My 9yo is embarrassed about her hairy legs.

[Ferdie]

My dd has dark hair and was shaving her legs by forth grade.

[mrs.m]

imo, any dad who wants a say in this must first inspect and review the Kotex Teen Sample Pack, list five signs of female pre-puberty on demand, and otherwise prove themselves worthy of Girly Hygiene Discussion.

 

:lol: This made my day.

 

DH wants nothing to do with any of that girly stuff. DD doesn't want me to discuss it with her father either and I don't think it is my place to bring him into this ongoing pub*rty discussion. DD started shaving when she was 9. She's a swimmer and the armpit hair was embarassing!

 

We use the Schick Intuition. It has the soap around the razor. The cost is outrageous but it is very convenient to use. She has never cut herself. I don't have problems with knicks either.

[Mommee & Baba]

Yeah, I'd let her shave if it bothers her.

 

:iagree:

 

I was sitting outside on the front porch with dd8 the other day and looked down and was floored at her dark hair on her legs and how long it was! I was shocked. DD8 looked at me and said "don't even go there mom, I'm not shaving yet!"...so I didn't even spark the conversation deeper...but soon she'll need to shave too!

[Haiku]

I know in the past people here have accused me of being anti-shaving, which I am not. I am anti-shaving-because-you-feel-pressured-to-shave.

 

Here's my two cents:

 

1) Shaving as a need-based, not age-based, thing: So if someone teased a four year old about her hairy legs and told her she should shave, and the four year old said she wanted to shave because she's embarrassed of her leg hair, would you let her shave/shave her legs for her? At what point have we pushed social pressure down so far that it's too far?

 

2) Letting little girls shave: Sure, why not? It's harmless in most respects, except that it sets up the idea that women/girls should and need to shave to be socially acceptable/desirable. I wish there were more resistance to that idea so that there wouldn't be teasing of little girls about their perfectly natural, normal hair. I don't shave. My dd17 started shaving at 14. I always explained to her why I didn't shave and why I didn't think it was necessary, and I always told her she could shave when she wanted to. If my dd9 wanted to shave, honestly, I would be upset. I would be upset that someone had convinced her that her natural, normal body is somehow yucky and embarrassing. In fact, I would be heartbroken that someone had put that idea on her. My dd loves her body ... it allows her to dance and play hockey and swim and ride her bike and feel good. I would be very sad if she decided that her body was flawed just because it's a cultural thing that women should shave. I would (and always have) talk to her about why I don't shave and how most women in the world don't shave. I would encourage her to make the decision she felt was best for her and not the one that is based on peer pressure. And I would let her shave if that's what she chose. I am happy that dd likes her leg hair ... she says she likes the way it feels when the wind blows through it. That may change. It may not. Regardless, I want my dds to know that they don't HAVE to bow to social pressure if they don't want to.

 

Imo, a child who can't shave on her own is too young to shave. That is where I would draw the line.

 

Tara

[Impish]

I don't understand why Dad would be excluded from this.

 

Before Diva started shaving, I mentioned to Wolf that I needed to teach her, get her a razor etc.

 

When she started her period, I told Wolf.

 

He absolutely flinched both times. His baby girl was/is growing up, no way of denying it. I think, like most Dads, part of him would love to freeze his baby girls at btwn 5-7 yrs old. A time when they're very, very much Daddy's Princess, when he has all the answers, before the struggle of growing up really begins.

 

I can't imagine not keeping him included and fully informed. They're as much his daughters as mine. I happen to be the one home ft, so I tend to be the one that has more information.

 

Just as I expect that Tazzie will likely turn to Wolf when he's older for 'guy issues', so the girls turn to me...but I would be really hurt if Wolf decided that, based on having a uterus, I didn't deserve to be informed as to what was going on with our son.

[Mommee & Baba]

I don't understand why Dad would be excluded from this.

 

Before Diva started shaving, I mentioned to Wolf that I needed to teach her, get her a razor etc.

 

When she started her period, I told Wolf.

 

He absolutely flinched both times. His baby girl was/is growing up, no way of denying it. I think, like most Dads, part of him would love to freeze his baby girls at btwn 5-7 yrs old. A time when they're very, very much Daddy's Princess, when he has all the answers, before the struggle of growing up really begins.

 

I can't imagine not keeping him included and fully informed. They're as much his daughters as mine. I happen to be the one home ft, so I tend to be the one that has more information.

 

Just as I expect that Tazzie will likely turn to Wolf when he's older for 'guy issues', so the girls turn to me...but I would be really hurt if Wolf decided that, based on having a uterus, I didn't deserve to be informed as to what was going on with our son.

 

Very well said! I really respect how you feel about your dh's feelings too. He is a parent too. I imagine this will be our home too.

[Joker]

I never said my dh wasn't informed. I said I didn't feel the need to ask first. We, of course, talk about those things but I didn't ask him if she could shave. He doesn't expect me to ask him about the girly stuff but I don't keep it from him.

[KarenC]

She had very hairy legs. We never said anything, and I don't think it bothered her until this summer when her older sister started shaving her legs. When she realized how much hairier her legs were than the other girls, she was embarrassed. She starting shaving this summer. We didn't make a big deal about it. It's just personal hygiene.

 

Karen

[leeannpal]

My DD will be 9 this month. If she wanted to shave, I would have no problem with that. But, I think I would be doing the shaving t begin with even with an electric razor. Like all other areas of hygiene, a girl needs to be taught how to shave. Since my Dd is blond, we haven't reached that point yet, but her physical age won't matter to me.

[Crissy]

I would let her shave regardless of what her father, grandmother, or anyone else thinks. It is her body and her embarrassment. What her father, grandparents or anyone else thinks doesn't matter.

 

 

 

:iagree:

When my children come to me regarding their personal care, I help them deal with the situation in a way that is comfortable to them. I don't consult other family members before helping them.

[Crissy]

 

 

This is a myth. Shaving does not make hair grow back thicker (or darker).

 

 

 

 

Right. The end of the hair is simply more blunt due to having been cut, so it feels thicker.

[8circles]

See, that's what I'm leaning towards, but how to convince daddy that his little girl is growing up?

 

He shouldn't need convincing. It happens whether or not daddy realizes it. It sounds like she's ready, let her do it.

[katilac]

I can't imagine not keeping him included and fully informed. They're as much his daughters as mine. I happen to be the one home ft' date=' so I tend to be the one that has more information.[/b']

 

Just as I expect that Tazzie will likely turn to Wolf when he's older for 'guy issues', so the girls turn to me...but I would be really hurt if Wolf decided that, based on having a uterus, I didn't deserve to be informed as to what was going on with our son.

 

He's informed, he just doesn't get a say in it.

 

But he's definitely informed. The poor man's bathroom has a Hello Kitty shower curtain, purple razors on the edge of the tub, and Kotex under the sink. He is outnumbered, and probably far more informed than he'd like to be :lol:

[Crissy]

He's informed, he just doesn't get a say in it.

 

 

 

 

This, but...

I'm not sure why much of this even warrants discussion. When my boys decided they were ready to begin shaving, it didn't even occur to me to make an announcement to my husband.

"Honey, Jeffrey shaved his face this morning. Hunter started wearing deodorant this week." :001_huh:

[DianeW88]

A friend was telling me about her gizmo. She called it an "epidural." :lol::lol::lol:

 

 

:smilielol5: I think that having an epidural before using an epilady is probably a dang good idea!! :lol:

[LidiyaDawn]

 

When she started her period, I told Wolf.

 

 

 

Did he tell her that he knew?? I would have been utterly mortified if my father ever even mentioned the word around me! :tongue_smilie:

 

[and no doubt he would have been as well LOL]

[LidiyaDawn]

Did I see hair removal cream mentioned? Eeek. I haven't gone anywhere NEAR that stuff ever since I burned my skin trying to make stripes in my eyebrows when I was 14 - that stuff is NASTY!

 

I don't think it goes on your face?

 

Well it isn't supposed to go there… I was fourteen. I wanted stripes. :p

[Jennifer3141]

If it embarrasses her, then of course you must let her shave, regardless of her age.

 

:iagree:

[Impish]

Did he tell her that he knew?? I would have been utterly mortified if my father ever even mentioned the word around me! :tongue_smilie:

 

[and no doubt he would have been as well LOL]

Of course she knows her Dad knows.

 

I don't understand why it would be an issue. No snark, truly clueless. Its a normal part of puberty, not something shameful.

 

Heck, Wolf does a fair bit of grocery shopping around here. If she's running out of supplies, asking Daddy to pick her up more has to happen.

[HayleyKC]

I was like her! My mom had originally said I could shave at 11. But I was so darn hairy! Two weeks before my 10th birthday (so technically 9), I was in the shower and hollered to my mom. When she came in I said, "Since my birthday's coming up. . . can I please start shaving?" I know she felt bad for me and my majorly hairy legs too, so decided it would be okay. She gave me a quick lesson on the spot and the shaving began. Don't know if this is right or wrong, but she never made it an issue that my dad had any say in. It was kind of a girl thing I guess. It wasn't a secret or anything, just something she decided on.

 

Now. . . my 8 yo dd is on the same track. My husband and I both have noticed how hairy her little legs are and I know it's from me! Fortunately right now the hair is super light which was better than mine. That may soon change though. She hasn't made an issue of it but I suppose I should be prepared for when she does. In our case, my husband won't have a problem. He kind of feels bad for her already that her legs are already so hairy, but he's relieved/glad she doesn't feel bad about it. When she does, we will oblige. No sense in letting something small like that cause her to be self conscious. There will be enough things to deal with that can't be as easily remedied. I just want to be sure and wait long enough that I think she can safely use a razor! :scared:

[parias1126]

I thought of this thread this morning with regard to the dad situation. This morning my DD was upset because her legs were hairy again (she had previously shaved a couple months ago. She wanted to wear shorts today. I was busy so my DH went in the bathroom with his electric razor and shaved DDs legs for her. I just thought that was so sweet!

[LidiyaDawn]

Did he tell her that he knew?? I would have been utterly mortified if my father ever even mentioned the word around me!

 

[and no doubt he would have been as well LOL]

 

Of course she knows her Dad knows.

 

I don't understand why it would be an issue. No snark, truly clueless. Its a normal part of puberty, not something shameful.

 

Heck, Wolf does a fair bit of grocery shopping around here. If she's running out of supplies, asking Daddy to pick her up more has to happen.

 

Yeah it's "normal" ….for GIRLS! :tongue_smilie:

 

I've never EVER had my husband pick up any 'girl stuff' for either of us. Gah. Just the thought of it makes me cringe… he'd refuse anyway out of embarrassment :laugh:

 

I don't know…different people, different families… girl stuff just isn't discussed with the guys.

[Impish]

Yeah it's "normal" ….for GIRLS! :tongue_smilie:

 

I've never EVER had my husband pick up any 'girl stuff' for either of us. Gah. Just the thought of it makes me cringe… he'd refuse anyway out of embarrassment :laugh:

 

I don't know…different people, different families… girl stuff just isn't discussed with the guys.

LOL...yeah, I get that my family is probably a bit unusual. Realistically, though, I don't drive, and with RSD, can't be counted on to get stuff like grocery shopping done when it needs to be.

 

Then again, Wolf's always helped w/grocery shopping, and has never had an issue w/picking up personal supplies for me. Neither of us view it as any big deal at all, just a natural part of life.

[LuvingLife]

I agree you should let her start shaving, I know how I felt in 6th grade when I was being made fun of in gym class. I have very dark hair and dark skin, so I was able to hide my hair for awhile but then I started begging my mom to let me shave and she agreed.

[Slartibartfast]

Yeah it's "normal" ….for GIRLS! :tongue_smilie:

 

I've never EVER had my husband pick up any 'girl stuff' for either of us. Gah. Just the thought of it makes me cringe… he'd refuse anyway out of embarrassment :laugh:

 

I don't know…different people, different families… girl stuff just isn't discussed with the guys.

 

?

 

It is normal here. Dh picks up "girl stuff" all the time. I did cashier some in my youth and lots of guys purchased tampons/pads.

 

We are pretty matter of fact, dd isn't really shy about discussing it.

Edited August 6, 2011 by Sis

[Crissy]

?

 

It is normal here. Dh picks up "girl stuff" all the time. I did cashier some in my youth and lots of guys purchased tampons/pads

 

Yes. I don't think It's that unusual. My dad never bought tampons/pads, but my brother wasn't embarrassed to pick up anything for his mom or sisters.

[T'smom]

Yes. I don't think It's that unusual. My dad never bought tampons/pads, but my brother wasn't embarrassed to pick up anything for his mom or sisters.

 

I agree that it's totally normal for guys to pick up "girl" products. I'm sure my dad never did- but then he NEVER went to Wal-Mart or the grocery store at all. Well, maybe once/year. Dh does if I need something and he's the one going to the store. It's never occurred to either of us to think about it. I only have littles right now, but dh is a very involved dad and if something were to come up (period starting) when dd was with him instead of me- I'm sure that he could handle it. He is SUCH a wonderful man and I have much to be thankful for.

[LidiyaDawn]

He is SUCH a wonderful man and I have much to be thankful for.

 

My dh is a wonderful guy and very involved too… he just ain't involved with girl stuff! :p

[mrs.m]

My DH will get whatever is necessary from the store but he doesn't feel like it's necessary for him to know where his DD is in the maturing process. It's not kept a secret. And it isn't being treated as if it is shameful. He just doesn't feel like he needs the details. I know he could handle anything if it came up and I wasn't around. But he prefers any decisions that need to go along with the process to default to me. And I know my DD would prefer to not have to discuss it with him as well. ;)

[LidiyaDawn]

You guys who have husbands who pick these things up…doesn't it get weird when you have to start explaining brands, absorbencies, etc??? The mere thought of uttering the words "super absorbency tampon" to my dh has me turned red faced just THINKING about it. omg no. WAY TMI. :laugh:

[mrs.m]

You guys who have husbands who pick these things up…doesn't it get weird when you have to start explaining brands, absorbencies, etc??? The mere thought of uttering the words "super absorbency tampon" to my dh has me turned red faced just THINKING about it. omg no. WAY TMI. :laugh:

 

I prefer not to have him pick it up. I have to be so specific and he's always like :confused: and grabs the first thing he thinks is close. It's a risky situation. :lol: One time he told me a lady in the store helped him figure out what I meant. :001_huh:

[tntgoodwin]

I've bought those items for dw on occasion. Heck, I even bought some once for a female friend who was in dire need, and her boyfriend was too embarrassed to do it.

There isn't a lot of explanation required, just get whatever she asks for.

 

Between me growing up with a sister, having mostly female friends, and then dating my wife who has 2 sisters and an outspoken mother, this stuff was always talked about. No big deal to me.

Edited August 6, 2011 by tntgoodwin

[Slartibartfast]

You guys who have husbands who pick these things up…doesn't it get weird when you have to start explaining brands, absorbencies, etc??? The mere thought of uttering the words "super absorbency tampon" to my dh has me turned red faced just THINKING about it. omg no. WAY TMI. :laugh:

 

He knows what color the box is and what "color" absorbency I buy. :lol:

 

Did you ever notice if they change the box there is a picture of the old box on the new box? I think that is for men. :lol:

[Mommy22alyns]

He knows what color the box is and what "color" absorbency I buy. :lol:

 

Did you ever notice if they change the box there is a picture of the old box on the new box? I think that is for men. :lol:

 

 

Oh my gosh, exactly! DH is fine if he gets that picture in his brain. Thankfully, he's also perfectly fine with picking things up for me.

[Princess Peach]

A few years ago on Christmas Eve, my DH was out getting things at the store. I needed pads and told him to get the thin kind. He got Maxi Pads. Seriously. The kind that feels like you wadded up a whole roll of toilet paper and stuck it in your pants. And there was nothing I could do. It was the night before Christmas. :glare:

[BatmansWife]

You guys who have husbands who pick these things up…doesn't it get weird when you have to start explaining brands, absorbencies, etc??? The mere thought of uttering the words "super absorbency tampon" to my dh has me turned red faced just THINKING about it. omg no. WAY TMI. :laugh:

 

I have my dh pick up the stuff when we need it. Usually I cut out a part of the box with the name on it so he can take it with him to the store. Seriously! He can then play a matching game. :D Funny to think he's going around with part of a Kotex box in his pocket. He doesn't mind....he writes his grocery list on the back of it. :lol:

 

I've bought those items for dw on occasion. Heck, I even bought some once for a female friend who was in dire need, and her boyfriend was too embarrassed to do it.

There isn't a lot of explanation required, just get whatever she asks for.

 

Between me growing up with a sister, having mostly female friends, and then dating my wife who has 2 sisters and an outspoken mother, this stuff was always talked about. No big deal to me.

 

Can I just say....how cool of you to be a part of this conversation. :thumbup1:

 

Oh, and to the OP....I would let her shave. I'd probably do it for her for awhile though. If she's used to you helping her brush her hair, or braid it, etc (the hair on her head, not her legs, that is :lol: ), then she probably won't think it's weird to have you shave her legs for her.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Well, in our house, dad would definitely notice. Small house, one bathroom (with a door that hardly anyone ever remembers to close), extra razor hanging in the shower, dd spending so much time in the bathroom....yeah, he would notice. Oh, and I don't mean to make it sound like he will say no necessarily. I just don't think he'll particularly LIKE the idea. He thinks girls try to grow up too fast these days.

 

And this is where you disavow him of the notion that shaving has anything more to do with growing up too fast than using deodorant. It is a hygiene issue - to avoid being teased - like dandruff.

 

Also, this is where you let him know that he can't stop time. Puberty is here whether he is ready for it or not. If he doesn't embrace the changes, he will create the distance he fears. As wistful as I am when I think of dd growing up, I know that the only way I can maintain the close relationship with my daughter is to love the person she is becoming, not spend my time pining for the little girl she was. When I need to stop time, I just pull out all those adorable pictures of her when she was little.

[mo2]

You guys who have husbands who pick these things up…doesn't it get weird when you have to start explaining brands, absorbencies, etc??? The mere thought of uttering the words "super absorbency tampon" to my dh has me turned red faced just THINKING about it. omg no. WAY TMI. :laugh:

 

 

My husband watched me give birth. I think we're past the point of "TMI." :lol: He will pick up these things for me, but he says he gets confused because there are *so many* choices.

 

Here's an update since this thread is still being posted on: Dd and I have a "girls' day" planned for next week. We're supposed to go for lunch and do some shopping for her because she's outgrowing all her clothes. So I told her we'll pick her out a razor that day while we're out. An electric razor is a great idea, and if they're really down in the 20-dollar range, we may just go with that option.

 

Thanks everyone for the input.

[laundrycrisis]

As wistful as I am when I think of dd growing up, I know that the only way I can maintain the close relationship with my daughter is to love the person she is becoming, not spend my time pining for the little girl she was. When I need to stop time, I just pull out all those adorable pictures of her when she was little.

 

So true. :crying::001_wub:

[Haiku]

 

I don't know…different people, different families… girl stuff just isn't discussed with the guys.

 

I use a Diva Cup, and at one point misplaced it. I asked dh to stop on the way home (the store that sells them is right by his office) and get me a new one. I didn't open the new one and a few days later found my old one. I asked dh to return the new, unopened one. When he took it back to the store the girl looked at him a little funny and dh said, "Turns out I didn't need it after all!" :lol:

 

Tara

[Impish]

I use a Diva Cup, and at one point misplaced it. I asked dh to stop on the way home (the store that sells them is right by his office) and get me a new one. I didn't open the new one and a few days later found my old one. I asked dh to return the new, unopened one. When he took it back to the store the girl looked at him a little funny and dh said, "Turns out I didn't need it after all!" :lol:

 

Tara

Bwah hahahahahaha!

 

Knowing Wolf, he would have said, "I thought it was a shot glass..." just to watch the poor girl gack.