What am I doing wrong here?

[Mrs. A]

I have been doing K work with DS for several weeks now. We do a little bit each day of phonics, writing and math. Up until the past week he has been enjoying it (or so it seemed). Now these past few days he has been resisting every time. He says he hates school and throws a fit. So far I have been assuming that he's just acting his age and I have insisted that he finish whatever it is we were doing, but a part of me wonders if maybe I'm trying too hard? I don't know,... We're not talking a long time for lessons. Maybe 10-15 minutes tops on each subject. I'm trying to make it fun (although I have to admit I'm very bad at it. I'm a sort of "get-the-job-done-in-the-most-efficient-way-possible-with-no-detours" person) I'm not forcing him to sit at a desk and I try to make games and do fun things with the lessons.

 

Sigh. Maybe it's because he just had a birthday, or maybe it's the full moon. But if it IS me then I have to find something to do about it. I would love to hear thoughts.

 

Thanks.

[JessReplanted]

Is he just testing his boundaries?

 

I want school to be fun and enjoyable, but I also let my kids know that this is their 'job'. School is not an option (on school days). It is just something that has to be done, and there will be consequences if they don't comply.

[Dobela]

Part of it is just his age. Part of it maybe that the new has worn off.

[Mrs. A]

Is he just testing his boundaries?

 

I want school to be fun and enjoyable, but I also let my kids know that this is their 'job'. School is not an option (on school days). It is just something that has to be done, and there will be consequences if they don't comply.

 

This was my initial thought and so I've been acting accordingly. I have such a tendency to second guess myself though and am very wishy-washy when it comes to discipline because I'm afraid of confrontation. I have recognized that about myself and am trying very hard to work on being consistent, but I'm still struggling a lot. Maybe DS knows???

[dakarimom5]

Is the work too hard or too easy? Do you have a set time for school? My DD is very resistant to school if it isn't in the morning. But we can watch a Leap Frog movie or a documentary on nature in the afternoon and she will be fine with it...just not writing or math.

 

When I started schooling her last fall she was very resistant to all of it. I put it all away and just read to her for a few months, now she is very open to it.

 

Just out of curiosity, what are you using?

[Chris in VA]

Keep going. School doesn't have to be fun, and he doesn't have to like it.

Radical, I know. :001_smile:

[angela in ohio]

I don't mean to scare you, but...

 

This is the first resistance from your oldest child. You are about to set the tone of your entire homeschool with this encounter.

 

It is not too much to expect 30 minutes or so of work from a 5 yo kindergartener. Stick to your guns. :001_smile: You can't be a great homeschool mama if you are afraid of confrontation or wishy-washy on discipline. You are doing great, you aren't asking too much, and it is good for him to learn to focus for a bit each day on school work (a nice gradual process, rather than waiting until he is older and thrusting it all on him at once.)

 

Keep on keeping on!! :D

Edited July 16, 2011 by angela in ohio

[Sahamamama]

I don't mean to scare you, but...

 

This is the first resistance from your oldest child. You are about to set the tone of your entire homeschool with this encounter.

 

It is not too much to expect 30 minutes or so of work from a 5 yo kindergartener. Stick to your guns. :001_smile: You can't be a great homeschool mama if you are afraid of confrontation or wishy-washy on discipline. You are doing great, you aren't asking too much, and it is good for him to learn to focus for a bit each day on school work (a nice gradual process, rather than waiting until he is older and thrusting it all on him at once.)

 

Keep on keeping on!! :D

 

:iagree:Everything she said. And, yes, he knows that you are unsure of yourself. In homeschooling, we (parents) also learn and grow. It's okay to change and become a confident mother. You may not know all there is to know, but you do know more than your five year old. ;) :grouphug: Hang in there.

[ktgrok]

Just make sure you are not doing all 30-45 minutes in a row. That long for seatwork is probably too long all at once for a just turned 5 year old boy. Do one subject, then play a game or let him go outside to look for bugs or rocks. Then do another subject. Then eat a snack and let him have free play while you clean up a bit. Then do the last subject.

[Mrs. A]

Is the work too hard or too easy? Do you have a set time for school? My DD is very resistant to school if it isn't in the morning. But we can watch a Leap Frog movie or a documentary on nature in the afternoon and she will be fine with it...just not writing or math.

 

When I started schooling her last fall she was very resistant to all of it. I put it all away and just read to her for a few months, now she is very open to it.

 

Just out of curiosity, what are you using?

 

 

We are using Alpha-phonics, MUS primer and ZB K workbook plus other miscellaneous stuff for writing. We have been doing everything at the same time each day so he knows to expect it.

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by angela in ohio

I don't mean to scare you, but...

 

This is the first resistance from your oldest child. You are about to set the tone of your entire homeschool with this encounter.

 

It is not too much to expect 30 minutes or so of work from a 5 yo kindergartener. Stick to your guns. You can't be a great homeschool mama if you are afraid of confrontation or wishy-washy on discipline. You are doing great, you aren't asking too much, and it is good for him to learn to focus for a bit each day on school work (a nice gradual process, rather than waiting until he is older and thrusting it all on him at once.)

 

Keep on keeping on!!

Everything she said. And, yes, he knows that you are unsure of yourself. In homeschooling, we (parents) also learn and grow. It's okay to change and become a confident mother. You may not know all there is to know, but you do know more than your five year old. Hang in there.

 

Chris in VA Keep going. School doesn't have to be fun, and he doesn't have to like it.

Radical, I know.

 

thank you so much for these words. Very encouraging. I'm glad to know I'm not damaging him for life or setting him up to hate learning. Lol Maybe I read too many childpsych books :tongue_smilie:

[angela in ohio]

thank you so much for these words. Very encouraging. I'm glad to know I'm not damaging him for life or setting him up to hate learning. Lol Maybe I read too many childpsych books :tongue_smilie:

 

Quite the opposite! I started very consistently building up from a small amount of seat work at that age, requiring consistency, and my dc LOVE to learn! Success breeds a desire to continue and enjoyment. :001_smile:

[NanceXToo]

I'm going to disagree with the majority. Five is young and a lot of five year olds (especially boys) just might not be ready for any sort of sit-down academic kind of work.

 

Not that you would want to follow it exactly but you still might want to read "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores just for a little perspective.

 

K didn't used to be academic back when we were in school. 1st Grade used to be time enough for that. Now K is more academic to "prepare" kids for 1st, and pre-k is more academic to "prepare" kids for K- me, I'm more about letting little kids just be little kids, keeping things very hands-on and informal and, yes, fun. There's nothing wrong with fun when you're five. There's time enough for the "school doesn't have to be fun and school has to happen!" attitude throughout their whole lives. It doesn't have to happen at 5. In many places, K isn't even mandatory. Where I live, compulsory school age doesn't even start until kids are 8.

 

Which is just to say, if he's not ready, not interested, beginning to "hate school," and you don't want that attitude to carry on and/or become really ingrained in him, I personally think it's fine to take a step (or two) back, relax, look for something more interest-led and fun, give it another six months or a year and then try again if you want to with your K plans. Even informally, he'll still learn lots. How can he not? Kids learn from the world around them all the time, even when you're not trying.

 

Just for fun, here's something I wrote about my son, called "A Kindergarten Dropout"....

 

http://nancextoo.livejournal.com/190076.html

 

But the truth is- it doesn't matter what any of us say. What do YOUR instincts tell YOU about YOUR child? Good luck, whatever you decide!

[JudoMom]

Quite the opposite! I started very consistently building up from a small amount of seat work at that age, requiring consistency, and my dc LOVE to learn! Success breeds a desire to continue and enjoyment. :001_smile:

 

:iagree:

 

I also wanted to mention that I found it most difficult to get my oldest into this habit. He didn't have an older sibling to watch model this behavior; instead he just got to watch/hear his younger brothers play if they were awake. The younger boys didn't have quite the same fight in them when it came to beginning seat work, because they knew from watching the oldest it was just something we do.

[Little Nyssa]

The same thing happened with my DS. What helped was breaking it down into 15-20 minute chunks. and I learned by experience to tell when he needed a break vs when I needed to encourage him to press on. And to do everything in the morning.

[Tess in the Burbs]

take a break and pick it up in a few weeks. My son started MUS primer and we were doing 100EL back at that age. His interest waned quickly. I took some time off and brought it back later and he was more on board then. He's young and a month off won't ruin his future. We take breaks like this even now. If a subject is really an issue we try to change it up or take a few weeks off. Every time I can bring it back into the routine with less issues than if I had pushed through it.

[ktgrok]

I'm going to disagree with the majority. Five is young and a lot of five year olds (especially boys) just might not be ready for any sort of sit-down academic kind of work.

 

Not that you would want to follow it exactly but you still might want to read "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores just for a little perspective.

 

K didn't used to be academic back when we were in school. 1st Grade used to be time enough for that. Now K is more academic to "prepare" kids for 1st, and pre-k is more academic to "prepare" kids for K- me, I'm more about letting little kids just be little kids, keeping things very hands-on and informal and, yes, fun. There's nothing wrong with fun when you're five. There's time enough for the "school doesn't have to be fun and school has to happen!" attitude throughout their whole lives. It doesn't have to happen at 5. In many places, K isn't even mandatory. Where I live, compulsory school age doesn't even start until kids are 8.

 

Which is just to say, if he's not ready, not interested, beginning to "hate school," and you don't want that attitude to carry on and/or become really ingrained in him, I personally think it's fine to take a step (or two) back, relax, look for something more interest-led and fun, give it another six months or a year and then try again if you want to with your K plans. Even informally, he'll still learn lots. How can he not? Kids learn from the world around them all the time, even when you're not trying.

 

Just for fun, here's something I wrote about my son, called "A Kindergarten Dropout"....

 

http://nancextoo.livejournal.com/190076.html

 

But the truth is- it doesn't matter what any of us say. What do YOUR instincts tell YOU about YOUR child? Good luck, whatever you decide!

 

Good point. The OP said it wasn't just seat work, more games and such, which would be good. My son at just turned 5 was not ready for any seatwork at all. At 6 he was ready.

[Lily_Grace]

I'm going to disagree with the majority. Five is young and a lot of five year olds (especially boys) just might not be ready for any sort of sit-down academic kind of work.

 

Not that you would want to follow it exactly but you still might want to read "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores just for a little perspective.

 

K didn't used to be academic back when we were in school. 1st Grade used to be time enough for that. Now K is more academic to "prepare" kids for 1st, and pre-k is more academic to "prepare" kids for K- me, I'm more about letting little kids just be little kids, keeping things very hands-on and informal and, yes, fun. There's nothing wrong with fun when you're five. There's time enough for the "school doesn't have to be fun and school has to happen!" attitude throughout their whole lives. It doesn't have to happen at 5. In many places, K isn't even mandatory. Where I live, compulsory school age doesn't even start until kids are 8.

 

Which is just to say, if he's not ready, not interested, beginning to "hate school," and you don't want that attitude to carry on and/or become really ingrained in him, I personally think it's fine to take a step (or two) back, relax, look for something more interest-led and fun, give it another six months or a year and then try again if you want to with your K plans. Even informally, he'll still learn lots. How can he not? Kids learn from the world around them all the time, even when you're not trying.

 

Just for fun, here's something I wrote about my son, called "A Kindergarten Dropout"....

 

http://nancextoo.livejournal.com/190076.html

 

But the truth is- it doesn't matter what any of us say. What do YOUR instincts tell YOU about YOUR child? Good luck, whatever you decide!

 

I agree wholeheartedly. Resisting the work at this age might indicate any number of things, one being that he's just not ready for it yet.

 

I also think that putting off work until a child is ready maturity-wise can be better for academics and lead to less frustration in the long run. I look at preschool activities and toys that start "teaching" colors, numbers, and sounds before even age 1 now! Yet when a child is ready, there is such a difference in how quickly they get the concepts. We can "teach" them for 3 years what their colors are, or quickly go over them in 15 minutes when they have the life experience behind them to make the connection.

 

Kindergarten is a time to explore social settings, concrete ideas, and their communities. There's no need to push the sit down work if they are not asking for it.

[kalanamak]

I'm going to disagree with the majority. Five is young and a lot of five year olds (especially boys) just might not be ready for any sort of sit-down academic kind of work.

 

 

When kiddo was "just turning 5" we were still in 5 minute sessions per subject. Since my biggest goal at that age was teaching him there was a time and place for school (I work full time, so I'm not that flexible), I made sure, at that age, it was mostly fun. I also timed it carefully. Kiddo would have his day of eating and playing and running errands, and then I came home. We had about 20 minutes of greeting and organizing, and then it was sit-down time. After sit-down time we had something very physical planned, like swimming. My training technique was to strike a prepared mind that knew a desirable goal was reached at the end of the school work.

 

But, I knew I had a very wiggly boy, who came from gene pool of wiggly, active, late-bloomers. 3 hours of good hard running, swimming, playing a day were required.

 

In your case, I don't think K handwriting is life or death. If the child is not sitting and attending to this, do any of the plenty of other hand-eye activities out there. Art, assembly toys, cooking, gardening, heck I used to do cat petting games where I would gently run a finger down a certain track or pattern on the (loving-it) cat and have kiddo mimic the route with his right index finger.

 

For reading, although this was more K4 for us, we wandered through the parking lot sounding out car names. (I have a lovely memory of my son gravely telling the matronly woman getting out a Kia that "the Kia people may think they are fooling people with that upside down V, but everyone knew it that really wasn't how an A was made.") This is an example of how a young child can see the VALUE of what learning his letters is. The better to read cars with! Don't you learn better when you agree with the goal?

 

Just some thoughts, HTH, and don't panic, he's only 5.

[RahRah]

How much time are you spending as one chunk with seat-work?

 

My experience with DS was that seat-work is a learned skill, just like other skills....starting off with short time blocks (5-minutes of seat-work) and slowly ramping that up with maturity (we can now do 20-minutes of seat-work when needed at almost seven) worked well with DS.

 

You're doing K - the vast majority of what you do really should be, IMHO, active, play-based learning - at least for the first few months; as you take time to do seat-work, do it in small time blocks, make it fun and he'll enjoy it. The goal of K is to learn very basic skills and concepts so that in the grammar stage that serves as your foundation to learn more - K isn't, in my estimation, about following a rigorous schedule, but about learning how much fun it is to learn new things.

[Mrs. A]

Thank you all for your great input. I really appreciate it. You've given me a lot to think about....

 

If anyone else wants to add, I'm all ears. :)

[ChrisN in NY]

I go more toward the "stick with it" group. You know your son best, and made plans with that knowledge. Kids are smart and a 5yo will know (though will probably not be able to articulate it) that if he gives you a hard time you will second guess yourself.

 

That said, I have one statement and one question.

 

Don't work to his frustration level each day (not that you are; I don't know). If he's starting to get frustrated with something, STOP! Let it go for the day. Pick it up tomorrow back to before he was getting frustrated and move from there.

 

What do you mean by "writing"? Are you referring to handwriting or to composition?

[Free]

I agree with the posters who have suggested taking it a little slow. 5 is still young. Perhaps you can look at different ways of allowing him to show his work, for example doing maths orally. Instead of formal writing, you could probably have him make posters on any topic that interests him?

[chepyl]

Pick your battles, I had to learn this over the past year with my Kindergartner;)! He LOVED school. But some days he just did not want to do it. I would tell him he had to do one page from each workbook (math, phonics, reading comp) and we had to do hist or science out of What Your Kindergartner Needs to Know. He could pick the pages. We went a little out of order on those days, but we got it done and he was happy and I was less stressed.

 

Other days, he would not like the page I picked for him to do, we made a deal - he did my page, then he could pick one...he accomplished more in one day and again, we were both happy. ;)

 

Not doing our school work was not an option, sometimes I just gave him a little control over what he learned. If I was tired and he was in a mood, I would tell him he had to read a book, any book from his room or the library stack. Then he had to tell me about it.

 

He loved cutting and taping! His work book had lots of cut and match activities. He always wanted to skip to those. Is there something that your son LOVES to do? Can you find more activities geared towards that?

 

Some things I had to learn about boys and school:

 

*He CAN bounce a ball, jump up and down, do somersaults, or dance AND hear what I read to him. He evens remembers it better when he is moving.

 

*School on the floor is just as effective as school at a desk...some times more effective!

 

*It's okay to skip pages and go out of order! This was so hard, I am a do it all and do it in order type of person! He got bored with basic addition and subtraction, so we skipped to the 2 digit pages, then went back for review later. We did not finish ANY of his workbooks or the one text we had. It is OKAY!!! I had to say that over and over.

 

*School can happen in PJs, in swimsuits, or regular clothes and if we are not ready for school at 9 AM, 9 PM can be just as good for learning.

 

*You don't have to follow the directions!! Some of the workbook pages had so much busy work, you can skip the busy work...(i.e. We stopped doing the spelling worksheets, he read through the words and spelled them out loud on Monday, later in the week he would spell the in magnets on the fridge, another day he would write them on the white board or paper.)

 

I am sure there is more that I am forgetting. Mainly, I had to get over my idea of school and remember that I am homeschooling so I can give him the education that works best for him. If that means doing mental math rather than written math for a day - that is okay.

 

Sorry it got so long! Sometimes I ramble :D

[Embassy]

Did he just turn 5 or 6? Is this his first experience with any formal instruction?

 

If he just turned 5 I might try to slack off a bit. I would keep up with a school format, but change what you are doing for each subject to help him get into the rhythm and habit of school. For instance, instead of MUS do a math game. Instead of phonics read a book to him. Once he is comfortable with the pattern I would start adding formal work a little at a time.

[Wamommy]

At 5, I would be doing mostly play based learning, games and reading books. Take a step back and make learning fun. At that age, my kids didn't even realize they were doing schoolwork because it was all incorporated into our daily life.

[Catherine]

My youngest, the only one I taught at K age, did this. In his case, with the benefit of 5 years of hindsight, it was a combination of learning quirks and testing me. He was definitely ready to learn to read, to learn math, but he also had very strong feelings about certain things. For instance, he did NOT want to learn the memorized rhymes in OPGTR. I skipped, it, we moved on, he was fine. I allowed him to choose where were did the reading lessons (never more than 10 mins) and only insisted he sit at a table for writing (very, VERY short lessons).

 

You are setting a pattern here-it's important to be clear within yourself about whether you are going to do it, or not. If you've decided he's ready, your lessons are not laboriously long, then insist he do it, and allow him to control as much of it as he can. When my son understood it was definitely going to happen, and what parts were under his control, things were much better.

 

ETA: I am swayed by the "readiness" argument only for certain children. In our case, he has always been ready to learn, but even as a rising fifth grader, there are some topics that are difficult (math and writing) and that he definitely would choose never to do it he could. Insofar as I am able, I accomodate his learning style, but his learning style, or learning disabilities, if you want to call it that, mean that math and writing will never be easy. That said, he voluntarily chose to take a creative writing class this past year, and loved it! Without the foundation we had laid, that would not have been possible.

Edited July 17, 2011 by Catherine

[In The Great White North]

None of mine were doing "school" at just turned 5. We had bedtime stories. We counted going up and down stairs (in a couple of languages.) We cooked, played games, worked in the garden, etc.

 

That was it.

 

Kindy was at a Waldorf school (ie. no seatwork at all, certainly not worksheets) so dc were almost 7 before they started "real" school.

 

Delaying didn't inhibit their love of learning. In fact, the one with the least love of learning is the youngest, who was subjected to "school" earliest because she listened in to what the others were doing.

[cuckoomamma]

I think 5 is really early for work. Of course, none of us are really sure what that looks like in your house, so you'd have to be the judge. I also want to add to that great list that a pp had posted urging you that you don't have to formally declare it work time. You can just do what would count in your mind as work. So, if a game counts, you can just play it without making a big deal.

 

I have a 10 and 6 yo, and my 6 yo is far more kinesthetic than my older dd. She found things that my older loved doing just torture for her. At 6 she's able to do a little more seat work.

 

Want to mention that you can mix up the subjects, too. We don't do every subject all the time. Sometimes we skip months waiting for a developmental leap (math). My younger loves doing science now, so we do lots of science :001_smile:

 

I think part of it comes down to what you believe about schooling. Some people believe that you have to establish this discipline to do "work". I just want my children learning, whether they know it or not. There's plenty of time to learn how to sit and write. But, as full disclosure, we don't do spelling or handwriting. It's worked out great for us, but it's not everyone's perspective.

[Mrs. A]

ChrisN in NY I go more toward the "stick with it" group. You know your son best, and made plans with that knowledge. Kids are smart and a 5yo will know (though will probably not be able to articulate it) that if he gives you a hard time you will second guess yourself.

 

That said, I have one statement and one question.

 

Don't work to his frustration level each day (not that you are; I don't know). If he's starting to get frustrated with something, STOP! Let it go for the day. Pick it up tomorrow back to before he was getting frustrated and move from there.

 

What do you mean by "writing"? Are you referring to handwriting or to composition?

 

by writing I mean handwriting- learning to form letters and numbers. He really enjoys it most days because we have a little rhyme or story that goes with each one to help him remember how to form it (for example the number 7 is: "across the sky, down from heaven, that's the way to make a seven") and he has even made up his own stories and rhymes for a few letters. Sometimes it's sitting at the table doing the workbook (which he actually loves), sometimes I ask him what word he'd like to write and I write it for him, then he copies it, other times we sit on the couch with a dry erase lapboard and he writes and has fun erasing.

 

With the math I could be more creative I think. Some days he's happy to use the manipulatives and practice what we saw in the video, other days he wants nothing to do with it, but I have no other ideas to substitute if he's having an off day. Maybe I need to do some searching to find more games etc. We do counting and adding on our fingers and occasionally he'll use the abacus if the number is bigger than 10. We put up the date on our calendar every day and count up to that number, sometimes skip counting.

 

Phonics is the most difficult one- I KNOW he's ready for it, and sometimes he doesn't make a fuss at all. We usually cuddle on the couch while we do it. But some days he just throws himself back and sort of melts off the couch saying he doesn't want to do it. He enjoys competition and so I've tried to make it into a game where I write the word on the lapboard and tell him that he will NEVER be able to read that word because it's just too tricky. Then he will read it and I'll act all surprised and disappointed, as though he had won the game and I lost. Many times he gets a kick out of this, but like I said, there are days when he doesn't. Maybe I need to do some digging in this area too and find other activities that I could substitute for when he doesn't feel able to sit on the couch.

 

 

we talk about these things and he asks me questions or makes observations all day long, so learning is very much a natural part of our lives, but I had really wanted to get into the habit of having a specific time set aside for "school".

[Soror]

At just turned 5 I would say perhaps he isn't ready but only you know. Mine wasn't ready for anything like that until 5.5 then we just slowly added in things. First he did his writing(we just did games for Math- Hi Ho Cherries and such). Then at 5.75 we added in I see Sam and then at 6.25 we added in RSB. That was when he was ready, of course kids are ready at all different ages. It is not optional now of course but I try to remember that school hasn't always started so soon and still doesn't at other places.

[Meriwether]

I'm going to go against the majority here. All of my kids have done more than 30 minutes of seatwork for kindergarten (all at one sitting). One started K at just past 4. The current 4 year old started at 4 1/2, but I would have started him when he turned four if he had been my oldest. I wouldn't tell another parent that their child should be doing seatwork at 4, but I also wouldn't tell a parent that their child probably isn't ready for it either, especially if I've never met that child. As my mom says when I ask her for advice, it's your child; you have to know what to do for them.

[Parrothead]

This is a just turned 5-year old? Doing K'er work? Did you do preschool? Have you practiced sitting for more than 5 minutes at a time in the past?

 

The way I did it was to start off slowly, but consistently. Dd was 4 and 11 months when we started kindergarten the first week of September. I used 100 Easy Lessons, some math readiness workbook I picked up at Sam's and eventually handwriting from the same place, and lots of read aloud books from the library.

 

Each lesson took no more than 10 minutes and read alouds were for bed time. To start we had two sessions -one in the morning and one in the afternoon. We did reading lessons in the morning then math in the afternoon. Since reading both lessons included a wee bit of handwriting I didn't pick up formal handwriting lessons until mid year.

 

I will say this, I did notice that she was resistant to learning to read when we first started out. It was quite obvious that she wasn't getting it at all. So I ditched reading lessons for about 6 weeks. When I picked it back up again she was ready and things clicked. By Christmas she was able to put the letters on the side of the building together and know we were at Sears.

 

All this to say be consistent. Understand that sitting for school is a learned behavior. Listen to your kiddo's signals about the level of work. And keep formal sit down school as short as possible to start. Work up to sitting and doing seat work by the end of the school year. A general rule is one hour of seat work per grade level. So less than an hour is appropriate for a K'er.

 

Oh, and also some kids need to wiggle, do jumping jacks, spin in circles, play with pencils, roll cars across the table while listening to lessons. Math facts can be learned while running in place. I had dd color the appropriate coloring page when we started SOTW. I'd read, she'd color. This was up until the end of 4th grade.

[tinkhs]

I'm going to disagree with the majority. Five is young and a lot of five year olds (especially boys) just might not be ready for any sort of sit-down academic kind of work.

 

Not that you would want to follow it exactly but you still might want to read "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores just for a little perspective.

 

K didn't used to be academic back when we were in school. 1st Grade used to be time enough for that. Now K is more academic to "prepare" kids for 1st, and pre-k is more academic to "prepare" kids for K- me, I'm more about letting little kids just be little kids, keeping things very hands-on and informal and, yes, fun. There's nothing wrong with fun when you're five. There's time enough for the "school doesn't have to be fun and school has to happen!" attitude throughout their whole lives. It doesn't have to happen at 5. In many places, K isn't even mandatory. Where I live, compulsory school age doesn't even start until kids are 8.

 

Which is just to say, if he's not ready, not interested, beginning to "hate school," and you don't want that attitude to carry on and/or become really ingrained in him, I personally think it's fine to take a step (or two) back, relax, look for something more interest-led and fun, give it another six months or a year and then try again if you want to with your K plans. Even informally, he'll still learn lots. How can he not? Kids learn from the world around them all the time, even when you're not trying.

 

Just for fun, here's something I wrote about my son, called "A Kindergarten Dropout"....

 

http://nancextoo.livejournal.com/190076.html

 

But the truth is- it doesn't matter what any of us say. What do YOUR instincts tell YOU about YOUR child? Good luck, whatever you decide!

 

:iagree: He's just 5.

[RahRah]

by writing I mean handwriting- learning to form letters and numbers. He really enjoys it most days because we have a little rhyme or story that goes with each one to help him remember how to form it (for example the number 7 is: "across the sky, down from heaven, that's the way to make a seven") and he has even made up his own stories and rhymes for a few letters. Sometimes it's sitting at the table doing the workbook (which he actually loves), sometimes I ask him what word he'd like to write and I write it for him, then he copies it, other times we sit on the couch with a dry erase lapboard and he writes and has fun erasing.

 

A just turned five boy may or may not enjoy writing all the time and his fine motor skills for writing are likely still emerging - that said, consistency is good and formation of letters is important. I'd suggest rather than doing writing on paper, you have him work on the white board with lots of colorful markers, write letters with his finger on a baking pan with sand, rice or other grainy type substance, pull out the crayons and have him color and write a word from the picture (ie. if he's coloring a picture with a pig, write pig yourself, then have him copy it next to your word).

 

With the math I could be more creative I think. Some days he's happy to use the manipulatives and practice what we saw in the video, other days he wants nothing to do with it, but I have no other ideas to substitute if he's having an off day. Maybe I need to do some searching to find more games etc. We do counting and adding on our fingers and occasionally he'll use the abacus if the number is bigger than 10. We put up the date on our calendar every day and count up to that number, sometimes skip counting.

 

With math, honestly, I'd skip the video approach unless he really loves them - math is so around us everyday, all day, that making it specific to do each day is maybe too much for a just fiver - stealthy math is the approach I took with DS.....you're already doing that with the stairs, abacus, and adding on fingers (do some subtraction too).....math games you can add to your mix - counting cars when you're out and about, counting specific color cars when you're out and about, lining up his cars and counting them, then counting them backward, having him find x-number of red cars among his hot wheels while he's playing, building lego walls so many bricks high, etc. - make play learning without it being obvious you're doing math. When I realized my DS was ahead of the game for math, I started doing more, but NONE of it was book work - it was almost all oral or on the white board and was slowly introducing concepts and practicing math facts gently.

 

Phonics is the most difficult one- I KNOW he's ready for it, and sometimes he doesn't make a fuss at all. We usually cuddle on the couch while we do it. But some days he just throws himself back and sort of melts off the couch saying he doesn't want to do it. He enjoys competition and so I've tried to make it into a game where I write the word on the lapboard and tell him that he will NEVER be able to read that word because it's just too tricky. Then he will read it and I'll act all surprised and disappointed, as though he had won the game and I lost. Many times he gets a kick out of this, but like I said, there are days when he doesn't. Maybe I need to do some digging in this area too and find other activities that I could substitute for when he doesn't feel able to sit on the couch.

 

At this age, it's really about learning the letter sounds....if he knows his letters at this point, work on sounds with rhymes - DS and I would have little phrases we'd say about the letters, like d-d-d daddio, d is D.....as we'd go along in our day, sometimes I'd ask, hey, what's the first sound in 'mat'.....as if I'd forgotten.....he's say mmm.....and I'd say 'mmmm, what letter is that again?' and he's say M. If you're doing a phonics program, do it the days he'll cooperate and enjoy it, days he's a bit resistant, set it aside and do something else orally that's phonics related, or just read him some books.

 

 

we talk about these things and he asks me questions or makes observations all day long, so learning is very much a natural part of our lives, but I had really wanted to get into the habit of having a specific time set aside for "school".

 

You'll slowly get there - heck you can already be there, just with a change in how you do the time.....like instead of sitting on the couch with the phonincs work, during that period say, hey, let's read a story, you pick the book and let him choose the story.....then as you're moving along, play some math games or do something that's active play that's also using math or science (legos, building car ramps, stacking things, etc.). School doesn't have to look like school!