k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 How do/did you do it? I'm a very sentimental person by nature. I want one more DC, DH does not. After one final discussion, I am honoring his wishes and I suppose we are done (if I have to be....sigh). I have so much to get rid of. We really need the money, so I'd like to sell. I know the longer I wait, the more value it loses. We need the space. All reasons to do it sooner rather than later. That being said....I feel sick about it. Literally. I don't know how to emotionally detatch. The thought of watching someone walk away with MY baby's things about kills me - regardless of whether I gave it to them, sold it to them, etc. How do you people do this???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I had a hard time too, but a good friend came and helped me. :) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in GA Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I struggle with this too. I realized that it felt like I was having disdain for the memories and times they were little and using those things, if I gave them away. I had to tell myself that those two things (having disdain, and giving things away) were not equal. I'm fortunate in that I'm on a local e-mail list called "Frugal club" where people often post things to give away (or sometimes sell for cheap.) I usually give away things I'm done with. I'm too lazy to have a garage sale ... and really, if I'm done with something, and someone else could truly enjoy ... well, sure, they can have it! So a lot of times families come to the house to pick things. I think my kids enjoy actually seeing the kid it's going to. It makes me feel good too, knowing it will be "living on." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyB Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 It is really hard for me to let go of all the kids' things. I decided to sell most of it because we need the money. I have asked my mom and my husband to run the yard sale for me because I would end up keeping half the stuff. I have until spring to mentally prepare! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 It is really hard for me to let go of all the kids' things. I decided to sell most of it because we need the money. I have asked my mom and my husband to run the yard sale for me because I would end up keeping half the stuff. I have until spring to mentally prepare! I may have to do that. I just don't know if I can watch it all "walk" away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry in OH Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Do it in stages. Make three categories (1) Don't want to keep - worn out, don't like, no attachment, easy to replace. (2) Not sure. (3) Strong attachment, handmade, or heirloom. Get rid of everything in category 1. After a few months, go through 2 and 3 again. Repeat until you are down to the items you truly cherish. It actually gets easier as your children get older. If your husband would change his mind about more children, you will manage to reacquire every item you truly need and quite a bit that you don't. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Pick one special thing to keep and let the rest go. The way I picked what the one thing was is that I went through it all, and when I found something that made me cry hysterically I kept it. No, I'm not kidding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 The worst part is that I know logically it's just "stuff". I know the memories are in my heart. I just can't shut off the emotions. I have no logical reason for it. I'm fine with getting rid of it in concept, but as soon as I see the clothes and think about them actually going away for good, I am suddenly not sure I can go through with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Keep one box. Remind yourself that you love your babies, not their things.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 Remind yourself that you love your babies, not their things.:grouphug: That totally made me cry. This is NOT supposed to be this hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Do it in stages. Make three categories (1) Don't want to keep - worn out, don't like, no attachment, easy to replace. (2) Not sure. (3) Strong attachment, handmade, or heirloom. Get rid of everything in category 1. After a few months, go through 2 and 3 again. Repeat until you are down to the items you truly cherish. It actually gets easier as your children get older. If your husband would change his mind about more children, you will manage to reacquire every item you truly need and quite a bit that you don't. ;) :iagree: Plus, if it helps, I found that by baby #4, I was *much* more interested in his clothes being soft than cute, so it wouldn't have mattered if I'd saved my oldest ds's stuff for him anyway. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 How do/did you do it? I'm a very sentimental person by nature. I want one more DC, DH does not. After one final discussion, I am honoring his wishes and I suppose we are done (if I have to be....sigh). I have so much to get rid of. We really need the money, so I'd like to sell. I know the longer I wait, the more value it loses. We need the space. All reasons to do it sooner rather than later. That being said....I feel sick about it. Literally. I don't know how to emotionally detatch. The thought of watching someone walk away with MY baby's things about kills me - regardless of whether I gave it to them, sold it to them, etc. How do you people do this???? I am happy to report that once they are out of sight it was fairly painless. I too was physically ill everytime I had to get rid of ds's baby/toddler clothes. Once I actually got them gone it was not so bad. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 You don't have to do this. If it hurts, wait some. Box it up, put it in the rafters, and look at it again a year from now. After a while the hormones do die down. Before that, there is really no reason not to honor them. Also, it is really nice to have a few things to pass along to your children, along with stories about them. Once you whittle this down to a 'few things' you'll be all set. Don't feel like you have to get rid of everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I don't know. I still have our sling in the hall chest because I cannot bear to get rid of it. My baby is 6 and hasn't been carried in the sling for 4 years. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I saved a small box of extra sentimental items for each boy. The other stuff, we passed along as we were able, sold it at garage sales, etc. The thing that tore me up the most when I got rid of it??? Baby girl scrapbook stickers that I had bought "just in case" with my last pregnancy. I cried for an entire afternoon and totally shut down while cleaning out a closet and purging the stickers I was never going to use. My youngest was 5 at the time. So, not much help, I'm afraid, but can empathize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 I just made a list of big items I could sell on CL if I can convince myself. I'm not even sure it's complete. I totalled up the likely profits to try and encourage myself. $365! Only sort of helps though, LOL. I'm not sure it's enough to make me do it.....yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 We had to get rid of a lot of baby stuff when we moved almost 2 years ago. It was hard, but what helped me was giving stuff to friends who I knew would use and appreciate it. I gave stuff to 4-5 different families. I had saved nearly everything. Dd was 6 and ds was almost 2, so he was just finishing up with baby stuff. I filled one friend's car one day with all kinds of stuff. She and her husband didn't make a lot and I knew it was a great blessing to them. I enjoyed seeing pictures of her dd wearing my dd's dresses on FB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Take pictures of the items and scrapbook them. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I kept a few things (we're not done with kids, but we needed the space, plus by the time we had another the stuff would be like 7 or more years old). I parted with the exersaucer, the bouncy seat, the booster chair, the high chair.....but for some reason I couldn't seem to part with the little swing. It rocked my babies to sleep sometimes. So I kept it. It's in the attic. I kept a couple of my favorite outfits. I still some of the toys packed away. I sold the crib, the floor mat, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I have the last of our cloth diapers, and a friend who will happily love them and use them with her son. I just need to mail them off. But I keep peeking at them in the linen closet, not wanting to part with them, but yet knowing I have no current use for them, and am doubting I will have a future use for them... I don't know that I am helping... but you are not alone. I did warn my friend that I am emotionally attached to these diapers (silly, I know!), and while I want to mail them to her, it may take be a couple weeks to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 (edited) How do/did you do it? I'm a very sentimental person by nature. I want one more DC, DH does not. After one final discussion, I am honoring his wishes and I suppose we are done (if I have to be....sigh). I have so much to get rid of. We really need the money, so I'd like to sell. I know the longer I wait, the more value it loses. We need the space. All reasons to do it sooner rather than later. That being said....I feel sick about it. Literally. I don't know how to emotionally detatch. The thought of watching someone walk away with MY baby's things about kills me - regardless of whether I gave it to them, sold it to them, etc. How do you people do this???? I had a hard time with this, too. Since I like to sew, one thing I did to preserve clothes (many of them were only worn a few times) was buy three little hatboxes, one for each child. Over the years, if they've had special outfits or something particularly cute, I would cut a square out of it, or any appliques, or maybe a pocket, and put it in their hatbox--to be later made into a quilt once they leave home. I've also cut up a few of my dresses and my husband's jeans to add to their boxes. That helped me get rid of things that I had no real use for. I did keep and preserve their dedication outfits, the first pair of shoes, and whatever they wore home from the hospital. Also, as they get older, I have made a habit of donating their clothes that they outgrow. I feel better about doing that than selling them, because I think that someone else who really needs it is going to get some use out of the clothing. For papers - I keep a small plastic box for each child and add to it through the year. Every summer, I go through the box and take out the best examples of their work, art, writing or otherwise, and add it to their keepsake boxes for scrapbooks. (Again, to be an empty nest project.) All other sentimental items, like stuffed animals or gifts, I leave up to them whether or not they want to keep them. Think of it this way--at the end of 18 years, wouldn't you like to have a small collection of the things your children really loved? If you let them keep the things they love and are relaxed about the rest, you'll have that special little collection of things once they're grown. The only exception would be a few things that I think they might enjoy having later in life: * Outfits that an Indian friend had custom made for them * My son's trains and tracks, which I've boxed up for when he has a little boy (or girl) * Their very first stuffed animals. * Some special little toys and a couple of tea sets that were gifts from missionaries. It helped me along the way to remember that I'm ultimately saving these things for my children--not for myself. I'll die before they do, and all these things will become theirs at least by that point, if not long before. So think in terms of what they will need, want and enjoy. I always throw out things that are: * broken/torn * stained * otherwise unusable Edited February 22, 2011 by Abigail4476 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tulip19 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I kept a few outfits from each child, as well as some toys and books I truly thought I could use with grandchildren. It is hard to let the other stuff go, but perhaps watching a few episoded of one of those "horders" shows would help... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 TBH, I waited a long time. If I were you, I wouldn't rush it. It's a lot cheaper to hold on to some baby gear than it is to have another baby, lol. I found it much more possible to let go of things to good friends than to sell or donate. So, I mostly gave things to friends who were having babies. I never donated any baby stuff -- too precious. I never sold any -- too priceless. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I just gave my crib to a woman in church having her 2nd baby, close to the 1st. I cried when they packed it into the back of their car. What pushes me on is the idea that someone can use it and I [for whatever reason] cannot. I hate the idea of having a bunch of things someone else may need and I am holding onto stuff I may never use again. The way I figure it, if I get pregnant and carry a baby to term again, I am [or someone for me] throwing myself the largest baby shower known to man and expect a lot of presents. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I took photos of the outfits. I kept a few small sentimental items that will store well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 The way I figure it, if I get pregnant and carry a baby to term again, I am [or someone for me] throwing myself the largest baby shower known to man and expect a lot of presents. :tongue_smilie: I like this :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I know exactly what you're going through. My DH had a vasectomy about 6 months ago. I CANNOT sell - I just need to give away, as nice as the money would be. I'm finding it much easier just to load it up and give it away. Most charities will give you receipts to deduct on your taxes. It also feels good to give the stuff to people who you know that will really appreciate it. Maybe it might be good to just sell your biggest ticket items. I'm going to keep at most one plastic bin of stuff per kid in total. Taking pictures is a good idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5KidzRUs Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Kristen, Keep the clothes and make (or have someone make) a quilt from them. I have a box of clothes that have memories attached to them and that is what I will do ... and then burden my children with the quilts as gifts :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I have an entire ROOM full of stuff. My sister passes on everything she is done with and I can pick or chose what I want to keep/use and the rest we go through together and price to sell (much more bearable when working with someone). After our last was born I was pretty sure we were done and so we started moving out the baby stuff I had been holding on to. Part of my logic was that when 4 and 5 arrived I had so much stuff saved that I couldn't find anything when I actually needed it. I usually went and bought more because it was easier than sorting through 20+ large tubs of stuff. So keeping that in mind also helped with letting go. The finally thing has that has really helped: My mom saved her favorite clothes from when we were little. She has this pea green dress made from polyester that she embroidered Humpty Dumpty on. It was one of her favorite things that all 3 of her girls wore and she was very excited to pass it on for her grandkids to wear. Now neither my sister or me is willing to actually put in on our children but we save it because then we don't have to break my mom's heart and tell her we threw it away. So we keep it in the boxes of stuff that we are working on getting ready to sell. Every now and then it resurfaces and we laugh all over again at how truly hideous the dress is. Since we don't want our children doing that to us, it makes it easier to get rid of extra stuff no matter how cute we think it is now. Styles change and there is no guarantee anything we save now we still be "cute" in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 I was just talking to DH....trying to identify where my hang up lies, so maybe I could come up with a solution. I think I have 2 things at play. The first of which is just the idea that *my* baby was the last one to wear/use said item and I just want to hold onto that. Like I could just preserve that moment by holding onto the clothes. It's not specific memories...just the whole idea. The second issue, which is a huge part of it, is the idea that this stuff is not replaceable. I have a lot of name brand, really high quality clothing from DS that was handed down to me. I keep thinking that *if* something were to happen and we were to have another, there is no way I could afford to replace all that clothing with the same type of thing. Or, I have some REALLY cute outfits that I LOVED of DD's that I know I wouldn't be able to find again (they were bought 3-4yr ago). If I sell them, and we DID happen to have another, I can't replace that outfit. So, I guess, that goes back to not accepting the idea that we are done. It's the "what if". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I made my husband do it. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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