No Easy Decision

[Homemaker]

ANyone watch this on MTV? I read an article about it in the paper today, so I just got online and watched.

 

It is about a "16 and pregnant" teen mom getting pregnant again and then getting an abortion. Wow, it is pretty disturbing. MTV protrayed it as she was doing a "heroic" type act. "For her daughter", "For the best of everyone".. At the end they have two other girls to talk to Dr. Drew about being proud about their decision.

 

I feel really sorry for the girl who had it done, I think she is going to struggle about it for the rest of her life.

Edited January 9, 2011 by Homemaker
Spelling errors

[Sophia]

I saw it.

I think if that girl had one person in her life tell her not to do it, she would have had the baby.

She did not seem very happy about her decision. The fact that she and her boyfriend had to keep reminding each other "don't think about ten fingers and ten toes"...ugh...so sad.

[DawnM]

I have so much to say about this. Having worked at a public high school as a school counselor I have had to deal with my share of teen pregnancy issues....

 

But I really don't want to get into it right now.....and my discussion will be far too deep in CC.....

 

I find it all so sad for everyone involved.

 

Dawn

[parias1126]

I saw this the first airing. It really upset me how they made her decision seem so heroic as well. It bothered me for days. First off, I understand getting pregnant the first time at 16 because things happen. But to let it happen again, is crazy. If she couldn't afford another baby then she shouldn't have had sex until after getting on birth control. Its not rocket science. She went on and on about how she was doing the right thing because she didn't was her current dd to sacrifice for the new baby! Shouldn't she had thought about that before??:confused:

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I thought it showed insight into how some young people see their options. Whether accurate or not, it is very interesting to see/hear how the minds of some young people think.

 

I also found it curious that she didn't seem to completely understand how her Depo-shot worked. Things that seem like common knowledge to some really are not to others.

 

I'm surprised that it has taken so long for MTV to put on a program where a teen has made this choice. There's been so many "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" shows.

 

I'm not sure MTV was portraying her as heroic. I think they documented her thought process and her frame of mind. I think she had to make herself feel heroic in order to go through with it, because she obviously didn't really want to.

 

It was very interesting.

[LauraGB]

I think more than anything, I'm disturbed that this poor girl and that tremendous decision is television show fare; that networks are okay with exploiting her and that her family obviously supports it, too. That alone seems to trivialize the whole already sad and difficult ordeal, imo. I'm horrified by all the "reality" shows that sensationalize teens and big, life altering situations.

[Gratia271]

I think more than anything, I'm disturbed that this poor girl and that tremendous decision is television show fare; that networks are okay with exploiting her and that her family obviously supports it, too. That alone seems to trivialize the whole already sad and difficult ordeal, imo. I'm horrified by all the "reality" shows that sensationalize teens and big, life altering situations.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[wapiti]

I didn't see the show (and wouldn't even if it turned on right in front of me) but could it be that the presence of the reality show filming pressured her to make this choice?

[Mejane]

I think more than anything, I'm disturbed that this poor girl and that tremendous decision is television show fare; that networks are okay with exploiting her and that her family obviously supports it, too. That alone seems to trivialize the whole already sad and difficult ordeal, imo. I'm horrified by all the "reality" shows that sensationalize teens and big, life altering situations.

 

 

This.

[Night Elf]

I didn't like the premise of the show so I never watched it. A couple of weeks ago, my dd18 said all her friends watch it and they've all agreed it's a great form of birth control. None of them want to be in that position. They're all affected by the show, knowing that stuff really does happen. I was surprised they had actually talked about it. So not all girls will watch this and see teen pregnancy/motherhood glorified.

[parias1126]

I didn't like the premise of the show so I never watched it. A couple of weeks ago, my dd18 said all her friends watch it and they've all agreed it's a great form of birth control. None of them want to be in that position. They're all affected by the show, knowing that stuff really does happen. I was surprised they had actually talked about it. So not all girls will watch this and see teen pregnancy/motherhood glorified.

 

I think it would all depend on the teen. My DD17 has watched it since it aired. Even seeing all the struggles, she still got pregnant.

[LauraGB]

I think it would all depend on the teen. My DD17 has watched it since it aired. Even seeing all the struggles, she still got pregnant.

 

And that's why I think these shows are pointless - they eventually contribute to the desensitization of an entire generation, and are ultimately all about ratings at the end of the day.

 

(I'm not suggesting your dd is "desensitized", btw. My goodness, there are so many teens who are/have been pregnant - certainly not the end of the world or anything. I'm just saying that...could you imagine selling her off to a television network to film her conflicted and frightened and excited feelings right now?)

[Night Elf]

I think it would all depend on the teen. My DD17 has watched it since it aired. Even seeing all the struggles, she still got pregnant.

 

And that's why I said "not all girls".

[Night Elf]

I'm just saying that...could you imagine selling her off to a television network to film her conflicted and frightened and excited feelings right now?)

 

Me? No way. No one could pay me any amount of money to be on any reality show. Ever.

[parias1126]

And that's why I think these shows are pointless - they eventually contribute to the desensitization of an entire generation, and are ultimately all about ratings at the end of the day.

 

(I'm not suggesting your dd is "desensitized", btw. My goodness, there are so many teens who are/have been pregnant - certainly not the end of the world or anything. I'm just saying that...could you imagine selling her off to a television network to film her conflicted and frightened and excited feelings right now?)

 

She is going through so much right now emotionally that I couldn't even imagine. I would never let her publically air all the emotion, frustration, and everything else she is going through being pregnant at such a young age. She developed Toxemia and is now on blood pressure medication. She has severe mood changes due to the highs and lows of her blood pressure issues. I have spent 2 nights already at labor and delivery in the last 4 days. The other night she blacked out and I had the paramedics here. She is 24 weeks and the morning sickness is still going strong.

 

When they air the 16 and pregnant shows it just seems to me that these girls have the easiest pregnancies which is not always the case as a very young pregnant mother. Their bodies are just not done developing yet. I was 18 and pregnant and it was much harder then they air on MTV. I had all the same complications as my DD and delivered at 28 weeks. I was so naive at that age I thought I would deliver a baby and get to bring her home with me. I was shocked when I found out I wouldn't get to bring her home. I spent hour after hour, day after day, for 6 weeks in a hospital by a incubator praying she was going to be okay.

 

The new previews for Teen Mom 2 show one of the girls going through finding out there is something medically wrong with one of her twin babies. They actually show all the emotion and struggles. I am glad they are going to finally show that life is not always perfect.

 

I will say that my DD has said, "I will never do this again!" I think if she would had known the reality, she would had used more effective birth control. MTV classifies this as reality..... Then show us the reality!

[OregonNative]

I haven't seen it, but how nauseating!!:ack2: How could it be the best for everyone? So many ppl these days feel that babies are an inconvenience and that all of their dreams will be lost. Really? Just goes to show what a selfish "me" society we live in! 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. the child is unwanted or inconvenient).

 

How many teens (or for that matter adult women), know what happens during an abortion? Do they know this?

 

"The fetus, in many cases, dies just as a human adult or child would: It bleeds to death as it is torn from limb from limb. The fetus can be alive at the beginning of the dismemberment process and can survive for a time while its limbs are being torn off. Dr. Carhart agreed that “[w]hen you pull out a piece of the fetus, let’s say, an arm or a leg and remove that, at the time just prior to removal of the portion of the fetus…the fetus [is] alive.†Dr. Carhart has observed fetal heartbeat via ultrasound with “extensive parts of the fetus removed,†and testified that mere dismemberment of a limb does not always cause death because he knows of a physician who removed the arm of a fetus only to have the fetus go on to be born “as a living child with one arm.â€

 

Two of the most powerful articles I have ever read on abortion are by JENNIFER FULWILER (you will find the snippet above in Abortion and Holocaust Comparisons).

How would you know?

 

Abortion and Holocaust comparison

Edited January 10, 2011 by OregonNative

[MrsMe]

I don't watch tv and I'm continually reminded why.

[kwickimom]

I haven't seen it, but how nauseating!!:ack2: How could it be the best for everyone? So many ppl these days feel that babies are an inconvenience and that all of their dreams will be lost. Really? Just goes to show what a selfish "me" society we live in!93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. the child is unwanted or inconvenient).

 

:iagree: I feel everyone is taking less and less responsibility for their actions , not just with this situation, but with everything. There is always a cop out, and its just ACCEPTED.

 

IF you have sex, you could have a baby...so use birth control or abstain.....but WAIT, if you have sex anyways because you want to and dont use the birth control, then you can give your baby away or have an abortion, and these are GREAT options. Then people are all shocked when teen pregnancy stats are through the roof. :mad: Well, duh

 

 

ohhh how i could go on and on.

[goldberry]

Heroic? Proud? What possible action in this situation could those words apply to?

 

I do think it takes courage and unselfishness for a mom who cannot take care of a child to be willing to bear their child and then give them up for adoption, so they can have a chance at a better life. Or for a mom who didn't mean to get pregnant to buckle down, grow up, and do everything they can to be a good mom to their baby. Neither mom may be proud of how they got in those situations, but they can be proud they tried to do the right thing.

[Jennifer3141]

I think more than anything, I'm disturbed that this poor girl and that tremendous decision is television show fare; that networks are okay with exploiting her and that her family obviously supports it, too. That alone seems to trivialize the whole already sad and difficult ordeal, imo. I'm horrified by all the "reality" shows that sensationalize teens and big, life altering situations.

 

I'm pro-choice and I find myself nodding along with you. I'm also so glad we only use Netflix for "TV." We seem to be missing a lot of the complete flotsam they are airing right now.

 

What are this girl's parents thinking??

 

I wish we could sit down as a nation and decide that these stupid shows need to go. This one and the "reality" housewives shows need to just be ignored.

[astrid]

I think more than anything, I'm disturbed that this poor girl and that tremendous decision is television show fare; that networks are okay with exploiting her and that her family obviously supports it, too. That alone seems to trivialize the whole already sad and difficult ordeal, imo. I'm horrified by all the "reality" shows that sensationalize teens and big, life altering situations.

 

I could not agree more. Sick.

 

astrid

[myfunnybunch]

I also found it curious that she didn't seem to completely understand how her Depo-shot worked. Things that seem like common knowledge to some really are not to others.

 

I worked with teen moms for a while. You'd be surprised how common it is for teens to really truly not understand birth control, how it works, how easy it is to get pregnant. And it's baffling to see how easy it is for them to believe weird illogical myths....it's like some teens haven't yet completely grown out of the magical thinking stage.

 

Cat

[akmommy]

I think more than anything, I'm disturbed that this poor girl and that tremendous decision is television show fare; that networks are okay with exploiting her and that her family obviously supports it, too. That alone seems to trivialize the whole already sad and difficult ordeal, imo. I'm horrified by all the "reality" shows that sensationalize teens and big, life altering situations.

 

:iagree: this just about sums up my feelings on the matter.

[Scarlett]

I worked with teen moms for a while. You'd be surprised how common it is for teens to really truly not understand birth control, how it works, how easy it is to get pregnant. And it's baffling to see how easy it is for them to believe weird illogical myths....it's like some teens haven't yet completely grown out of the magical thinking stage. Cat

 

EXACTLY! So well said. And so true because bottom line, teens aren't grown up yet. Their brains aren't fully matured until they are about 25....so they shouldn't be making grown up decisions (like having sex) when they are still teens.

[parias1126]

EXACTLY! So well said. And so true because bottom line, teens aren't grown up yet. Their brains aren't fully matured until they are about 25....so they shouldn't be making grown up decisions (like having sex) when they are still teens.

 

They shouldn't be, no. But, reality is that most do.

[Heather in Neverland]

I think more than anything, I'm disturbed that this poor girl and that tremendous decision is television show fare; that networks are okay with exploiting her and that her family obviously supports it, too. That alone seems to trivialize the whole already sad and difficult ordeal, imo. I'm horrified by all the "reality" shows that sensationalize teens and big, life altering situations.

 

I am so glad we don't have cable. Just atrocious.

[Scarlett]

They shouldn't be, no. But, reality is that most do.

 

So are you saying we should just throw our hands up and give up? I think it is an insult to our teens to assume they can't or won't control themselves. Maybe we should focus on giving them the tools to avoid the situations that lead to pre-marital sex.

[myfunnybunch]

So are you saying we should just throw our hands up and give up? I think it is an insult to our teens to assume they can't or won't control themselves. Maybe we should focus on giving them the tools to avoid the situations that lead to pre-marital sex.

 

I don't think anyone believes we should throw up our hands.

 

To excuse teens simply because they are teens does them a disservice; to blame them for thinking like teens does them a disservice as well. It's wisest, IMO, to give teens tools, education and boundaries to help them avoid tempting situations AND to acknowledge the reality that there are teens out there who aren't given the tools or ignore them or don't understand them or just plain choose to have sex anyway.

 

Cat

[Scarlett]

I don't think anyone believes we should throw up our hands.

 

To excuse teens simply because they are teens does them a disservice; to blame them for thinking like teens does them a disservice as well. It's wisest, IMO, to give teens tools, education and boundaries to help them avoid tempting situations AND to acknowledge the reality that there are teens out there who aren't given the tools or ignore them or don't understand them or just plain choose to have sex anyway.

 

Cat

 

Yes. That I can agree with.

[parias1126]

So are you saying we should just throw our hands up and give up? I think it is an insult to our teens to assume they can't or won't control themselves. Maybe we should focus on giving them the tools to avoid the situations that lead to pre-marital sex.

 

I didn't say anything about throwing our hands up and just giving up. I am saying though that my teen had all the books, resources, and anything else she could need as well as a very supportive mom if she did decide she wanted to have sex and needed birth control. We have a very close relationship and even still, things happened.

 

We can't all live in a closet and just assume that just because we do everything in our power to give our teens what we need, have the talk, throw birth control in their faces, etc. that they will do the right thing in the end. It just doesn't always happpen that way.

[WarriorMama]

I think more than anything, I'm disturbed that this poor girl and that tremendous decision is television show fare; that networks are okay with exploiting her and that her family obviously supports it, too. That alone seems to trivialize the whole already sad and difficult ordeal, imo. I'm horrified by all the "reality" shows that sensationalize teens and big, life altering situations.

 

Yes. This exactly.

[Scarlett]

I didn't say anything about throwing our hands up and just giving up. I am saying though that my teen had all the books, resources, and anything else she could need as well as a very supportive mom if she did decide she wanted to have sex and needed birth control. We have a very close relationship and even still, things happened.

 

We can't all live in a closet and just assume that just because we do everything in our power to give our teens what we need, have the talk, throw birth control in their faces, etc. that they will do the right thing in the end. It just doesn't always happpen that way.

 

I do realize that some teens are so rebellious that they will actually lie about their whereabouts and who they are with and even sneak out in the middle of the night. I do realize that if a teen (or anyone) is determined to do wrong they really can't be stopped. However, I think the vast majority of girls getting pregnant are doing so while 'dating' boyfriends and being allowed to be in situations where their hormones take over.

 

I do not know your story Parias nor am I picking on you or your daughter. I certainly do not live in a closet and I have done my share of wrong things. I take responsibility for my actions and at the same time I am thankful my mom was as strict as she was. I wish she had been even more strict.

[Stacy in NJ]

Was this topic ever brought up?

 

According to the recent census, 41% of pregnancies in NYC end in abortion. And yet, there are so few children available for adoption. How incredibly sad.

 

ANyone watch this on MTV? I read an article about it in the paper today, so I just got online and watched.

 

It is about a "16 and pregnant" teen mom getting pregnant again and then getting an abortion. Wow, it is pretty disturbing. MTV protrayed it as she was doing a "heroic" type act. "For her daughter", "For the best of everyone".. At the end they have two other girls to talk to Dr. Drew about being proud about their decision.

 

I feel really sorry for the girl who had it done, I think she is going to struggle about it for the rest of her life.

[Sophia]

Was this topic ever brought up?

 

According to the recent census, 41% of pregnancies in NYC end in abortion. And yet, there are so few children available for adoption. How incredibly sad.

 

She refused to consider adoption.

She said once she felt the baby move she would fall in love and have to keep it.

[Homemaker]

She refused to consider adoption.

She said once she felt the baby move she would fall in love and have to keep it.

 

I couldn't believe it when she said that, how distorted is her way of thinking that she chooses killing the baby over adoption because "she would fall in love with it."

 

That whole show was distrubing to watch and especially the interviews afterwards when that one girl claimed it was a "parenting decision" to abort it.

[simka2]

I didn't say anything about throwing our hands up and just giving up. I am saying though that my teen had all the books, resources, and anything else she could need as well as a very supportive mom if she did decide she wanted to have sex and needed birth control. We have a very close relationship and even still, things happened.

 

We can't all live in a closet and just assume that just because we do everything in our power to give our teens what we need, have the talk, throw birth control in their faces, etc. that they will do the right thing in the end. It just doesn't always happpen that way.

 

 

Thanks for posting this!!!! As a pastor's wife I have been amazed at the misconception that this only happens to kids who are...1. in bad family enviroments, 2. do not have resources, 3. are rebellious.

 

I have known many great families rocked by an unexpected miracle!!! My heart goes out to you and your dd., and may you have great enjoyment in your grandbaby ;).

[edithcrawley]

Was this topic ever brought up?

 

According to the recent census, 41% of pregnancies in NYC end in abortion. And yet, there are so few children available for adoption. How incredibly sad.

 

 

Actually, there are hundreds and thousands of children available for adoption. According to http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/statistics/adoption.cfm about 120,000 adoptions took place in 2000-2001. According to http://www.adoptuskids.org/ 115,000 kids are waiting in foster homes to be adopted. But most of these kids will never be adopted. This is for several reasons 1. Babies are the easiest to find homes for. 2. If a child has any mental or physical difficulties, the chances of them being adopted drops significantly. 3. If the child is not Caucasian, the chances of them being adopted also drops significantly. 4. Older children and teens have the hardest time being adopted.

 

 

I don't think we should judge any woman on her choice of how she deals with her pregnancy. It is her body, not ours.

[Sophia]

I don't think we should judge any woman on her choice of how she deals with her pregnancy. It is her body, not ours.

 

I wonder if you saw the show being discussed?

This poor girl (whom I have a great deal of compassion for) made many remarks that indicate she didn't really believe she did the right thing.

She pointed at her daughter and told her husband (?) she knew that's what she had destroyed.

No one in her support system was able to help her thoroughly think through her decision.

 

She will regret her decision someday, if she hasn't already, and I find that heartbreaking.

[edithcrawley]

I wonder if you saw the show being discussed?

This poor girl (whom I have a great deal of compassion for) made many remarks that indicate she didn't really believe she did the right thing.

She pointed at her daughter and told her husband (?) she knew that's what she had destroyed.

No one in her support system was able to help her thoroughly think through her decision.

 

She will regret her decision someday, if she hasn't already, and I find that heartbreaking.

 

No I haven't seen it yet as I don't have cable. (I might try looking the episode up on the internet though) That sentence does not specifically relate to her, but to any woman having to make pregnancy decisions.

[Mejane]

I couldn't believe it when she said that, how distorted is her way of thinking that she chooses killing the baby over adoption because "she would fall in love with it."

 

 

Well, that's one way of looking at it.

[Sophia]

That sentence does not specifically relate to her, but to any woman having to make pregnancy decisions.

 

Therein lies the tragedy.

Everyone close to this girl was so busy telling her "We respect whatever you choose" that no one was able to really help her think about what she was choosing.

[Scarlett]

She refused to consider adoption.

She said once she felt the baby move she would fall in love and have to keep it.

 

Ugh. Absolutely unbelievable how many people actually feel this way.

 

I worked with a girl many many years ago who was pregnant for the 5th time. She was about to have her 4th abortion...and she did indeed go through with it...even though many of us begged and pleaded with her to let her child be adopted. She said, 'oh I could never handle knowing a child of mine was being raised by someone else.' That comment haunts me to this day.

[Mama Geek]

I'm pro-choice and I find myself nodding along with you. I'm also so glad we only use Netflix for "TV." We seem to be missing a lot of the complete flotsam they are airing right now.

 

What are this girl's parents thinking??

 

I wish we could sit down as a nation and decide that these stupid shows need to go. This one and the "reality" housewives shows need to just be ignored.

 

Please tell me you are not suggesting our government censoring this. I hope that you mean that as a society we quit watching this and quit buying from the advertisers.

 

Yes it sounds like a pretty bad show, I just don't want to encourage anymore gov't interference in life.

[parias1126]

I do realize that some teens are so rebellious that they will actually lie about their whereabouts and who they are with and even sneak out in the middle of the night. I do realize that if a teen (or anyone) is determined to do wrong they really can't be stopped. However, I think the vast majority of girls getting pregnant are doing so while 'dating' boyfriends and being allowed to be in situations where their hormones take over.

 

I do not know your story Parias nor am I picking on you or your daughter. I certainly do not live in a closet and I have done my share of wrong things. I take responsibility for my actions and at the same time I am thankful my mom was as strict as she was. I wish she had been even more strict.

 

I am actually pretty strict with my DD. She was allowed to see her boyfriend one weekend day (Saturday). I would call her several times a day while she was out. She also saw him 2 hours per week on Wednesday nights while I sat right there next to them the entire time!

 

While I don't feel the need to justify any of my parenting skills to you, I feel that you just. Don't. Get. It! We can not keep our children shackled to our ankles until the age of 21. What happens when they are 18 and decide to go off to college? What do you do then to make sure your teen girl is not left alone with a boy? It happens! A teen will find a way no matter how strict you are! Do you have a teen? Better yet, do you have a daughter? :glare:

[Scarlett]

I am actually pretty strict with my DD. She was allowed to see her boyfriend one weekend day (Saturday). I would call her several times a day while she was out. She also saw him 2 hours per week on Wednesday nights while I sat right there next to them the entire time!

 

While I don't feel the need to justify any of my parenting skills to you, I feel that you just. Don't. Get. It! We can not keep our children shackled to our ankles until the age of 21. What happens when they are 18 and decide to go off to college? What do you do then to make sure your teen girl is not left alone with a boy? It happens! A teen will find a way no matter how strict you are! Do you have a teen? Better yet, do you have a daughter? :glare:

 

You don't have to justify your parenting skills to me and I am sorry it is now sounding like I am questioning you. I am not.

 

I do have a teen stepson but I do not have a daughter. However, I WAS a teen and I WAS a daughter. And in fact, I was recently DATING in my 40s determined to stay chaste--and it was VERY difficult.

 

I KNOW things happen. I DO GET it. I don't even think you and I are so much in disagreement. However, shows like the one on this thread are disgusting to me.

 

Oh and ftr, I don't think 18 year olds are old enough to go off on their own. If they choose to they of course can legally do so, but I would not encourage or finance such a decision.