Which scenario would you choose?

[Renee in NC]

There are a few:

 

Scenario 1 - Move to an area where there are some jobs, the COL is decent, and a school for dh to attend for his desired major is close by. On the down side, there is no family/support in the area. You would move there with no job and knowing no one. The area is nice, but secluded with only one bigger city nearby.

 

Scenario 2 - Move to an area where there are lots more jobs, the COL is higher, and a school for dh would be less accessible. There are family/friends in the area. You would still move with no job. The area is familiar. It is a larger metropolitan area than any of the other scenarios. Due to its location, there are more jobs available here than any of the other scenarios, but the COL makes it more likely that commutes will be double (so you can afford to live.)

 

Scenario 3 - Move to another part of the country where you have somewhere to live temporarily (possible 6 months or more.) There are some jobs, but it is a large town/small city with no bigger cities nearby. You would still move with no job. The schools are good (better than any of the others.) There is no college nearby with majors suited for dh. It is very, very cold in this area 6 months out of the year.

 

Scenario 4 - Stay where you are. Your dh has one (very) low-paying job and the job prospects overall are pretty dismal (for you or for dh.) The house you live in is selling soon and you must move, but the low-paying job won't pay for rent anywhere but in low-income neighborhoods (crime, drama, substandard conditions.) Even then, the standard of living is very low. There is a college nearby, but it only offers a few degrees, none of which dh is suited for. You absolutely HATE it in this area for a variety of reasons - you have no intentions of raising your dc in this area due to these reasons.

 

Assume you have to make a decision ASAP - your current financial situation requires that you get a job. If you are able to get one where you are, it will necessitate you staying the area for at least 2 years.

Edited October 23, 2010 by Renee in FL

[Harriet Vane]

Scenario #1, definitely. Invest in dh's future. I think you also thought you could get a job more easily there??? (Remembering from other posts?)

[Renee in NC]

Scenario #1, definitely. Invest in dh's future. I think you also thought you could get a job more easily there??? (Remembering from other posts?)

 

Definitely more easily there than here, but not as easily as the larger metropolitan area.

[Mejane]

I'd go with scenario #2.

[newbie]

1

[newbie]

How are schools for kids???

[mcconnellboys]

I'd vote for number 1, or perhaps number 2 if you can swing the higher costs, commuting, etc.

[elegantlion]

I say 1 or 2 is your best bet. It depends on much being near family means to your emotional health and financial health (like can they help you out with babysitting and meals type stuff).

[gingersmom]

2

[Renee in NC]

How are schools for kids???

 

Schools seem to be about equal overall, with #3 having the best special ed by far. The larger metropolitan area would give us some leeway in choosing a school district, but generally the districts where COL would be affordable would have lower funded schools. There are a number of charter schools in the area, though. With #4, the schools are good, I guess, but there is no real funding for special ed (and so less services overall.)

[Renee in NC]

I say 1 or 2 is your best bet. It depends on much being near family means to your emotional health and financial health (like can they help you out with babysitting and meals type stuff).

 

Your dh thinks that being away from family would be difficult, especially with the very precarious position you find yourself in when you have little money and one income (which would be mine in that scenario.)

Edited October 23, 2010 by Renee in FL

[jld]

Sounds like 2 is your best bet then.

[coffeegal]

Scenario #1 or #2, although ds and I prefer #2. There are friends and family in the area, also a lot more jobs, and you know the area. The combination, in our minds, trumps the COL in #1. Also, would your friends and family be willing to step in and help, or perhaps network to help you find job leads before you move, provide references, etc?

 

ETA: Ran the scenarios by dh, and he prefered #2 also. In his experience, #1 tends to have a lot of nepotism which won't help your chances of being hired if you don't have friends or family in the area.

Edited October 23, 2010 by coffeegal
More information

[HRAAB]

I think I would go with no. 1. Some jobs, decent COL and school for dh. The only I wonder is how much help would family be? Of course, there is emotional support, but would they be willing to put you up until you find a place/job, babysit while you work, etc. If they're willing to help in that way, that might help sway my decision. While our family is great with emotional support, they're all way too busy trying to get by to help much in a physical/hands on capacity.

[BeckyFL]

3 and 4 would be out for me. Of 1 and 2, I would lean towards 1. Let us know how it all works out!

[KingM]

Do you mind sharing the actual locations?

[Miss Sherry]

Another option :

 

Get your resume and employment information in order and go by yourself to the area you want to take your family and apply for some jobs. Do as much as you can to try to get a job in the area you want to move to before moving there. It will cost you to do this, but it could cost you much more to take your entire family somewhere before having any job prospects.

[RanchGirl]

If dh is definitely going to school, then 1. If he *might* go to school but the primary focus right now is an immediate job, then I would have him go to area 1 and/or 2, whichever he prefers first, and live in a hotel or a camper or whatever and apply for jobs every day, all day, until he finds one. In the meantime, you and the kids are packing up and ready to go when he lands a job.

 

Wherever you go, if you are outgoing and friendly you can start building a support network. You can speed up the process by putting the kids in activities, finding a church, getting to know the neighbors, etc.

[whitestavern]

I'd go with choice #2.

[Brilliant]

...If he *might* go to school but the primary focus right now is an immediate job, then I would have him go to area 1 and/or 2, whichever he prefers first, and live in a hotel or a camper or whatever and apply for jobs every day, all day, until he finds one.

 

This is a great idea. Can he stay with family briefly while he seeks a job? And possibly use their address? Sometimes employers prefer to hire someone who already lives there.

[Renee in NC]

Do you mind sharing the actual locations?

 

Ok.

 

#1: near Asheville, NC

 

#2: Raleigh, NC area

 

#3: Dubuque, IA

 

#4: Daytona Beach, FL area

 

Now someone can hunt me down and stalk me, right?:lol:

[Liz CA]

1. Dh needs his education and once that is done then you can move on to a #2 like scenario.

 

Generally, I would also come down on the side of #1 - Education first, however I wonder if he can do some degree work via computer or long-distance instructions?

This could figure in where you go if you find a place that would fulfill the other two basic needs: job availability and housing.

Many accredited universities offer online courses and I am not talking about those universities that are questionable.

 

How are the priorities:

 

Safety for the family, job(s), housing, education/advancement options...whatever else applies to your family.

[eternalknot]

My bias is clear -- I always choose family and friend support as my top priority.

 

It's been my experience that jobs (especially initial, just-moved-to-the-area and/or transition-type jobs) are more easily found via word-of-mouth. Having contacts in the new area will help, even if just temporarily. Family and friends can also assist in a higher COL area, whether it's making bulk purchases together or meal-sharing during the week or whatever. Family/friends can make a longer commute more do-able, too, whether it's helping out with the kids during evening hours or carpooling/carsharing, or being available for general mom-support at the end of a long week (!)

 

I think it's important to consider the parent's further education, but unless he is majoring in something very obscure or a higher level such as his doctorate ... there are plenty of online options, too. Even as an interim choice, and from reputable state universities (not just University of Phoenix type of places, which I'd personally steer clear of).

 

To put my bias into perspective, I currently live where I do ONLY because most of my family is here. I commute four hours to work one way, three states away. It's not an ideal situation, but I can work around my job. Until last year, I also worked around my own schooling situation (some completed here in town, some completed online). A sub-par educational system for my kids would be frustrating, but I know I could somehow supplement it at home; i.e., education wouldn't be my driving priority. I can't replace or supplement the relationship my kids have with our family, even with the technological advances that would make it easy but still superficial. There's something to be said for the day-to-day relationship my kids have with our extended family, and for the support I'm privy to by being here. Sometimes financial support, sometimes support in the form of free babysitting, always ready emotional and mental support when I'm feeling overwhelmed. By motherhood, by life, by ... whatever. They'd be supportive regardless of where I live, but being nearby they can ACT and ASSIST in ways not possible where we separated by distance. And vice versa -- I get to play the supportive role, too, for my family nearby. That's invaluable to me, and a great life lesson for my kids.

 

I also grew up in a culture that stresses family importance over pretty much everything else. We've always managed to find jobs, and figure out schooling whilst choosing to stay near family; not always our ideal choices or top choices, but then again our ideal is for family closeness. Literally LOL.

 

Tough decision; have confidence in your choice and it WILL be the right one for you and yours.

[Renee in NC]

Another option :

 

Get your resume and employment information in order and go by yourself to the area you want to take your family and apply for some jobs. Do as much as you can to try to get a job in the area you want to move to before moving there. It will cost you to do this, but it could cost you much more to take your entire family somewhere before having any job prospects.

 

I do plan to apply for jobs starting as soon as we figure out where we would go. However, I cannot go to the area to live and do this as there would be no one here to take care of the dc. We only have one vehicle that would be road worthy enough to drive (and we have to put some money in it to make it able to make the trip.) Me visiting to do job interviews is one thing, but staying indefinitely while looking for a job just wouldn't work.

 

If dh is definitely going to school, then 1. If he *might* go to school but the primary focus right now is an immediate job, then I would have him go to area 1 and/or 2, whichever he prefers first, and live in a hotel or a camper or whatever and apply for jobs every day, all day, until he finds one. In the meantime, you and the kids are packing up and ready to go when he lands a job.

 

Wherever you go, if you are outgoing and friendly you can start building a support network. You can speed up the process by putting the kids in activities, finding a church, getting to know the neighbors, etc.

 

Dh is not the employable one - I am. Him going up and living with family while looking would not help any. His expected wages are not enough to even begin to live on in location #2 and there are no jobs for him in location #1. Ironically, there are more jobs for him in #3 than there are for me.:tongue_smilie: In #4, there aren't jobs for much of anyone!

 

As for school, he is saying that it isn't possible for him to do that right now. He thinks we both need to work to make enough to live on.

 

This is a great idea. Can he stay with family briefly while he seeks a job? And possibly use their address? Sometimes employers prefer to hire someone who already lives there.

 

I have an address in #2 that I can use *and* I still have a local number there (never changed my cell #.) All of my references are local to #2. If I went there ahead, he would have to quit his job to stay home with the dc - he doesn't make enough to pay daycare.

 

When we left the Raleigh area 18 months ago, it was because we were still hoping to have me at home with the dc and him supporting the family. We have both come to realize that it just isn't possible for this to occur. Dh's expected wages now are in the $10 an hour range and I don't see them going up anytime soon.

 

In a perfect world, dh could stay home and I would work, but I don't think it is a good idea. I don't think anyone would benefit from that situation. If dh got a job instead of going to school, his pay would be for daycare for the younger 2 and his work-related expenses.

 

We both understand that this is a really bad situation to be in, but I am afraid that things are going to get worse than they are if we stay here. Dh's job is less than stable right now. The employment situation here is very bleak - when a Jersey Mike's opened nearby, there were a hundred applicants or more within a couple of hours.:001_huh:

[Renee in NC]

Generally, I would also come down on the side of #1 - Education first, however I wonder if he can do some degree work via computer or long-distance instructions?

This could figure in where you go if you find a place that would fulfill the other two basic needs: job availability and housing.

Many accredited universities offer online courses and I am not talking about those universities that are questionable.

 

How are the priorities:

 

Safety for the family, job(s), housing, education/advancement options...whatever else applies to your family.

 

There are no online degree opportunities for dh. He cannot learn through online learning (he has tried.) They do not offer what he wants to do through distance, either. He is resigned to working manual labor for the rest of his life if that is what happens.

 

Dh even be *willing* to go to school is HUGE. School is very, very hard for him and if it isn't hands-on, it doesn't do him much good. He will never be a businessman, or a computer guy, or anything remotely like that. I am fully aware that at this point *my* working is what is going to take us out of poverty (and I am okay with that.)

 

ETA: Dh was going to school for Natural Resource Conservation/Wildlife Management. I found him a program at a school that was reputable and did not require large amounts of science/math. Honestly, if we went with #2, dh would never go back to school. The degree program in Raleigh at NCSU requires things like Calculus and higher-level sciences. I don't know that he is capable of working at that level.

Edited October 23, 2010 by Renee in FL

[QueenCat]

#1 until dh finishes school, and then revisit options. Keep in mind #2, where family is, is not terribly far from #1, for real emergencies/family aid, or for visiting.

[Melinda in VT]

I would go with #2. It sounds like you have the best chance of finding a good job there, and your employment is key.

[Renee in NC]

#1 until dh finishes school, and then revisit options. Keep in mind #2, where family is, is not terribly far from #1, for real emergencies/family aid, or for visiting.

 

I agree!:D However, dh is adamant that this is not the time for him to go to school. He says he will find something to do. When I asked him if he wanted to work manual labor all his life, he said, "I'll do it if that is what it takes."

 

His concerns about #1 is that we will be in the same position that we are now - beyond broke. He just isn't willing to put the dc through that for another 3-4 years while he gets his degree. Especially when his degree will get him in the $35K salary range for the most part. That still isn't enough and he knows it. If he can skip the degree and make $20-25K now and I work (which I will have to do anyway), then we can have something resembling a reasonable standard of living now. (This is his perspective.)

 

I am just as adamant that we will not EVER be in the position we are in ever again. I will not raise my dc in poverty anymore. My 9yo has special needs that could be helped tremendously with the right therapies and tutoring, but the way things are he will never have that opportunity. My 12yo is in severe need of braces, but without a change he will never get them. (His isn't a simple cosmetic problem.) I could go on and on.:tongue_smilie:

[LizzyBee]

I would pick #1.

[ChrisB]

What is your field of work?

[Renee in NC]

What is your field of work?

 

Accounting. I'll sit for the CPA exam next spring - I qualify educationally (meet the 150 hour requirement with the concentration.) I have 15 years experience, but I did mostly freelance work for the last 10. I expect to work a lower level job first due to some gaps in my experience (most notably my lack of experience in ERP systems and no audit experience.) My goal is to be a Controller within 5-7 years. Cost accounting is my favorite area. I also have strong research and analytical skills.

[unsinkable]

Ok.

 

#1: near Asheville, NC

 

#2: Raleigh, NC area

 

#3: Dubuque, IA

#4: Daytona Beach, FL area

 

Now someone can hunt me down and stalk me, right?:lol:

 

When I saw the weather, I thought Buffalo but knew it couldn't be correct b/c we have so many colleges & a huge university.

[Nakia]

I pick option 1 because that puts you right near me and MamaT!! :D

 

Seriously, thought, I have no idea, but I wanted you to know that I hadn't forgotten about finding information for you. It seems like you have found out a lot about the area. Please let me know if you want me to check specific places for jobs, housing, etc. Anything you need, let me know!!

[LizzyBee]

Accounting. I'll sit for the CPA exam next spring - I qualify educationally (meet the 150 hour requirement with the concentration.) I have 15 years experience, but I did mostly freelance work for the last 10. I expect to work a lower level job first due to some gaps in my experience (most notably my lack of experience in ERP systems and no audit experience.) My goal is to be a Controller within 5-7 years. Cost accounting is my favorite area. I also have strong research and analytical skills.

 

Funny - I hated cost accounting. Don't sell yourself short. There is still a shortage of CPAs in spite of the bad economy. You might want to use Robert Half or another headhunter (one that's paid by the employer, not the employee) to negotiate a good package for you.

[Renee in NC]

Funny - I hated cost accounting. Don't sell yourself short. There is still a shortage of CPAs in spite of the bad economy. You might want to use Robert Half or another headhunter (one that's paid by the employer, not the employee) to negotiate a good package for you.

 

Thanks! I have been researching in the Raleigh area and there seem to be several different headhunters out there. In my perfect world, I would work for a CPA firm for a few years to broaden my experience, but I will take what I can get.:D Any other tips/connections you know of, please PM me!;)

[chiguirre]

I'd pick Raleigh because you'll have a much easier time building an accounting career there. Could you go up there and stay with relatives while you job hunt? You're in such a tight spot that I think that might be the quickest way to get some income and move forward.

 

Happy hunting!

[Renee in NC]

I'd pick Raleigh because you'll have a much easier time building an accounting career there. Could you go up there and stay with relatives while you job hunt? You're in such a tight spot that I think that might be the quickest way to get some income and move forward.

 

Happy hunting!

 

It's really hard to do that as I do still have 6dc at home and dh does still have a job.;) I could go and stay with relatives for a couple of days, but we can not *all* stay with the relatives (for more than the week we are planning to at Thanksgiving.) No one has the room (or patience!)

 

We are at the point where we feel we have to go sooner rather than later, and a job would make that easier. We don't have the money to move and then look for a job, but neither do we have any money to go back and forth to look for a job.:tongue_smilie:

 

It's come down to me getting a job ASAP, but neither of us wants me to get a job here (because then we would be stuck here for a couple of years - I don't need a short-term job on my resume, KWIM?) So, we have to choose and figure out what to do about it.

 

ETA: I do agree with you about building a career in the Raleigh area!

[cathmom]

It probably comes as no surprise that I am in favor of both the NC options. I would not do #4 under any circumstances.

[Alyce]

I'd say #1. It is much better economically to live in. Is a middle sized city that has lots of good qualities. The school is excellent. It is one of the lowest cost to attend of any of the state universities and the city cares a great deal about their students. There are quite a few apartments that are near the school and their is quite a tram and bus system developed by the school to service it's student. It is not only designed to get the student around the school but also around the city, at least the inner parts. I have known a couple of students who go their and have almost no need for a car. With college students close by you might find you have a better source for child care that can actually be cheaper than you think.

 

#2 as you said is better for getting a job but the COL is VERY high there. You could live outside of the town even as far away as Butner or Fuquay Varina where the COL is lower but the commute would be at least an hour one way. The colleges in that area are very competitive and known for their high academic requirements. From what you've described of your Dh it would be almost impossible for him to get a degree in Raleigh. The CC their is okay and has lots of choices for an AA degree which your husband might be able to utilize but I think the COL would be a huge factor for me. An accounting job pay will go a lot farther in Asheville than it will in Raleigh. Also you need to know that there is a huge mess going on with the Wake Co public schools right now. A new board of education was elected last year and they want a neighborhood school system instead of the current system of busing students around. The NAACP has stepped in and has filed a lawsuit saying they are segregating the schools. They have been arguing for the last year back and forth and some nasty things have been done by both sides. Unfortunately the schools are being put aside while all this arguing is going on. The people that actually accredited public schools has even stepped in and are doing their own investigation. I'm not saying the schools are bad there I'm just telling you what you are stepping into. The school board wants to begin the neighborhood schools by the next school year. Which may or may not happen but I suspect if it does it's going to effect their special education programs a lot. Just something to be aware of.

 

May I make one suggestion. Go to NCESC.com It is the website for the state's unemployment agency. If you've been to Raleigh you may have heard of it. It's called the Employment Security Commission. All the jobs in the state are listed there and many of them you can apply for right on line. It might give you a better idea of what you might be looking at if you move to Asheville or Raleigh. My Dh works for them and he admits he's seeing more jobs coming available but the pay isn't necessarily going up. Once you move have him go to the local office. If he's willing to work with them, they will work with you. My husband can usually find a job for someone but it might not be what they want ideally or what they want to get paid. What he does know is that it's a lot easier to get a better job when you already have one. He frequently tells his clients to take what they can and then keep working on getting something better. Employers tend to look first at applications from people who are already working. It gives them a better idea of the kind of person they are getting and what their work ethics are. That may not be fair but that is what happens. He has had many of his clients take a low paying job and keep coming back to him and they have a quicker time of finding a higher paying job then they did getting their first job.

[Liz CA]

I understand better now. I would go the route then where he can complete the school he can handle. It will benefit him the rest of his life and 4 years of a degree are...only 4 years.

 

We moved from a nice area to a not quite so nice area for dh to finish his degree 12 years ago. I think one never regrets getting an education, especially if it's something he would love to do.

[tampamommy]

#1 especially if dh is motivated highly to go to school.

[Sonshine]

I would look closely at #1 and see if we could make it happen. If you could work fulltime and dh finish his degree in 3 - 4 years, he could pick the kids up from school and watch them while he studies. Hopefully the class schedule would allow this. Could you interview with a company where you are now that has a location where # 1 is and then have a job to move to? A company such as H and R Block might do this. I wouldn't be too picky about my first job back into the field and would not think it's a big deal to change jobs in a couple of years. In other words, as desperate as you are to move, the exact accounting position I had would not matter as much as some other variables. Of course, you want a good paycheck and a stable employer.

 

Have you looked into if you would qualify for some sort of government med. insurance for the kids and what it would pay for? In my state the medicaid type programs actually pay for more OT, etc than the typical insurance company does, if you qualify of course. You would want to find out if the good therapy places take the govt. insurance if you go that route.

[Perry]

 

#3: Dubuque, IA

 

:lol:

It's not THAT cold here. It was 70 degrees today. I'd say it's really cold for 2-3 months. January and February are the worst, with occasional bad Decembers. It does snow quite a bit, but we love that.

 

He doesn't sound like a 4 year college kind of guy. Has he looked into community colleges? I don't know much about NICC, but our CC in Cedar Rapids is outstanding. I wonder if the more technical/trade/vocational programs might suit him better. The job market is pretty good for many of these programs.

Edited October 24, 2010 by Perry

[MarinesWife]

Your little one is only 1! Giving up 4 years right now to go to school will then lead to a job that he enjoys for the rest of his working years. With your low income he should get grant money for help on living expenses??

 

And I would dread the thought of huge commute times no matter what. That's time and gas, both $$.

 

I vote #1 and encourage Scott to go to school. :)

[ChrisB]

#1 or #2 and definitely not #4. I like #1. I'd like to see that work.

[Miss Sherry]

I do plan to apply for jobs starting as soon as we figure out where we would go. However, I cannot go to the area to live and do this as there would be no one here to take care of the dc. We only have one vehicle that would be road worthy enough to drive (and we have to put some money in it to make it able to make the trip.) Me visiting to do job interviews is one thing, but staying indefinitely while looking for a job just wouldn't work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh yes, I can see that it would be out of the question for you to move away without your children to look for a job with no one home to care for them.

Would it work for you to visit to interview for a job and stay with family? Maybe now is a good time to see about who could come to be with your children so you can be prepared if/when a job interview opens up in an area you'd like to move to. It's good that you are planning on applying for jobs before moving. Maybe you can travel to where you want to move to, to go on some job interviews. It is just so tough to show up somewhere by moving there without a job first. When a new Winco grocery store opened up in a nearby town to where we live a few months ago there were about 1,400 applicants. Not 140 but 1,400. I was shocked. Yes ,one thousand , four hundred applicants. I would definitely want to make finding a job a top priority and I know it is for you. I think you are trying to shuffle so many things and that is tough. I think we need to all be praying for you that the timing works out so you can have your children taken care of at the right time to allow for you to make it to a job interview at the right time.

 

I think you are doing the right thing by thinking ahead about this - as you are - and wondering just what steps you need to be taking in the near future.

I wish there was a clear cut plan we all could tell you. You can only pray and look into what is going on in the job market, education, etc. in the area you want to move to and make the best decision with what you know.

I really think this type of thing is tougher - moving and needing employment - than it has been in recent decades. Pray, pray and pray some more for guidance to do what is right for you and your family.

[ChrisB]

Scenario 3 - It is very, very cold in this area 6 months out of the year.

 

#3: Dubuque, IA

:lol: It's not THAT cold here. It was 70 degrees today. I'd say it's really cold for 2-3 months. January and February are the worst, with occasional bad Decembers. It does snow quite a bit, but we love that.

 

:D LOL I agree with Perry. It was in the 60 or 70's today here in South Dakota.

 

You might want to use Robert Half or another headhunter (one that's paid by the employer, not the employee) to negotiate a good package for you.

I second this.

 

With your low income he should get grant money for help on living expenses??

 

And I would dread the thought of huge commute times no matter what. That's time and gas, both $$.

 

I vote #1 and encourage Scott to go to school. :)

And this.

Edited October 24, 2010 by ChrisB

[Miss Sherry]

Your little one is only 1! Giving up 4 years right now to go to school will then lead to a job that he enjoys for the rest of his working years. With your low income he should get grant money for help on living expenses??

 

And I would dread the thought of huge commute times no matter what. That's time and gas, both $$.

 

I vote #1 and encourage Scott to go to school. :)

Yes, she has a little one. She also has 5 other children. The six children range from age 1 up to age 16.

[Renee in NC]

It probably comes as no surprise that I am in favor of both the NC options. I would not do #4 under any circumstances.

 

:D I'm surprised you didn't specify #2, though.:lol:

 

I'd say #1. It is much better economically to live in. Is a middle sized city that has lots of good qualities. The school is excellent. It is one of the lowest cost to attend of any of the state universities and the city cares a great deal about their students. There are quite a few apartments that are near the school and their is quite a tram and bus system developed by the school to service it's student. It is not only designed to get the student around the school but also around the city, at least the inner parts. I have known a couple of students who go their and have almost no need for a car. With college students close by you might find you have a better source for child care that can actually be cheaper than you think.

 

#2 as you said is better for getting a job but the COL is VERY high there. You could live outside of the town even as far away as Butner or Fuquay Varina where the COL is lower but the commute would be at least an hour one way. The colleges in that area are very competitive and known for their high academic requirements. From what you've described of your Dh it would be almost impossible for him to get a degree in Raleigh. The CC their is okay and has lots of choices for an AA degree which your husband might be able to utilize but I think the COL would be a huge factor for me. An accounting job pay will go a lot farther in Asheville than it will in Raleigh. Also you need to know that there is a huge mess going on with the Wake Co public schools right now. A new board of education was elected last year and they want a neighborhood school system instead of the current system of busing students around. The NAACP has stepped in and has filed a lawsuit saying they are segregating the schools. They have been arguing for the last year back and forth and some nasty things have been done by both sides. Unfortunately the schools are being put aside while all this arguing is going on. The people that actually accredited public schools has even stepped in and are doing their own investigation. I'm not saying the schools are bad there I'm just telling you what you are stepping into. The school board wants to begin the neighborhood schools by the next school year. Which may or may not happen but I suspect if it does it's going to effect their special education programs a lot. Just something to be aware of.

 

May I make one suggestion. Go to NCESC.com It is the website for the state's unemployment agency. If you've been to Raleigh you may have heard of it. It's called the Employment Security Commission. All the jobs in the state are listed there and many of them you can apply for right on line. It might give you a better idea of what you might be looking at if you move to Asheville or Raleigh. My Dh works for them and he admits he's seeing more jobs coming available but the pay isn't necessarily going up. Once you move have him go to the local office. If he's willing to work with them, they will work with you. My husband can usually find a job for someone but it might not be what they want ideally or what they want to get paid. What he does know is that it's a lot easier to get a better job when you already have one. He frequently tells his clients to take what they can and then keep working on getting something better. Employers tend to look first at applications from people who are already working. It gives them a better idea of the kind of person they are getting and what their work ethics are. That may not be fair but that is what happens. He has had many of his clients take a low paying job and keep coming back to him and they have a quicker time of finding a higher paying job then they did getting their first job.

 

Alyce, a couple of things. We would not live *in* Asheville because he would go to WCU, not UNCA. We're trying to look right in the middle. If dh went to school, he would not work. We could not get an apartment either - they usually have strict 2 to a bedroom rules and there is 8 of us.

 

I still read the news in Raleigh (it's home - I was born in D and spent most of my life in that area.) I am interested to see how the mess turns out. We would probably not live in Wake County. I'd like to be back in Chatham, but the special ed options there are not great. Chapel Hill would be ideal, but who can afford to live there?:lol:

 

My dh and I have looked at cc options for years. In #1, the cc has a Wildlife Management program which is where he would start. When he finished that program, he may not want to go on any farther or he might - I am okay either way. Most of the other cc programs, even at Wake Tech, are not suited for him (interest and/or abilty-wise.) He's an odd duck. He really just wants to farm.:lol:

 

I have looked at NCESC and very few of the open jobs I have found are listed there. For dh type jobs, Craigslist seems to have most of them and for me, Monster and Careerbuilder do. Not sure why that is? Either way, dh works for $10 an hour now and most of the jobs he is qualified for look like they pay $9-10 an hour. We could, of course, not live on that in #2. We live on that NOW, but it has gotten to be more than we can handle.

[Renee in NC]

:lol:

It's not THAT cold here. It was 70 degrees today. I'd say it's really cold for 2-3 months. January and February are the worst, with occasional bad Decembers. It does snow quite a bit, but we love that.

 

He doesn't sound like a 4 year college kind of guy. Has he looked into community colleges? I don't know much about NICC, but our CC in Cedar Rapids is outstanding. I wonder if the more technical/trade/vocational programs might suit him better. The job market is pretty good for many of these programs.

 

As I said to my FIL while he sat at my kitchen table in July and sweated - it's all a matter of perspective!:lol: I spent the winter of 2000 in Dubuque and it was a "mild winter." No thank you. I think anything below 50 is cold.:tongue_smilie: You have to admit that 70 degrees in October is not normal.

 

Dh actually went to NICC that year we lived here and that is when we realized that he was not mechanically inclined.:lol: I have looked at many CC programs over the years. There isn't much there that suits him. He isn't a 2 year college kind of guy either.;)

 

Do you want to know what some of the ideal jobs are for dh?

 

1. Feed Store or somewhere similar. He would *love* to work in a feed store, talking to customers, helping them figure out what they want, talking about chickens and turkeys, and giving advice on the best ways to do things. This has never been an option in the past because they pay about $10 an hour max. (Yes, I realize that is what he makes now!:tongue_smilie:) This could be an option if he isn't responsible to support the family.

 

2. Wildlife Educator or Interpretive Ranger. He would love to go into schools, scouting groups, etc. and teach children about the animals. He loves animals and he loves talking to people. One of the places he would like to work is the Mississippi Museum in Dubuque or somewhere similar. He can't wait to go back to NC so we can go to the zoo (he likes the zoo, too!)

 

3. Sales. It would have to be something he really believed in and that would appeal to the "redneck" types. Farm machinery, outdoor equipment, etc. This would necessitate people coming to him for things (he couldn't do outside sale) and those types of jobs usually pay, well, $10 an hour. Do you see a trend here?:lol:

 

He has a CDL (but over-the-road is OUT - not going to happen here.) He gives great customer service, really going out of his way to make the customer happy. He can run many types of equipment - Bobcats, tractors, chainsaws, etc. He CANNOT work alone, so any job that has him spending his time away from other people is not good. He cannot multi-task at all. He is not management material. He does not speak Spanish (many positions I have seen in the Raleigh area for him want bilingual.)