Anyone have baby sleeping advice?

[lovinmyboys]

Hi

This is my first year homeschooling and so far my 8month old has given me the most trouble. He is my third, so you would think I would have figured it out by now. Anyway, he is a TERRIBLE sleeper. He still wakes up several times a night and takes two cat naps during the day. I think I am doing everything right, but it isn't working. He puts himself to sleep in his crib with a white noise machine. He still cries himself to sleep..usually for just five minutes but sometimes longer. I try to keep his routine fairly consistent, but with the other kids it doesn't always work. With my others once they put themselves to sleep they learned to sleep. I could handle the first six months of sleep deprivation, but these last few months are really starting to wear me out. Any tips or bits of magic to share? Thanks so much!

[Natalieclare]

:lurk5::bigear::bigear::bigear::grouphug::grouphug:

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

Hi

This is my first year homeschooling and so far my 8month old has given me the most trouble. He is my third, so you would think I would have figured it out by now. Anyway, he is a TERRIBLE sleeper. He still wakes up several times a night and takes two cat naps during the day. I think I am doing everything right, but it isn't working. He puts himself to sleep in his crib with a white noise machine. He still cries himself to sleep..usually for just five minutes but sometimes longer. I try to keep his routine fairly consistent, but with the other kids it doesn't always work. With my others once they put themselves to sleep they learned to sleep. I could handle the first six months of sleep deprivation, but these last few months are really starting to wear me out. Any tips or bits of magic to share? Thanks so much!

 

What do you do when he wakes during the night? What time do you put him down and what time is he finally awake?

[Parrothead]

What time does he go to bed? How long does he sleep? What do you do when he wakes up? Is he hungry?

[lovinmyboys]

He goes to bed at 8 and wakes every 3 hours like clockwork. He has woken up every 3 hours since he was born. I have always nursed him and put him back to bed. But now at 8 mos I don't think he needs to eat every 3 hours at night. I nurse him 5-6 times during the day and he is getting better at eating solid food (now that he finger feeds). He crawls and cruises all day, so he should be tired. He is in about the 50th percentile for height and weight.

 

As far as naps, he takes a morning one 2hrs after he wakes up and then an afternoon one when the other boys have quiet time. About 75% of the time he will only sleep for 45 min. I know he needs a longer nap, but am not sure how to get him to do it.

 

Thanks

[5LittleMonkeys]

One thing I started doing with my 3rd at about 8 to 10 months was setting a time in the afternoon for nap and whether she slept or not she stayed in her crib until it was "time" to get up (usually about 2 hours). I've done that with the last three and they eventually became accustomed to going to sleep at that time. I also would make sure they were fed right before bed time in the evening and would not get them out of bed during the night unless they were sick. (then it's right into bed with me) If they woke up crying during the night I wouldn't go in to them for at least 5 minutes then if they were still crying I would go in, check to make sure they weren't feverish, change their diaper in the crib, cover them, turn on their lullaby machine and walk away. If they kept crying I would wait a couple of minutes then go in and stroke or pat their backs but would not talk to them. I would lengthen the amount of time I waited to go back in. Sometimes if after 15 minutes they are still being fussy I would give them a bottle of water. It takes a while for them to "get" that you aren't going to pick them up but they will start to after just a couple of days. At least mine did. I would have loved to be able to sleep with them in my bed but I am prone to insomnia and usually can't sleep at all with a small dc in my bed...I'm afraid of rolling over on them.

 

Hope you get some sleep soon. Sleep deprivation is a bear!:grouphug:

[Parrothead]

I agree and would handle it as Aime did.

 

Sounds like your little guy is waking himself up at night out of habit.

 

I wouldn't force a longer afternoon nap. Maybe it is time to transition to one long nap in the middle of the day.

[fairytalemama]

Some may think this is harsh, but we took the tough love approach with my daughter. We were in essentially the same boat as you, and one night we just let her cry it out. I went in there once, patted her and put her back down in the crib and didn't go back in. Yes, it was a nightmare that night because I felt awful not getting her (the crying went on for a very long time before she settled down), but after that night she slept through the night.

 

:grouphug: Hang in there...

[lovinmyboys]

Thanks Aime. I'll try that. I had thought about doing it, but I haven't yet had the courage to make him stay in bed the whole nap time (even though I make my other kids even if they complain).

 

I would love sleeping with him too, but no way would it work. He is much more interested in poking my eyes than sleeping.

[springmama]

I'm really lazy in the middle of the night, so what I did was put the baby down for the night in the crib then when he woke to nurse while I was awake I went to his room to nurse him back to sleep. If he woke in the night, I just brought him to bed with me, stuck a bOOk in his mouth and went back to sleep.

 

Eventually they just start sleeping all night, right around 12 months.

 

And I'm lazy in the daytime too, so I decided to just lower my housekeeping standards and just roll with the disruptions to my day.

[Ellie]

He goes to bed at 8 and wakes every 3 hours like clockwork. He has woken up every 3 hours since he was born. I have always nursed him and put him back to bed. But now at 8 mos I don't think he needs to eat every 3 hours at night. I nurse him 5-6 times during the day and he is getting better at eating solid food (now that he finger feeds). He crawls and cruises all day, so he should be tired. He is in about the 50th percentile for height and weight.

 

As far as naps, he takes a morning one 2hrs after he wakes up and then an afternoon one when the other boys have quiet time. About 75% of the time he will only sleep for 45 min. I know he needs a longer nap, but am not sure how to get him to do it.

 

Thanks

Well, sometimes it doesn't hurt to let the baby cry for a little while--not until he's throwing up from crying, but just let him fuss a little before going in to get him.

 

Ditto with the naps.

 

My dd just did some "tough-love" with her 4mo baby--a night or two of letting him fuss, not shrieking, kwim? just fussing. He now sleeps 8-10 hours a night. Also, he's taking longer daytime naps. Go figure.

 

Oh, and also, that he is 8mo doesn't necessarily mean he can nurse less frequently. That will probably change the more solids he eats.

[wapiti]

He goes to bed at 8 and wakes every 3 hours like clockwork. He has woken up every 3 hours since he was born. I have always nursed him and put him back to bed. But now at 8 mos I don't think he needs to eat every 3 hours at night. I nurse him 5-6 times during the day and he is getting better at eating solid food (now that he finger feeds). He crawls and cruises all day, so he should be tired. He is in about the 50th percentile for height and weight.

 

As far as naps, he takes a morning one 2hrs after he wakes up and then an afternoon one when the other boys have quiet time. About 75% of the time he will only sleep for 45 min. I know he needs a longer nap, but am not sure how to get him to do it.

 

Thanks

 

As long as you don't think he still needs a third nap (most of my kids were down to two naps by 8 months), I would move the naps to clock time (somewhere in the vicinity of 9 am for the morning nap and 1 pm for the afternoon nap).

 

Regardless, my advice is to move the bedtime to 7:00 or earlier. In my experience, 8:00 is too late for a baby that young, unless there is a third nap. A bedtime that is too late is a common cause of a night waking problem.

 

My favorite book re: sleep schedules is Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, if you're interested in reading about this sort of approach.

[lovinmyboys]

Some may think this is harsh, but we took the tough love approach with my daughter. We were in essentially the same boat as you, and one night we just let her cry it out. I went in there once, patted her and put her back down in the crib and didn't go back in. Yes, it was a nightmare that night because I felt awful not getting her (the crying went on for a very long time before she settled down), but after that night she slept through the night.

 

:grouphug: Hang in there...

 

This is probably what I needed to hear. I am really on the fence about letting him cry because I am pretty sure he will cry for a long time. But if it works, I'm sure it will be worth it.

[lovinmyboys]

I'm really lazy in the middle of the night, so what I did was put the baby down for the night in the crib then when he woke to nurse while I was awake I went to his room to nurse him back to sleep. If he woke in the night, I just brought him to bed with me, stuck a bOOk in his mouth and went back to sleep.

 

Eventually they just start sleeping all night, right around 12 months.

 

And I'm lazy in the daytime too, so I decided to just lower my housekeeping standards and just roll with the disruptions to my day.

 

This is pretty much what I have been doing. I am starting to get worried that I will be doing it forever...so nice to know it will eventually end.

[fairfarmhand]

This is probably what I needed to hear. I am really on the fence about letting him cry because I am pretty sure he will cry for a long time. But if it works, I'm sure it will be worth it.

 

yep. it is hard especially since they finally figure out that MOM IS NOT COMING!!! I"M NOT GETTING MY WAY THIS TIME, and they begin shrieking in anger.

[kmacnchs]

He goes to bed at 8 and wakes every 3 hours like clockwork. He has woken up every 3 hours since he was born. I have always nursed him and put him back to bed. But now at 8 mos I don't think he needs to eat every 3 hours at night. I nurse him 5-6 times during the day and he is getting better at eating solid food (now that he finger feeds). He crawls and cruises all day, so he should be tired. He is in about the 50th percentile for height and weight.

 

As far as naps, he takes a morning one 2hrs after he wakes up and then an afternoon one when the other boys have quiet time. About 75% of the time he will only sleep for 45 min. I know he needs a longer nap, but am not sure how to get him to do it.

 

Thanks

 

It's always tough saying what *I* do b/c it works for us b/c I've been doing these things since birth - it's hard to 'fix' things after he has gotten into the routine of only taking 45 min naps...that being said, everyone has sleep cycles. My son will sleep 30-45 min, wakes up, play in his crib, and will go back to sleep another 30-45 min...this will happen 2-3x/nap. If your son will play in his crib (not w/toys, just moving around, kicking, talking, sucking his thumb or whatever) happily, maybe he will go back to sleep? Just a thought...

 

Can't help you w/night - I have a feeling he is waking up out of habit, not need - he is too old to *need* food in the middle of the night but too young to understand why you will not pick him up again in the middle of the night (if that is what you choose to do) so it's a tough spot...you may want to try to let him be (if your hubby is okay w/it) and see what happens (if he cries, time him so you can make sure he doesn't cry too long but make sure you give him a chance to calm down and go back to sleep)...?

[Annie Laurie]

I would recommend finding a copy of The No Cry Sleep Solution at your library. I would keep a sleep log, and that might help you notice a pattern that is keeping him up. For an 8 mo old baby, sleeping just a 5 or 6 hour stretch would be sleeping through the night. Many babies need to eat still.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting a few minutes to see if baby is just fussing and will fall back asleep, but I personally think it compromises the trust between parent and baby when baby continues crying and even gets angry and very upset and the people he counts on don't come.

 

Does he have a lovey or some other object you can encourage him to soothe himself with, instead of needing you? It would take time for him to accept a substitute, but it sounds like he needs some help in knowing how to self soothe and get back to sleep.

[ktgrok]

I seem to be the lone dissenter but....if you think letting him cry is awful, and all the other moms said hearing their baby cry is awful, well...maybe that is because it is pretty awful. Not like "bad parent" awful. Just miserable. There is a reason that our baby's cries elicit such a strong emotional response. It's because we are supposed to pick them up. There are numerous studies showing that letting a baby cry it out raises the stress hormones in their body to an unhealthy level. It has been linked to anxiety later in life. And honestly, to what benefit? So the kid sleeps through the night a few months earlier? What difference does a few months make, really, in the lifetime of a child? They all learn to sleep on their own sooner or later. They really do. Some sooner, some later, but they all do it. And yes, it sucks to get in the middle of the night. But you never get those midnight feedings back. And all those books that say to put your child down awake, to never ever nurse them or rock them to sleep...how awful! That's the best part of having a baby!!! There is nothing better than a baby asleep on my breast, drooling milk. I would never give that up just to make them sleep through the night a little bit earlier.

 

Besides, at 8 months it could be teething, or it could be real hunger from all that activity during the day. What if it IS hunger, and you ignore it? I'd feel awful knowing my baby was crying in hunger and I valued my sleep more. what message does that send?

 

I'm sorry that this post wasn't worded more tactfully. I'm usually much better at that, but my emotions are raw right now and so I'm just putting my thoughts out there. Please know that I know several wonderful parents that let their children CIO. I am sure your children are loved and happy. I just think this is wrong.

 

 

This is probably what I needed to hear. I am really on the fence about letting him cry because I am pretty sure he will cry for a long time. But if it works, I'm sure it will be worth it.

[CoastalGal]

I Maybe it is time to transition to one long nap in the middle of the day.

 

:iagree: -- it couldn't hurt to try. :grouphug:

[Parrothead]

This is probably what I needed to hear. I am really on the fence about letting him cry because I am pretty sure he will cry for a long time. But if it works, I'm sure it will be worth it.

I did it with dd. She tried to use me as a human pacifier. By six months old I was exhausted because she woke up ever hour on the hour to nurse. I didn't know what to do and dh's grandmother suggested the cry it out method.

 

I thought that if it is okay with grandma then it is okay with me. Dd woke up crying twice in one night. She cried back to sleep and never woke up at night again to nurse.

[lovinmyboys]

I seem to be the lone dissenter but....if you think letting him cry is awful, and all the other moms said hearing their baby cry is awful, well...maybe that is because it is pretty awful. Not like "bad parent" awful. Just miserable. There is a reason that our baby's cries elicit such a strong emotional response. It's because we are supposed to pick them up. There are numerous studies showing that letting a baby cry it out raises the stress hormones in their body to an unhealthy level. It has been linked to anxiety later in life. And honestly, to what benefit? So the kid sleeps through the night a few months earlier? What difference does a few months make, really, in the lifetime of a child? They all learn to sleep on their own sooner or later. They really do. Some sooner, some later, but they all do it. And yes, it sucks to get in the middle of the night. But you never get those midnight feedings back. And all those books that say to put your child down awake, to never ever nurse them or rock them to sleep...how awful! That's the best part of having a baby!!! There is nothing better than a baby asleep on my breast, drooling milk. I would never give that up just to make them sleep through the night a little bit earlier.

 

Besides, at 8 months it could be teething, or it could be real hunger from all that activity during the day. What if it IS hunger, and you ignore it? I'd feel awful knowing my baby was crying in hunger and I valued my sleep more. what message does that send?

 

I'm sorry that this post wasn't worded more tactfully. I'm usually much better at that, but my emotions are raw right now and so I'm just putting my thoughts out there. Please know that I know several wonderful parents that let their children CIO. I am sure your children are loved and happy. I just think this is wrong.

 

Thanks for this point of view too. If they really all do sleep thru the night eventually then I can probably keep doing what we are doing. I guess after 8 mos with no improvement in his sleeping habits, I am starting to wonder if he will ever sleep more than 3 hrs at once. And since he doesn't nap well I can't ever get a nap to catch up. But, a lot of my tiredness is just frustration. If I had hope that in a few more months he would be sleeping better I would probably not feel so overwhelmed and already defeated when the alarm goes off and I can't pry my eyes open. It really has just been this week that I feel like the lack of sleep is really to show in my life. I do love this stage and I know I will miss it when he is bigger.

 

I also really want to do what is best for him. Im not sure that waking up during the night and catnapping is allowing him to get the sleep he needs

[Alphabetika]

Honestly, I have no tips, just :grouphug:. My third one is exactly as you describe! She is 14 months now, but she has just now stopped crying herself to sleep, and she still only takes two one-hour naps a day, plus wakes a few times every night. And, like yours, my first two were great sleepers. They slept through the night by about 4-5 months and at this age were still taking two naps of about two hours each. So, hang in there!:grouphug::grouphug:

[ktgrok]

Thanks for this point of view too. If they really all do sleep thru the night eventually then I can probably keep doing what we are doing. I guess after 8 mos with no improvement in his sleeping habits, I am starting to wonder if he will ever sleep more than 3 hrs at once. And since he doesn't nap well I can't ever get a nap to catch up. But, a lot of my tiredness is just frustration. If I had hope that in a few more months he would be sleeping better I would probably not feel so overwhelmed and already defeated when the alarm goes off and I can't pry my eyes open. It really has just been this week that I feel like the lack of sleep is really to show in my life. I do love this stage and I know I will miss it when he is bigger.

 

I also really want to do what is best for him. Im not sure that waking up during the night and catnapping is allowing him to get the sleep he needs

 

My son woke up every 1-2 hours at that age. It was hard. But you couldn't wake him now if you tried. He is a great sleeper!!! I'm pretty sure your son won't be waking to nurse in college :lol:

[workingmom]

Some may think this is harsh, but we took the tough love approach with my daughter. We were in essentially the same boat as you, and one night we just let her cry it out. I went in there once, patted her and put her back down in the crib and didn't go back in. Yes, it was a nightmare that night because I felt awful not getting her (the crying went on for a very long time before she settled down), but after that night she slept through the night.

 

:grouphug: Hang in there...

 

For all my kids I did this and some it lasted 1 week to 10 days but really its habit, there is no reason a healthy 8 month old needs to feed every 3 hours at night. What I found was first go by dropping one feeding at a time, while it will prolong the process it will give you reassurance that dc isn't starving.

 

Be strong, go sleep in another room/floor of the house if you can't handle the crying.

[OrganicAnn]

My advise is that some babies are more difficult to get to sleep when you want them to. They don't sleep as long as you think they should. No amount of books/strategies/or methods will change them. So if you try two or three methods and they don't work, then realize that you have one of these babies that have more difficulty sleeping. I tried three or four methods (and followed them exactly for at least two weeks each - two miserable weeks), before I can to this realization.

 

A friend of mine has an easy sleeper and a difficult sleeper. She said that she was glad she had the difficult sleeper first.

Edited October 21, 2010 by OrganicAnn

[workingmom]

As long as you don't think he still needs a third nap (most of my kids were down to two naps by 8 months), I would move the naps to clock time (somewhere in the vicinity of 9 am for the morning nap and 1 pm for the afternoon nap).

 

Regardless, my advice is to move the bedtime to 7:00 or earlier. In my experience, 8:00 is too late for a baby that young, unless there is a third nap. A bedtime that is too late is a common cause of a night waking problem.

 

h.

 

Fully agree, It seems counterintuitive, but sleep begets sleep. So try to stick with two naps a day (maybe a third catnap late afternoon if needed) and get him down to bed early in the evening. I forgot to mention in pp that once you get him sleeping there are always milestones that creep in everymonth like separation anxiety, teething, etc. You have to try to stick to letting him fall asleep on his own. Just as I type this dd 10 months woke up with a small cry and went right back to sleep. So makes sure you aren't preventing him from falling back asleep by going into the room to quickly.

[mykdsmomy]

I seem to be the lone dissenter but....if you think letting him cry is awful, and all the other moms said hearing their baby cry is awful, well...maybe that is because it is pretty awful. Not like "bad parent" awful. Just miserable. There is a reason that our baby's cries elicit such a strong emotional response. It's because we are supposed to pick them up. There are numerous studies showing that letting a baby cry it out raises the stress hormones in their body to an unhealthy level. It has been linked to anxiety later in life. And honestly, to what benefit? So the kid sleeps through the night a few months earlier? What difference does a few months make, really, in the lifetime of a child? They all learn to sleep on their own sooner or later. They really do. Some sooner, some later, but they all do it. And yes, it sucks to get in the middle of the night. But you never get those midnight feedings back. And all those books that say to put your child down awake, to never ever nurse them or rock them to sleep...how awful! That's the best part of having a baby!!! There is nothing better than a baby asleep on my breast, drooling milk. I would never give that up just to make them sleep through the night a little bit earlier.

 

Besides, at 8 months it could be teething, or it could be real hunger from all that activity during the day. What if it IS hunger, and you ignore it? I'd feel awful knowing my baby was crying in hunger and I valued my sleep more. what message does that send?

 

I'm sorry that this post wasn't worded more tactfully. I'm usually much better at that, but my emotions are raw right now and so I'm just putting my thoughts out there. Please know that I know several wonderful parents that let their children CIO. I am sure your children are loved and happy. I just think this is wrong.

 

 

:iagree: I would also add, what does your mama instinct tell you to do? Listen to your heart :) :grouphug:

[ktgrok]

:iagree: and thank you for this!

 

I've taken a completely different approach with my kids...

 

I feel strongly that leaving a baby to cry is inexcusable. Infant development is an area I've, informally, studied a lot, and I could never consider that approach an acceptable option for our family.

 

My little one is close to yours in age, and he's my seventh so I have seen this age/stage a few times now.

 

A few disordered thoughts:

 

1) My little guy went through a period just recently of nonstop nursing - including every 2-3 hours through the night. It was very short term (though it felt eternal while it was happening), but, from our experience, it was clearly prep for a growth spurt. He was genuinely *hungry*, and I resigned myself to serious exhaustion while it lasted.

 

2) At some point in this age range kids can start teething pretty intensely as their one year molars get ready to emerge. Some of ours have woken crying from pain - and when they are this little pain can be very scary and a comforting presence, and whatever your family does for teething pain, is needed. My eldest had the hardest time, this little one has some sleep disturbances from teething pain, but can be soothed back to sleep in seconds

 

3) Sometimes kids can get into less than ideal patterns - often after a period of one or both of the above... they get used to waking at odd times. I've found that keeping the room dark, the environment quiet, and holding the little one (for some kids it has been standing, for others lying down or sitting) helps them get back to sleep (dh does this for some of the night time sessions). It usually isn't hard to get back into a reasonable pattern... a few days of patience and gentle consistency help them reestablish their patterns.

 

4) For my little ones, exact times aren't so helpful, but awareness of their signals is essential. There is a pattern, for my babies, in how each one moves towards readiness for sleep... and trying to force the issue to early... or missing the signals and letting them get overtired are equally disastrous (well, some kids are fine with it, but others have a lot of trouble falling asleep and staying asleep if they stay awake too long). Perhaps your little guy needs to start earlier, or needs different routines to help him sleep... we aren't all the same! I need a different routine than dh does, and each of my kids has needed different things (sometimes drastically different). I had one who at that age had a small futon the floor and would drawl over to it and lie down to sleep when she was tired... and one who fell asleep in mine or dh's arms (she was the one sleeping 8hrs a night at a fairly early age, though).

 

5) Each of our kids has had different sleep needs. My eldest did not nap as a baby once she was more than a few months old. She slept through the night earlier than any of the others, but she just didn't need as much sleep as most babies do. This little one catnaps - occasionally he takes longer naps, but that seems tied to a shift in development or a growth spurt, otherwise he naps for 45-60 minutes - sometimes just for half an hour... and wakes up refreshed and happy. (if he wakes up cranky or fretful, we can tell he needs more sleep, and help him get back to sleep.) Other kids have taken 2-3 hour naps... and several of them (dd#3 slept the most overall)

[Ravin]

Not sure what to tell you, since my philosophy is to sleep with the baby and enjoy the "human pacifier" phase. Waking every 3 hours would hardly get noticed if all you had to do was roll over, instead of get up.

 

We didn't even own a crib with DD, and won't with this next one, either.

[lovinmyboys]

Not sure what to tell you, since my philosophy is to sleep with the baby and enjoy the "human pacifier" phase. Waking every 3 hours would hardly get noticed if all you had to do was roll over, instead of get up.

 

We didn't even own a crib with DD, and won't with this next one, either.

 

I did love the human pacifier phase, until he moved right into the "will not nurse to sleep, has 8 teeth and likes to bite if he isn't hungry, and thinks I am a human jungle gym" phase. I love this phase too, but as much as I would love to cuddle him to sleep and sleep with him, he will not do that (and never has). My DS2 was the cuddliest baby ever-he slept with me for quite a long time and I loved it.

 

Thank you everyone for all the great advice. If anyone else has any to add I am :bigear:. I put the books on hold at the library, so thanks for those recs.

[silliness7]

yep. it is hard especially since they finally figure out that MOM IS NOT COMING!!! I"M NOT GETTING MY WAY THIS TIME, and they begin shrieking in anger.

 

I dealt with this with my 2nd son. It was very, very hard. It took longer than one night and he did more than just fuss. He was very angry that momma wasn't going to nurse him in the middle of the night. He was 8 mos. old also. Hang in there!

[Garga]

My son woke up every 3 hours for over a year. His crib was in our room and it had wheels. (He used to sleep with us, but then he would wake every 2 hours. Putting him in the crib bought us an extra hour between awakenings.)

 

Finally dh had had ENOUGH. Dh got out of bed, wheeled the whole crib into the bathroom and shut the door. Then he turned to me and said, "You! Stay in bed!" I did (because DH never talks to me like that! I was in shock!)

 

Ds cried for awhile, and then went to sleep and slept through the night. He continued to sleep through the night for the next couple of months. In his crib. In the bathroom.

 

(then we moved him to his own room, where he continued to sleep thru the night.)

[lighthouseacademy]

Thanks for this point of view too. If they really all do sleep thru the night eventually then I can probably keep doing what we are doing. I guess after 8 mos with no improvement in his sleeping habits, I am starting to wonder if he will ever sleep more than 3 hrs at once. And since he doesn't nap well I can't ever get a nap to catch up. But, a lot of my tiredness is just frustration. If I had hope that in a few more months he would be sleeping better I would probably not feel so overwhelmed and already defeated when the alarm goes off and I can't pry my eyes open. It really has just been this week that I feel like the lack of sleep is really to show in my life. I do love this stage and I know I will miss it when he is bigger.

 

I also really want to do what is best for him. Im not sure that waking up during the night and catnapping is allowing him to get the sleep he needs

 

I am on my 4th... my 2nd NEVER slept. At 8 months, she took ONE 20 minute nap per day and then woke every hour at night... somewhere around 14 months she started taking an hour nap and then stretched to 2 hrs for a few months. She was done with naps at 2 but I required rest time (a HUGE pile of books in her crib for the duration of rest time). She eventually by about 16 months slept through the night fairly reliably...

 

My 4th wakes all night and rarely takes a long nap. She has JUST started being more reliable for more than a half hour nap and just transitioned to 1 nap at almost 13 months. Today she slept for 2 1/2 hours! She still is waking at night, but quite frankly I would be GRATEFUL for every 3 hours- my little one wakes all night right now. They still need to eat in the middle of the night when they are still under a year unless they sleep without coercion. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

 

I often ponder on the CIO- if my 4 year old wakes up and tells me with words that she is thirsty or has to go to the bathroom (yes my baby wakes because she has to pee sometimes) or is cold or hot, then I respond. I wouldn't dream of telling my 4 year old to "soothe yourself" and ignore her. I don't wake up with a need and ignore it and "soothe myself" so I "learn to sleep." I deal with the issue and then go back to sleep. The fact that my baby can't use words and I am sleep deprived does not mean that she is not trying to communicate to me. So, I do my best to not CIO.

 

I have been known to meet all my baby's needs and let them fuss for no more than 5 minutes, but if they start to cry or get upset other than a whiney fussy cry, I go right back in and take care of them again. While writing this post I did that- baby nursed, wouldn't go to bed so I put her in her bed. She fussed for a few minutes and then, when she normally would have gone to sleep, she began to cry. I went back in, rewrapped her blankets, nursed her again and laid her in her bed with a light pat and shushing. She fussed for 4 seconds and then went to sleep. I have noticed that if my daughter gets good enough naps and an early enough bed time, she tends to do better at night. For some odd reason, not enough sleep lends more to less sleep at night!

 

Forgot one thing that a pp talking about her 4 methods of not CIO reminded me of- when there is a developmental milestone, some kids are more apt to sleep disturbances. My baby is the worst of all my kids. She has been known to wake herself up trying to crawl or trying to stand or rolling over as she was working so hard on those things during the day. Once the skill was mastered, she stopped the extra waking due to moving herself at night.

Edited October 21, 2010 by lighthouseacademy

[smrtmama]

I would cosleep and nurse my baby when he says he's hungry. I would never leave a baby alone to cry.

[MelanieM]

I can't imagine how I'd feel if I woke in the middle of the night needing comfort, a hug, a kind word, and my husband simply walked away from me to let me scream myself to sleep. It would seem horribly cruel of him. And if I can't imagine how it would feel to be on the receiving end of that as an adult, I surely can't imagine the impact to a small baby. This is why I could never leave a child of mine to cry it out, even if it means facing more sleepless nights than I might otherwise have ahead of me.

 

To the OP, I do understand feeling sleep deprived and wanting a good night of rest. I'm right there with you! I just remind myself that this too shall pass, and before long I'll be wishing for these days back again. Thanks for starting this thread... the responses have reminded me of what is most important for my own state of mind.

[scrappyhappymama]

I normally avoid these threads, but since the OP seems genuinely interested in hearing both points of view, I'm going to try to brave it. :001_smile:

 

I used to be a big proponent of CIO methods of sleep training. We used it with our first son, and I can attest that it does work.

 

But at what cost? Here are links to some studies that indicate that allowing a child to cry for extended periods of time can be harmful: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1267977/Crying-babies-risk-brain-damage-claims-child-expert-Dr-Penelope-Ford.html

 

I think there can be some middle ground here. I have still done some sleep training with my subsequent babies and I don't think letting them occasionally fuss a bit to fall asleep is going to injure them. But I will never again leave them alone in a room to cry, or go to another part of the house or turn off the monitor to avoid hearing their pleas. That makes *me* want to cry! I'm not judging other parents here, but I do think it's great to examine the research available and make an informed decision.

 

I know how hard it is to try to homeschool older children with a poorly sleeping infant/toddler and a fuzzy head from lack of sleep. :grouphug:

[SnowWhite]

I would recommend finding a copy of The No Cry Sleep Solution at your library. I would keep a sleep log, and that might help you notice a pattern that is keeping him up. For an 8 mo old baby, sleeping just a 5 or 6 hour stretch would be sleeping through the night. Many babies need to eat still.

 

 

:iagree: Yes to this book. It worked wonders with my eldest ds. My youngest ds is 16 months and now wakes only once in the night and then early a.m. , between 5:45 and 7:30 (sometimes I let him snuggle in our bed, sometimes I nurse him and he goes back in his crib). I think some kids just need more of our presence and physical touch than others. (as well as differences in metabolic rates and digestion)