Would you take a job you didn't like in order to get started in life?

[naturegirl7]

I went to school for and am working a job that I really don't care for at all. I like aspects of it, but mostly it is frustrating, draining, and depressing. I am a nurse, I love working hospice but I can't do overnights with a small child. Basically all the available jobs are rehab/nursing homes. I am a walking pez dispenser of meds. I have too many patients, too much redunant paperwork. I like sitting on the bedside and talking to my patients and their families. That holistic approach and nuturing side of nursing is what makes me feel good inside. And it is very rare outside of hospice care. But I knew this getting into it.

 

I also knew that I would have a career in a high demand field, I could go anywhere in the US, I would have a decent pay and good health benefits, and lots of flexibility with my schedule. I did this so that I would have more time at home with my kiddo(s). The time at home with my family is worth any frustration or lack of fulfillment that I may feel at home. I wanted a good fallback that would make a decent amount of money without working a ton of hours. I could work 2 days and make what I was previously making working a FT job. Thank goodness I did - cuz it has been a lifesaver the last few years!

 

For the longest, I only did part-time, but since DH has been out of work for 2 years now - and back in school himself - I am FT and the primary income. I dislike my job and am totally unfulfilled - but my DH can go to school in the AM, and I work 3-11 - eliminating any need for childcare and giving me more time with my son. It is tight, but we can live on my income. That all makes it worth it to me.

 

My DH has a BS in psych which he loves, but can't find work. He has a trade in automotive repairs - again which he loves, but still no work. Now he is going to school for sonography - not something he loved initially. More a strategic move for our family - he will be in high demand, make GREAT money (double what I bring home), good health benefits, and some flexible hours. It will be something new every day, and not a desk job, and stimulating, and still highly technical. So he decided to go for it - basically even if he hated it, he was willing to make that sacrifice for our family (we would like to add to the fam but NOT while I am working FT!!) and it turns out that he LOVES it. He is really excelling in school, especially in the clinical portions. I am so proud of him (on so many levels) and really happy and relieved that it will be a career he will enjoy too.

 

Personally - I think you do what you need to do, and be on the lookout for something better. But you can't just sit around waiting for that to happen - you need to MAKE it happen.

[Rosie_0801]

If my daughter wanted to marry this drip, I'd be up with diarrhea all night.

 

Cough, splutter, :smilielol5:

 

I rekon!

 

Rosie

[angela in ohio]

If my daughter wanted to marry this drip, I'd be up with diarrhea all night.

 

I just spit water all over the keyboard! :D

 

Even more than I hope that isn't my son, I always hope my daughter doesn't marry it.

[LaissezFaire]

I think that kid had a poor education. Because obviously no one taught him the value of hard work. I think about my husband and the times he worked two menial jobs to get where he is now and I think about how strong that made both of us and what we learned. how sad this young man won't ever learn it.

[coffeefreak]

if my daughter wanted to marry this drip, i'd be up with diarrhea all night.

 

bawhahawahwhahwawh!!!!!!

 

Amen!!!!

[TechWife]

I have worked jobs I didn't like. I was overqualified for my first job after college, my first two jobs, really. I would do it again if I needed to, esp. if I decide to "restart" my previous career.

 

I think as a parent I would have told this kid to get a grip. You don't always get what you want in life - you usually have to WORK for it.

 

Very immature of him to turn down a job at this point in his non-existent career.

[OrganicAnn]

I can understand turning down a job in an area you felt you weren't going to succeed at and it wasn't your area. Like if you were miserable at sales and that was the job, but you'd take an entry level job in your area. So if it is remotely in your area, but just not a great job, then that's crazy to turn it down (crazy any time, but especially in this economy).

[ConnieB]

But....he has no real obligations right now. Ok, a cell phone and he's living at home but it sounds like his parents are ok with that. I'm not sure I'd pay for the cell phone, but my children know that they are welcome to live here as long as they need/want. I would expect that if they're not working outside the home to help financially, then they'd be doing quite a bit inside the home to earn their keep. They do now, and we consider their education their "job"....so when they have more free time because their current "job" has ended, then they'd be taking on more responsibilities.

 

Oops...got off course.........Back to his responsibilities....he has no wife, no children, no mortgage, no car payment to support. If there is EVER a time in his life when he will actually be ABLE to say "you know what, I don't want this job, I'm going to find a better one, one that I will enjoy going to work each day and be able to work harder because I love what I'm doing....and THAT will get me the promotions I seek.". and so on, lol.

 

After he takes that first job, we all know what will happen.....he'll move out of his parents home, get a car loan, maybe a mortgage, start buying material items......maybe even get a wife and kid added in at some point. And then where will he be....still stuck in a job he doesn't like because NOW he has no choice, NOW he MUST have income because THAT is his responsiblity.

 

How many of us have looked up in the sky and wished for our "perfect" job.....but we can't wait around for it because there are babies who need diapers, shoes, curriculum, and money put away for their college.

 

How many of us have a business that we would dearly love to be able to start, but businesses take start up money, and then they take years of really intense work schedules to build up before they will support a family....so we just wish and dream and go to that job that pays the bills but doesn't talk to our heart?

 

I think he's looking at his father who started out in a job 35 years ago and while Dad worked his way up to general manager, it doesn't sound like it was Dad's dream....and yet, as soooo many people know, you can't just up and leave one job to go seek that dream. And even hunting for another job while you have a good job to move toward that dream is tough.....when you have responsibilities it's tough to jump towards something new that might not work out (and in THIS particular economy, ANY new job is risky, because you're low man on the totem pole, so why leave a disliked job where at least you're up a rung or three). So this young man is trying to bide his time and find THE job to start out in. And as I've said, this is probably the only time in his life that he'll be able to turn down a paying job. So take advantage of that. And be sure that you thank your parents, Scott, for giving you that opportunity!

[coffeefreak]

But....he has no real obligations right now. Ok, a cell phone and he's living at home but it sounds like his parents are ok with that. I'm not sure I'd pay for the cell phone, but my children know that they are welcome to live here as long as they need/want. I would expect that if they're not working outside the home to help financially, then they'd be doing quite a bit inside the home to earn their keep. They do now, and we consider their education their "job"....so when they have more free time because their current "job" has ended, then they'd be taking on more responsibilities.

 

Oops...got off course.........Back to his responsibilities....he has no wife, no children, no mortgage, no car payment to support. If there is EVER a time in his life when he will actually be ABLE to say "you know what, I don't want this job, I'm going to find a better one, one that I will enjoy going to work each day and be able to work harder because I love what I'm doing....and THAT will get me the promotions I seek.". and so on, lol.

 

After he takes that first job, we all know what will happen.....he'll move out of his parents home, get a car loan, maybe a mortgage, start buying material items......maybe even get a wife and kid added in at some point. And then where will he be....still stuck in a job he doesn't like because NOW he has no choice, NOW he MUST have income because THAT is his responsiblity.

 

How many of us have looked up in the sky and wished for our "perfect" job.....but we can't wait around for it because there are babies who need diapers, shoes, curriculum, and money put away for their college.

 

How many of us have a business that we would dearly love to be able to start, but businesses take start up money, and then they take years of really intense work schedules to build up before they will support a family....so we just wish and dream and go to that job that pays the bills but doesn't talk to our heart?

 

I think he's looking at his father who started out in a job 35 years ago and while Dad worked his way up to general manager, it doesn't sound like it was Dad's dream....and yet, as soooo many people know, you can't just up and leave one job to go seek that dream. And even hunting for another job while you have a good job to move toward that dream is tough.....when you have responsibilities it's tough to jump towards something new that might not work out (and in THIS particular economy, ANY new job is risky, because you're low man on the totem pole, so why leave a disliked job where at least you're up a rung or three). So this young man is trying to bide his time and find THE job to start out in. And as I've said, this is probably the only time in his life that he'll be able to turn down a paying job. So take advantage of that. And be sure that you thank your parents, Scott, for giving you that opportunity!

 

I think his parents are being overindulgent. The perfect "dream" job is a pipe dream, especially at his age. Work is work. The most you can hope for is that you'll find something you'll enjoy doing, but most of that comes with time and experience. What happens when he finds that "perfect job," and gets laid off after 10, or even 20 years. What about the perfect job that has a change of command? I have had jobs I LOVED, only to have them ruined when a new boss or co-worker came on board. How will he react when the "perfect" job turns out to not be so perfect? What are they teaching him? Will they always be around to support him? They're ruining him.

[ConnieB]

How many on this board took a year off (or more) between high school and college or right after college to go "hike in Europe" or "find yourself" or whatever your generation/family/friends called it?

 

I spent over a year with little or no money wandering around Europe. I lived in student hostels which back then were uber cheap.....or with friends I had just made (remember "back then" it was much safer to trust strangers), even slept in parks and churches. I could work for a week and have enough money to move on to another town and putz around for a week or two of siteseeing and soaking up culture before I was running out of money again and needed to work for a short time. Jobs like that were also fairly easy to come by....probably not so much now....but I washed a lot of dishes, cleaned hotel rooms, picked fruit at harvest, walked dogs, washed windows, and so on. I spent a whole month being a nanny to a family I had just met because the mom was due to deliver her baby any minute and I got on well with their toddler daughter, so they invited me to stay, gave me room and board and enough cash so when I left them I didn't have to work for quite a while!

 

Of course I have no idea what type of person I would have become had I not taken that time to go have some fun and be free and wild and crazy. But that lack of direction and responsibility certainly didn't make me grow up irresponsible. It certainly isn't the lifestyle I lived after I came home.

 

I lived with my parents for about a year after I got home, but I got a job doing what I had gone to college for....I bought my first house.....a small place with a lot of TLC needed, but it was mine (honestly my Dad was more upset about that rickety old house I was going to move into then I recall him being over my annoucement I was going to Europe alone). I had a car (and loan) within weeks of getting that first job, so there was no turning back to my backpacking hippy-esque days....but I didn't really need to either. Of course, I eventually got married to a military man and go to do a LOT of travelling....had children in several different countries....and now live what most would consider a boring suburban lifestyle (except I homeschool, lol). When I have told people about my days in Europe all alone the reaction is usually great shock....they all are surprised that such an old-fuddy duddy like me would have once made friends with someone on the street and been sleeping on their couch (or floor) that night. I'm so cautious about what I allow my children to do now that most people think I'm joking about the risks that I took.....but life was different then....maybe we were naive, but it wasn't considered a risk...you got to know them for a few hours and trusted your gut that they weren't ax murderers. Not all my situations were perfect....I went home with a girl only to find out she turned tricks at night to earn her keep....I slept in the park that night, lol. I met more than a fair share of druggies and avoided going back to their place out of fear of being arrested, lol. I never did get up the guts to try drugs....something I'm happy about now, but "back then" thought I was odd since "everyone else did".

 

I know this is now considered a right of passage only for the rich, but believe me, I was anything but rich. Backpacking and camping are cheap though...and again, back then in the 70's it was safer. And I met a LOT of American kids like me...low on cash, but high on experiencing life.

 

I don't see where what this guy is doing is really any different....he just is staying home to find himself, deciding what he wants out of life BEFORE he jumps into it. Is it the most responsible mature course he can set, no of course not, and no most of us wouldn't want our daughters marrying him NOW. But take a look at what you and/or your spouse were like right out of college....were you all really mature, responsible adults, ready to plunk 20% of your first paycheck into an investment account and prudently paying your bills before you went out partying on Saturday night? I doubt it. And how many of your parents voiced concern about your marrying "him"? But look at you now. Most of us are pretty heavy into being responsible role models for our children....we'd never consider passing up a job if we didn't have one.....but oh how we wish and dream that we could.

 

Sorry, guess I'm the odd man out on this one, but I say this is the ONLY time that this young man has the freedom to say no to a job. To be free to pursue what he's hoping will be a perfect job. Someone asked, what happens when he finds it and 10 years from now is laid off....well, by then he'll have matured, perhaps married one of our daughters and is raising a grandchild for us....and he'll take the first job that comes along because it's better than being unemployed now that he has responsibilities. And hopefully, he'll look back on his youth and realize how lucky he was that he had the chance to find his calling in a career field he wanted. Even if it was only for 10 years. And.....I'm guessing that when his kids graduate college and need a place to stay while they take the time and freedom to figure out what they want to do.....well, he'll give them that space to follow their dreams. Ok....at least that what I plan to do. And I fully expect to have mature adult children giving me lots of grandchild to spoil....but only after they've had some time to be free to not have to make the "wise" choice.

 

Guess none of your sons are gonna propose to my wild child daughters now eh? :lol:

[Renee in NC]

How many on this board took a year off (or more) between high school and college or right after college to go "hike in Europe" or "find yourself" or whatever your generation/family/friends called it?

 

I spent over a year with little or no money wandering around Europe. I lived in student hostels which back then were uber cheap.....or with friends I had just made (remember "back then" it was much safer to trust strangers), even slept in parks and churches. I could work for a week and have enough money to move on to another town and putz around for a week or two of siteseeing and soaking up culture before I was running out of money again and needed to work for a short time. Jobs like that were also fairly easy to come by....probably not so much now....but I washed a lot of dishes, cleaned hotel rooms, picked fruit at harvest, walked dogs, washed windows, and so on. I spent a whole month being a nanny to a family I had just met because the mom was due to deliver her baby any minute and I got on well with their toddler daughter, so they invited me to stay, gave me room and board and enough cash so when I left them I didn't have to work for quite a while!

 

 

 

I have no problem with that. You made your own way and learned alot in the process (and you earned your own money!) This kid is sitting at home, mooching off his parents, doing nothing but sending off resumes, a little volunteer work, and some odd jobs occasionally. He's been doing this for two years. He isn't developing work ethic and he is *hurting* his future career by having this huge hole in his resume that cannot be explained with volunteer work or any life experience.

 

There are tons of things that he could do with his time. He isn't *qualified* for his dream job! He doesn't have a business degree or a finance degree. He has a double major liberal arts degree. To gain those skills to make him more marketable, he could volunteer or do and unpaid internship.

 

And, no, I didn't take time off to find myself. I started college with a 2yo, though, so I did have responsibility.

[coffeefreak]

I have no problem with that. You made your own way and learned alot in the process (and you earned your own money!) This kid is sitting at home, mooching off his parents, doing nothing but sending off resumes, a little volunteer work, and some odd jobs occasionally. He's been doing this for two years. He isn't developing work ethic and he is *hurting* his future career by having this huge hole in his resume that cannot be explained with volunteer work or any life experience.

 

There are tons of things that he could do with his time. He isn't *qualified* for his dream job! He doesn't have a business degree or a finance degree. He has a double major liberal arts degree. To gain those skills to make him more marketable, he could volunteer or do and unpaid internship.

 

And, no, I didn't take time off to find myself. I started college with a 2yo, though, so I did have responsibility.

 

:iagree:

 

Connie, what you did was totally different. You weren't mooching off of society. You worked toward a goal and achieved it. And it's not like this has been 1 year. It has been 2 years and he's still living off someone else. There's a difference. And, I have at least one friend that traveled Europe for a summer after college and had a heck of a time finding a job when she got back. Still worth it, but she had to take menial work in the mean time and work her way up.

 

And I have to disagree with you that in 10 years he will have matured. I know PLENTY of people who are married with multiple kids still living off their parents because they weren't forced to live on their own. Some in my own family. They were like this guy and they are STILL like this guy. If his parents don't kick him out soon, he'll always use them as a fallback.

 

Blessings!

Dorinda

[CalicoKat]

I wish my bil and sil could see this thread. . . . .

 

Then maybe they'd have heat in their foreclosed home and groceries to feed their three kids. :smash:

 

But no, they won't just any job, they want their dream jobs. They will keep their hand out taking taking from the in-laws (who finally decided they're being mooched and dried up the financial bleeder).

 

My dh is feeling badly for those kids. I do too. But BIL evidently can't even get his act together to finish the application process for WIC. :confused:

[angela in ohio]

I wish my bil and sil could see this thread. . . . .

 

Then maybe they'd have heat in their foreclosed home and groceries to feed their three kids. :smash:

 

But no, they won't just any job, they want their dream jobs. They will keep their hand out taking taking from the in-laws (who finally decided they're being mooched and dried up the financial bleeder).

 

My dh is feeling badly for those kids. I do too. But BIL evidently can't even get his act together to finish the application process for WIC. :confused:

 

Maybe he's holding out for a management position like Eddie? :lol: Next thing you know, they'll be living in an RV in your driveway.

 

That's our standard joke around here whenever we know a family where dad won't take just any old job, but needs to hold out for something that will make him feel good or that he deserves.

[Mommyfaithe]

I would advise my kids to find another place to live because they're not living on my dime unless they're going to school or working.

 

I agree..except I expect them to be going to school AND working. School p/t: work f/t

Work p/t: school f/t

 

There are no other options....even if the full time work is 2 or more p/t jobs.

 

Faithe

[Joanne]

I agree..except I expect them to be going to school AND working. School p/t: work f/t

Work p/t: school f/t

 

There are no other options....even if the full time work is 2 or more p/t jobs.

 

Faithe

 

I'm an adult and I'm work f/t, student f/t. :) It's not easy. Many days it totally blows. But it's doable.

[Mejane]

I'm an adult

 

I think this may be the operative part of your statement.

[Just Another Jen]

Maybe he was homeschooled only using curriculum that he liked.:lol:

 

 

 

:w00t:

[Melora in NC]

Of course. But the young man in the story sounds as though he has always been indulged and encouraged to believe that he is superior to the average job seeker. I don't really think his grandparents did him a favor, but family connections Can work wonders, so who knows?

[Gooblink]

Ha! I mentioned this article/thread to my husband and he said he thought it might be prudent to hold out for the right job!

 

This, coming from a man with a degree in Physics and whose first job was emptying tanks at a sewage treatment plant. :D

[emzhengjiu]

Did this kid or anyone in his family give any thought about the consequences this article will have on his future career potential? Who would hire him now?

[cathmom]

Did this kid or anyone in his family give any thought about the consequences this article will have on his future career potential? Who would hire him now?

 

 

They probably thought some corporation would see it and say, "There's the guy we've been waiting for!"

 

:lol:

[HRAAB]

I think maybe he needs to get cold and hungry. We're talking about a 24 yr. old adult. The job he was offered wasn't flipping burgers for minimum wage; it's a professional job. As far as that goes, if my adult child were living at home and having a difficult time finding work after so long, I would expect them to take that minimum wage job until something else came along.

 

I thought it was called maturity.

[Faith]

QUOTE=Renee in FL;1854469]What a moron! He turned down a $40,000 a year job because he thought it would stunt his career? He doesn't *have* a career. He has a college degree and no marketable skills. His parents are paying his cell phone bill and his rent. He's 24 for goodness sakes!

 

I just don't understand. He could have taken the job as the claims adjuster, increased his skills, and then reapplied for the management training program. Work on an MBA at night. Volunteer in some capacity that would further the career that you want to be in.

 

 

:iagree:

[Barry Goldwater]

 

They probably thought some corporation would see it and say, "There's the guy we've been waiting for!"

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

Exactly. Who would trust a man like this to water his plants, much less run a division of a company?

[scubamama]

I've had a few crappy jobs in my life...changing bed pans at a nursing home while going to school for my RN was the worst (ha! a pun! I slay myself!)

However since I paid for college, my car, my apartment I was more than willing to accept that job - I didn't say I liked it or it "fulfilled me". It fulfilled my obligation to pay tuition.

I would never be satisfied if one of my dd's was interested in a guy like that...I'd have dire predictions for their future life together. No one is completely satisfied all the time. That's what makes us work harder to achieve our dreams.

His folks must be embarrased. My family had 0$ and was very happy to encourage me to "work hard" to get what I wanted. My 80 yo grandma was pleased to tell her lil'ol' lady friends that my dh is a "good hard worker, a good man" (insert strong PA Dutch accent here) until she passed away.

 

Good thread.

[emzhengjiu]

My worse job was peeling shrimp in a seafood packing plant one summer when I was in college. I would go home crying every night but it paid the bills and most of my fall tuition / books. Studying seemed easy in comparison! Even today, years later, I will not eat shrimp I have to peel! Ever! But I made it through that summer. The manager of the packing plant referred me to a friend of his who offered me a nice part-time job that lasted until I graduated. You never know who will be able to help you in life. I feel sorry for the young man in the article. He has some painful growing up to do.

[mamato4]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I second the :lol::lol::lol:

[Carol in Cal.]

That's what gets me.

He doesn't sound like he is either building up enriching experiences, or building up volunteer hours in his career of choice, or embarking on some kind of unusual once in a lifetime adventure. He's home on the computer most of the time (oh wait...) and he's turned down a job mostly because he could.

 

I would say that there is nothing really wrong with having a period of unemployment if there is a purpose to it, but this could become a habit in this young man's case. What is he going to say when asked about this major gap? In a few years if the economy comes back, how will he compete with fresh graduates? If he could say that he climbed Mt. Everest or joined the Peace Corps or studied the great books for fun or attempted to write the great American novel, that would be somewhat defensible. But as it stands, he sounds like he is frittering away this time and turning down pretty decent opportunities. Not so attractive a stance in a job interview, say, 2 years from now.

[angela in ohio]

My worse job was peeling shrimp in a seafood packing plant one summer when I was in college. I would go home crying every night but it paid the bills and most of my fall tuition / books. Studying seemed easy in comparison! Even today, years later, I will not eat shrimp I have to peel! Ever! But I made it through that summer. The manager of the packing plant referred me to a friend of his who offered me a nice part-time job that lasted until I graduated. You never know who will be able to help you in life. I feel sorry for the young man in the article. He has some painful growing up to do.

 

I once took a short-term job chopping cilantro all day for salsa for a small Mexican foods company in college. Ugh! But you do what you have to do.

 

Dh has worked two or three jobs at a time, sometimes while going to college, in order to feed our family.

 

I thought of this thread today as I was driving home. The men were out behind the combine in the field down the road. It was 96 degrees out, no breeze, and they were bailing hay. It looked like grandpa, son, grandsons, and a few hired guys. In a few days, the temps will drop (this is an unusual hot spell,) but they are getting the hay done today. Those are men. :001_smile: Those are men feeding their family and the rest of us.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

So I guess the rich have as much a sense of entitlement as the poor...

[Matryoshka]

I did. Even though I graduated cum laude and spoke three languages, all anyone wanted to know was if I could type. :glare:

 

So I marched down to Kelly Girl and learned word processing, and got a temp job earning a whopping $10 an hour in a brain-dead job that used pretty much none of my brain so I could get.out.of.my.parent's.house. :tongue_smilie:

 

I kept looking and later took a job that at least was in my field - and I had to take a pay cut from my temp job! But that got me started on a career path.

 

You're always more employable when you're already employed. 24yos living at home should jump at *anything*.