A new house without fences... help!

[sewpeaceful]

Okay, we are moving out of the burbs to beautiful Connecticut. I have ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS had fences around my yards, growing up AND now that I am raising kiddos. I have an 8yo, 6yo, and 14mo. The houses up there don't have fences! Okay, this is no big deal to, probably, half of you. I am used to being able to let my kids play out back while I casually observe from the kitchen while making lunch and dinner. They've been confined by a fence. It was no big deal. (I swear I am not a neglectful mother - I was keeping an eye on them while cooking). Okay, now the fence is gone. Um... what do I do? The joy of CT is months and months of beautiful weather for playing outside. I can't be out there every minute. Do the kids just learn boundaries? Do I need to build a fence or play area?

 

I really am not as dumb as I sound right now, I promise. :lol:

[secular_mom]

Just put up a fence.

[gingersmom]

Just put up a fence.

 

 

:iagree:

[astrid]

I'm in CT and live without a fence. I kept my eye on dd in the backyard while cooking. We live in a residential neighborhood on a street with a lot of local traffic. We just taught dd never to go near the road or sidewalk and to stay in the backyard. I always kept an eye on her, but she always obeyed that rule. Put up a fence if you're worried.

 

Welcome to the Nutmeg State! Where in CT are you moving? Homeschooling is easy-peasy here. NO regulations.

 

astrid

[Carol in Cal.]

I have always lived in places with fences myself.

 

But my in-laws live where fences are very unusual, and when they go by a house with a fence, they comment that the person who lives there must be grouchy. That is the perception there--that you wouldn't want a fence unless you can't get along with your neighbors.

 

I don't know whether it's like that in Connecticut, but if so, moving in and then building a fence right away is going to get you off to a bit of bad start in the neighborhood. I'd wait and try to figure out the people before that.

[Starr]

Boundaries for your older ones will work but my kids would take off at 14 months. They were four or so before I was comfortable having them out alone. You might love a fence. :)

[sewpeaceful]

I have always lived in places with fences myself.

 

But my in-laws live where fences are very unusual, and when they go by a house with a fence, they comment that the person who lives there must be grouchy. That is the perception there--that you wouldn't want a fence unless you can't get along with your neighbors.

 

I don't know whether it's like that in Connecticut, but if so, moving in and then building a fence right away is going to get you off to a bit of bad start in the neighborhood. I'd wait and try to figure out the people before that.

 

You hit the nail on the head. We lived in CT for 5 years before moving to TX where fences are status quo. Yes, the perception is uninviting to have a fence, regardless the reason. I will have to figure something out for sure. Hmmm....

[Wheres Toto]

I would put up a fence. My kids are okay but if something interesting walked, drove or rode by, they'd forget the rules in a second.

 

We have one town near us that does not allow fences so you might want to check before building one. Some places have guidelines for what's permitted or require permits.

[Garga]

If the neighbors will be grouchy about it, that's sad.

 

Our backyard is against a 35 mph road that people like to speed down, so it was distressing to me if they went out alone. There is no sidewalk between my grass and the road. The edge of my yard is the road.

 

We just put up a fence after not having one for 6 years and I can't even put into words what a RELIEF it is. The kids can actually go out in the backyard without me there watching them. It's been freeing to all of us. I wish we'd done it sooner.

[Wyndie]

How about a picket fence? Is that seen as standoffish? We want to fence our whole yard (some year! lol) but can only have privacy in the back so we are considering some cute version of a picket fence in the front so it's still fenced but doesn't look like we're trying to keep people out.

 

I personally think fences should come standard with houses. lol

[susankenny]

Well, I would put up a fence personally. I don't care how it's perceived. I have a white picket fence in my front yard & a privacy fence in my backyard. I love it! If we were to ever move, I'd want to do the same thing.

 

Susan

[Mejane]

What borders your yard? Other yards? Woods? Use that as a natural boundary, and teach your kids they are not to go into others' yards or the woods. We're in CT, too, and have always had woods around our house. The kids were instructed to play "on the grass." You don't want them in the woods anyway; the ticks are awful here, and lyme is epidemic.

[Lolosoli]

I'd put up a fence, without question! This your home, your space, your comfort zone! You live in it on a daily basis...you pay taxes!!!!!!! You deserve a fence if you want a fence!!!!! LOL

 

I don't care how it would "look" to others either.

[Carrie12345]

My kids have never had a fenced yard (except at Grandma's house). Somewhere between 3.5 and 4, they get it. Which isn't to say that I've never had a 7yo try to push those limits... but they're generally safe.

 

My youngest just turned 3, and he does know his boundaries, but of course he's still an impulsive 3yo. He can't be outside without an adult, but he manages fine with an adult who is reading a book or on the computer. ;)

[rafiki]

.

[Mejane]

Had another thought. If you put up a fence, you won't get to see all the cool critters CT has - deer, fox, wild turkeys, bear... or maybe you don't want to. ;) How about a hedge instead?

[astrid]

You hit the nail on the head. We lived in CT for 5 years before moving to TX where fences are status quo. Yes, the perception is uninviting to have a fence, regardless the reason. I will have to figure something out for sure. Hmmm....

 

Well, as a lifelong Nutmegger, yes, I wanted to say that, but thought I hadn't better. Around here they are referred to as "spite fences."

 

Really-- you'll be fine. The kids won't get abducted, the bears won't invade, and your neighbors will be lovely. Promise. :001_smile:

 

astrid

[astrid]

I'd put up a fence, without question! This your home, your space, your comfort zone! You live in it on a daily basis...you pay taxes!!!!!!! You deserve a fence if you want a fence!!!!! LOL

 

I don't care how it would "look" to others either.

 

I think the point was being made that it's important to be on good terms with ones' neighbors. You never know when you might need them, and knowing that there are folks around to lend a hand, a hammer, or share a chat on a sunny day is a nice thing, don't you think?

 

astrid

[Wheres Toto]

Had another thought. If you put up a fence, you won't get to see all the cool critters CT has - deer, fox, wild turkeys, bear... or maybe you don't want to. ;) How about a hedge instead?

 

We have a 3 foot high post and rail fence with wire mesh covering the openings. We still have deer, fox and bear through our yard on a regular basis. :eek: We also are still very friendly with our neighbors. A 3 foot fence should be enough to keep the kids in the yard without making you seem stand-offish.

[sparrow]

We moved to a home without a fence when dd was 6 and ds was 7. We have the natural boundaries of a woods, "bog", and a line of pine trees. They learned their boundaries quickly, and do stray from our yard. I've been worried about the occasional dog that has wandered over, but they've ended up being friendly, thankfully.

 

I have to add that we are the *only* house on a dead end cul-de-sac, however. The pine tree line separates our property from a house on another street. The only time we get traffic down our little drive is UPS, the mail lady, and if someone made a wrong turn. I would probably be more worried in a busy neighborhood.

[hornblower]

Around here they are referred to as "spite fences."

 

Really-- you'll be fine. The kids won't get abducted, the bears won't invade, and your neighbors will be lovely. Promise. :001_smile:

 

astrid

 

Wow.

 

What do you do about your dogs?

 

 

I love having my own private, secure area.

 

 

In fact, because we border/straddle a creek (the creekbed belongs to the crown), there's a chunk of property I can't fence without it looking really dorky. It's been ok b/e my kids are older but I would have not liked it if we moved with younger kids. My other side is fenced & has a huge hedge too. Yay!!! I love my almost 20ft tall hedge! The dogs have a large fully fenced chunk of my yard for play time but I wish they had more.

 

I also have a huge deck where I can do training with my dogs but I've been on the look out for a large supply of xpens & ring gating so that I can set up some jump sequences on my grass in a temporary fenced area.

 

And we do get coyotes & raccoons & just a few km way, bears. But they go over fences anyway so that's kind of besides the point.

 

I love my privacy. I can't imagine not having big fences& hedges , or the ravine & 100 foot tall red cedars & douglas firs which separates me from my neighbours.

[Sherry in OH]

Check with your local municipality and homeowner's association before putting up a fence. We are not allowed to have fences in our neighborhood.

[Corraleno]

I grew up on the east coast in a neighborhood where erecting a 6' privacy fence would be seen as really anti-social. I wouldn't want to tick off my neighbors before I'd even met them! Most of my family still live in the NE, and the idea of having all the backyards run into each other, with kids playing in each other's yards and neighbors dropping in for coffee all the time, seems pretty normal there. In the western/southwestern US it seems more normal for everyone to have a privacy fence, to call before you drop in on someone, etc.

 

If I were moving to a neighborhood where no one has fences, I would be more inclined to plant a low hedge, which would serve as a boundary to my kids without looking unfriendly or deterring wildlife. It would be a lot cheaper (and prettier!) too.

 

Jackie

[astrid]

I grew up on the east coast in a neighborhood where erecting a 6' privacy fence would be seen as really anti-social. I wouldn't want to tick off my neighbors before I'd even met them! Most of my family still live in the NE, and the idea of having all the backyards run into each other, with kids playing in each other's yards and neighbors dropping in for coffee all the time, seems pretty normal there. In the western/southwestern US it seems more normal for everyone to have a privacy fence, to call before you drop in on someone, etc.

 

If I were moving to a neighborhood where no one has fences, I would be more inclined to plant a low hedge, which would serve as a boundary to my kids without looking unfriendly or deterring wildlife. It would be a lot cheaper (and prettier!) too.

 

Jackie

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

At least in all the neighborhoods I've lived in here in New England, the whole, "Da*n it, I pay taxes, it's MY house, I'll do what I WANT!" wouldn't play well with neighbors. Your choice, of course, but if someone moved in next to me and immediately erected a privacy fence, I'd form a pre-concieved notion about them most likely, and assume that they want little to do with me, which I would reciprocate. They'd most likely quickly become the talk of the neighborhood, too. It's just how things work around here. Not saying it's right, just that it IS.

 

astrid

[runmiarun]

When we lived in TX, everybody had 8' privacy fences. I was completely freaked out, having moved from Maryland and prior to that Georgia, where you only had fences if you had a pool. Now that we're back east, half of our neighbors have fences (pools), half don't. We have a 3' chain link fence painted black with gates on all the sides for our kids and the neighbors kids to freely traverse through all the yards on the street. It came with the house since the previous owners had a dog. I wasn't thrilled at first but given the amount of strays (humans and dogs) and unleashed dogs in the neighborhood, it's turning out to be nice. Plus, it gives me another straight line to swath in flower beds.

[hornblower]

Ok, this thread is just making me LOL so much b/e it's so strange to me.

(& I'm glad to know this in case we ever move!)

 

Just for an illustration, this is a street view of a pretty old, established, ritzy neighbourhood street in Vancouver. Way out of MY price range, but hedges & fences in my neighbourhood look pretty much the same. The stone wall with the hedge on top? Classic. Even I have one LOL.

 

Many houses in the most expensive parts of town are completely hidden on all sides. There are just glimpses between the boxwood and the cedar and the holly (I adore holly hedges because they're so prickly!) of the house within.

 

http://maps.google.ca/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Point+Grey+Road,+Vancouver,+British+Columbia&sll=49.891235,-97.15369&sspn=26.739147,78.837891&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Point+Grey+Rd,+Vancouver,+British+Columbia&ll=49.275316,-123.220028&spn=0.003325,0.009624&z=17&layer=c&cbll=49.275327,-123.220177&panoid=fTWVAuYy1TXt1zJ1SwXtgw&cbp=12,282.32,,0,5

 

or tiny URL http://tiny.cc/wv93x

 

In this stretch of the street, if you face north, I'd say this guy has been letting us down with the laurel hedge. It's way too puny. :lol: He needs hedge therapy to get that thing taller.

 

Can someone post a link to a google street view of these open neighbourhoods? (not your own! just something representative pls. I'm curious to see.)

[mom2abcd]

What about having a trampoline? Would the insurance company be happier if you had a fence around your trampoline?

[TravelingChris]

I have never lived in a house that didn't have either a fence or a hedgerow. I can't live in houses without fences or hedgerows because of dogs. I don't want to live in those houses over here because of deer. I don't like deer- they eat your flowers.