Are girls REALLY that much harder than boys to raise?

[fairfarmhand]

Honestly, what is your experience in this? I have 3 girls and a boy and my second dd is the easiest child.

[Chris in VA]

I had one boy who was hard as a child but easy as a teen, one completely the opposite, and now have one 10 yodd left.

She's way more emotionally intense--sensitive to embarrassment, hormonal crying, etc. She's also funny, helpful, deep (in a 10 yo way), affectionate, and easy to correct. IDK. Maybe the storm is coming! lol

I do think birth order has a lot to do with it, too.

[RegGuheert]

... I won't, since it doesn't match our experience. I would say that DD17 has been our easiest child to raise and that DD7 is not our most difficult child to raise.

 

But is it OK if I continue to tell MomsInTheGarden that they really are much harder to raise? :D

[musicmommy]

Since we only have boys, I'm not really an expert in this area. What I was told though was that the boys are more difficult when younger, but get easier with age and that girls are a bit the opposite. This was a huge generalization. Two of my boys have been extremely easy, but the 3rd...wow! He's challenged every aspect of parenting that we thought we had a handle on.

[Pamela H in Texas]

All kids are individuals. And I think that the individuality of the parent/s also play a part.

[JenC3]

I will say right now boys are way harder to raise, but then again mine's almost 4 and a joy well as a challenge.

[Ellie]

And I have only girls. :-) But I'd happily be the mother of all girls all over again. :-)

[Brigitte]

I think it all depends on what the adults perceive to be easier to handle. Girls are more emotional and boys more physical. If you handle emotions well, but can't stand rough & tumble, you will think girls are easier. If you can handle lots of physical activity, but get brought down by high emotional stakes, you are going to think boys are easier.

 

Our experience working in boarding schools plays that out very well. We lived in boys' dorms and girls'. The boys would fight one minute and be best friends again the next. The girls held grudges that lasted ages. I could handle the physical stuff of the boys, but not the girls drama. I would take a dorm of 100 boys before I would take a dorm with 10 girls. But, I know other faculty would choose the exact opposite.

 

Funny I ended up with only girls in my own home!

[Night Elf]

I think each gender comes with its own set of challenges. I think personality plays a large part in how a person grows up as well.

 

If I had to compare my boy and my girls, I'd say he was the easier child. He doesn't ask for or need much from me on a personal level. My son hasn't seemed to change with puberty.

 

If I had to compare my two girls, they are very different in what they need. Their changes at puberty have played a big part in their developing personalities. They are both delightful, obviously, but dd17 has always been an easier less maintenance type of girl. My dd12 has always been more of a high maintanence chicklet.

 

Of course, maybe birth order should be thrown in there somewhere too. Hmm... :)

[mktkcb]

OH MY GOODNESS!! I think we have the same (but exactly opposite-se*ed) children. How funny :o). My oldest was Extremely difficult (hyper/intense/impulsive/mild spd) till about age 13/14, then became a dream (responsible/self controlled/uber logical now 18), second dd isn't hyper like the others, but is a very typical teen & definitely more touchy now (age 16). Youngest ds is 13....musician, VERY emotional, very sensitive/touchy, easily flies off the handle, hates being told what to do, mildly spd as well.....but has a very sweet heart. He loves animals, deeply desires to do what is right (even when he knows he's gonna lose it again...sigh).....he is just a quirky guy. As hard as dd1, but a little different. To answer the OP's question....I don't think one sex is any more difficult than any other. Totally depends on the personality of the child.

[hornblower]

I have one of each & I don't think gender is as big an issue as I suspect birth order is.

[Mommyfaithe]

Honestly, what is your experience in this? I have 3 girls and a boy and my second dd is the easiest child.

 

I have 3 girls and 4 boys...and have not seen "difficulty" in raising as a boy/girl thing, but rather a personality thing.

 

My youngest ds is by FAR the most difficult so far...sigh....

 

I have 2 high strung girls and one who was very mellow. My ds's are 2:2. with the youngest the most high strung.

 

~Faithe

[SilverMoon]

If we had stopped with just our oldest two children, I would have wholeheartedly said, "Absolutely." My oldest two were on completely opposite sides of the difficult spectrum as littles. We've since had another boy and two more girls. Now I'll say it depends on the kids' personality and hardwiring. :) I'd rank the little girls with their brothers for difficulty parenting. Those oldest two are now tweens, and the playing field has pretty much been leveled, though they're still polar opposites.

[BridgeTea]

I think it all depends on what the adults perceive to be easier to handle. Girls are more emotional and boys more physical. If you handle emotions well, but can't stand rough & tumble, you will think girls are easier. If you can handle lots of physical activity, but get brought down by high emotional stakes, you are going to think boys are easier.

 

 

 

 

:iagree: 100%

 

I LOVE my girls, but I was always more at peace on the days they felt like wrestling instead of crying or screaming. I have had to be careful not to get wrapped up in their drama at times. It wears me out if I let it. So, yes, my perception is that boys are easier for me.

[fairfarmhand]

My oldest dd was/is the most emotional, with dd#2 being the easiest. Ds#4 and dd#3 are somewhere in the middle.

 

I think dd#1 is definitely going to be the hardest.

[hsbeth]

I only have girls, but have taught many boys. In general boys seem more physically active,which sometimes leads to trouble. Many girls can be quite emotional. I think a parents perception is based on their skills and preference for dealing with gender differences. Birth order seems to play into behavior quite a bit as well. My older children are much more independent, which can lead to some power struggles. My younger ones tend to be less compliant and have a bit less initiative which cause struggles of a different kind.

[Mommyfaithe]

I always compare it somewhat to dogs and cats with boys being more puppy-like: chewing up shoes...running out of the gate...pooping where they shouldn't, but really loving you at the end of the day. Now those pups come in many different breeds and temperments, but they are still: Love the Mom!

 

Girls mine at least) seem more catlike: cleaner, more interested in appearances, somewhat calculating. They are nice and cuddly one minute, but watch out for those claws. They feel they have graced our home by their very presence. Even my mellow one who naps and lies around like the queen Kitty...LOL!

 

Now, I love my cat and he seems pleased as punch to own me...and I love my doggie who wags her tail off when I walk in the door and seems to only want to be with me ....even when she is chewing up my sneakers or peeing on the rug.

 

 

LOL!

 

My girls and boys seem similar to that...

 

Faithe

[Dandelion]

I think it's mostly a factor of the child's temperament/personality and the relative "fit" with the parent's temperament/personality rather than gender.

 

Having said that, my DS is my challenging/spirited/intense/you name it child and my DD is sweet, mellow and easy to raise. Of course, they're still young so this could change. I'm hoping that the adage of "boys are challenging when younger and then become easier in their teens" is true!! :)

[MomsintheGarden]

... I won't, since it doesn't match our experience. I would say that DD17 has been our easiest child to raise and that DD7 is not our most difficult child to raise.

 

But is it OK if I continue to tell MomsInTheGarden that they really are much harder to raise? :D

 

REALLY? Are you kidding? Do you really think DD 17 has been the easiest to raise?:001_huh:

 

I would say that boys and girls are both hard to raise, and that we are all entitled to our own opinions.:001_smile:

 

Love,

GardenMom

[lllll]

For me, it had more to do with the personality of each kid. Because I'm not a talker, and 3 of our dc (2 ds's + 1 dd) are talkers - I found those dc more challenging. When they are upset, they talk. And talk, and talk .... Something I know they need to do - but exhausting, nonetheless.

[LibraryLover]

I think innate personality and personal neuro quirks, and how that all meshes ( or doesn't) with parents is more compelling than gender wrt raising children. I have a child who pushes all my very patient buttons, but does nothing of the sort to my dh. Which is good, right? ;)

[Irene Lynn]

I don't have a lot of experience, but I CAN say that our dd was and is easy to rear than most girls that I hear about. She will be 17 this summer and is one of those kids that has never related to kids her age. That has its blessings! lol No real social drama at all. She does have hormones that make her moody or morose at times, but no big drama at all. She is and has always been very cooperative. We are still close and have not had any really rough times. We have had some less than stellar moments, but they are barely a bump on the scene of her life, things that others might not even have noted.

 

Our son is more like me, so I wouldn't be surprised if we have a more difficult time with him. He is definitely harder as a young child!!

[Blossom'sGirl]

I don't know since I have all boys, but they sure are hard on the house.

[lllll]

I don't know since I have all boys' date=' but they sure are hard on the house.[/quote']

 

 

:lol: Same here. Our ds's were much harder on 'things' than our dd's were. :)

[Susan in TX]

I have 8 girls and one boy (the boy is sandwiched in the middle) and my experience is that my one boy was/is more trouble than all eight girls combined!

 

That said, I am the only girl in my family (youngest of 6) and my Mom said that boys were much easier than girls. She loved me dearly, but one girl was enough for her!

 

Susan in TX

[K in MI]

I have 3 boys and 3 girls (14-25). I don't think girls are harder than boys; they're just different. Both can be stinkers, wreck havoc on the house, and cause contention. My 2nd dd can out-burp her brothers, and my 14yo ds is very hormonal/emotional; my 1st dd kicked a hole in the wall and broke 2 windows, and my oldest ds spent hours repairing damage he inflicted on our home. However, both can be sweet, kind, helpful, and peaceful and tons of fun!:D. I love 'em all, and love/hate things about different stages. You'll do just fine -- and so will they.

[ncmomo3]

I have 3 girls, 13, 14, 15, and in all honesty, they have been very easy.

[phathui5]

The boys have been easier for me so far.

[Barb_]

I have 8 girls and one boy (the boy is sandwiched in the middle) and my experience is that my one boy was/is more trouble than all eight girls combined!

 

That said, I am the only girl in my family (youngest of 6) and my Mom said that boys were much easier than girls. She loved me dearly, but one girl was enough for her!

 

Susan in TX

 

I think you hit the nail on the head here. I think boys vs girls is more of a parenting style issue. Girls tend to need more talking when parenting while boys need more action. This goes for discipline as well as for relationship building. I'm the type that likes to talk about interactions and subtext and get to the bottom of things. My girls eat that up, especially as they get older. My boy just wants to bash things together. I'm not the bash things together kind of parent :)

 

Barb

 

ETA: I don't know how I missed this on the first read through:

I think it all depends on what the adults perceive to be easier to handle. Girls are more emotional and boys more physical. If you handle emotions well, but can't stand rough & tumble, you will think girls are easier. If you can handle lots of physical activity, but get brought down by high emotional stakes, you are going to think boys are easier.

 

Our experience working in boarding schools plays that out very well. We lived in boys' dorms and girls'. The boys would fight one minute and be best friends again the next. The girls held grudges that lasted ages. I could handle the physical stuff of the boys, but not the girls drama. I would take a dorm of 100 boys before I would take a dorm with 10 girls. But, I know other faculty would choose the exact opposite.

 

Funny I ended up with only girls in my own home!

 

I totally agree with you, but I don't necessarily agree that it's emotions that spur girls on. Rather it's the need to talk, verbalize, and communicate. I have a daughter who is much more logical than she is emotional who is the one who seems to need to talk things out the most. Emotions completely confuse her and she needs help navigating. Most females have superior verbal and interpersonal skills and are as driven to use them as most boys are driven to take things apart.

 

Barb

Edited April 13, 2010 by Barb F. PA in AZ

[KidsHappen]

Well, I have five girls, two step-dd and one son. The one son gave me more trouble than all the rest combined. :glare: I will say that each child has their own special challanges but I am pretty happy with where all my girls are at and I think that my son is finally on the right road. I still have two more girls left to navigate the teens years though and they are in PS. :001_unsure:

[Peela]

My girl is easy as pie. She was born first to prepare me and dull me into a false sense of security that I really was a great mother and this is fun and beautiful. Then came my boy. If I had had him first, not sure I would have had any more kids :)

[IsabelC]

FWIW I have 2 daughters and a son, and my boy is way harder than the other two combined. I'd second Dandelion's comment.

[Jugglin'5]

I have three girls (15,14,9) and two boys (12, 6). So far, I find the boys easier, but I expect that could change when they get old enought to drive, etc.! I can deal with the roughhousing, the extra energy that needs to be worked off, etc. The girls wear me out with the need to talk through EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong - I am glad that they want to talk to me and seek my advice and opinion, but I am exhausted at the end of the day. :D

 

I have a friend who also has a pretty equal mix of boys and girls, and an even larger family. She loves hashing it out all day with her girls, but can't take the noise and roughhousing that her boys dish out. She calls me "The Boy Mom" and I call her "The Girl Mom". :lol: