Is my daughter the only one who hates wearing bras?

[Ravin]

I detest bras. Depending on my activity and what shirt I'm wearing (some don't fit right without a bra, unfortunately), I wear a camisole (no shelf) or a sports bra. The bra (when I wear one) comes off as soon as I get home. Underwires and any bra that doesn't fit very well can limit flow to your lymph nodes and thus impede your immune system.

 

Let your DD be comfortable.

 

I highly recommend this website for education and discussion about breasts and what's normal and what's not: http://www.007b.com/

 

As for slips, I can't stand having that much synthetic yuck against my skin, so I have a few cotton slips (made myself or bought online), but only wear them under skirts that are less than opaque (so not under denim or corduroy, for example, or even my pantweight khaki skirt), or synthetic (I have 1 skirt that there's no way I could wear it and have the fabric against my skin!). Also, many younger girls now wear tights or leggings under a skirt or short dress, which is modest without a slip. Then there are the myriad ones who wear skirts too short to wear slips under, and bare legs, but that's another issue!

[Wheres Toto]

I absolutely hate bras and only wear them if I absolutely must. I am only a 36B now. I am 40 years old and do not sag. I have probably worn a bra only about 5% of the time in the past 20 year and nursed three babies (probably hit a C cup nursing). Unless I wear a padded, push-up bra there is no difference to my boobs bra'd or braless. I think the sagginess has to do with heredity more than anything although I have found that if I keep up on pectoral exercises they are a little perkier. I sometimes long for slightly larger breasts but I would hate having to wear a bra all the time.

 

My oldest is about a 36C/D right now. She will wear a regular bra with a sports bra over it. She is a dancer and this is how many of them wear them for the support. I leave it up to her but she does occasionally wear them to bed and I try to discourage that.

 

I think sports bras or camisole/tanks with the built-in liners are a good compromise. They provide enough support and coverage for decency without being confining. Of course, if she's into any sports more support is definitely needed.

[Haiku]

My dd really resisted wearing both a bra and deodorant when she was about 13. She smelled pretty bad! I forced her to wear a bra for a few months, and then I told her it was up to her. I emailed her teacher and told her we were experimenting with natural consequences. After a few days of getting comments at school, she chose to wear a bra. The deodorant thing didn't consolidate until she was almost 15. Sh got mad at me one day because I put the car window down when it was cold outside, but she smelled so bad I couldn't stand being in a closed-up car with her. I didn't do it to be mean or make a point, but after that she got better about wearing deodorant.

 

Do I wish women could get away without wearing bras? Yeah. Can they really get away with it? No. Is it an issue I feel compelled to put a lot of energy into? Nope.

 

Tara

[AuntPol]

I hate bras too. I wear them only in public. My husband constantly teases me because I am pulling off my bra as soon as I can when we get home.

 

I'm endowed nicely (DH calles me Chesty McGee lol) and at almost 42, I don't sag at all and I haven't had any work. I think it's genetics. My mother is 62 and doesn't sag.

 

 

As far as slips lol -my mother make a good side living selling slips on ebay. She buys everyone she can find at thrift stores and yard sales and resells them. That is her speciality area.

[Anstar]

Nobody here seems to like underwires. Of the ones I have, I certainly prefer the well fitting underwires head and shoulders about the rest!

 

Of course, I had to spend a big chunk of change to get wires that lie flat against my ribcage, come far enough around the side to completely enclose all of the tissue (on me and many people, they extend a loooong way into the underarm area), and really fit my shape. I had the funniest experience when I was looking for nursing, and the professionals were explaining U wires, J wires, and everything in between. They even had professional descriptive labels for how they hang, how they're shaped, where they're fullest at, etc.

 

All that to say, I like my underwires best. ;)

[DarlaS]

So do most of you wear bras in the house or have your dd's do the same?

 

I could not stand wearing one at home. Just wondering. I understand the sagging issue etc...but how can you wear one all.the.time??

 

At home I wear a cotton sports bra - the kind that give the uni-booK look (no separate cups). It has no hardware and is one size too big. It's literally the top half of a tank top.

 

I am small also--what I call an "A-" :glare:

 

After four pregnancies & 8+ years total of nursing, I can't be without one. I compromise by keeping them until they nearly fall apart (the ones I wear at night anyway). They really do get quite comfy before they are trash-worthy. :D

[runamuk]

It looks like I'm one of the few that wears a bra at home. I have heavy, pendulous books and it's too uncomfortable to not wear one. I wear an underwire with molded cups and am very pleased with the way it keeps things up. I wear a non-underwire bra at night to keep them in place.

 

For me, it wasn't a matter of lack of support that caused my sagging. I've always had heavy books - more so when I was nursing. It's genetic, though. My mom, grandma and daughter are in the same boat.

 

eta: Our oldest wears a 36DD and has recently started wearing a bra. For years, she wore tanks and camis with the shelf-bra built-in, but started complaining a few months ago that her neck and upper back were hurting. We went bra shopping and she's wearing good, supportive bras and is pain-free.

Edited April 8, 2010 by runamuk

[Love2Smile]

I am personally not convinced about the sagging issues. If you wear a bra, you are not toning or training the muscles and fibres that do support you. You do their job for them with a bra. So then when you don't wear a bra...flopsies.

I am a C cup and at 42 not doing too badly at all- definitely not pointing downwards yet! And I never wear a bra when I dont feel I need to- at least half the year. As a teen, I was a rebel and never wore a bra. My aunt told me I would get breast cancer if I didnt- I was smart enough to know she didnt know what she was talking about. And I have seen plenty of articles over the years to suggest you are more likely to get breast cancer if you do wear a restrictive bra because of the blockage of lymph drainage.

 

How does anyone really know if their booKs went south quicker because they didn't habitually support them ? it may seem "obvious" but I am not convinced because of my own experience.

And really, I would certainly sacrifice perkey booKs if it meant being comfortable versus being uncomfortable every. single. day. Really- the things we do for vanity!

 

Now, I do undnerstand the comfort issue for those more well endowed, and that's a personal issue. I have a cousin who has told me more than once, Never, Ever wish for big booKs.

:iagree:Well said!

[KidsHappen]

My mother was not a regular bra wearer, nor am I or any of my dds. My three oldests dd's are 40 DDD, 38 DD & 34 DDD. They were all highly resistant to starting to wear them in the first place. Some didn't start until as later as 14 and they still don't wear them unless they need to. The 13 yr. ols is small like me 36B and could get away without a bra but she is the only one that wears them consistantly. Bras are just plain uncommfortable. My dd were all resistant to showering, shaving, deorderizing and all of the other primpy girls stuff. It took quite a while to get them on board. They are all fairly modest though. Most everything is fairly well covered so I don't have to worry about that.They usually layer tanks with tees.

[mommaduck]

I hate wearing bras also and go bra free at home as much as possible. I would love for us to get back to pre 1930's when bras didn't exist (I was looking at a 192O or 1930 something photo at church last week and you could tell that the women had no bras or supportive undergarments on under their dresses...that was the norm!). Corsets, properly used, have even proven to be healthier than bras!

 

A couple of suggestions would be a sports bra or a chemise with a "bra shelf or inserts" (I buy these at Walmart). There are no wires and no bands around the ribcage with the latter.

[MomtoCandJ]

I don't like bras either, I get a rash from certain metals and all metal under wire bras have one of those certain metals. I usually wear the tank tops with the built in support, with no padding I am a 34B. Can't wear one to bed, to uncomfortable unless it's a tank top.

[joannqn]

Sadly my 13 year old is a double D already and we have a miserable time both finding decent bras that work with her other medical condition, (pressure uticaria). We are already talking reduction.

 

Oh, that would be difficult. I'm hoping to have the money, or insurance, for a reduction when I'm complete sure I'm done having children.

 

Nobody here seems to like underwires. Of the ones I have, I certainly prefer the well fitting underwires head and shoulders about the rest!

 

:iagree:

 

I prefer under wire bras as well. When nursing, they always suggest wireless bras but I hate them. They always curl up under my breasts and provide so little support no matter how supportive, well-made, or expensive they are. Then I sweat and the combination of the curled area rubbing and sweat causes a painful rash. I've even discovered that I'll get breast infections regardless of what kind of bra I wear or even if I'm not wearing one at all. I see no difference, so I wear under wire.

[Nakia]

I hate wearing bras. I NEVER wear one at home, but when we go out in public, these size "D-sags" have to be put in their place...

[Retired]

So do most of you wear bras in the house or have your dd's do the same?

 

I could not stand wearing one at home. Just wondering. I understand the sagging issue etc...but how can you wear one all.the.time??

 

 

I hate the bra and am sure men designed the d*mn things. I have to wear them at home now because I have 2 teen boys. They don't want to see moms nipples through her shirts.

 

Now during the winner when layers work, I will not wear one at home.

 

when my boys were little, I was all about going free:D

[EKS]

Since I'm not a 36D I may not be the best one to give advice, but I just wear sports bras all the time. I can't stand regular bras.

[KS_]

You might check out Decent Exposures:

http://decentexposures.com/

 

I wear one of their bras daily, but have some slightly more supportive underwire bras that I wear out (usually with more dressy clothes, like for church, but *only* because I found them clearanced out for $2.99 each! I vary between 32 F and G). I've worn the Decent Exposures ones since I was pregnant with my first and they're very comfortable. I can't find sports bras at regular stores that fit me, and they custom make whatever size you need.

[mommaduck]

I hate the bra and am sure men designed the d*mn things. I have to wear them at home now because I have 2 teen boys. They don't want to see moms nipples through her shirts.

 

Now during the winner when layers work, I will not wear one at home.

 

when my boys were little, I was all about going free:D

Many designs may have male involvement, but the "bra" was invented by a female during the "flapper" era. All that flapping, she sewed some hankerchiefs together to keep her Books from flying out of control LOL!

[Sahamamama]

What's a bra?

 

:001_huh:

 

(I hate them).

[chadzwife]

<<Never, Ever wish for big booKs>>

Awwww, ima still wish lol--they would be fun! :o

[chadzwife]

ummm i put : p

not an embarrasment symbol --hmmmm...lol

[Joanne]

I'm terribly sad that there are 7 pages, most of which include posts about wanting to avoid "sag".

 

Honestly, it's all an artificial construct. I'm a woman whose lived 44 years, birthed and nursed 3 kids, gained, lost and gained weight. I am rallying against the youth culture.

 

Why should "not sagging" be a goal?

 

I put my h cup girls in a hold because it's expected. I wish I didn't feel the need.

[Sputterduck]

Like the Seinfield episode' date=' my "girls" need "homes." They go every which way when I let them out and I need to keep them off my rib cage (lift and separate!) or I get a rash. I sleep in a tight camisole with a shelf bra.

 

I guess I read too many National Geographic magazines when I was a kid :eek:, cause there was never a time I was willing to go bra less for the sake of comfort.[/quote']

 

 

Exactly. All you have to is watch some shows about tribes (by far my favorite thing to watch) and see what happens when endowed women never put on a bra!

[Love2Smile]

LOL...I never expected this thread to get so much attention!

 

bottom line, I don't care about sagging, I care about comfort.

I will make my dd wear a bra in public etc...but I have given up in the home. Why should I make her if I hate them too! LOL

[Joanne]

Exactly. All you have to is watch some shows about tribes (by far my favorite thing to watch) and see what happens when endowed women never put on a bra!

 

So, my question is on what actual, real, intrinsic value is "sag" to be avoided? So WHAT if we sag with age?

 

It seems to me I earned every inch of sag.

[Love2Smile]

So, my question is on what actual, real, intrinsic value is "sag" to be avoided? So WHAT if we sag with age?

 

It seems to me I earned every inch of sag.

Good question! Does "sag" really matter in the large scheme of life?

I think not! Bring on the sag!

[RoughCollie]

Now during the winter when layers work, I will not wear one at home.

 

That, and not having to carry a purse because I stuff everything into my coat pockets, are my favorite things about winter.

 

I admit it. When possible, I am a sag hag. :-) I crack myself up!

Edited April 8, 2010 by RoughCollie

[Peela]

Good question! Does "sag" really matter in the large scheme of life?

I think not! Bring on the sag!

 

Absolutely!

I dont sag very much- certainly more than when younger but not a lot. and for some reason I went from a B to a C cup after I finished breastfeeding for 5 years- but I honestly don't think all the sag in the world would entice me to be uncomfortable very day.

 

Those pictures of native people are in my head also...but honestly, how different are they from us? We just cover up and wear bras, so we dont see ourselves. If you see pictures of older women's booKs online, most sag. So what? As Joanne commented, its time to let go of our youth worshipping culture. I read about an anthropologist who visited one of those native cultures, and she wrote that the young women walked around pulling on their own booKs in order to get them to sag more quickly- because in those cultures, age is revered, not youth. We have it all screwy.

 

For those who wear bras at night time as well as all day- google bras and breast cancer. There is some information about lymph drainage that I think it is important you should have at least read about, to make informed decisions. There are apparently no valid scientifc studies, but there have been large studies. And for a long tme, there were no scientifically valid studies linking smoking and lung cancer, either,and people scoffed at the idea. Here is one article:

http://www.all-natural.com/bras.html

 

 

BTW I am entirely heartened by this thread. I really thought I am a freakishly rare woman who hates wearing a bra with a passion. I am surprised and quite thrilled that there are so many of us who secretly don't wear bras under our winter cothes, and don't wear them at home.

[joannqn]

So, my question is on what actual, real, intrinsic value is "sag" to be avoided? So WHAT if we sag with age?

 

It seems to me I earned every inch of sag.

 

 

I don't care that much about sag. Mine hang down almost to my natural waist line, though I do have a high waist. I think it is genetic; my mom only wore a B cup bra but she hung...a lot.

 

For me, wearing bras, as uncomfortable as they are, is about comfort. They help my clothes fit right; when my clothes don't fit right, I'm uncomfortable. I have a sweater that I haven't been able to wear because I didn't have a properly-fitting, supportive bra. I bought a new bra and the sweater suddenly fits again. Sometimes that discomfort comes from the fabric not laying right against my body. Sometimes its having my breasts hanging down to my waist and swinging all over the place in public. Sometimes bras help me feel more comfortable physically. When I don't wear a bra, I sweat profusely where my hanging breasts rest against my chest. I find the sweatiness uncomfortable, and it leads to painful rashes. Even with bras, it's bad during the summer.

[IsabelC]

So what if somebody prefers not to wear a bra? Of course there will be lots of advice that it's necessary. Because many people profit from bras being made and sold, whereas nobody makes a profit from non bra wearers. Surely a child of that age (or a young woman of that age) can choose for herself? If she finds it more comfortable without a bra, what's the problem?

[CAMom]

I am a bra wearer.:) I'm just much, much more comfortable with one on.

 

I am curious, though, for modesty sake. Do you all feel it's modest to not have on a bra in public? Really, I find myself uncomfortable when I'm standing before a woman with no bra. I don't like seeing nipple or anything else in public. I also wonder for men's sake.:001_huh:

 

My mom let go of her bra in the 60's and didn't look back. She basically wears t-shirts and jeans every day and no bra. My poor husband has said on more than one occasion that he wishes my mom would wear a bra. When I was getting married and she asked what I wanted her to wear I said, "a bra! Please!" She wasn't going to wear one but ended up honoring my request.

 

So, do the non bra wearers not see modesty as an issue?

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

I don't care that much about sag. Mine hang down almost to my natural waist line, though I do have a high waist. I think it is genetic; my mom only wore a B cup bra but she hung...a lot.

 

For me, wearing bras, as uncomfortable as they are, is about comfort. They help my clothes fit right; when my clothes don't fit right, I'm uncomfortable. I have a sweater that I haven't been able to wear because I didn't have a properly-fitting, supportive bra. I bought a new bra and the sweater suddenly fits again. Sometimes that discomfort comes from the fabric not laying right against my body. Sometimes its having my breasts hanging down to my waist and swinging all over the place in public. Sometimes bras help me feel more comfortable physically. When I don't wear a bra, I sweat profusely where my hanging breasts rest against my chest. I find the sweatiness uncomfortable, and it leads to painful rashes. Even with bras, it's bad during the summer.

 

Same here. It's very painful to get a rash underneath your breast. I also retain fluid during pms and a free-swinging, pendulus heavy breast is very painful to deal with. It's not just about vanity....

[Joanne]

I am curious, though, for modesty sake. Do you all feel it's modest to not have on a bra in public? Really, I find myself uncomfortable when I'm standing before a woman with no bra. I don't like seeing nipple or anything else in public. I also wonder for men's sake.

 

It's a cultural expectation. There is nothing *inherently* immodest about not having a bra or about the fact that we have nipples that are apparent if we don't have a bra or undershirt.

 

I'm not one to care or give time to "for men's sake". I believe that God made men visual and women's bodies alluring on purpose, not some cosmic, never ending joke.

[Joanne]

Same here. It's very painful to get a rash underneath your breast. I also retain fluid during pms and a free-swinging, pendulus heavy breast is very painful to deal with. It's not just about vanity....

 

I'm a cup size g or h. I get the health and comfort related reasons. If I were in a different life situation, I'd consider reductions due to my back and permentent indentations in my shoulders. I haven't had a decent, appropriate, acutually fitting bra in decades. Really.

 

But most of the time "sag" is mentioned, it comes from a youth centered expectation that we not look like the aged women we are.

[chadzwife]

I don't want my breasts to sag. I don't want to look so much more than my true age, sorry. I can wear a sweater and I'm not big either and you can tell I don't have a bra on. A t-shirt and I look gross.

Someday I'm getting bigger and perky ones....I'll look like that cartoon of the old married couple and she's sagging everywhere but one--"plastic surgery is 4ever" it says (her chest is quite "up"!) but dang it, I'll be happy! :)

My silver hair, I can deal with...most days. But not the loss of my femininity at such a young age as I did. Just been waiting to be done with breastfeeding and then hitting the lottery of course! Isn't being feminine whatever you as a woman, say it is? I think the ones on here who are like, eh, who cares, it doesn't define me, are just fine with that thot of themselves. If they're comfortable with themselves that's what matters!

I, however, don't think that for me.

[jld]

I'm really impressed that so many gals here feel comfortable not wearing bras, at least sometimes. I hate them, too, and don't always wear one in public. I do tend to wear loose-fitting tops, but still, I went years without wearing one (regardless of what I was wearing) after starting to breastfeed and reading about a possible link between bra-wearing and cancer.

 

I don't worry about men and whatever concerns they may have about my clothing. Dh has always said he just wants me to be comfortable. And breastfeeding has always been so important to him that he wanted to do whatever he could to be supportive of that.

 

My mom (born in 1925) told me her mother (born in 1897) was completely against bra-wearing for health reasons, and refused to wear one (though my mother was mortified by that, and always wore one herself).

 

My daughter always wears one in public. Her choice.

[Love2Smile]

Well I am really "impressed" this post is now 9 pages! LOL

 

FTR...I do wear one ALWAYS in public, even in winter, but now that i see some of you don't in heavy clothes maybe I wont.

 

My dd does wear either a bra or tank in public also.

[emubird]

I've wondered about this breast cancer/bra wearing link for some time. I have never seen HOW they did the study, which would make me dismiss it. It wouldn't be surprising that there might be a correlation between wearing a bra and breast cancer, but if one thinks about all the things that might cause that correlation, one suddenly gets very skeptical about the results. I would suspect that older women and obese women are more likely to wear bras -- but are more likely to get breast cancer just because they're older and obese. Suddenly, one has a correlation.

 

But correlation does not mean causation.

 

Here's a link addressing this:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MED/content/MED_6_1x_Underwire_Bras.asp?sitearea=MED

 

Did the original study even try to control for factors such as age, weight, and breast size? (And even if they did try to control it statistically, it's still very easy to get things confounded with each other if the trials weren't randomized.)

[CAMom]

It's a cultural expectation. There is nothing *inherently* immodest about not having a bra or about the fact that we have nipples that are apparent if we don't have a bra or undershirt.

 

I'm not one to care or give time to "for men's sake". I believe that God made men visual and women's bodies alluring on purpose, not some cosmic, never ending joke.

 

Sorry, I'm coming back late. I was working like a dog at a speech and debate tournament for a few days.:)

 

Yes, God made men visual and women's bodies alluring on purpose but it's also pretty clear that our bodies are reserved for our husband or wife. And husbands are told to be satisfied with their wife's breasts all the days of their lives not the breasts of everyone else. ;)

[TracyR]

Not just daughters but adults hate wearing them as well. I hate wearing bras. I'm a size 42 D and look like something from the National Geographic Channel. I will wear sports bras to 'perk' them up a bit. I wear no bra at home, only if I go out.

 

My oldest is getting to where she needs to start wearing one. But I've been laxed about it, and she has refused to wear one anyways. She is going to need to this fall when she attends school. I just ask she at least wear a sports bra because she will have gym class and every one knows that nothing is worse than what happens when you have boobs and have to run. Ack. Other than that I don't care if she doesn't wear one any other time.

[Love2Smile]

I cannot believe this thread is still going! It's like the energizer bunny!

[TracyR]

I've wondered about this breast cancer/bra wearing link for some time. I have never seen HOW they did the study, which would make me dismiss it. It wouldn't be surprising that there might be a correlation between wearing a bra and breast cancer, but if one thinks about all the things that might cause that correlation, one suddenly gets very skeptical about the results. I would suspect that older women and obese women are more likely to wear bras -- but are more likely to get breast cancer just because they're older and obese. Suddenly, one has a correlation.

 

But correlation does not mean causation.

 

Here's a link addressing this:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MED/content/MED_6_1x_Underwire_Bras.asp?sitearea=MED

 

Did the original study even try to control for factors such as age, weight, and breast size? (And even if they did try to control it statistically, it's still very easy to get things confounded with each other if the trials weren't randomized.)

 

I don't think that bras cause breast cancer. Growing up I had a neighbor that never wore a bra, and she was a VERY big chested woman. She is probably in her 70's or so now and had breast cancer probably about 5yrs ago or so and it was not because she wore a bra. She literally never wore one. I think it was because of maybe her age, the fact she was overweight and had thyroid problems.

[Desert Rat]

Well, I was her size at 15 and didn't hate wearing bras but I certainly resented it! I was watching a Pink concert on TV tonight with my dh and said when I get mine reworked I won't her booKs. :) Tiny.

[Peela]

 

So, do the non bra wearers not see modesty as an issue?

 

Modesty is not really the issue for me, I dont think- as far as I am concerned, my breasts are natural and I dont have beliefs that suggest I need to hide them for anything but social reasons. I cover them because I dont want the attention, and I wear a bra under tshirts etc so as not to attract attention. I prefer if I am talking to a guy especially, that he looks at my face, not my chest. That's about it - its not a moral or modesty issue- it's an adaptation to the rather screwed up society we live in. I dont have a problem with nudity though, either- but I am not going to walk down the street naked.

 

 

I have been away for the weekend. I am amazed this thread is still going!

[Peela]

I don't think that bras cause breast cancer. Growing up I had a neighbor that never wore a bra, and she was a VERY big chested woman. She is probably in her 70's or so now and had breast cancer probably about 5yrs ago or so and it was not because she wore a bra. She literally never wore one. I think it was because of maybe her age, the fact she was overweight and had thyroid problems.

 

Um....you can't dismiss a study because of your neighbour. even if the study is not a brilliant one. Thats like saying that because your grandfather lived to 100 and he smoked like a chimney, there is nothing to all the studies that statistically link smoking with lung cancer.

I am not saying the bra study was necessarily a conclusive one- I was just presenting some information for consideration. Since most women wear bras, I don't think isolated cases warrant dismissal of the whole concept and connection- I prefer to have all the information I can when making decisions about my health.