Have you ever had an office worker in a dr.'s office *SCREAM* at you?

[gardenschooler]

I just had the day from hades at our oral surgeon's office. When my dd had her wisdom teeth out, I was allowed back (in the hallway, not the room). Today, for minor surgery, I wasn't.

 

When asked why, the office manager got all cobra-necked on me. I was just trying to clarify office policy, and understand *why*. She wouldn't answer me clearly, so I tried rephrasing my question. She just started yelling, and told me,"You need to let her grow up. She's a big girl."

She also went on to tell me that she has four kids, and she had to let hers go back there alone, blah, blah, blah. She was waving her arms and hollering. It was very embarrassing.

 

What?!?

 

I hate it when people don't answer the question asked, instead answer the question to the assumption they've jumped to! (Add that to my pet peeve list!) I wasn't saying what she thought I was saying - I just wanted to know why the office policy had apparently changed. She just kept telling me that no, I had never been back there during surgery, and I must be mistaken (?), and insinuated I was overprotective in some regard. (BTW, she doesn't know I hs, and I think she thought I just have one child, not that that matters).

 

When I saw that she had worked herself up into a frenzy and was just getting more wound up, I stopped asking and even tried to calm her down.

 

I've never seen anything like it, frankly. Well, I've seen people hot under the collar, but I guess I either didn't expect it or I underestimate how incredibly irritating I can be.

 

It was probably worsened by the fact that we'd had another problem earlier, and she got defensive. She kept insisting my dd was a new patient, but I very calmly stated she was not. After checking the files, she saw that yes, we had in fact been there before. But before she checked, she said, "Well, I've never seen you here before!"

 

Huh?

 

Bad day? Someone who maybe shouldn't be working with people? Or am I just an infuriating person?

 

I've already handled it (and we're definitely finding a new oral surgeon!), but I just wanted to know what on earth is the matter with people?!? Or is it me?

[Antonia]

She obviously needs a pill and a job where she doesn't deal with the public. You were much nicer than I would have been!

[CookieMonster]

Honey, I really don't think it was you. Really. It sounds as though the woman is the one with the problem.

 

Even if you were the most irritating mother-of-a-patient she'd ever seen, she shouldn't have reacted like that.

 

I have to say, that I've come a long way in regards to this sort of thing. In the past I would have been embarassed, quietly gone my way, and cried over it later. After it was all over I would have thought about the injustice of it all.

 

But nowadays, oh, Honey! I've found my ground. I would have let her know she had gotten out of line and I would have taken my dd out of there. :glare: If letting the office worker have it in a calm voice wasn't feasible, I still would have left with dd - and our potential business.

 

If the office situation is such as you described, I would be afraid of what mix-ups would happen to my dd. That's why I would remove her. My sister, in a similar situation ended up with two procedures done that were the wrong ones. So I guess it makes me extra careful.

 

And I don't want to let situations like that go anymore. I wouldn't be mean or nasty, despite the temptation, but I would let her know she was out of line.

 

Anyway, I'm glad you handled it and that all is well now.

[gardenschooler]

Really, I just tried to calm her down because I was growing afraid. She looked like she'd just completely lost it.

[Gretchen in NJ]

That is horrible. Maybe she needed one of these :chillpill: ? That is her job after all.

 

My father has Parkinson's disease. He has been having trouble lately, so he and my mother went to the doctor for help. After my mother described the difficulties my father has been having lately, the doctor got up and walked out of the room never to return again.:001_huh:

 

Gretchen

[LG Gone Wild]

I've already handled it (and we're definitely finding a new oral surgeon!), but I just wanted to know what on earth is the matter with people?!? Or is it me?

 

How did you handle it? I don't know what I would do in the face of craziness. It is so easy to say that one would do this or that but I doubt we really know until we do it.

 

Please tell me you at least complained to the owner!

[WTMindy]

that is strange. I would write a letter to the office manager in a heartbeat!! I can't imagine someone telling me that I can't be with my child during a surgery, or go ballistic because I asked about it? Huh!?

 

Very, very odd.

[Mamagistra]

LOL "Cobra necked?" Bwahaha! :lol: I am sorry, but that is hilarious!

 

I cannot speak to that sort of rude craziness, but it does seem to be proliferating. Did you read Kay in Cal's post about the doctor that went nuts and left in the middle of the appointment? Un. be.lievable.

 

:grouphug:

[Remudamom]

That's unbelievable. Did you walk out?

[Lakeside]

I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. But rest assured that it had nothing to do with you.

 

I had a similar experience with an office worker for the reproductive endocrinologist I was seeing. There had been a mix up with our insurance and the woman was telling me that I could not come in for the follow-up bloodwork unless I paid in cash before hand. (This was despite the fact that the bloodwork was mandatory due to the medication the doctor had prescribed AND the fact that they had received payment from the insurance company.) It was a nightmare. She was screaming, I was in tears...eventually I hung up. I did call the doctor's voice mail and tell him that I wouldn't be coming there anymore and why.

 

Good luck finding a new oral surgeon.

 

Shannon

[gardenschooler]

How did you handle it? I don't know what I would do in the face of craziness. It is so easy to say that one would do this or that but I doubt we really know until we do it.

 

Please tell me you at least complained to the owner!

 

I filled out a consumer complaint online. I felt ridiculous doing it, but I do want to at least let her boss know. I just stated that she became emotionally charged when asked to clarify an office policy.

[LG Gone Wild]

I filled out a consumer complaint online. I felt ridiculous doing it, but I do want to at least let her boss know. I just stated that she became emotionally charged when asked to clarify an office policy.

 

You could have at least stated she became CRAZY and was SHOUTING and was generally FRIGHTENING. :tongue_smilie:

[elegantlion]

That would make me ballistic!! I'd ask her who is paying the bill, IMO as long as I'm footing the bill I'll go where I please.

[gardenschooler]

That's unbelievable. Did you walk out?

 

No, I didn't. I probably should have. The thing is, I felt like the surgeon himself was fine, because she'd had her wisdom teeth out by him and it was all well and good. And the ortho has said we *have* to get this done ASAP (a chain from her braces came off, and they had to reattach it to her tooth).

 

There *was* a mix-up. She was supposed to have had this done last week, but after going to the appt., they told me it was just an exam. Because she'd never been there before, see. (And they still thought she had never been there this week!)

 

I've never seen this woman there before, but she claims she's worked there for 7 years. I didn't even get to see the surgeon himself today! A nurse came out and let me go back after it was all over, gave me her post-op instructions, and apologized for the office manager's behavior.

[GraceinMD]

[ Did you read Kay in Cal's post

 

Yes, I was going to suggest that maybe this kind lady (ahem) should be referred for new employment to Kay's dh's ex-doctor. Sheesh.

 

(Now, I did have a patient's family LOSE it with me once, insisting, screaming, that I *would* keep caring for their mom [despite the fact that they were moving her to another facility, in another town - a facility that I don't work at], that I was *on the hook* for her care and that I would *be her doctor* whether I wanted to or not. (Um, ok, NOT!, at that point!). I thought the family member was going to have a stroke! So, it sometimes goes both ways :001_smile:)

[kalanamak]

and everyone in the office just cringed every time she got going. I learned to ignore her.

[gardenschooler]

You could have at least stated she became CRAZY and was SHOUTING and was generally FRIGHTENING. :tongue_smilie:

 

I did use the word 'agitated'. I didn't want my complaint to look all emotional, though, so they'd take me seriously. I wanted to say A LOT more than I did!

 

I'm completely baffled by this behavior, but I'm baffled by a lot of things! At least her boss will know, and they'll do nothing about it, I'm sure. It didn't hurt my feelings or anything, because she was obviously *looney tunes*. I just wondered why *I* inspired such wrath. She didn't yell at anyone else. She even said that at one point, "Well, no one else has a problem with it!" (While she was still on the question I didn't ask).

 

But *whatever* on her. Or something!

[Elaine]

Oh, that's awful!

 

This happened to me one time. We had just moved and found a new dentist. They had a policy that parents could not go back to the rooms with their children and they were sneaky about getting you to "consent" to this.

 

When I got up to go back with my 7 year old son, a girl all of 15 stopped me. She informed me that I signed a paper saying that the boys could be seen without me being present. I told her that I did not sign a form saying that. We went back and forth, blah, blah, blah.

 

Turns out, I did sign the front of the form but did not look at the back where it said, with no place to sign that I agree, that my children could be seen without me.

 

I was the one who went "cobra-neck." The best part was when she yelled at me, "JEREMY IS A BIG BOY, HE CAN GET A CLEANING WITHOUT HIS MOMMY HOLDING HIS HAND."

 

Big, deep breath.

 

I said, "Well, you're a big girl, so can you please act like it and if you yell at me again, I will show you what a big girl I can be.":boxing_smiley:

[Paz]

I am sorry that you had to experience that. People just seem a lot more hostile these days. I don't think it was about you, she just felt like taking her anger out on someone. The most recent thing that happened to me like this was when my ds (17 at the time) was very sick. His regular Dr. had called in for him to get an emergency appt. with an ENT. I gave the receptionist my insurance card and she made a big deal about how it doesn't work, it isn't valid...talking to me like I was stupid. I told her we just used it at the other Dr. and it worked. She argued with me again. I looked at my son and said, "Well, we'll just have to leave if it doesn't work, won't we." He said, "Really?" I said, "What choice do we have?"

 

She then made a few calls, found out she was typing the number in wrong and just about fell over herself to apologize. The funny thing is that when we got through with the appointment, we still had to pay $300 up front because our deductable was $500 so the whole insurance issue made no difference.

[gardenschooler]

LOL "Cobra necked?" Bwahaha! :lol: I am sorry, but that is hilarious!

 

I cannot speak to that sort of rude craziness, but it does seem to be proliferating. Did you read Kay in Cal's post about the doctor that went nuts and left in the middle of the appointment? Un. be.lievable.

 

:grouphug:

 

I did read that - how odd. And awful for Kay!

 

BTW, I learned 'cobra-necked' right here on the board. Hmmm, now who coined that term? Anyone remember?

[Elaine]

I did read that - how odd. And awful for Kay!

 

BTW, I learned 'cobra-necked' right here on the board. Hmmm, now who coined that term? Anyone remember?

 

The Crib Chick! Jill, OK in VA:D

[gardenschooler]

The Crib Chick! Jill, OK in VA:D

 

Of course it would be The Crib Chick! How could I forget that? Let's sling her. She didn't get credit for that OTOB.

[Plucky]

I had a dentist scream at me when his hands were shoved in my mouth pulling out a cracked tooth from a failed root canal. He caused me a dental phobia. I couldn't see a dentist for 2 years and then that dentist had to be very gentle.

 

I felt so bad about taking my kids to him and they told me he would get irritated with them, but they never made a big deal. I looked this guy up and he is the only dentist in my area with multiple health department judgements.

 

Report that receptionist!

[Wendy In KS]

This was a dentist whom I had seen for over 10 years, since I was in grade school. My parents still went to him for checkups, my oldest daughter went to him. When my 2dd went for her first appointment, she did fine with the girl who cleaned her teeth. When he came in for the exam, she didn't want to open her mouth. I came in from the waiting to room (with baby on my hip) to try to talk her in to it, and he started yelling at my dd (she was all of 3 at the time). He told her "Mommy's going to have to leave the room since you won't open your mouth!" I specifically said I wasn't going anywhere. He flipped out finally gave up and said, "I'm sure she's fine" and stormed out. :confused:

 

We left in such a huff, we ended up leaving a Care Bear behind. I made my dad go pick it because I vowed never to step back in that office again. I was so furious! :cursing: This was a guy who was always so "Mr. Rogers" like, and he was yelling at a three year old!

 

Needless to say, we switched dentists, and now my kids look forward to their visits with their new dentist. They love him so much that when we found out he was going back to school to be an oral surgeon, my oldest said, "Yay! He'll be done in time to take out my wisdom teeth!"

 

As far as policy goes about being allowed in the room- when my oldest dd had to have a tooth pulled, I wasn't allowed in the room- I was told it was for insurance purposes because the room is considered an "operating room".

[Doran]

Yes, it's you. You are an infuriating person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bwwwaahhhaaaaaaa!!!! Would you please come to my house and be infuriating with me? I think we'd get along very well. Oh, and of course, that woman is just a nut-case. Hope your day goes better tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

Doran

[Elisabeth in IL]

My father has Parkinson's disease. He has been having trouble lately, so he and my mother went to the doctor for help. After my mother described the difficulties my father has been having lately, the doctor got up and walked out of the room never to return again.:001_huh:

 

 

 

That was just plain wrong!!!! What in the world? Was he called away for an emergency? I'm off to read the other posts. Maybe you already explained this.

[Jill- OK]

I did use the word 'agitated'.

 

You don't think 'cobra-necked' would have sufficed? ;-)

 

I'm so sorry you had to deal with a person like that, and even sorrier that it was about your CHILD! It's hard to know what to do when something like that happens, you know? "Hmm...do I answer with kindness, or do we do the Dance of Disintegrating Demeanor?"

 

("Dance of Disintegrating Demeanor": She Cobra-Necks, cha-cha-cha...I get Bug-Eyed, step-and-two...)

 

I think you did the right thing. Calmly waiting to fill out a complaint.

[Kay in Cal]

Lol! That was my thought too... I know a doc with whom she'd fit right in!

 

Anyhow, I just think that some people have poor coping skills and are easily socially overwhelmed. It doesn't suprise me that they exist, just when I discover them in places where you would THINK more social skills are required. And some level of professionalism.

 

Sorry you had such a bad day. I always ask myself the same question afterwards--was it me?? But nope--it wasn't you!

[Retired]

In the health care its like retail now(we don't use the word patients) they are now clients. (screaming lady must be related to the doctor. )

As for not allowing parents , There are very pain in the posterior end privacy laws now. A health care professional can be fined or loose license. I could give a 3 page list but that is more that likely the reason for the policy change. Also, depending on the state as early as age 12 the child has the legal right of medical consent, so medical personal guard that right, meaning no parent allowed and child can sign own medical forms. The child gets the same privacy protection as adults.

Sorry you were treated so badly.

[Gretchen in NJ]

That was just plain wrong!!!! What in the world? Was he called away for an emergency? I'm off to read the other posts. Maybe you already explained this.

 

No emergency here. No knock on the door.

 

I just think my mother knows more about treating the disease then the doctor does. Earlier in the visit, he told my mother that she read too much.:tongue_smilie:

 

 

Gretchen

[readwithem]

Oh man! Does the office have a personnel manager? I'd definitely talk to her superior - I know you filled out an online form but maybe call in a week to follow up or clarify. And you're right to find another doctor. That would leave a bad taste in my mouth (hmmm... I just realized my pun :) How is your dd doing? My 16 yo dd is having her wisdom teeth out this summer. We go for our consult next week.

[lynn]

PMS. She didn't want to be there. Perhaps jealous that you were SAHM and she had to be at work, I've encountered that before. Who knows. I've learned to walk away from people that give a 'tude

[LadyR]

I recently had a run in with my son's dentist. He's 6 and it was his first filling and she started scolding him for crying, not breathing right, not listening to her, etc., etc. I had enough. My usually very controlled, very quiet, very accommodating self completely lost it and started screaming at her "DON'T YOU EVER, EVER SPEAK TO MY SON LIKE THAT!!!!!!!! And I went on and on and on. Screaming. I completely lost it. She started shaking....lol.

 

Before this she made him throw up twice trying to take more x-rays. (The technician had no problem when she did it.) And then told me he threw up because I was in the hall and I was making him nervous. What???? She told me to go sit in the waiting room and I firmly told her I WILL NOT LEAVE.

 

I got a letter from her the next day. I have to find an new dentist...lol.

[Jackie in AR]

That is just bizarre.

 

I knew customer service was going downhill, but your story and Kay's take the cake.

 

What is wrong with people??? :confused1:

[Aubrey]

I had to have a tooth removed a few months ago, & the oral surgeon himself yelled at me!

 

I'd had my wisdom teeth out yrs before w/out general anesthesia, & the dr had given me a headset to listen to (instead of the sounds of the tooth & the drill!) & laughing gas.

 

So for this procedure, I brought my own headset & opted for laughing gas. The dr kept asking me how I was feeling. Like I could answer anyway! But I'd try nodding or giving him thumbs up or whatever, thinking man, LEAVE me alone, so I can *focus*, you know.

 

Well, he wasn't paying attention & finally FREAKED out that I couldn't hear him. I mean, he RIPPED me to shreds. Then, after taking away my headset (And you know, I'm a GROWN WOMAN!), he asked how the numbing stuff was working. I nodded again. My mouth was propped open, so I couldn't even *try* to talk.

 

A few min later he had the GALL to ask why I was in tears.