Spin-off on High School Reunion thread - homeschooling & your high school experience.

[Kate CA]

So I noticed that some of you posted that you had not-so-good high school experiences. My heart was hurting for some of your words. I feel a great :grouphug: is in order. (Isn't it nice to be an adult now?) :) I sure think so!

 

Anyway, so my high school experience was average - neither wonderful nor was it horrible. It just was. :) So my question is something I am still mulling in my own mind - do your own experiences as a former high school student play into your homeschooling decisions? Does it affect your choices now? And why is high school supposed to be such a quintessential time in life? Does it affect you today?

 

Oh, and for what it is worth, it is just something I was thinking about. :)

[CLHCO]

It was elementary and particularly junior high where I was miserable. I'll be honest in saying that this had to be a reason in homeschooling too. I can see in them every day that my choice was wise. Their stress is so much less than mine was. They do not worry about who likes them this week or if that whispering is someone talking behind their back.

 

The school atmosphere drove a wedge into our family too. I don't doubt it could be avoided and schools driving wedges does not have to be the norm but it sure is easy to do. My parents threw up their hands when I turned 5 and let the school teach me, my friends fill emotional needs, and no one teach me character or life skills. I don't think they realized they did this but the schools and so much of society just seemed to think that's the way things go. They went with what seemed normal. So, one reason I homeschooled was to help maintain a tie with my children. It certainly helped. My relationship with them is so different than anything I grew up with, despite having a stable family.

 

High school is out for my children, not because I think they would suffer socially with peers but because they may do okay and I've grown to not really care for the society of youth we've created in our high schools. Thankfully, my two entering high school age would be horrified if I tried to make them go. They'd rather be home.:thumbup:

[Bee]

High school was ok.Not great,not horrible.Jr.High was horrible,but then I think it is for nearly everybody.I felt like I really didn't learn anything new in high school and I spent alot of time just waiting.Waiting for other people to catch up,waiting for the teacher to tell us something important,waiting for real life to begin.I felt like I was just putting my time in.I don't feel that high school prepared me well for the experiences and challenges of college or the real world.In high school,they told us what to study for the test and never expected us to discuss things or have opinions.It was a shock to get to college and have the professor tell us to read a few chapters and be prepared to come in and discuss what we had read.So many of my college classmates had to take remedial english.I had to take remedial math.Although I managed to graduate with a regents diploma back in the day when that was optional.Thinking about my experiences in high school was probably one of the biggest reasons I decided to hs.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I had friends, mostly other quiet girls like me who minded their own business.

I was on the fringe of the social experience along with the geeks and the "loggers" (kids who sat outside on logs and smoked every chance they got).

 

Everyonce in a while some popular person would look at me like they had seen me for the first time. Then I'd hear comments like, "You're smart aren't you?" or "Wow, you didnt' tell us you could do that!" (You never asked).

 

Mostly they just ignored me. I kind of liked it that way because when they did things like ask me to go to lunch with them, I had to turn them down because I had no money. In fact, I was on reduced lunch for a quarter. I didn't want to stand in the reduced lunch line, so I went through the line with the kids whose parents had enough money to pay full price. I would use my quarter to buy a chocolate milkshake, then go sit in the library and read.

 

My history teacher found me reading "A Brave New World" and told me I didn't really want to read that book. Huh?

 

Anyway the first half of my high school years were at one school and the second half at another. The second school was light years behind the first, so I ended up on an accelerated track and was put into community college at 16. I enjoyed that much more.

 

My whole school experience did contribute to wanting to homeschool. I spent many years bored or confused. I became an underacheiver because I found out just how hard I had to work to make no less than a B in all my classes. I did make some good friends, and some that I could have lived without. All in all, I didn't learn much at all and felt lost in the crowd most of the time.

[Kelli in TN]

I had horrible public school experiences from beginning to end. I would not wish these experiences on my worst enemy and I do not wish them on my children.

 

Really, I can count on one hand the good, caring teachers I had. They stand out because the rest were so bad. They ranged from uninterested and unengaged all the way to cliquish and immature.

[lynn]

I went to a private school it was small and my experience was fun. I let my ds go to the highschool here because he was so ready. They offer so many classes I never could teach. He is having a wonderful hs experience and has a great group of kids he hangs around with, several of which he has played football with since elementary school.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Middle school was three years of social HELL. I learned that because I was from the wrong side of the tracks and didn't have cool clothes, that I was not worthy of some folks. Thankfully, I had a few friends who could see past all that.

 

High school was okay. Mainly because I had a steady boyfriend and the teacher's had very low expectations of me (being from the wrong side of the tracks, I was put into the vocational ed track). My own family-life fell apart during my hs years and I was on my own. My bf and his friends (he was from the RIGHT side of the tracks!) were my "family."

 

Side note: I saw more drug and alcohol abused by the cheerleaders and jocks from the RIGHT side of the tracks than I ever saw in my own "bad" neighborhood. The school's most popular drug dealer was a "clean-cut prep." whose father was a navel officer. His sister and her girlfriends would come to class stoned and they were given a pass because they were preps and kissed up to the teachers.

 

I resented the teachers who couldn't see through these kids scam. I had maybe 4 or 5 decent teachers throughout my schooling.

 

My favorite part of hs was marching and symphonic band. My band director was awesome. I think the high school band programs here are desperate and allow homeschoolers!

 

The childhood and education we are providing our children is SO different from that which my parents gave me....it's like apples and marshmallows!

 

Although, I wasn't traumatized by it, I'm sure my own experiences in a government school has contributed to my desire to homeschool.

[elizam]

Middle school was three years of social HELL. I learned that because I was from the wrong side of the tracks and didn't have cool clothes' date=' that I was not worthy of some folks. Thankfully, I had a few friends who could see past all that.

 

High school was okay. Mainly because I had a steady boyfriend and the teacher's had very low expectations of me (being from the wrong side of the tracks, I was put into the vocational ed track). My own family-life fell apart during my hs years and I was on my own. My bf and his friends (he was from the RIGHT side of the tracks!) were my "family."

 

Side note: I saw more drug and alcohol abused by the cheerleaders and jocks from the RIGHT side of the tracks than I ever saw in my own "bad" neighborhood. The school's most popular drug dealer was a "clean-cut prep." whose father was a navel officer. His sister and her girlfriends would come to class stoned and they were given a pass because they were preps and kissed up to the teachers.

 

I resented the teachers who couldn't see through these kids scam. I had maybe 4 or 5 decent teachers throughout my schooling.

 

My favorite part of hs was marching and symphonic band. My band director was awesome. I think the high school band programs here are desperate and allow homeschoolers!

 

The childhood and education we are providing our children is SO different from that which my parents gave me....it's like apples and marshmallows!

 

Although, I wasn't traumatized by it, I'm sure my own experiences in a government school has contributed to my desire to homeschool.[/quote']

 

 

My ds is in PS and he would relate to what you are saying. He is shunned by the preps and is not in the college track due to his mediocre grades (mostly due to his ADHD). The schools do not seem to have high expectations or liking for kids other than the preps. And the preps are doing all this wrong stuff but all anyone can see is the "bad" kids who dress "bad" and make fair to poor grades.

[elizam]

I was a quiet honor roll kid with math anxiety and a love for all things literary and historical. I was respected by some and shunned by some. I did not play sports. I was not a cheerleader (I would have liked to be), and I was not in band (I would have liked to be). I never had a boyfriend. I did not go to the prom because the only guy that asked me was two years younger and I thought everyone would make fun of me.

 

I sort of would like tmy kids in high school having fun and making good grades, but my one ds who IS in high school is not experiencing either.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I was a quiet honor roll kid with math anxiety and a love for all things literary and historical. I was respected by some and shunned by some. I did not play sports. I was not a cheerleader (I would have liked to be), and I was not in band (I would have liked to be). I never had a boyfriend. I did not go to the prom because the only guy that asked me was two years younger and I thought everyone would make fun of me.

 

QUOTE]

 

You sound a lot like me. I was mortified when my younger brother's friend asked me out. I told him my boyfriend wouldn't like it. :tongue_smilie:

[Plaid Dad]

Yes, my school experiences absolutely affected my decision to homeschool. I have often said that I was bored on the first day of kindergarten and bored on the last day of high school. At the same time, there was a tremendous amount of academic pressure among the honors students; the fact that I chose to go to a non-Ivy League school was considered positively shocking and conclusive evidence of my freakishness. I even graduated early, but high school was one of the most miserable times of my life, socially, intellectually, you name it. I watched a video a few years ago that was filmed in my high school (Mariah Carey went there and did a concert) and it made me feel physically ill.

 

There were other circumstances in my life that made things particularly difficult at that time; my father was dying of emphysema and my mother was caring for him at home. I begged my mother to let me be tutored at home - I had illnesses of my own, some of them probably psychosomatic, that kept me out of school for almost 1/3 of the days in my last semester - but given all the stress she was under, I don't blame her for not advocating for me more. I found out too late about Simon's Rock, which would have been the perfect environment for me at the time.

 

All that said, I recognize that my experience was, while not exactly uncommon for gifted kids, probably extreme. My dw, who is also academically gifted, had a fairly good high school experience. In her case, school was an escape from a difficult home situation.

 

I would be lying if I said that my bad experience of public education did not have everything to do with my initial interest in homeschooling. However, we continue homeschooling for far more positive reasons: an individualized plan of study, a thoroughly classical curriculum, family togetherness, stronger faith, lots of free time for my dd to pursue her gifts and interests.

[cricket1178]

I was "popular" in highschool, a cheerleader, ran track, voted "best all around" of my highschool class. But, I also was picked on. There was a very large group of girls, who for whatever reason, decided to make my life miserable. I went home from school many times in tears. However, I loved school (I actually liked the learning part), I liked sports, and I enjoyed the friends that made all the other stuff bearable. All this to say, no, my highschool experience did not influence my decision to homeschool. My decision to homeschool is based on a belief I developed after highschool.

[PrairieAir]

I was a very shy kid. Most people in high school probably thought of me as a bookworm or a bit of a nerd or at least a goody two shoes. I spent sophomore through senior year in a very small rural high school. My graduating class had 28 kids in it. I think going to a small school where no one was truly an outcast--there weren't enough kids to completely leave anyone out--and everyone knew each other pretty well helped me overcome some of my shyness. In a larger school it would have been easier to remain in the background and never be noticed. I credit my high school experience as one of the things that helped me to come out of my shell. Overall, it was a good experience for me.

 

My family moved a lot when I was a kid and I went to a lot of different schools. I had good experiences and bad experiences. None of those experiences really influenced my decision to homeschool. I decided to homeschool because I wanted to spend more time with my children and enjoy learning with them. My number one reason for homeschooling is because I love my kids and I wanted to be with them. I also wanted to develop a love for learning in my children, and I felt that could best be done at home in those first years. The fact that I don't like what I have seen of most Wichita schools was more of a minor point, but it did figure in--especially given the particular schools my kids would have attended when we lived there.

 

When we moved out here to the country, the kids were older. We had never eliminated the possibility of public school. The two older kids wanted to try public school. We felt the oldest needed it because homeschool was not working for him (or me) at that point and we were butting heads too much. The school here is two or three miles from our house and it is a nice, small, rural school. It's twice the size of the school we graduated from, but it isn't too big. Because of my own experience, I felt most comfortable with sending my kids to a small, rural school. It has been a good experience for my oldest three and is an option for my youngest if she decides she wants to try it.

 

I suppose my experience influenced my decision in that:

*I do not feel public school is an evil to avoid at all costs.

*I feel it can be a good experience for some.

*I wanted my kids to attend a small, rural school if they did go to public school.

*I always thought I would want some of the activities such as sports, clubs, and dances available to my kids if they wanted them and wondered if that would be available with homeschooling. Most of those things are available to homeschoolers in the Wichita area, including a prom.

[elegantlion]

I hated high school. I had no self esteem and did the very minimum to get by. I was a good student, but had no one to guide my education. I met my guidance counselor once, and that was to change classes. My parents were not motivating in my education and pretty much let me chose what studies I wanted. I ended up graduating a semester early and don't feel like I missed out on anything.

 

I would have loved having someone to mentor me in my education. I feel I would have made very different choices. In a class of over 400 I just got lost.

 

That being said we plan on homeschooling our son, now 10, through high school. One reason is like I stated, I want him to feel mentored through his education. I do try to make sure I don't filter my high school experience through our decision to homeschool. There are many other reasons we want to continue at home. Specialized classes and the ability to travel are two of them.

[LisaKinVA]

My high school experience was lackluster... but that was as much from attending 3 different schools in 4 years. And before that, 4 different schools in 4 years. So, it was pretty difficult to fit in -- find good friends -- and feel "at home." My husband had a great high school experience, although he says looking back, he wasn't challenged.

 

We haven't decided what to do about high school yet. I had always assumed that we would homeschool through high school. It may be a decision completely out of our hands as well -- if our children continue at an accelerated pace, the local schools won't be able to keep up with them.

 

Part of me romanticizes the notion of the high school experience -- but we are also committed to the best education we can provide. If our local schools can't give our children an excellent education FIRST, they will stay home. If they CAN, we may send them.

 

I can say that my elementary/middle school experience definitely affected our decision to homeschool.

 

Thankfully, we have five years to make that decision.

[WTMindy]

I really liked high school. I had a great experience and there is a part of me that would like my kids to not miss out on something. However, I think what they will be gaining (assuming we homeschool all the way through) far outweighs what they will give up.

[Jenny in Atl]

I had an awful high school experience. We had just moved from NY to GA (so I was an outsider). I was not popular, but not one of the "nerds" which would have been good... could have focused on my studies.

 

Instead, I was lost in a sea of flannel shirts, Chukka Boots, and high heeled Candies; migrating from clique to clique, never really finding my place. Classes were boring, and we had a very high teacher turnover rate. The school was a mess. I went from one of the best school systems in the US to one of the worst. And, as an average, somewhat unmotivated kid, I floundered.

 

Did this experience effect my decision to home school. Oh Ya! And, it is even harder since my dd12 wants to go to HS. I worry that she will fall into the same trap.

[chiguirre]

I enjoyed highschool a lot, but looking back on it, I don't think it was a good influence in my life. Sure, I racked up activities and good grades and managed to have plenty of friends by the end of senior year. I also learned how to do the minimum and still pull an A. That's a difficult habit to break and can be a real detriment to achieving success as an adult.

 

My public school experiences didn't really affect my decision to homeschool, my ds's certainly did. If our ps hadn't failed him so badly in PK, I would probably have gone with the flow and enrolled him in K. But, now that we're hsing, we love it and we'll continue for as long as we all still enjoy it.

 

I do hope that my kids can take some classes at the public hs (band or chorus or theater) and participate in some activities, but I'd prefer that their academics focus on doing their personal best, not doing the minimum necessary to look good on paper.

[KAR120C]

I went to the public magnet high school (the "nerd school") and there was virtually no bullying, great kids, good work ethic, mostly good teachers, a few great. But there were a few terrible teachers, an interfering school psychologist, a principal who I swear was, in fact, Dolores Umbridge...

 

So on the one hand I don't think high school (or public school in general) is evil or to be avoided at all costs, but I don't really have a romanticized view of them either. There were some good parts, some great parts, some terrible and some just "meh"... I wasn't traumatized but I then I also don't feel much nostalgia for it.

 

I won't be surprised if DS ends up going to public high school at some point, but I will be happy to homeschool him straight through if he prefers. I think just having the choice can make either one better, iykwim.

[elegantlion]

Instead, I was lost in a sea of flannel shirts, Chukka Boots, and high heeled Candies; migrating from clique to clique, never really finding my place.

 

I do hope the flannel shirts and high heeled Candies weren't worn at the same time. I'm having a very bad fashion flashback at the moment.

 

Our school had the skoal circle on the jeans back pockets. That was cool!:confused:

[Jenny in Atl]

I do hope the flannel shirts and high heeled Candies weren't worn at the same time. I'm having a very bad fashion flashback at the moment.

 

Our school had the skoal circle on the jeans back pockets. That was cool!:confused:

 

Yup, the fashions at the time were interesting. You had two main groups... the preps, mostly the jocks and cheerleaders (LL Bean style), and the freaks, Boys would dress in concert t-shirt with a flannel shirt (un-buttoned) over that and the classic Chukka boats. Freak girls wore as little as possible, very tight Chic jean, backless Candie's, and often a flannel shirt to cover the tube top or other barely their shirt. Oh, and of course both Preps and freak girls had that great "wings" hairstyle! Then there was the rest of us. We all kinda had our own style, but that was frowned upon, of course.

[Mekanamom]

I loved my three best friends in High School. That's pretty much the only good part.

 

I had a decent French teacher. I guess that was good too.

 

I was shocked, when I graduated, that my school was considered creme de la creme as far as education goes. My decision to homeschool was mostly based on the fact that I graduated with pretty good grades and still knew nothing.

 

(I loved college/university.)

 

My high school was in a very affluent part of the community. Kids drove BMWs to school and had new clothes every week.

 

There was one year when I had to duct tape my shoes together. :glare: You can imagine. But it didn't make that much difference because my good friends were always wonderful, and I ignored the snobs. They looked more miserable than I was, even though they had great shoes. ;)

 

Edited to add: The "popular" girls had to endure the most vicious backbiting I've ever witnessed. I don't know how they stood it. It was just the one graduating class, too. The classes ahead of us and behind us were much more cohesive and mostly got along with each other. My class had bad chemistry.

[cin]

Yes, my high school (and middles school) experience is one of hte reasons I am homeschooling. I was undiagnosed with ADD. I am the classic underacheiver. I wasn't allowed to take the classes that interested me becuase they were the Advanced Track. If I had, I probably would have shocked everyone. I graduated on the mercy of my Chemistry teacher who said he kNEW I was capable, but just didn't do the work. HE gave me 2 points so I could graduate.

 

I believe my oldest has ADD. Even if she doens't I want to help her with life-coping skills; organization, staying on task, listening completely, and finishing tasks. These are all things that I, at 42, am finally realizing are problems for me. I understand her issues and hopefully, can help her overcome them to be a successful adult.

 

Oh yeah, I was also at the bottom of the food chain in High School. I wouldn't wish that on ANYbody.

[pixelroper]

hated it, while not the main reason, it underlined most of the pros to home school. I can't say that it was a total social/intellectual disaster b/c I eventually adapted; the social success came at the sacrifice of the intellectual success. As dd is very much like me I knew she would have the same problems. The great advantage over ps is going at dd's own pace w/o the social distractions.

 

I'm not sure why the high school experience is considered the "quintessential time in life", I find it very far removed from reality. IMO, compared to when I attended it has only become more so. Many I know look back at this time in their life with a fondness I can't comprehend.

 

[KristineIN]

My experience wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. I wasn't the coolest kid, wasn't the nerdiest either, but didn't really have a lot of friends, didn't have the coolest clothes etc. My maiden named was pronounced Troy-key and when kids realized it rhymed with "dorky" well, that was a terrible nick name to have. I had a few boys friends, but mostly from different schools. I did go to my Jr. Prom, but never had a date for the Sr. (you had to have a date in order to go) I only keep in touch with one person that I went to high school with. I never went to my high school reunion, and don't plan to either.

 

My decision to homeschool was based on what I saw with others who already were homeschooling. I think there is just too much peer pressure in public school and we know what our kids are doing. I didn't get into drugs or alcohol in high school, but I did skip school once or twice without my parents knowing it. I also lost my virginity before I was done with high school, something I'm not proud of, but had the peer pressure not been there, I think I would not have done that.

I met my dh when I went away to college and one thing that drew me to him was that he was already a Christian man. I knew that was what I wanted.

Kristine

[Amy loves Bud]

Well, I had a pretty darn good high school experience. I was a cheerleader and a good student and had Very Nice Boyfriend. My high school trig teacher saw that I had some mad math skilz, so she basically tutored me separately so that I could work ahead of the class in preparation for college.

 

In all, I think I had as good of a high school experience as possible. There were only 37 people in my graduating class, so the clique thing didn't ever really raise it's ugly head. We were all friends for the most part.

 

So, no, it doesn't play into my decision much. I do realize that my experience was unusual, but I also know that it doesn't have to be a total nightmare either. We'll just keep homeschooling as long as it works for us. And it's working just fine right now. :)

[astrid]

I LOVED school. High school was wonderful, and even junior high was fun for me. I was one of the "smart jocks" who played three varsity sports and played in the band, so maybe that helped. I guess when I think back on junior high and high school, I mostly remember good friends, band rehearsals, softball practice with a warm spring wind blowing, National Honor Society banquets, going to basketball games, playing field shows during football game halftimes......... maybe I"ve blocked them all out, but I just can't remember a whole lot of negatives.

 

I even married my high-school sweetheart--- two proms! :001_wub:

 

And I guess, to answer your question, my experiences do shape my homeschool plans. Dd attended public school K-2, and we've always planned to send her back to high school.

[Jennifer in MI]

I LOVED school. High school was wonderful' date=' and even junior high was fun for me. I was one of the "smart jocks" who played three varsity sports and played in the band, so maybe that helped. I guess when I think back on junior high and high school, I mostly remember good friends, band rehearsals, softball practice with a warm spring wind blowing, National Honor Society banquets, going to basketball games, playing field shows during football game halftimes......... maybe I"ve blocked them all out, but I just can't remember a whole lot of negatives.

 

I even married my high-school sweetheart--- two proms! :001_wub:

 

And I guess, to answer your question, my experiences do shape my homeschool plans. Dd attended public school K-2, and we've always planned to send her back to high school.[/quote']

 

Same experience here. I LOVED it!!! I was in three sports, I danced, was concertmaster of the orchestra, did the plays and musicals. I was a good student and I had a wonderful group of friends. So, I do wonder if my kids will be missing out when they don't go to high school. But, it didn't influence my decision to homeschool whatsoever.

[G5052]

So my question is something I am still mulling in my own mind - do your own experiences as a former high school student play into your homeschooling decisions? Does it affect your choices now? And why is high school supposed to be such a quintessential time in life? Does it affect you today?

 

Oh, and for what it is worth, it is just something I was thinking about. :)

 

Definitely! I went to a top-notch public high school. Most of my favorite teachers had been classically educated and some had done their graduate degrees at St. John's College. Socially high school was yuk, but the academics were great. In college I realized just how blessed I was, and I wanted that for my children. Of course reality hit later that most public high schools are not at all what I experienced and that private schools like that require a different income level, so here we are homeschooling!

[RegularMom]

He used to leave these scary creepy messages on my mother's answering machine. My mother took the cassette tape from her answering machine into the guidance office one day and played it for the counsellors and the principal and VP and such. And from that day on, I was watched closely by certain members of the staff, to make sure nothing happened.

 

Nothing ever did happen. And I never even knew about any of it until I graduated. My mom told me all about it a couple years later. They never figured out who it was either. (My guess was a certain teacher who had this...um...crush on me or something. He used to flirt with me. It was gross.)

 

Other than that...well, let's see. Socially successful people in my high school were those that drank and smoked and messed around. If you weren't into that, you were pretty much doomed socially.

 

Academically, the school was mediocre. I was able to pass by doing the barest minimum of work. And with the exception of a few good teachers, the people and the work they gave us was tedious, meaningless, and uninspired.

 

And this was a school in one of the wealthiest areas in Northern New Jersey. People WANTED this school for their kids, if you KWIM. But really, it just wasn't that good.

 

And the whole stalker thing....um...bleah.

 

Yeah, we'll be avoiding high school. At all costs.

[Kay in Cal]

I have a similar experience... elementary and junior high were the pits (and definately affect our homeschooling decision), but high school was OK. My public high school I attended my last two years was really pretty good, I took three AP classes my senior year and had lots of electives--French 4, advanced Drama classes with an awesome theater, etc. I have no idea how it is now--I graduated from Overland High School in Aurora, CO, but I've never been back in the area since I graduated in '88. Socially, it wasn't spectacular, but not as bad as junior high or elementary.

 

My dh attended a private high school (Newark Academy in New Jersey) and loved every minute of it.

 

College was awesome all around, however!

[Kate CA]

 

I'm not sure why the hs experience is considered the "quintessential time in life", I find it very far removed from reality. IMO, compared to when I attended it has only become more so. Many I know look back at this time in their life with a fondness I can't comprehend.

 

 

Yes, that mindset is what I was also curious about. I am wondering why it is considered by many to be the "best time of their lives" when this thread alone would suggest otherwise!

[pixelroper]

the only thing that really bothers me is when people tell children it will be the 'best time in their life' or 'it only goes downhill from here' and my favorite 'now is the time to do whatever you want' as if they really can and once an adult they are at the mercy of "life", which implies they aren't already at its mercy. I found adulthood liberating in many ways, of course there are responsibilities but...???

 

sorry to tangent but I find this usually coincides with the whole idea of "quintessential time"

[Harriet Vane]

I grew up in public schools, and as a result have a generally very LOW opinion of them. It was often quite difficult both socially and because most of my teachers were horrendous.

 

My first grade teacher used to tell the class put our heads on our desk and plug our ears so she could yell at whoever was in trouble. And she could yell! My third grade teacher was also a screamer, and my fourth grade teacher was just plain incompetent. My fifth grade teacher was one of the most critical, unhappy people I have ever known. So, in seven years of grammar school I had 3 good teachers (K, 2nd, 6th) and consider the other four years to have been an almost total waste.

 

My junior high experiences (two different schools due to a move) were also a mixed bag, though it was a little better for me after our move.

 

High school, by contrast, was NIRVANA. :001_smile: I went to a small, academically challenging, Christian school and had a truly great experience there. Class sizes were much smaller. The bulk of my teachers really cared, and the least competent of them still did an acceptable job. The expectations were high AND the support was warm and loving. I consider my high school education to have been better academically even than college.

 

I struggle with whether or not I would allow my kids to go to a school like the one I had the privilege of attending. On the one hand, I would love for them to have the rich, full experience I had. On the other hand, a rigorous school like the one I attended requires more of a lifestyle commitment. With sports, music, and the annual play, most students were on campus constantly, with quite a homework load to slog through at home. Part of why it worked well for me was that I had an unhappy family situation and wanted to be out, away from home. For a healthy, happy family that much time away, even though the environment is so good, can and does pull at the family structure. I think it's too much time away from home and family.

 

I don't know what I'll do with my own kids. I lean heavily towards homeschooling, but struggle with the pull to put them in a school environment similar to the one I enjoyed so much.

[Tutor]

I did not have great school experiences in elementary and middle school, but I loved high school. It was very good for me socially (although my academics suffered, and I have always regretted that). My dh did not really enjoy high school at all.

 

Our educational experiences did not have much to do with our choices, at least not consciously. Before we had children, we observed that we really loved the homeschooled kids we knew and wanted to provide that type of life for our children. That was the main impetus behind our decision.

[mcconnellboys]

My hs experience was only so-so, as well. I do not maintain contact with any of the folks with whom I graduated.

 

I was lobbied to attend one of oure recent reunions; I can't recall now which it was, but it seemed that they only wanted those who lived away to come back and liven up the conversation, provide info on what they were doing in their "exotic" away lives, etc. If no one has ever cared enough to attempt contact with me for the sake of only that, then why would I want to provide the entertainment for their party?

 

Someone else posted asking about yearbook nominations and I quickly ran through ours to remind myself - let's see: most courteous came back to the hs to work until they caught her embezzling and put her in jail...... and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Needless to say I don't have much confidence in the character judgments of my fellow classmates, then or now.....

 

I'm not sure where the idea ever came from that hs was such an important time. I personally think it's a leftover from when our parents' or grandparents' generations got married and went to work right after high school; a time when not that many attended college. Now I tend to think that college is a much more mature, grand time. Well, it was for me, anyway. I'm a little worried that the current crop of college kids is a little to immersed in the "look at me" sort of lifestyle. Not sure that's too healthy.....

 

I did not homeschool because of my own school experiences. I have seen through our homeschooling how much more can be accomplished than what I covered when I was in school and I have commented about that to my older son on a regular basis. He is now in private school and has quickly realized the truth of all I've told him. Like me, he wishes that he could somehow combine the excellence in academics of homeschool with the ability to be with large groups of people. He's now worrying about going to college and having to make a whole 'nother set of friends, LOL......

 

Regena

[Kate CA]

\or 'it only goes downhill from here' and my favorite 'now is the time to do whatever you want' as if they really can and once an adult they are at the mercy of "life", which implies they aren't already at its mercy. I found adulthood liberating in many ways, of course there are responsibilities but...???

 

sorry to tangent but I find this usually coincides with the whole idea of "quintessential time"

 

Oh, I completely agree with you. While my life certainly has its bundle of stresses, it is a joy to be an adult with a great husband and a beautiful family. I was never so content and happy in my life!

 

The idea that it is the best time or that it is downhill is such a discouraging thought - especially to ones so young!

 

Thanks for responding. :)

[Kate CA]

This has been one of the most interesting threads to read!! I find (yet again) we are such a diverse group and yet there are many things similar too.

 

I want to note that I feel tremendously blessed by all of you. With your diverse backgrounds and willingness to discuss things -- well you have just blessed me. I think it is amazing that an internet message board levels us all on the walk of life. I would never know whether you were a nerd, jock, drama, etc. in your past had you not shared it, but today, as adults, it wouldn't matter--at least here is doesn't. (And if I met you in real life it wouldn't either!) We are all in this together and that is a beautiful thing to me. Thanks for sharing a part of yourself.

 

I am blessed by each and every one of you tonight.

 

Thanks.

[forty-two]

I had a decent public school experience, I suppose - no real traumatic experiences, but certainly not the greatest experience of my life, by any means.

 

Academically, it was very easy for me, and I was bored quite a lot till I discovered the joys of reading under my desk in fifth grade. I proceeded to devour 2-3 books during each school day in middle school, and at least a few hundred pages an day during high school. I took a pretty rigorous college prep load - at least 4 honors or AP courses a year - but never really had to study much and got away with procrastinating horribly. I'd do six weeks of physics work all the night before the entire portfolio of work was due, and I wrote all my junior year English and History essays the actual day they were due, before and during class. As you might imagine, habits of this sort weren't exactly an asset when it came to college.

 

Socially, I was very shy and was very lonely throughout elementary school and sixth grade, though I was good friends with some of the neighborhood girls who weren't in my grade at school. I was never picked on, and my teachers loved me, but I just had no friends and no one to talk to. At the end of sixth grade, I broke into the "smart and weird" crowd, and this gave me people to talk to, and eventually a friend. In high school I was in a group of four friends in 9-11th, though we drifted apart in 12th, and friendly enough with most of the honors crowd to chat with them, though I didn't do much outside of school with anyone. I don't think I had any bad teachers, and most were excellent. I learned a lot, mostly enjoyed myself, and got great AP and SAT scores.

 

My original reason for wanting to homeschool my kids was so they could progress at their own speed and not be held back by the school. In first grade, my sister's teacher let her do math at her own pace, and started her off in the second grade book. By the end of the year, she was halfway through the third grade book, self-teaching the whole way. But then in second grade, what did she do? Second grade math, again. It's a miracle she didn't end up hating math. As for myself, I graduated second in my class at my large suburban high school while spending most of my time reading outside books and not paying attention - I could have done so much more if I'd had the opportunity.

 

Now that I actually have a kid, I want to homeschool also to help foster a strong family bond, and to give them plenty of free time to play.

[Tap]

I rarely went to classes, skipped at least once a week in my sr. year and still graduated with a 4pt that year. I was very quiet, hung out in the arts building and really just blended into the background. I was picked on for a few weeks and then that ended too. I drank a lot but never wanted to do drugs so I was relatively clean (compared to my friends).

 

I went to prom, had typical teenage friend issues and I can say that I actually had a pretty firm grasp of reality at a young age.

 

I homeschool not because of my own experiences but because of those of my friends. I saw horrible things happen to very good people because of a very brief momentary lapse of judgement. A little immaturity coupled with a tremendous amount of responsibility ruined several lives in those 4 years. I want to give my kids the choice to go to school, but if they choose to go, I don't want their heads filled with years of negative influences, mean people, and tortured spirits. I want to send them with a realistic view of people and human nature...but with the skills to rise above the garbage and the skills to not be brought down by those who surround you.

 

Our ds13 has a lot of ps friends in the neighborhood, so he has a real view of the teenage world. He also takes classes with high schoolers in our ps home school system so we have a lot of contact with people who are coming directly home from ps for the first time in highschool. He is very, very happy to not have to play a role in the game. My ds13 has no intention of ever going to ps school and he has several ps friends from the neighborhood who openly tell me they are jealous of our homeschooling.

[Colleen]

I always enjoyed school but academically it was seldom challenging. I did like learning, when the opportunity arose (and didn't involve Bunsen burners or calculus;)). By high school, the social scene was what it was all about. I was popular, but I had a real cross-section of friends. I was involved with drill team, sports, student body, school newspaper ~ the whole shebang. Like someone else said, though, racking up good grades and activities was easily achieved without putting a great deal of effort into anything. I learned next to nothing as far as work ethic was concerned. I spent the vast majority of my class time writing or reading notes to or from my friends. Probably went through several acres of forest with the amount of notes we wrote. When I think about high school, I primarily think about things like Friday night football games, parties, guys...you get the picture.

 

My own experiences don't directly influence my decision to homeschool ~ I wouldn't want to project that on my boys. They're different people, living in a different place and time, with a different family. I admit I don't understand it when people say they homeschool their children (or not) because of what their school days were like.

[Kate CA]

My own experiences don't directly influence my decision to homeschool ~ I wouldn't want to project that on my boys. They're different people, living in a different place and time, with a different family. I admit I don't understand it when people say they homeschool their children (or not) because of what their school days were like.

 

I wonder if it would be different if you had had an awful experience? I am not saying it would be and we will never know, but I wonder. I don't homeschool directly because of my high school experience, but I would by lying if I said that I wanted my children to experience what I did in high school - the "good" or the bad. I want my children to have a rich and full high school life without the immorality and *with* the ability to be who they are--not who their peers think they should be. :)

[Colleen]

I wonder if it would be different if you had had an awful experience? I am not saying it would be and we will never know, but I wonder.

 

Yes, I imagine if I'd had an awful experience, I'd be worried the same thing would happen to my boys. But I would try very hard not to project my bad experiences on them, kwim?

 

I don't homeschool directly because of my high school experience, but I would by lying if I said that I wanted my children to experience what I did in high school - the "good" or the bad. I want my children to have a rich and full high school life without the immorality and *with* the ability to be who they are--not who their peers think they should be.

 

I understand!:)

[Susan in IL]

Academically, I got a great education. Elementary school was great, jr. high was ok with some great teachers (and the normal just ok ones). High school was a mixed bag. I excelled in classes I liked, just did what I needed to in order to get by in others.

 

I was on the geeky side. We had a computer when no other school did (think punch cards and 24 hour turnaround time) and I loved that stuff. That is what determined my college major. There was only one other girl in the class so we were the weird ones. I read a lot and that was definitely uncool.

 

There were no girls sports, Title IX passed the year I graduated so there were no groups like that to be part of. I didn't play any instruments and can't hold a tune. I had a group of friends but only one that was close. We were in each others weddings. She passed away almost 4 years ago.

 

The only reason I homeschooled was for academics. My school district did a traditional classical type starting in grade school and after reading TWTM, I knew that I wanted my kiddos to have that same education. One of those hindsight things is I wish now that I had worked harder in school and taken advantage of what I had.

 

So I guess you could say yes, it did influence my decision to homeschool.

[Jenny in Atl]

I admit I don't understand it when people say they homeschool their children (or not) because of what their school days were like.

 

I see it kind of like test driving a car for 4 years. If that make and model was a clinker, you would not recommend it to family and friends. But who knows, maybe the new model is better? From what I have heard... it's the same lemon.

[Colleen]

I see it kind of like test driving a car for 4 years. If that make and model was a clinker, you would not recommend it to family and friends. But who knows, maybe the new model is better? From what I have heard... it's the same lemon.

 

Sure, if you're talking about the exact same make, the exact same model. But in comparing our educational experiences to that of our children, how much is the same? The students are different. The teachers are different. The school is likely different, as well as the actual coursework. We might assume the general atmosphere to be the same ~ the atmosphere that permeates many schools, e.g. emphasis on popularity, etc. But I can't see how the car analogy works...

[gardenschooler]

It was fine, I had plenty of friends and all that. I had lots of dates and football games and fun, and I did very well academically. I had a good time with my friends outside of school, but the days were just so monotonous. It bored me out of my skull, not because I was gifted in the extreme, but because I couldn't choose what I wanted to learn about, or for how long. As soon as I got interested, we'd up and move on to something else. I *hated* that part of it.

 

I hated the noise, the silliness of most of the girls, everyone parading around, the complete waste of time. I felt ready to go make my way in the world - but I have to sit around here for years? Why? No, really - why? I *never* could figure that one out.

 

The academics and most of the teachers left me uninspired, even though I was in honors classes. A few were good, but only a very few. I went to public school at first, then moved and switched to what was supposed to be a very good private school (it was actually a boarding school). The academics were better back at the public school, but it was easier to make close friends and have that 'circle' at boarding school. I did enjoy the overall boarding school experience, but the school was still the same as all the others had been. We moved A LOT, and I went more schools than I can count. Miraculously, I always did well. I think it's because we gradually moved further south, and the schools got easier. And the public schools were almost always, IMO, more academically challenging than the private ones. I also liked that there was a greater variety of courses to choose from in the public school (in high school).

 

I always felt like I was just biding my time, but not really learning much. Being forced to follow a bland course of study and long, meaningless days just made me feel imprisoned. I felt this more strongly the further I got in my school career. I went into school as a young child excited and eager to learn, but I never once had that eagerness *satisfied* - not unless I was learning something on my own or with another adult, outside of school. Not once in 13 years. It was all just too little, too shallow, and too general.

 

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed learning, just not in a classroom. I would take my math books home and study, read, reread, do the examples - but I hated sitting in a class for an hour being taught as part of a group. It just took too long to understand too little. I eventually started tuning out, but my grades didn't suffer for it.

 

I just never understood the point. I spent most of my school career trying to comprehend why on earth we were supposed to be there. There wasn't enough learning taking place to make it worthwhile, and all that *filler* just made the day even longer. Things like pep rallies, talks in the gym (speakers, drug talks, etc.) were the worst. I just couldn't believe how much of our time they wasted, lol.

 

So yes, it colors my view on homeschooling. I would have *loved* to have been homeschooled, or heck, just leave me alone in the library - I'll be fine!! But I never knew that was an option. So there I sat, puttting in my time. Wasted the best years of my life!

 

Having said that, I'm not opposed to high school if it really fits. As we see, some really enjoyed it and felt they got a good education. But it sure didn't suit my personality! I think being a homeschool mom is the perfect life for me.

[dangermom]

High school was OK. Well, 9th grade was pretty much the worst year ever, but otherwise it was pretty good. I went on a study abroad my junior year. I had good friends, wasn't popular, got decent grades.

 

As an adult, however, I've realized just how bad my HS education was. It was close to useless, and sometimes worse. Algebra II was pretty good, but otherwise, bad bad bad. I was totally unprepared for the big-time college I got into, and I think I missed a lot because of that. I think I simply had no clue that there was more to education! Sure, it wasn't very interesting, but I had lots of books and my exchange year.

 

So one reason I homeschool is to improve on that in the academics. It would be hard to do worse; we've already surpassed most of my official grammar knowledge (in R&S 3). But mostly I do it because I'm hooked on the classical thing.

[Jenny in Atl]

 

Sure, if you're talking about the exact same make, the exact same model. But in comparing our educational experiences to that of our children, how much is the same? The students are different. The teachers are different. The school is likely different, as well as the actual coursework. We might assume the general atmosphere to be the same ~ the atmosphere that permeates many schools, e.g. emphasis on popularity, etc. But I can't see how the car analogy works...

 

Maybe not the best example... yes, school building might be different, teachers, bks, but are the kids really different; the cliques, the attitudes, the pressures to fit in and belong?

 

I'm currently working around a few teachers, and some middle to high school level kids that go to the same schools my husband went to. The reports are the same. If you are on the football team or a Jock, "blank" hs is a great place for you, etc. The girls joke about texting during Spanish (just like passing notes), and there is that kid, everyone picks on, who finally explodes (yup met him to during rehearsals). So where is the learning? HS is over in four years... how many really "learn" during that time? How many get their spirits crushed by cr*p, that after high school, no longer matters?

 

If it was only the social part that I worried about, my kids would be in school and I would help them the best I could through all the social crud. But, it's this atmosphere that crushes many kids and prevents them from really learning, thriving, and fulfilling their true potential. That's what I wish to avoid.

[WagsWife]

-I graduated from Overland High School in Aurora, CO, but I've never been back in the area since I graduated in '88. Socially, it wasn't spectacular, but not as bad as junior high or elementary.

 

 

I went to Overland during my sophomore year in 1989! That school was HUGE, I was so intimidated. I had some friends there, but it was so big it was hard to get to know many people...I spent most of my time with friends from Rangeview who I met while I worked at K-mart...memories :) The teachers at Overland were great though. I credit my love of Shakespeare and off beat stories with my sophomore English teacher. My other three years of high school. I spent at a very small (less than 400 kids for all 4 grades) high school in the middle of corn fields, in Indiana