My ds 7 won't let the dentist take xrays

[Garga]

Please only reply if you've been in this situation or have a very strong-willed child.

 

Ds 7 will NEVER be anyone's victim. He defends himself and won't take anything from anyone. This is a great strength of his...

 

...until it's time for the doctor to give him a shot, or the dentist to take x-rays. Shots and dental xrays hurt. (Those xray films at the dentist always scrape the roof of my mouth and under my tongue, enough to bring tears to my eyes. The dentist always says, "You have a small mouth and these hurt you, don't they?" Uh--yes, they do.)

 

Ds will NOT submit willingly to pain, even if he understands the logic behind it. (The medicine will help you get better. We need to make sure your teeth are ok.)

 

Please let me know if anyone ever had a child refusing to do the xrays and how it got resolved.

 

Please do not respond if you have a compliant child. My 2nd son is compliant and will take his xrays or shots with only a little resistance, so I know what those kids are like.

 

I need help from you mammas with those stubborn kiddos!

[Starr]

When my dd was younger I had to hold her down and force feed her medication. She still only takes the bare minimum. Could you hold off on the xrays for another year or two and save your battles? I recall giving kids shots while the parent held them. You aren't alone but boy is it difficult. I'm sorry.

[OrganicAnn]

Our DD fought (held down screaming) dentist visits between 3 and 4, but at about 5 she finally understood and could be somewhat reasonable about it. She also knew that no amount of screaming and crying would allow her out of the visit. So eventually learned to put up with the discomfort.

 

ETA: We emphasized how *brave* she was to go. I think that would especially appeal to a boy. Something along the lines of there are lots of thing in life where you have to be *brave*, this is the first thing that will really test you.

Edited February 24, 2010 by OrganicAnn

[Jen500]

Bribery. The only time I have used bribery is with my youngest ds at the dentist. "If you open your mouth and let the dentist clean your teeth/count your teeth I will take you to the store afterwards to pick out a toy."

[MelanieM]

I have an extremely strong-willed child as well. I understand why you're only asking for advice from people who know these kids... it's really hard to understand if you haven't met one of them! lol!

 

For my kid, it's all about needing to have a feeling of control. If I talk to him about things and get his input and ideas, things go much more smoothly. So in a case like this, I would say something like "I know the getting an xray really scares you (makes you feel mad/frustrated/upset/angry/etc.). But the dentist really wants to see what's going on in there so s/he can better take care of you. There must be a way you can be happy and the dentist can get a look in there. Do you have any ideas?" Then I'd listen for suggestions and if none were immediately forthcoming, offer up some silly ones of my own, such as asking if an xray through the foot would work, or suggesting maybe taking out the teeth to xray them (my kid would find that funny; obviously don't suggest such a thing if your kid would find it scary or take you seriously!!), or maybe slipping Mama in the chair when the dentist isn't looking, etc. Basically, open up a conversation and see what he comes up with! Often my son ends up making really fabulous suggestions that are very close to the original request, or really creative and equally helpful alternatives.

 

Best of luck to you!

[Only me]

Could they use smaller x-ray films? We went to a dentist once that wasn't very understanding. My daughter used to cry when they took the x-rays. She really tried to fight it. The next time we went to a different dentist and it turns out that they had smaller films and it went so much easier.

[GoVanGogh]

My DS is very strong-willed. Plus, he has sensory issues. AND :tongue_smilie: he gags easily.

I switched dentists, to one that was more understanding. We go every six months and they always - gently - try to get x-rays. Every time, they get a wee bit further than the last time. But they do not push DS beyond what he can tolerate.

I always schedule DS for the same hygienist, hoping that he will be more comfortable having that 'constant.'

(I have a small mouth, too, and gag easily, so x-rays are very painful for me. DH doesn't understand why this is an "issue" for DS and me. :glare: I don't think it has anything to do with being "compliant," but a natural reflex to defend ourselves.)

[joannqn]

My daughter is pretty sensitive and didn't let the dentist do x-rays until around that age, and then only the small side ones. It was another year before she could handle doing the others. Our dentist believes in not traumatizing children and permanently causing them to fear going to the dentist, so he worked with her as gently as he could. He did the exam without the x-rays and called it good enough.

[AK_Mom4]

Bribery and discussion of the process worked best for us.

 

I was able to convince my child to "try" xrays each year. He agreed he was getting bigger, so would try. We set up a signal with the hygenist that if he raised his hand, they would stop - even without the picture being done. We finally got a good set of pics when he was about 10yo.

 

If it doesn't work, I would let it go. Have the dentist seal his teeth, brush regularly and hope for the best. This probably isn't a hill to die on - save it in case you really need it.

[hsmom27]

I have no real advice, but why are the x-rays so necessary right now? My 7yo DS has ASD and sensory issues, so the dentist is a nightmare. We have a great pediatric one that specializes in kids with SN, too. We go for cleanings once a year and it takes 5 people to hold him down and a gizmo that forces his mouth open. It is horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no intention of doing x-rays unless absolutely necessary. Again no advice, just :grouphug:.

[EKS]

The x-ray thingies can also cause gagging, which would likely panic your son. Your son is only now getting to the age where either of my children could tolerate the dental x-rays.

[JenneinCA]

Have they thought about doing the panorama xrays instead?

 

According to my daughter those xrays don't involve putting pointy things in the mouth. They only involve biting with the front teeth on a piece of plastic. I would guess that is to keep the head still.

 

My kids are NOT as sensory sensitive as yours and did tolerate the xrays, but I thought maybe the panorama idea might help.

[elise1mds]

I am right there with everyone else. I see no reason to force him to do this, especially if it hurts. It physically hurts my son to have his toenails trimmed, so only *I* am allowed to trim them, and even then, it's rough on him. It's taken a long time to get where we are now with it. He also refuses to say 'ah' for the doctor because it initiates his gag reflux. I couldn't imagine forcing him to have x-rays done when they were a more optional thing. I'd definitely check into smaller films or panoramic x-rays. It definitely shouldn't be a traumatic experience.

[Teachin'Mine]

Call around and see if you can find a dentist who uses digital x-rays. What they put in the mouth is so much smaller and more comfortable than the old style which can really hurt.

[The Governess]

Yes, bribery. It took us two visits, but in the end my extremely stubborn Dd5 scored a set of Barbie fairy dolls that I would normally never buy. Not my proudest parenting moment, but it did work. ;)

[Melissa in FL]

No, I don't have a child like this. But I wanted to let you know that my father refused to let the dentist take x-rays of me or my sister. I did have cavities as a kid but they were found the old fashioned way, by the dentist looking. I wasn't allowed to have x-rays till my senior year when I needed to get my wisdom teeth out. X-rays are only one tool that a dentist has to use. If your dentist is giving you a hard time about HAVING to x-ray your son, find a new one.

Melissa

[The Governess]

No, I don't have a child like this. But I wanted to let you know that my father refused to let the dentist take x-rays of me or my sister. I did have cavities as a kid but they were found the old fashioned way, by the dentist looking. I wasn't allowed to have x-rays till my senior year when I needed to get my wisdom teeth out. X-rays are only one tool that a dentist has to use. If your dentist is giving you a hard time about HAVING to x-ray your son, find a new one.

Melissa

 

On the other hand, my dd's dentist found five cavities in between her teeth on the x-ray that were not visible during the exam. A couple of them are huge and one is about a millimeter from her root. So, in her case I'm really glad that we got the x-rays done. I had a lot of cavities as a child so I knew this was a possibility for her.

[Melissa in FL]

On the other hand, my dd's dentist found five cavities in between her teeth on the x-ray that were not visible during the exam. A couple of them are huge and one is about a millimeter from her root. So, in her case I'm really glad that we got the x-rays done. I had a lot of cavities as a child so I knew this was a possibility for her.

 

Yes, they are a good tool. We do x-rays for our kids every year. But I wouldn't if it overly stressed one of my kids. And I do agree with you that it really does matter what the family history is like, I believe genetics plays a huge part in our teeth. I just wanted to point out to the OP that not everyone agrees or has x-rays yearly. If her dentist is really pushing she might want to look for one that is willing to look a little closer during the Dr exam and rely less on x-rays.

Melissa

[Cera]

There are certain things in life that must be done even though they are unpleasant. Our 5 year old is incredibly strong willed and she absolutely would not agree to a shot that was needed this year (we delay vax and it was really time).

 

I refuse to physically force the kids to do things with their bodies but this one had to be done so we offered a reward for cooperation and explained that we would do nothing until it was done. It was an inconvenience for me but we stayed home and did nothing (nooutside classes, tv, games, etc), she finally relented after the second missed ballet class, got the shot and received her reward. While I was waiting her out we didn't make it an issue as she is the type of kid to dig in her heels and refuse on principle.

 

I am hoping that each year gets easier though I am not holding my breath.

[Sandra in FL]

much smaller, more comfortable and 1/4 of the radiation. They are really neat. The dentist can zoom in and check out trouble spots. Why didn't I think of inventing these? :-)

 

Blessings,

Sandra

[cbollin]

Have they thought about doing the panorama xrays instead?

.

 

that was my question too :)

 

That's what we've done with our sensory issue autism child (age 7). It wasn't the perfect x-ray as she moved a tiny bit, but it was good enough. She watched her sisters go first. The thingy that they bite down on doesn't restrict the head from moving -- she got a little interested in watching the machine move around. They bite on the front teeth.

 

 

I can't tolerate dental x-rays unless they use smaller film. I don't know how or what we'll do for those bite wing things on any of my kids --- we're rather petite in this family, but pan X has been the only x-rays my kids have had done at that age. And the digital thing too. :)

 

and oh yeah... we have regular check ups today.... lovely.... still trying to figure out how to get my autism child to open her mouth when they need to polish. She's getting better each year....

 

-crystal

[delaney]

My oldest is 14 and still can't do it. His food allergies have developed into a MASSIVE gag reflex and he just can't hold the films in his mouth. They have had to IV sedate him on a few occasions to do work in his mouth and they do the films then. He once pushed them out with his tongue while unconscious! Thankfully he has great adult teeth and won't need braces like the rest cause there is NO WAY they could get in there. I feel your pain. It is so hard!

[Pamela H in Texas]

I can't imagine there is any way to force it.

 

I'd encourage (bravery, etc).

I'd bribe (not much I'd use bribery and rewards for, but....)

I'd find alternatives (some mentioned above).

 

Those things hurt SO bad. At some point, you allow it because it makes sense. Though you can reason with a 7yo, he can't REALLY get the consequences in order to make the right choice. And it's hard to blame him when it hurts so bad!

[stripe]

I just wanted to say I love this thread.

 

I am so tired of seeing young children expected to do things, or being informed by prospective dentists' offices that I am not "allowed" to accompany my kids (and not to mention the doctor I saw on the news who was recently arrested for sexual acts on children, some committed in less than 45 seconds!!! -- I almost threw up).

 

I would discuss with your dentists what options there are, and then discuss with your son whatever the results are. Maybe you need to see if there are different options from other dentists. I have to negotiate shots with my kids ever since one really bad experience that they still vividly remember (and I since did have a discussion with a different doctor we saw while traveling after my daughter reported the needle was really big -- and, guess what, they did have smaller needles...which he then used), but I am actually rather proud of such kids. So I think it's wonderful that you are so understanding.

[TravelingChris]

My youngest is the most stubborn kid ever. SHe is also my one with the most medical issues including that she is on her third orthodontics program. I agree with others in the discussion, bribery, and alternatives. Actually, I ended up having to bribe for good behavior at shots for all the kids when they were little (and the olders not so little ((up to about age 10)) ). My routine I developed was shot then matchbox car or hot rod car of their choice. Easy and cheap bribe and they liked it. My youngest actually had no issues with shots or other medical procedures until she had a horrible experience at the VA hospital when she was five. Then we had issues. But pastry after shot or shake or something like that is still the norm for her with her allergy shots and her blood work. I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing because it is how adults tend to do it too. Get through a bad day at work, have a beer or have some chocolate.

[woolybear]

I also have one of those kids. I think sometimes doctors or dentists have a set way of doing things and don't like to deviate from it and we parents follow along sometimes. It is good to think about how necessary something really is. You could research it and maybe discover that waiting is fine.

 

My ds was supposed to have the Chicken Pox vaccine last year. Well......he ended up standing on top of the exam table screaming and crying hysterically and saying, "Please don't make me. Don't let them touch me." One nurse after another gave up on him. I think they expected me to "make" him, but how could I? I figured we could go back and do it another time. Well, I talked to some friends and then researched it and came to the conclusion that it wasn't necessary at that time. Two months later I believe (not certain) he had a mild case of Chicken Pox. Will that keep him from getting it again? Maybe, maybe not. At any rate, I'm glad I didn't push it.

 

Had I felt it really necessary I'm not sure what I would've done. I do think offering something special afterward is a good option.

 

I forgot to mention we also had an issue at the dentist. Ds had sealant put on and threw up. He begged not to have to go back and do it again and .......we haven't.:001_huh: Again, I'm not convinced it's necessary.

 

At any rate, :grouphug:. Let us know what you decide.

 

Woolybear

[ProudGrandma]

I am "blessed" with 3 kids who HATE the dentist...becasue of the X-Rays...our latest visit (and our last to this dentist) Who happened to be a ped dentist...told our son to "Shut Up" because he was complaining too much about the X-Rays. I have been watching this thread carefully...for me, I know bribing them would NOT work...but I am interested in the digital x-rays...are they a lot more expensive...will insurance cover them?

 

Thanks for this discussion ladies!!

 

Kathy

[Garga]

You know, the dentist said that next time they'll have their digital xray machine set up and that maybe my son would do the xrays because he'd get to see the picture right away.

 

I thought, "Yeah, right. He's not going to care if he can see it right away."

 

But you guys are telling me that the digital ones are smaller and don't hurt as much. This is good news!

 

He has the gag reflex and if it hurts, he just won't do it. Period. Oh, he'll say he will, the entire way to the dentist, "Yes, Mommy. I'll do the xrays today, even if they hurt a bit." Then we get there and...nope. Won't do it.

 

I also like the idea of the panoramic xrays, if the digital stuff is still to painful or makes him gag.

 

The dentists are not pushing this hard. They've been trying gently for two years, but the dentist said that she saw a shadow on one of the teeth and was really hoping to get an xray to see if it's a cavity or not. The film they use is the small film, but it still hurts. They use small film on me and it still hurts and I'm a grown up!

[stephanie78]

:lurk5:

 

We are having this same issue with my 6 year old DS. We have always taken our kids to a family dentist, who also does not believe in traumatizing the kids. They have always been able to get panoramic x-rays of him but never the digital x-rays inside of his mouth. This past visit (which was last week) they found a cavity that they really need better x-rays of. He has an easy gag reflex and they couldn't get them. They have referred him to a pediatric dentist which unfortunately we can't get in to see until mid-March. So right now we are waiting to see what they say.

[courtney.byrum]

You know, the dentist said that next time they'll have their digital xray machine set up and that maybe my son would do the xrays because he'd get to see the picture right away.

 

I thought, "Yeah, right. He's not going to care if he can see it right away."

 

But you guys are telling me that the digital ones are smaller and don't hurt as much. This is good news!

 

He has the gag reflex and if it hurts, he just won't do it. Period. Oh, he'll say he will, the entire way to the dentist, "Yes, Mommy. I'll do the xrays today, even if they hurt a bit." Then we get there and...nope. Won't do it.

 

I also like the idea of the panoramic xrays, if the digital stuff is still to painful or makes him gag.

 

The dentists are not pushing this hard. They've been trying gently for two years, but the dentist said that she saw a shadow on one of the teeth and was really hoping to get an xray to see if it's a cavity or not. The film they use is the small film, but it still hurts. They use small film on me and it still hurts and I'm a grown up!

 

Our office uses the digital x-rays. With my DD (very small mouth) they did just the front and not the bitewing xrays the first time. She has actually had xrays 4 times I think - 3 on the front, she has badly chipped her front teeth and needed to make sure she didn't damage the roots. The last time they did the bitewings once her mouth was big enough to use the smallest ones they had (at 4).

 

On the other hand my DS (bigger mouth) didn't get xrays until he was 5 as that was when his molars were finally very close together, that's the earliest they normally do them. He got a kick out of seeing his teeth on the monitor last week when they had to see what his teeth were doing before extracting 2 - so maybe your DS will be the same :)

[Sputterduck]

It took 4 people to hold me down to take my blood when I was little. I grew out of it. In fact, I have not defended myself when I should have as an adult so... maybe he'll grow out of it?

 

Maybe you can explain to him that being held down hurts worse than the xrays themselves?