As Grandparents...

[Goodallmomma]

Would you be willing to do it all over again and homeschool your grandchildren for your children? I'm not old enough to be a grandparent yet, but another post planted this seed. Now I'm curious what all of you would do...

Me? I don't know if I could do a round 2.

[Parrothead]

I'd do it.

[Pamela H in Texas]

We've discussed it. It's a possibility.

[LauraGB]

I'm not a grandparent yet either, but I would sincerely hope that my kids would be able to provide what is needed for thier own children. Under "normal" circumstances, I would say no, just based on pure principle.

 

However, if for some tragic reason I were to "inherit" said grandchildren, then yes, I would homeschool them. Absolutely.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

I'm not a grandparent yet either, but I would sincerely hope that my kids would be able to provide what is needed for thier own children. Under "normal" circumstances, I would say no, just based on pure principle.

 

However, if for some tragic reason I were to "inherit" said grandchildren, then yes, I would homeschool them. Absolutely.

 

:iagree:

[AnitaMcC]

Would you be willing to do it all over again and homeschool your grandchildren for your children? I'm not old enough to be a grandparent yet, but another post planted this seed. Now I'm curious what all of you would do...

Me? I don't know if I could do a round 2.

 

Only if it was the crucial for grandkid(s) would I homeschool them. I would hope that my kids would be able to do what is needed for their kids. I am already too tired-LOL. But also... Dh and I have lots of plans for when we are "empty-nesters". And much of our plans include traveling overseas.

Edited January 25, 2010 by AnitaMcC

[Goodallmomma]

I'm not a grandparent yet either, but I would sincerely hope that my kids would be able to provide what is needed for thier own children. Under "normal" circumstances, I would say no, just based on pure principle.

 

However, if for some tragic reason I were to "inherit" said grandchildren, then yes, I would homeschool them. Absolutely.

 

What if both your child and their spouse needed to work to support their family, but didn't want the children in public school?

[Cera]

Full time, no. I might consider part time depending on the kids and what is going on in my life at that point (say Tues/Thurs if my kids wanted to work 2 days a week).

[AnitaMcC]

What if both your child and their spouse needed to work to support their family, but didn't want the children in public school?

 

 

That is a tough situation and it would be a hard decision for me, but I would still say no... unless it was crucial for the grandkid(s) to be homeschooled.

[LauraGB]

What if both your child and their spouse needed to work to support their family, but didn't want the children in public school?

 

My immediate response to that is that as a family, decisions need to be made, so make them (meaning my kids and thier own immediate families).

 

Now, since (way deep down inside) my heart is much softer than my words ;), I'd consider it. BUT, I would definitely help them with their work situation as much I could before I would help them develop their family philosophies. And if I did so, I'd do it reluctantly, and I'd be loud about the reluctance part.

 

Dh and I grew up a lot because of our kids. Because of what we wanted for our kids, we became Who and How we are. With no parental assistance. I think, had there been much help there, we wouldn't be who and how we are today. Those children were a serious kick in the pants to get going on responsibility and life. I don't want to impede that important part of life for my own kids.

[StartingOver]

I am a grandmother, still homeschooling my own. My oldest was born in 1988, my youngest in 2008. I was homeschooling two step daughters before that. My youngest will graduate approx. 2024-2026.

 

I would homeschool my grandchildren. If they both needed to work or some other issue that prevented them from doing it. If it was what they wanted, sure. I will still be homeschooling for a very long time.

 

If I had my grandchildren to raise for any reason, I would never ever give it a second though.

 

I really think the individualized education that we provide as homeschoolers is unequaled.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

What if both your child and their spouse needed to work to support their family, but didn't want the children in public school?

 

No. I would hope that they would make whatever sacrifices they need to make it happen someday if that is what they wished for their own children.

 

I see a lot of grandparents take on the care of grandchildren to help out struggling parents who end up driving nicer cars than grandma and go on nicer vacations than grandma and living in nicer houses than grandma after a few short years -- yet still can't afford to live on one income. I've even seen a child get angry with their parent for not helping out (taking care of) with grandbaby number two. Nobody even asked if grandma had it in her to take care of TWO toddlers, they just assumed....

 

If mom had been homeschooling and gotten ill, I would step in, but in the other scenario, I would not.

 

K

[Cedarmom]

I would certainly help, but no I don't think I would do it all. Some of my friends had their parents babysit their kids full time while they work, and it just seemed to create too much of an etitelement attitude-my friends thougt their parents owed it to them to watch their children. Now if there were some special circumstances yes I probably would.

[lllll]

Yeah, I'd be honored to do it, if it seemed like the right thing to do. Unfortunately, it looks like it's a real possibility that I'll be dead and buried before I ever have grandchildren. We'll see.

 

But it would have to occur after much discussion with both their parents. Unless it was some kind of emergency where I had to jump right in.

 

I've often thought how much fun it would be to take on a few more kids to hs, now that I know more what I'm doing and am more comfortable with the whole thing. I wouldn't care if they were grandkids or not. Just kids in general would be great. Oh well.

 

Oh yeah. Our 21yod has also expressed interest in hs'ing young kids, too. Not necessarily hers (since she's not even married); just kids. :)

[Susie in SWVA]

What if both your child and their spouse needed to work to support their family, but didn't want the children in public school?

 

I am a grandparent and this is our situation, sort of. My dd 28(homeschool grad) has a rather worthless BA degree and is working in an ER. Her husand works two, sometimes more, jobs. Dd would like to go back to school to become a nurse practitioner, but can only do it if I homeschool my grandson in a year or two. They can't afford to pay a sitter for two children (she is expecting in Feb.) I am very willing to do this for her. In fact, I'm looking forward to it.

 

Susie in SWVA

[FairProspects]

Wow! I'm surprised by the tone of some of the responses on this thread. Around here it is pretty common for grandparents to watch their grandchildren while the parents work. I understand that homeschooling adds another dimension to that care, but it seems like a natural extension of early childhood care for some families. It is certainly not about irresponsibility or nice cars, just a very high cost of living area!!

 

And some of those "difficult choices" you all are talking about, might mean the grandkids have to move across the country to find affordable housing. Would you rather homeschool the grandkids (even part-time) and see them or not see them at all since they live so far away?

Edited January 26, 2010 by FairProspects

[PollyOR]

No. I love my grandchildren, but I'm not their mama.

 

:rant:

Some adult children need boundaries! My adult dd would like for me to raise her children while she attends the university (and cook her supper several times a week, clean her house, send her sisters over to babysit, etc.) She NEEDS to be the mama, not me. Hence, my grandchildren are in daycare just a few miles down the road. Breaks my heart, but it is the parents' choice.

[PollyOR]

Wow! I'm surprised by the tone of some of the responses on this thread. Around here it is pretty common for grandparents to watch their grandchildren while the parents work. I understand that homeschooling adds another dimension to that care, but it seems like a natural extension of early childhood care for some families. Certainly not about irresponsibility or nice cars, just a very high cost of living area!!

 

Of course, each decision should be made individually. In my situation, it is about a lack of responsibility (my opinion).

[LauraGB]

And some of those "difficult choices" you all are talking about, might mean the grandkids have to move across the country to find affordable housing. Would you rather homeschool the grandkids (even part-time) and see them or not see them at all since they live so far away?

 

Again, it comes down to the choices the parents make for thier families. No, I certainly wouldn't love it if my grandchildren were across the country. But, if that's what my child (the mother or father) needed to do to make thier lives liveable, then so be it. Because life would have dealt us all this situation, I'd make sure I had a way to visit often.

[LibraryLover]

No. I would not take on day -to- day hsing. I would be supportive, help when I could, and offer financial resources for music lessons, special programming or classes, museum memberships, and travel opportunities.

[mom4him]

Would you be willing to do it all over again and homeschool your grandchildren for your children? I'm not old enough to be a grandparent yet, but another post planted this seed. Now I'm curious what all of you would do...

Me? I don't know if I could do a round 2.

It isn't grandchildren but I am doing it a second time. I homeschooled the youngest two of my older 3 and I am now homeschooling my youngest two that we were blessed with through adoption.

I have to be honest, I am not sure if I could add in my grandchildren as they are also adopted and one especially is special needs. Him with my own ds would really be a hand full. I guess it would depend on the circumstance and what kind of support there would be.

For me I don't think I would know for sure until I was faced with the situation.

[JoyfulMama]

I agree with the PP that said she would care for the children 1-2 days/week. I know many grandparents who love to have their grandchild(ren) an assigned one or two days a week. I would love to do that for mine as long as I am healthy enough for it!

I wouldn't mind having them do a couple things from their regular school-work, but think I would like to be somewhat flexible with the activities that we do together.

 

On the flip side, it would benefit us greatly if I could work very part-time, however can't around my dh's mercurial and demanding schedule. I would love the cooperation of a grandparent who would be willing to care for the kids a few days a month in order for me to do that - vs paying $10-15/hr for care, which would make my wages not as attractive. (Not saying I wouldn't pay them for their time - I paid my SIL as a nanny when we had our first child, and I worked very part-time.)

[DawnM]

No. I plan to go back to work when I finish homeschooling (and maybe even before all of them are through), so I won't be available. Maybe in retirement, but I would really not want to.

 

Dawn

[katilac]

Probably not. I'm very open to being an involved grandparent who babysits a lot and certainly HELPS with homeschooling, but I doubt I would wish to do so full-time. First of all, I'll likely be working. Second of all, I consider hs'ing them full-time to be very nearly raising them. I can't imagine hs'ing under someone else's direction, and if a parent isn't directing it, and a parent isn't doing it, I'm not sure I consider it hs'ing any more. More of an exclusive education at my very private school, lol.

 

I do think it's up to parents to create, as much as possible, the life they want for their own family, using their own resources and abilities. For example, I would not hs grandkids b/c both parents have to work, b/c if they are truly in a situation of requiring two incomes, that's their long-term reality, one they need to adjust to and make work. If they don't truly both need to work, I would expect them to make the adjustments needed for one of them to stay home.

 

I'll tell them like my mama told me, "Do what you want to do, but keep in mind that I have rocked my babies" - - meaning, don't expect me to raise yours! In the normal course of events, that means I expect them to not have kids until they have a notion of how they're going to pay for them, because I am not going to be the free babysitter.

 

Someone mentioned being surprised at the tone of some of the replies, and I know it can SOUND mean to say you won't help when your kids say they need you. But I think it's far more helpful to drum it into my kids that they are responsible for thinking ahead and planning, and that, if they want to, they can indeed choose the path of staying home with their young children, or homeschooling both their young and older ones. I hate to think of all that I would have lost had I listened to the people who said families these days 'need' two incomes, daycare, and outside school. As wonderful as it has been, I don't want to do it again with the grandkids; I want THEM to do it with their own kids!

[AnitaMcC]

Probably not. I'm very open to being an involved grandparent who babysits a lot and certainly HELPS with homeschooling, but I doubt I would wish to do so full-time. First of all, I'll likely be working. Second of all, I consider hs'ing them full-time to be very nearly raising them. I can't imagine hs'ing under someone else's direction, and if a parent isn't directing it, and a parent isn't doing it, I'm not sure I consider it hs'ing any more. More of an exclusive education at my very private school, lol.

 

I do think it's up to parents to create, as much as possible, the life they want for their own family, using their own resources and abilities. For example, I would not hs grandkids b/c both parents have to work, b/c if they are truly in a situation of requiring two incomes, that's their long-term reality, one they need to adjust to and make work. If they don't truly both need to work, I would expect them to make the adjustments needed for one of them to stay home.

 

I'll tell them like my mama told me, "Do what you want to do, but keep in mind that I have rocked my babies" - - meaning, don't expect me to raise yours! In the normal course of events, that means I expect them to not have kids until they have a notion of how they're going to pay for them, because I am not going to be the free babysitter.

 

Someone mentioned being surprised at the tone of some of the replies, and I know it can SOUND mean to say you won't help when your kids say they need you. But I think it's far more helpful to drum it into my kids that they are responsible for thinking ahead and planning, and that, if they want to, they can indeed choose the path of staying home with their young children, or homeschooling both their young and older ones. I hate to think of all that I would have lost had I listened to the people who said families these days 'need' two incomes, daycare, and outside school. As wonderful as it has been, I don't want to do it again with the grandkids; I want THEM to do it with their own kids!

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

If my kids want to have kids... then they better be ready and willing to do the raising of them when they have kids. Part of life is making the choices and adjustments that is needed for the family. When I am to become a grandma... I want to be the grandma and not be the mom to my grandchild.

 

I had to make many decisions and changes to my "plans" when we decided to have kids and I woudn't change any of it. I had to put my college education on hold and and go a slower schedule when I was able to continue.

 

No way would I even consider to ask my parents or Dh's parents to do full time daycare or hsing so I could continue on with my prechild life. Maybe it sounds harsh for me to feel same in return for my kids and their kids... but it is the way my parents raised us (and my Dh's parents raised him) and how we are raising our kids.

 

When I do have grandkids I sure would like to be a part of their lives... but not full time parenting them.

[StephanieZ]

Would you be willing to do it all over again and homeschool your grandchildren for your children? I'm not old enough to be a grandparent yet, but another post planted this seed. Now I'm curious what all of you would do...

Me? I don't know if I could do a round 2.

 

I don't know. . . I'd love to spend loads of time with future grandkids. . . and be of support to my adult kids. . . but hs'ing is a FT job. . . and would leave little time for other ways of supporting and enjoying the kids and grandkids. . .

 

I think I'd consider it under special circumstances. . . i.e., few grandkids. . .special need kid(s). . .

 

but, I'd much rather that my adult children have the financial and time flexibility to be (at least mostly) home with their own kids (home-schooling or not) rather than having me do it. It's a goal of mine that each of them attain that degree of financial "freedom" (so that they or a spouse can be the primary care taker of their kids) by making good choices in their own education (and subsequent career) as well as good choice of a spouse.

 

I'd also hope that my kids are as passionate about being with / nurturing their kids as dh and I are about our own. . .

 

Personally, I'd rather be the "nice grandma" who babysits frequently, takes the kids for a week once a year so the parents can go on holiday alone, takes the whole gang to the beach for a week or two each year. . . etc, etc. Being the "heavy" with my own kids is enough. . .I want to be the "nice one" with the grandkids if possible.

[eternalknot]

For the past year, my mom has helped homeschool my son. She would just as soon I put him in school (and even offered to pay for the school of my choice) but she understands why I homeschool and she supports that - not just passively with words, but actively by her actions. It's not a huge crimp to her lifestyle, but we're also probably less rigorous in the elementary years than are many here. It also doesn't prevent her from travelling or doing anything else - we simply plan around these things. She doesn't do it full-time, but is involved enough that I take her input and time into consideration when choosing curricula.

 

Then again, I come from a culture where it's very common for multigenerational families to live together and/or for grandparents to be secondary caregivers while parents work or go to school. Being a family is much more extended-focused than it is nuclear-focused, and I wouldn't care to live any other way. I guess we don't view entitlement-driven codependency as being the same thing as functional dependency. We've got functional dependency down to an art :)

 

I'd definitely homeschool my grandkids, if asked to. Barring that, I'd gladly contribute financially to the home so that my child or child-in-law could stay home and do the homeschooling his- or herself. Also not uncommon in my culture. My kids aren't growing up in the same ethnic community that I did, and I sure hope that some of our family values survive the acculturization process.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I am hoping that I am still around and have my faculties and such to at least help out;)

[HSMom2One]

I am doing that. My 10 yo dd is actually my biological granddaughter. Dh and I adopted her as a babe in arms and are "mommy" and "daddy" to her. We made the decision to bring her home for schooling after she finished 2nd grade in ps, and we have never looked back.

 

Being a second time around parent is challenging - yes, but I would not trade it for the world. I can't tell you how much joy this child has brought into our lives and how thankful we are to have this incredible opportunity!

 

If my other grandchildren lived closer to me, I'd hs them too -- in a heart beat!

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

Edited January 26, 2010 by HSMom2One

[Rebecca VA]

I'd consider it a privilege to be asked. I don't think I would have the strength to teach full-time, but I'd try to help out in any way I could.

[DesertDweller]

I'd be up for an occasional field trip, maybe come over and read or share in a special project. But, no. I wouldn't homeschool my grandkids. I'm tired and ready to be done. The only teaching I want to do would be for myself and my own benefit if I decide to go back to college.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Probably not. I'm very open to being an involved grandparent who babysits a lot and certainly HELPS with homeschooling, but I doubt I would wish to do so full-time. First of all, I'll likely be working. Second of all, I consider hs'ing them full-time to be very nearly raising them. I can't imagine hs'ing under someone else's direction, and if a parent isn't directing it, and a parent isn't doing it, I'm not sure I consider it hs'ing any more. More of an exclusive education at my very private school, lol.

 

I do think it's up to parents to create, as much as possible, the life they want for their own family, using their own resources and abilities. For example, I would not hs grandkids b/c both parents have to work, b/c if they are truly in a situation of requiring two incomes, that's their long-term reality, one they need to adjust to and make work. If they don't truly both need to work, I would expect them to make the adjustments needed for one of them to stay home.

 

I'll tell them like my mama told me, "Do what you want to do, but keep in mind that I have rocked my babies" - - meaning, don't expect me to raise yours! In the normal course of events, that means I expect them to not have kids until they have a notion of how they're going to pay for them, because I am not going to be the free babysitter.

 

Someone mentioned being surprised at the tone of some of the replies, and I know it can SOUND mean to say you won't help when your kids say they need you. But I think it's far more helpful to drum it into my kids that they are responsible for thinking ahead and planning, and that, if they want to, they can indeed choose the path of staying home with their young children, or homeschooling both their young and older ones. I hate to think of all that I would have lost had I listened to the people who said families these days 'need' two incomes, daycare, and outside school. As wonderful as it has been, I don't want to do it again with the grandkids; I want THEM to do it with their own kids!

 

I totally agree.

[IsabelC]

I would be prepared to do it if needed, but it wouldn't be my preference. Like some others, I would rather be an involved teacher's assistant or extra mentor to any future grandchildren, working with the kids' parents rather than replacing them.

[orangearrow]

I'm not a grandparent yet either, but I would sincerely hope that my kids would be able to provide what is needed for thier own children. Under "normal" circumstances, I would say no, just based on pure principle.

 

However, if for some tragic reason I were to "inherit" said grandchildren, then yes, I would homeschool them. Absolutely.

 

 

:iagree:

 

Ideally, I certainly don't want to raise or school my grandchildren. I'm hoping to get the kids I do have to become well-educated, thoughtful, hard-working adults - when they have kids they can make their own decisions and I'll just help out when/however I can.

 

But, for day-in, day-out - I have plans! I have things to do after I get these kids raised!! ROFLOL I don't want to be raising their kids, thankyouverymuch. :D

 

Now, if they were homeschooling their kids - I would be open to perhaps teaching one subject a couple times a week - or taking the kids to field trips - or P.E. or other classes - so my child could have a little free time, or time to work with another child or something. That, I would do happily. And, if they put their kids in public or private school, I'd still be happy to do some fun literature side projects, or chaperone field trips and such.

 

But, every single day? Nooooo thanks. I'll have put in something like 18 years of homeschooling by that point and will be more than ready for a change. :lol: