Neighborhood with amenities vs. big yard

[Bess]

What would you rather have if you could choose:

 

edited to add: Also consider the Grandparent's house was a 5 minute drive away, and they live on 4 acres with woods and pond which you would visit once a week at least?

 

1: wonderful neighborhood with gated entry and sidewalks everywhere, where you could walk or ride bikes to the beautiful healthclub/pool and tennis courts, and also a shopping center INSIDE the neighborhood (with grocery,cafes, and other shops)

 

BUT with a very small yard only big enough for a swingset.

 

2: the same size home NOT in a neighborhood with amenities, but have a 1/2 acre yard.

Edited January 13, 2010 by Bess

[Heather in OK]

No question...#2.

[melissel]

Seven years ago, we picked number 2, and to be honest, we're sorry often that we didn't go with something more like number 1. We have to drive everywhere, we feel no sense of community, and we simply don't use our big, boring suburban yard. I think I'd MISS the yard if we didn't have it, but as it is now, we'd use the other amenities much more than we use the yard.

 

ETA: I think no matter what you choose, though, there's always going to be a "grass is always greener" thing happening.

[Carrie12345]

I live in an amenity-filled community and I absolutely HATE it! :glare:

[FairProspects]

I live in an amenity-filled community and I absolutely HATE it! :glare:

 

Me too!!

[MariannNOVA]

DH and I have had to make that decision 5 times in the past 9 years here in NoVa. Presently (and where we intend to stay) we opted for the 1/2 acre as opposed to the gated community.

 

However, we do back onto a golf course and we are grandfathered in to join the golf club and pool (and we do join the pool and dh plays golf there) - but we had truly become tired of the postage stamp lot even though the amenities were truly great.

 

My kids want to play in the yard - they want to move bricks and other rocks and stones from one end of the yard to the other, and if the weather allows, they want to be out there for hours. Last summer when my DD30 came to visit with my two grand-daughters (6 y/o and 3 y/o) all five kids moved rocks, twigs, bricks, the plastic playhouse, and everything else you can think of all over the yard. They loved it.

 

Me? I prefer the amenities -- but, I am tired of fighting that battle.

 

Mariann

[mooooom]

We are so isolated in a regular neighborhood - people are not friendly, there are no other kids around and you can't walk anywhere - there aren't sidewalks either. I think smaller yards encourage neighborliness.

 

I would love to be close to things to do and other people.

[MelanieM]

#1, hands down. In fact, that's similar to what we have now, minus the shops inside the gated community. (We have lots of shops within walking distance though, and wouldn't have bought here otherwise.) It is soooo nice to spend summer days at the pool and playing out in the street with our neighbours.

 

I do sometimes wish we had a big yard, but I wouldn't trade what we do have for that one aspect. So I have added it to the wish list for our next place. :D

[Slartibartfast]

We picked #2 but we have an acre. :)

 

I can make as big of a garden as I want. :) A lot of those neighborhoods also freak out if you don't mow every other day, if they don't like the color of your mailbox, if you take your trashcan out at the wrong time...ect.

[MotherMayI]

Although I long for some land I'd pick number one on the condition it was on a cul de sac. If no cul de sac, then I'd go for the 1/2 acre lot. We currently are renting and we live on an acre. I do love it, but to be within walking distance of a pool and tennis courts would be a huge perk for my family. (Especially with homeschooling and flexible schedules.)

[Jumping In Puddles]

Seven years ago, we picked number 2, and to be honest, we're sorry often that we didn't go with something more like number 1. We have to drive everywhere, we feel no sense of community, and we simply don't use our big, boring suburban yard. I think I'd MISS the yard if we didn't have it, but as it is now, we'd use the other amenities much more than we use the yard.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

The yard should be big enough to have a small garden, and less yard = less yard work!

[Danestress]

We have a half acre. A fair amount of it is landscaped, so there is not a ton of play space.

 

I think if the choice were between 3 wooded acres with a stream and some fruit trees, I would go with the bigger property. But 1/2 acre? I wouldn't give up the amenities if they are important to you and you think you would really enjoy them. If it's nice enough to play outside in the yard, it's nice enough to go to the park. I would just make the park more part of my day, but only if you really think your kids will enjoy playing tennis (one of my is a daily player), swim, etc. Having shopping in my neighborhood seems like a negative to me.

[Sahamamama]

I picked the yard, but only because we live in NJ, so it's not outdoor swimming weather most of the year. We do have a yucky backyard in a dumpy, ugly, crime-infested neighborhood (wanna buy my house? ;)), but it's nothing special.

 

The more important consideration for me would be BEAUTY. Not, "How big is it?" but "Is it beautiful?"

 

Let me tell you, after these past several years of looking out the kitchen window at my neighbor's rusty sink pipe (sticking out of his wall), I really, really, really would like to see something beautiful....

 

Ugly gets old fast. Beauty is what I'm longing for. HTH.

[abbeyej]

I would go with #1. Being able to walk to interesting places (including the park) and having kids to play with outside makes a bigger difference (in our family at least!) in how much time the kids spend outside than the size of *our* physical lot. As Dana says, you're not talking about the difference between a tiny yard and a big, rural lot -- you're talking about a very small lot with a lot of interesting things (that you sound excited about!) vs a nice yard without all of those other things.

[Greta]

For me, no contest: #1. But I'm not sure how similar my life circumstances are to yours. I hate yard work. I'm not a gardener. I have only one child who doesn't spend much time at all playing (alone) in the back yard. The quality of my life seems to be inversely proportional to the amount of time I spend in a car. So, hating traffic and hating yard work makes #1 sound pretty idyllic. I often wished we lived in a more urban setting, but we're in suburbia with a big yard we never use and the need to drive almost everywhere we go.

[MariannNOVA]

We are so isolated in a regular neighborhood - people are not friendly, there are no other kids around and you can't walk anywhere - there aren't sidewalks either. I think smaller yards encourage neighborliness.

 

I would love to be close to things to do and other people.

 

That is SO interesting - everyone's experience can be SO different

 

We have been in a gated community three times now -- the smaller yards did not make for anything except great unhappiness in my kids (they want a yard - PERIOD - I'm tired of fighting it) The neighbors were some of the most un-neighborly folks we had ever met -- which was fine - at least they didn't have their noses in everyone's business.

Then-- we were in a 'Money Magazine' Best Place to Live town here in Fairfax County in a very traditional neighborhood, and we HATED it. I could not stand having people poking into our business 24/7 ('How many hours did you do school today?' - they could not stand the fact that they all moved into the neighborhood b/c of the public schools and we used private school and homeschooled). The kids tended to be catty and nosy and inappropriate. The few families that we did bother with quickly came to the conclusion that since I was 'home,' I was the perfect person to have their kids to play while they 'just ran to the store.' I put an end to that quite quickly.

When we began looking for our next house, the number one criteria was 'NO NEIGHBORHOODS' -- so we are on a road that is rather well-travelled during rush hour, but otherwise fairly quiet - my kids play in the yard in the back -- they cannot play in the front. We have a very long driveway. The neighbors on both sides of us have lived there for years and keep to themselves.

Yes, there are times when I wish I didn't have to herd all three into the truck to run to the store, but I love the solitude and the privacy infinitely more. OTOH, in NJ, we lived in a neighborhood with good sized yards, no amenities, neighborhood parties, barbecues, sidewalks, etc, and we loved it. There just seemed to be in that neighborhood a greater level of appropriateness and privacy...which I guess in the end is what will make it or break it for me.

Mariann (who actually has an afternoon with nothing to do!)

Edited January 13, 2010 by MariannNOVA

[Dawn in OH]

#2. But actually I'm hoping for 3+ acres.

[MyLittleWonders]

I voted #2. I am definitely not a "planned community" type of person and I don't want to live somewhere with association fees (not that the OP said anything about that, but most planned type communities around here have associate fees and corresponding rules over what you can and cannot do to your house). We live in a great neighborhood with really nice neighbors. We also live on a piece of land that is 50' x 100' - or 0.11 acres. ;) We would love 0.50 acres! The boys really want a big yard where they can dig, build, climb, play hide & seek, etc. So, that would be my pick.

Edited January 13, 2010 by MyLittleWonders

[Bess]

I voted #2. I am definitely not a "planned community" type of person and I don't want to live somewhere with association fees (not that the OP said anything about that, but most planned type communities around here have associate fees and corresponding rules over what you can and cannot do to your house). We live in a great neighborhood with really nice neighbors. We also live on a piece of land that is 50' x 100' - or 0.11 acres. ;) We would love 0.50 acres! The boys really want a big yard where they can dig, build, climb, play hide & seek, etc. So, that would be my pick.

 

Yes, there are association fees, but we aren't worried about that aspect. I guess *I'm* wanting the neighborhood with amenities, but wondering if I'm short changing my children by going that route. :confused:

[GWOB]

Yes, there are association fees, but we aren't worried about that aspect. I guess *I'm* wanting the neighborhood with amenities, but wondering if I'm short changing my children by going that route. :confused:

 

I feel your pain. We currently live on 8 acres waaaayyyyy out in the middle of nowhere. It sounded lovely at first. The kids would have ample roaming space. We could plant a wonderful garden. And think of all the animals we could put on 8 acres! Then reality set in. The kids don't go much more than 30 ft. from the house. My garden died. I really stink at gardening. Something ate all my chickens that keep pooping everywhere. Our fence is in dire need of repair before we even think of a large animal. The nearest restaurant is Sonic, 8 miles and a good 10 minutes away.

 

I desperately long for amenities! I wish we would have bought a house in town. I wish my kids would have other kids around. I wish we could walk to a park, the library, the grocery store, the town pool.

[Parrothead]

We are so isolated in a regular neighborhood - people are not friendly, there are no other kids around and you can't walk anywhere - there aren't sidewalks either. I think smaller yards encourage neighborliness.

 

I would love to be close to things to do and other people.

:iagree: Me too.

[Heather in AL]

I voted for the big yard (my first poll participation---woo hoo! :lol:)

 

We moved from a 1/2 acre lot with in-ground pool, garden patch, fruit trees and privacy to less than 1/4 acre with community pool & tennis courts.

 

I want my 1/2 acre (preferably 5+ acres, but that's another story).

 

My neighborhood is full of kids. Good for some, but not for us. We're quiet people. The kids are obnoxious in the pool.... bringing inflatable BOATS for crying out loud, so they 'run over' those who just bob along chatting. If you or dh want to swim laps.... good luck! The teenagers arrive unsupervised and, um, roll around together under their pool towels, feel each other up under the water, and swear like sailors (my apologies to sailors!). Uh-huh---honestly. The tennis courts are either in use, or the weather is such that no one wants to be out (98*, anyone?).

 

My required yearly 'dues' pay for repairs to the pool (teens tossing chairs in the pool, wrecking the finish, thereby needing repair), teens smearing birthday cake (with that horrid BLUE icing) all over the deck & into the pool, thereby causing the pool to be closed for cleaning. Someone else (again, teens suspected here) defecated in the pool, causing it to be closed for a week for cleaning. Also, we had to go from a 'key' system to a computerized pass key because (again, the teens) were making copies of their keys for their friends. Also, strangers jump the fence and use the pool after hours. Due to all of the above, a camera/video system was installed...... all of this has happened in four years. We didn't use the pool ONCE this year because of the hassles----oh, and there are only four tables w/umbrellas, and since none of my neighbors close the umbrellas when they leave, they blow over, damaging them, and causing them to be thrown out. Nice, eh? We figure that our chemical cost with having our own pool at the other house was far less than the money we have spent for a pool/tennis courts we don't use.

 

The 'community' feel is not there. I am fortunate to have nice neighbors on either side of me--- but the people behind us are awful. They have 'outdoor speakers', and use them. With the acoustics, we hear basic conversations from them so imagine how much fun those speakers are. Also, because we live on the downside of a mountain, they look right into our backyard. We have NO privacy. Their house was not there when we bought this one, otherwise we would have had second & third thoughts. Scary for when we try to sell...

 

Also, the 'restrictions'..... plant flowers that coordinate with your house's exterior colors. Um.... brown flowers? We had to repaint our one year old mailbox because the 'board' thought a new color would be nice. Several neighbors complain to the board about dogs peeing on their mailboxes. :confused: Almost NO ONE picks up after their dogs (and this is a law, too). What else? Oh, it seems that people feel they are 'deserving of leniency' where laws and courtesy is concerned. No one STOPS at the stop signs.... they all blow through them. And everyone feels it's their right to do whatever they want. People take pride in walking through the neighborhood looking for 'code violators'..... have a shingle that took a beating in the last hail storm and a bit of paint got chipped off? REPORT! You get a nasty gram!! Set your recycling out before nightfall the night before it's due to be picked up? REPORT! You get a nasty gram! Have a guest leave a car parked on the road all night? Oh my!! REPORT REPORT REPORT!! Nasty gram!

 

I LONG for my own space again. Can you tell?

[kokotg]

I said #2. But mostly because the #1 neighborhood sounds like it would be a terrible fit for me. I would gladly sacrifice some yard space for community/walkability if it were a neighborhood I'd be comfortable in (although more acreage would make it a tougher choice).

[gardening momma]

I voted #1, because I don't think 1/2 acre is a big yard.

[grace'smom]

Is there any way to meet the neighbors around both the homes you are interested in? In this economy, they will likely be your neighbors for the foreseeable future, so if it is an unfriendly neighborhood it would be good to find out beforehand... In our neighborhood the people have fairly big backyards, but the houses are also close enough together that people will talk to each other. We're lucky because everyone is very friendly on our street. That's what counts- your immediate street.

 

It's too bad it's not warmer. On our street if you drive by on a warm Saturday you'd be able to stop and talk to several neighbors...

[Hedgehogs4]

depends on if you want a garden or not. i've lived in both. i miss the community pool and the local playgrounds and moms that come out to chat while the kids play on the equipment. i had NO space to garden, though, and that bugged me.

[Woodhaven]

I'd choose #2, without hesitation. :)

[Mommy22alyns]

I'd go for #2. I like my privacy and it doesn't seem like there's a lot of that in the neighborhoods like you describe in #1.

[lionfamily1999]

I would go with 2, but it really depends on what kind of person you are. Would you REALLY use the amenities? I would not. I would, however, use the yard (and do) every day. The kids love the yard.

 

Just curious, what kind of neighborhood is the 1/2 acre in?

 

Also, ime, smaller yards do not necessarily make better neighbors. It just makes them closer. That makes them more likely to be annoying, ime. One open window and a loud radio from across 1 acre is less irritating than an open window and loud radio from 10 feet away, iykwIm.

[Harriet Vane]

Absolutely number 2. No question.

[happyhomemaker25]

As a mom of two maybe soon to be three little boys in a subdivision I would definately go for option 2 any day of the week. I have already told my DH that I will not try to bring another boy into this no yard neighborhood. It's so sad. LOL

[G5052]

I lived in an upscale high-rise apartment when I married DH, then we lived in a townhouse with scads of rules, committees, and yes, sidewalks, tennis courts, and pools.

 

When we decided to move, I decided that I had done enough years in highly regulated living arrangements. We bought in a tiny development (6 houses) with large lots, no extras, and only one page of rules. The homeowner's association never did organize, and so the rules are now gone after ten years and we still like it here. :D

[Rosy]

I voted for #2, but I might change to #1 because of the pool. In a community like that, your kids can ride bikes & scooters in the street. We're a short walk from a private park on the lake, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. We were there all the time last summer. Does #1 have many families? How busy are the streets? That would probably decide it for me. Though I do love my yard, we have .4 acres and having the space is really nice.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

I lived in an upscale high-rise apartment when I married DH, then we lived in a townhouse with scads of rules, committees, and yes, sidewalks, tennis courts, and pools.

 

When we decided to move, I decided that I had done enough years in highly regulated living arrangements. We bought in a tiny development (6 houses) with large lots, no extras, and only one page of rules. The homeowner's association never did organize, and so the rules are now gone after ten years and we still like it here. :D

 

We lived in a townhouse for 10 years, were members of the board and saw plenty of nastiness and lack of privacy. When we sold it, we vowed never again to live in a gated/planned community. We ended up in a less desirable to most folks (thus cheaper) development with larger lots, wide streets (has anyone seen the narrow streets that are in some subdivisions!), and our house backs to a nature reserve. The HOA is all but non-existent and we have nice bon fires at the edge of our yard every other weekend or so for half the year and nobody complains.

 

My brother-in-law lives in a very nice gated community, but I've seen the same disrespect shown by the teenagers there that was described earlier. It would not be worth it to me to try to exist in that environment.

 

K

[jenL]

I live in an amenity-filled community and I absolutely HATE it! :glare:

 

Me too, and once the housing market truly rebounds, we are moving to land. I need my privacy back.

 

I need wider streets, so I'm not dodging cars trying to get to my house because my ammenity-filled community created homes with driveways that are too short. I need people to drive safely, use their manners, watch out for others in a kind way, and less obnoxious children feeling like my yard is theirs just by virtue of them living in the neighborhood. No one uses the sidewalks when it's shorter to cut through yards... I could go on and on...

Edited January 14, 2010 by jenL

[Denisemomof4]

Seven years ago, we picked number 2, and to be honest, we're sorry often that we didn't go with something more like number 1. We have to drive everywhere, we feel no sense of community, and we simply don't use our big, boring suburban yard. I think I'd MISS the yard if we didn't have it, but as it is now, we'd use the other amenities much more than we use the yard.

 

ETA: I think no matter what you choose, though, there's always going to be a "grass is always greener" thing happening.

 

now I'm the complete opposite. I voted for #2 and I could never be happy living with people all around me and sharing pools with them, etc. There would be cliques, kid problems, etc. That type of lifestyle is just NOT me.

 

BUT, we live in the middle of the woods, on a one lane road, and have complete privacy. We could sit outside in our pj's all day and could run inside when we heard a car coming. I absolutely LOVE it.

 

We do have a drive to everything, but that's country life. I would have it no other way. So far away from it all, and yet so close! Everything we REALLY need (bank, dr, dentist, small grocery store, pharmacy) is within 5 miles and I LOVE supporting smaller businesses. But we travel 15 - 20 minutes to the larger stores to save money, too. I just bunch my errands together so I don't have to keep going out that way. I hate dealing with the traffic. ;)

[Denisemomof4]

We are so isolated in a regular neighborhood - people are not friendly, there are no other kids around and you can't walk anywhere - there aren't sidewalks either. I think smaller yards encourage neighborliness.

 

I would love to be close to things to do and other people.

 

I moved from CA to New England and found it odd that most neighbors don't really act "neighborly" out here. Now I don't have neighbors. It's wonderful :D

 

Do you think people in neighborhoods are like this because they're closed in all winter? Out in the country we love to hike through the woods and take the snowmobile for a spin. We spend a LOT of time outdoors now but when we lived in a neighborhood we never did.

[FriedClams]

I voted #1 because 1/2 acre isn't enough room (in my mind's eye here) to "spread out" on. Now - 15-25 acres - I'd live 30-45 minutes from "town" for that! No question!!

[Jenny in Atl]

I have issues with gated communities... would never live in one. I do like the idea of sidewalks, and a more in-town neighborhood feel vs. the cookie cutter subdivision. But, I also like the idea of being out a bit, and having land for small livestock, and a huge garden. At this point in my life, I would rather be close to others, and in-town. So, if I didn't mind the gate...