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What My Boys Said This Year


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This year, Simon turned eleven, Nathan turned eight, Truman turned five, and Julie turned old.

 

December 6th

Nathan: "Does Rudolph's red nose have anything to do with alcoholism?"

 

December 7th

Truman: "Mom, do you want to know something I don't like about my body?"

Julie: "What don't you like about your body?" "I don't like using the bathroom because it takes up part of my fun time."

 

December 14th

Nathan's report on the live nativity he went to: "And they taxed us! So I taxed their dignity! You know how the centurions have those brushes on their helmets? I went up to one and said that the inn wanted its broom back. And then I tap danced."

 

Julie: "What is that twisted piece of metal?"

Nathan: "Modern art. Modern art is junk."

 

January 4

Truman to Julie: "I think we should marry."

 

January 4th

Truman: "Two of Santa's reindeer are hampster and darling."

 

January 7th

Julie and Nathan did a massive and much-needed cleaning cleaning of Nathan's room.

Much later that night . . .

Nathan: "Dad, I can't sleep."

Derrick: "Why?"

Nathan: "My room doesn't feel right."

 

January 14th

"Simon hung a grenade from his ceiling. If you stand under it, he gets to punch you. It's like reverse mistletoe!"

 

January 20th

Nathan cut off his eyelashes.

 

January 21st

Truman: "I had a vision of candy and soda and donuts."

 

January 23rd

Nathan, running to catch up with Julie in a store: "Sorry I fell behind; I was hypnotized by the BB guns."

 

Janaury 26th

Nathan, at the ice skating rink: "I hate this! [sob] I want my money back!"

Twenty minutes later: "I love this! When can we come again?"

 

February 4th

Truman: "Nathan, what was my first swear word? Oh, I remember, it was 'dammit.'"

 

February 13th

Nathan: "Mom, can I have a $145 dollar raise in my allowance?"

 

February 24th

Truman, handing Julie the parmesan and garlic popcorn seasoning: "I want Bad Breath Flavor."

 

February 28th

Truman: "Can the weather decide when it wants to be hot or cold?"

 

Nathan: "The horror! There's only one junk food cereal left and it isn't even that junky!"

 

June 19th

Simon: "I have telekinesis, but I'm too lazy to use it."

 

June 24th

Nathan: "If I told a really funny joke, would God laugh?"

 

June 26th

Nathan, in the middle of his math lesson: "I think I am having a nervous breakdown."

 

July 9th

Julie explains Chik-fil-A's "Dress Like a Cow Day."

Simon: "So let me get this straight . . . a free sandwich, free soda, and free fries . . . in exchange for your dignity."

 

July 12th

Nathan: "I have a plan for world peace, but I'll need a thousand dollar grant."

 

July 24th

Simon: "I am happy."

Julie: "I would not have expected those words out of the mouth of someone washing dishes."

Simon: "It is because I have fulfilled my life's ambition."

Julie: "Oh?"

Simon: "I burped the entire alphabet."

 

Truman says: "Can I say 'gee whiz'? Is that appropriate?"

 

July 25th

Nathan to Truman: "Your breath could stun a yak."

 

August 7th

Julie wishes that just once she could hug Nathan without him yelping in a strangled voice, "medic!"

 

August 16th:

Truman to Julie, "Is it OK if I call you disco dude?"

 

August 25th

Nathan: "Recent scientific discoveries have shown that I do not have an inner child. I have an inner devil."

 

September 7th

Nathan: "IKEA is my favorite place to get food. They have excellent macaroni and cheese and their Dr. Pepper has a cherry-ish hint."

 

September 8th

Truman: "Mom, can you give me a buttermilk bath like they did Wilbur?"

 

September 12th

Simon: "There's a fine line between difficult and funny and some day I am going to find it."

 

September 20th

Nathan: "Is it against our religion to be encased in ice?"

 

September 29th

Julie: "Your next spelling word is 'marriage.'"

What Simon wrote: "EVIL"

 

September 30th

Simon's explanation for not correcting the oral usage errors in his grammar assignment: "Maybe they're hillbillies."

 

October 5th

Truman: "Mom, you are my friend, but if zombies start to chase us, I'm going to trip you."

 

October 7th

We were talking with our kids about issues of trust, attachment, and discipline with foster children. Nathan says, "They should have a system for families like Amazon ratings and so if the kid finds out it is a five-star family, then they know that they can trust them."

 

November 16th

Truman: "Kissing is disgusting. It's just slobbering on people's cheeks."

 

November 23rd

Julie sits on Simon in order to have a chance to hug him. Simon: "Argh! Half a ton of pure mom!"

 

December 1st

For some reason the Wii wouldn't work. Nathan calls Derrick at the office and says, "Dad! I need your help! My life has no meaning!" Unfortunately, D couldn't diagnose it over the phone. Nathan hangs up, looking frantic, and says, "I'm going to have to start quoting Hamlet!"

 

Five years of previous installments of "What the Smith Boys Said This Year" can be accessed through this link: http://timesandseasons.org/index.php/2008/11/what-the-smith-boys-said-this-year-5/

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Nathan's report on the live nativity he went to: "And they taxed us! So I taxed their dignity! You know how the centurions have those brushes on their helmets? I went up to one and said that the inn wanted its broom back. And then I tap danced."

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

 

They're all hilarious, but this one is beyond words!!! How have I never seen this before? :lol::lol:

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