The Duggars' Premie: Could it have been avoided?

[tdeveson]

I didn't know this, but having one kid on top of the other without waiting can lead to stillbirths, premies, and a bunch of other bad stuff, including maternal and infant death.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/forbabiessakepregnancyspacingmatters;_ylt=Ag5pDLImOM8PnSro.03CqOGs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTQ5MDF2OWx1BGFzc2V0A2hzbi8yMDA5MTIxNy9mb3JiYWJpZXNzYWtlcHJlZ25hbmN5c3BhY2luZ21hdHRlcnMEY2NvZGUDbW9zdHBvcHVsYXIEY3BvcwM4BHBvcwM1BHB0A2hvbWVfY29rZQRzZWMDeW5faGVhZGxpbmVfbGlzdARzbGsDZm9yYmFiaWVzc2Fr

 

I, myself, spaced them 17 years apart. (I know -- a bit much. I ended up raising two only children.)

 

What sayeth the Hive?

[Amber in AUS]

My OBGYN said to me to consider waiting for a longer gap if i chose to have more children after little DD because he was concerned about maternal and infant complications as a result of 3 close babies. I had 3 babies in 3 years & 2m. I think his main concern was uterine prolapse.

[grace'smom]

I think the issue with the Duggers was the result of complications from a gallstone, and that really doesn't relate to the spacing between the children... But I could be completely wrong because I do not follow them very closely.

[prairie rose]

Yes, the complication of her pregnancy was the gallstones but gallstones can be aggravated or in some cases even caused by pregnancy. I do think that they had a preemie because of the number of pregnancies but not necessarily because Michelle Duggar's body is getting too old and tired to successfully carry a pregnancy. It's a numbers game. Let's say, hypothetically, that the chances of pregnancy related gall stones are 1 in 20 pregnancies. If a healthy woman has 3 kids, chances are she will never experience them but she could be unlucky and just happen to experience them. If the same healthy woman conceives 15 times, her odds are much higher and if she conceives 20 times, (as Michelle has) it is incredibly likely that she will experience the undesirable outcomes.

 

I have been pregnant 8 times. My first 3 successful pregnancies were completely textbook pregnancies, no problems whatsoever. The first two children were 25 months apart and the second two were 13 months apart, Three and a half years later, while still in my mid twenties, I conceived again but this pregnancy ended up being high risk. Unexplained partial placental abruption put me on bedrest for 6 months and we delivered at 35 weeks. When she was 15 months old we unexpectedly conceived again and that pregnancy was also completely textbook. Things happen, even to completely healthy people with access to the best medical care. I do believe the Duggars are extremely lucky that they haven't experienced this before but all pregnancies carry the risk for complications.

 

ETA: To answer your post title question, no, I do not think it could have been prevented because one has no way of knowing ahead of time whether a pregnancy will be healthy or compromised. She could still go on to have more healthy pregnancies. This also could have happened with her first few children when she was still young. You just never know so no, it was not preventable.

Edited December 17, 2009 by prairie rose

[BigMamaBird]

If your best friend had had a preemie or heaven forbid, a stillbirth or miscarriage, would you be sniffing around trying to pin the blame on their lifestyle :glare:

 

Geeze Louise. Insensitive much?

[Pip]

I had my gall bladder out after my last one. When I was debating whether I would have the surgery, the dr. asked if I was going to have more children because additional pregnancies would aggravated the problem. Many women I know with gall bladder problems found out about it when they were pregnant.

[Renthead Mommy]

If your best friend had had a preemie or heaven forbid, a stillbirth or miscarriage, would you be sniffing around trying to pin the blame on their lifestyle :glare:

 

Geeze Louise. Insensitive much?

 

But the Duggars aren't anyone's 'best friend', they are celebrities. If you are going to put yourself out there, put your kids on TV and basically 'sell' your attention getting lifestyle, you are up for discussion and criticism.

 

Just becuase they come across as some syrupy sweet, overly wholesome, christian family, that doesn't make them any different from Jon and Kate, Tiger Woods, Senators and their wives, movie stars, American Idol winners, bloggers, or even bloggers/writters that were former members here or anyone else. If you put yourself out for the public eye, you are up for debate. And up for people to publicly say they disagree with you, think you did the wrong thing, talk about how much money you made/have/spent, whatever.

 

It doesn't make it insensitive, it makes it talking about 'current affairs' and 'news' topics of the day.

Edited December 17, 2009 by Renthead Mommy
Because as we all know, the wonderful thing about Tiggers is, he's the only one!

[PineFarmMom]

If your best friend had had a preemie or heaven forbid, a stillbirth or miscarriage, would you be sniffing around trying to pin the blame on their lifestyle :glare:

 

Geeze Louise. Insensitive much?

 

I'm sure this isn't the first nor will it be the last criticism the Duggars receive. The beauty of it, though, is that they handle things with such grace and Christ-likeness!! God will take care of them and their sweet baby!! :)

[unsinkable]

But the Duggars aren't anyone's 'best friend', they are celebrities. If you are going to put yourself out there, put your kids on TV and basically 'sell' your attention getting lifestyle, you are up for discussion and criticism.

 

Just becuase they come across as some syrupy sweet, overly wholesome, christian family, that doesn't make them any different from Jon and Kate, Tigger Woods, Senators and their wives, movie stars, American Idol winners, bloggers, or even bloggers/writters that were former members here or anyone else. If you put yourself out for the public eye, you are up for debate. And up for people to publicly say they disagree with you, think you did the wrong thing, talk about how much money you made/have/spent, whatever.

 

It doesn't make it insensitive, it makes it talking about 'current affairs' and 'news' topics of the day.

 

How dare you besmirch Tigger's name by associating him with that philanderer Tiger Woods?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:

[Remudamom]

If she was going to have trouble because of spacing her babies too closely she would have had it long before now.

[Prudent]

But the Duggars aren't anyone's 'best friend', they are celebrities. If you are going to put yourself out there, put your kids on TV and basically 'sell' your attention getting lifestyle, you are up for discussion and criticism.

 

Just becuase they come across as some syrupy sweet, overly wholesome, christian family, that doesn't make them any different from Jon and Kate, Tigger Woods, Senators and their wives, movie stars, American Idol winners, bloggers, or even bloggers/writters that were former members here or anyone else. If you put yourself out for the public eye, you are up for debate. And up for people to publicly say they disagree with you, think you did the wrong thing, talk about how much money you made/have/spent, whatever.

 

It doesn't make it insensitive, it makes it talking about 'current affairs' and 'news' topics of the day.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

I really thought these were discussion boards, not praise and adoration boards.

[fivetails]

 

What sayeth the Hive?

 

I sayeth that you must be in the popcorn selling business. :lurk5:

[Renthead Mommy]

How dare you besmirch Tigger's name by associating him with that philanderer Tiger Woods?

:lol:

 

Opps! My bad! :lol:

 

We are a huge Pooh Bear house, so it's not surprising I've got Tigger on the brain!

[FriedClams]

I agree with you to a point. Yes, when people sign up to be in the public eye they should expect an amount of arm-chair quarterbacking of their lives. However, if

 

Jon and Kate, Tigger Woods, Senators and their wives, movie stars, American Idol winners, bloggers, or even bloggers/writters that were former members here or anyone else.

 

lives or the lives of their children were hanging in the balance, I would hope that people would have the decency to let the emergency pass before judging them. Life threatening, in-the-NICU, sick babies and moms are a completely seperate category from the people you listed and the scandals they were made famous for. Sure, there will be a time for discussion based on the Duggar's "celebrity", but there is also a time for respect and prayer. IMHO we are still well within the prayer and respect time.

 

For our family, we will continue to pray for this (and all) precious babies and their families who are spending Christmas struggling for recovery in the NICU.

[PineFarmMom]

I agree with you to a point. Yes, when people sign up to be in the public eye they should expect an amount of arm-chair quarterbacking of their lives. However, if

 

 

 

lives or the lives of their children were hanging in the balance, I would hope that people would have the decency to let the emergency pass before judging them. Life threatening, in-the-NICU, sick babies and moms are a completely seperate category from the people you listed and the scandals they were made famous for. Sure, there will be a time for discussion based on the Duggar's "celebrity", but there is also a time for respect and prayer. IMHO we are still well within the prayer and respect time.

 

For our family, we will continue to pray for this (and all) precious babies and their families who are spending Christmas struggling for recovery in the NICU.

 

Precisely!!! It's really all just tacky, honestly!! Gossip and slander are still gossip and slander, regardless if the person is a celebrity or not. We don't get a "free pass" because their situation is different than if this happened to someone in our church!

[Quiver0f10]

I didn't know this, but having one kid on top of the other without waiting can lead to stillbirths, premies, and a bunch of other bad stuff, including maternal and infant death.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/forbabiessakepregnancyspacingmatters;_ylt=Ag5pDLImOM8PnSro.03CqOGs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTQ5MDF2OWx1BGFzc2V0A2hzbi8yMDA5MTIxNy9mb3JiYWJpZXNzYWtlcHJlZ25hbmN5c3BhY2luZ21hdHRlcnMEY2NvZGUDbW9zdHBvcHVsYXIEY3BvcwM4BHBvcwM1BHB0A2hvbWVfY29rZQRzZWMDeW5faGVhZGxpbmVfbGlzdARzbGsDZm9yYmFiaWVzc2Fr

 

I, myself, spaced them 17 years apart. (I know -- a bit much. I ended up raising two only children.)

 

What sayeth the Hive?

 

I say it's no ones business except the Duggars and God.

[BigMamaBird]

But the Duggars aren't anyone's 'best friend', they are celebrities. If you are going to put yourself out there, put your kids on TV and basically 'sell' your attention getting lifestyle, you are up for discussion and criticism.

 

 

O.k., why don't we put it this way. How many countless women on this Board have had to experience this pain in their lives. And then to come on here and see someone posting like this. You might as well title it "What did *insert Board members name here* do to cause her miscarriage." Regardless of whether they endured this a month ago or years ago, that pain doesn't go away and to hear someone spewing about what a woman did to cause her pain is insensitive.

[Remudamom]

I say it's no ones business except the Duggars and God.

 

No kidding, and from the apparent blessings of this family.................

[Michelle in MO]

I say it's no ones business except the Duggars and God.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I usually don't make it my business to pass judgment on the number of children other families have, whether it be one or a dozen. I don't know very much about the Duggar's, but I'd rather not speculate about the cause of this premature birth. I have a very good friend who had her daughters spaced three years apart, and despite all precautions, both of them were preemies. Both are doing fine now. :)

 

I think it's best to just pray for the family and the newborn.

[i.love.lucy]

I'm reading it was initially thought to be a gall stone, but it was actually preeclampsia. This is not a condition that is caused by having too many children too close together. Unfortunately for her though, the likelyhood of her getting it again with a subsequent pregnancy is far greater now.

 

I will be praying for their family and this precious new baby. My son was born at 29 weeks weighing 2.3 lbs, due to the same condition, so I know how scary it can be.

[Renthead Mommy]

O.k., why don't we put it this way. How many countless women on this Board have had to experience this pain in their lives. And then to come on here and see someone posting like this. You might as well title it "What did *insert Board members name here* do to cause her miscarriage." Regardless of whether they endured this a month ago or years ago, that pain doesn't go away and to hear someone spewing about what a woman did to cause her pain is insensitive.

 

But again, the people on this board are strangers. Yes, some people have developed real relationships with others, but most people are strangers. These aren't your best friends, your sisters or whatever. We are a bunch of people that happen to supposedly have homeschooling in common. Posting on here is no different than letting a camera into your life. You are laying it out there for who knows how many stangers to look, comment and judge.

 

And to use your example, okay that is a painful thing to some people, and others have no clue. But that is true of EVERYTHING! Just because you think something is a no big deal event, it could be a very big deal to someone else on here. With that logic, we couldn't talk about anything!

[Tenaj]

I say it's no ones business except the Duggars and God.

 

:iagree:

[mommaduck]

I say it's no ones business except the Duggars and God.

:iagree:

[Quad Shot Academy]

O.k., why don't we put it this way. How many countless women on this Board have had to experience this pain in their lives. And then to come on here and see someone posting like this. You might as well title it "What did *insert Board members name here* do to cause her miscarriage."

:iagree:

 

I think it is amazing that she has not had serious complications before now. I think it is pure foolishness to try and place blame on such a thing.

[gandpsmommy]

But the Duggars aren't anyone's 'best friend', they are celebrities. If you are going to put yourself out there, put your kids on TV and basically 'sell' your attention getting lifestyle, you are up for discussion and criticism.

 

Just becuase they come across as some syrupy sweet, overly wholesome, christian family, that doesn't make them any different from Jon and Kate, Tiger Woods, Senators and their wives, movie stars, American Idol winners, bloggers, or even bloggers/writters that were former members here or anyone else. If you put yourself out for the public eye, you are up for debate. And up for people to publicly say they disagree with you, think you did the wrong thing, talk about how much money you made/have/spent, whatever.

 

It doesn't make it insensitive, it makes it talking about 'current affairs' and 'news' topics of the day.

 

As with all of the other "celebrity" examples you cited, this is absolutely none of my business. If one were truly concerned about spacing her own pregnancies so as to avoid potential problems for the baby or herself, I would be more than happy to discuss the issue (if I had anything intelligent to contribute, that is), but I have no interest in gossip and dissecting other people's lives and decisions. I find it to be quite impolite and fruitless.

 

And just to clarify my position, I am not a follower or admirer of their tv show or lifestyle, although the few small excerpts I have seen from their show have been heart-warming, for the most part. I do admire their dedication to following their beliefs, even if some of their beliefs are quite different from my own. But mostly it's just that I like to follow the philosophy of "Live, and let live."

Edited December 17, 2009 by gandpsmommy

[hornblower]

If they didn't want it to be anyone's business but their own they ought to have stayed off tv with a show about their life. Having made their life public, they can't turn around and decide things are private now.

 

I feel sorry for every mother and baby who are spending time in NICU instead of at home. It's frightening and awful. One of my own was full term but spent about 36h at nicu and that was long enough for me....

 

It is natural to wonder and consider if things are preventable. If nothing else, that kind of thinking can help prevent this heartache for someone else.

 

This infant is alive now due to medical technology - which I think is the most wonderful, awesome thing & I'm so glad to hear from other families who have been down this road and seen their children grow and blossom. I admit I'm confused why this family would not use some medical technology to space their babies out a bit.

[mommaduck]

I admit I'm confused why this family would not use some medical technology to space their babies out a bit.

Start with their beliefs.

 

Most likely, if you were to break it down (aside from the Gothard stuff, with which I'm very familiar, but do not hold to):

 

IUD: creates hostile environment to an already conceived child and initiates abortion early.

 

Hormonal Birth Control (in whatever form): does not always prevent ovulation but also causes abortion of a fertilised egg.

 

Barrier Methods: may be seen as the sin of Onan and not being open to potential life.

 

Sterilisation: breaking what is already working the way it was intended to and not being open to potential life.

 

FAM: Grates against the natural inclination of a husband and wife coming together whenever they feel the need (and we were created to be more likely in the mood when we are fertile).

 

All this rubs against the way we were created and, to them, it is offensive and against their beliefs, to try to "counter God".

 

(disclaimer: nutshell version)

[mommaduck]

The woman had 18 uneventful pregnancies. She had no reason to think this one would be different. Really, if it was going to be an issue, it would have been an issue earlier in her life.

 

People have preemies all of the time and Michelle has a better track record than most I would guess.

 

If you are going to attribute the preemie birth to have one baby after another, how do you explain the previous 18 being fine? It's illogical.

Very true. When all goes well, when a person has a wonderful support system, and you are not faced with more difficult decisions, it is easy to keep on with the way things are. Granted Gothard teaches one thing, but even the people within his group will vary on certain personal things with or without saying so. We do not know what Jim and Michelle may have chosen to do had they had several high risk pregnancies earlier on. We also do not know that all her pregnancies weren't high risk. From my understanding, the doctor did consider some of them high risk (high risk being subjective depending upon the issues at hand and a person's priorities), thus she has had at least a couple of c-sections, if I'm correct (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).

 

 

It boils down to it being THEIR business. Yes, there will be speculation as they have put themselves out there in the public eye. But it is still THEIR business. We must be careful of the kinds of speculation we do.

 

Example: Every car salesman pats my husband on the back, winks at him, and says "man, I wish I was in your shoes!" (meaning that because we have a lot of children, my husband must get lots of TEA...how wrong they are...sometimes it's because of the pregnancy and nursing that we get LESS TEA) See how offensive and personal that kind of speculation is?

Edited December 17, 2009 by mommaduck

[Audrey]

I didn't know this, but having one kid on top of the other without waiting can lead to stillbirths, premies, and a bunch of other bad stuff, including maternal and infant death.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/forbabiessakepregnancyspacingmatters;_ylt=Ag5pDLImOM8PnSro.03CqOGs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTQ5MDF2OWx1BGFzc2V0A2hzbi8yMDA5MTIxNy9mb3JiYWJpZXNzYWtlcHJlZ25hbmN5c3BhY2luZ21hdHRlcnMEY2NvZGUDbW9zdHBvcHVsYXIEY3BvcwM4BHBvcwM1BHB0A2hvbWVfY29rZQRzZWMDeW5faGVhZGxpbmVfbGlzdARzbGsDZm9yYmFiaWVzc2Fr

 

I, myself, spaced them 17 years apart. (I know -- a bit much. I ended up raising two only children.)

 

What sayeth the Hive?

 

 

I say, "birth control, please use it." But, then ... I can't stand the Duggars.

Edited December 17, 2009 by Audrey

[Daisy]

I say it's no ones business except the Duggars and God.

 

Couldn't agree more and I'm not quiverful.

 

I think it is tacky to mess around in people's private business even if they don't seem to realize it should be private.

 

But then again, I don't watch reality tv. It goes against my above statement of principle.

Edited December 17, 2009 by Daisy

[Amy loves Bud]

But the Duggars aren't anyone's 'best friend', they are celebrities. If you are going to put yourself out there, put your kids on TV and basically 'sell' your attention getting lifestyle, you are up for discussion and criticism.

 

Just becuase they come across as some syrupy sweet, overly wholesome, christian family, that doesn't make them any different from Jon and Kate, Tiger Woods, Senators and their wives, movie stars, American Idol winners, bloggers, or even bloggers/writters that were former members here or anyone else. If you put yourself out for the public eye, you are up for debate. And up for people to publicly say they disagree with you, think you did the wrong thing, talk about how much money you made/have/spent, whatever.

 

It doesn't make it insensitive, it makes it talking about 'current affairs' and 'news' topics of the day.

 

 

I have to agree. Isn't their show called "16 Kids and Counting" or something like that? They have put themselves in the public eye based on the fact that they have a lot of kids. I would find it odd, and I bet they would as well, if no one talked about the impact of so many pregnancies when something goes wrong.

 

Now Tiger Woods, he put himself in the public eye based on his golf skill. Maybe it's worse to discuss his personal life, since he didn't choose to spread it across the tabloids; the tabloids (and his bevy of girlfriends) chose to do that for him. And his children will suffer terribly for it.

[Donna A.]

For those who want to blame the early delivery and difficulties of Michelle's pregnancy -- after having had 18 full term, HEALTHY ones -- shall we talk about those who only had TWO children and had the exact same problems? The only difference between some of them and Michelle is that Michelle's came up rather suddenly.... and she's in the public eye. I've known lots of women over the years who only prevented such an early delivery by being on bedrest and having to take tons of medication for weeks, no months, on end until they could safely deliver the baby.

 

Fact is, we have absolutely NO WAY of knowing whether this premature birth was caused by Michelle's having had so many babies so close together. It happens to many women, and number of pregnancies may or may not be a contributing factor. It may be true that the pregnancy *contributed to* the gallstones in this case... but OTOH, women who aren't pregnant get gallstones, too. So we don't know that Michelle wouldn't have had gallstones at this time even if she weren't pregnant.

 

Michelle was pregnant. She got gallstones. She had preeclampsia. All of those things can, and do happen to women who only have one or two or three children, as well. Gallstones can also happen to women who aren't pregnant at all. Gallstones can even happen to men.

 

Anything more than that is pure speculation.

[Peek a Boo]

of course it's preventable.

don't have kids, period.

the earth is overcrowded as it is.

who would bother having even one child-- there are so many available for adoption!

 

speaking of preventable and using medical technology---

What about known genetic issues?- since we're merely discussing current issues and such.......who in the world would be so insensitive as to breed knowing their offspring would most likely be affected by a genetic disorder? talk about illogical!

 

yes. tacky is as tacky does. if we want to talk about preventable tragedies, by all means, let's really explore the issue.

 

strangers or no, it was my understanding that the board rules do not specify that it's ok to tear down someone else's beliefs if you haven't become best buds online yet. Considering we have thousands of people here, it seems obvious that SOMEONE here can offer insight to any number of problems or challenges-- thus the Hive status in the first place.

 

If I was intent on being mean to people *here*I can find any person "in the public eye" and choose to critique their issue and choices freely w/o fear of bannable repercussions *here.* Still doesn't make it right.

[LizzyBee]

Michelle was pregnant. She got gallstones. She had preeclampsia. All of those things can, and do happen to women who only have one or two or three children, as well.

 

:iagree: I had pre-eclampsia and an early induced delivery with my first child. I knew that pre-eclampsia and prematurity were potential risks of pregnancy, so it's my fault that it happened? I knew that because it happened once, I was at higher risk with future pregnancies, so it was my fault when it happened again with my 3rd child and resulted in an emergency C-section? To blame such things on the parents whether they have 1 child or 20 children is ridiculous, imo.

Edited December 17, 2009 by LizzyBee

[LisaNY]

For those who want to blame the early delivery and difficulties of Michelle's pregnancy -- after having had 18 full term, HEALTHY ones -- shall we talk about those who only had TWO children and had the exact same problems? The only difference between some of them and Michelle is that Michelle's came up rather suddenly.... and she's in the public eye. I've known lots of women over the years who only prevented such an early delivery by being on bedrest and having to take tons of medication for weeks, no months, on end until they could safely deliver the baby.

 

Fact is, we have absolutely NO WAY of knowing whether this premature birth was caused by Michelle's having had so many babies so close together. It happens to many women, and number of pregnancies may or may not be a contributing factor. It may be true that the pregnancy *contributed to* the gallstones in this case... but OTOH, women who aren't pregnant get gallstones, too. So we don't know that Michelle wouldn't have had gallstones at this time even if she weren't pregnant.

 

Michelle was pregnant. She got gallstones. She had preeclampsia. All of those things can, and do happen to women who only have one or two or three children, as well. Gallstones can also happen to women who aren't pregnant at all. Gallstones can even happen to men.

 

Anything more than that is pure speculation.

 

Exactly! I am going to assume this is the first time that something like this has happened to Michelle Duggar. I appears that she has had fairly normal pregnancies up until now - quite a feat, I might add.

 

I am going to hazard a guess that the main reason people are all "concerned" (and I use this term very loosely) about this situation is because they think the Duggars are strange and should be stopped from doing their strange things. Please.

[OnTheBrink]

I am going to hazard a guess that the main reason people are all "concerned" (and I use this term very loosely) about this situation is because they think the Duggars are strange and should be stopped from doing their strange things. Please.

 

:iagree:

[LisaNY]

I say, "birth control, please use it." But, then ... I can't stand the Duggars.

 

Why? What have they ever done to you? They are living their lives as they see fit, and have the right to, just as you do.

 

I'd say that smacks of intolerance.

[Audrey]

Why? What have they ever done to you? They are living their lives as they see fit, and have the right to, just as you do.

 

I'd say that smacks of intolerance.

 

 

Whatever, darlin'. I don't have to like everyone. Yeah, I think they're weird. I also think they are terrible parents for trotting all their kids out on tv like that and for essentially making the older ones raise the younger ones, and well... too many other things to list. So what?

[mommaduck]

Whatever, darlin'. I don't have to like everyone. Yeah, I think they're weird. I also think they are terrible parents for trotting all their kids out on tv like that and for essentially making the older ones raise the younger ones, and well... too many other things to list. So what?

They aren't making their older ones "raise" the youngers. The olders help take care of them. Large families work this way. Every person in the family has arms and legs. Some are are capable of greater responsibility than others. Moms are still Moms and Dads are still Dads. But it is not wrong to teach a child old enough to cook and let them cook, or assign another child laundry and let a younger child help by putting laundry from a basket into a dryer. Even my oldest children helped like this (picking up toys off of a floor, pushing laundry I'd hand them into a dryer) when they were young. They loved it. They are "helping" and at the same time learning things. People just ASSUME that the Duggar children are RAISING the youngers simply because they help out more than most children in this small family world do and are "buddied" up with a younger sibling. A buddy system doesn't mean that Mom and Dad are suddenly "hands off".

[stripe]

I was under the impression that outcomes are better when babies are spaced > 1 year and < 10 years apart. Other than that, I believe a couple should consider the health of the mother, and I don't consider myself sufficiently interested in the Duggars to comment further.

[LisaNY]

Whatever, darlin'. I don't have to like everyone. Yeah, I think they're weird. I also think they are terrible parents for trotting all their kids out on tv like that and for essentially making the older ones raise the younger ones, and well... too many other things to list. So what?

 

They all seem pretty happy to me, but that is besides the point. They have a different lifestyle than you, so what?

 

Did you feel the same way about Jon & Kate?

[mommaduck]

They all seem pretty happy to me, but that is besides the point. They have a different lifestyle than you, so what?

 

Did you feel the same way about Jon & Kate?

OY! J&K are a whole different ball game! We went to a restaurant recently where J&K have apparently gone on occasion with their family. The server made a J&K comment to us because of the size of our family. I let him know that I considered the comparison an insult. We are our own family and in no way resemble THAT couple.

[tricia]

 

I say it's no ones business except the Duggars and God.

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

[tdeveson]

If your best friend had had a preemie or heaven forbid, a stillbirth or miscarriage, would you be sniffing around trying to pin the blame on their lifestyle :glare:

 

Geeze Louise. Insensitive much?

 

Michelle Duggar is not my friend. She puts herself and her children out there for money. She does labor and delivery on national TV. I'm just doing what she wants -- talking about her.

 

Beyond that, I think my question was posed very respectfully.

 

Oversensitive much?

Edited December 17, 2009 by tdeveson

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm reading it was initially thought to be a gall stone, but it was actually preeclampsia. This is not a condition that is caused by having too many children too close together. Unfortunately for her though, the likelyhood of her getting it again with a subsequent pregnancy is far greater now.

 

Right. This is something that tends to occur in very young moms and in older moms. It has nothing to do with her closely spaced children, it has to do with her age.

 

The one risk that does increase the more kids she has is placenta previa . This is because when the placenta attaches in the womb it leaves a scar and another placenta cannot attach there. Eventually, you start running out of room for a safely attached placenta.

 

I don't see how discussing risk factors in pregnancy is in any way attempting to place blame. Very young moms have risk factors, older moms have risk factors, moms with lots of kids have risk factors. These are facts, facts I would hope anyone would take into consideration.

[Prudent]

Gossip and slander are often in the eye of the beholder.

 

If a faith preacher had died of something fixable, like appendicitis, because he claimed the Lord instructed him to refuse medical treatment and believe for healing, people would be having a field day posting, "Gosh......His death was so preventable. Why did he do that?"

 

Nobody here is wishing ill on the family and we all certainly hope this baby pulls through.

 

But this family has signed themselves up for a reality TV show about their life. That is the most self-imposed and extreme form of celebrity to me because it's not a by-product of a job or position, like Tiger Woods becoming famous because his career is being a professional golfer or a politician being in the spotlight because of their job.

[Donna A.]

Gossip and slander are often in the eye of the beholder.

 

If a faith preacher had died of something fixable, like appendicitis, because he claimed the Lord instructed him to refuse medical treatment and believe for healing, people would be having a field day posting, "Gosh......His death was so preventable. Why did he do that?"

 

Nobody here is wishing ill on the family and we all certainly hope this baby pulls through.

 

But this family has signed themselves up for a reality TV show about their life. That is the most self-imposed and extreme form of celebrity to me because it's not a by-product of a job or position, like Tiger Woods becoming famous because his career is being a professional golfer or a politician being in the spotlight because of their job.

 

So it's okay to gossip and slander one but not the other?

[Amy loves Bud]

For those who want to blame the early delivery and difficulties of Michelle's pregnancy --.

 

 

Not sure if this is directed at me or not, but since it's posted under my post, let me just clarify. I never blamed Michelle Duggar or anyone else for the fact that her baby was born prematurely. I simply stated that since she signed herself up for a reality show about her life as a mother of 18 children, then it is reasonable to expect that people will be discussing that. Both the positive and the negative aspects of it.

[Mrs Mungo]

So it's okay to gossip and slander one but not the other?

 

Where has anyone been slandered? That's a pretty strong word with a legal definition. I don't see anyone making false, malicious statements about anyone else in this thread.

[amyable]

I would hope that people would have the decency to let the emergency pass before judging them. Life threatening, in-the-NICU, sick babies and moms are a completely seperate category from the people you listed and the scandals they were made famous for. Sure, there will be a time for discussion based on the Duggar's "celebrity", but there is also a time for respect and prayer. IMHO we are still well within the prayer and respect time.

 

:iagree:

 

To me, comparing a woman bringing new life into the world (whether it is her 1st, 4th, or 20th) to a man who cheated, repeatedly, on his wife is comparing apples and oranges! But I'm not typically one to debate morality on a messageboard.:leaving: