Do you like youth groups?

[KristineIN]

I was in an interesting conversation this morning and my children are not old enough, but I am not against youth groups (meaning something for older teens), but the two friends that I talked with this morning, whom I've known a LONG time, one who is at our church, thinks the older youth need to just be in the adult Bible Study. (there is currently nothing for the older youth, they are mainly not coming, she has two older teens they have started staying home) The other friend, who is not at our church, her children are involved in a youth group, but she does not like it and wants their church to get away from the youth group, thinking families need to be together at church all of the time, they currently do have a children's ministry and she does not like it either. I'm not wanting this turn into a controversial topic, I'm just "gathering" information about differing views on the subject. It will help me to see where I think we need to be in the future as far as my children are concerned and be able to share things with my husband.

 

Do you like youth groups, why or why not?

Thanks,

Kristine

[CookieMonster]

I loved my youth group. Really. I was rooted and grounded in the Word. It was not a play around type of group. We had Bible teaching and preaching - with fun activities occasionally on the side. I formed close, godly friendships there with leaders and fellow teenagers. Many of the people I went to youth group with still walk with the Lord.

 

However, I have heard too many stories about youth groups being a bunch of junk to just assume one is ok. I know I would check out a youth group before my children attended, and continue to keep an eye on the leadership while they are in there.

[Daisy]

I really like this article. You might find it worth reading...

 

http://www.familyministries.com/HC_Youthmin.htm

 

 

I personally have no problem with ministry-based, discipleship-based youth programs. I would prefer a church not create entertainment-based, "hang-out" kinds of youth group programs.

[OnTheBrink]

Our youth group is basically Bible teaching and practical application of that teaching, with fun activities on the side. Our church is pretty family-focused, so the youth group isn't necessarily meant as a place for the teens to go to get away from the evil parents. Youth group sponsors range in age from just out of college to older adults.

 

I've seen churches set up youth groups so that the young people never mingle with anyone outside their age bracket and I think that's sad. Youth can learn a lot from older believers and the body shouldn't be so segregated, imho.

[Marie in Oh]

are holding places for kids from junior high until they graduate. They are entertainment driven. Many do not disciple. I know there are some out there that practice serious discipleship and there is growth and fruit, but main stream youth ministry is alot about the next fun thing that will keep these kids out of trouble. Is that bad? Well, it wasn't for me becasue I came from an unchurched home and my youth group kept me out of trouble with wholesome activities. But, for my own kids I want more than paintball on Saturdays and restaurant runs on Sunday after church.

 

We are trying to instill in our kids that their teen years are some of the most useful years they will have- years where they do not have the responsibilities of breadwinning and parenting. Years where service should be their focus. Does that mean no fun. No. Fun is great. But the focus of their teens should be on service to the One the call Saviour.

 

Our oldest has one more year till he is old enough to go to youth group. He asked the other day, unprevoked, if he could go to Sunday School with us when he is in 6th grade. That is fine with us.

 

Like I said, fun activites are fine to some degree. There is a church here in or area that has one youth activity a month. Otherwise they have Bible Study and service projects. That seems balanced to me. Of course, we'll see what time brings us.

[Mrs. H.]

My youth group experience was one where you went on Wednesday night, because your parents thought it was good for you, but then you left to go driving around town, meet guys, etc. and get back before the group had concluded. The group itself wan't very Biblically-based, and was more focused on how to raise money for the next ski trip, camp, or bowling night than it was focused on discipleship.

 

I have told dd (10) that she will not be attending our church's youth group when her classmates "move up" (because they lump 12-13 all the way up to 18 year-olds, and I think that's too young to be spending a lot of time with older young men, because our youth group is mostly social). Instead, we will either find a Sunday School class that will accept both her and me and dh, or we will stop attending Sunday School entirely and just attend the main services.

[readwithem]

I like this series of articles -

 

http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2006/5/18_Youth_Ministry:__Part_3.html

[Rhondabee]

because it was the youth group and the camp that truly brought my child to finding his own relationship with God.

 

We do have a married, with family, full-time youth minister - not a part-time college student. Based on some part-time youth ministers I knew in college, that may be a huge factor in determining the whole tone of the youth ministry. (Just guessing based on my own experience!)

[CookieMonster]

We are trying to instill in our kids that their teen years are some of the most useful years they will have- years where they do not have the responsibilities of breadwinning and parenting. Years where service should be their focus. Does that mean no fun. No. Fun is great. But the focus of their teens should be on service to the One the call Saviour.

 

Amen, Sista! :iagree:

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I'm against entertaining youth and babysitting youth. I don't like youth groups that are basically just a social club.

 

Those things are important, and I think there's a time and a place for that, but, I don't believe that's what youth group should be about.

 

My dh and I were youth pastors for about 10 years before coming on the mission field. Our focus of our group was teaching, worship, and training them to reach out to their friends. We worked with a youth council, a group of teens in our youth group committed to discipleship. We encouraged them to find out God's will for them and we came alongside them and helped them find outlets for their gifts, talent, abilities, and callings. We shepherded them.

 

They loved the challenge and accountability. They loved the teaching and the worship. But, most important, we met on a separate night from the other services so they could be involved in the adult services as well. I think that's important. It's good for the different generations to worship together, they can learn so much from each other.

[Chris in VA]

Our youth group has a 1/3 formula, for lack of a better term--about 1/3 fun, 1/3 service, and 1/3 serious. They go on a mission trip for a week in the summer, so they do some fund raising, often combining it with service (they will provide a night out for parents as a fund raiser, for example, but they will also just help when needed). We split ours into 5-6 grade, which meets 2ce a month, Jr Hi and Sr Hi, which both meet 4 times a month. The first of every month (Sunday night) is dinner at the church--parents provide it, signing up to help.

The groups are run by volunteers, but we have clergy oversight, with our associate minister being in charge of youth ministry (not Sunday School--that's separate).

I like the set up. I do wish they had more small groups. One thing I like is that kids who are unchurched, or whom have walked away from faith, like my son, can find a place where they are loved and accepted. If they go, they will hear the gospel and see it lived out, but they won't be turned away if they don't believe.

Our worship services include the youth the whole time, except for kids 2nd grade and under, who go to a Children's Church during the time in the service when we have the Bible readings, prayers and sermon. Everyone is together for Eucharist, which happens every Sunday and takes place in the second "half" of the service. We have both kids and adult Sunday School between the 2nd and 3rd service. Occasionally we have education or service events for everyone.

I like being at a church where teens are mentored and yet allowed to be together. We have tons of dinners and events where families can stay together, but our teaching times are age appropriate.

[Harriet Vane]

I had a wonderful, wonderful small youth group with leaders who were very, very focused on teaching and discipling us in our understanding of Christ. Our weekly Bible study was deep, inductive, and challenging. These leaders took great pains to connect with each kid in their care, try to learn where that kid was spiritually, and guide them personally from there. We also had social times that were purely social (thank God EVERYTHING didn't have to be spiritual all the time!) but the focus was, very definitely, on God.

 

I have seen youth groups, however, that seem more centered around social events, or that teach only very shallow biblical lessons, and I have to say the dynamics in those kinds of groups leaves me just cold.

 

If I had a group like the one I enjoyed as a teen, I would have no hesitations about my dd's involvement. If I cannot find such a group, I prefer her not to be in that other, shallow teen scene.

 

I do really like the idea of teens and young adults being integrated in adult Bible studies. They certainly are capable of it intellectually, and I think the social interrelating could be healthier.

 

Each group has to be evaluated on its own merits, most particularly on the following:

 

--What is the focus? What depth of Bible study and personal discipleship is expected? The answer to this makes or breaks a group IMHO.

 

--To what extent are the teens mingling with the rest of the congregation? Are they totally exclusive and segregated or are they mingling at times with older or younger people?

 

--To what extent are they reaching out to the less fortunate? To what extent are they expected to contribute to the church? I do not like the idea of just feeding-feeding-feeding teens and not requiring them to give back to the system that nurtures them--it sets them up for a life of passivity in their churches.

 

--What procedures are in place to protect staff and teens from inappropriate situations? How safe is the group? Some examples would be staff-kid ratio, staff never being totally alone with a kid (always having a buddy volunteer along or interacting with a group of kids or meeting publicly). One youth pastor I know has a policy of only giving side-hugs (one arm around the shoulder), never front hugs--I think it's great that he is so careful.

 

Just some thoughts--HTH.

[Nestof3]

I personally do not like youth groups. This is not an issue for us since we housechurch and everyone from newborn to elderly are in the same room during the meeting. We also stay for the midday meal, so there are LOTS of children for the children to play with. Our son prefers the conversation of adults or will spend some time talking to another boy there his age.

 

I am not announcing an edict for every family -- you just do what's best for your family. I don't want this to turn into a "because I do it one way, so must you" sort of discussion.

 

I've just never seen a beneficial purpose that they serve.

 

The spiritual needs of my son are met by his own relationship with God, through his relationship with us, through his relationship with the body of believers, and through his relationship with young men he deems spiritually minded.

 

His social needs are met by relationships with people he chooses who benefit him and to whom he is a benefit. He "fellowships" with those who share the faith and with those that uplift him. His recreational needs are met through casual acquaintances through things like paintball, but they involve something he is interested in. We teach our sons that casual acquaintances -- such as those one would mingle with during baseball, paintball, art lesson and so on -- are just that -- acquaintances, but for a believer, a close friend should be one with whom true fellowship takes place. And true fellowship cannot come from those outside the faith. We do not teach them to look down upon others, but to consider what influence a close companion can have. This is why Christians are warned not to be yoked to unbelievers. And, just because a youth's parents are believers, does not mean the youth is.

 

In a way, his relationships are like that of an adult. I have my family, the body of believers, friends who encourage me in my vision -- my life's purpose -- and friends with whome I make cards (my hobby). I am not a part of some group of random adults who do random things together.

 

This randomness does not seem to me to resemble normal life. It seems to be something created to help serve a purpose; however, natural relationships seem to do a far superior job of it, in my opinion.

 

I have also found a tone in the youth leader's voice that indicates to me that he is concerned about the spiritual focus of many of the youth, that he feels he must labor together with the youths' parents or go beyond what the parents are imparting because quite frankly, in many of their lives, the parents are not spirtually focused themselves.

 

I have also seen far too much peer dependency, too much of what I would consider "fitting in" behavior like what I saw in the public school, and too little maturity. I also see too much of the "teen culture" which we have discarded as a modern notion. We do not embrace the modern notions of "teenager," but I have to say that most of those we encountered in the organized church did play along with it.

 

Since we also do not raise our sons to date, but rather wait until they are ready to seek a wife, youth groups tend to get in the way of this. So much of what I refer to (with tongue in cheek) the "meat market" mentality takes place in these sorts of things.

 

Again, it's not exactly like we are depriving our sons of a youth group because since leaving the organized church, there has been no youth group from which to deprive them.

 

We are trying to instill in our kids that their teen years are some of the most useful years they will have- years where they do not have the responsibilities of breadwinning and parenting. Years where service should be their focus. Does that mean no fun. No. Fun is great. But the focus of their teens should be on service to the One the call Saviour.

 

 

I agree with this, but in our family, since my husband is self-employed, we decided his teen years would be served best by working alongside of my husband, learning work ethic, and putting away money for college or a down payment on a house. We do serve others, but usually as a family or sometimes in our fellowship, the moms and daughters will serve in one area and the dads and sons in another.

[WTMindy]

what many have already said. If it positively contributes to their relationship with the Lord, then Yes! I will most likely work with the youth group when my kids get to that age because

 

a. I want to know first hand what my kids are doing/hearing.

b. I love teenagers

c. I'm just kinda that way. I like to be involved in the things my kids are doing.

[sassenach]

I haven't read any other responses yet, but I'll jump in.

 

My husband is a youth pastor, so yes, I like youth groups. That said, I have heard other's opinions on this matter and can at least see why they have the views that they do. A well run youth group, with a lot of parent involvement can be a beautiful thing. A badly run youth group is a potential disaster. Frankly, I'm not in youth ministry for the families that have it all together and are raising their kids well. I'm in it for the lost kids. The ones with parents that are often less mature than they are. That's not to say it's just a group of misfits. We do have students that come from great families, but struggle to make their faith their own. I think it absolutely helps to have another adult come up along side them and mentor them. I understand that some parents don't want that or don't think that their kids need anyone but themselves. I'm ok with that. I think God convicts us to decisions for our individual children and if God is in the lead, then I have no doubt that the child will be ok with or without a youth group. Youth groups are not for every student or family. On the flip side, I really don't understand the position that youth groups shouldn't exist at all. I have seen SO MANY lives changed that wouldn't have been otherwise. Youth groups have a purpose, a very holy purpose. We are Kingdom builders and whether or not you (in the global sense)personally choose to let your kids get involved, incredible things are happening through this vehicle.

[Crissy]

I struggled for a couple of years with the idea that my son's youth group was not quite enough; it was a gathering place for teens to play games, sing and create music and have a good time at church on Wednesday night.

Certainly not a bad way to spend an evening, but I wanted for him more Bible study and less foosball; more service, less gossip.

It wasn't to be, and we ended up staying home more often.

 

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy it, but I felt like I was continually lowering the expectations I had for our youth leaders. I hated having to tell myself that his youth group was 'good enough' when I knew it wasn't what we had been looking for in the first place.

[RebeccaC]

Our sons belong to two youth groups however both groups do not meet during regular worship hours. One is Tuesday night and the other is Sunday night. The teens in our church are in the adult worship and sermons. Tuesday night is a lesson and then games and fellowship. The Sunday night youth groups is worship and a short lesson, then the gym/game time followed by snacks and fellowship.

 

Last Tuesday night was movie night Dh and I loaned our copy of Amazing Grace to the youth group. I helped the leaders come up with a study guide for the movie since they were not familiar with the history behind the movie. Dh and I also provided the popcorn for the movie. We are very involved with the youth group at our church the other youth group is very well run and includes a good mix of kids.

[6packofun]

Each youth group should be tailored in part to the community of children and families that it serves. Our church is in a very UNchurched, broken-home, urban type of area. The kids DO need a safe place to hang out where they aren't being verbally, physically and even sexually harrassed--like at school and sometimes at home--while being loved and led to a relationship with Christ. (Not that middle-class neighborhoods don't have some of the same issues, of course.)

 

It's the *atmosphere* of come-as-you-are and fun and love that brings the kids and makes them want to bring THEIR friends...it gives us the opportunity to build relationships and get them to even begin to think about faith as a part of their lives. Honestly, if we didn't do anything social, most of these kids would not come--we have several that come to our weeknight youth time (where we always have a Biblical/spiritual discussion or teaching, but also lots of games) and have not yet come to church on Sunday morning. And yet we have a high standard for behavior and don't accept excuses from any kid, regardless of background and family life, for any speech or actions that would make it an unfriendly place for believing families and kids. It can be tough!

 

It's just difficult to find a balance between serving the youth who are already believers and those who have never or rarely ever been to church at all. The needs are obviously different and it can become like that other question that sometimes plagues Christian homeschooling parents: do we keep our children out when it could be an opportunity for them to serve and be a light to the other kids? Every parent must decide.

 

For us, as youth leaders, having our kids there with us in a very mixed crowd of kids is OK because 1) WE are the leaders and so we know what's going on at all times and our standards for behavior are high (just this week we sent a girl home to change after she showed up in 40-degree weather with the shortest shorts I've ever seen LOL), and 2) we trust the general vision and goals for youth ministry at our church. If either of those were different, it's very possible our children would not be attending the youth functions.

[LadyR]

Our church has a PHENOMENAL youth group (12-18 years old). They meet downstairs in our church during our mid-week Bible study (adults upstairs). Emphasis is on worship, praise, the Word and ministry to each other. If you walk into their room you will often see young people kneeling in worship at the altar, lifting hands in praise, or praying with each other. They have their own worship band and incredible leaders and teachers. My dd understands that her relationship with God needs to be cultivated on a daily basis, not just once or twice a week at church. This youth group has changed my dd's life. She now intends to go to Bible college.

 

The youth are upstairs with the adults on Sunday mornings. They like to all sit in the first three rows - right in front.

 

They schedule fun events on occasion on Fri nights or Saturdays, more when the weather is nicer.

[LadyR]

 

It's just difficult to find a balance between serving the youth who are already believers and those who have never or rarely ever been to church at all.

This is so true. Over the summertime my dd's youth group picked up about 10 or so kids from the inner city and brought them to the youth service. It was very challenging. Dd reported that it was hard to focus and pay attention during the service because some of the kids were disruptive and disrespectful. The regulars had to show a lot of grace. My dd talks about a night when one particular girl goofed off, talked and laughed through the whole service. She was the worst one. But it was this girl that was sobbing at the altar by the end of the service!

[5kidsforME]

We do have a married, with family, full-time youth minister - not a part-time college student. Based on some part-time youth ministers I knew in college, that may be a huge factor in determining the whole tone of the youth ministry. (Just guessing based on my own experience!)

 

I am in no way saying anything against your youth minister here. But this doesn't necessarily mean anything. We just found out that a close family memeber of mine who is married to a youth minister was having an affair with one of his youth group girls, started when she was 16 and ended when she was 18. This man has 4 kids and a wife. He is almost 40. So being married doesn't necessarily mean anything.

 

So my opinion on youth groups are pbrobably a littled skewed right now.

[5kidsforME]

I haven't read any other responses yet, but I'll jump in.

 

My husband is a youth pastor, so yes, I like youth groups. That said, I have heard other's opinions on this matter and can at least see why they have the views that they do. A well run youth group, with a lot of parent involvement can be a beautiful thing. A badly run youth group is a potential disaster. Frankly, I'm not in youth ministry for the families that have it all together and are raising their kids well. I'm in it for the lost kids. The ones with parents that are often less mature than they are. That's not to say it's just a group of misfits. We do have students that come from great families, but struggle to make their faith their own. I think it absolutely helps to have another adult come up along side them and mentor them. I understand that some parents don't want that or don't think that their kids need anyone but themselves. I'm ok with that. I think God convicts us to decisions for our individual children and if God is in the lead, then I have no doubt that the child will be ok with or without a youth group. Youth groups are not for every student or family. On the flip side, I really don't understand the position that youth groups shouldn't exist at all. I have seen SO MANY lives changed that wouldn't have been otherwise. Youth groups have a purpose, a very holy purpose. We are Kingdom builders and whether or not you (in the global sense)personally choose to let your kids get involved, incredible things are happening through this vehicle.

 

Also am going to say this again. My previous response about youth pastors shoould have said that 1 bad youth pastor does not make them all bad. So please do not feel that I am bashing on youth pastors.

[Tutor]

If it is discipleship based, I do not have a problem with it. I also want the youth group to be led by an older couple or older individuals in the church. I am not a fan of recent college-grads or college students leading youth group. I don't feel that the maturity is there.

 

That said, our church as the "oldest youth pastor on earth" (as we lovingly refer to him). He just retired from a full-time, head-pastoring position. We do have college students involved in your youth group, but the leader disciples and oversees them while they disciple the youth. The group is Bible-study and discipling focused with some fun activities thrown in.

 

Our oldest dd is old enough for the youth group, but dh and I don't know what we are going to do about allowing her to attend. She is only 11, and there are kids up through age 18 in the group and college kids leading it. I think it may be too old for her. (She's already 11 going on 30; she doesn't need encouragement. :D) The group is already split by sex for Sunday Evening study, and it looks like they may divide into smaller groups by ages. Dh and I are going to meet with the pastor to discuss our options. (We actually prefer multi-generational small groups, but that is not an option right now, but will be soon. Long story.)

 

Anyway, long complicated answer to a simple question. :001_smile:

[Nestof3]

When I was 12 I was totally looking forward to the youth group at my church. Well they did away with it by the time I would have been old enough to join. I was so disgusted that I refused to go to church again. And at 33 I still have not gone since. Yes, I hold a grudge!

 

I find this peculiar. The assembling together of believers and forgivness of others (though in this situation, the church leaders did not sin) are very fundamental to Christianity.

[Remudamom]

We have looked into several youth groups and found nothing that we want our kids to be involved in. They range from just plain stupid to breaking up families. They have encouraged behavior that's at the best assinine, and at the worst immoral. They have belittled parents. I can't say enough about how I don't want mine connected in any way, shape or form.

 

Our children have always attended church with us. We didn't buy into the children's church idea, although our church has one. I do have to say that it's only for very little ones, not through jr high like so many I've seen.

 

Only one of ours ever attended youth group, and it was a bad idea.

 

In my opinion the church should focus on training parents to train their children, or work on family ministries. I know that there are some kids out there that benefit from youth groups, but in general I think youth groups are a flawed idea.

 

Edited to add- we have a good family friend that has been a youth minister/helper/ whatever in the past, and he and his wife are invaluable to us as helper/consultants/whatevers, but for us they are the exception to the rule.

[Call Me Cordelia]

I personally have no problem with ministry-based, discipleship-based youth programs. I would prefer a church not create entertainment-based, "hang-out" kinds of youth group programs.

 

 

ITA with this. We don't have a "youth group" per se at our church, but I have no problem with them, unless they are all about being cool, looking cool, having fun and pairing up. And that can happen with or without a "youth group." I find some programs to seemingly need to entice kids into thinking that "Jesus is cool" or "fun" or something like that like Who He is is not enough, if that makes sense.

 

I personally don't care for overly age segregated, family splitting up churches, but some do! A good friend of mine loves it!

[Call Me Cordelia]

I personally do not like youth groups. This is not an issue for us since we housechurch and everyone from newborn to elderly are in the same room during the meeting. We also stay for the midday meal, so there are LOTS of children for the children to play with. Our son prefers the conversation of adults or will spend some time talking to another boy there his age.

 

I think this can be great, however it SO depends on the people involved, just like a youth group. I have a friend who attended this sort of church. She loved it, but it was a disaster for her kids. They were shunned by the two/three others their age who had already formed cliques. The other adults did not see it. Her kids hated to go to church because of it.

 

The quality and focus of the people invovled matters so much more than the external logistics and structure.

[Jackie in AR]

I was in an interesting conversation this morning and my children are not old enough, but I am not against youth groups (meaning something for older teens), but the two friends that I talked with this morning, whom I've known a LONG time, one who is at our church, thinks the older youth need to just be in the adult Bible Study. (there is currently nothing for the older youth, they are mainly not coming, she has two older teens they have started staying home) The other friend, who is not at our church, her children are involved in a youth group, but she does not like it and wants their church to get away from the youth group, thinking families need to be together at church all of the time, they currently do have a children's ministry and she does not like it either. I'm not wanting this turn into a controversial topic, I'm just "gathering" information about differing views on the subject. It will help me to see where I think we need to be in the future as far as my children are concerned and be able to share things with my husband.

 

Do you like youth groups, why or why not?

Thanks,

Kristine

 

I like both the youth groups at our church because (1) they are led by a dad of teenagers whom we know pretty well, and who is similar in age to dh and me and seems to think the way that we do about most things, (2) they both contain a very small, close-knit group of kids who are passionate about living for the Lord, and (3) their meetings are at times that do not conflict with the youth attending worship on Sunday morning with their parents.

 

I've seen groups that I wouldn't consider allowing my dc to attend, and those don't necessarily fall into the church youth group category although some do. There are many variables with any group of kids, so for me it just depends on the situation.

[Alice]

Frankly, I'm not in youth ministry for the families that have it all together and are raising their kids well. I'm in it for the lost kids. The ones with parents that are often less mature than they are.

 

This was me. I will forever be indebted to the friend who invited me to her youth group, to the youth ministers who gave their time to us and to the other kids in the group. I became a Christian in youth group. My parents then came back to the church because of my involvement. It truly changed my life. And much of what we did was "just fun" or "entertainment" or "social". But it was a safe place for me to be and I'm not sure I would have survived high school without it. I also don't think I would have gone with my friend to church but I was excited to join her for youth group. And once there I was hooked.

[angela in ohio]

We have looked into several youth groups and found nothing that we want our kids to be involved in. They range from just plain stupid to breaking up families. They have encouraged behavior that's at the best assinine, and at the worst immoral. They have belittled parents. I can't say enough about how I don't want mine connected in any way, shape or form....

 

In my opinion the church should focus on training parents to train their children, or work on family ministries. I know that there are some kids out there that benefit from youth groups, but in general I think youth groups are a flawed idea.

 

 

:iagree:

[mcconnellboys]

Well, of the two youth groups my son has been involved with, I definitely did not like either of them, and really didn't like having him influenced by others in the group (both adults and other teens). We are currently not in a church. As you can see, I'm having some difficulty finding something that I think works for all members of our family.....

 

Regena

[Laurie4b]

I love our youth group. The leader is the kind of man I would love my sons to emulate. (DH is a terrific guy, too, but the more great role models the better!) He wants them all to be "on fire" for Jesus. The group has solid teaching and promotes service. He and his wife and kids also do a lot of "hanging out" with the kids. It takes a church to raise a disciple! :)

[Aubrey]

Mine are little, so I realize I could be wrong, but I don't like the premise of youth groups, & not because it splits the family.

 

I think when hormones are raging like that, most of what goes on in yg's is not wise. I think a program that splits the kids by gender would be better. And if the boys were to simply join an adult men's Bible study, for ex., well, that seems really wise.

 

You know, the older women teaching the younger women, etc. That's what I'd prefer.:D

[CLHCO]

I have such mixed feelings about them. My personal experience when I was young is what gives me the most suspicion. I was a Christian in a fairly secular home but my mom thought it was good for me and encouraged my hanging out with some kids that went to youth group. It did help get me through high school. I loved Jesus, had a great time and learned almost nothing. My love for Jesus was real but it was shallow and emotionally based.

 

Also, I know at least one child conceived from youth group romances and had many other friends emotionally drained from inappropriately close relationships that came through youth groups as well.

 

You can probably guess what happened my first year of college. I was a statistic. I dropped it.

 

I came back to the faith years later, originally wanting nothing to do with youth groups. Since then I've had a chance to rethink everything and now that my daughters are teens I may find myself encouraging them to join up at some point.

 

Part of this is because I currently trust our church to make sure the kids are grounded in reasons for their faith, not just pizza parties for Jesus. I also know that I will be filling in any gaps at home so they are grounded.

 

But, strangely enough, my second reason has to do with socializing, :grouphug: not Bible teaching, exactly what many people do NOT want to hear when they discuss youth groups. My girls are homeschooled and have no clue how to relate to boys. I swear they fear them. Despite what I said above, I realize now that even the Amish have activities specifically so the young men and women can meet one another, learn what personalities they like to interact with, and how to relate to the opposite sex. I am not naive as my parents and other parents were and I don't believe something is guaranteed to be "wholesome" just because it has the stamp of "church" on it. Either we or a trusted adult will be around at all times and teach our daughters to guard their hearts - among other things. They will not attend the "lock-ins" or things I feel could lead where I don't want them to go.

 

That said, I don't think it's necessary to include this social gathering just yet. I'm thinking near the end of high school since I'm not into having kids look for mates until they are close to being old enough to know what to do if they catch one. We also can't justify another evening trip out each week and our church is a 30 minute drive away. We do worship together at the service but I do allow Sunday school. In this church at least, the teaching is sound. Our church does include a class for adults with their preteen to teen children, though we have not chosen this route at this time. Believe it or not, the different opinions on this can co-exist without splitting a body of believers.