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Something is wrong (medically) with my dh and we can't figure out what.


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Ok, I don't know what I need. Advice, sympathy, or just to vent.

 

My dh has been struggling with these symptoms off and on for the last year and a half:

 

He's tired all.the.time. He can drive to work, and pull in the parking lot, and not remember how he got there. Like he 'zoned out' while driving. He's irritable. Not bad, but he is. He gets vertigo.

 

He just has no energy for anything. He feels zomie-like.

 

I FINALLY got him to go see our family doctor (why do men resist seeing the doctor so much?) and she ran a bunch of test. No (and please excuse the spelling, I'm uspet and don't want to look them up): Lymes, Epstein-Barr, fibromyalgia, nothing wrong with his blood count. Dr thought it may be sleep apnea.

 

He went to the pulmonary (sp?) dr yesterday. The dr. looked at all the paperwork/questionaires dh filled out and brought to the appt., and said dh *may have *mild sleep apnea. Um, ok. So now dh is going in for a sleep study next week, where they hook him up to all these machines and see how he sleeps.

 

I'm going to lose my mind. My husband has no energy to do anything. He drags himself to work every day to provide for our family, but that's about all he can do. He's miserable. And I have to do everything else, and the load is getting a bit heavy, ya know?

 

What do I do? My dh actually cried yesterday because he just wants to feel better. He NEVER cries. N.E.V.E.R. I don't know what to do for him. I guess all I can do is wait and see if he does have sleep apnea, and see if the treatment works. I guess I just needed to vent, and unload, and I'm worried for my dh. Sorry it got so long.

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Have they checked his thyroid levels?

This is always my first question in situations like this.

Wish I could offer more, but know we are thinking of him, and you.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I know nothing about the thyroid. I don't think they tested that. It's a bit frustrating, because I can't go the appointments with him (who wants to drag their wife and two little boys into the drs. office), but I can't seem to get good, clear answers from the dr as to what they think is going on.

 

Anyway, off to google thyroid...

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This may be a long shot, but it won't cost anything to try it while he pursues other causes. When you said he suffers vertigo, it made me think of this past month when I had vertigo. It was so bad that when I turned over in bed I woke up due to the room spinning. I went through a month of exhaustion and cloudy thinking.

Try the Epley maneuver, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epley_maneuver . Try doing 3 reps, 2-3 times/day for a couple weeks. I got relief after 3 days.

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Sounds like thyroid issue to me. My mother lived in a zombie-like state for many years until she was properly diagnosed. Don't let the test results fool you or your doctor. You can have "within range" results and have terrible symptoms. It's hard to find a doctor that will medicate you with the proper dose when you fall with-in range, but it's well worth seeking one out until you find him or her.

 

Hugs

K

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This may sound strange, in terms of "how on earth is there a connection?" strange. But my dh suffered many of the same symptoms as your dh. One very observant doctor figured out he had prostatitis. He's not at the age where prostate problems develop, nor did he have any of the typical symptoms that went along with that disorder. Treatment took a few months but he started feeling better quickly and climbed uphill slowly from there. He's now doing great.

 

I don't know if this can be the case with your dh but I did want to throw it out there. I pray that you all find answers soon.

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Sleep issues were my first guess too. I've felt like that (it's more to do with my back than my breathing, though).

 

:grouphug:

 

I know you are already doing a lot, but maybe letting him take a nap (not over two hours, though, that'll just make him MORE tired ime) could help, at least temporarily? :( I'm so sorry this are so tough for you two. Hopefully, the sleep study will clear it all up.

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It does sound a lot like a thyroid problem. But it could also be several other things too.

 

Definitely have the thyroid checked. The iron. And the blood sugar.

 

My husband feels much the same way. I changed our diet a bit after discovering I was hypoglycemic and my husband said that he did feel a difference. He's not 100% better, but he did feel some improvement. You would be surprised what some dietary changes can do. The rest of my husband's problem really is a case of not getting enough sleep. (He's working 60-72 hour weeks right now.)

 

I hope you find out what is wrong with your husband soon. I understand what he feels like.

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I know nothing about the thyroid. I don't think they tested that. It's a bit frustrating, because I can't go the appointments with him (who wants to drag their wife and two little boys into the drs. office), but I can't seem to get good, clear answers from the dr as to what they think is going on.

 

Anyway, off to google thyroid...

 

Please know that if I could, I'd come watch your boys for you so you could go to an appt. with him. Wish I could help more......

Will just have to be content with sending you more :grouphug:

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Sounds like thyroid issue to me. My mother lived in a zombie-like state for many years until she was properly diagnosed. Don't let the test results fool you or your doctor. You can have "within range" results and have terrible symptoms. It's hard to find a doctor that will medicate you with the proper dose when you fall with-in range' date=' but it's well worth seeking one out until you find him or her.

 

Hugs

K[/quote']

 

Yep.:iagree:

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Please know that if I could, I'd come watch your boys for you so you could go to an appt. with him. Wish I could help more......

Will just have to be content with sending you more :grouphug:

 

You're sweet LB, thanks. It's just so frustrating. No one really knows what's wrong with him, but he's miserable. And it's affecting the whole family, of course.

 

I'll talk to him about thyroid tonght when he gets home, and ask if they tested him for that; I can't remeber, and I can't find the papers either. It's a bit scary to hear your husband say 'I feel like I'm going to die'. He wasn't being dramatic. He said it all very matter of fact like. I'm about at my wit's end. We homechurch, and right now we don't have a regular fellowship going. And dh's mother has COPD and is very ill, so we (dh and I) don't want to worry her, so we haven't really been talking to family about the issue. I guess I'm just feeling a bit stuck. I don't know who to talk to, who to turn to. Except the Lord. :)

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Reading through his symptoms, sleep apnea was my first thought. I'm glad to hear he's going in for a sleep study!

 

Me too! My dh was diagnosed with this and sleeps with a machine. It made a *WORLD* of difference. He had many of the symptoms you describe because he was not getting any REM sleep. He was waking up something like 40 times a MINUTE. It was insane. He is a totally different person now.

 

Follow through on the sleep study!!!

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I agree with having his thyroid checked, but those symptoms can all be caused by depression.

 

It sounds like he's had a pretty thorough evaluation, and If everything else seems to be okay, I'd consider having him go on an SSRI for a couple months.

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It absolutely could be sleep apnea. (Like other posters, it was the first thing that popped in my mind when reading the symptoms).

 

When your blood-oxygen levels dip down low at night, it can really really mess you up. (And eventually could kill you. Seriously. It's not just an annoying snoring kind of problem -- it's potentially fatal.)

 

I can't see how the doctor could determine if it was mild or not without a sleep study.

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but it does sound like he's experiencing pretty severe symptoms. I would continue to pursue it (obviously) first with a sleep study. My DH had similar but less severe exhaustion, did a sleep study, and found he has apnea. He only stops breathing, though, when he sleeps on his back. So now he puts a tennis ball on a sock and pins it to the back of a t-shirt to sleep so that he can't roll onto his back. Dorky but effective:)

 

I hope it is something as simple as that. Does he get sick easily? Is he overweight? Does he smoke or drink? I don't have any particular ideas of what it could be, I am glad he's being honest about how bad he's feeling rather than trying to cover. At least he's getting some help! I don't know why it's hard to get some men to get help. My husband has always been good that way, but I know he's the exception.

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I really hope it is something simple and now that he has asked for help, that he gets it soon.

 

One thing that stood out for me is that he says he "zones out". Is his vertigo related to the zoned out feeling in any way? Any other "clusters" of symptoms? Strange sensations? Even just a second or two? I'm asking because temporal lobe epilepsy might also be something to explore.

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Guest Virginia Dawn

My first thoughts were: What is he eating and drinking? Personally, I would try a "clean" diet for a while -that is only whole foods or homemade, absolutely no additives, even vitamins, and little sugar from natural sources.

 

This is not very hard to do. I don't even buy many organic products, but the closer I get to a %100 natural diet, the better I feel, and I feel feel as though I have come out of a fog in the last year. It certainly can't hurt.

 

Basic guidelines- no HFCS, no hydrogenated fats, nothing that you cannot define or pronounce, if it is preprocessed- no more than 5 recognizeable ingredients.

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There are so many things that can cause fatigue. I do agree that sleep apnea is the first to rule out so I'm glad his doctor is on that. If it comes back ok I've got other ideas. I would say no matter what the findings of the sleep study vitamin D levels (25 (OH) D) should be checked if they haven't been. Does he have any pain at all? I had sleep apnea, vitamin D deficiency, and other issues that together caused extreme fatigue and vertigo among other things. It was like I had the fatigue part of the flu nearly all the time. It was debilitating. Treatment has made a world of difference.

Edited by sbgrace
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I hope you can find out what is going on with the resources you have. If you need more options you may want to try LifeExtension Foundation. My mom just got me a membership this week as an early birthday gift. I don't know much about it yet, but what I've seen seems great. They keep up on the lastest reseearch findings, and lean towards using natural healing options along side of western medicine. They are based in Fort Lauderdale, but do phone consultations.

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I would look at the thyroid. The mainstream medical community has a wider range they consider normal so you may want to take your results to a trusted naturopath.

 

However, my first guess would be depression and anxiety. Depression manifests itself in ways other than "the blues." I have a friend who was having memory issues which were eventually diagnosed as anxiety. Men are under tremendous pressure and tend to keep things in more than woment. They often present depression differently than woman.

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Ok, I don't know what I need. Advice, sympathy, or just to vent.

 

He went to the pulmonary (sp?) dr yesterday. The dr. looked at all the paperwork/questionaires dh filled out and brought to the appt., and said dh *may have *mild sleep apnea. Um, ok. So now dh is going in for a sleep study next week, where they hook him up to all these machines and see how he sleeps.

 

 

Good for the sleep study. Did a B12 get checked? Docs forget it can have a lot of effects without anemia or macrocytosis.

 

I had a patient with a lot of very odd, vexing symptoms, and she snored. I finally got her to try a sleep study: narcolepsy. I nearly fell over. Tiny moments of falling asleep that we didn't see. Meds helped her tremendously. If I'm in a group of chatty docs, I play that case like 20 questions. No one has gotten it, so I don't feel bad about finding it by accident.

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Dh is a physician. I will have him read you post and then pm you. I would STONGLY suspect thyroid along with the other posters. You described me exactly before we discoverd my thyroid issues. It's an awful feeling! Will be in contact later.

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I would also check in with a neurologist.

 

:iagree:

 

 

Not being extreme here, but the first things that popped into my mind were blood sugar and MS (the vertigo/zoning out symptoms).

 

(It might be also that we have dealt with similiar symptoms with those 2 diseases)

 

Sending you prayers to find some answers, sometimes it can take quite awhile to get them unfortuntately. :grouphug:

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I'm curious, did you husband ever have infections (ear or other) that required antibiotics? Or did he take pills as a kid for acne? The reason I ask this is because I did tons of research to try to help myself when my doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I realized that I had Candida, due to antibiotic use a few times as a kid for UTI's. I also took some pill for acne and I think that caused my issue, too.

 

I bought herbs and put myself on a strict diet to kill off all the stuff. It's also called Leaky Gut Syndrome. I believe if your dh had this, he would feel worse on days when the sun isn't out, and especially if it's raining.

 

I know what it's like to feel as you say, and it's MISERABLE, especially when doctors can't help you. Maybe he can see someone who treats naturally?

 

Lastly, did he hit his head? After my concussions I had to pull over when driving because sometimes I didn't know where I was, and I couldn't remember where I was going.

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Sleep apnea sounds most likely to me. My hubby has that and his CPAP machine has made a world of difference. It is funny but for the first 15 years of our marriage, my hubby would only sleep 4 or 5 hours per night and I needed 9 or 10. Now he sleeps 8 or 9 hours per night while I barely get 2 or 3 hours a night. I am so happy for him (:toetap05:) because it really does make a huge difference in your ability to function.

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Good for the sleep study. Did a B12 get checked? Docs forget it can have a lot of effects without anemia or macrocytosis.

 

I had a patient with a lot of very odd, vexing symptoms, and she snored. I finally got her to try a sleep study: narcolepsy. I nearly fell over. Tiny moments of falling asleep that we didn't see. Meds helped her tremendously. If I'm in a group of chatty docs, I play that case like 20 questions. No one has gotten it, so I don't feel bad about finding it by accident.

 

:iagree:I think the B12 check is a good idea. I asked my doc for it, or it wouldn't have been tested. I think he thought I was a nut, but I found out I am deficient. I also have had fatigue, dizziness, and feelings of being overwhelmed or couldn't manage. After a week a two on a supplement, I feel very calm inside, my mind isn't racing, and more positive. I can get through the day without feeling like I need a nap.

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I also want to throw out Lyme's Disease. The symptoms you are describing sound eerily familiar.

 

Lyme is not easily diagnosed, and usually other things are ruled out. So the sleep study is a good place to start. Then they can go from there if that is normal.

 

I do not know where you live, but I am in New England and we have the best facilites here for Lyme, since it is common here.

 

The one thing that sticks out at me is the Vertigo and the confusion. You can have Vertigo/confusion with Lyme. But, if the sleep study proves inconclusive, my next suggestion would be to send him for an MRI of the head. A lot of Dr's do not like to do this, but given his symptoms PLUS the vertigo, I would have it checked out. Actually, I would INSIST on it. Vertigo+Loss of Memory confusion is cause for concern.

 

Do you know if they ruled out a mini stroke? An MRI can also detect this. Not always visible to the naked eye.

 

Again, as another option if all the above are negative, please contact someone in your area who specializes in Lyme. It can take months sometimes before symptoms become present.

 

I really hope you can find out soon what is going on. I know the waiting is the hardest part.:grouphug:

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He says they checked his thyroid, it's fine. So it's not that. :(

 

Double check on that and see what they checked. Most of the time they only check TSH. That is not an accurate indicator.

 

He should have his free T3 and T4 tested.

 

I was just diagnosed with hypothyroid/Hashimotos. My dr. originally told me my thyroid was "normal." She had only tested TSH. I pushed her to do the free T's and thats when the Hashimotos was discovered.

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I would make sure the thyroid test was full range of marks and not just the on. Second thought is no one has mentioned heart. My fil and several of hubby's friends lately have been fatigued, tired, confused, and such. Turned out to be problems with the heart - blockage, electrical misfires, etc. If no one has done a full heart workup - ekg, echo I would ask them for that as well. And a full vitamin workup - Vit d, B complex vitamins, iron, - can all make you fatigued and confused as well if they are low.:grouphug:

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1)2nd the sleep study recommendation. it was life changing for my dh to get treatment for his sleep apnea.

 

2)his vitamin d levels are almost certainly low like 85% of the US population. he needs 1000 IU vitamin D per 25 lbs body weight to maintain normal/optimal D levels.....he needs 4x that for a few weeks or months to get his levels up quickly. vitamindcouncil.org Any D3 supplement will do. I purchase all of my supplements from iherb.com b/c the cost is so significantly less than anyplace local.

 

3)more potassium....virtually no one gets sufficient potassium http://www.krispin.com/potassm.html

 

 

All the best,

Katherine

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