Are people just really more argumentative lately in general?

[melissel]

Do you think we're more argumentative here than we used to be? And do you think that's true of other boards you post on and/or people in general?

 

I feel like so many threads here lately devolve into bickering and ugliness, but I can't decide whether it's because I'm more sensitive to it lately or not. Awhile back, I'd decided to try and cut back on my board time because of the conflict level and the fact that I was really overwhelmed in general. I ended up spending some time on a board I used to frequent, kind of thinking it was a safe haven. The very first thread I posted on there spiraled downward immediately and ended up being deleted! The more time I spent there, the more I realized how much conflict was there as well, over the silliest things!

 

Do you feel like the people around you are more on edge and generally ticked off?

[Erica in PA]

Do you think we're more argumentative here than we used to be? And do you think that's true of other boards you post on and/or people in general?

 

I feel like so many threads here lately devolve into bickering and ugliness, but I can't decide whether it's because I'm more sensitive to it lately or not. Awhile back, I'd decided to try and cut back on my board time because of the conflict level and the fact that I was really overwhelmed in general. I ended up spending some time on a board I used to frequent, kind of thinking it was a safe haven. The very first thread I posted on there spiraled downward immediately and ended up being deleted! The more time I spent there, the more I realized how much conflict was there as well, over the silliest things!

 

Do you feel like the people around are you are more on edge and generally ticked off?

 

I haven't noticed it, but I'm comfortable with a certain amount of conflict. It doesn't bother me much when people disagree with me, as long as they don't personally attack me as a person, which I honestly see very, very rarely on this board. To me, a personal attack is something like, "You are stupid/fat/ugly/!" Things like, "I think you're wrong" don't bother me at all.

[LatinLover]

I am new to homeschooling and have lots of questions, doubts, fears, etc. but have been leery to post for some reason I can't quite put my finger on. You might be on to something!

[Prudent]

I've been involved with a few message boards over the years. Without a doubt, this is one of the tamest.

 

Sure there is discussion and debate, but I don't know that it's increased recently.

[lionfamily1999]

Maybe our schedules are all in line, iykwIm...:lol:

 

Seriously, it seems like tempestuous times in general. Irl, most of the people I know are edgy, worried, angry, etc. It's not just politics, it's everything. No money, bigger bills, global unrest, fear of illness, you name it and it seems we got it.

 

No wonder we're all ready to form a mob.

[Garga]

Everything seems the same to me. IRL and on boards.

[melissel]

Maybe our schedules are all in line, iykwIm...:lol:

 

Seriously, it seems like tempestuous times in general. Irl, most of the people I know are edgy, worried, angry, etc. It's not just politics, it's everything. No money, bigger bills, global unrest, fear of illness, you name it and it seems we got it.

 

No wonder we're all ready to form a mob.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

OK, I bet it's really just that I'm more sensitive to it. I'm more sensitive to everything these days! I couldn't help but wonder after my experience with my old board.

 

Thanks for chilling me out, everyone.

[Remudamom]

Me, me, I am!!(Not more sensitive to it, more argumentative.) And I don't mind if people attack me personally either.

Edited September 3, 2009 by Remudamom

[lionfamily1999]

Me, me, I am!!(Not more sensitive to it, more arguementative.) And I don't mind if people attack me personally either.

Was that directed at me?

 

I am SO tattling!

 

Btw, that saddle makes your hind quarters look big :lol:

[JennifersLost]

I think it goes in cycles.

 

We're in the pre-school year/starting school wave of jitters.

 

In a couple of months Christmas will bring out the...uh...worst in us.

 

Face it; we're (mostly) women, we try to make everything perfect and there are several times per year where the impossible overwhelms us and we become very (over) sensitive.

 

I've learned to simply steer clear of the more controversial threads over the years and after being here awhile you can pick them out. When I find myself become oversensitive and lashing out, I know that my own life is out of whack and try to back off the boards for awhile.

[newlifemom]

Me, me, I am!!(Not more sensitive to it, more argumentative.) And I don't mind if people attack me personally either.

 

 

You constantly crack me up.:001_smile:

[Tree House Academy]

I think so. I have noticed a big change on this board since I first joined (a year and a half or so ago). People seem to really be more judgemental, argumentative, and rude overall.

 

I will say that this has not been the case with the other two boards where I chat.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I'm grumpier lately. My opinions haven't changed much though and I still participate or don't on the same basic threads.

 

I am on a private board and I wouldn't say the tone there is more argumentative, but I have been less happy there. But again, I'm grumpier. So who knows. I think it's just that I find one person irritating (hopefully none of them even care enough to worry if it is them if they were to read this).

 

I miss a lot of the controversy here as I drop out early or don't even go to certain threads. Most of the threads I read are more helpful or low level opinions. I was pleasantly surprised that almost everyone was very kind and helpful rather than judgmental and "that is so dumb" on a recent thread of mine.

 

I think you put this many opinionated people together and you're gonna get some discord. I try to keep my grumpiness to myself. I'll try harder.

[Mom-ninja.]

I ended up spending some time on a board I used to frequent, kind of thinking it was a safe haven. The very first thread I posted on there spiraled downward immediately and ended up being deleted! The more time I spent there, the more I realized how much conflict was there as well, over the silliest things!

 

 

 

 

I know what board you are talking about, and it's why I don't post there anymore. It just got to be too much for me with the holier-than-thou attitude.

 

There is conflict here, but it's respectful for the most part. When it's not, I just smile, shake my head, and let it roll off. I've found that most posters here can have polar opposite opinions about topics, and yet still be friendly on the whole.

[Remudamom]

 

Btw, that saddle makes your hind quarters look big :lol:

 

Well what do expect from a Jackie Bee quarter horse??

[HollyDay]

I think it depends on what is going on. The comments posted during the election were "interesting" for a lack of better word. I think SWB said something about if a post title will offend you, don't open it. Wise words indeed.

[lionfamily1999]

Well what do expect from a Jackie Bee quarter horse??

Lol...

[Pink Fairy]

Don't you remember how it used to be before politics were banned? My goodness, the viciousness of it! I know politics are still slipped in here and there, but before the election things got downright gutter-nasty. Since then, everything else just seems mild in comparison.

[Dirtroad]

I have not noticed it specifically here but some people are highly sensitive about certian people or thread discussions at times.

 

I think the general public has a little higher level of irritability due to the economy and concerns over how bad it is for so many of us. I also think respect for others is not a part of our modern culture b/c it is to each his own on the highway, in the grocery store, and (i guess) on the boards. We have more & more people in our community losing jobs & no prospects. My DH works on the other end of the state and with a baby own the way... house won't sell... everyone raising prices... I have some heavy burdens on some days. Others have it worse than us by a mile & I think it may be reflected in their stress levels.

 

However, this is the most highly screened & civil board that I have ever been on (including some scrapbooking boards). My husband is on one where guys (mostly) discuss cars & politics... and they get T-O-U-G-H. They also don't lock threads or eliminate them... but dis-in-vowell any comments (funny to see all the vowells gone)... it is almost impossible to read a nasty post. Too many problems & they kick you off. This is a very polite & civil board!;) Whew... extremely so!

 

That being said, I think women get more easily offended & have a harder time in discussing issues that evoke passion and strong opinions. So, boards with large female populations are TAMER.... but they may be getting a bit more grouchy in stressful times. Those guys are just blunt and can be down right mean.

 

Of course this is opinion & if someone strongly disagrees... what a wonderful variety of life we can have!!!:) Off to soccer....

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I don't think that people are more opinionated or more passionate now than they were in the past. I'd been on the old boards for a while in 2001, when I had to back off from several forums and email groups because of the threads following September 11th.

 

What I think has happened is that our general has gotten progressively more and more general and less homeschooling related. Where 5-8 years ago, you had an impression of someone as an experienced (or not) homeschooler and could decide to take their advice about vacuums or medical care or politics based on an online relationship founded on homeschooling, it seems now to have almost reversed.

 

There are fewer threads about homeschooling on the general board and far fewer homeschooling threads that are popular.

 

Having said that, I also think that many posters from a wide spectrum of opinions tend to feel that they are in the minority. Maybe it's just that there isn't a strong majority here of political/religious/educational philosophies. Maybe we tend not to realize how much time in real life we spend with people who do think like us and therefore encountering folks who disagree is jolting.

 

I try to skip the threads that I know will bring me little insight. But I do miss the days of lots of powerful commentary on homeschooling.

[melissel]

I think you put this many opinionated people together and you're gonna get some discord. I try to keep my grumpiness to myself. I'll try harder.

 

Pamela, I don't think I have ever once seen you post anything I would classify as grumpy :lol:

 

I know what board you are talking about, and it's why I don't post there anymore. It just got to be too much for me with the holier-than-thou attitude.

 

I KNOW! It's like every response to any post came with a "Well!!! How COULD you?" undertone, wasn't it? Even the Frugal Living board! Oh my goodness. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in that. I found so much support and help in that board for so long (wouldn't have survived babyhood and toddlerhood without it, really), and then...I just didn't anymore. What a shame.

[Heather in Neverland]

Maybe our schedules are all in line, iykwIm...:lol:

 

Seriously, it seems like tempestuous times in general. Irl, most of the people I know are edgy, worried, angry, etc. It's not just politics, it's everything. No money, bigger bills, global unrest, fear of illness, you name it and it seems we got it.

 

No wonder we're all ready to form a mob.

 

That's a great idea! Let's start a riot! (can you tell I am a little crabby? it's not my cycle...it's the %#@$& driving in this country!!!!! and NO I am NOT used to it yet so don't ask....there I go again shooting off at the mouth).

[melissel]

Maybe we tend not to realize how much time in real life we spend with people who do think like us and therefore encountering folks who disagree is jolting.

 

I try to skip the threads that I know will bring me little insight. But I do miss the days of lots of powerful commentary on homeschooling.

 

The bolded part above is SO true. I fit into the old board I mentioned like a glove, for the most part, and spent a long time there. I live in a liberal state and area, and most of my friends and family are liberal/progressive. The ones who are not are not vocal about it. My eyes surely were opened very wide when I started spending time here :lol:

 

I guess I don't really remember those days. Or maybe I still get what I need here? Between being able to ask what I need to here and browse at will on the K-8 board, I get what I need in terms of HSing info. And I can't beat this board for homemaking advice, truly. I love that. It just makes me shake my head a bit when a thread about something like taking your shoes off at the door turns into an argument :D

 

Then again, like a PP said (and I've even said), we're a bunch of very thoughtful people with strong opinions. That's a good thing. I'll try harder to be the duck.

[Heather in WI]

nm

Edited September 3, 2009 by Heather in WI

[Heather in WI]

What I think has happened is that our general has gotten progressively more and more general and less homeschooling related.

...

There are fewer threads about homeschooling on the general board and far fewer homeschooling threads that are popular.

...

I try to skip the threads that I know will bring me little insight. But I do miss the days of lots of powerful commentary on homeschooling.

 

:iagree:

[Denisemomof4]

I think so. I have noticed a big change on this board since I first joined (a year and a half or so ago). People seem to really be more judgemental, argumentative, and rude overall.

 

I will say that this has not been the case with the other two boards where I chat.

 

:iagree:

 

I used to frequent these boards 11 years ago and went on almost daily. I don't ever remembering their being issues. I took time off when I put all my kids in school to spend time helping/bonding with my adopted daughter, then came back here what..... a couple of years ago when I decided I would homeschool again. (btw, homeschool is a way of life for me and I was lost without it! Too much time on my hands!) I noticed a HUGE change and frankly I was shocked at how heated a "shoe" question I entered got, let alone personal attacks about people who thought they had me all figured out. :001_huh: Presumptusous people who were wrong. I still watch what I post now but honestly....... I don't care about the opinions of those who attack.

 

And another poster's threads getting rated one star? Can't we all act like adults? Wouldn't that be COOL? :thumbup1:

 

I also feel bad for the moderators who obviously spend large amounts of time on this very busy board. I'm sure they've noted a decline, and I'm sure it's added to their workload.

 

My opinion only, of course..... ;)

[melissel]

I noticed a HUGE change and frankly I was shocked at how heated a "shoe" question I entered got, let alone personal attacks about people who thought they had me all figured out. :001_huh:

 

Was that your post about the shoes at the door? That was hilarious! People who don't really even frequent the board anymore were talking about it IRL :lol:

[gardenschooler]

Me, me, I am!!(Not more sensitive to it, more argumentative.) And I don't mind if people attack me personally either.

 

:lol: You're nuts.

[kokotg]

Maybe we tend not to realize how much time in real life we spend with people who do think like us and therefore encountering folks who disagree is jolting.

 

 

 

Ha! Maybe that's why the amount of arguing here/on the internet in general DOESN'T surprise me. I feel like I spend practically ALL my time with people who disagree with me :lol: (and some who do agree, too, but my crowd of friends/family is certainly a mixed bag, politically speaking. I think it'd do the whole country good if people broke out of their bubbles a lot more, in fact).

[Denisemomof4]

Was that your post about the shoes at the door? That was hilarious! People who don't really even frequent the board anymore were talking about it IRL :lol:

 

I found it funny when I responded first and THEN went back to read the posts.... and saw that it had already been mentioned. :D

 

HEY - ARE YOU PICKING ON ME???

:lol:

[melissel]

I found it funny when I responded first and THEN went back to read the posts.... and saw that it had already been mentioned. :D

 

HEY - ARE YOU PICKING ON ME???

:lol:

 

Yeah, you and your sparkly, germ-free carpet!!! :lol: That one just sticks out in my recent memory as one that totally made me :confused: I can see threads about politics or spanking getting heated, but...shoes at the door? :lol:

[EKS]

I was just going to say that my 13 yo son is but I don't think that was what you were talking about.

[Mrs Mungo]

Yeah, you and your sparkly, germ-free carpet!!! :lol: That one just sticks out in my recent memory as one that totally made me :confused: I can see threads about politics or spanking getting heated, but...shoes at the door? :lol:

 

On a board I used to be on there was a massive 50 page, knock-down-drag-out thread over THIS. I was all :confused:

[Colleen in NS]

I am new to homeschooling and have lots of questions, doubts, fears, etc. but have been leery to post for some reason I can't quite put my finger on. You might be on to something!

 

Please don't hesitate to post and ask questions about homeschooling on any of these boards. That is what they are for. There *are* posters who love to talk about homeschooling, and offer support, esp. for newbies. Post away!

[LMA]

On a board I used to be on there was a massive 50 page, knock-down-drag-out thread over THIS. I was all :confused:

 

I just happen to come to the boards sporadically due to schedules and it seems I miss the fights generally. But I must say you educated me on something I had never heard of. What could you possibly fight over with this item??

 

Louise

[Mrs Mungo]

I just happen to come to the boards sporadically due to schedules and it seems I miss the fights generally. But I must say you educated me on something I had never heard of. What could you possibly fight over with this item??

 

Louise

 

Well, it was sort of like some other arguments I've seen over THIS product. A bunch of people considered it lazy and wasteful, anyone who bought them was a lazy, wasteful, bad mother v. people who thought it was a time-saving product and that it wasn't anyone's business what they chose to spend their money on. I don't even think I posted on the thread other than to be really confused why people would fight over something so stupid.

[keptwoman]

That does take the cake for petty grievances doesn't it!!

[melissel]

Well, it was sort of like some other arguments I've seen over THIS product. A bunch of people considered it lazy and wasteful, anyone who bought them was a lazy, wasteful, bad mother v. people who thought it was a time-saving product and that it wasn't anyone's business what they chose to spend their money on. I don't even think I posted on the thread other than to be really confused why people would fight over something so stupid.

 

Well, Uncrustables are clearly evil, and how anyone could NOT be against them is beyond me. They are right up there with these and those single-serving, plastic-wrapped potatoes that you microwave.

 

Listen, if you are not WITH US, you are AGAINST US.

 

:lol:

[LMA]

Well, it was sort of like some other arguments I've seen over THIS product. A bunch of people considered it lazy and wasteful, anyone who bought them was a lazy, wasteful, bad mother v. people who thought it was a time-saving product and that it wasn't anyone's business what they chose to spend their money on. I don't even think I posted on the thread other than to be really confused why people would fight over something so stupid.

 

Wow. I never knew people argued over these things on forums. Free publicity for the products. I guess I don't hang around long enough on different forums anymore.

 

I really don't like fights on any of the boards I frequent. Productive discussions with opposing viewpoints, yes, but dragged out fights aren't good.

 

Louise

[Mrs Mungo]

Well, Uncrustables are clearly evil, and how anyone could NOT be against them is beyond me. They are right up there with these and those single-serving, plastic-wrapped potatoes that you microwave.

 

Listen, if you are not WITH US, you are AGAINST US.

 

:lol:

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pre-boiled eggs!?!?!?! That is HI-LARIOUS!

[LMA]

Well, Uncrustables are clearly evil, and how anyone could NOT be against them is beyond me. They are right up there with these and those single-serving, plastic-wrapped potatoes that you microwave.

 

Listen, if you are not WITH US, you are AGAINST US.

 

:lol:

 

Never heard of these either.:lol:

 

At least this is an educational thread.:thumbup:

[Mrs Mungo]

Wow. I never knew people argued over these things on forums. Free publicity for the products. I guess I don't hang around long enough on different forums anymore.

 

This was a LONG time ago, at least 10 years ago. :D

 

I really don't like fights on any of the boards I frequent. Productive discussions with opposing viewpoints, yes, but dragged out fights aren't good.

 

I tend to agree.

[lionfamily1999]

That's a great idea! Let's start a riot! (can you tell I am a little crabby? it's not my cycle...it's the %#@$& driving in this country!!!!! and NO I am NOT used to it yet so don't ask....there I go again shooting off at the mouth).

:rofl:

 

 

 

 

Oh, and in some cases (pre-packaged food for instance) some people are either overly sensitive or just spoiling for a fight.

[melissel]

:rofl:

 

 

 

 

Oh, and in some cases (pre-packaged food for instance) some people are either overly sensitive or just spoiling for a fight.

 

Well, sometimes a slice of peanut butter is not JUST a slice of peanut butter. If you care so little about your children to give them such prepackaged garbage, then clearly you are overscheduled or overly focused on your own needs. Am I right??? (Or am I punchy on albuterol again? :lol:)

[keptwoman]

Well, Uncrustables are clearly evil, and how anyone could NOT be against them is beyond me. They are right up there with these and those single-serving, plastic-wrapped potatoes that you microwave.

 

Listen, if you are not WITH US, you are AGAINST US.

 

:lol:

:lol:

Oh my! I have to say I was deeply amused when I was watching TV a few nights ago to see them advertise frozen pre-peeled potatoes, just pop em in a pot and boil em. Because yanno, it's SO hard to peel potatoes. Hell if you don't want to peel them just throw them in the pot unpeeled. Made me giggle. Convenience products are really hitting new levels of crazy aren't they!

[melissel]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pre-boiled eggs!?!?!?! That is HI-LARIOUS!

 

I. SWEAR. IT. They actually sell them packaged by twos (a different brand) in our grocery store. The funny thing is, I can at least see where that MIGHT be useful--you're at the corner deli grabbing some lunch on your lunch break and need some quick protein, but obviously you can't boil eggs there. I completely do not understand the prepackaged potatoes. How hard is it to grab a potato from the bigger bag and stick it in the microwave? The only difference is the vacuum packaging (SO unhealthy and unnecessary in the micro, BTW), and the insane price!

[LMA]

This was a LONG time ago, at least 10 years ago. :D

 

 

Wow, those PB slices have been around that long. I will have to check them out when I go to the store next. I wonder what they taste like....:lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

:lol:

Oh my! I have to say I was deeply amused when I was watching TV a few nights ago to see them advertise frozen pre-peeled potatoes, just pop em in a pot and boil em. Because yanno, it's SO hard to peel potatoes. Hell if you don't want to peel them just throw them in the pot unpeeled. Made me giggle. Convenience products are really hitting new levels of crazy aren't they!

 

We call these "dirty mashed potatoes" at our house. I think the name appeals to my hubby. :lol:

[Tree House Academy]

:iagree:

 

I used to frequent these boards 11 years ago and went on almost daily. I don't ever remembering their being issues. I took time off when I put all my kids in school to spend time helping/bonding with my adopted daughter, then came back here what..... a couple of years ago when I decided I would homeschool again. (btw, homeschool is a way of life for me and I was lost without it! Too much time on my hands!) I noticed a HUGE change and frankly I was shocked at how heated a "shoe" question I entered got, let alone personal attacks about people who thought they had me all figured out. :001_huh: Presumptusous people who were wrong. I still watch what I post now but honestly....... I don't care about the opinions of those who attack.

 

And another poster's threads getting rated one star? Can't we all act like adults? Wouldn't that be COOL? :thumbup1:

 

I also feel bad for the moderators who obviously spend large amounts of time on this very busy board. I'm sure they've noted a decline, and I'm sure it's added to their workload.

 

My opinion only, of course..... ;)

 

I remember that thread! I actually remember pm'ing with you over some of the ugly comments. What a shame that was!

[Tree House Academy]

On a board I used to be on there was a massive 50 page, knock-down-drag-out thread over THIS. I was all :confused:

 

NOW I have seen it all. LOL Maybe I could see my children fighting over the peanut butter, but adults. Really? wow.

 

Most of the things here that get heated, I often find myself thinking "adults, really? wow!" LOL The paypal thread that got heated, for instance. It was all knock down, drag out with me and honestly, it was just a matter of opinion. I never once said, "here is my opinion, but please tell me if you think I am terribe." Nope. And even after all that, I still feel the exact same way. That and the nursing home thread. I still feel the same about that too.

 

What I find strange is that, IRL, I may disagree with a friend, but it doesn't get all messy like it does here. Either I can't express myself properly on message boards or the people here just don't read what I post beyond the part they find to be "horrific." I have never had something IRL get that ugly.