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List the reasons you've heard why not to homeschool.


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I've heard that kids need to learn to listen to other people like teachers. In the same conversation, I heard several people say that their kids don't listen to them, that they are like "oil and water" together.

I've also heard lots of people say that they worry about not knowing what to teach, how to teach or that they don't know enough to teach. I guess they've never heard of teacher's manuals, outsourcing and tutoring.

As a person with a BS in Education, I can tell them that even teachers look at the manual, outsource, and have kids visit tutors.

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My DH LOVED the bus as a kid.

 

I hated it, for all the reasons above.

 

The buses I was on were a lot of fun, as long as we weren't on it for a couple of hours a day. Bouncing in the back, fun bus drivers, pitching the occasional snow ball WHEN THE BUS WAS STOPPED at the driver, racing the other kids down the road for the best seat, watching the horses, livestock and countryside, getting stuck in an inch of snow, visiting with friends. We usually had a great driver and a lot of fun.

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I've had a few legit questions. One was how could I cover math and science at the upper levels. The funny thing was, that it's writing and the hummanities that bother me, and the person asking was in the humanities. She was afraid of the sciences. :D

 

Then my mother, knowing my weaknesses, pointed out that I was going to work hard to overcome them to be successful at it. I still struggle with them.

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When my homeschooled kids meet new kids in the community, they get asked funny questions. Two of my favorites:

 

"You're homeschooled! What do you eat for lunch?" (Most kids in our county get free breakfast & lunch at school.)

 

"You're homeschooled! Does your mom get paid for that?"

 

Another comment:

 

"Youre lucky! You can go to the bathroom whenever you want."

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"But kids need to be around bullies so they learn their place in life." That was a quote taken from a long lost conversation. :001_huh: It also went on to the other missed opportunities such as snow days, prom, field trips and being able to make fun of the teacher with their classmates.

 

Anyone puzzling with the question of whether or not to homeschool should definitely spend an hour with my in-laws. :tongue_smilie:

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I've gotten several:

"I wouldn't have the patience"

 

"I'm not qualified" The lady who told me this has a B.S. in bio-chemistry, a PhD in pharmacology and a masters in international business. But, she doesn't have enough education

 

"I need my time and my space for me"

 

my personal favorite: "But how do they learn life skills like standing in line and raising their hands?"

 

"how will they ever find a spouse?"

 

"how will I ever get all my errands done"

 

and as one other poster said: "Homeschool will prevent you from doing ministry"

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This one was said to me by a close relative. "How will they learn to be bored?" I'm not joking, she was serious! She's worried that when they are adults they will have had less experience sitting through boring classes, and therefore may have trouble sitting through boring meetings.

 

:lol:

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"Youre lucky! "

 

Every single public or private schooled kid has said this to my kid.

All of my dd's friends want to be homeschooled. Especially when they see how we do it. Many of them have sat in on our science lessons. I have a friend here now (visiting for a few weeks) and she actually requests more Latin lessons. (We are doing latin roots).

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One of my favorites -- "It's just not normal."

 

How do you answer that?

 

Locally we had a very sad case involving a homeschool family whose mom is now in prison. Explaining that to the neighbors has been a bit challenging too.

 

We've been at this long enough that I really don't engage much. My standard answer -- "We've been homeschooling from the beginning and it remains the best choice academically and socially for our family."

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Oh heavens...

"They won't learn to cope in the real world"

"How will they manage to deal with bullies?"

"How will they learn to take instruction from other people?"

"How will they be able to work with others?"

"What about dating?"

"What about socialization?"

"What about high school? Can you teach algebra, physics, chemistry?"

"How are they going to learn to cope without you around to fix everything for them, and smooth the way?"

"How will they ever be independent?"

"Don't you need time to yourself?"

"What about your RSD? How will you teach the Littles to write if you can't use your right hand?"

"You're not being fair to them. Just because Diva had a bad experience doesn't mean the Littles will."

"This is more about YOU than whats best for the kids. YOU want something to do now that you've lost your career, so you're going to homeschool at the expense of your kids!"

 

There's lots more, but those are probably the highlights.

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I mostly get 'That's a lot of work!" Personally, I do think it is. I suppose in some ways it's easy and easier than school. But having had my oldest 3 kids all in school at one point, and kids who were happy in school, with people I trusted, I do sometimes foundly recall those quiet mornings with the baby once the lunch-making rush was over. I also enjoyed working in their classrooms. I really did think of our little school as extened family in many ways. I miss that. My youngest is taking enrichment classes there this summer and I enjoy being in that atmosphere and checking in with old friends.

 

I know some hsers say 'anyone can do this' but I don't agree. I do think it's not the easiet thing in the world. So I guess that's not a comment I find silly or wrong-thinking.

 

I don't get the socialization comment much, since there are so many hsers around here. I can't think of anyone who thinks hsing kids don't get to be with other kids.

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I've had a few legit questions. One was how could I cover math and science at the upper levels.
My answer is that I only have to be one page ahead of the kids in order to teach it.

 

And, of course, there's the fact that I never went to school to learn how to teach.
Well, I am shocked! There is no way you are doing it right! :lol:

 

my personal favorite: "But how do they learn life skills like standing in line and raising their hands?"

 

"how will they ever find a spouse?"

 

I sure hope my kid doesn't find a spouse in school. That is a little young isn't it?

 

Hmmm... I will have to start requiring her to raise her hand and maybe put our barbies in a line for lunch and bathroom. Oh, and make sure that after standing in line she has to get her adrenaline pumping to rush through eating, etc., because she is almost out of time.:lol:

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I mostly get 'That's a lot of work!" Personally, I do think it is. I suppose in some ways it's easy and easier than school. But having had my oldest 3 kids all in school at one point, and kids who were happy in school, with people I trusted, I do sometimes foundly recall those quiet mornings with the baby once the lunch-making rush was over. I also enjoyed working in their classrooms. I really did think of our little school as extened family in many ways. I miss that. My youngest is taking enrichment classes there this summer and I enjoy being in that atmosphere and checking in with old friends.

 

I know some hsers say 'anyone can do this' but I don't agree. I do think it's not the easiet thing in the world. So I guess that's not a comment I find silly or wrong-thinking.

 

I don't get the socialization comment much, since there are so many hsers around here. I can't think of anyone who thinks hsing kids don't get to be with other kids.

:iagree:If DD didn't have special needs, I am not sure if I would continue to HS. I always planned on it... but...

 

then again, without her special needs it would be easier.

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This one was said to me by a close relative. "How will they learn to be bored?" I'm not joking, she was serious! She's worried that when they are adults they will have had less experience sitting through boring classes, and therefore may have trouble sitting through boring meetings.

 

:lol:

 

My ds has the answer! Sit through church.

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You shouldn't homeschool because . . .

 

- you don't know what they should learn when.

 

Neither can schools agree on this, but no one outside the profession realizes how arbitrary curriculum really can be.

 

- everyone has blind spots and faults and kids need a variety of teachers to ensure they don't miss anything.

 

I agree, but we have tribe. I can think of six adults who hang out with my kids weekly, and four of them are in official teacher capacity for some of that time.

 

- you'll have to pay for breakfasts and lunches.

 

This brings my inner libertarian out raging.

 

- they'll never learn to get up in the morning.

 

- they won't learn to work jointly on a project with another person or a team.

 

And what are their father and me, chop liver?

 

- you can't afford the equipment they need for gym, art and science.

 

So true. Thank goodness for fitness centers and children's museums.

 

and my absolute favorite reason not to homeschool:

 

- kids shouldn't have to learn all day!

 

That one came from my mother, who raised three kids who love to read and write, but made us sit, bored out of our minds, in age appropriate classrooms because kids shouldn't have to learn all day. She is earnestly disturbed that I expect my children to assimilate NEW information EVERY day. I think this is what happens when you have generations of people who are just not being challenged; nobody ever thought Abuela was smart, because, after all, her skin was brown!

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Many of the ones listed already I have heard, but the worst one I have ever heard came from the kids ped. During an appt to address the behaviour issues tied with their disabilities, he said

 

"If they are going to be bad no matter where they are you may as well send them school and let them deal with it, at least then you get a break"

 

Umm yeah, let me get right on that, sign them up for ps just so I can have "me time"

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I have a homeschool acquaintance who has a great answer for the bully one. She just tells people that her husband makes sure to take their son in the bathroom every couple of days to beat him up and take his lunch money. :lol:

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The goofiest one I've ever heard was when my SIL learned that we wouldn't be sending dd off to Kindergarten and she responded, tragically, "I won't even get to ask her what kind of backpack she picked out!" :crying: What a loss, I know, it was really a home wrecker.

 

I have heard the many, too:

 

They won't get to ride the schoolbus.

I don't know how you think you can do a better job than someone with a pHD in Education! (Because I'm sure there are so many of those at the elementary school.)

How will they make any friends?

How do you do P.E.?

How do you know what to teach?

You'll never have time to yourself.

They won't know how to cope with bullies.

They won't be exposed to different races, religions and beliefs.

Homeschoolers deprive ps of the dedicated parents and the best students.

 

 

And truly, the worst, but I have heard it many times over: How can you stand to be with your kids all day? To which I've replied, "Well, I rather like them." :D

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The goofiest one I've ever heard was when my SIL learned that we wouldn't be sending dd off to Kindergarten and she responded, tragically, "I won't even get to ask her what kind of backpack she picked out!" :crying: What a loss, I know, it was really a home wrecker.

 

Strange... my kids have backpacks. :001_huh:

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I'm *already* getting the mini-lectures from my MIL about how I need to make sure I'm keeping up with my own social life and taking time for myself. Now take a look at my signature, factor in a husband who is gone 14-16 hours a day, and tell me what's wrong with that picture? :lol: Only one of my kids is even old enough for preschool! What am I supposed to do with the babies while I socialize?

 

Anyway, slightly off-topic, but I'm sure that's going to be a major issue with her when we drop the homeschool bomb on her. She actually is one of those people who probably believes every single dumb reason that's listed on this thread, so I'm preparing myself to hear the list.

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ARGH. Yep, this is the main one I hear from family members, along with "you are sheltering them from the 'real' world." :glare:

 

As a Christian, the broader opposition I typically hear from other Christians is that homeschoolers are not allowing their children to be "salt and light" to the rest of the world. Don't even get me started. I could write a book.
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I know I have shared this before, but I was asked if I was worried my children would turn out to be mentally ill from spending so much time with me! :D

 

I have also been told that if I homeschool my teenage daughters that they won't be close to me because they will be tired of seeing me all the time.

 

One of my other favorites was the mom who told me I shouldn't homeschool because where would my daughter learn about fashion and make-up?

 

Amber in SJ

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I'm *already* getting the mini-lectures from my MIL about how I need to make sure I'm keeping up with my own social life and taking time for myself. Now take a look at my signature, factor in a husband who is gone 14-16 hours a day, and tell me what's wrong with that picture?

Ha! Our MIL's must be cut from the same cloth. I was told, while lying on the couch without the energy to go to the letterbox during my first pregnancy, that I needed energising. The cure for fatigue, apparently, is to take Scottish dancing lessons!

 

One of my other favorites was the mom who told me I shouldn't homeschool because where would my daughter learn about fashion and make-up?

 

Hmm. May have a point with this one. Dd won't learn that from me!

 

 

My favourite has to be the one about how they need practise being bullied. Apparently it's character developing, according to my sister who was in her mid 20's before she figured out how to make friends and is now moving to Kenya because she can't find a way to be happy here. Character developing indeed. Character destroying, more like it. She seems to be coming around to my point of view now, and is realising that life doesn't have to be the way it was. Anyway, she leaves in a couple of weeks, so good luck to her!!

 

:)

Rosie

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"It will only work if you live in a commune and have that sort of setting all the time."

 

I have to admit, that one was a shocker. And of course she went on to tell me about all the reasons that 'home schooling' was going to cement the fact that our daughters would have zero friends. She then changed the subject and asked me to pray with her, fervently, for her son who was 14 at the time to finally find a way to make a friend.

 

The same son who had been in corporate care and learning environments from 6 weeks of age on.

 

My friend missed the irony. I kept it as a learning experience and began letting out more slack on that friendship rope.

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I have a homeschool acquaintance who has a great answer for the bully one. She just tells people that her husband makes sure to take their son in the bathroom every couple of days to beat him up and take his lunch money. :lol:

 

I laughed out loud at this. Great response. :thumbup1: Great response!

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So is there no one who does like 'me time'? Personally, I detest that particular phrase, but I really could use more time to myself. It's non -stop people- in- my- face here. :D My dh works at home a lot, and gosh, the days he goes into the office is one less person talking to me. But do not tell him I said that.

 

I can't possibly be the only one, can I?

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So is there no one who does like 'me time'?

 

Sure I like time without the kids. If I really need to get away, I go to the library or bookstore. Sometimes I invite the kids, but going alone is a real treat because there is no one next to me asking when we're going home.

 

If I just want to be alone for an hour or so, I go to my room to either watch tv, read a book, or take a long hot bath.

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So is there no one who does like 'me time'? Personally, I detest that particular phrase, but I really could use more time to myself. It's non -stop people- in- my- face here. :D My dh works at home a lot, and gosh, the days he goes into the office is one less person talking to me. But do not tell him I said that.

 

I can't possibly be the only one, can I?

You are not the only one.

 

If I just want to be alone for an hour or so, I go to my room to either watch tv, read a book, or take a long hot bath.
Must be nice. I hope DD will leave me alone for an hour by the time she is 11. But I doubt it.
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You are not the only one.

 

Must be nice. I hope DD will leave me alone for an hour by the time she is 11. But I doubt it.

 

 

LOL My kids are not little (unless you count my sister's child I help care for while she works), and they never stop talking. My 10 yr old is sitting right beside me, reading a book, and giggling, stopping to read me various passages.

 

Everywhere I go, there they are.

 

I feel blessed blessed blessed. But I also like silence.

 

I know; someday I will be alone. Too bad life doesn't offer a better balance...:tongue_smilie:

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The spring that I "announced" that we'd be homeschooling oldest ds for kindergarten in the fall, my brother told me that he needed to go to school to learn to work with other 5-year-olds.

 

 

You know, that kid of yours might have been destined to be a kindergarten teacher, and you're jeopardising that by not allowing time to learn to work with 5 year olds.

 

:tongue_smilie:

Rosie

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Yes, I love to have "me time". I think it could quickly become an addiction. If I sent my kids to school, I would probably become one of those moms who dreaded summer vacations.

 

For now, my "me time" is in the evenings after they go to bed and during nap time (if they both nap at once), and occasionally when my parents come to visit. And I'm thankful for it!

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My ds has been dx as mild Aspergers and apparently my hs'ing him has caused it!!! :cursing:

 

Same with my oldest ds. I have had it hinted and somewhat more boldly put that he would not be considered ADHD or bipolar if we has just left him in PS after first grade.

 

He had problems in K and first also, but some folks (even the teacher) actualyl attributed that to the fact he was not in daycare since infancy, thus he was not "socialized."

 

:(

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My dad wanted to know how long I was going to keep my son from the real world. All I could think of is "I wish he had kept me from the real world of middle school". Now it makes me smile, my kids are much more exposed to the real world than any of the public school friends they have.

Melissa

 

My mom says that frquently. Once we did put my son in PS middle school, we saw a rapid decline in his confidence, manners, motivation, attention span, moods, etc.

 

PS didn't cause those problems, but it exacerbated them.

 

Now my mom thinks that because my son is having really BAD problems, it is proof that homeschooling ruined him and that we need to come to our senses and put our other three in school before "it's too late." She is convinced if our ds had always been in PS, he would never had done drugs, etc. But now every bad thing he does is attributed to his late return to PS, after years of homeschooling, which was better for him.

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I have a homeschool acquaintance who has a great answer for the bully one. She just tells people that her husband makes sure to take their son in the bathroom every couple of days to beat him up and take his lunch money. :lol:

 

:lol::lol: Funny. I love sarcastic humor. It really gets right to the point!!!!

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How can he play FOOTBALL? (deep south education requirement);)

 

How will they be able to work a job on a schedule? (can't just come & go)

 

Will you teach college at home too?:glare:

 

Plus the usual...

 

  • How long to protect him from the real world?
  • How will they be able to get along with people who are different?
  • How will they be able to handle college classrooms?
  • How will they make friends?
  • Why do you do it to yourself?
  • Why don't you trust the local teachers - you went to school with some of them? (answer: that might be one of the good reasons for homeschooling)

 

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I've gotten "they won't know how to deal with difficult people" a couple of times. Thanks to this board, I have the conversation-stopping comeback:

 

"Obviously, you don't know my husband very well."

 

This works best with people who know him very well, because he IS difficult! Even my son pulls me aside and gives me pointers on dealing with him!:smilielol5:

 

And then there's me. :D

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So is there no one who does like 'me time'? Personally, I detest that particular phrase, but I really could use more time to myself. It's non -stop people- in- my- face here. :D My dh works at home a lot, and gosh, the days he goes into the office is one less person talking to me. But do not tell him I said that.

 

I can't possibly be the only one, can I?

I do need "me" time (I call it alone time). My kids have a 2 1/2 hour rest time every day, and they go to bed at 8pm. I also go out three or four nights a week, to the library or the store or wherever. My dh is able to get alone time just by reading or playing on the computer, even if the kids are around. I am not like that.

 

I really haven't heard too many reasons not to homeschool...I do get "You would get a break" from my grandmother...and it's true. My ds was in public school for 6 weeks last year, and honestly, it was heavenly. He's a hard kid to deal with...but homeschooling is better for him.

 

We live in a homeschool-rich area and most people are very used to homeschoolers and don't say anything negative.

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I do need "me" time (I call it alone time). My kids have a 2 1/2 hour rest time every day, and they go to bed at 8pm. I also go out three or four nights a week, to the library or the store or wherever. My dh is able to get alone time just by reading or playing on the computer, even if the kids are around. I am not like that.

 

I really haven't heard too many reasons not to homeschool...I do get "You would get a break" from my grandmother...and it's true. My ds was in public school for 6 weeks last year, and honestly, it was heavenly. He's a hard kid to deal with...but homeschooling is better for him.

 

We live in a homeschool-rich area and most people are very used to homeschoolers and don't say anything negative.

 

 

Rest time.

 

That is so cute.

 

My kids are 20, 16, 15, 10, and 4 (my little charge).

 

They don't shut up for 5 minutes. Thankfully, some of them have summer jobs. If I could get someone to hire the 10 and 4 yr olds, I'd be golden.

 

I know you are all thinking 'Wow, her kids are big, she can get some time" And all I can tell you is this: That's a big fat lie.

 

All they want to do is talk talk talk talk talk talk, and, you know, talk.

 

And they cook. They cook quiche, and cookies, and sauces, and burritos from scratch, and scrambled eggs, and they grill, and they are always in the kitchen. They bring their friends....and they are *always here*.

 

Chatting. Chatting. Chatting.

 

OK. I need to go chat. There is a bonfire in my fire pit about to begin.

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As a Christian, the broader opposition I typically hear from other Christians is that homeschoolers are not allowing their children to be "salt and light" to the rest of the world. Don't even get me started. I could write a book.

 

Yes, I've heard this one too!!!

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