Ohdanigirl Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Hi everybody! I was hoping some of you may be able to help me. My sister in law is pregnant and also happens to be deaf. Since she found out that she s pregnant her family has been very unsupportive and they have told her that she will be unable to raise a child because she is deaf. It has really hurt her self esteem and put a black cloud over her. Dh and I are trying to be as supportive as possible and would like to help them be as prepared as possible. Do any of you know where we can begin finding products that will help her when the baby arrives, especially a special baby monitor? Also, suggestions on what they will need? We live in Mexico but I plan on going state side to ind things. Thanks everyone.... please pray for them. Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 http://www.harriscomm.com/catalog/default.php?cPath=1215_1086 These look good and aren't too expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lighthouseacademy Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I don't know where she will be able to buy products, but I can tell you that I have a dear dear friends who had 5 children. She is married to a hearing man and she is deaf. She is raising 5 amazing children quite well. After the 4th was about 2, she got a cochlear implant, but she did the baby thing. I know the main thing for her was that she had baby sleep with her- you can feel baby move if baby wakes up. She also carried baby with her always- a sling would be very helpful. Many deaf people raise babies into adults. Don't let her get down! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 What a lousy attitude! Your sister in law will use her eyes instead of her ears, that's all. For goodness sakes, the rest of us are constantly checking our babies, and we know we'd hear them if they woke. I'm sure a baby monitor and a sling is all the special equipment she needs, and how special is that? Most of us have those things ourselves! To be honest, the most important thing for your sister in law is to read a lot about pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing so she doesn't have to believe everything her doctor (or her mother) tells her. Lack of access to information is the biggest problem the deaf tend to face, really. Here's a blog written by a Deaf homeschooling mum. Lovely woman, I've met her a few times. Dh used to take circus classes with her. http://fixiefoo.typepad.com/about.html So there. *Pulling rude faces at your SIL's family* She's no less capable than any one else, and probably a great deal more capable than many. :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2agang Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I know they train dogs to help the deaf with children. Maybe check into that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I had a boyfriend who was brought up by deaf parents, and he was normal! Many deaf people have children. In fact, I can think of some advantages :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 When I was in college I worked as an interpreter in a deaf church. I had many deaf friends and families where deaf parents were raising both deaf and or hearing children. I no longer have the resources to tell you where to get the products they will need to help them, but I can tell you that these were happy healthy families. They all had a large community of deaf friends for support and of course everyone celebrated new babies. No one ever thought to be concerned about the challenges. Please send your SIL a big :grouphug: from me and tell her she will be fine and so will her baby!! I am so sorry her family has not given her this same support already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous. Deaf people have children all the time and raise them successfully. Sure, there are challenges, but parenting is full of challenges for everyone. I'm so sorry your SIL is not getting the support (and celebration of the upcoming child!) that she needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I know there's someone who is Deaf on these boards... Is she in contact with the Deaf community near her? She will get lots of support there. If all else fails, call Galludet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I have a friend who was raised by two deaf parents. She's perfectly fine. She grew up bilingual- English and American Sign Language. The only thing she would have changed about her childhood was speaking earlier. Her parents were both deaf, and did not send her to preschool or out into the world much before kindergarten, so her English Language skills were not up to par when she started school. However, both her parents were deaf so it's a little different than your sil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 That is so sad that she has such a toxic family atmosphere. She needs people like you and your family to help her keep her confidence up. There is absolutely no reason she can't raise a child because of her deafness. Her family needs a reality check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessed2fosteradopt Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 What a lousy attitude! Your sister in law will use her eyes instead of her ears, that's all. For goodness sakes, the rest of us are constantly checking our babies, and we know we'd hear them if they woke. I'm sure a baby monitor and a sling is all the special equipment she needs, and how special is that? Most of us have those things ourselves! To be honest, the most important thing for your sister in law is to read a lot about pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing so she doesn't have to believe everything her doctor (or her mother) tells her. Lack of access to information is the biggest problem the deaf tend to face, really. Here's a blog written by a Deaf homeschooling mum. Lovely woman, I've met her a few times. Dh used to take circus classes with her. http://fixiefoo.typepad.com/about.html So there. *Pulling rude faces at your SIL's family* She's no less capable than any one else, and probably a great deal more capable than many. :grouphug: Rosie Excellent post! I totally agree. Big hugs to your SIL. I am sure she will be an amazing mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 My best friend's mom was deaf. My best friend is hearing and she did fine. Her mother raised 2 children from babies to adulthood and never was there a problem due to her lack of hearing. The main thing, I think, is that, if the mom does make a mistake (as we ALL do at some point in child raising) that she realize early on that it is not her lack of hearing - but that we all do it. Bless her heart. I am so sad that her own family would put this in her mind and cause such doubt. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Your SIL has idiots for family members. I don't have any links for products, but I know they exist, sorry. I've seen the baby monitor. And actually, most baby monitors would work, simply because they have the bar across them, the light, showing the noise. The ones that are specialized have far better lights though, that flash and are brighter. More attention provoking. Just saying if you *couldn't* get your hands on those first thing, a regular one could work in a pinch, she'd just really have to make a habit of glancing at it every few mins to see if the bar is lighting up across the lenght or not. Hopefully I've explained that properly. My mom did daycare. One family she worked for, the parents were both Deaf, and the four children were hearing. Made for some very interesting moments, especially the one time when the parents were obviously mid argument when they came to pick the kids up. Lemme tell you, 'shut up' is the first ASL my youngest brother learned, and he was 3 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 My mom did daycare. One family she worked for, the parents were both Deaf, and the four children were hearing. Made for some very interesting moments, especially the one time when the parents were obviously mid argument when they came to pick the kids up. Lemme tell you, 'shut up' is the first ASL my youngest brother learned, and he was 3 :lol: Heheh. I remember being so proud that my skills in Auslan had developed to the point where dh and I were able to have a full argument in the back of someone's car, which they were completely unaware of. I was so delighted that I had to boast to someone, which had to be dh, of course, or the couple in the front would have known. He was proud too, so we made up :lol: There are worse traits than deafness as far as kids are concerned, like Mammas who are grumpy in the morning ;) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OHGrandma Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Since she's made it to adulthood as a deaf person, I'd think she'd be just as capable as a hearing person to raise a child. Of course, the abilities of hearing people range from incapable to supremely capable; meaning the ability to hear has nothing to do with being able to raise a child. I'd think it would be easier to raise children if you're deaf rather than blind, and I have a blind niece who, with her husband, is raising 4 children, including a set of twins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 Thanks everyone. These are all points that dh and I have made to her and her family. I actually think there is more to it, but didn't want to be rude. BIL believes it has more to do with their financial troubles, since they are pushing for the couple to move in with them and let grandma rase baby since BIL works. I guess you can all use your imagination. Another problem is that we live in Mexico and there is not very much info/education on the subject here. Sad. They couldn't believe dh and I started looking for schools to learn LSM, so that we and our children could communicate with SIL and make her feel like part of the family. I guess only her immediate family learned a little and the extended family just ignores her. It is all very strange to me.:confused.:confused: Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 They couldn't believe dh and I started looking for schools to learn LSM, so that we and our children could communicate with SIL and make her feel like part of the family. I guess only her immediate family learned a little and the extended family just ignores her. It is all very strange to me.:confused.:confused: Danielle You'd think it strange, wouldn't you? It's very, very common though. It's more common for this to happen than it is for families to learn to sign. It's as though people really believe that a deaf person needs to learn to hear and will get better with practise. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 What? Deaf people have families. That's idiotic thinking on their part. That's all I can say about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 We have a deaf mother in our hsing co-op who just had her 2nd baby. Her oldest is 6 or 7. Of course she can do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Something like this might work. And these articles might be a good place to start. Oh and this looks like just the thing! And your SIL family are being stupid. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I guess only her immediate family learned a little and the extended family just ignores her. It is all very strange to me.:confused.:confused: Danielle Most deaf children are born to hearing parents, and the sad fact is that most of those parents don't bother to learn sign language. It's a very sad fact. I knew a deaf couple (both deaf). They had a hearing child and a deaf child, and homeschool both of them. They are doing fine. They attend a hearing church, with interpreted services for their hearing child. Their deaf child goes to oral classes, but don't push it on her. The kids are involved in sports and Awana and Sunday school just like any other child. The church provides interpreters for the deaf child's Sunday school and Awana, as well as the services. She'll be fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Good grief. The extra burden people have to bear is more than just having a disability -- it's the help of Job's comforters like those! Sheesh. Had a friend in law school whose parents were both deaf and he was top of the class. His only complaint about his childhood was as a teenager it was hard to convince deaf parents to shell out the money for an expensive stereo system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pongo Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 (edited) Hi everybody! I was hoping some of you may be able to help me. My sister in law is pregnant and also happens to be deaf. Since she found out that she s pregnant her family has been very unsupportive and they have told her that she will be unable to raise a child because she is deaf. It has really hurt her self esteem and put a black cloud over her. Dh and I are trying to be as supportive as possible and would like to help them be as prepared as possible. Do any of you know where we can begin finding products that will help her when the baby arrives, especially a special baby monitor? Also, suggestions on what they will need? We live in Mexico but I plan on going state side to ind things. Thanks everyone.... please pray for them. Danielle My sister is deaf, had and raised 3 hearing children . One is finishing up Law school, one is in the Army, and the other is in the Naval academy (girl). It can be done:) Before she had her first she got on the list to get a hearing dog. Gretchen (German Shepard) told her when the baby cried, when the phone rang (she uses a TTY),if the smoke alarm went off,protected the baby,was by her side...... always. Gretchen was a life saver for her. Then with her confidence built up, she had two more. Great mom, great kids! Edited June 29, 2009 by Pongo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I have a friend with a hearing dog. She's a wonder. ( The friend and the dog. :) ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 My sign language teacher in college was hearing but raised by deaf parents. She considered ASL her first language and regular English her second language, but I assure you she was totally bilingual. She's a wonderful lady, a fantastic prof, and she suffered no ill effects from being raised by a deaf mom and dad. Tell SIL not to worry. Life is too short to pay attention to such rot! :auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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