A for CoSleepers - logistics?!

[CookieMonster]

(Supposed to be: A Question for CoSleepers - logistics?!)

 

Ok, I've had three infants now. I've fallen asleep while nursing them in a laying position more times than I care to admit. But I still cannot figure out how you would actually intentionally sleep an infant in your bed. I've pondered and pondered and come up empty.

 

I am not starting a debate. I love my cosleeping mommas just as much as I love crib mommas like me. ;)

 

But, seriously, this question is driving me nuts.

 

Where do you put the baby in bed? I cannot figure out how I could curl up with my comfy cover over my shoulder, as usual, as still get a baby in bed with me. It would be under the covers! How do you do it? Do you not use covers? Do you leave your shoulders uncovered? Are you short so you just use the bottom two-thirds of the bed anyway?

 

And how do you nurse comfortably on your side? Even though I've fallen asleep nursing an infant this way, it's always been from sheer exhaustion. I've never stayed asleep long because it's so ding-dong-dang uncomfortable. It actually hurts my back to nurse lying on my side. And what do you do with your top arm? I can either put mine on my baby (no) or lay it along my body (uncomfortable) or sort of lay it on top of my top BooK (also uncomfortable).

 

Thanks for 'splaining this to me. I've thought about this a lot lately and cannot figure anything out.

[Carrie12345]

Dh and I use separate blankets (I'm a blanket hog!). When I had my infants in my bed, I'd wrap the blanket over my top shoulder, then angled down toward my waist and tucked under, so the blanket had no risk of going over the baby.

I've always been a side sleeper so, after a little practice, nursing on my side was pretty easy. I put my arm up with my hand under my head or stretched out over the baby's head, but that's my usual position.

[Old Dominion Heather]

Top arm goes under my head, curled up. I sleep that way anyway. Baby goes next to me. I sleep in something w/long sleeves when I am nursing. Covers get wrapped around me, under baby. Baby wears something warm enough not to be cold. Bed goes against the wall or pushed up against the side of the crib. We take the side off the crip and then if I am concerned about baby getting too hot, I just shove him over into the crib.

[eternalknot]

 

Where do you put the baby in bed?

 

I never gave it too much thought, but my kids sleep next to me just like a 'normal' person would :D they don't use pillows, so they're position is naturally just a big higher than mine. When they need to nurse throughout the night, I scoot them down to the breast and just push my covers down. They generate enough heat to keep me moderately warm, even if my shoulders are bared; sometimes in winter I'll just sleep with a second, smaller baby blanket wrapped as a shawl over my shoulder. Rarely I'll just wear a long-sleeved shirt (I hate the feeling of those, though). It's a minor inconvenience, but I'm way lazier about having to actually leave my otherwise warm bed for a midnight feed ::grin::!

 

 

And how do you nurse comfortably on your side?

 

I sleep on a futon, which is naturally very firm. So sure, it's not all that comfortable to nurse on my side .... but, it's just what'cha do, know what I mean? The first few months I usually sleep and nurse in a semi-reclined position, after that it doesn't take long for my kids to be able to latch on if I'm flat on my back (they then, in a sleepy mode, simply lay down on their own). So sleeping on my side is really only for a few of those inbetween months, like between 2-6 months. Do-able :)

 

And what do you do with your top arm?

 

Just depends. Usually I'm reading, so it's holding a book over my head or the baby's. Sometimes I'm on the laptop, so it's stretched over baby to reach the keyboard and I just rest it on my side in between clicks. Sometimes it's stretched not-quite-comfortably to my other side to stroke or "be there" for my other co-sleeper. If I'm ready for bed myself, it's just usually at my side until that becomes uncomfortable; then I suck it up. My kids don't do marathon nighttime nursings, though, so it's never been all-night that I've had to be physically uncomfortable. Once they're done nursing I'm able to move to my back and sleep in my normal way.

[LaxMom]

Top arm goes under my head, curled up. I sleep that way anyway. Baby goes next to me. I sleep in something w/long sleeves when I am nursing. Covers get wrapped around me, under baby. Baby wears something warm enough not to be cold. Bed goes against the wall or pushed up against the side of the crib. We take the side off the crip and then if I am concerned about baby getting too hot, I just shove him over into the crib.

 

Exactly. Except we didn't use the crib sidecar until the boys were born and we just naturally needed more space for 4 people. Even though I couldn't just roll over, latch baby on and go back to sleep with two of them, I can't imagine having to physically get out of bed multiple times a night and go to another location to feed the little one(s). I was sleep deprived enough just having to sit up and feed two of them.

[BlsdMama]

LOL!

 

We've actually tossed our crib finally as it just takes up space and doesn't get used.

 

Our babies sleep in bed with us in the middle. When I switch sides, they go to the other side. We have a fabric mesh side guard that will prevent falling off and won't allow them to be squished and unable to breathe.

 

Both DH and I are moderate sleepers so we've never rolled on them yet.

 

Honestly? I HAVE to co-sleep. It's a matter of sanity for me. If I don't get sleep I get cranky.

 

Maybe it's habit? It's kind of like a buffet... serve yourself. And they can. :tongue_smilie: And you get used to baby moving, squirming, nurse and then roll over.

 

We have had babies this did not work for. Rebecca did NOT sleep well with others and when we put her in a separate area she slept through the night. Christian used to wake up apart from us. You could visibly see him stretch out his hand until it would come in contact with one of us (while sleeping) if we moved away from him.

 

My bottom arm tucks under my head. My top arm drapes over the baby. Side nursing is very comfortable for me. Plus nursing in different positions can actually help prevent plugged ducts. Nursing on demand and through the night is a way to naturally delay ovulation and cycles. All the way 'round it feels very natural to me. Ana was our first to co-sleep and all have done it to a greater or lesser extent. Generally we've never had more than two children in our bed and now that they have siblings to bunk with we generally kick one out when the new one comes without any fuss.

[skaterbabs]

DD just curls up next to me. When she was itty bitty it was really quite easy, it's just now getting difficult because she's 45 inches tall and 50 lbs. lol We'll probably transition her to her own room around her next birthday.

[Wee Pip]

I have a 7 week old, 5 lb preemie:) She spent 1 month in NICU & in that time I was inundated with "Back to Sleep!" "Crib to Sleep!" slogans, and constantly barraged with the dangers of co-sleeping. Our 1st week home, I refused to have a tiny 3 lb baby in bed with me. That week I didn't get sleep. I grew extremely depressed and stopped eating and dropped a bunch of weight. After that, I realized I needed sleep, even if it meant having the baby in bed with me. I pump breastmilk exclusively (exhausting!) and feed it to her by bottle (exhausting!) I do have to get up in the night with her in order to feed her bottle and then pump. This really cuts into my sleep time, and I'm exhausted. If I didn't have her in bed with me, I wouldn't get any sleep at all. I would prefer to have her sleep in a crib, but I learned that I have to get some sleep any way that I can. Because she's so tiny, I'm paranoid about smoothering her. We sleep in 2 positions: with my arm under her head (that way I'm always conscious of her being there), or with her on my chest (tummy side down - this really helps with her reflux). I sometimes wrap the blankets around the bottom half of both of us, or I swaddle her in a baby blanket, and then keep my blanket wrapped in a way that it is away from her. If she is on top of my chest, I wrap the blanket over top of us and tuck it underneath of me (I feel this straps her to me better so she won't roll off). My quality of sleep is terrible, but better than having the baby wake up constantly as soon as I set her down in the crib, or constantly trying to shove a pacifier in her mouth, hoping to get 5 mins of alone-time sleep.

[SquirrellyMama]

I did the blanket like someone else said. I put it over my shoulder and angled it down so the baby was covered. I would sleep with my arm out towward my dh and baby with head touching my arm. I couldn't roll over with my arm out straight. My dh would often sleep the same way so he couldn't roll over either.

 

I loved nursing on my side. With my ds that was the only way I nursed for awhile. I had so much trouble latching my kids that I could nurse and go to sleep so I wouldn't feel the pain.

 

Kelly

[KidsHappen]

Well, I coslept with the last four. We have a king size bed and the baby just snuggled up beside me with me on my side, arm under my head. If the baby wasn't actively nursing they may have been laying on their back and I rolled on to my back and then just rolled towards each other again to nurse. It worked easily and naturally. Once they were to the point where they did not need to nurse so frequently in the night, we placed our mattress on the floor and a queen along side it. I would lay with the baby on the queen and nurse her to sleep and the scoot over to my bed to sleep. If she woke during the night I simply rolled on to her bed to nurse and then repeated process. Not everyone would want to do this but it worked for our family.

 

My children slept in our room until they were quite a bit older. Some did not leave completely until they were eight or nine. My youngest has just moved out in the last year. This last Christmas was the very first one in which all the children did not sleep in our room on Christmas eve. It was kind of a sad passing of a family tradition. I still have occasional visitors when my husband is out of town. My 17 years old has spent a few nights in my room recently. I expect to have grandchildren in the bed before too long.

[swellmomma]

When my babies were really really tiny I kept them higher up on the bed, so the cover only came to their bums. Of course all have been late summer/early fall, so covers were not needed until the babies were already getting bigger and able to roll over and kick off the cover and then I would angle it like others have said. At that point we slept either spooning or chest to chest until they hit the sprawling stage, Usually I have 1 arm over the baby, and the other folded under my pillow the way I like. My 1st co-slept for 1 year, the 2nd for 8 weeks (she needed her own space in a crib), the 3rd for 3 years and the 4th is coming up on 2 years. The 3 that co-slept the longest were actually my preemies. WIth the 1st I always intended to use a crib but when he was released to my hospital room out of the nicu, I could help but hold him constantly even as he slept. Turns out they did not do all the testing needed and he had severe apneas, the ped told me the only reason he did not die those first 3 days was because he had been sleeping in my arms/on my chest and every little movement, sound etc I made startled him enough to keep him breathing. I was sold after that, and paranoid. HE was on meds for 4 months to keep him breating and I kept him in my arms 24/7 for those 4 months worried he would stop breathing. After that it seemed weird to not co-sleep with my babies. As long as they were not in the nicu they were in my bed including at the hospital.

[Karen sn]

You can scoot over once they fall asleep.

I have slept with both of my kids and can not imagine any other way.

One time I was in a deep sleep and in my sleep I heard my dd's breathing change. It did not stop, just changed. I woke up knowing that her breathing was different and there she was - the sheet over her head. It would not have killed her. But my body - even as deep as I do sleep - was aware enough to let me know something had changed in her breathing...even just the fact that it was not as loud because the sheet softened it.

 

I love snuggling up to my little man.

Sometimes after he is done nursing he will pull away and roll over with such force that I think he is awake. But he is OUT. So then I pull him into me and spoon him. It is then that I think he feels like a puppy.

 

Usually he just falls asleep at the boob and then I slide it out of his mouth and he continues to be pressed up against me. I will use a booklight and read (Jodi Picoult is my new favourite author) or watch a good movie. Just me and the baby in a room all alone and the day is over....it is one of my favorite times. My boyfriend sometimes sleeps with us - but our matress is awful, so he usually sleeps in the much more comfy guest bed.

 

He loves sleeping with the baby though and would never have it any other way. He thinks it's more dangerous to be in a crib in another room. Especially because we think our little climber would have a long hard fall the first time he escaped.

 

I do know that there are side sleepers for folks who want a little bit of both worlds.

[CookieMonster]

Dh and I use separate blankets (I'm a blanket hog!). When I had my infants in my bed, I'd wrap the blanket over my top shoulder, then angled down toward my waist and tucked under, so the blanket had no risk of going over the baby.

 

Do you know that this never even occured to me. Duh. Tuck the covers under the baby!

 

I've always been a side sleeper so, after a little practice, nursing on my side was pretty easy. I put my arm up with my hand under my head or stretched out over the baby's head, but that's my usual position.

 

Hmm, I'm a long-time side-sleeper as well. I also tuck my arm up under my head. I still can't figure out side-lying bfeeding. Maybe it's my anatomy: big BooKs & long arms. If I lie with the wall or dh up against my back I have no pain. If I lie alone I have a sore back. Weird.

[CookieMonster]

I never gave it too much thought, but my kids sleep next to me just like a 'normal' person would :D they don't use pillows, so they're position is naturally just a big higher than mine. When they need to nurse throughout the night, I scoot them down to the breast and just push my covers down.

 

Thanks. It never occured to me that you could slide the baby up - away from the breast - after they were done nursing. Why? I have no idea...

 

So sure, it's not all that comfortable to nurse on my side .... but, it's just what'cha do, know what I mean?

 

Thank you for saying this. At least I'm not the only one who finds nursing while lying down uncomfortable.

 

Just depends. Usually I'm reading, so it's holding a book over my head or the baby's. Sometimes I'm on the laptop, so it's stretched over baby to reach the keyboard and I just rest it on my side in between clicks.

 

Holy Toledo, Batman! You type and read while nursing on your side? You're a wonder!

[CookieMonster]

I have a 7 week old, 5 lb preemie:) She spent 1 month in NICU

 

I pump breastmilk exclusively (exhausting!) and feed it to her by bottle (exhausting!) I do have to get up in the night with her in order to feed her bottle and then pump. This really cuts into my sleep time, and I'm exhausted.

 

My quality of sleep is terrible, but better than having the baby wake up constantly as soon as I set her down in the crib, or constantly trying to shove a pacifier in her mouth, hoping to get 5 mins of alone-time sleep.

 

Wee Pip, you poor, poor thing. :001_huh:

 

I am inspired by your tenacity.

 

I'm sure as your new wee one gets older things will get much easier.

 

Wow. You're a good mama.

[gardening momma]

But I still cannot figure out how you would actually intentionally sleep an infant in your bed.

 

Where do you put the baby in bed? I cannot figure out how I could curl up with my comfy cover over my shoulder, as usual, as still get a baby in bed with me. It would be under the covers! How do you do it? Do you not use covers? Do you leave your shoulders uncovered? Are you short so you just use the bottom two-thirds of the bed anyway?

 

And how do you nurse comfortably on your side? Even though I've fallen asleep nursing an infant this way, it's always been from sheer exhaustion. I've never stayed asleep long because it's so ding-dong-dang uncomfortable. It actually hurts my back to nurse lying on my side. And what do you do with your top arm? I can either put mine on my baby (no) or lay it along my body (uncomfortable) or sort of lay it on top of my top BooK (also uncomfortable).

Edited for clarification: For the arm lying on the bed, by the baby: I put my upper arm out at a right angle from my body, and then my lower arm (forearm), bent at the elbow, at roughly another right angle (down). The baby slept with her head pillowed on my upper arm. This served as a "kickstand" so that I couldn't roll over. Slightly uncomfortable for me, but well worth it. I could nurse and fall back asleep with no time wasted. I pulled the covers almost all the way up, but maybe not quite over my shoulders. I was warm enough with a baby next to me. I'd nurse on one side, then turn over, arrange the two of us with my "kickstand" arm, and we'd go to sleep. When she woke up again to nurse, I didn't have to figure out which BooK to use next.

 

For my other arm, I suppose I just goes wherever is comfortable...maybe resting over the baby.

 

I tried once to have her sleep in the middle of the head of the bed, and I rolled blankets up around her so she wouldn't roll, she had her own blankets, etc... But I woke up during the night in a panic because I didn't know where she was, and thought my covers were over her. She was just fine, no blankets over her, except her own. But that's why after that I started having her head on my arm, so I'd always feel her and know where she was, even if I woke just slightly.

Edited June 24, 2009 by gardening momma
edited for clarification

[tadbhoward]

My hubbie attached our crib to the bed and I would just roll over to them when it was time to nurse and roll back over when they were done. When they were moving on their own and rolled into our bed, I no longer had to worry about the blankets and what not.

 

When I side nursed I put my bottom arm under my head or under their head if they were nursing on the other side. I would either lay my top arm on top of my side or would place my hand underneath their cheek which helped to angle them better anyway.

[katilac]

My oldest spent months sleeping on my chest, all curled up with her head between my breasts. awww!

 

She liked this position for a long time, but when she got a bit older, she would also slide to the side to be cradled in my arm.

 

Nursing on my side was pretty comfy for me, but she also nursed plenty of times from her position on my chest. I did find it pretty funny when she got big enought to lift up or yank down my shirt on her own - - it was a bit disconcerting the first few times I woke up to find her happily latched on with no help from me.

[cmarango]

We have a king sized bed and I put my baby on top of a contour pillow. This satisfied the no covers on the baby issue and it also gave my husband peace of mind that he would not accidentally roll over our baby. I don't quite remember what I did for nursing since I was half asleep when I did it, but I do know that I was very good at getting my husband to change the diaper after the baby had nursed at both sides. It is quite amazing all the things you can do when you are half asleep/half awake and then not remember anything about it the next morning.

 

Christina

[SonshineLearner]

You can use the little things that they sell in the store that are kind like a three sided box. They are about $30. I did a crib along the bed, sometimes, with the side off. I made it so that it would stay even with the bed. It worked pretty well. Recently, I have seen another kind of baby hammock that's like an Amby. It's called http://www.kanoe.us/ If I were to have another baby...I'd get one. My husband's ex wife has one and it's great!

Carrie:-)

[Kay in Cal]

Here's the trick I learned with large booKs... lie backwards to compensate for the droop :-P . I put a body pillow behind me, and recline back until my bed-side-down nipple is at the right height for the baby. Before, I always slanted my body forward when I slept. Now, even though I'm no longer breastfeeding, I'm more comfortable leaning back rather than forward.

 

My doula had to come for a visit when oldest ds was about a month old to show me how... but I would never have made it through their infancy if I couldn't sleep while nursing. Sooo much easier!

[Lovedtodeath]

 

When my babies were really really tiny I kept them higher up on the bed, so the cover only came to their bums. Of course all have been late summer/early fall, so covers were not needed until the babies were already getting bigger and able to roll over and kick off the cover and then I would angle it like others have said. At that point we slept either spooning or chest to chest until they hit the sprawling stage, Usually I have 1 arm over the baby, and the other folded under my pillow the way I like. My 1st co-slept for 1 year, the 2nd for 8 weeks (she needed her own space in a crib), the 3rd for 3 years and the 4th is coming up on 2 years. The 3 that co-slept the longest were actually my preemies. WIth the 1st I always intended to use a crib but when he was released to my hospital room out of the nicu, I could help but hold him constantly even as he slept. Turns out they did not do all the testing needed and he had severe apneas, the ped told me the only reason he did not die those first 3 days was because he had been sleeping in my arms/on my chest and every little movement, sound etc I made startled him enough to keep him breathing. I was sold after that, and paranoid. HE was on meds for 4 months to keep him breating and I kept him in my arms 24/7 for those 4 months worried he would stop breathing. After that it seemed weird to not co-sleep with my babies. As long as they were not in the nicu they were in my bed including at the hospital.

Me too! I had to sit up and hold DS in a vertical position while he slept for 3 months. He had severe reactions to immunizations and developed food allergies.

[myfunnybunch]

Where do you put the baby in bed?

I always put a bed rail on our bed. Baby slept between me and the bed rail.

 

How do you do it? Do you not use covers? Do you leave your shoulders uncovered? Are you short so you just use the bottom two-thirds of the bed anyway?

 

Baby had his/her own blanket and slept up higher on the bed. When it was time to nurse I just uncovered my top half and scootched baby down to nurse. If I was still awake I'd often scoot babe back up a little and replace the blankets, but often we'd fall asleep only half covered.

 

And how do you nurse comfortably on your side?

It was just comfortable for me. With brand-spankin'-new babes I'd sit up to nurse but that only lasted until they could latch on well on their own. I am not well-endowed, wasn't even when when I was nursing, and I think that helped. Usually I'd detach babe when he or she was done nursing and roll to my back or at least into a more comfortable position. My arm just always cradled the baby while nursing and often after.

 

I think some of it just has to do with comfort level. I was always totally comfortable with my littles right next to me in bed. It was a precious time.

 

Aw, man. My "baby" is four. This is making me miss those co-sleeping days. :crying: I am such a sap.

 

Cat

[Lovedtodeath]

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/

 

Some really good articles about the safety of co-sleeping and nursing.

[Lovedtodeath]

Logistics:

 

Lactation yoga, or side-lying nursing without getting up to switch sides by Eva Lyford, @ Nursing Laying Down (step-by-step description with photos) from Mother-to-Mother.com

[Donna]

I put the baby on my side of the bed and had a mesh bed rail to keep them from falling out. I nursed on my side and the baby slept between us when I switched sides. We have a king-size bed so there was plenty of room. I am a light sleeper by nature. I kept the covers off the baby but on me.

[Sandy in Indy]

I was never successful at nursing while lying down...unfortunately. I always had to get up and sit in a chair. It made for some very l o n g nights.

 

I did, however, co-sleep with my last for five years. We put a twin mattress beside our queen bed. DH slept on the twin and ds slept in the "middle." Most of the time I had to sleep on my left side to keep him happy. Even at 4 and 5 he had to touch me to sleep.

 

If you'd asked me when my first was born if I'd consider co-sleeping, I would have said NO WAY!!! But after 4 months of no sleep, I concluded that co-sleeping--and the operative word is sleeping--was better than never sleeping!

[joannqn]

I've coslept with each of my children for approximately 2 years each. We have a summer-weight quilt so that we don't have to worry about the baby getting covered by it. That doesn't mean I don't try to keep their faces from getting covered, just that there isn't a big risk. I like sleeping a bit lower on the bed and put the baby between us a bit higher on the bed.

 

As far actual position, I'm rather top heavy (36H) and haven't had any trouble nursing while lying down. When laying on my side, I usually have to manually pull my lower breast into proper position for them to latch on. I also learned that I am so large that I can lean forward for the baby to nurse on the upper breast without having to roll over to the other side. I also learned to nurse lying on my back. I cradle the baby's head on my upper arm and, because of my size, they can reach my nipple. My 2 year old would only nurse on one side so I slept on the right side of the bad so that he could nurse on that side while he slept in the center of the bed. I prefer sleeping on my stomach so I'll roll over to my stomach as soon as the baby is done nursing. I sleep with my arm around and under the inside edge of my pillow to prevent my pillow from covering their face.

 

Like another poster mentioned, I've found that I'll notice things pertaining to the baby no matter how deeply asleep I am. I've woken up to nurse before the baby got past that beginning stages of rooting...so they've never had to cry to get my attention at night. I've noticed one child stop breathing (more than once) even though I was asleep. I've noticed my husband's rolling over causing the blanket to cover the baby's face, and adjusted it appropriately.

 

One thing about co-sleeping is that it is recommended that mom sleeps between baby and dad as fathers aren't as aware of the baby. While my husband has never rolled on a baby, he doesn't notice when he covers the baby with the blanket, so I've found this to be true. Fortunately, I'm so hypersensitive that the baby is safe, even in the middle...besides we have that lightweight quilt.

[Dawn in OH]

It was difficult for me at first because I like to sleep on my stomach, or at least on my side. But after 3 children I'm used to it, as much as one can be.

 

I sleep on the left side of the bed with the baby on my left, almost on my side, but not entirely. We have one of those attachments for children's beds to keep the baby from falling out. Since I like to be well covered, in cooler weather I have to wear something with long sleeves to bed because I don't want blankets up near the baby's head. The blanket kind of comes up over my right shoulder and down across my chest to my waist. The baby and the long sleeve shirt keep my left side warm enough usually.

 

After the baby falls asleep I generally roll over slightly more left so that I'm in a comfortable sleeping position. The only times it's been a real problem for me are those nights when the baby was teething or not feeling well and wouldn't let go!

 

I'm also a fairly light sleeper, at least when I have young children in the house, so if the baby so much as moves a centimeter I seem to be aware of it.

 

My youngest is almost 2 now and really only co-sleeps part time now. He goes to bed in his own bed and somewhere in the middle of the night he wakes up and comes to bed with me for a few hours.

[Lovedtodeath]

My seven year old will still not sleep alone. She is terrified to sleep in a separate room, and cannot sleep well in her own bed (she will take a long time to fall asleep and wake repeatedly). :(

[Mom-ninja.]

My seven year old will still not sleep alone. She is terrified to sleep in a separate room, and cannot sleep well in her own bed (she will take a long time to fall asleep and wake repeatedly). :(

 

It's ok and normal. :grouphug: I think the average age of when kids stop co-sleeping on their own is around 10ish.

 

My then 7 yr old was uber scared. I slept in his bed with him for at least 6 months. Then I stayed with him until he fell asleep. Then DH slept in the room next to ds's room. Ds knew that he could crawl in to daddy anytime he needed. Now, he's fine completely on his own at 8 yrs old. The whole process took about a year. My middle guy was not having any part of it. :tongue_smilie: He demanded his place next to me. Now, he sleeps on a mattress on the floor in our room. Except for the past three nights. He's asked to sleep with his older brother.

[Lovedtodeath]

It's ok and normal. :grouphug: I think the average age of when kids stop co-sleeping on their own is around 10ish.

 

My then 7 yr old was uber scared. The whole process took about a year. My middle guy was not having any part of it.

 

Thank you!

[Peek a Boo]

No answers here. It's the most uncomfortable thing for me.

 

dh is always bringing our little ones into bed or falling asleep with them in our bed.

I detest having even one extra person of ANY size on our King Size bed. dh sprawls out enough as it is.

After 15 years of sleeping w/ kids I still hate it.

I was soooooo happy when i found Babywise and used it w/ #5.

dh pretty much sabotaged that effort when he was home [as opposed to away for a week at a time on a trip], but the times that ds was sleeping on his own, out of my way, was The Most Restful Sleep I Have Ever Had.

 

good luck.

[wildflower]

You are doing such a great job! I cannot imagine how tiring this must be for you.

I had this great product for DD1, that may help you. I bought it at Babies-r-us, it is simply a piece of fabric with two foam wedges on each side- it is sold to keep baby from rolling around, but made me feel better that I knew where DD1 was while I slept. Eventually we gave it up, I felt more comfortable knowing that I was still very aware of her in my sleep.

With DD2, she had BAD reflux, we bought something similar in a wedge form- to raise her head. DD2 hated this, but she was so miserable anyway, she hated everything at first.

Right now DD2 is in a separate bed next to ours with a child safety railing to keep her form rolling off the side. This way I can lay next to her, nurse her down then hop in my own bed. When she was in the reflux stage I would put her in the maya wrap (no padding, just cloth) nurse her down then I could hover, lay her in the bed then open the wrap & she would be fast asleep.

With DD1 we turned the crib into the toddler bed set-up, with the mattress on the top setting. This way it was at the same height as our mattress and ddi the same nurse move as with DD2 now.

Hope something here helps you!

 

On another note-

I didn';t read all the responses, but wanted to add this if it hadn't been mentioned-

1- never sleep with baby between you and hubby.

2- never sleep with baby next to you if you've had a drink, taken a sleeping pill, anything that would make you less aware of baby.

 

3- the non-sense about co-sleeping babies and sids (from the 1970's study??? someone correct me please, it's been a while) is completely false. The study was done in a very small area, where each parent had been 'under-the-influence' at the time & each child was smothered, not sids related. The study (way too late for me to find the info tonight 11.50 pm here) was funded by a children's furniture manufacturing association....

the sids rate for co-sleeping infants is far less than crib sleeping babies, regardless of whether they sleep in the same room or not.

A baby sleeping with their parent (insert mom) regulates their breathing to mom's (see Dr Sears for more info) which is the reason for the lower sids rate (baby's just stop breathing in sids)

 

Thanks for letting me go off on my tangent...

 

I have a 7 week old, 5 lb preemie:) She spent 1 month in NICU & in that time I was inundated with "Back to Sleep!" "Crib to Sleep!" slogans, and constantly barraged with the dangers of co-sleeping. Our 1st week home, I refused to have a tiny 3 lb baby in bed with me. That week I didn't get sleep. I grew extremely depressed and stopped eating and dropped a bunch of weight. After that, I realized I needed sleep, even if it meant having the baby in bed with me. I pump breastmilk exclusively (exhausting!) and feed it to her by bottle (exhausting!) I do have to get up in the night with her in order to feed her bottle and then pump. This really cuts into my sleep time, and I'm exhausted. If I didn't have her in bed with me, I wouldn't get any sleep at all. I would prefer to have her sleep in a crib, but I learned that I have to get some sleep any way that I can. Because she's so tiny, I'm paranoid about smoothering her. We sleep in 2 positions: with my arm under her head (that way I'm always conscious of her being there), or with her on my chest (tummy side down - this really helps with her reflux). I sometimes wrap the blankets around the bottom half of both of us, or I swaddle her in a baby blanket, and then keep my blanket wrapped in a way that it is away from her. If she is on top of my chest, I wrap the blanket over top of us and tuck it underneath of me (I feel this straps her to me better so she won't roll off). My quality of sleep is terrible, but better than having the baby wake up constantly as soon as I set her down in the crib, or constantly trying to shove a pacifier in her mouth, hoping to get 5 mins of alone-time sleep.

[Ravin]

DD would sometimes be between me and the wall (we pushed the bed up against the wall for a while; king sized bed and small bedroom), between me and a bolster (to keep her from rolling off), or between DH and I (Workable because DH is a light sleeper). No matter whether she was on the side or in the middle, I'd keep my pillow under my head and away from the area right above hers; she'd sleep down with her head next to my breast; I usually slept in a T-shirt so my arms would be covered, and got used to having the sheet/blanket down at waist level, which was generally below DD's feet. She never wore blankets, and even in winter seldom a blanket sleeper; adult body heat seemed to keep her plenty warm and it doesn't get that cold here, anyway. DH and I use separate blankets, so when she'd be in the middle, our respective blankets would be tucked around us and away from her.

 

In short, she kind of got a pillow/blanket free "zone". When she was really little, I'd sleep on my side, often with her head on my arm. As she got bigger, I was able to shift to my back and she'd just snuggle up against my side (or, as she got bigger and wasn't wanting to nurse ALL night, against DH's side). Once she hit about a year she developed a propensity for sleeping sideways, head towards me. Eventually DH had enough of the kicking, and we worked her out of our bed and onto a mat on the floor beside it for much of the night, or DH slept on the couch.

 

Our family situation has changed somewhat, so with the next little one, I want to put a twin bed in next to the king sized bed. I'll sleep with the baby and eventually he/she will get used to sleeping alone in a bed, which can then be moved in to another room. Hopefully, this will keep anyone from being crowded out of bed!

[Lovedtodeath]

Wee Pip: You are doing such a great job! I cannot imagine how tiring this must be for you. I agree! :grouphug:

 

When she was in the reflux stage I would put her in the maya wrap (no padding, just cloth) I had a ring sling! nurse her down then I could hover, lay her in the bed then open the wrap & she would be fast asleep.

 

3- the non-sense about co-sleeping babies and sids (from the 1970's study??? someone correct me please, it's been a while) is completely false. The study was done in a very small area, where each parent had been 'under-the-influence' at the time & each child was smothered, not sids related. The study (way too late for me to find the info tonight 11.50 pm here) was funded by a children's furniture manufacturing association....

the sids rate for co-sleeping infants is far less than crib sleeping babies, regardless of whether they sleep in the same room or not. :iagree:I posted a link with similar information, and studies that back up the following:

A baby sleeping with their parent (insert mom) regulates their breathing to mom's (see Dr Sears for more info) which is the reason for the lower sids rate (baby's just stop breathing in sids)

My son really liked the baby bjorn baby sitter 1-2-3. It keeps them angled up and snug... like an amby bed but less expensive. It was the only way he slept out of my arms for a good while. He either couldn't breath or didn't feel safe and snug otherwise. I will send it to you if you want to give it a try. I was just cleaning out our closet under the stairs thinking that it is time to let it go.