I feel like crying.

[Miss Peregrine]

Dd texted me from the high school and said a lid walked into the library and she could smell his BO immediately, across the room.

 

Just thinking about high school kids and how they treat each other. How some kids get teased relentlessly. How hard high school can be. :( Ok. I have tears in my eyes.

 

Anyone else ever get like this?

[Laura Corin]

A lid?

[Evergreen State Sue]

Dd texted me from the high school and said a lid walked into the library and she could smell his BO immediately, across the room.

 

Just thinking about high school kids and how they treat each other. How some kids get teased relentlessly. How hard high school can be. :( Ok. I have tears in my eyes.

 

Anyone else ever get like this?

 

Who or what is a "lid"?  You used a male pronoun, but I'm clueless. 

 

[regentrude]

do you mean a Kid?

[Pippen]

A kid, maybe.

[MomatHWTK]

kid 

[Evergreen State Sue]

Ok, I'm guessing you meant to type "kid" - am I right?

[Insertcreativenamehere]

A kid?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Guest]

I hate to say it but some kids DO really stink - I was one of them :o. For me it's pretty much industrial strength deodorant or bust.

 

If she just told him quietly that's not the worst - I kind of hope she was polite enough to say something because he might not realize it's so obvious to those around him, we get numb to our own stank ;)

[SparklyUnicorn]

Oh I get on my kids for this.  They hate when I say something to them, but I tell them they'd rather hear it gently from me than be picked on by jerks.

 

 

[Scarlett]

Dd texted me from the high school and said a lid walked into the library and she could smell his BO immediately, across the room.

 

Just thinking about high school kids and how they treat each other. How some kids get teased relentlessly. How hard high school can be. :( Ok. I have tears in my eyes.

 

Anyone else ever get like this?

 

 

Ugh.  That is terrible. So sorry.

[nd293]

Oh I get on my kids for this. They hate when I say something to them, but I tell them they'd rather hear it gently from me than be picked on by jerks.

I had to get beyond gentle with dd, but again, best she got the message from me. It's really tough for some kids, though. Without an involved parent dd would not have been able to manage this. The 'industrial strength' antiperspirants from the supermarket were still not enough. I researched for her and found a once-a-week type from the pharmacy she uses that stings terribly, but does work. And then of course all her tops had to be replaced. For a kid who doesn't have support it must be impossible. It is sad.

[Miss Peregrine]

Omgosh, yes, a kid. Lol. I was on my phone. 😳

[Miss Peregrine]

I'm thinking she meant "kid". I think so, anyway.

That breaks my heart. Any chance this was just after sports practice or PE where maybe he wasn't the only one who is smelly?

No. Early. :(

[SparklyUnicorn]

I had to get beyond gentle with dd, but again, best she got the message from me. It's really tough for some kids, though. Without an involved parent dd would not have been able to manage this. The 'industrial strength' antiperspirants from the supermarket were still not enough. I researched for her and found a once-a-week type from the pharmacy she uses that stings terribly, but does work. And then of course all her tops had to be replaced. For a kid who doesn't have support it must be impossible. It is sad.

 

Well gentle relatively speaking.  "Put on deodorant you stink!"  When nobody is around is way better than being taunted, teased, talked about, etc.

[fraidycat]

Oh I get on my kids for this. They hate when I say something to them, but I tell them they'd rather hear it gently from me than be picked on by jerks.

This.

 

Sometimes I do have to be a bit of a jerk. As in "You are NOT leaving this house until you shower and put deodorant on! It is rude to stink in the vicinity of other people's noses if you can help it and a shower will help it."

[Scarlett]

No. Early. :(

 

 

I totally mis read the first post.

 

LOL....I thought a girl walked in and told your ds he smelled

 

So disregard all I wrote.

Edited October 25, 2016 by Scarlett

[TammyS]

 

Anyone else ever get like this?

 

Sometimes I get like that.  It's usually PMS.

 

I'm honestly not sure which side you are lamenting, though.  Your child, who texted about a stinky person, and you are lamenting that she had uncharitable thoughts that she shared with you?  Or the stinky person, who was rude and fouled up the air that others had to breathe?  I could see this going either way.

[MEmama]

Sometimes I get like that. It's usually PMS.

 

I'm honestly not sure which side you are lamenting, though. Your child, who texted about a stinky person, and you are lamenting that she had uncharitable thoughts that she shared with you? Or the stinky person, who was rude and fouled up the air that others had to breathe? I could see this going either way.

I'm confused too. She texted you that he was stinky, she didn't yell it out to the whole library, right? I'm not sure what's so terrible about that. Should she not have confided in you? I'd be glad she didn't tell her friends, where it might get back to the poor kid. How is any of this mean?

[SparklyUnicorn]

I wondered the same thing. 

 

Maybe it's not so bad.  I think we've all had these moments.  Doesn't mean we weren't aware (or that anyone picked on us over it). 

[Miss Peregrine]

Sometimes I get like that.  It's usually PMS.

 

I'm honestly not sure which side you are lamenting, though.  Your child, who texted about a stinky person, and you are lamenting that she had uncharitable thoughts that she shared with you?  Or the stinky person, who was rude and fouled up the air that others had to breathe?  I could see this going either way.

PMS. LOL, I thought about that.

 

Im sad that he smells so badly and will probably get teased. My dd left the library because of it.

[Miss Peregrine]

I'm confused too. She texted you that he was stinky, she didn't yell it out to the whole library, right? I'm not sure what's so terrible about that. Should she not have confided in you? I'd be glad she didn't tell her friends, where it might get back to the poor kid. How is any of this mean?

I'm sad for him and all the kids like him at that school, any school. I'm just really emotional about it for some reason. :)

[Katy]

I once cried for the family of someone I didn't know when we pulled over for a funeral procession on a country road.  I don't think I've ever gotten through a folger's commercial without tearing up.   Kids can be mean, but chances are in this case this child's family life is worse.  I'd call the school counselor.

[MEmama]

I'm sad for him and all the kids like him at that school, any school. I'm just really emotional about it for some reason. :)

Yeah, being a teenager sucks. It's surprisingly hard to get over, at least it was for me.

 

I'm sorry you are feeling emotional! :(

[natalie]

I once cried for the family of someone I didn't know when we pulled over for a funeral procession on a country road.  I don't think I've ever gotten through a folger's commercial without tearing up.   Kids can be mean, but chances are in this case this child's family life is worse.  I'd call the school counselor.

 

 

Why on earth would someone call to report something like this to the school counselor?  Why does having B.O. mean this child's family life is awful?

 

It's a teenage boy.  They stink (something terrible sometimes).  

 

My boys stink at times.  I guarantee you we don't need to be reported to someone for their terrible family life.  During puberty, particularly around a growth spurt, they just stink more than usual.  In our family we refer to these as the "stinky years".  They shower regularly, but their hormones are out of whack and they are active.  They get stinky, they shower, they smell better ... rinse and repeat.

 

Maybe the boy was in a hurry and forgot deodorant that day, not realizing until it was too late.  Maybe someone in the family used the last of the deodorant and forgot to let the shopper of the family know. Maybe the boy just got out of gym class.  Maybe he worked out in the weight room before school.  

 

So many maybes.  Why exactly is it being suggested that his life is awful and that people in positions of authority be notified?  One stinky boy, one stinky day.  I don't think so.

 

Sorry to sound so cranky, but these kinds of assumptions are both silly and sad to me.  Probably more so than one stinky teenage boy on one day.

[Reefgazer]

I had a similar situation present itself to me in high school.  There was a very nice girl name Debbie in high school who befriended me, and I liked being her friend - she was a wonderful girl.  But OMG, the BO!  It was hard to eat lunch at the same table as her because it was so nauseating.  And of course, I got teased by my own friends for being friends with her.  I happened to mention this to my cousin, who was a teacher at that high school.  She offered to mention it to the school nurse, who had a talk with her about hygiene, and one day, the BO was gone.  I would have never thought as that avenue to resolve the issue, but it worked perfectly and likely saved this girl from relentless teasing.  Maybe DD can approach the school nurse about it and ask if the nurse can speak with the student; it really would be doing the student a favor, IMO.

Edited October 26, 2016 by reefgazer

[Reefgazer]

In the case of my high school friend, above, it was not her personal body that stank, but her clothes and home environment were not being kept clean because she lived in a high-poverty home where getting to a Laundromat and having the money to launder clothes was an issue.

I had to get beyond gentle with dd, but again, best she got the message from me. It's really tough for some kids, though. Without an involved parent dd would not have been able to manage this. The 'industrial strength' antiperspirants from the supermarket were still not enough. I researched for her and found a once-a-week type from the pharmacy she uses that stings terribly, but does work. And then of course all her tops had to be replaced. For a kid who doesn't have support it must be impossible. It is sad.

 

Edited October 26, 2016 by reefgazer

[Reefgazer]

Because a school counselor can teach him about hygiene if he is unaware, or can help the family maintain clean clothes/ access soap if that is the problem.  It would save this kid 4 years of teasing hell if someone clued him in early.

Why on earth would someone call to report something like this to the school counselor?  Why does having B.O. mean this child's family life is awful?

 

It's a teenage boy.  They stink (something terrible sometimes).  

 

My boys stink at times.  I guarantee you we don't need to be reported to someone for their terrible family life.  During puberty, particularly around a growth spurt, they just stink more than usual.  In our family we refer to these as the "stinky years".  They shower regularly, but their hormones are out of whack and they are active.  They get stinky, they shower, they smell better ... rinse and repeat.

 

Maybe the boy was in a hurry and forgot deodorant that day, not realizing until it was too late.  Maybe someone in the family used the last of the deodorant and forgot to let the shopper of the family know. Maybe the boy just got out of gym class.  Maybe he worked out in the weight room before school.  

 

So many maybes.  Why exactly is it being suggested that his life is awful and that people in positions of authority be notified?  One stinky boy, one stinky day.  I don't think so.

 

Sorry to sound so cranky, but these kinds of assumptions are both silly and sad to me.  Probably more so than one stinky teenage boy on one day.

 

[eternalsummer]

When I was growing up my parents smoked (chain-smoked, really) in the house.  For 18 years.  So I smelled.  I had no idea - I did think there was something weird going on in that when I took a shower at a friend's house, my clothes afterward smelled weird.  I didn't put it together with the smoking until I'd moved out (and then started smelling stale smoke on other people).  I must have *reeked*.

 

The thing is, if someone had said this to me outright at some point, what would I have done?

 

It does suck for the boy, but hopefully he has other great traits that make up for his BO, so it is mitigated somewhat.  I still had friends.  I was not cool, but I had friends.

[bettyandbob]

Why on earth would someone call to report something like this to the school counselor? Why does having B.O. mean this child's family life is awful?

 

It's a teenage boy. They stink (something terrible sometimes).

 

My boys stink at times. I guarantee you we don't need to be reported to someone for their terrible family life. During puberty, particularly around a growth spurt, they just stink more than usual. In our family we refer to these as the "stinky years". They shower regularly, but their hormones are out of whack and they are active. They get stinky, they shower, they smell better ... rinse and repeat.

 

Maybe the boy was in a hurry and forgot deodorant that day, not realizing until it was too late. Maybe someone in the family used the last of the deodorant and forgot to let the shopper of the family know. Maybe the boy just got out of gym class. Maybe he worked out in the weight room before school.

 

So many maybes. Why exactly is it being suggested that his life is awful and that people in positions of authority be notified? One stinky boy, one stinky day. I don't think so.

 

Sorry to sound so cranky, but these kinds of assumptions are both silly and sad to me. Probably more so than one stinky teenage boy on one day.

1. Home life may actually be the problem. Not necessarily abuse, there could be financial issues. Sometimes a good counselor can do creative things to help, like find a time for the student to use school showers privately and/or figure out when he can get his laundry done.

 

OR

 

2. The student may be a very stubborn, quirky kid who needs to hear from someone other than his parents. His parents may have been telling him for months. There's only so much you can do to adult sized teens who refuse to do something. So an adult who is unrelated may be just what the student needs.

 

I've BTDT with a teen who refused to shower or where deodorant. He had to hear it from someone else. It was part of the adventure (extreme pain) I experienced in raising a 2E child. Not all 2E kids have this issue, but I have met some other families who went through similar.

[Sneezyone]

When I taught in college we had a middle school boy like this in our bridge program. He was being teased and wasn't telling his mom. Maybe he didn't think she could or would do anything but she was obviously making an effort to get him to and from the program each day. We, gently, had to discuss this during the parent-teacher conference and, lo and behold, she fixed it. I'm not sure what resources she drew on, but she fixed this for him and he went on to have a great summer. Counselors do this all the time for students, either finding clean clothes, hygiene supplies, or providing an opportunity for students to use school facilities before/after school.

Edited October 26, 2016 by Sneezyone

[natalie]

Because a school counselor can teach him about hygiene if he is unaware, or can help the family maintain clean clothes/ access soap if that is the problem.  It would save this kid 4 years of teasing hell if someone clued him in early.

1. Home life may actually be the problem. Not necessarily abuse, there could be financial issues. Sometimes a good counselor can do creative things to help, like find a time for the student to use school showers privately and/or figure out when he can get his laundry done.

OR

2. The student may be a very stubborn, quirky kid who needs to hear from someone other than his parents. His parents may have been telling him for months. There's only so much you can do to adult sized teens who refuse to do something. So an adult who is unrelated may be just what the student needs.

I've BTDT with a teen who refused to shower or where deodorant. He had to hear it from someone else. It was part of the adventure (extreme pain) I experienced in raising a 2E child. Not all 2E kids have this issue, but I have met some other families who went through similar.

 

Unless I misread the post, she has smelled this boy exactly once.

 

Not twice.

 

Not daily.

 

ONCE!

 

 

I have one ds in public school. He has been known to be quite smelly on more than one occasion. Left the house smelling great and come home rather ripe. It happens. Shucks, I've forgotten deodorant before and not realized it until it was too late. That doesn't mean I need help. It happens. Do you realize how many counselors and nurses would be needed if they were called in every time a teenage boy was smelly?

 

Sure, he could be unaware, poor, stubborn, etc. I get that. I'm not clueless as to possible problems. I've dealt with the stubborn, quirky, bigger than me kid who is not only oblivious, but frankly doesn't care. I grew up poor. However, this particular boy, in this particular post, has been smelled by her ONE time.

 

 

Before we make it into a problem that needs solving and interventions, how about waiting until it happens more than ONCE!

Edited October 26, 2016 by natalie

[Guest]

I do cry occasionally about strangers I perceive to be in a bad way like the OP, but some random teenager that stinks REALLY doesn't do it for me.

 

I know a grown man with two kids and a wife who stopped doing his laundry...he reeked for months because he didn't realize that his stank was settling into the pits of his shirts (ah-gaross, btw!)  and he needed to treat them. On top of that he kept letting his clothes get mildewy in the washing machine. He was a perfectly competent adult with a perfectly A-OK home life who smelled terrible for a while.

 

It has also been my experience that a lot of people bend over backward to be polite to people with really super obvious problems. We had a kid in school with atrocious halitosis. People made it a POINT to be kind to him and not shun him in any way, assuming (from the scale of it) that he couldn't help it. I went to school with extremely normal kids, they weren't like angels from heaven or anything lol.

 

And aside from that, sometimes people just have a day. A smelly smelly day. Jumping to the conclusion that this dude has a bad home life and no friends is a long stretch!

[Guest]

Also as a former poor person...chill with the assumptions, k?

[bettyandbob]

Also as a former poor person...chill with the assumptions, k?

My local high school has 2400 students. Not all guidance counselors can be counted on to take note of personal stuff. However there are certainly a few who do.

 

Here is what I would expect to come out if alerting guidance counselor who is good at his job. I would think he'd check in with the student a few times without noting the issue to the student. This can be small as saying hello in the hall between classes, while saying hello to several others. If at that point the counselor notices a pattern, he could then figure out a course of action to respond with empathy.

 

No one said have the counselor pull the student out of class immediately and interrogate, without figuring if there's a pattern or getting to know the student. I don't believe even a mildly bad counselor would do that.

 

There's nothing wrong with alerting an adult who may be in a position to help and is supposed to have the skills to evaluate the situation.

[Guest]

My local high school has 2400 students. Not all guidance counselors can be counted on to take note of personal stuff. However there are certainly a few who do.

 

Here is what I would expect to come out if alerting guidance counselor who is good at his job. I would think he'd check in with the student a few times without noting the issue to the student. This can be small as saying hello in the hall between classes, while saying hello to several others. If at that point the counselor notices a pattern, he could then figure out a course of action to respond with empathy.

 

No one said have the counselor pull the student out of class immediately and interrogate, without figuring if there's a pattern or getting to know the student. I don't believe even a mildly bad counselor would do that.

 

There's nothing wrong with alerting an adult who may be in a position to help and is supposed to have the skills to evaluate the situation.

 

I don't understand why you directed this at me. I said nothing about guidance counselors.

 

Are you suggesting that having ONE hint that MIGHT point to the idea that a child COULD BE poor warrants a call to a guidance counselor?  Without proof of anything whatsoever? Cause that's a weird way to go through life (because people are allowed to be poor, yanno?), if that is indeed what you're saying. But, again, I'm grasping at straws, having no idea why you're telling me what a good guidance counselor can do.

 

Let's put it this way...how about someone said "I smelt a smelly!" and someone else was like "OH they might be from XYZ country!" as if all people who smell are from that country OR as if all people from that country smell. You take my point, I'm sure.

 

Conflating smelliness with poverty in a country in which most poor homes DO indeed have running water and soap is....not wicked smaht.

 

OTOH, let's pretend this poor kid in fact does NOT have running water at home, so degraded is his situation. But he has heretofore escaped the notice of the faculty...no serious behavior problems, does OK in academics, doesn't miss too much school etc... Let's give him a medal (and a scholarship), not worry overmuch about smelling bad ONE TIME, which can happen to anyone!

 

As to alerting an adult who may be in a position to help having no harm, I'm gonna disagree with you there. Have you ever been "helped" when you didn't need nor want the help? It's the opposite of help. Jumping to report every little thing (RECALL that we are discussing a teenage dude who smelled bad one time!) is...uh something I think is not great.

 

Just putting it out in the world that poor folks smell bad at the same rate as wealthy folks, K. That's what I'm doing. He's not a freaking train hopping hobo. He's a teenager in high school.

Edited October 26, 2016 by OKBud

[bettyandbob]

I don't understand why you directed this at me. I said nothing about guidance counselors.

 

Are you suggesting that having ONE hint that MIGHT point to the idea that a child COULD BE poor warrants a call to a guidance counselor? Without proof of anything whatsoever? Cause that's a weird way to go through life (because people are allowed to be poor, yanno?), if that is indeed what you're saying. But, again, I'm grasping at straws, having no idea why you're telling me what a good guidance counselor can do.

 

Let's put it this way...how about someone said "I smelt a smelly!" and someone else was like "OH they might be from XYZ country!" as if all people who smell are from that country OR as if all people from that country smell. You take my point, I'm sure.

 

Conflating smelliness with poverty in a country in which most poor homes DO indeed have running water and soap is....not wicked smaht.

 

OTOH, let's pretend this poor kid in fact does NOT have running water at home, so degraded is his situation. But he has heretofore escaped the notice of the faculty...no serious behavior problems, does OK in academics, doesn't miss too much school etc... Let's give him a medal (and a scholarship), not worry overmuch about smelling bad ONE TIME, which can happen to anyone!

 

As to alerting an adult who may be in a position to help having no harm, I'm gonna disagree with you there. Have you ever been "helped" when you didn't need nor want the help? It's the opposite of help. Jumping to report every little thing (RECALL that we are discussing a teenage dude who smelled bad one time!) is...uh something I think is not great.

 

Just putting it out in the world that poor folks smell bad at the same rate as wealthy folks, K. That's what I'm doing. He's not a freaking train hopping hobo. He's a teenager in high school.

I'm was saying in general for a student who observes something he or she doesn't think is right, but doesn't know the issue or even if there's an issue she could tell tge guidance counselor. They are the adults who are supposed to be able to evaluate if there is an issue and they are supposed to be trained in knowing what to do.

 

Some kids notice stuff and want to help, but don't know if they should. For those students who want to help the guidance counselor should be able to evaluate. The guidance counselor can determine if "help" is actually needed and should be able to be discrete.

 

And I personally would not assume poor, based on my experience.

[Sneezyone]

If by HS my son is putting out BO so bad on ANY day that folks can smell him across the room, I don't care who gently talks to him or what assumptions they make as long as he fixes the issue.

Edited October 26, 2016 by Sneezyone

[SKL]

About BO, my kid started being stinky at 4yo so we are used to deodorant.  I still say, "don't forget to wash and put on deodorant, or you'll be stinky at school."  I say it a lot.  (My kid takes forever to form a habit.)  Being girls, I think they understand why they don't *want* to be stinky at school, but that doesn't mean they always remember hygiene.  :P

 

About that sad feeling - yes, I am always thinking what to say to my kids so they are part of the solution and not the problem for sad and bullied kids.  I work on this a lot, and still, I notice that my kids go with the flow when it comes to unpopular kids.  Recently I noticed that my kid wrote on the faces of the 3 "unpopular" classmates in last year's yearbook.  I have talked to them so many times about fighting bullying and uplifting those who have social troubles in school.  I no longer believe parents have much ability to determine if their kids will be kind or assholes.  :/

[Katy]

This isn't about YOUR kid. And no counselor is going to approach a stinky boy on the very first report.  They will likely check with teachers, or make a point to walk past him themselves several times before doing anything.  And when they do, it will be in a sensitive way.

 

Also, in many cases the first sign of parental neglect and abuse is lack of hygiene.  If the family doesn't have resources, the counselor can help.  If the child is being abused, many times a school counselor pulling a child in to check on him will make it very clear if:

• the family's financial situation is so tenuous the boy ran out of deodorant, and some of the supplies dontated through the local school supply drive should go to this boy,
• this is a lazy or forgetful kid who just didn't apply the deodorant he has at home,
• if it's a medical issue where there is not much to be done,
• if deodorant was the last thing on that child's mind that morning because he was concerned with getting to school before his mom's drug-addicted violent boyfriend woke up and made him a target again, or
• if he came in to school early to use the weight room at 6, and after his workout went to the library without showering properly. 

Most school counselors have ample training and instincts to figure out which, if any, of these situations if the source of the problem, and to help the student solve it.

 

 

Unless I misread the post, she has smelled this boy exactly once.

Not twice.

Not daily.

ONCE!


I have one ds in public school. He has been known to be quite smelly on more than one occasion. Left the house smelling great and come home rather ripe. It happens. Shucks, I've forgotten deodorant before and not realized it until it was too late. That doesn't mean I need help. It happens. Do you realize how many counselors and nurses would be needed if they were called in every time a teenage boy was smelly?

Sure, he could be unaware, poor, stubborn, etc. I get that. I'm not clueless as to possible problems. I've dealt with the stubborn, quirky, bigger than me kid who is not only oblivious, but frankly doesn't care. I grew up poor. However, this particular boy, in this particular post, has been smelled by her ONE time.


Before we make it into a problem that needs solving and interventions, how about waiting until it happens more than ONCE!

 

Edited October 26, 2016 by Katy

[Guest]

""Also, in many cases the first sign of parental neglect and abuse is lack of hygiene. ""

 

That is not true of teenagers.

[maize]

""Also, in many cases the first sign of parental neglect and abuse is lack of hygiene. ""

 

That is not true of teenagers.

Even with younger kids...

 

My 8 year old's hair is a rat's nest most of the time because she a) has a hypersensitive scalp and can't stand brushing, and b) would be extremely traumatized if I forced her to cut it short.

 

I've put more time and effort into dealing with this issue with her than I put into the other 5 kids' hair combined. It's only really going to change though when it matters to her to change it.

 

We can't forget that kids are individuals and that parents are not all powerful.

Edited October 26, 2016 by maize

[SKL]

This thread reminds me that I had a brother who not only forgot about deodorant, but refused to take off his leather jacket for months at a time.  He also forgot to zip his fly or tuck in his shirt after using the bathroom.  If my mom didn't catch him on the way out the door, he went to school without combing his hair.

 

Between that and other behaviors, I'm pretty sure he had undiagnosed ASD.

 

That's not to say his 5 siblings didn't have times when we were stinky, but there's stinky and there's ....  :P

 

He went into the military, where he learned to never forget his deodorant and a few other things.  :P

[redsquirrel]

Why on earth would someone call to report something like this to the school counselor?  Why does having B.O. mean this child's family life is awful?

 

It's a teenage boy.  They stink (something terrible sometimes).  

 

My boys stink at times.  I guarantee you we don't need to be reported to someone for their terrible family life.  During puberty, particularly around a growth spurt, they just stink more than usual.  In our family we refer to these as the "stinky years".  They shower regularly, but their hormones are out of whack and they are active.  They get stinky, they shower, they smell better ... rinse and repeat.

 

Maybe the boy was in a hurry and forgot deodorant that day, not realizing until it was too late.  Maybe someone in the family used the last of the deodorant and forgot to let the shopper of the family know. Maybe the boy just got out of gym class.  Maybe he worked out in the weight room before school.  

 

So many maybes.  Why exactly is it being suggested that his life is awful and that people in positions of authority be notified?  One stinky boy, one stinky day.  I don't think so.

 

Sorry to sound so cranky, but these kinds of assumptions are both silly and sad to me.  Probably more so than one stinky teenage boy on one day.

 

If he smells so strongly that she had to leave the library it's not just an issue of 'he needs a shower after gym'.  Schools do pay attention to personal hygiene because it is a pretty good indicator of a family in trouble. If a family can't afford a washing machine or their car is broken and they can't get to the laundromat, then the clothes go unwashed and the kids start to stink.  It can also be a sign of depression and very often neglect.  There is a reason that many parents, not all of course, try to make sure their children are clean and presentable even when we can't manage it for ourselves.  If the kids are dirty and stinky then it is a strong sign that other things in the house are being neglected. If no one is making sure he's clean is he also not getting fed? It also effects their social development. "The stinky kid" is the ostracized kid, the bullied kid. It can make a kid start skipping school and cause academic problems.

 

Schools are very used to dealing with such things. If it was a once off thing and she mentioned it to a school councilor or a school nurse then there wouldn't be much attention paid to it at all. But, if it is a kid who is known to be struggling with other issues then it can alert them that someone needs to take a closer look.

 

I worked with one family whose lack of personal hygiene was spectacular. It was the least of their issues, but so foundational and symbolic of the complete chaos of their lives. One of the many family pets had given birth in the son's room on the floor and was raising a litter of puppies on his bedroom floor. No one had cleaned up the puppy poop and pee all over his floor..and his clothes were on the floor also covered with poop and pee. He was just getting dressed and going to school like that, those were his clothes and that was his life.

[Miss Peregrine]

Aw, redsquirrel, that makes me so sad. One of my kids came from a similar situation. :(

Edited October 26, 2016 by Miss Peregrine