How do you declutter when you do not know what stuff is? And you are the size of a whale

[Elisabet1]

A couple weeks ago, I accidentally threw away expensive brand new viola strings. Now I am back to being scared of decluttering.

 

This is how it goes.

 

Today, I worked to lower myself to the ground. Once there, I look at what is around me. 1 bathtub boat, 1 Bakugon card, 2 pieces to a monopoly game, 2 viola shoulder rests (yes, she was a royal slob and we are still finding her stuff around the house), a little people, etc. I pick up 1 thing. Then I get on all fours and try to work my way to standing. Then I walk to the closet and put the Bakugon card away. I go back, and work my way down, get the bathtub boat. I work my way up and take the toy to the bathtub.

 

It is going to take an hour to put away 10 items. I am hating this. The only other option is to just throw everything away, knowing we will lose parts to games and everything else. How would you handle all this? 

 

If I sound angry and flustered, I am. My back hurts, my hips hurt, I can barely sleep. I eat two bites and feel full, only to be starved 30 minutes later. I know..this is all a part of pregnancy. But I am nesting too!!! How can one nest but have the circumference of a whale and still get anything done?

 

edited to add: I need a whine and cheese club

[Night Elf]

How about having a box nearby you to put things into. Then when you get up, work from the box while it's sitting on something high enough so that you aren't having to bend over.

 

I can't say anything about nesting. I didn't experience it with any of my pregnancies.

[Elisabet1]

How about having a box nearby you to put things into. Then when you get up, work from the box while it's sitting on something high enough so that you aren't having to bend over.

 

I can't say anything about nesting. I didn't experience it with any of my pregnancies.

That makes so much sense actually. My brain must be dying here that I did not even try it already. Thanks!

[Tanaqui]

My family has hoarding tendencies. I've done this more times than I care to count. To be honest, if I don't know exactly where something goes, or if there are little pieces that are probably all lost, or if nobody is likely to notice, I toss it. I can always get a new Monopoly off of ebay. I can always get a new bathtub boat. I can even get those new expensive viola strings again. I can't get back hours of my life.

 

But it sounds like you know where most of these things go and don't want to do that. I don't want you bending down and getting up either, what a lot of stress! Bring with you two boxes, maaaaaaybe three. One for things you're keeping, one for things you're throwing out, and the third would be for freecycle. Don't stand up until you've either cleared your little patch of floor OR filled one of the boxes.

[mom2samlibby]

I'd get a box and throw it all in the box.  Gather the family around the table, bring the box, tell them if they see anything that belongs to them in the box, they need to put it away.  If the box isn't cleaned out in a half hour or so, toss the contents.

[Elisabet1]

My family has hoarding tendencies. I've done this more times than I care to count. To be honest, if I don't know exactly where something goes, or if there are little pieces that are probably all lost, or if nobody is likely to notice, I toss it. I can always get a new Monopoly off of ebay. I can always get a new bathtub boat. I can even get those new expensive viola strings again. I can't get back hours of my life.

 

But it sounds like you know where most of these things go and don't want to do that. I don't want you bending down and getting up either, what a lot of stress! Bring with you two boxes, maaaaaaybe three. One for things you're keeping, one for things you're throwing out, and the third would be for freecycle. Don't stand up until you've either cleared your little patch of floor OR filled one of the boxes.

There was a small metal fish, that is not from monopoly, a play ticket for the Titanic, pieces of string that looks official, like they came off something, plaster corners that look like they slide on to something, that sort of thing. Do you toss those? I am thinking I just should. Little wheels to things..are they broken? Or do they go to some sort of set like Lego, K'nex, or any of the other sets? That sort of thing.

[Ravin]

I throw all in box. Then, I put away DS's stuff, ore have him help me. Anything I know is DD's goes in a box for her to put away. Anything that belongs to another adult or is a mystery item goes into a third box. My things and household things get put away, and garbage is thrown away.

[Ravin]

There was a small metal fish, that is not from monopoly, a play ticket for the Titanic, pieces of string that looks official, like they came off something, plaster corners that look like they slide on to something, that sort of thing. Do you toss those? I am thinking I just should. Little wheels to things..are they broken? Or do they go to some sort of set like Lego, K'nex, or any of the other sets? That sort of thing.

If no one can identify it, throw it out.

[Tammi K]

Grab a box. Grab a few kids who are not likely to be distracted by the treasures they discover. Put box in middle of room. Say, "Ready, set, go!" and have kids start putting stuff in box. Have someone not carrying a large boulder in their abdomen carry box to table top. Sit in comfortable chair and sort away.

 

I use the UPS central hub system.  All lose and out of place items get placed in a central area and I sort from there.

[Garga]

What the others have said. Don't get up and down. Use boxes or bags if you don't have boxes. Four of them: Trash, give away, put away, ask family.

 

Show the "ask family" box/bag to the family. Everyone pulls out what they know is something. They put the things away. If some of the things are for a later project (like a part for a repair), keep those things in the box/bag and then put the box/bag in an out of the way place (attic, garage.) When someone is ready to work on the project/repair, they'll know where to find the parts.

[KungFuPanda]

Expect to throw away something that someone will want later. Just KNOW it will happen. The occasional missed item is NOT worth storing a crap-ton of stuff. Real estate is more valuable than junk. Toss mercilessly and just know that three years later you 'may' re-buy something. A clean house is worth that small risk.

 

I like the box idea too. Anyone old enough to play a viola is old enough to organize their own stuff. Tell your family that everything in the box is getting tossed. If they want to keep anything they must find/create a sensible, long-term home for it.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

If your pregnancy pain is of the sciatic nerve kind and you are sooooo not bending over or sitting on the floor (BTDT) a variation on the box plan is to grab a rake and rake it all to a single pile in the middle of the floor. Let the people know that they have until after dinner to claim their stuff, and then after dinner have somebody who can bend over put the remainder in a trash bag and carry it to the curb.

 

I have no pity for anyone over the age of 10 in these processes. Harden your heart.

[Tanaqui]

There was a small metal fish, that is not from monopoly, a play ticket for the Titanic, pieces of string that looks official, like they came off something, plaster corners that look like they slide on to something, that sort of thing. Do you toss those? I am thinking I just should. Little wheels to things..are they broken? Or do they go to some sort of set like Lego, K'nex, or any of the other sets? That sort of thing.

 

I would toss ALL that stuff. You don't know where it comes from, and obviously whoever left it there doesn't care about it, or else it wouldn't be in the middle of the floor and you wouldn't have to clean it up.

 

Alternatively, you can use the method mentioned upthread - stick it in a box, set a deadline, and tell people that whatever isn't put away - away means AWAY, not just squirreled in some closet or drawer, because that's just moving the mess - by the deadline is getting tossed, no mercy.

[KungFuPanda]

You should buy one of those grabber things. They come in handy more than you'd think.

[JustEm]

I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant. When I park my butt on the floor to do what you're doing I require the kids to put the stuff away. So I pick up some Lego's and hand them to ds to put away. While he's doing that I gather another few things that go in the same general area and them give him directions on where they go. When I don't have their help I make piles depending on the room they belong in. Once the floor is picked up I either leave the piles for someone else to put away or go one pile at a time

[PrairieSong]

You need to do the FedEx system of sorting. FedEx ships all their packages to a hub and sorts them there. You can establish a hub..like sitting on a bed with boxes near you, and a trash can or trash bag. Let the kids do the footwork. They bring you stuff off the floor and you sort. You might have boxes for put away and give away, maybe a box for stuff that belongs to someone else. After stuff is sorted, let your family help put it away. Any giveaway stuff goes directly into the car.

 

I would throw out the little miscellaneous pieces if no one can identify them. If they can then THEY put them away.

 

Take it easy, Mama!

[Tammyla]

I would toss as much as possible and not worry about it.  

[ZeeMommy]

From preggie mama who is also as big as a whale to another...make anyone in the house who is younger and more flexible than you grab all the stuff and put it in a big box.  If you have to, bribe them with a nickel or candy or something per item but set a timer and make them see how much they can find in 15 minutes or less.  The more they find, the more they get.  Then make them put the stuff away.  Set yourself somewhere central and encourage/holler at them while they get the job done.  I've done this plenty of times, even when not pregnant.  You didn't drop all that stuff on the floor, so they get to clean it up.  :)

 

[momto10blessings]

Have all the kids put everything into a box and they can help you go through it. If they want to keep it they can put it away. If not it can get thrown away.

[maize]

I solved the stooping/bending/getting up and down problem by getting a long handled dustpan--I sweep everything into the dust pan, lift the dust pan, put away what needs to be put away, throw away the rest, and repeat.

 

This works best if you have hard flooring, but I bet a small rake plus the dust pan would work similarly for carpet. This is really the only way I am able to handle cleaning while pregnant, but actually it makes picking up so much easier even when I am not pregnant :)

[regentrude]

Put one of the children to work to gather every item from the floor and put it in a box.

He should then bring the box to you to wherever you sit comfortably on a couch or chair, and should also bring plenty of empty boxes so you can sort from a comfortable position.

 

I don't think you should be crawling on the floor. If no child is available, ask your husband.

[HS Mom in NC]

I don't understand how someone throws away viola strings by accident.  Did you know they were viola strings when you threw them away? If you didn't know they were viola strings, how do you know you threw viola strings away? Were you throwing away boxes or bags without looking through them first and later assumed there were viola strings in them?

 

Don't get into all or nothing thinking.  Just because you once threw away something useful and expensive away doesn't mean you can't clean things out every again.  Did throwing those strings out ruin your family financially?  Create a hardship of some sort? Shatter someone's dreams? Cause a serous illness or injury? Did serious emotional or psychological harm happen as a result? Probably not.  It was bump along the road.  Shake it off and move on.  Stuff like that happens to everyone some time.

 

I don't clean out a room that way. I have the kid take every freaking thing out in every bin, laundry hamper, and box we own and place them outside the room. in the hallway or other nearby common space like out loft.  Then I have them vacuum and wipe down every single surface on every dresser, desk, ceiling fan, blinds, etc. I have them throw the bedding in the laundry.  Then I have a trash can lined with a trash bag in arm's reach next to a box/bin for donations in arm's reach.  We go through one bin/laundry hamper/box of stuff at a time. We pick up each item individually and ask, "Keep, trash or donate?" If it's "keep" the kid immediately puts it exactly where it belongs. If the kid doesn't have a place for it, I designate one.  Otherwise it's in the trash or donation bin.  I make the kid do it directly under my supervision. Once the trash is full I have the kid immediately empty it out to the large outdoor garbage bin.  We keep going until everything is put away, thrown away or in the donation bin.  Then the donation bin goes immediately to a donation facility that day or, if it's at night when we finish, first thing in the morning.

 

Most people have far too much stuff. I don't worry about getting my kids to get rid of things they're not using anymore. If no one knows what it is, if it's not particularly useful anymore, if it's not made of a precious metal,  or it's broken, it goes right into the trash. If you have a bunch of little bits 'o crap toss them in the trash without a second thought.

 

 

[Anne in CA]

The viola strings remind me of important things I have thrown away of dh's because of his hoarding tech junk. Some of it is important and expensive, even if it looks like nothing important to me. He would leave this stuff everywhere, and so I could never know what to do. I used to make big garbage bags of stuff to declutter while he was on business trips and not throw the stuff away for a few weeks.  I would keep the bags in the garage and if it turned out he needed something, we would find it, if not, eventually it went in the trash.

[Guest]

I'm thinking anyone old enough to play viola is old enough to keep his or her strings, pads, and whatever else viola-related together.

 

P.S. i don't declutter on the floor when I'm a zillion months pregnant.

[IsabelC]

We had 3 violin spare strings go unaccountably missing, so it's not impossible to do!

 

The only way I ever keep the clutter down is to be the sergeant major and boss the rest of the family around. No way could I do all the tidying up and putting away on my own. I assign a kid to pick up and tidy each communal area each day, plus each child has to take care of her/his bedroom. This means that dh and I only have to deal with our bedroom and the deeper decluttering (eg rearranging the pantry). Another thing I find very useful is that we have a pigeon-hole for each family member. So if child A is picking up the lounge and finds something belonging to child B, she can put it in her sibling's cubbyhole, thus avoiding any "Argh, she came in my room!" arguments.

[Ausmumof3]

If it makes you feel any better I threw away the string to my sons bow and arrow set. He always brings bits of string home and I thought it was just another one.

 

The thing with decluttering is sometimes you will throw some things away that you later want but overall the cost in terms of quality of life is worth so much more.

[Jasperstone]

I threw out my ds favorite teddybear (Frazer), as I thought he was over it.... and thought he didnt want it etc.... I was on a roll decluttering and now am heartbroken over it! Kicking myself at how stupid I was!!!!! Aaahhhhrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!

[Catherine]

You need Flylady:  http://www.flylady.net/c/lp.php  partly because honestly-there is a strong tone of self-pity in your post and she will address that first!  I use her decluttering method and it's very helpful.  Get containers for "give away"  "put away" and "throw away" and only work on a small area, for a defined period of time, like 15 minutes.  As soon as you finish, take the give away things to your car and drop them off the next time you are out. 

 

Be kind to yourself and enlist help.  Do a little every day. 

[IsabelC]

She is massively pregnant and feeling very uncomfortable. She's entitled to the odd moment of self pity!

[maize]

She is massively pregnant and feeling very uncomfortable. She's entitled to the odd moment of self pity!

I agree!

 

9 months pregnant over here, and don't even think about telling me not to complain about discomfort...

[Elisabet1]

I don't understand how someone throws away viola strings by accident.  Did you know they were viola strings when you threw them away? If you didn't know they were viola strings, how do you know you threw viola strings away? Were you throwing away boxes or bags without looking through them first and later assumed there were viola strings in them?

 

 

We have science kits that have wires and such in them. The string was on the ground, not in the packaging. I assumed it was from one of the science kits, which we have a lot of. It looks like just a wire. I grabbed it up and tossed it out. I pretty much ended what I was doing then. Finished off the bag with the bathroom trash and such. Took it out to the dumpster. Later, when I came back to cleaning, I found the packaging. I remembered the "wire" and then realized the strings were on the floor. Two strings were not thrown away, one still in packaging, the other had fallen out. So we still have two strings. They were in the vicinity of where  had been cleaning the day before. I still have the packaging, but not the missing strings.

[HS Mom in NC]

OK, now I get it.  So to avoid that I think the strings need to either stay in your child's case at the ready as soon as one breaks.  Now some kids can't be trusted with that so in that case it needs to be somewhere mom puts it away and gets to it as needed or in a place designated for music related stuff and nothing else.