Repeating a grade as a homeschooler

[Janie Grace]

Have you ever had a kid "repeat" a grade? I know, I know -- to many homeschoolers, grade levels are immaterial. But if you're a traditional, kid-in-the-grade-they'd-be-in homeschooler (with that child working mostly at his/her age-appropriate grade level, graduating at 17/18, etc) -- have you had a kid repeat?

 

My ds was 9 in April. He was officially in 3rd grade last year, but honestly, he's about to do a lot of 3rd grade work this year. He will start about a third of the way through TT3 (he struggled with Singapore and got behind). He will be doing Editor-in-Chief grade 3 b/c it matches his abilities. He'll be doing Essentials in Writing grade 3 (again, that's what seems to match his abilities).

 

He has dysgraphia and dyspraxia. Probably ADD as well. Figuring out how to work around and help him with his challenges has taken time, and here we are... "behind." His IQ is above average but for a lot of reasons, he struggles. He's "young" socially, too. If I were to put him into school, I really think I'd need to hold him back.

 

My very, very smart dh repeated 4th grade. He was immature and had attention issues. I'm just wondering... should I call this "3rd grade"? And if so, how in the world to I break that to my ds? OR... do I see if we can catch up this year now that he's in OT and I'm figuring out how to help him?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

If you are planning on homeschooling him all the way through, I wouldn't tell him he's repeating 3rd grade. If you plan to send him to school eventually, then maybe tell him when the time comes if you think he needs to go into a grade that is below his "age" group.

[CyndiLJ]

When we brought our then 12 year old almost 5th grader home, it was intentional that we held him back and repeated 4th grade. He was reading at a 1st grade level and the school had the attitude that "Oh, he'll catch up eventually." We didn't believe that would happen, and we sat him down and explained it to him logically. It worked, he learned to read, and because he is home he has no care at all about what grade level he is in. In fact, all three of mine that are behind in terms of grade/age level are in no rush at all to move forward or be pushed into work they can not handle.

 

Cindy

[Princess Peach]

Yes, we had DS9 repeat the 2nd grade last year. He has dyslexia and has struggled with reading & writing. He is also younger socially. We talked to him about it and he was actually relieved because he would be able to keep up easier. We also put him in the 2nd grade for Sunday school and the city rec programs.

 

Now, he's starting ps in the Fall and I'm really glad we held him back.

[jujsky]

My DS just turned 9 and is repeating 3rd grade math. We switched him to TT3. If I were to put him in PS, I'd probably hold him back a year due to maturity. He's young for his grade with an August birthday. As far as what to call it, I'm calling this a gap year for both kids. They're both doing some 3rd grade work and some 4th grade work.

[Mommyof4ks]

I would not tell him anything unless he asks, and then I might just say we are finishing stuff from last year before jumping into your new 4th grade books. My son has some learning issues, and at age 8 we are finally getting a handle on them, so he is just now catching up. He keeps on moving on grade wise, and he should be caught up fairly well by the end of this year if we can move past the simple readers and get a handle on subtraction with carrying. I would not want him to think he is being held back or later skipping a grade (to him it might seem like he is missing something because he is a very methodical person) when he catches up.

[Ellie]

Have you ever had a kid "repeat" a grade? I know, I know -- to many homeschoolers, grade levels are immaterial. But if you're a traditional, kid-in-the-grade-they'd-be-in homeschooler (with that child working mostly at his/her age-appropriate grade level, graduating at 17/18, etc) -- have you had a kid repeat?

 

My ds was 9 in April. He was officially in 3rd grade last year, but honestly, he's about to do a lot of 3rd grade work this year. He will start about a third of the way through TT3 (he struggled with Singapore and got behind). He will be doing Editor-in-Chief grade 3 b/c it matches his abilities. He'll be doing Essentials in Writing grade 3 (again, that's what seems to match his abilities).

 

He has dysgraphia and dyspraxia. Probably ADD as well. Figuring out how to work around and help him with his challenges has taken time, and here we are... "behind." His IQ is above average but for a lot of reasons, he struggles. He's "young" socially, too. If I were to put him into school, I really think I'd need to hold him back.

 

My very, very smart dh repeated 4th grade. He was immature and had attention issues. I'm just wondering... should I call this "3rd grade"? And if so, how in the world to I break that to my ds? OR... do I see if we can catch up this year now that he's in OT and I'm figuring out how to help him?

No. No. No.

 

You cannot tell right now how mature he will be when he is 17 and ready for his senior year. If you hold him back now, it is probable that in a few years he'll be where he "should" be academically, and then you'll be trying to figure out how to skip that grade so he'll graduate when he should.

 

IMO, you keep him, on paper, at the grade level he should be according to his age and date of birth, and you work with him in each subject at the level he is capable of.

[katilac]

I would hold him back. It's much easier to do so in the younger grades, imo, than when they are older. Parents get more and more reluctant to do so, and kids get more and more upset about it. And it sounds like 3rd grade is pretty solidly where he is at.

 

 

If your state regulations require a grade, and it's very difficult to skip or change in future years, then I might keep him in his current grade on the paperwork, but I would tell him that he's doing 3rd grade.

[Pamela H in Texas]

As a person who changed my big kids' grades based on level, I say *don't.* My ds was *much* further behind yours at the same age. Because of various issues, we really didn't think he'd catch up. At that point, we were just starting to think he'd ever be able to live on his own, not with us forever. Just to give you an idea. At 12, we were in a situation and had to call him his age-based grade though I disagreed with it (seriously, calling him 5th grade would have been a stretch though he had made MAJOR progress in the previous year so we knew he was in a growth spurt academically). Anyway, by the end of the year, he had a) been successful doing the work and b) tested low but passing on the state test. And he continued doing well from there. He is graduating this fall.

 

BTW, I also did my dd, the other way and back and forth all over. Our tweak before high school was still different than her age-based grade, but it was downright silly what I did before that!

 

Anyway, my thought is that you may find it helpful to tweak grade levels in the middle school grades, but I wouldn't do it along the way.

[8circles]

No. No. No.

 

You cannot tell right now how mature he will be when he is 17 and ready for his senior year. If you hold him back now, it is probable that in a few years he'll be where he "should" be academically, and then you'll be trying to figure out how to skip that grade so he'll graduate when he should.

 

IMO, you keep him, on paper, at the grade level he should be according to his age and date of birth, and you work with him in each subject at the level he is capable of.

 

I've got to agree with Ellie. You can't move on to 4th grade level if you haven't mastered 3rd grade level. Id still say he's in 4th grade.

[NanceXToo]

Tell him you're going to stretch 4th grade out over a two year period because it's going to get much more in depth and you want to fully cover everything and that for the first year/half you're going to first be catching up on stuff unfinished from last year. Then just meet him where he's at with the schoolwork.

[nukeswife]

Keeping them in the grade according to age can actually back fire on you if you live in a state where you have to turn in test results.

 

My dd has recently finished vision therapy and asked us if she could repeat 4th grade because she doesn't feel she's ready for 5th grade yet. My dh and I were actually thinking of doing this. We'll keep her working at the level she needs in all of her work so she'll be doing TT5 because math was never an area she struggled with, but her spelling, reading, writing is all about a late 2nd early 3rd grade level. So as far as the state is concerned we listed her at 4th grade again, thus if she doesn't "Catch up" like many say she will then she can take the 4th grade ITBS which would be more appropriate for where she'll most likely be. If for some reason she makes a huge leap we can give her the 5th grade test to turn in to the state with a note stating why we felt this was appropriate for her.

 

Oh and actually being 9 for 3rd grade isn't all that unusual, many kids have late birthdays and thus miss the cut off date, so being 9 and in 3rd grade is normal and where they should be.

[mama2cntrykids]

I am having my 4th grade ds start with CLE 300 for math. He just struggles with some concepts, so we're backing up (we did TT previously and it was a BUST for him). BUT, I am going through his lessons and crossing out stuff that he's really got down, so he usually does two lessons/day. Hopefully, he will be caught up sometime this year. If not this year, hopefully over the summer.

 

Ds has aspergers and what I suspect is dysgraphia too. In fact, this is the first year that I've gotten him to write a sentance OR MORE in one day. For him, that's HUGE! I was moved to tears when I realized the progress he's made over the last few months.

 

Do what you need to do for your ds and don't worry about it. As long as progress is made, even super slow progress, things will work out.

[Cricket]

Do you have to give him a grade level? This year was the first time we had to decide what grade our oldest was going to be in. He's 14. Most of the kids his age are just entering 9th grade. He simply wasn't ready so this year will be 8th grade for him.

 

If you don't have to have a grade now, then don't. You will have a much better idea of what level he is at when he is older. It was obvious to us that our 14 yo ds simply was not ready for high school level work.

[Ellie]

Oh and actually being 9 for 3rd grade isn't all that unusual, many kids have late birthdays and thus miss the cut off date, so being 9 and in 3rd grade is normal and where they should be.

But OP's child's bday is in April. Children who are 9 in 3rd grade are in states where the cut-off is early, as in September 1, and the children start 3rd grade at 8, turning 9 shortly thereafter. They don't *start* 3rd grade at 9yo.

[DawnM]

I would not. We tried to "hold back" our oldest. He is 14 and 9th grade this year. We held him back when he entered PS. Well, he only went for 4 months before I yanked him out.

 

Since then I have kept him at his grade level according to age.

 

Why?

 

1. Because he will never actually be able to "catch up." In other words, he has some special needs academically and I can't keep holding him back. If he were in PS he would be in a resource class or some lower level classes, but he wouldn't be held back 4 times.

 

2. Because I really don't care if HE chooses to take 5 years to finish high school, but I didn't think it was up to ME to decide that for him in 4th grade.

 

3. Because I can pick and choose what he does for school and if he reads Story of the World for World History as a 9th grader, I don't care. I just want him to get the CONTENT, not perform at a level he may never be able to perform at by reading History of the World and writing a 5 page analysis of the Trojan War.

 

4. Because he goes to Sunday School, youth group, and scouts and he is put with boys/girls his own age group and he had already made his friends.

 

5. Because I don't truly believe anyone can dictate to me what "grade level" should be.

 

Whew.....didn't know I felt quite so strongly about it, but there ya go! :D

[abacus2]

I've seen several threads like this here. It seems that many have the impression that all 3rd graders in school are working at a 3rd grade level or higher in all subjects. This isn't true; the levels of work capability vary greatly among homeschooled students and their schooled peers. A variation of one grade level in ability would not be at all unusual.

 

I assign my children to the grade their age dictates even if they struggle. The individualized instruction homeschooling provides allows efficient remediation when a struggle is past, but a student with lasting and significant struggles is unlikely to have those struggles fixed by moving down a grade.

[Pamela H in Texas]

It seems that many have the impression that all 3rd graders in school are working at a 3rd grade level or higher in all subjects. This isn't true; the levels of work capability vary greatly among homeschooled students and their schooled peers. A variation of one grade level in ability would not be at all unusual.

 

So incredibly true! My friend's 3rd grader was much further along academically than her 5th grader. Both attended the same school and such was life. In my daughter's Kindy class, there were kids who finished the year at the end of 3rd grade level (testing only went to level 30 which was the end of 3rd grade) while others were struggling to get a level 4 (level 5 being considered the end of Kindy level). The teachers were great, working with each child, to help them where they were and where they could be; but no one would even dream the kids would be on a similar level.

 

I do think homeschoolers think their kid needs to be at least on grade level. We tend to stress if that isn't the case. I think we're still trying to prove something. Well, and it's just "where the kid is" if they go to school while some will say it is "because of homeschooling" if they don't.

[Love_to_Read]

I've been mulling this over.

 

Initially, we had to go back and repeat so much of elementary school to remediate what the public school didn't do for learning disabilities, I could easily hold her back on paper right now, but I do think that elementary is a potentially immature time where there could be teasing, an inbility to explain herself if anyone asked why, and self-esteem issues from it.

 

Middle school is where I really start including children in discussions of their weaknesses to help move them toward being in charge of their own learning, and even then, very gingerly...as much as I can make it positive about learning styles and being proud of hard work, etc.

 

My thought is that I may do this as a gap year before high school, an extra year of middle school. I don't want it on a high school transcript, so it needs to be sooner than 12th grade...I think by 9th grade age, the kids will be old enough to reason with...to look ahead toward high school and college and to want to enter on firm footing instead of slightly behind. Middle school isn't the greatest time to rock the boat socially, but I think most 8th graders can stick up for themselves better than elementary kids, if needing to explain to peers. And technically, I don't need to tell anyone other than the state...if it embarrassed the kids, they could enter high school youth group (9-12) after the first round of 8th grade, and save the explaining for junior/senior year, because seriously, until it becomes a matter of graduating and leaving, no one bothers to separate teens by exact grade the way they do for elementary kids.

 

Who knows? By the time the kids get to entering high school, we might have even outgrown/caught up for a gap year to be a moot point and unnecessary.

Edited August 23, 2012 by Love_to_Read

[KarenC]

She has an August birthday. She also "plays up" in soccer. We have always told her that eventually she will drop back and play on age. We decided earlier this year that she would repeat 5th grade. We didn't make a big deal about it. We just told her that she would drop back to her grade level by age.

 

Karen

[nukeswife]

But OP's child's bday is in April. Children who are 9 in 3rd grade are in states where the cut-off is early, as in September 1, and the children start 3rd grade at 8, turning 9 shortly thereafter. They don't *start* 3rd grade at 9yo.

 

I still don't see the big deal. Kids with late birthdays like my dd are 8 for 2-3 months before turning 9 and then are 9 for a majority of the school year (as most of us follow a fall-late spring type school year not a calendar year one) So lets just say the OPer follows a Sept-June school year, her child will be 9 from Sept-April and then turn 10 for that last 1.5-2 months of school, I don't see how that would make it so different. In both situations the child would be 9 for most of the school year.

[Kathryn]

I'm calling ODS first grade again even though we are moving on to second grade material, but that's to put him on target with his age peers. DH is not on board, though he had told me it was okay and I already submitted his paperwork, so it's done (we have to register a grade in my state).

 

In your situation, I don't think I'd change grade levels with only that amount of being "behind." you've got eight years to make it up.

[Paintedlady]

No. No. No.

 

You cannot tell right now how mature he will be when he is 17 and ready for his senior year. If you hold him back now, it is probable that in a few years he'll be where he "should" be academically, and then you'll be trying to figure out how to skip that grade so he'll graduate when he should.

 

IMO, you keep him, on paper, at the grade level he should be according to his age and date of birth, and you work with him in each subject at the level he is capable of.

 

:iagree: DD, who is in 7th grade on paper, has consistently worked a year behind schedule every year since I brought her home after 1st grade. If asked I say she's in the grade she would be in for PS, although her abilities are a year behind. She just works at the level she is capable of.

 

If at the end (or middle) of high school it looks like she hasn't caught up we'll explain that she needs a little more time to complete all her course work. I think there's no need to "hold her back" officially.

 

I honestly don't get why we need to make the distinction at all. Just let him work at his level and don't worry about what to call it. The only reason you'll need to say he's in a certain grade is for sports or church or some other age segregated group, and that won't be dependent on the level of his school work.

Edited August 23, 2012 by Paintedlady

[fairfarmhand]

No. No. No.

 

You cannot tell right now how mature he will be when he is 17 and ready for his senior year. If you hold him back now, it is probable that in a few years he'll be where he "should" be academically, and then you'll be trying to figure out how to skip that grade so he'll graduate when he should.

 

IMO, you keep him, on paper, at the grade level he should be according to his age and date of birth, and you work with him in each subject at the level he is capable of.

:iagree:

I would not. We tried to "hold back" our oldest. He is 14 and 9th grade this year. We held him back when he entered PS. Well, he only went for 4 months before I yanked him out.

 

Since then I have kept him at his grade level according to age.

 

Why?

 

1. Because he will never actually be able to "catch up." In other words, he has some special needs academically and I can't keep holding him back. If he were in PS he would be in a resource class or some lower level classes, but he wouldn't be held back 4 times.

 

2. Because I really don't care if HE chooses to take 5 years to finish high school, but I didn't think it was up to ME to decide that for him in 4th grade.

 

3. Because I can pick and choose what he does for school and if he reads Story of the World for World History as a 9th grader, I don't care. I just want him to get the CONTENT, not perform at a level he may never be able to perform at by reading History of the World and writing a 5 page analysis of the Trojan War.

 

4. Because he goes to Sunday School, youth group, and scouts and he is put with boys/girls his own age group and he had already made his friends.

 

5. Because I don't truly believe anyone can dictate to me what "grade level" should be.

 

Whew.....didn't know I felt quite so strongly about it, but there ya go! :D

 

I've seen several threads like this here. It seems that many have the impression that all 3rd graders in school are working at a 3rd grade level or higher in all subjects. This isn't true; the levels of work capability vary greatly among homeschooled students and their schooled peers. A variation of one grade level in ability would not be at all unusual.

 

I assign my children to the grade their age dictates even if they struggle. The individualized instruction homeschooling provides allows efficient remediation when a struggle is past, but a student with lasting and significant struggles is unlikely to have those struggles fixed by moving down a grade.

these are all such good points.

 

Another thing to consider is, what would you do if he were working ahead of grade level. Likely on paper, you would not put him down as a 7th grader at age 8 or 9 even if he was working on that level, because it would be ridiculous.

 

Keep in mind that many kids learn in spurts. It may take a year or two and then the light bulb may light up and he will take off. Then puberty will hit and it will all go out the window :glare:

 

My dd was doing 2nd grade work late in Kindergarten, but we kept her on paper as the correct grade for her age. Glad we did too, because when she started struggling in middle school, we were able to coast.

 

Again, he may end up doing very well and you will be able to effortlessly "catch him up" to where he ought to be by age, simply by skipping review lessons in the curriculum or working a bit in the summers.

 

You can't tell what kind of student he will be in high school by his current performance.

[Ellie]

I still don't see the big deal. Kids with late birthdays like my dd are 8 for 2-3 months before turning 9 and then are 9 for a majority of the school year (as most of us follow a fall-late spring type school year not a calendar year one) So lets just say the OPer follows a Sept-June school year, her child will be 9 from Sept-April and then turn 10 for that last 1.5-2 months of school, I don't see how that would make it so different. In both situations the child would be 9 for most of the school year.

The OP's ds, because his birthday is in April, will be *19* when he graduates if she holds him back.

 

And I just don't see the point of failing him a grade. In fact, I don't ever see the point of keeping a homeschooled child below grade level *on paper.*

 

Over the last 25 years I have had multiple conversations, on-line and IRL, with people who did that paperwork shuffle with grade levels and who later had messy, messy experiences because of it. It works out much better if you just follow the grade-level placement and teach the child according to his actual ability. Yes, even in states which require testing.

[EKS]

If you plan to homeschool for several years I would not have a child with an above average IQ repeat a grade even if he has dysgraphia, dyslexia, and ADHD.

 

When I brought my now 16yo (who has a summer birthday and was not redshirted and has dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADHD though we did not know it at the time and was about 1.5 years young socially) home for 2nd grade after a disastrous 1st grade year at a private school, I met him at his level academically but still called him a 2nd grader. He eventually caught up and surpassed grade level expectations after several years of intensive remediation. By the time he was in middle school, he was working 1-3 grade levels ahead depending on the subject and he started high school level work in all subjects in 8th grade.

 

My point is that I think you should work with your son where he is with an eye towards "catching up" at some point in the future. You will probably find that at some point he will take off academically. For my son that happened during 4th grade after lots of VT and OT and work at home.

 

I would put off making the decision to hold him back until the time comes to put him in school (if that time ever comes).

[Janie Grace]

Thanks, everyone. This thread has been really helpful. I guess I've been thinking that in every way, he just *seems* more like a 3rd grader still -- plus, holding boys back in ps is so common, it seems like having your kid in the "right" grade is an anomaly, only for advanced kids! (Crazy, I know.)

 

I actually am in a state where I have to tell the district a grade level and turn in scores for a test of THAT grade level -- so yes, that would be a benefit of holding him back. One section of his IOWA scores from this past spring were dangerously close to putting us on notice with the school district (whatever that means). Kids need to be 30th percentile or above and he was 27th in one section. But the other sections pulled his average up to 50th or so.

 

Anyway, I guess that I'm leaning towards keeping him in his appropriate grade level for now, thanks to this thread. I agree with those who say you can't predict how they might advance later on. I'm not afraid to have him repeat eventually, if it seems necessary (middle school?) but for now, I think I'm comfortable keeping him in his age-matching grade level.

 

Thanks so much for the input. And keep it coming, if more people have thoughts.

[Soror]

OP you should check out previous threads on this. There are always militant never, ever do this, the sky will fall posts. Along with we did it and are happy and we are did it and it didn't work. No one else is living in your situation though. There is no guarantee that it will be bad or good as it has worked out both ways for many other people.

[Janie Grace]

The OP's ds, because his birthday is in April, will be *19* when he graduates if she holds him back.

 

And I just don't see the point of failing him a grade. In fact, I don't ever see the point of keeping a homeschooled child below grade level *on paper.*

 

Over the last 25 years I have had multiple conversations, on-line and IRL, with people who did that paperwork shuffle with grade levels and who later had messy, messy experiences because of it. It works out much better if you just follow the grade-level placement and teach the child according to his actual ability. Yes, even in states which require testing.

 

Wow, I hadn't thought about that -- 19 seems REALLY old for graduation! I was 17, with a fall b-day, when I graduated.

 

Can you tell me a little more about the "messy experiences" you've observed? I don't think I'm really grasping the risks involved in doing this at some point.

[Janie Grace]

If you plan to homeschool for several years I would not have a child with an above average IQ repeat a grade even if he has dysgraphia, dyslexia, and ADHD.

 

When I brought my now 16yo (who has a summer birthday and was not redshirted and has dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADHD though we did not know it at the time and was about 1.5 years young socially) home for 2nd grade after a disastrous 1st grade year at a private school, I met him at his level academically but still called him a 2nd grader. He eventually caught up and surpassed grade level expectations after several years of intensive remediation. By the time he was in middle school, he was working 1-3 grade levels ahead depending on the subject and he started high school level work in all subjects in 8th grade.

 

My point is that I think you should work with your son where he is with an eye towards "catching up" at some point in the future. You will probably find that at some point he will take off academically. For my son that happened during 4th grade after lots of VT and OT and work at home.

 

I would put off making the decision to hold him back until the time comes to put him in school (if that time ever comes).

 

Thanks, that was very helpful and encouraging, esp. bc you have a boy who sound so similar to mine.

[LisaKinVA]

OP you should check out previous threads on this. There are always militant never, ever do this, the sky will fall posts. Along with we did it and are happy and we are did it and it didn't work. No one else is living in your situation though. There is no guarantee that it will be bad or good as it has worked out both ways for many other people.

 

:iagree:

 

We have done it...of course in all three cases, my kids would have failed the K entrance exam for various reasons... so if someone wants to play the "put them in the grade they'd be in PS card..." THEY ARE. :D

 

We held back the first for a second go-around at 6th. We held back the 2nd at 3rd grade, and the 3rd is just starting Kindergarten this year. We are in a state that must declare. If my oldest suddenly starts racing through school, I can adjust that...but so far, he is holding a pretty steady pattern.

[creekmom]

My 9 year old son is repeating 3rd grade this year (but with different curricula). He was in vision therapy last year and was really struggling with 3rd grade material. We told him we were going to do a "transition year" this year and wait and do harder "4th grade stuff" next year. He was actually relieved. (So was I!)

[katilac]

The OP's ds, because his birthday is in April, will be *19* when he graduates if she holds him back.

 

You know, I didn't catch that he would be 19 when he graduates. That does influence my answer, b/c I think 19-yr-olds are more than ready to get on with life.

 

I was speaking to a principal recently who told me that she always errs on the side of passing struggling students when it's an option, b/c is it is so incredibly difficult to motivate older-than-their-grade students to not drop out once it's an option. Please note that she does NOT mean it's better to pass them through no matter what to get that piece of paper, but that a student who is working and learning, albeit more slowly than the system wishes, may not benefit from being held back.

 

So, yes, I guess I totally change my answer, lol. My first answer was a combination of brain freeze and my standard response to "should I ADVANCE my young student?" ((my answer is no, do not grade skip a young hs'd student, just work at their level. many super-smart kids are not developmentally ready to start high school early. if they are, it's easier to start high school a year early as opposed to a year late))

[Cricket]

The OP's ds, because his birthday is in April, will be *19* when he graduates if she holds him back.

 

And I just don't see the point of failing him a grade. In fact, I don't ever see the point of keeping a homeschooled child below grade level *on paper.*

 

Over the last 25 years I have had multiple conversations, on-line and IRL, with people who did that paperwork shuffle with grade levels and who later had messy, messy experiences because of it. It works out much better if you just follow the grade-level placement and teach the child according to his actual ability. Yes, even in states which require testing.

 

You know, I didn't catch that he would be 19 when he graduates. That does influence my answer, b/c I think 19-yr-olds are more than ready to get on with life.

 

I was speaking to a principal recently who told me that she always errs on the side of passing struggling students when it's an option, b/c is it is so incredibly difficult to motivate older-than-their-grade students to not drop out once it's an option. Please note that she does NOT mean it's better to pass them through no matter what to get that piece of paper, but that a student who is working and learning, albeit more slowly than the system wishes, may not benefit from being held back.

 

So, yes, I guess I totally change my answer, lol. My first answer was a combination of brain freeze and my standard response to "should I ADVANCE my young student?" ((my answer is no, do not grade skip a young hs'd student, just work at their level. many super-smart kids are not developmentally ready to start high school early. if they are, it's easier to start high school a year early as opposed to a year late))

 

There are a few factors that go into making that decision. Our oldest will be 19 when he graduates. This year we had to make a decision about what grade he will be in because he plays baseball and it affects if and when he can play with a local high school. His birthday is at the end of April so he will be 19 for one month before graduating.

 

For us, it really isn't that big of deal. We discussed the decision with high school coaches. As long as he starts his senior year as an 18 year old, he will be eligible to play for the high school his senior year. One of the coaches we talked to was one of five brothers. His birthday is in May and he was held back one year and graduated after just turning 19. Same with one of his other brothers. He told us that is was a very good decision for him and his dad actually regrets not doing it will all of the boys. And for boys, another year to gain maturity before heading out on their own isn't necessarily a bad thing. :001_smile:

 

It was painfully obvious at the start of this year that our oldest was absolutely not prepared for high school level work. I think the decision was very easy to make at this age but I don't think I would make a decision to "hold back" a child at an earlier age. Our son has dreams of playing ball for a college. If we advanced him into 9th grade now, I don't see how he could maintain the grades and level of work required by the NCAA and potential colleges. I'm encouraged though. Ds is already showing signs of progression and I think he will be fully ready for high school next year. Because of our (lack of) state regulations here I don't have any hoops to jump through to assign him a grade level which is very, very nice!

[nukeswife]

The OP's ds, because his birthday is in April, will be *19* when he graduates if she holds him back.

 

And I just don't see the point of failing him a grade. In fact, I don't ever see the point of keeping a homeschooled child below grade level *on paper.*

 

Over the last 25 years I have had multiple conversations, on-line and IRL, with people who did that paperwork shuffle with grade levels and who later had messy, messy experiences because of it. It works out much better if you just follow the grade-level placement and teach the child according to his actual ability. Yes, even in states which require testing.

 

Again he will only be 19 for a 1.5-2 months before he graduates, you make it sound like he'll start his senior year as a 19 year old, which he won't. Also what is so bad about graduating at 19 instead of 18, or 17. I have a July birthday and graduated a month before I turned 18, it certainly didn't help me any to be almost a whole year or more younger than a lot of my classmates that had turned 18 right after starting the year.

 

And since you mentioned testing, if I do that with my dd and she doesn't "Catch up as is most likely probable" and tanks those tests, that puts us on academic probation requiring me to jump through many, many more hoops and possibly losing the ability to homeschool her all together. Sorry I'm not willing to take that risk, because I know my child better than anyone else and being in a PS would be more detrimental to her than graduating at 19.

Edited August 23, 2012 by nukeswife

[Farrar]

No. No. No.

 

You cannot tell right now how mature he will be when he is 17 and ready for his senior year. If you hold him back now, it is probable that in a few years he'll be where he "should" be academically, and then you'll be trying to figure out how to skip that grade so he'll graduate when he should.

 

IMO, you keep him, on paper, at the grade level he should be according to his age and date of birth, and you work with him in each subject at the level he is capable of.

 

:iagree: I like to just follow Ellie around in these threads about grade level and nod at what she says. :D

 

If he ever goes back to school, re-evaluate then in the context of the specific school. If he's not ready for college when he's 18, then take a gap study year - not horribly uncommon.

[nukeswife]

:iagree: I like to just follow Ellie around in these threads about grade level and nod at what she says. :D

 

If he ever goes back to school, re-evaluate then in the context of the specific school. If he's not ready for college when he's 18, then take a gap study year - not horribly uncommon.

 

If a gap year is no big deal, what's the difference if the gap year is between high school and college or in between 3rd and 4th grade?

[chiguirre]

Our experience with holding Geezle back is very positive. He does much better with kids a year younger than him socially and he's better able to keep up in mainstreamed activities. If your child struggles socially, holding them back a year in extracurriculars can help a lot. I'd also seriously consider it if redshirting is prevalent in your area.