snickelfritz Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 would you loan them money to help them out if it meant you had to charge it to a credit card? :( I'm open to Biblical and non-Biblical points. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I would give them the money if it meant I had to live modestly for a couple of months. I would give them the money if it meant I had to dip into my own emergency fund. And depending on the situation and how close to the relative I was, I might even do it if I had to sell something. But I wouldn't loan money that I didn't have. And I probably would make it a gift, not a loan. (And I wouldn't do either--gift or loan--if their financial hardship was the symptom of a bigger problem with money. If it was just that they lost their job and needed help until they got a new one, sure.) Anyway, that's not biblical or anything. Just practical. Credit cards are bad news. Real bad news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 dh & I disagree on this but I don't feel that borrowing money to give away is ever a good decision. Instead I would suggest that you might look at a creative way you can provide concrete help--like painting a room, bringing groceries, changing the oil, cleaning windows--in the area that they're financially strapped. Or perhaps as a way to help them free up their cash for whatever their need is. Or if it's extenuating circumstances how about finding a way to sell something (item or services) to help them raise the cash they need. And especially I wouldn't loan money to family. A gift would be appropriate but loaning money is a seed bed for future problems. My opinion this morning is tainted by my own money problems. So if you're reading my emotions between the lines, I apologize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KS_ Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I agree with the previous posts - if I felt like I should help out, and was able to, I'd do something to help (dh and I have been in this situation with his sister, and we didn't give money, but diapers, bedding, laundry soap, groceries), but I would not borrow money myself to be able to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 No, not under any circumstances. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 If you do decide to do so, the odds are huge that you will never see that money again, even if the relative is close to you and even when they are on their feet financially and even if you have it in writing that they will pay you back. If you can take the hit and you want to help, go ahead, but don't expect to get paid back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 would you loan them money to help them out if it meant you had to charge it to a credit card? :( I'm open to Biblical and non-Biblical points. Nope - they can get their own credit card unless their credit is very very bad and then there must be some reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 BTDT with a friend and no, I would never do it again. I would try to find other ways to help, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 We have in the past given money to family who are struggling. I agree that loans are bad news, if you have the money make it a gift. I would not use a credit card for this purpose unless I knew I could pay the loan off within a few weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T Baer Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 give monetary or practical help without expectation of return. Let me also say that if want to make sure that you aren't enabling a "bad" habit. I believe that difficult circumstances may be in fact a way for us to learn lessons that we have or would otherwise not learn. You don't want to be the one to prevent them from learning how to be responsible. Also and I am not saying this is the case, but if by giving it makes you the "better person" then this is not a reason to give. Of course using a credit card and incuring the interest in order to give is not a good financial practice for either party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in FL Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Loaning money from charging on your credit card is not loaning them your money, it's loaning them your credit. What if they don't pay it back? Will you have the money to pay off the credit card before you get hit with finance charges and maybe late charges? I would loan money if I had it and it was not needed because the family member was totally stupid with their own money. I also would not loan them money if it would impact my own family negatively (I wouldn't use all the Christmas money for example, although I would scale back my own Christmas to help). Sometimes money problems are truly just a temporary problem and life will get back to normal soon, sometimes money problems are from just living stupidly (spending for years more than they make until it finally catches up to them). By the way, we would only loan it to them (not a gift) and we would make them sign a contract with a payment plan. We just don't have enough money to gift to people, but if they really needed it we would loan it with a strict agreement. BTW, there are a couple of family members I would not loan to, but most I would if I had the cash. Melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThelmaLou Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I would never loan, only give. Biblically, it's the lender's responsibility to forgive the debt and the borrower's responsibility to repay. Should the borrower ever choose to repay (extremely rare in my experience) you can decide whether to accept the money or not. But money between family members creates massive opportunities for tension, resentment, etc... That being said, I would definitely not give if you don't have the money. I agree with others who encourage you to find another way to help that might save them money without actually giving it to them. Also, do not give if you see a pattern of financial irresponsibility in the borrower. This is poor stewardship and it's unloving. My husband and I have money in savings, but we live frugally with very few frills. We have family members who've asked for money in the past and in our attempt to be generous and compassionate, we gave. Then they asked again...and again...and again. As we're sizing up the situation, we see that they always have brand new cars every couple of years, go on expensive vacations, eat out at restaraunts, and generally spend money they don't have. They put these expenses on credit cards and then don't have money to pay for the electricity or a doctor's visit. My husband and I could live like this if we chose, but we would rather save for our kids' college, put money toward retirement, and pay the balance of our credit cards every single month. They are financially irresponsible, and we will not continue to support their lack of discipline. I would encourage you to consider before you do give whether they've fallen on genuinely hard times that were unforseeable, or whether they're continuing a pattern of financial irresponsibility. We offered to pay for some family members to see a Christian financial counselor/advisor to get on a budget and learn to save, etc... Not suprisingly, they weren't interested. And we simply decided we weren't willing to fund their lavish lifestyle. We've made tough choices for ourselves in the ways we spend our money and we're not about to turn that money over to those who are going to continue to spend frivolously. Pray for wisdom, seek outside counsel together, and follow your husband's lead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I would try to find other ways to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 No..I personally only give cash. I give what I can without the expectation of ever seeing it again. My very wonderful inlaws did this for my husband and I as we struggled through college. They gave what they could to help us and never wanted anything in return. So I do the same. If a family member has a need and I can meet it..I do, but not by borrowing..just using what we have. We also help with groceries, cooking them a meal, whatever might help out a little. Hope that made sense. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabeth in IL Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I would give them the money if it meant I had to live modestly for a couple of months. I would give them the money if it meant I had to dip into my own emergency fund. And depending on the situation and how close to the relative I was, I might even do it if I had to sell something. But I wouldn't loan money that I didn't have. And I probably would make it a gift, not a loan. (And I wouldn't do either--gift or loan--if their financial hardship was the symptom of a bigger problem with money. If it was just that they lost their job and needed help until they got a new one, sure.) Anyway, that's not biblical or anything. Just practical. Credit cards are bad news. Real bad news. I agree with Sarah and I think that her advice is biblical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friederike in Persia Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I so agree with all the above posts. We've been dealing with very needy people for a long time now and whenever we did something else that the above suggested it so didn't work! Friederike in Tajikistan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 nt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 but I agree with the general tone here. No. Never. I would gladly lend money from my own bank account, but never, never, never from a credit card. Although I would try to help in what ways I could--babysitting, running errands, maybe a meal or two, whatever God leads to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJN Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 NOT go into debt on a credit card to help them though. I also would not give it to them if it was enabling them to continue bad spending habits. I would love to one day be in a financial situation where I can freely give to help others out in times of *real* need. I know what it is like to struggle pay check to pay check and one day hope to not have to. HTH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 No. And we don't lend money. Ever. I will give you however much you need, but lending always leads to strained relationships IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 would you loan them money to help them out if it meant you had to charge it to a credit card? :( I'm open to Biblical and non-Biblical points. If it was me I wouldn't borrow money with an interest rate in order to loan someone money. When someone needs money I *give* them what I can spare insead of loaning anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancypants Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 would you loan them money to help them out if it meant you had to charge it to a credit card? :( I'm open to Biblical and non-Biblical points. No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 No, I would not loan out money I didn't have. Also, if I did have the money I would not loan it out unless I was prepared not to see it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Another "no." I have a good story that goes along with this, but I will spare you the details and tell you that this type of thing doesn't end well -- not for either party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenKitty Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 would you loan them money to help them out if it meant you had to charge it to a credit card? :( I'm open to Biblical and non-Biblical points. Yes I would. Though I would not expect it back. Also, as long as it was not going to put us in financial hardship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 No, I woudn't borrow money in order to lend money. That's poor stewardship. I wouldn't loan it at all, regardless of my own financial situation. Someone very, very close to me (family member) did once ask if I'd make a loan, and I declined to do so. If I felt compelled, I would gift someone money who was in dire straits. In the case I mentioned, I also opted not to go that route. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 would you loan them money to help them out if it meant you had to charge it to a credit card? :( I'm open to Biblical and non-Biblical points. and able to pay the debt on your card in case no repayment can be made? No, I don't think I would. If you can comfortably (without endangering your own financial well-being) loan some money, yes. This means if it was lost, it wouldn't hurt you tremendously. Always a hard spot to be in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 No way. If we had the money to freely give, and I really felt that it was right to help, I would. But I would only give as much as I could kiss goodbye, and only if it wouldn't mean that I was throwing good money after bad. (Sorry for using two cliches in one sentence :rolleyes:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Call Me Cordelia Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Yikes....as a board, we are as close to agreement as I have ever seen LOL!! Same here. We would give, probably anonymously if it could be arranged. We don't loan. And I sure wouldn't do it on a cc that we could not pay off at the end of the month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 If you do decide to do so, the odds are huge that you will never see that money again, even if the relative is close to you and even when they are on their feet financially and even if you have it in writing that they will pay you back.If you can take the hit and you want to help, go ahead, but don't expect to get paid back. I was going to say the same. Don't lend the money unless you are willing to consider it a gift. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I would give them the money if it meant I had to live modestly for a couple of months. I would give them the money if it meant I had to dip into my own emergency fund. And depending on the situation and how close to the relative I was, I might even do it if I had to sell something. But I wouldn't loan money that I didn't have. And I probably would make it a gift, not a loan. (And I wouldn't do either--gift or loan--if their financial hardship was the symptom of a bigger problem with money. If it was just that they lost their job and needed help until they got a new one, sure.) Anyway, that's not biblical or anything. Just practical. Credit cards are bad news. Real bad news. Ditto. We have also been asked to cosign loans for relatives, but as PariSarah pointed out with credit cards, if we don't have the money to give, we don't have the money to lose on a bad loan either. Not to mention that the individual defaulting on a cosigned loan not only takes our money, but takes our good credit and good name with it. Does this relative belong to a church that can help them out? Could your church help them out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 nt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 No to the credit card use and no to the loan. I'd give money to family as a gift only. Loans amongst family are always bad news it seems. I would try to find some other ways to help. (Maybe I could sell something or tighten up the budget to give them some money. Or, maybe I'd buy them groceries or pay a hydro bill or something to help ease a bit of their burden...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 My sister is a very reliable person. She borrowed money from us instead of taking out a home equity loan. The fees from the loan would have equalled the amount borrowed! She is very reputable and it was only a six month loan. She and her husband are gainfully employed and make over $150 a year. She had her own store and also worked an executive job. She needed the money to fix up her business to sell it off. She sold her business, the person made a few payments, and then the person defaulted on the sale. My sister lost all of her inventory and the business name and the income from the sale. She then unexpectedly lost her executive job and is suing and in the middle of a huge "wrongful dismissal lawsuit." Then, her husband got transferred, so they had moving expenses. Then, her son's employer stopped paying his tuition....so she is paying for college unexpectedly. The reason I typed all this out is to show that you absolutely never know where life will take the lendee or the lender! Her life went from easy to very difficult in a few months. She has always made the payments to me but I know there are times that it was very hard. If she hadn't made the payments, we could have, so it wasn't that big of a stress, but it could have been. One thing we did do, was have her add a clause to her will that if she was killed that we were acknowledged a debtors and to be repaid as such before assets were distributed. I have vowed to never lend substantial money again. Just because I can see how a very obvious secure situation can turn muddy quick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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