eaglei Posted June 16 Share Posted June 16 Hi, Everyone, I'm looking for advice on paring down a house. Some of you may recall that my ds, then my dh, passed away; and, that God most unexpectedly and surprisingly brought new love into my life. My husband and I have our own home and both of us have a minimalist mindset which is exactly how our home appears. However, I am STILL in-process of paring down my former home and it is taking MUCH longer than I ever anticipated. I have carted multiple packed jeep-loads of donations to the Salvation Army, given stuff away, and thrown stuff away. Since I basically have no family remaining, there is no one to pass things on to, other than a second cousin on former dh’s mother’s and father's sides who are into genealogy and I have gladly sent them a few boxes of pertinent items. As for furniture and certain accessory pieces, I have located a business who appears to be interested in purchasing these things. The hard part is the plethora of smaller things! PLEASE give me your advice or thoughts on how to handle the small things and the sentimental things! With the latter, many sentimental things have either been donated, gifted, or trashed – but some still remain. For example, what to do with photos? I’ve got old photos from my side of the family and no one to whom to offer them. I also have tons of photos that I took over the years. Also, negatives that my mom gave me that go way back to her mother and siblings. What to do with these? I have well-organized binders full of things pertaining to ds (awards, stories he wrote, etc.). Most of these I have decided to shred – possibly scan a few to my online files. There are some things that I’m sure are sellable on eBay. Though that is time-consuming, the funds would go towards needed work on the house which is currently underway. Thankfully, my dh is doing a good bit of the work. Those things are in the way, though, and I don’t want to cart them to my new home. I want the house sale-ready as soon as possible. I’m still working on the main floor and have yet to get to the basement and out building – both of which are full of dh’s and ds’ things and are thankfully organized – but still a lot to do. I’m not particularly interested in doing a yard sale – have done those in the past – a lot of work and little return. I also have a lot of VHS tapes of ds; also work-related ones of dh that would be of interest to the cousins doing genealogies. I’d like to convert these to DVD format and toss the VHS. Is it possible to do this without owning a television and a VCR? What brand/device would you recommend? Same question for audio cassettes – I’d like to convert some recordings of ds from cassette to CD and toss the cassettes. And, same question for slides. One big item that is proving problematic is my piano. Seems that no one takes pianos these days. Two people have told me they had to junk theirs – couldn’t even give them away for free – and the dealer who will be looking at my things said the same. Dh offered to bring it to our home but I am opposed. Though I will greatly miss my piano, I am completely sure that now is the time to part with it. I don’t want to see it trashed, though. I’ve been praying for direction on this. I haven’t given many examples here, but I’d appreciate your thoughts and ideas on ANYTHING you’d care to comment on. I would like my new life to be unburdened by THINGS of the past that we can’t take with us anyway. God is moving in our lives and I want to be unencumbered so that we may follow however He leads. Thanks in advance for any suggestions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted June 16 Share Posted June 16 I’d box up what you want to keep then put the photos into albums or scan them into a service that produces a bound book. You’re not obligated to keep every photo. They can’t all be good. Could you have an open house estate sale to sell what you can? Afterwards you can set aside anything you think you can sell later and arrange for Purple Heart (or some other charity) to pick up the rest. Shedule the estate sale one week and charity pick up the next. If it’s on the calendar you’ll likely meet the deadline. Im sorry you have to go through so much stuff. It’s hard deciding what to keep. I’m hovering at the one year mark and still can’t face going through my son’s things. I know I’ll have to do it eventually but it’s still too much. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 Maybe an estate sale? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brittany1116 Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 There are no schools or churches in the area in need of a piano? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 There are companies that you can ship your casettes/VHS tapes too and they can convert them to digital. You could also see if there is an LDS Family History center in your area, they often have digitizing resources you can use for free. What kind of piano do you have? It's true that there isn't a market for many older pianos, but if it is a high quality piano you might be able to find a home for it. Electronic pianos have had a big impact on the demand for older pianos. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amoret Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 (edited) You might check with nearby middle or high schools to see if they need a piano. Most have practice rooms with pianos that need to be replaced periodically. We had an older piano that I couldn't bear to see junked and that's where we found a home for it. Edited June 17 by Amoret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoraBora Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 (edited) I would hire someone to convert the VHS tapes with videos of your son to DVDs -- Legacy Box or a similar business. I'd offer the VHS tapes themselves to the geneology relatives and friends. They can convert them or have them converted if they are interested. Why go to the trouble of converting them if they end up not using them? Re: the piano. Could you put out the word on Next Door or something and ask people if anyone needs a piano? We found a piano teacher who wanted a second piano. He came and hauled it away. Honestly, if you have all of the sentimental stuff out of there, could you call a junk hauling business to come take it away? We have one around here called College Hunks Hauling Junk. They will come and clean out an attic, garage, whole house, and donate whatever they can to Habitat or Goodwill (You get the receipts). Whatever isn't donatable, they will attempt to recycle. They will take a piano. I wouldn't mess with trying to sell stuff on ebay. It's too much trouble, and it may be that you won't actually clear as great a profit as you think. In your shoes, I'd probably just try to finish this process as quickly as possible and get back to my life. Edited June 17 by DoraBora 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 With re: to photos, start by just downsizing them. It doesnt have to be all or nothing. You could keep the best group shot of extended/distant family, and keep maybe 10-20 photos total of parents/close family. Many people have thousands of photos, maybe keep one archival shoebox sized box of the best, with names written on the back. Or maybe you upload key photos to some place like ancestry so future genealogy buffs can see them, and then keep only a handful that bring you joy. Maybe you photograph collections of small things and make a small album of all of the sentimental stuff, and then let it go. As it is just you….figure out what is deeply meaningful to you, and let the rest go….but then really treasure what you do love. Make sure you have audio clips of your ds’s voice and key photos backed up to the cloud somewhere. Time and distance bring healing….and also at moments it’s nice to reflect back and remember love. It may not be something you need now, but future you may need a bit, iykwim. Grief is a process that is never fully complete, it just cycles and changes and evolves. 15 years on, I wish I had a bit more sometimes. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 You’ll drive yourself crazy and take forever trying to find the perfect place for all of those items. Find one charity that will take all or most and just donate it all in one fell swoop. Your time is more important than just being the manager of the stuff. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 58 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: With re: to photos, start by just downsizing them. It doesnt have to be all or nothing. You could keep the best group shot of extended/distant family, and keep maybe 10-20 photos total of parents/close family. Many people have thousands of photos, maybe keep one archival shoebox sized box of the best, with names written on the back. Or maybe you upload key photos to some place like ancestry so future genealogy buffs can see them, and then keep only a handful that bring you joy. Maybe you photograph collections of small things and make a small album of all of the sentimental stuff, and then let it go. As it is just you….figure out what is deeply meaningful to you, and let the rest go….but then really treasure what you do love. Make sure you have audio clips of your ds’s voice and key photos backed up to the cloud somewhere. Time and distance bring healing….and also at moments it’s nice to reflect back and remember love. It may not be something you need now, but future you may need a bit, iykwim. Grief is a process that is never fully complete, it just cycles and changes and evolves. 15 years on, I wish I had a bit more sometimes. I was recently absolutely amazed to find a cassette that my mother had asked my grandmother to record for my 21st birthday. It was a greeting from her, recorded on, apparently, quite short notice! 😄 (My poor grandma!) Hearing her sweet southern drawl nearly did me in, even decades past losing her. I had forgotten how much I loved her! 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 Just thinking about the album part... I think most albums are enjoyed primarily by the people who experienced them in real time. But I've also loved finding old photos of my grandparents and grandparents. My dad recently passed away and I'm now the owner of all photos for about four generations. I know for sure that my children do no want to inherit 100 photo albums! What I plan to do is condense those many photo albums into single ones... For example, one representing all my parents' growing up years (which will also include their parents and grandparents), another representing my parents' young family years when my siblings and I were children and growing up, etc. Perhaps I'll turn many of those photos into digital copies, but will be sparing in what I keep in actual albums. I don't have a problem giving away most of my parents' things, but I try and keep a few special things to pass on. For example, my mother had a glass pitcher collection, and we ended up giving away all of them except the very first one which my dad gave to my mother. I'm keeping all my mother's paintings and my dad's funny made-up limericks. I have exactly one small box of things that were kept from my grandpa, random things, but that represent his life and interests and personality quite well. I will definitely hold on to that. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
history-fan Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 Contact the historical society where you live and where your Mother and Grandmother lived and let them know about the items including the photographs of theirs that you want to donate. I work with my local historical societies and we really appreciate when families contact us and offer donations. Photographs and scrapbooks are eagerly accepted. Most items are also accepted. I’m the person that mainly deals with the photos and videos and am always happy to take them. Many counties have their own historical societies as well as a state historical society, 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 10 hours ago, Heartstrings said: You’ll drive yourself crazy and take forever trying to find the perfect place for all of those items. Find one charity that will take all or most and just donate it all in one fell swoop. Your time is more important than just being the manager of the stuff. I have had to do that with the 2 estates I am settling. Stuff got donated to whichever place was open and on our driving route that day. The key was to get it out and gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 Do you have a music school that offers piano near you? If your piano is tunable and in good shape, you could tell them you will give it to a student for the cost of moving it. (Or go thru craigslist, etc) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 One possible suggestion re the old photos - Check with local historical museums and see if they could use any photos of that era for their files. My DD volunteered at a local history museum and helped organize their files. There were many old photos that they kept for a variety of purposes. When there were duplicated, she did toss those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted June 18 Share Posted June 18 Maybe find a local auction company & let them sell/give away what's leftover. We did an Estate Sale pre-2020 for my In-laws surplus before we sold the house empty. I even think there are local Liquidators that empty the house for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted June 18 Share Posted June 18 (edited) I don't like cluttered surfaces, but I don't mind the curated box-framed sentimental items and black and white photographs that I've hung on our study wall. These are things like small carved elephants that a dear friend made, my baby shoe that my grandfather had bronzed, needlepoint that my mom made, a small ornamental plate, etc. All of the frames are similar so it makes a cohesive whole within a rectangular shape. If you dh is handy, you could pick up old frames at a charity shop, add a box at the back and paint them the same colour. Edited June 18 by Hannah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted June 18 Share Posted June 18 (edited) Whatever photographs you donate, please add who is in the photograph or where it was taken onto the back! I am into genealogy as well and was given a bunch of old photographs for my own as well as Dh's sides of the family. I've spent hours pouring over them trying to work out who is who. My unknowns went to an art studio where they've been 'art'-cycled. Edited June 18 by Hannah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 18 Share Posted June 18 On 6/16/2024 at 7:42 PM, eaglei said: Hi, Everyone, I'm looking for advice on paring down a house. Some of you may recall that my ds, then my dh, passed away; and, that God most unexpectedly and surprisingly brought new love into my life. My husband and I have our own home and both of us have a minimalist mindset which is exactly how our home appears. However, I am STILL in-process of paring down my former home and it is taking MUCH longer than I ever anticipated. I have carted multiple packed jeep-loads of donations to the Salvation Army, given stuff away, and thrown stuff away. Since I basically have no family remaining, there is no one to pass things on to, other than a second cousin on former dh’s mother’s and father's sides who are into genealogy and I have gladly sent them a few boxes of pertinent items. As for furniture and certain accessory pieces, I have located a business who appears to be interested in purchasing these things. The hard part is the plethora of smaller things! PLEASE give me your advice or thoughts on how to handle the small things and the sentimental things! With the latter, many sentimental things have either been donated, gifted, or trashed – but some still remain. For example, what to do with photos? I’ve got old photos from my side of the family and no one to whom to offer them. I also have tons of photos that I took over the years. Also, negatives that my mom gave me that go way back to her mother and siblings. What to do with these? I have well-organized binders full of things pertaining to ds (awards, stories he wrote, etc.). Most of these I have decided to shred – possibly scan a few to my online files. There are some things that I’m sure are sellable on eBay. Though that is time-consuming, the funds would go towards needed work on the house which is currently underway. Thankfully, my dh is doing a good bit of the work. Those things are in the way, though, and I don’t want to cart them to my new home. I want the house sale-ready as soon as possible. I’m still working on the main floor and have yet to get to the basement and out building – both of which are full of dh’s and ds’ things and are thankfully organized – but still a lot to do. I’m not particularly interested in doing a yard sale – have done those in the past – a lot of work and little return. I also have a lot of VHS tapes of ds; also work-related ones of dh that would be of interest to the cousins doing genealogies. I’d like to convert these to DVD format and toss the VHS. Is it possible to do this without owning a television and a VCR? What brand/device would you recommend? Same question for audio cassettes – I’d like to convert some recordings of ds from cassette to CD and toss the cassettes. And, same question for slides. One big item that is proving problematic is my piano. Seems that no one takes pianos these days. Two people have told me they had to junk theirs – couldn’t even give them away for free – and the dealer who will be looking at my things said the same. Dh offered to bring it to our home but I am opposed. Though I will greatly miss my piano, I am completely sure that now is the time to part with it. I don’t want to see it trashed, though. I’ve been praying for direction on this. I haven’t given many examples here, but I’d appreciate your thoughts and ideas on ANYTHING you’d care to comment on. I would like my new life to be unburdened by THINGS of the past that we can’t take with us anyway. God is moving in our lives and I want to be unencumbered so that we may follow however He leads. Thanks in advance for any suggestions! I am so sorry. I remember your DS and DH passing and that is difficult in an of iteself. I haven't read the responses so I am sure some have mentioned that you can send your tapes and slides off to be digitized. I would do that if I were you. You might find a small church or old folks' home to donate the piano to. I know you said there isn't anyone to pass them on to, but I couldn't part with photos and things that mean something to ME. I still have boxes and boxes of slides to go through. That is my goal for the next school year, to go through ALL of my parents' slides, photos, letters, etc.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted June 18 Share Posted June 18 Eaglei, I've thought of you! I DO remember your ds from years back! Unfortunately, I don't recall your husband. I'm just so sorry! A big congratulations on your husband. With that said (gently), I'd like to suggest that you have been through much. Major crises. I was in a clean out/purge state of mind a couple of years ago and took the suggestion of my sister. Now, the difference is you are minimalist, as you say. I don't like clutter, but I also don't like no pictures in frames, coffee table book, etc here and there. It makes the house look comfy and lived in, welcoming. I threw out some things I regret. Can't get them back. Yes, pictures can be duplicated and copied to another format. What most people don't realize though is that every medium will eventually wear down. It might take decades, but it will eventually wear down. I, too, have very old photos of family members! Decades old. I have them. No one wants them. I think someone here (I posted a while back on old photos) suggested donating to a historical society. This will not make sense but is there a way to box up those items you think you may want to throw away? If after a period of time you miss them, then you'll have them. If you don't miss them, then purge. Maybe you've already done that. If so, perhaps your ds's paternal grandparents would like some of his things. I hope I read your post right. ((Hug)) and take care! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglei Posted June 25 Author Share Posted June 25 Thank you all so much! Each suggestion has given me help or an idea and I appreciate that you took time to share your thoughts (and that you remember me)! I got in touch with a person who offers three options, one of which is a variation on an estate sale. He is currently making an estimate on several items I had ready and will do another when I get the rest ready. Regarding the piano, someone mentioned schools and it reminded me of a nearby art school. I'm going to check with them if they know anyone looking for a piano (or if they can use it). I feel like I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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