I think my seriousness about hs alienates me from other hsers

[Tiramisu]

I think I lost a good friend by touching a nerve with comments I made about some hsers not getting a good education, and I am very sad.

 

Most of the hsers that I'm close to have younger children or are relaxed about school in general, college plans, etc. I have one dd starting high school next year so her academic preparation has really been on my mind, and I don't take it as easy as the rest of the people I know. I also expect my younger ones to work every day since we have one down day with a coop.

 

I took my kids out of an excellent ps system and I did student teaching in a neighboring district. I know the the weaknesses of our local public schools, but I also know their strengths. Our local high school has average SAT score over 600 in verbal and math. I haven't personally met other hsers like that, though I know they're out there from this forum.

 

I'm wondering if I'll be able to keep hsing friends or if I'll run them off with my seriousness, intensity, all-work-and-no-play attitude or whatever it is they see in me...

 

I should clarify that my kids are involved in a lot of fun activities, I just make sure the work can get done.

 

Can anyone else relate to this?

 

Not to be too dramatic, but I feel so alone.:sad:

[coffeefreak]

If you truly meant no harm and you truly were not telling her that what she was doing was wrong, than she'll come around. I think the hard thing about talking with other moms about how kids are schooled is, we have to remember what is right for our family may not be right for all (public or homeschool). If you feel like you've truly offended her, call and apologize.

:grouphug:

FWIW, very few homeschoolers feel like they "fit in" anywhere! Read these boards for any length of time and it becomes apparent.

 

Blessings!

[lionfamily1999]

I have a friend that sounds a lot like you :)

 

Most people cast her off pretty quick, she tends to look irritated, arms crossed, etc. She is a nice person, you just can't tell by looking at her.

 

The friends that are right for you will stick around and the ones that aren't won't. Really, do you want friends you have to play to?

[Jill- OK]

I think I lost a good friend by touching a nerve with comments I made about some hsers not getting a good education, and I am very sad.

 

...to just not talk about homeschooling with other moms who are educating their kids?

 

I only suggest this because you say you're sad, now. If you're really dedicated to the idea of promoting your standard to other homeschoolers, then, I wouldn't try and sway you, lol...but if you're trying to develop and maintain relationships...you may not do that by making comments that might resemble the person you're talking to.

 

I rarely 'talk shop' with my friends. Honestly, most of the women I know who are homeschool moms aren't people I met at co-ops, sporting events, etc....they're just friends who also decided to homeschool. (I've known many of them for years). When someone gets discouraged (over a homeschooling issue), we'll rally and encourage...but it's sort of like politics; when you know someone's of the 'other' party, you try and steer clear of certain topics, or (said gently) experiment with 'telling it like it is' with love and gentleness.

 

JMO.

[Blessedfamily]

Homeschooling allows you to tailor your children's education to your family's goals and style and your children's needs very well. Invariably, that means homeschools will be very different from each other.

 

The homeschoolers I met are very different than me. I just keep the conversation on what we have in common. If they express a very different way of doing things, I skirt that particular issue.

 

Sometimes they offer advice that they think is better. I actually listen. When I get home, I do what I want.

 

I understand how you feel. You may very well be the most rigorous homeschooling parent in your crowd. It would be nice to find families with a similar style, but you may not.

 

Certain organizations may appeal to more rigorous homeschoolers. Maybe something like Classical Conversations (I don't know for sure)?

 

Otherwise, you will find similar families online (like here). It can definately make you feel alone not to have a like mind to share progress and daily issues.

[LG Gone Wild]

 

Most people cast her off pretty quick, she tends to look irritated, arms crossed, etc. She is a nice person, you just can't tell by looking at her.

 

 

 

 

:seeya:

 

Wish that I did get stuff done. :tongue_smilie:

[Plucky]

It could be that. I don't talk curriculum and homeschooling with acquaintances. I do with my closer friends but in a very nonjudgemental way. I pick the brain of one lady I know and will use her suggestions but as a friend she's too competitive and intense so we aren't too close. I can be intense, too but I try to keep it at home or with friends that already accept me as I am.

 

Keep in mind that most of the hsers I now take their homeschooling pretty seriously already. Not making curriculum or homeschooling style such an issue has helped us make some good friends and acquaintances.

[Tiramisu]

I have already apologized for anything I said that upset her. I didn't say anything about her because she does a great job with her kids. I was voicing my concerns about a new homeschooling family that shared some struggles with me, and I was afraid that they had received too much advice telling them not to worry about school work and that was causing the trouble or confusion for them. I should have minded my own business. I think I got my friend thinking about any ways in which she might be falling short, or it could be something else but I don't know since I haven't been able to talk to her. She's having some medical problems so it's a hard time for her. I want to help, but I think my attempts are unpleasant for her. I hope she comes around, but I wonder if I should just lie low.

[klmama]

Friendships are more important than sharing homeschooling philosophies, IMHO. I think the trick is to know when to share certain opinions, and when to keep your mouth shut. ;)

 

I have two IRL friends whose approach to homeschooling is similar enough to mine that we can actually talk about anything, even though one is more laid back than I am and the other is more intense. Other homeschooling frends are much more relaxed than I, so with them I don't discuss the details of our homeschool as much. I value their friendship, and I value their dc's friendship with mine, and IMHO those things take priority. I offer suggestions when they are looking for curriculum or new ways of doing things, of course, and I encourage them when they express frustration. For the most part, though, we just don't talk about homeschooling that much unless they ask.

[lionfamily1999]

:seeya:

 

Wish that I did get stuff done. :tongue_smilie:

Lol, I'm sleepy and I have no idea what your response meant.

 

But, even more important... I WAS A JUJU

 

eeeeeeeeeeehhhh :grouphug:

[Pretty in Pink]

If I were you and her friendship were important to me then I'd give her a call or drop by with a baked good of some sort and apologize. I would tell her that her friendship is important to me and if I said something that made her uncomfortable I'm sorry. I might say something about taking myself too seriously sometimes and let her know that I didn't mean to come across as passing judgment on those who take a different approach to HSing.

 

I don't know what you said and I'm not implying that you were wrong, but I know there are friendships that mean much to me and I would go the extra mile to preserve those relationships.

 

As for future friendships, I think you may be well served to leave this topic alone unless you know and trust the other party well and are confident that you can just agree to disagree without any hurt feelings. I know this is hard (((hugs))).

[Plucky]

I agree. Kill her with kindness and keep making overtures if you want this relationship. I've had people do this to me and I always fell in love with them. People like to be liked.

[Tiramisu]

Most people cast her off pretty quick, she tends to look irritated, arms crossed, etc. She is a nice person, you just can't tell by looking at her.

 

 

:lol:

 

This really cheered me up.:D

 

Only because I'm confident that's not me!

 

:lol: Still laughing...

 

I have lots of friends! Really I do!!!:D

 

Thank you!!!

[lionfamily1999]

LOL@ "I have lots of friends..."

 

I think I'm getting giddy tired, because that just set me off on another giggle fest.

 

Not that I don't believe you ;)

[Tiramisu]

Based on all your great advice...

 

I will humble myself and keep trying. At worst, she'll just think me pathetic. She's a very charitable person so that couldn't be too bad. Better pitied then hated.:001_smile:

[LG Gone Wild]

Lol, I'm sleepy and I have no idea what your response meant.

 

But, even more important... I WAS A JUJU

 

eeeeeeeeeeehhhh :grouphug:

 

It meant that you described me when you described your friend.

[Highereducation]

I think I lost a good friend by touching a nerve with comments I made about some hsers not getting a good education, and I am very sad.

 

Most of the hsers that I'm close to have younger children or are relaxed about school in general, college plans, etc. I have one dd starting high school next year so her academic preparation has really been on my mind, and I don't take it as easy as the rest of the people I know. I also expect my younger ones to work every day since we have one down day with a coop.

 

I took my kids out of an excellent ps system and I did student teaching in a neighboring district. I know the the weaknesses of our local public schools, but I also know their strengths. Our local high school has average SAT score over 600 in verbal and math. I haven't personally met other hsers like that, though I know they're out there from this forum.

 

I'm wondering if I'll be able to keep hsing friends or if I'll run them off with my seriousness, intensity, all-work-and-no-play attitude or whatever it is they see in me...

 

I should clarify that my kids are involved in a lot of fun activities, I just make sure the work can get done.

 

Can anyone else relate to this?

 

Not to be too dramatic, but I feel so alone.:sad:

 

Kelli,

 

I can totally relate to you (and I'm in NJ, too - maybe it's something in the water!).

 

My dd only just turned 8, but I am very serious and passionate and focused on her education. I know I've turned some hs'ers off with my intensity, but I'm okay with that. The way I see it, if I'm happy with what I'm doing and the progress dd is making and they're happy with their kids' progress, it's all good. We don't belong to any local groups or co-ops. Oddly enough, most of the friends I've made in this area are ps teachers - and what's even funnier, we exchange a lot of ideas about how we do things. It works for me, but I agree that there are times I feel very alone, at least in terms of fellow hs'ers.

[Ellie]

:grouphug:

I have already apologized for anything I said that upset her. I didn't say anything about her because she does a great job with her kids. I was voicing my concerns about a new homeschooling family that shared some struggles with me, and I was afraid that they had received too much advice telling them not to worry about school work and that was causing the trouble or confusion for them. I should have minded my own business. I think I got my friend thinking about any ways in which she might be falling short, or it could be something else but I don't know since I haven't been able to talk to her. She's having some medical problems so it's a hard time for her. I want to help, but I think my attempts are unpleasant for her. I hope she comes around, but I wonder if I should just lie low.

Well, you know, you didn't mean any harm, but really, it would have been better if you hadn't said anything to a third person, KWIM?

 

If you've already talked to her, then yes, you should probably just lie low.

 

And it's possible that you might need to think about what you say when you're talking about hsing in general, and be a little more relaxed outwardly. Save your pearls of wisdom for folks who seem to share your intensity, KWIM?

[lionfamily1999]

It meant that you described me when you described your friend.

ahhh

 

going to make some coffee

[Kris]

:lol:

 

This really cheered me up.:D

 

Only because I'm confident that's not me!

 

:lol: Still laughing...

 

I have lots of friends! Really I do!!!:D

 

Thank you!!!

 

The only reason I know it's not me is because I've never spent that much time in Virginia. :D

 

When my Taekwondo instructor introduces me to new people, he tells them, "She's just trying to scare you off. Don't pay attention to any of that." :lol:

[Rebecca]

I have experienced this too.

 

I don't have all the experience with the school system that you have...

 

I am just a more academic, driven type of person-

however, my ideals often FALL VERY SHORT of my reality- but I keep trying...!

 

I have felt very alone in my home school journey.

 

Rebecca

[elegantlion]

I figure talking about homeschooling with other families is like talking about s*x with your friends. There are certain people you may tell details but for the most part you know it happens, you don't need to know the details when, where, and how, KWIM. :D

[lionfamily1999]

I'm wondering if I'm off-putting too, now. Thanks ;)

 

Really, I just get told I'm wierd a lot, or that I think too much (which, frankly, makes me want to beat people. What an idiot thing to say!?!).

 

I do not have a plethora of friends, but it's more because people intimidate me, crowds make me nauseous, and I enjoy life here in my hobbit hole. The friends I do have are opposites. I have incredibly dumb, kind friends. Friends that are nearly illiterate, but would give you the shirt off their back. Then I have the ones that are super smart, cold and generally rub people the wrong way.

 

Oddly, none of them ever argue with me or even questioned it when I took Drew out of school. They were all a little surprised, followed it up with a shrug, and said they figured Drew'd get a top knotch education.

 

WTH? Am I off-putting?

[Jean in Newcastle]

2 things could be going on here.

 

1. You were gossiping about a mutual friend. She may wonder what you say about her homeschooling work-ethic and abilities when she's not there.

 

2. As a homeschooling mom with health problems, sometimes I fight the "am I doing enough" guilt. Of course all homeschooling moms can have that guilt but it is esp. hard when you know that you can't go that extra mile because of your health - even if it is temporary (mine is chronic).

 

Having said that - you've apologized. Hopefully she accepted your apology. Let things lie low. If she's having health problems you don't want to overwhelm her with overtures as well-meant as they are. If you normally give her a Christmas card or cookies or a gift then do so but also give her some time and space.

[Testimony]

I live in NJ too. You should come up by me sometimes. I criticize the moms around me because they are obsessed with academics. Every other mother is involved in a co-op, but not just a co-op to have fun. They do an academic co-op. They run it like a public school. They are not able to get involved in extra curricular activities because the families are into co-ops.

 

I think that I probably alienate other hsers because I am telling them to lighten up.

 

I met a homeschooling mom who had her children in every program imaginable. She had them in the Monday co-op, the Tuesday co-op, the Wednesday activities program, the Thursday music program. I asked her when did she homeschool.

 

I know that I seem judgemental. I am concerned about my children's education too. I spend a lot of time trying to read to my boys. I always check their work. I spent time testing them and going over mistakes or areas where they are lacking. I just feel that at 4 or 5 years old we should not be having a heart attack if our children is not able to narrate a whole story or writing in perfect penmanship. I came out of a co-op that obsessed too much with that type of standard. I think that at 4 and 5 years old that you can relax. I find that it is just as educational to sit down with my child and read him a book than having them learn how to print their name at that age.

 

Sorry this is long. I feel like I have the opposite of you. Seriously, if you ever want to come up and meet some academically obsessed moms, come by and see their children's behavior.

 

Blessings,

Karen

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony

[SonshineLearner]

Isn't everyone who homeschools just a little different?

For me, I'm not like anyone I know.

I'm a Christian and I believe that should (and hopefully does) affect my outlook on life.

I was homeschooled from 6th grade...pretty much until I went to some college.

I had my daughter before I was married. You can guess that I made some bad choices.

I married at 30 and he has two girls that we have half time, so every time we make plans, it's centered around whether we have them or not.

I homeschool and yet my children are pretty much not the "first time obedience" sort, which seems to be the new catch phrase for the families I know.

I try to classically school, but what does "Word Girl" fit under. (tv..)

I'm kinda AP, and then I found out that somehow natural childbirth, not vaccinating, not circ'ing, wearing your baby and letting them sleep with you...and saying your pretty much AP, is kinda chuckled at...and did I say that I cloth diapered, too?

And now..I'm raw feeding my dog....

And did I say my house isn't tidy. (But I wish it was...where is that maid??)

Seriously, we met the nicest lady at the OCEAN conference in PDX. She wouldn't even tell us what time she wakes each morning, because she's be scoffed for taking things to seriously. She teaches her children Latin, and her support group wanted to know why she'd go to that trouble, when she could just teach Latin endings...why she taught classically....why this and why that.

Maybe we should just be careful what we say, and when others talk about what they do...not be thinking that we should be doing the same thing. Most of my fellow homeschoolers seem to be doing MUCH more than I do. I went back and looked at my plans wondering if I should add to them. I have my CC program that we do each week & my daughter spends another day at my mom's doing baking and other such things and Latin...Maybe I should make her do more...

And then I realized....she's fine. She's progressing...she's building relationships. I'm happy, I'm reading to her, and I still have 8 years left to expose her to everything I want her to learn. I can be happy for others doing what they've planned...and just do what I have planned for us....

Carrie:-)

[Jenn in Mo]

My friends call me the homeschool nazi, even though I think I'm pretty relaxed...all because I try to stay home and do school most days. It took some convincing to assure them that I'm not judging them for a different education philosophy. I think most homeschoolers feel a bit inadequate and some might be quick to feel insulted or intimidated.

 

I've never felt any measure of judgment toward someone for doing more or less 'school time' and never said anything to imply that I did. It is a sensitive area. There are much more important things than book work and I know these other moms are sincerely loving their children and trying to do what's best for them.

 

By now, these other moms have seen how messy my house can get and understand that I also end up letting things slide sometimes. None of us is supermom. We have different strengths and weaknesses.

[dragons in the flower bed]

Not to be too dramatic, but I feel so alone.:sad:

 

Homeschoolers that are committed to pursuing a traditional curriculum at home are rare. I did go to my first homeschool meeting hoping to find others like that. What I found instead was a bunch of moms who see classrooms as acceptable places for kids and another bunch of moms who are radical unschoolers. I enjoy their company, so I try to filter my words just as I would with non-homeschoolers. I only know three local homeschoolers who are seriously committed to keeping their kids out of a traditional classroom and directing their education at home.

 

The last time we had a homeschool meeting, five people came. Three were homeschoolers -- one Thomas Jefferson education method, two LCC/WTMers. Two were previous unschoolers with kids in public school or who were planning on going to public school next year. They talked about inviting a non-homeschooling mom to the meeting, because she was a cool and pro-active kind of mom. And she is a neat lady who I like. All of them are.

 

I don't want to upset or insult any of these women. I enjoy getting together with them for coffee once a month or so. But I would also like to have homeschool meetings. I'm afraid I'll insult them if I invite just my actually homeschooling homeschooling friends over to talk curriculum.

 

The truth is, some people, whether they homeschool or not, get really insulted when you act as though teaching your kids academic subjects from a plan for several hours every day is different from being pro-active about your kids' education in general while they are in school. I don't know how to tip toe around that and still meet my need to discuss homeschooling with people who are in the trenches.

[Kris]

I'm wondering if I'm off-putting too, now. Thanks ;)

 

I like that. I'm going to use that. I'm "off-putting" -- not scary. :D

 

Really, I just get told I'm wierd a lot, or that I think too much (which, frankly, makes me want to beat people. What an idiot thing to say!?!).

 

:lol:

 

I think I know what they mean. I think about things until I've run myself around in circles and don't know what I finally decided to do! Doesn't help much -- just keeps me awake at night. I still manage to get myself into plenty of tight spots and I'm not that good at wiggling my way back out of them.

 

I do not have a plethora of friends, but it's more because people intimidate me, crowds make me nauseous, and I enjoy life here in my hobbit hole. The friends I do have are opposites. I have incredibly dumb, kind friends. Friends that are nearly illiterate, but would give you the shirt off their back. Then I have the ones that are super smart, cold and generally rub people the wrong way.

 

Ah, yes, but do you see what you've just said?! You prefer the "hobbit hole." Being "off-putting" is a way to insure that they don't bother you in there. It's the way you control your environment -- if, in fact, you *are* off-putting. :001_smile:

 

Oddly, none of them ever argue with me or even questioned it when I took Drew out of school. They were all a little surprised, followed it up with a shrug, and said they figured Drew'd get a top knotch education.

 

Are you sure you're off-putting and not scary? People I know don't argue with me 'cause I'm scary. :D

 

WTH? Am I off-putting?

 

I've been teasing with you a bit, but only 'cause I get what you're saying. I didn't realize a lot of this myself until it was brought to my attention several weeks ago. Someone I know was comparing me with another lady who totally takes charge of a room the minute she walks in. You can't get a work in edgewise and she reveals *way* too much information, but she just talks and talks and talks. Come to find out, she's a lot like what you describe when you say --

 

. . . people intimidate me, crowds make me nauseous, and I enjoy life here in my hobbit hole.

 

She feels the same way -- but you'd never know it. Once you get to know her, you find that she really is *very* uncomfortable around people in general. By taking charge of the room, she is controlling her environment to make herself more comfortable.

 

Then he said, "Then, there's Kris -- she controls *her* environment by scaring everyone off." :lol:

[dragons in the flower bed]

My friends call me the homeschool nazi

 

That's great! Let's make shirts!

 

 

Homeschool Nazi

 

"No books for you!"

 

 

[Kris]

That's great! Let's make shirts!

 

 

Homeschool Nazi

 

"No books for you!"

 

 

 

 

Okay -- but no cakes.

[WTMindy]

I don't talk much about our standards unless we are asked specifically. I realized long ago that people don't really want to hear what I think about their choices. :-)

[lionfamily1999]

I like that. I'm going to use that. I'm "off-putting" -- not scary. :D:lol:

So... you're saying I'm "off-putting." Lol...

[Tiramisu]

2 things could be going on here.

 

1. You were gossiping about a mutual friend. She may wonder what you say about her homeschooling work-ethic and abilities when she's not there.

 

2. As a homeschooling mom with health problems, sometimes I fight the "am I doing enough" guilt. Of course all homeschooling moms can have that guilt but it is esp. hard when you know that you can't go that extra mile because of your health - even if it is temporary (mine is chronic).

 

Having said that - you've apologized. Hopefully she accepted your apology. Let things lie low. If she's having health problems you don't want to overwhelm her with overtures as well-meant as they are. If you normally give her a Christmas card or cookies or a gift then do so but also give her some time and space.

 

 

I think you really hit the nail on the head with this. I don't think we were gossiping because we were both openly asked by this friend new to homeschooling for advice with scheduling. It wasn't a confidential issue. At the same time, since she knows where I'm coming from, she may wonder if I ever would judge her or her children. She's a hard-working mom and her children work hard, too, so as far as she's concered I don't think we have a very different educational philosophy. That's why I think you are probably right about #2. I probably triggered unnecessary worries at the worst possible time.

[Kris]

So... you're saying I'm "off-putting." Lol...

 

Er -- um -- well, IF you are, it's in a good way! :D

[Daisy]

I don't talk homeschooling with anyone other than on-line forums.

 

I'm intensely academic with my children BUT we don't use secular materials.

 

That makes me a reject with the secular crowd and often one with the Christian crowd.

 

I'm definitely a reject with most of my friends who think I've caught some disease since we began homeschooling.

 

Dh understands me. I thank God everyday for that blessing.

 

Most of the time, the forums I frequent understand me.

 

I'm painfully shy but have always been told that I come off as a snob. I think it must be the combination of introvert and smart. Makes friendships tough. I need lessons in small talk. I'm way too serious and I think it does intimidate people??

[coffeefreak]

I figure talking about homeschooling with other families is like talking about s*x with your friends. There are certain people you may tell details but for the most part you know it happens, you don't need to know the details when, where, and how, KWIM. :D

 

:lol:

I like your analogy!:lol:

[Home'scool]

I am very academically oriented with my kids, and I tend to get a LOT of flack for it.

 

I can never understand why it is acceptable for someone to say to me "Gee, don't they ever get any time off?" or "Come on! You need to lighten up and join us for pajama day .... you can't work them all the time!"

 

Yet if I even approach the line of questioning them about their loose style I get the insta-freeze.

 

Bottom-line = loose, unschooling approaches, whether a conscious choice or just a lazier lifestyle is more accepted in homeschooling circles than the academically focused, driven lifestyle. And the academically focused take a lot of cr*p for it.

 

I've been doing this for 8 years, lived in two states, and the reaction is always the same.

[ereks mom]

Most of the hsers that I'm close to ...are relaxed about school in general, college plans, etc. ...I don't take it as easy as the rest of the people I know.

 

... I should clarify that my kids are involved in a lot of fun activities, I just make sure the work can get done.

 

 

I'm a perfectionist and I tend to let myself get overly stressed about making sure the work is done. Since ER graduated and started college -- and earned 8 A's & 1 B his first semester -- I feel somewhat vindicated. HOWEVER, with only EK left to homeschool -- and she'll start high school next year -- I am trying to do my best to see that we maintain more of a balance of work and fun. Sometimes (probably too often) in the past, we missed out on some of the "fun stuff" because we had so much work to do. I think I missed out on some opportunities to get to know the other homeschoolers in the area, and now I often feel isolated.

Edited December 20, 2008 by ereks mom

[Karenciavo]

Sometimes it is hard to get connected with others, I'm sorry you are having a hard time finding like-minded people. :grouphug: I think I'm just down the road from you Kelli and I know a lot of homeschoolers that are serious about providing their children with an excellent education. I have a 10th grade son and an 8th grade son, if you ever want any help with anything or you want to chat drop me a PM.

[TwinMominTX]

I can relate. My girls are young, but I take my job and responsibility to homeschool them very seriously. We take a lot time out to travel, but we are dedicated to school and do our very best to make it our primary responsibility.

 

I had one mom chide me for teaching my girls to read when they were in kindergarten.

 

I do feel alienated sometimes, but I don't know that I really care. I know that we have a good balance between school, life and and fun.

[OnTheBrink]

I can relate, too. One of the greatest joys I used to have was discussing homeschooling with friends/other homeschoolers. I've given up. I'm tired of being ridiculed for teaching my dc Latin, history (and not "social studies"), on and on. And, conversely, I'm tired of being ridiculed for not teaching enough. It seems a lot of homeschoolers have forgotten that the beauty of it is to tailor it to your own goals and to your own children.

 

As far as your issue, you apologized and I don't think there is much more you can do.

[frogpond1]

and when their kids hit jr. high or high school the seriousness will probably kick in. Even if it doesn't they will come to realize that you are just who you are. You have to be able to show you accept them as they are. I've been such a wierdo to so many people, but homeschooling is like baby raising. It's best not to discuss philosophies at many times.

[Garga]

Haven't read all the replies, but perhaps the mistake was the gossiping about another family.

 

I'm a reformed gossiper. LOVED to talk about other people. Learned the very hard way that other people don't always want to be friends with a gossiper!

 

Needless to say, I rarely talk about other people anymore. Was too painful to lose friendships because they got tired of my talking about others.

 

Wow. That sounds like I'm judging you. But, just be careful talking about other people especially if you're talking about how you don't agree with them or think they are making mistakes. Keep it to yourself. Perhaps that was what was off-putting your friend.

[Kris]

I'm tired of being ridiculed for teaching my dc Latin . . .

 

I just say "foreign language" but that isn't working, either. I was having a conversation with a couple of people last week -- not homeschoolers, though -- and I mentioned conjugating verbs. I thought everyone took at least a year of Spanish or French in high school and would know what that was. Um, no. We were discussing memorization and I was trying to describe a table and, of course, picked an example that no one could relate to. It was embarrassing, but they were nice about it -- no ridicule. :001_smile: