Tell me about co-ed high school wrestling.

[SKL]

So, my kid is exploring the possibility of joining "co-ed wrestling."  She is a 13yo 9th grade girl - petite, but not super light - I think she weighs about 110?

What is co-ed wrestling?  Do the girls actually wrestle the boys, or would they put girls against girls?  What else should we know before going in?

[Catwoman]

My biggest question would be —- What safety precautions are being taken by the school to keep the kids safe?

Wrestling seems like such a terribly risky activity during a pandemic! 

[theelfqueen]

They wrestle whoever is in their weight class...there are fewer girls than boys so it's most common for girls to wrestle boys not other girls. 

[EmilyGF]

Girls wrestle guys and vice versa unless the school decides otherwise, but then the school is required to forfeit regularly.

The wrestlers I knew in school did a lot of things that bordered on or were disordered eating in order to meet weight targets when they weighed in before meets. I'd want to be paying attention to whether the wrestler was developing an eating disorder.

Emily

[theelfqueen]

Yeah I forbid my kids to cut weight and was strict about it. He often ended up wrestling up anyway because our state champ was in his weight class on his team...I always joked " you don't need to cut weight, you need to give J cookies." After J's last match of his senior year he marched up to me and announced "Mrs. D, YOU owe me cookies." 

As a wrestler you want to be the heaviest person in your class, not the lightest person in the next class because you didn't make weight. 

Edited September 3, 2020 by theelfqueen

[rebcoola]

People wrestle based on their weight class.  I wrestled in Middle and High school one time they tried having only girls wrestling girls but their wasn't enough and the weight classes were adjusted to ridiculousness to make it work. 

 Making weight can be a big deal and some places let/encourage kids to go to extreme measures.  Like wearing sweat suits and running the weight off or taking laxatives so be careful.

[2squared]

I have two wrestlers. In MN, parents control how much weight a wrestler is allowed to lose. At the beginning of the season, doctors measure the level of fat on each kid's body. The high school league will not allow kids to go below a certain body fat %. I don't remember the amount off-hand. The doctors determine how much each kid could lose and stay within that fat %. The range between kids can be large because the kids' body compositions range widely. Those measurements are shared with the parents, and then we have to sign a medical permission slip showing the weights we will allow our kids to wrestle. We are not allowed to select weights below the doctor's baseline, and our kid is not allowed to wrestle before the permission slip is signed. Dh & I never pick the lowest possible weight, and our coach confers with us and the kids about which weights we are comfortable with.

The kids do wrestle based on their weight class. The weigh in for each match, and they are allowed to wrestle the weight class that matches their current weight or the weight class above that one. If my kid weighs 110lbs, he could wrestle in the 113lb or 120lb weight class. If he weighed 113.1lbs, he could wrestle in the 120lb or 126lb weight class. Oftentimes wrestlers are given "extra lbs" depending on the time of year, if they wrestled the day before, snow days, etc. When that happens, the weight classes are adjusted, for instance an extra lb allowance turns 113lbs into 114lb. If your kid weighed 113.1 on that day, he could wrestle 113lbs or 120lbs.

Boys and girls wrestle each other. You can find all-girl wrestling clubs and all-girl tournament classes in big tournaments.  

My oldest son has learned excellent nutrition and body health from wrestling, and I see other kids with the same experience. I also know some of the kids choose to manage their weight in stupid, unhealthy ways. In my observations, the kids who are making the unhealthy decisions don't have the same type of parental support at home as my kids.

Since high school sports are shut down here, my 16yo has been traveling to national wrestling tournaments without issue. Wrestlers are normally very careful about exchanging germs and sanitizing equipment, and the precautions put in place at the tournaments have been effective. 

Wrestling is a very physical and very mental sport. It not only requires discipline, hard work, and healthy bodies, but it teaches how to win humbly and lose respectfully. My 16yo loves wrestling with a burning passion. My 14yo does not, but I think 14yo will like wrestling a lot better once he hits puberty.

[WendyLady]

We loved wrestling. My main concern would be starting at this age.  My son was wrestling in 2nd grade with a high school club team, and it seemed like he was late starting with a lot of the kids starting in preschool.  There are a lot of skills that they learn in those early growing years that she will have missed out on; it would put anyone starting in 9th grade at a stark disadvantage. It's tough. It's the hardest workout of any sport my son has done. It is very emotional and personal to win or lose.

[rebcoola]

I think whether 9th grade is late depends on the area.  Where I grew up the first wrestling was JR high.  Not all areas have club teams.  We had new kids every year.  

[theelfqueen]

My oldest started wrestling in Middle School and it was definitely late for our area BUT there are a significant number of school wrestlers who never wrestled club... but the champions almost all started by like age 6. My youngest started at about 8 and seriously, in our area, that is kind of late for club, which was a bit of a shock. 

[Ali in OR]

There's no club wrestling here that I ever heard of--kids start in high school. I know a couple of years ago there were only 2 girls on the wrestling team--they often wrestled boys. This last year there were a whole bunch of girls--I think it's becoming more popular for girls. I know there were tournaments where girls only wrestled girls (a few of the students I worked with were on the team, so this is from talking to them). In general, lots of injuries and the "make weight" eating issues mentioned above certainly came up in discussion with male wrestlers in class (one dislocated his elbow and couldn't write, so the issue came up).

[ktgrok]

2 hours ago, 2squared said:

 

Since high school sports are shut down here, my 16yo has been traveling to national wrestling tournaments without issue. Wrestlers are normally very careful about exchanging germs and sanitizing equipment, and the precautions put in place at the tournaments have been effective. 

 

First, I'm really glad he's stayed healthy. But I'm wondering HOW on earth they could possible have precautions in place to prevent aerosol transmission of a virus that is spread via breathing on people, when they are literally on top of each other for several minutes, breathing hard? I mean, that just doesn't seem possible. Are they wearing masks while wrestling? Ones that don't slip or gap even when grappling?

[Catwoman]

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

First, I'm really glad he's stayed healthy. But I'm wondering HOW on earth they could possible have precautions in place to prevent aerosol transmission of a virus that is spread via breathing on people, when they are literally on top of each other for several minutes, breathing hard? I mean, that just doesn't seem possible. Are they wearing masks while wrestling? Ones that don't slip or gap even when grappling?

 

That is exactly what I’m wondering, as well.  Even if masks were used, the direct physical contact would almost certainly contribute to the spread of the virus. It’s not like they’re going to spray the athletes from head to toe with disinfectant right before they wrestle. 

I’m sorry, but this sounds so unsafe to me because of the current virus situation.

[2squared]

8 hours ago, Catwoman said:

 

That is exactly what I’m wondering, as well.  Even if masks were used, the direct physical contact would almost certainly contribute to the spread of the virus. It’s not like they’re going to spray the athletes from head to toe with disinfectant right before they wrestle. 

I’m sorry, but this sounds so unsafe to me because of the current virus situation.

The wrestlers are not wearing masks, but everyone else is. They have the prescribed precautions taken at our F2F schools - temp checks, Covid survey, social distancing when not wrestling, hand sanitizer, etc. at the tournaments. My son wrestles less than 10 kids, so his true exposure Is with those >10 kids.  His exposure is probably less at the tournaments than at school.

Dh is working out of the house, and my other kids are going to school too. Every family decides their own level of risk. I know our level of risk is higher than most people on this board. I also know our level of risk is much lower than most people I know IRL. 

Edited September 4, 2020 by 2squared

[2squared]

9 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

My oldest started wrestling in Middle School and it was definitely late for our area BUT there are a significant number of school wrestlers who never wrestled club... but the champions almost all started by like age 6. My youngest started at about 8 and seriously, in our area, that is kind of late for club, which was a bit of a shock. 

I think it definitely depends on how strong wrestling is in your area. My 14yo was a state champion in kindergarten. I giggle just thinking about it. He had no idea what any of it meant at the time, so it really meant nothing.

My 16yo started in 1st grade, and he finally became state ranked last year. He’s weighing his options for college wrestling. Not sure if he will go down that path, but he has bodacious goals. 

We live in MN which is a top five high school wrestling state. 

[ktgrok]

12 hours ago, Catwoman said:

 

That is exactly what I’m wondering, as well.  Even if masks were used, the direct physical contact would almost certainly contribute to the spread of the virus. It’s not like they’re going to spray the athletes from head to toe with disinfectant right before they wrestle. 

I’m sorry, but this sounds so unsafe to me because of the current virus situation.

Well, and even if they did, you'd have to spray it in their lungs, lol. (don't do that!)

4 hours ago, 2squared said:

The wrestlers are not wearing masks, but everyone else is. They have the prescribed precautions taken at our F2F schools - temp checks, Covid survey, social distancing when not wrestling, hand sanitizer, etc. at the tournaments. My son wrestles less than 10 kids, so his true exposure Is with those >10 kids.  His exposure is probably less at the tournaments than at school.

Dh is working out of the house, and my other kids are going to school too. Every family decides their own level of risk. I know our level of risk is higher than most people on this board. I also know our level of risk is much lower than most people I know IRL. 

Right, they seem to be making it as safe as they can - but the fact is that close contact and heavy breathing and no masks would be classified as high risk contact. 

[2squared]

47 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

Well, and even if they did, you'd have to spray it in their lungs, lol. (don't do that!)

Right, they seem to be making it as safe as they can - but the fact is that close contact and heavy breathing and no masks would be classified as high risk contact. 

No disagreement. It’s a risk we are willing to take, and I assume the OP is as well since she asked about wrestling.    

Edited September 4, 2020 by 2squared

[ktgrok]

11 minutes ago, 2squared said:

No disagreement. It’s a risk we are willing to take, and I assume the OP is as well since she asked about wrestling.    

Absolutely! I get that everyone makes their own decisions - I was just responding to a level of safety that seemed to be implied - that there were precautions to make it safe when in fact, with that level of close contact, it just isn't possible. 

And I say that knowing that my dermatology appointment recently also was just not safe - in that it involved me having to take my mask off while they did a biopsy on my nose. I have to go back in two weeks for follow up on it, and same thing. (although the doctor did wear a mask)

Edited September 4, 2020 by Ktgrok

[Pen]

Aside from Covid issues, where wrestling is toward high risk end 

I suggest she try to watch some wrestling (real, not show, and ideally her own high school level— youtube probably can help) and meet the coach, learn what the demands are before getting into it.

 You should make sure her medical insurance is adequate for covering potential wrestling injuries.  

And also should find out what is expected of parents—such as driving required, for practices and competitions, time, equipment, fund raising...  Sports can be intense in demands.  Not just for athlete, but whole family. 

It can be hard for parents, and even more so for single parents which iirc, you are. 

Is other child independent enough that you can be a wrestling team mom? 

I know a girl high school wrestler.  She is extremely strong! 

 

[SKL]

Good points here.  Lots to ask the coach about.  (The coach is new this year, so that could also be a factor.)

My girl is on the JV soccer team and marching band this fall (7 evening practices per week), so I might have to say no anyway if wrestling starts seriously practicing in the middle of soccer season.  And she is likely to try out for other sports.  I think 1 school sport at a time is enough.  😛

I should note that the school has both a boys' wrestling team (V and JV) and a co-ed team, so maybe that decreases the likelihood of wrestling with boys?  Not that I'm totally against it, but high school boys are physically a lot different from girls.  Unless we're talking pre-pubescent boys or super Amazon girls, I really don't think it's fair.

[hippiemamato3]

I don't know much about wrestling and I'm super liberal, but the idea of my tiny daughter wrestling with high school boys, even small ones, makes me feel mildly ill. 

[SKL]

6 minutes ago, hippiemamato3 said:

I don't know much about wrestling and I'm super liberal, but the idea of my tiny daughter wrestling with high school boys, even small ones, makes me feel mildly ill. 

Yeah, I can't say I don't have misgivings at all.  I just wanted more info in order to make an informed decision.  If I hear that most of the people on the co-ed teams are actually girls, that could be a factor.

[teachermom2834]

I know this will likely get me some hate here and stories about dominant female wrestlers but...I would only allow this with a super strong Crossfit type weightlifting girl. I know a girl who is not particularly athletic or strong but I think liked the novelty of it and doing something outside the norm. She got a bad concussion within a short time that is still impacting her a year later. Now, I know this can happen to strong females and males as well. I know it happens in all kinds of sports and life involves risk, etc etc. but this girl suffered a life altering concussion fooling around with a physical sport against young men. 

My son's girlfriend who is super flexible but more of a dancer/acrobat and pretty small was considering it. Again, I think she was drawn to the novelty of doing something different and being a trailblazer of sorts. She decided against it and we were all relieved. It is hard to look at her and think she wouldn't get seriously hurt at some point. I know she could probably wiggle and squirm her way away from some boys but there is just such a strength difference. 

I just can't see allowing this with a daughter of mine or encouraging most girls to do it. I honestly think I'd rather her strap on the pads and helmet and try football. 

[SKL]

My girl is incredibly strong for her size ... but is still a girl.  So we'll see what the coach says.

[MEmama]

24 minutes ago, SKL said:

Good points here.  Lots to ask the coach about.  (The coach is new this year, so that could also be a factor.)

My girl is on the JV soccer team and marching band this fall (7 evening practices per week), so I might have to say no anyway if wrestling starts seriously practicing in the middle of soccer season.  And she is likely to try out for other sports.  I think 1 school sport at a time is enough.  😛

I should note that the school has both a boys' wrestling team (V and JV) and a co-ed team, so maybe that decreases the likelihood of wrestling with boys?  Not that I'm totally against it, but high school boys are physically a lot different from girls.  Unless we're talking pre-pubescent boys or super Amazon girls, I really don't think it's fair.

I don’t know anything about wrestling, but yes to this. My teen is lean—5'10 and 115-120 lbs—but crazy strong. Not “built” strong, but there’s just a physical strength that girls just don’t have (gross simplification, I know). I’ve been telling him since he was around 11 or so that he could absolutely take me down without even trying; he still doesn’t truly know his own strength but obviously has to hold waaaaaaay back when we are messing around. 
It has inspired a few conversations about being aware of his strength when he’s with girls, that there really is a difference even if he doesn’t see it. 

[EmseB]

I really don't understand how co-ed wrestling would work given the huge strength disparity between boys and girls even if they are the same weight class. Did not know this existed!

[2squared]

14 minutes ago, MEmama said:

I don’t know anything about wrestling, but yes to this. My teen is lean—5'10 and 115-120 lbs—but crazy strong. Not “built” strong, but there’s just a physical strength that girls just don’t have (gross simplification, I know). I’ve been telling him since he was around 11 or so that he could absolutely take me down without even trying; he still doesn’t truly know his own strength but obviously has to hold waaaaaaay back when we are messing around. 
It has inspired a few conversations about being aware of his strength when he’s with girls, that there really is a difference even if he doesn’t see it. 

This is the idea I wanted to add to my post, but thought I would be blasted on here, as I have been before with this topic. I, also, would not want my girls wrestling a high school boy. The only saving grace could be if your daughter was in the 106/113 Lb weight class, because then she would probably be wrestling prepubescent boys. 

[Frances]

9 minutes ago, EmseB said:

I really don't understand how co-ed wrestling would work given the huge strength disparity between boys and girls even if they are the same weight class. Did not know this existed!

This is what I’m also struggling to understand. In elementary school, I could run faster and longer, throw any ball further, and out arm wrestle any boy in my school, even ones several years older. But no way was any of that true by high school. I was asked to be the kicker for the newly formed boys football team during my freshman year in high school, probably because I had mastered the techniques growing up and there had never been any formal youth football teams in the area. My PE teacher told the coach about me after we did a football unit.

I’d also add that wrestling was the only sport my husband said he would never allow our son to do. And he’s generally not the type at all to favor or push one activity over another. He wrestled for many years growing up in IA where it was huge and thinks it permanently affected his growth and health. And it wasn’t at all due to uninvolved parents as someone mentioned up thread. That is pretty much the opposite of his parents.

[CinV]

1 hour ago, EmseB said:

I really don't understand how co-ed wrestling would work given the huge strength disparity between boys and girls even if they are the same weight class. Did not know this existed!

Wrestling isn't all about strength, there is a lot of technique and skill involved. My son's wrestling club has some high school girls in it and they can hold their own quite nicely. 

[CinV]

1 hour ago, 2squared said:

This is the idea I wanted to add to my post, but thought I would be blasted on here, as I have been before with this topic. I, also, would not want my girls wrestling a high school boy. The only saving grace could be if your daughter was in the 106/113 Lb weight class, because then she would probably be wrestling prepubescent boys. 

Not necessarily. Best 106 on my son's team last year (and in the state) was a Senior. 113 and 118 were both Juniors. Heavyweight this year is a Freshman. 

[Pen]

1 hour ago, Frances said:

This is what I’m also struggling to understand. In elementary school, I could run faster and longer, throw any ball further, and out arm wrestle any boy in my school, even ones several years older. But no way was any of that true by high school. I was asked to be the kicker for the newly formed boys football team during my freshman year in high school, probably because I had mastered the techniques growing up and there had never been any formal youth football teams in the area. My PE teacher told the coach about me after we did a football unit.

I’d also add that wrestling was the only sport my husband said he would never allow our son to do. And he’s generally not the type at all to favor or push one activity over another. He wrestled for many years growing up in IA where it was huge and thinks it permanently affected his growth and health. And it wasn’t at all due to uninvolved parents as someone mentioned up thread. That is pretty much the opposite of his parents.

 

Quite a few states (maybe 20 or so) now have girls wrestling for competitions, so even if they practice together they compete against other girls.  Girls wrestling has been gaining in popularity.  

I also find wrestling injuries of concern.

Some of the more dangerous throws are now prohibited at least where I am— don’t know if that’s local, state, National .  But there are still significant injuries.  

 

[2squared]

15 hours ago, Frances said:

I’d also add that wrestling was the only sport my husband said he would never allow our son to do. And he’s generally not the type at all to favor or push one activity over another. He wrestled for many years growing up in IA where it was huge and thinks it permanently affected his growth and health. And it wasn’t at all due to uninvolved parents as someone mentioned up thread. That is pretty much the opposite of his parents.

I'm the one who mentioned parental support upthread, and I did not say anything about uninvolved parents. I said, "In my observations, the kids who are making the unhealthy decisions don't have the same type of parental support at home as my kids." Some of the worst offenders with unhealthy weight management behaviors are the most involved parents. I hope this has gotten better over the years, as I hear stories from adults who wrestled decades ago under weight management practices which would not be allowed anymore.  Dh and I have never supported those behaviors. In fact, we have made choices which eliminated our oldest son from a state trip his freshman year and also may have eliminated the entire team's trip to state. My oldest ds has been a varsity starter since he was a prepubescent boy in 8th grade, and we refused to sacrifice his growth for the team or for his personal goals.

I do not get the impression the OP is an uninvolved parent or a parent who would support unhealthy weight management.

 

14 hours ago, CinV said:

Not necessarily. Best 106 on my son's team last year (and in the state) was a Senior. 113 and 118 were both Juniors. Heavyweight this year is a Freshman. 

Exactly. As I said, "The only saving grace could be if your daughter was in the 106/113 Lb weight class, because then she would probably be wrestling prepubescent boys."  A few seniors and juniors are able to get down to those weights, and then those older boys are usually the best in the state because they are (mostly) wrestling younger, prepubescent boys. 118lbs is much easier for a junior/senior to fill than 106/113, in my experience.  When my son wrestled 106/113 as an 8th grader, he almost always wrestled against 7th-9th graders, but he did run across a few older kids. We are in MN were junior high kids can participate in varsity sports, so we undoubtedly have a higher percentage of prepubescent kids filling those weight classes than states which don't allow junior high kids on varsity teams.

Heavyweight is a unique weight class. Heavyweight ages are all over the board, in my experience, since that weight class is hard to fill. Oftentimes the same kid will wrestle that spot all four years of high school, and weight is a critical factor in that weight class. With a 220-250lb range, a "light" heavyweight at 220lb has a harder path than a 250lb heavyweight, regardless of age.

Since the OP said her daughter was 110lbs, at that size, she may easily wrestle in the 106lb weight class. In January, the 106lb class becomes 108lb (since all kids get 2 lbs after Christmas/Jan 1), and she probably wakes up in the morning <110lbs anyway.  If the OP's kid was potentially matched up against the #1 state ranked 106lber, I would expect her coach to forfeit the match. No newbie should wrestle a #1 state ranked kid. If her daughter is still growing, then I wouldn't expect the 106lb weight class to be an option for much longer.

Edited September 5, 2020 by 2squared