Danestress Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 (edited) This is purported to be a divorce calculator: http://www.divorce360.com/content/divorcecalcresults.aspx You can put in information about how long you have been married, your education level, and whether you have children, and it will calculate your likelihood of divorcing. It doesn't ask much - very abbreviated. The interesting thing is that I put in all my information and found that 16% of people similarly situated to me are divorced and 2% of similar people will divorce in the next 5 years. Not bad. But when I put in the exact same set of information but said that I had no children, I found that 42% of similar people are divorced. Do you think that's because infertility is a massive stressor, or do you think that having children makes one more likely to stay married? Edited December 2, 2008 by Danestress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 I got 14% and 6% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delighted3 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 (edited) I got 53% and N/A. I am not sure what that means :001_huh: When I did it for my husband the answer was 33% and 6%. I also found it interesting that they only ask if there are children if you are female. I can't even begin to analyze what those results mean for my marriage:) Joy Edited December 2, 2008 by Delighted3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Funny. I did this for myself and Dh just as a gag. It didn't ask DH the children question. So for guys it doesn't make a difference if they have children or not? My results were 32% and 8% My DH's results were 18% and 5% My answers.. female, yes kids, college degree, married after 1980, married at 21yo, and married 14 years. DH's same as above only he is male (duh) and was 25yo. Dh just told me our REAL % had better be nothing higher than zero. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Do you think that's because infertility is a massive stressor, or do you think that having children makes one more likely to stay married? Could be a combination of both factors. I think that having children would provide couples motivation to work things out or to put more effort into a relationship that perhaps has gone a little stale. If there are no children involved, it would be significantly easier to walk away from a relationship. I do know that infertility issues can cause great strains on a marriage, but the couples that I know that have gone through infertility (and there are surprisingly many of them) have all stayed together despite the hardships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Wow, my profile yields 40%!!! My husband's yields 35%! If I change my profile to read no children, it shoots up to 73!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly IN Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Not sure what this means: Me: 38% 9% DH: 34% 5% We are best friends. It is extremley unlikely we will divorce. Surpised they didn't ask about religion. Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 We are best friends. It is extremley unlikely we will divorce. Surpised they didn't ask about religion. Holly If you are interested in the issue of divorce and religion, there is interesting information here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Is it just me? I cannot bring myself to even take a quiz like that, and I am a person who typically likes quizzes. Too morbid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 (edited) Me People with similar backgrounds who are already divorced: 8% People with similar backgrounds who will be divorced over the next five years: 4% Husband: Already divorced: 10% Next five years: 4% Huh. I have no idea how to derive meaning from that. I guess it must be because we have kids and married "old" (because I was married before and didn't intend to do it again... but THAT doesn't factor in, does it?) Edited December 3, 2008 by MyCrazyHouse new thoughts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I got 16% and 2%, dh got 13% and 3%. Dh says "I guess we're stuck". Yep, guess so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I got 29% and 5% and the DH got 16% and 2%. Guess we're pretty safe! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I got 22 percent and I thought that was high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I was 27% and 8% My Hubby was 15% and 8% Why don't they ask the males if they have kids. I would think that affects the males just as much as the females. One of the differences between my hubby and me is age. He was 24 (a month from 25) when we married, and I was 22. People always tell me I married young, but they never tell him that:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Not sure what this means: Me: 38% 9% DH: 34% 5% We are best friends. It is extremley unlikely we will divorce. Surpised they didn't ask about religion. Holly Or finances. With the country in recession, the divorce rate is sure to climb.:sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmomtutu Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Icky! A divorce quiz...really:confused:? Uhhmmmm....Nahhhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay in Cal Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I got a 37% and 7%. We got married at 22, which fell into the lowest category... around here I usually feel like we married so old! We had both been college graduates for over a year, can't we be in the next category up? Well, nonetheless... isn't around 50% average? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 This is purported to be a divorce calculator: http://www.divorce360.com/content/divorcecalcresults.aspx You can put in information about how long you have been married, your education level, and whether you have children, and it will calculate your likelihood of divorcing. It doesn't ask much - very abbreviated. The interesting thing is that I put in all my information and found that 16% of people similarly situated to me are divorced and 2% of similar people will divorce in the next 5 years. Not bad. But when I put in the exact same set of information but said that I had no children, I found that 42% of similar people are divorced. Do you think that's because infertility is a massive stressor, or do you think that having children makes one more likely to stay married? 58% of the people in the same circumstances as dh are divorced, no data on the 5 year outlook for him. 43% for me, again no data on the 5 year statistics. It didn't ask if dh had kids. I wonder if that factor is not a limiting one for men like it might be for women. And for those who are "downrating" this thread, I think you might be missing the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted December 3, 2008 Author Share Posted December 3, 2008 Not so much to figure out if you are going to stay married, since we all live in participar circumstances that are impossible to replicate in a quiz. I think it's more to illustrate how statistically age of marriage and education levels affect divorce rates over large populations. But also, I think the website was divorce.com or divorcecare.com or something like that. So I would imagine that most people (not me!) who go there, are there because they are already in crisis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I got 53% and N/A. I am not sure what that means :001_huh: When I did it for my husband the answer was 33% and 6%. I also found it interesting that they only ask if there are children if you are female. I can't even begin to analyze what those results mean for my marriage:)Joy You know, I really don't think they mean *anything* for anyone's individual marriage. It think it is just a report of a population. Your numbers just mean that for people with the same circumstances, 53% of the population has divorced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 27% and 8% for me. 49% and 11% for dh. I say the future chance is 0%.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Or finances. With the country in recession, the divorce rate is sure to climb.:sad: The opposite is actually true - fewer people can afford to divorce!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 for me: already divorced 38% divorced within 5 years 10% for hubby: already divorced 31% divorced within 5 years 13% I highly doubt it's any MORE likely that hubby will be divorcing than me. Of course, it's just not likely regardless. I think we'd know by NOW if we even had a chance of divorcing. SOMETHING would already be "off." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 For me: 41% and N/A For dh: 21% and N/A So if we divorced, it would be me? since I'm 20% more likely to divorce than he is. Laughable! Whatever.... Married 23 years, 5 daughters, and still going strong. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura R (FL) Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I thought it was morbid, too. I went ahead and took it out of curiosity. Me: 19% 10% DH: 17% 1% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 55% N/A for me 44% N/A for dh. Doesn't surprise me. I know very few people our age who have been married as long as we have. (25 years) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Mine was LOW... People with similar backgrounds who are already divorced: 4% People with similar backgrounds who will be divorced over the next five years: 6% My dhs was just 2% higher on the people already divorced: People with similar backgrounds who are already divorced: 6% People with similar backgrounds who will be divorced over the next five years: 6% Now, for me, this was FUNNY...my EX husband and I...here are our numbers...HMMMMM! LOL ME People with similar backgrounds who are already divorced: 9% People with similar backgrounds who will be divorced over the next five years: 33% HIM People with similar backgrounds who are already divorced: 8% People with similar backgrounds who will be divorced over the next five years: 31% Guess we fall in that 8% and 9%...or actually we could even be the 31% and 33% because we have now been divorced for longer than we were married...married just over 3 years...divorced for almost 7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 (edited) For me: 41% and N/AFor dh: 21% and N/A So if we divorced, it would be me? since I'm 20% more likely to divorce than he is. Laughable! Whatever.... Married 23 years, 5 daughters, and still going strong. Janet Not you *personally*, no. Again, I think the point is being lost here. They are counting people who are already divorced, and there is not enough information to tell how likely or not people in your demographic are to divorce in the next five years. (And wouldn't it be that people in the general population who are in your demographic are *twice* as likely to be [already] divorced? I never was very good with percentages, though, so I might be looking at that wrong.) Edited December 3, 2008 by Pam "SFSOM" in TN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Not you *personally*, no. Again, I think the point is being lost here. (And wouldn't it be that people in the general population who are in your demographic are *twice* as likely to be [already] divorced? I never was very good with percentages, though, so I might be looking at that wrong.) Right Pam. That is how I'm seeing it too. So when we see that 55% of people in our demographic are already divorced we should be proud that we aren't one of them. Right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Right Pam. That is how I'm seeing it too. So when we see that 55% of people in our demographic are already divorced we should be proud that we aren't one of them. Right? Right! We're defying odds, some of us. And realizing how amazing it is to have made it this far in marriage, and how much dang work it is, and how HARD it is. Add in the knowledge that it simply is too hard for some couples, and impossible for others because of this or that or the other thing. It's not some sort of value judgment, either, it's just... it just *is*. The numbers are what they are for our population. It's not some smug notion on my part that I'm still married, not some sense of righteousness or holier-than-thou. More like luck, grace, commitment at the right times, a few miracles, stubbornness, some fear, forgiveness, and yes, some love (but not always). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 24% already divorced, 7% will get divorced in the next 5 yrs. I'm surprised it's so low. As to your q regarding children--sure, I think infertility is a huge stressor, but more than that, I think children make divorce harder. You have to think about who you're hurting if you leave, & there are these victims in the middle who are innocent & have completely won your heart. Plus, children make it logistically harder to leave. You have to think about childcare, extra income, etc. Or you have to think about leaving *them.* I know when I was younger it was easier to be flippant. If I got mad, I could have the fleeting thoughts of divorce, kwim? Now? There's no way I'm going to CHOOSE to raise 4 dc alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I thought it was interesting that wether or not you have children is factored into the woman's probability, but not the man's. It is safe to assume that equal numbers of fathers and mothers divorce so I wonder why it isn't a factor for the fathers. Yeah, I wonder that, too. I'm supposing that they didn't find it changed the results significantly for men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 It's not some sort of value judgment, either, it's just... it just *is*. The numbers are what they are for our population. It's not some smug notion on my part that I'm still married, not some sense of righteousness or holier-than-thou. More like luck, grace, commitment at the right times, a few miracles, stubbornness, some fear, forgiveness, and yes, some love (but not always). Yep. That sums up my looooooong marriage too. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 The opposite is actually true - fewer people can afford to divorce!:lol: :smilielol5: Well, I never thought about it that way!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 As to your q regarding children--sure, I think infertility is a huge stressor, but more than that, I think children make divorce harder. You have to think about who you're hurting if you leave, & there are these victims in the middle who are innocent & have completely won your heart. Plus, children make it logistically harder to leave. You have to think about childcare, extra income, etc. Or you have to think about leaving *them.* I know when I was younger it was easier to be flippant. If I got mad, I could have the fleeting thoughts of divorce, kwim? Now? There's no way I'm going to CHOOSE to raise 4 dc alone. I think Aubrey has hit the nail right here about why children aren't a factor for men. I think they might be going on the assumption that it's harder for a woman to leave a marriage when there's children involved than a man. PLEASE DON'T FLAME ME! I'M NOT SAYING THAT! - I just think that might be what the survey has found statistically. Women take the children into consideration when thinking about divorce, men don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I thought it was interesting that wether or not you have children is factored into the woman's probability, but not the man's. It is safe to assume that equal numbers of fathers and mothers divorce so I wonder why it isn't a factor for the fathers. . . . having children tends to motivate women to stay more than it does men? Maybe women with children think, "Well, then there's the children," and men with children just go on thinking what they woudda thunk anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephinAL Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 (edited) 60% and 13% for me 61% and 15% for dh After my dh finishes college it drops to 34% No big surprise there. The odds have always been stacked against us. When we had been married 4 years, we went to a marriage conference and the speaker said that according to our personality quizes, he didn't see how we were still married! Needless to say that wasn't a very beneficial conference for us. We were married really young and neither have finished college (although dh will very soon). We will be married 19 years this month. Edited December 3, 2008 by StephinAL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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