Catch Me Up--what's just not done for babies anymore?

[rebcoola]

J

14 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

Okay,  how are the car seats made now because my kids had reversal type seats but had to go to the front a little before 1 because they were too tall for the rear facing seats.  Their legs wouldn't fit/.

 

Also, is this stupid ban on blankets due to SIDS?  Most of the SIDS deaths were due to things like co-sleeping or actually sick children.  What are parents supposed to due- put kids in snow suits to be warm????  So at what age are blankets not discouraged????

As to not feeding food until 4-6 months- that was true even in 1989.  With each child, we started at 4 months because they were too hungry and more than 48oz of baby formula was not recommended.

I  don't really remember buttons even back in 89= lots of snaps and 

 

11 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

I think It was on this board, during a similar discussion, that someone mentioned that their go-to gift for new parents is rechargeable batteries and a charger. 😂 

 

52 minutes ago, TechWife said:

That would not have worked for my son. He needed to be swaddled for at least six months. He simply required the pressure to be able to sleep. He's had sensory issues all of his life and has ASD. He is an adult and sleeps with a weighted blanket. All of this is to say, listen to your baby and talk to your doctor if the standard recommendations don't work for your child. We had a lot of hints about the ASD from the very beginning, and this was one of them. The diagnosis wasn't made until he was 14 yo, which lost us a lot of valuable time.

I get you my oldest was swaddles so much.  She even had a swaddle thing for the car seat.  They do have cool things that zip up and allow some movement but still contained and miracle suits and sleep sacks with a weighted spot on the chest.  This baby made the transition fine so I didn't try them but they sure looked cool.

[kbutton]

I am really curious how they treat reflux since someone mentioned that reflux meds were less likely to be prescribed, and sleeping in a car seat is discouraged. I am also wondering if sleeping in a seat could be done safely if they seat had a special base for indoor use--I assume babies sometimes sleep in a stroller, perhaps even a stroller that has accommodates a car seat. 

The Nose Frida that was mentioned made me do a quick search and led to some interesting products by the same company (one for gas that was quite a surprise).

Developmental leaps--the emphasis on internal needs would've just left me out of step twice over. My kids were wildly different than the norm, and it was a long, lonely journey. I had to be extremely careful with what I would say about my own children, or people though I was nuts. My older child was so difficult that we finally sought professional help when he was 1 y.o. We were accused of lying, and we waited another 8 years before very cautiously seeking help again (my older son is profoundly gifted and has autism, but he compensates well enough that people didn't get it). I have PTSD about my children's early years. 

I also had no family nearby for support.

My kids are thriving now at 12 and 16, just in case people are wondering.

21 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I might be Grandma age, but I'm still young enough to remember my own earnestness with my babies.  I so appreciated older moms who came alongside me with empathy instead of condescension.  I do not have fond memories at all of some of the eye rolls and ridicule. 

ETA:  I had a lot of appreciation for my own mom who asked me what my own research had shown up (which she realized would be different from her own reading of Dr. Spock) and asked me how I wanted to handle other things that are individual choice like pacifiers etc. 

That is a nice way to approach things. My mom was careful about how she approached things too and was also supportive about giving context for my kids with remembering my own milestones. While my kids had more variations, they did develop closer to how I did as a child for at least the motor milestones. Had I lived closer to cousins when I had babies that might have helped also--some of them had extremely difficult kids with unusual needs and temperaments (also profoundly gifted).

 

20 hours ago, bensonduck said:

Huge plus: much much more focus on mom’s postpartum emotions. Received a screening at the hospital, at all pediatrician checkups and at my own PP checkup with my OB.  This can only help PP women!

I am curious what kind of support is offered. Identifying it is not enough. I am also curious if they distinguish now between anxiety and depression and if they do a more thorough screening for thyroid issues and such after birth. 

I was Dx with PPD, but it was really probably anxiety. I knew intuitively that my child was different and difficult, but everyone around me thought it was me. I don't doubt that hormones played a role, but my symptoms were more in keeping with thyroid plus anxiety. I was literally scared of being alone with my son because he was so intense, difficult, and capricious. He was extremely dis-regulated, didn't require much sleep (was a decent sleeper, just needed very little for a newborn), and was physically very capable and precocious. By three months, he could not be contained safely without being strapped into something (he rolled over the harder way regularly and frequently by two weeks old and those milestones just kept rolling right by at lightning speed). He understood a great deal of what was going on around him and regularly disliked it. He understood quite a lot of what was being said to him by 6 months, and if I didn't explain what was happening in great detail, he would be completely non compliant. 

I can't imagine a PPD screening that would've actually helped me short of someone actually seeing my child in action. Even at pediatrician visits, I had to be careful what I said lest I be seen as a liar and projecting something onto my child that wasn't realistic. 

16 hours ago, rebcoola said:

Swaddle is 6 weeks is basically because of precocious rollers.  They want you to stop before their is any chance of rolling or flipping.

I have always been quiet in baby groups in general because my babies are super easy.  They all have slept through the night between 6-8weeks. Breastfeed well but take the bottle when I'm gone with no issue and just in general are easy babies.  I know I don't do anything magical.  I was an exceptionally easy baby to so it must be genetic.

Precocious rolling at 6 weeks, lol! I feel vindicated about not swaddling my son longer--he was always sticking his arms and legs out, and now that I know it's not recommended once a baby can roll, my two weeks or so of trying was utterly reasonable considering that's when he was rolling over. 

I always appreciated it when moms who had easy babies would say so. I felt less like an utter failure.

13 hours ago, kesmom said:

Sleepers that zip from the bottom are popular.

That sounds nothing short of life-changing. Sometimes it's the little things that help so much!

3 hours ago, rjand6more said:

One of my favorite baby gifts was a homemade busy book. Kind of like this.

I am more than a little jealous of the busy book trend. I had to search high and low for those kind of things when my were little. 
 

1 hour ago, TechWife said:

That would not have worked for my son. He needed to be swaddled for at least six months. He simply required the pressure to be able to sleep. He's had sensory issues all of his life and has ASD. He is an adult and sleeps with a weighted blanket. All of this is to say, listen to your baby and talk to your doctor if the standard recommendations don't work for your child. We had a lot of hints about the ASD from the very beginning, and this was one of them. The diagnosis wasn't made until he was 14 yo, which lost us a lot of valuable time.

My ASD kiddo ended up sleeping on his belly quite early so that he could settle, but he could roll over both ways before we started this (started one direction at two weeks). Mine would not stay swaddled. We would have had to duct tape him into a blanket to keep his arms in, lol. 

Unfortunately, I couldn't talk to our pediatrician about my non-standard children. We eventually switched pediatricians, and the newer one was more laid back, but that also made him less likely to find individual differences something that required extra scrutiny. Our son was diagnosed at almost 9 by a educational psychologist who specialized in 2e kids. The pediatrician did refer us to a geneticist for my other son with a connective tissue disorder, but I had to point out the concerns and ask. 

1 hour ago, barnwife said:

Well, that's an opinion. And...facts just support it. Kids don't mind having their legs bent. And, given that many, many children now (well, not during a pandemic probably) do make trips like that, I will have to disagree that your kids couldn't have done it.

Re-carseats being rear-facing...My son literally can't sit with his legs crossed due to a connective tissue disorder (some people have tight spots to compensate for the loose ligaments, plus his hips go completely in and out of his hip sockets). His only comfortable sitting position outside of a regular, feet-on-the-floor, rear above the floor, chair is a squat or v-sitting (and v-sitting is terrible according to our PT). His connective tissue disorder also causes him to be unusually tall, with MUCH longer limbs than normal because his disorder causes bones to grow abnormally long. I can't fathom how he would've legally ridden rear-facing in a car past about 18 months. To squat in his seat while facing the rear of the car, the seat would've had to be able to accommodate his knees being alongside his head well past his ears (long shanks and long femurs), and most seats have those head rests on the sides. As it is, we struggled to find booster seats that had high enough holes for the shoulder harness--the holes were usually well below his shoulders in the back. He also has really big feet (longer bones in the feet and hands too, not just the legs), and I don't know how he would've wedged his feet between the booster seat and the car's back seat while being unable to sit with legs crossed. They would've had to be pointing toward the car's seat if he squatted. Maybe he would've needed to be in the lithotomy position with his legs outside of the seat, lol, probably kicking his brother. 😉 

I think if they are going to require kids to be rear-facing for so long, they need to design cars that have some rear-facing benches/seats for bigger kids so they can let their legs hang or put feet on the floor. I know some station wagons have an optional third row that faces the rear (our Volvo has this option), but the weight limits are usually too light for it to work with an older child and a toddler together on one bench.  

Edited June 20, 2020 by kbutton

[kbutton]

P.S. While my son has unusually long limbs and is tall for his age, he was always on the growth charts for height--his tallest so far was the 99th percentile. I have family members and friends with kids who leave the height charts in the dust--kids that were the size of a four year old at age 2. I once babysat a one year old girl that could rach halfway across a kitchen table while standing on the floor. I can't imagine what products work for that with rear-facing carseats.

Do these folks carry paperwork from their doctor, or do they just let people think their kids are older and hope they don't get asked their kids' ages if they get stopped? 

I don't disagree with safety, but I do think this seems to be a case where laws and expectations leave a lot of people without options. 

We seriously need to revamp allowing rollercoasters for 8 year olds that meet the height requirements considering what is expected in cars! 

[wendyroo]

4 hours ago, wilrunner said:

We made annual driving trips with 11-12 hours total time for 2 or 3 days in a row. We stopped at McD's for the kids to play, then back in the car they went to eat. It was too expensive to fly and rent a car on the other end. My kids couldn't have done that in a rear facing seat.

My kids do very similar trips a couple times a year, and we've kept all of them rear facing until about 3.5 years.  Not one of them has ever complained about sore legs while rear facing...forward facing, OTOH, all of them have complained about sore/tingly legs on longer rides since their feet don't rest on anything and their legs just dangle.

My kids have always been able to see out the window rear facing.  Toys also stay corralled in their laps better when they are rear facing as opposed to sliding on to the floor as soon as they aren't holding on like happens when they are forward facing.

None of my kids has ever minded ERF.  I think this is probably because DH and I view it as nonnegotiable, and therefore have always just treated it as The Way Things Are.  To this day my 11 year old says he wishes he could go back to rear facing; he says it is more comfortable and cozier.

[TravelingChris]

On 6/19/2020 at 10:04 AM, Momto6inIN said:

One thing that surprised me with my most recent baby was that they tell you not to let your baby sleep in the carseat unless they are actually in the car going somewhere. So you're supposed to wake them up and move them to the crib when you get home. My older kids almost didn't sleep in anything else til they were 3 months old, but with this baby they scared me enough to make me not let her do it. I always have tons of anxiety in the postpartum months, though, so maybe it's not actually that scary.

I used to have to drive my youngest around in a car to have her finally go to sleep.

[TravelingChris]

9 hours ago, TechWife said:

These have been around for generations. They are cute & effective for babies that don't need to be swaddled. 

See I would never use one of these.  I never had the kids in tradional children's pajamas because I never wanted flame resistant.  Yes, they do not flame up- instead they melt plastic on the children or adults.  

[TravelingChris]

23 hours ago, rebcoola said:

Swaddle is 6 weeks is basically because of precocious rollers.  They want you to stop before their is any chance of rolling or flipping.

 

The leaps or wonder weeks are about mentaldevelopment rather than motor development.  https://www.thewonderweeks.com/the-mental-leaps-and-wonder-weeks/. their is an app so you can be prepared. 

So it's kind of funny because talking about rolling or sitting everyone is quick to remind people that babies develop in the own time.  While simultaneously following this app so they know when these mental leaps will happen and they can be prepared for grumpy baby. I don't begrudge them and don't say anything negative.

I have always been quiet in baby groups in general because my babies are super easy.  They all have slept through the night between 6-8weeks. Breastfeed well but take the bottle when I'm gone with no issue and just in general are easy babies.  I know I don't do anything magical.  I was an exceptionally easy baby to so it must be genetic.

 

Yes,  all of mine slept through the night by 6 weeks too.  They all smiled earlier than it was said they should.  None of mine had colic but all got ear infections and when they had those, it was bad.  That was the driving around the youngest deal I mentioned above.

[Momto6inIN]

I have had 2 out of 6 babies who hate hate HATED riding in the car until they were able to face forwards. I don't know if they were carsick or what, but if they were awake, they would scream from the moment we strapped them in til the moment we took them out. It was ... unnerving, to put it gently. I often joked that if I got pulled over for speeding, no cop in the world would give me a ticket for wanting to get home more quickly once he heard that shrieking  🙄

I waited til they were 1 year old and 20 pounds (the old guidelines and what the car seat manufacturer said) and not one moment longer. When they could face forwards, they rode happily. I'm not saying my way is better, but just trying to explain why someone might decide not to follow the new guidelines. 

[Katy]

Swaddle Ups are zipper stretchy swaddles that babies can't escape from and that have their arms up by their faces.  Babies like this better, and they are less likely to flail or roll over so they become better sleepers.  Don't order them from Amazon if you can help it though, there have been fake versions sold there that have some safety issue with the zipper.

[EmseB]

When my 12yo was a baby they told me to avoid feeding common allergens until a certain age...like 9mos for dairy/yogurt, a year for peanuts, etc.

Now with my current baby the advice is to expose them with small amounts early and often.

[dirty ethel rackham]

On 6/19/2020 at 1:58 PM, Momto6inIN said:

I haven't heard of "leaps" but it sounds kinda like something DH has noticed as a pattern with all 6 of ours. When they are learning a new physical skill like rolling or sitting or crawling or walking, they sleep like crap. It's like when they reach the lighter part of their sleep cycle, they are driven to practice the skill and it wakes them up. I never would have put it together like that because I'm usually too busy in survival mode with the crappy nights, but once he pointed it out to me I could see the pattern too.

With my oldest, my husband noticed a phenomenon where this previously perfect sleeper would go on a 2-week jag of waking up several times a night.  When I had reached the end of my sleep-deprived limit ... BAM ... the kid would do some new milestone and then start sleeping normally.  My other two weren't great sleepers so we didn't notice this milestone thing.  

1 hour ago, Momto6inIN said:

I have had 2 out of 6 babies who hate hate HATED riding in the car until they were able to face forwards. I don't know if they were carsick or what, but if they were awake, they would scream from the moment we strapped them in til the moment we took them out. It was ... unnerving, to put it gently. I often joked that if I got pulled over for speeding, no cop in the world would give me a ticket for wanting to get home more quickly once he heard that shrieking  🙄

I waited til they were 1 year old and 20 pounds (the old guidelines and what the car seat manufacturer said) and not one moment longer. When they could face forwards, they rode happily. I'm not saying my way is better, but just trying to explain why someone might decide not to follow the new guidelines. 

2 of my kids hated the car and would scream until they turned purple and started choking.  I would pull over every 20 minutes to nurse the baby to calm us both down. It got so bad that we just didn't go anywhere that took longer than 15 minutes.  Back then, the recommendation was rear-facing until 1 year.  So we turned it around at about a year.  Then my screamers suddenly liked being in the car. 

My oldest was tall for his age ... 99th percentile.  I don't know if car seats are different now, but his knees were about at his ears by the time we turned him around at a year.  

I'm a rule follower (the laws of physics, not just some statutes) and we probably would have suffered another year if it had been the recommendation back then.  

[TravelingChris]

23 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

That is an excellent point.

When I go to baby showers, I usually bring clothes for older infant sizes instead of newborns.  It's always well received, and unlike a lot of the infant stuff, tends not to be outgrown in a couple of months.

But if I'm going to make something from scratch, handweaving or handknitting, it's in a whole different category.  I have never liked the hand made stuffed animals more than the store bought ones, but blankets and some toys (like soft blocks) can be waaaay better than store bought.  I need to think of more stuff like that to make.

My kids were all born small--- all in the 6lb range and all were growing in a manner that I had to quickly get infant and 3 month and 6 month clothes because they weren't filled out enough for 12 month clothes until they were a year old.  They grew taller more than they grew bigger

[kiwik]

No blankets? My kids would have frozen to death.  Well not quite literally but houses reqularly have ice on the inside of the windows in winter and it would be unusual for a bedroom to stay above 10 degrees Celsius at night.  

[kiwik]

2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

My kids were all born small--- all in the 6lb range and all were growing in a manner that I had to quickly get infant and 3 month and 6 month clothes because they weren't filled out enough for 12 month clothes until they were a year old.  They grew taller more than they grew bigger

My oldest was still in Newborn at 3 months then grew out of the next size in a couple of weeks.  He was born just under 7 pounds but didn't get back to birthright due to feeding and milk problems.  

[kiwik]

5 hours ago, EmseB said:

When my 12yo was a baby they told me to avoid feeding common allergens until a certain age...like 9mos for dairy/yogurt, a year for peanuts, etc.

Now with my current baby the advice is to expose them with small amounts early and often.

Yes it changed sometime between my 13 year old and 11 year old.

[Tanaqui]

7 hours ago, kiwik said:

No blankets? My kids would have frozen to death.  Well not quite literally but houses reqularly have ice on the inside of the windows in winter and it would be unusual for a bedroom to stay above 10 degrees Celsius at night.  

 

You're supposed to put them in very warm sleepsacks and, if the bedroom really is cold at night, invest in a space heater - but come to think of it, you're also supposed to keep the room on the cool side because overheating is associated with SIDS, isn't it? 50F isn't that cold to sleep if you are in a snuggly sleepsack and footie pajamas, with a sleep cap on.

[bolt.]

10 hours ago, kiwik said:

No blankets? My kids would have frozen to death.  Well not quite literally but houses reqularly have ice on the inside of the windows in winter and it would be unusual for a bedroom to stay above 10 degrees Celsius at night.  

You just use sleepers, blanket sleepers, and/or zip-on sleep sack -- or more than one if you need it. It's the detached-ness of blankets that is the identified problem, not the thickness, the warmth, or the number of layers. You can use any number of layers of warmth, as long as they are attached to the baby like clothing, instead of loose like bedding.

[bensonduck]

10 minutes ago, bolt. said:

You just use sleepers, blanket sleepers, and/or zip-on sleep sack -- or more than one if you need it. It's the detached-ness of blankets that is the identified problem, not the thickness, the warmth, or the number of layers. You can use any number of layers of warmth, as long as they are attached to the baby like clothing, instead of loose like bedding.

This. My oldest was a 5 pounder who struggled to stay warm that first winter. We used to dress her in a onesie, 2 sets of feety pajamas, a fleece sleep sack and a hat. She looked like a puff ball with all that clothing, but she was warm!

[bolt.]

Just now, bensonduck said:

This. My oldest was a 5 pounder who struggled to stay warm that first winter. We used to dress her in a onesie, 2 sets of feety pajamas, a fleece sleep sack and a hat. She looked like a puff ball with all that clothing, but she was warm!

We did that when we took infants camping or skiing. It's a cute look!

[kbutton]

4 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

You're supposed to put them in very warm sleepsacks and, if the bedroom really is cold at night, invest in a space heater - but come to think of it, you're also supposed to keep the room on the cool side because overheating is associated with SIDS, isn't it? 50F isn't that cold to sleep if you are in a snuggly sleepsack and footie pajamas, with a sleep cap on.

Hats never stayed on my kids. They would've been more dangerous than the blankets as much as my kids wriggled out of them. I don't think they needed them at night in our house though. 

[kiwik]

I did make a sleep sack for my oldest.  The only ones available to buy would have been two expensive for most people though there are more options now.  I did also run a heater all night in the house my eldest was a baby but it was still very cold.  But many people here can't afford to run heating more than a few hours a day (when my kids were little I turned the heating in the lounge off as soon as they were in bed and only allowed an hour in the morning).  We were told to put the baby so their feet were at the end of the cot and the blankets tight and not up round their neck.  I think for most people in NZ the risk caused by doing that is less than the risks posed by damp cold housing.

Edited June 21, 2020 by kiwik

[vonfirmath]

On 6/19/2020 at 2:07 PM, Momto6inIN said:

Sorry for the multiple posts but I keep thinking of more things LOL

Amber teething necklaces are a thing now.

Amber teething necklaces have been a thing since my almost-13 year old was an infant. I'm unconvinced. I had one for my daughter but I never saw a big difference using it.

 

[vonfirmath]

On 6/20/2020 at 11:18 AM, wilrunner said:

We made annual driving trips with 11-12 hours total time for 2 or 3 days in a row. We stopped at McD's for the kids to play, then back in the car they went to eat. It was too expensive to fly and rent a car on the other end. My kids couldn't have done that in a rear facing seat.

My kids did just that in rear-facing seats -- both of them last until almost age 4. The first I moved beacause he outgrew the seat rear-facing. The second was closest to outgrowing the seat rear-facing and some kid in the McDonald's window made fun of her rear-facing and for some reason that was the last straw for me because I changed her seat around a couple of weeks later. Neither kid ever complained about rear-facing (Even when one was rear-facing and the other forward in a booster).  In fact they both had a little trouble figuring out what to do with their legs once they moved forward since we didn't want them resting them on the back of the forward seats.

 

[Tanaqui]

Honestly, I would've complained, vonfirmath. You're not supposed to make fun of other people's kids in the car, especially not when - as I'm reading this - they're the customer and you're the drive-through guy.

[Terabith]

21 minutes ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

All I can see is choking hazard.  We aren't supposed to put things around baby's neck.  I thought that was well established.

I’ve had crunchy friends who the mom wore the teething necklace around her neck and baby gnawed on it while nursing.  And I’ve known toddlers who had them, like two year olds.  My kids had dress up Mardi Gras type necklaces by that age, so it felt more okay than when I’ve seen teething necklaces on seven month olds.  

[Momto6inIN]

1 hour ago, vonfirmath said:

Amber teething necklaces have been a thing since my almost-13 year old was an infant. I'm unconvinced. I had one for my daughter but I never saw a big difference using it.

 

Really? I hadn't heard of them until a few years ago. I'm not convinced either.

1 hour ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

All I can see is choking hazard.  We aren't supposed to put things around baby's neck.  I thought that was well established.

That's what I think too. I thought about getting one for my most recent DD as a last ditch effort hoping it would help her sleep. But then I read that they aren't recommended to be worn when sleeping and that was kinda my whole point in trying them out, so I didn't.

57 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I’ve had crunchy friends who the mom wore the teething necklace around her neck and baby gnawed on it while nursing.  And I’ve known toddlers who had them, like two year olds.  My kids had dress up Mardi Gras type necklaces by that age, so it felt more okay than when I’ve seen teething necklaces on seven month olds.  

I have friends who use them and their kids never take them off. Like, never, for the first few years until their molars are in. Bathing, sleeping, they wear them all the time. IMO, I think they make the moms feel better that they're doing something about cranky kids, but that's about it.

[vonfirmath]

17 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

Honestly, I would've complained, vonfirmath. You're not supposed to make fun of other people's kids in the car, especially not when - as I'm reading this - they're the customer and you're the drive-through guy.

Probably I should have but with both kids in the car -- and trying to get to another location on time -- it wasn't on my radar. I figured they were teenagers and I certainly didn't understand parenting and the choices made when I was a teenager!

 

[BusyMom5]

On 6/20/2020 at 8:42 PM, Momto6inIN said:

I have had 2 out of 6 babies who hate hate HATED riding in the car until they were able to face forwards. I don't know if they were carsick or what, but if they were awake, they would scream from the moment we strapped them in til the moment we took them out. It was ... unnerving, to put it gently. I often joked that if I got pulled over for speeding, no cop in the world would give me a ticket for wanting to get home more quickly once he heard that shrieking  🙄

I waited til they were 1 year old and 20 pounds (the old guidelines and what the car seat manufacturer said) and not one moment longer. When they could face forwards, they rode happily. I'm not saying my way is better, but just trying to explain why someone might decide not to follow the new guidelines. 

This was my last baby- she would scream until she puked.  We seriously skipped a Christmas thing bc I could not handle it!  We have to drive an hour to the store, so shes in the car a lot.  I turned her about 18 months, after cleaning out puke at Co-op and someone mentioned that it was okay to turn her if it was this bad!  Shes still a car hater, but no more puking.  Instead of an hour of screaming, its usually only about 20-30 minutes.  Less if I can get a movie that she likes playing.

I've got older kids, and a 2 year old.  Some of my favorite new things:  pacifier thermometer,  muslin bib with a teether attached, muslin swaddle blankets, Nose Frida (if needed, we never needed it, but I got one bc it looks so handy), mini PnP that I used the first few weeks by my bed.  Also cool, if BFing, they have these inserts you can put in your bra to catch the extra from the opposite side.  I could easily get a few oz of milk most feedings- plus less mess- by using these.  Insert the milk catcher thing on one side, secured in place just with your bra- feed baby from opposite side, then take the milk catcher out when baby switches sides.  

Old favorites- good Chinese prefolds for everything!  Perfect for spit up, crazy milk going everywhere feedings,  changing pad protection, oh- and a diaper if you need one.  Every mom needs 6-8 of the bigger sized ones IMO.  

Whomever the new mom is, be sure to encourage her to listen to herself and her baby.  Parenting books are well intentioned,  but she is given a special human with his own needs.  My babies did not behave like the books said- with the first one I felt like I was doing it all wrong until my pediatrician told me to stop reading about the average baby and listen to my baby.  She was so intense!  She was awake 8 hours a stretch literally from DAY 1!!!  No sleeping baby, more like hours trying to get her to take a nap.  Very early milestones- rolling by 6 weeks, walking by 8 months.  Hyper alert!  With my other babies I spent more of my pregnancy wondering about their personality that what they would look like 😉

[Arcadia]

On 6/20/2020 at 12:04 PM, kbutton said:

Do these folks carry paperwork from their doctor, or do they just let people think their kids are older and hope they don't get asked their kids' ages if they get stopped? 

DS15 was rearfaced in his hypercheap car seat to one year old because our only car is a Corolla and DS14 is rear faced as the newborn. I was sitting in between two car seats. DS15 can pass of for one to three years older by height (and he rarely smiles at strangers so his face looks older too).

We have been stopped for speeding when my kids were 4 and 3 and the traffic police was just seeing if my kids were in cars seats. CHP (California highway patrol) has seen little kids dancing in minivans on I5 and US101. They aren’t as particular about not so accurate/perfect use of car seat. 

[kbutton]

11 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Are you asking about RFing to age 2 or something else?

Car seat usage is based on height/weight mainly. I think of age as more a broad way of ballparking the height/weight but also the maturity. So if a child has literally outgrown the dimensions of the car seat, no, they cannot use it. Regardless of age. 

I have tall kids. Dh is 6' 5.5". Dd is 5 and rear facing in an Extend 2 Fit. The head piece moves up. Nevermind the foot panel that extends. We don't even have it extended because of the passenger seat in front of her.

Remember, car seat height issues really depend on the torso height... legs don't really factor in. Kids can have long legs and bend them or fold them. You would factor in legs like when deciding to move to a seat belt only. You want their feet to land on the floor of the car. But generally, when people worry about height issues they are thinking about long legs, which is pretty moot. 

https://thecarseatlady.com/high-weight-height-rear-facing-seats

I am asking about it all--I am sure they have more kinds of car seats available than when my kids were little. 

The legs are not moot for everyone though. As I stated previously, my son with a connective tissue disorder literally CANNOT sit with his legs crossed, and his legs are so long that he probably couldn't sit in a squat position in his seat either because the headrests would've been in the way. I do see in the pictures that one kid (leopard tights) sits with her legs outside the seat, which would've been very bad for my son also--it's like W sitting without the pressure. Kids who have longer legs and bigger feet than her would be W sitting. 

I am concerned about the trend creating hardship, and it seems far easier with the popularity of SUVs and cross overs (that often have seats that do all kinds of things) to offer a way for the vehicle seats to face the rear (like the third row seats that are available in some station wagons), then taller kids could be safer as well even after outgrowing the seat. Those seats would also have to be able to have a higher weight limit; currently the Volvo we drive that has a third row rear-facing seat option has too low of a weight limit to get two kids on it at the same time, particularly if there is much of an age spread.

ETA: personally, one of my pet peeves for safety is a lot of stuff floating around untethered in the car itself. We try really hard to strap things into seats if we have to fill the car up. 

Edited June 25, 2020 by kbutton
added comment

[rebcoola]

I think if you dig into most of the laws have a clause about meeting the manufacturers standards.  So if you truly have exceptionally huge child you could turn them around.