Anxiety - HELP!!!

[Just Kate]

I have been dealing with anxiety.  I’ve always been a worrier, but it seems to have grown into full-blown anxiety over the past several months.

Lately, I’ve been allowing small worries to grow into giant fears. I’m terrified of making a mistake at work and if I do something wrong, I play it over and over in my head. The funny thing is that I’ve worked in my industry for 19 years and at my actual place of employment for 14+ years. You would think I would be more confident...but I am becoming more and more unsure of myself and my abilities.

My kids are 12 and 15 and the worries that I have for them are never-ending. Everything seems to matter SO MUCH right now. Grades, friends, decisions - they all have such huge implications! I’m so worried that I may not be guiding them in the right direction, that I may not be giving enough discipline (or too much), that I’m just messing this whole parenting thing up.

I am hitting my mid-forties, so I know that hormones could be playing a role here. I’m not opposed to taking medication, but I’d like to see if there are some things I could do on my own first that may help - maybe vitamins or supplements? I eat a low-ish carb diet and feel pretty good, but I know that I need to add exercise, but when??

If you have any thoughts or suggestions I’d love to hear them. Right now, I just feel a bit crazy in my head. I know I  turning small things into giant things, but I just don’t know how to stop. 

[itsheresomewhere]

Schedule a well check complete with blood work.  Some vitamins being off can play with it well along with undiagnosed issues.  For my DD,  we were doing well after talking to her doctor about trying 5THP along with a therapy and exercise program.  But due to an injury and illness, we had to try a medication( very small dose).  Once she is cleared to return to normal activities, our hope is that the medication use will not have to be continued. 

Edited October 9, 2019 by itsheresomewhere

[happi duck]

(hugs)

Anxiety rules my life.  It is a beast.  The things I know that help are out of my grasp at the moment.  However...

When I can pull it together enough to try the info in this book is helpful to me: Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by E. Bourne https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=asc_df_1626252157/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=266076169372&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16281968083907402131&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-433878636445&psc=1

[Arctic Bunny]

Lots of people will have good advice for you. I just wanted to give you a virtual hug, and commiserate with you! 

Just the other day, I was telling DH how DS14 had noticed that he couldn’t watch one of the Jurassic Park movies on his Netflix account, and I said something to DH that it must be rated higher than the account restrictions I have on there, and how I couldn’t figure out how to change his without changing the whole thing, etc. It ended with DH reassuring me that we have good kids, etc. Which is true! But then I started thinking.... do I give them unrestricted Netflix because they’re good kids I can trust? Or are they good kids I can trust because I didn’t give them unrestricted Netflix? And if I give them unrestricted Netflix, is it the beginning of the end? What’s next? Anyway, these thoughts can consume you at midnight!

As far as finding time to exercise, I never found the time as a SAHM. A couple of months ago, I started using my lunch hour at work to use the office gym. However, I think now that the kids are teens, it would be easier to exercise at home with them, because we could actually work out together, instead of convincing my self that walking around while they are doing their activity is good enough, then not even doing that!

I find using visualization relaxing podcast meditations to go to sleep very helpful in turning off the thoughts. I like “Tracks to Relax” guided sleep meditations.

[PeterPan]

23 minutes ago, Just Kate said:

I’ve always been a worrier, but it seems to have grown into full-blown anxiety over the past several months.

You need to see your GP, get your bloodwork run. Maybe your b vitamins are low.

For me, things that help (in no particular order).

-genetics--screen for TPH2 defect and take 5HTP if needed

-split pea soup-eat 2-3 cups daily for a week and you may feel more chilled, something in the chemistry, a nutritionist had me do it

-oatmeal every morning (I didn't say I'm normal, haha)

-mindfulness/body scans--but honestly, I have to do it for longer, like 30-40 minutes or multiple times a day in increments of 5, to make a difference. But absolutely, yeah it puts me in a better place

-exercise, especially anything with weight. And doing the steam room after exercie.

I had a point where tension was just really, really high. We were bringing in lawyers for an IEP fight, a lot of money on the line, and my brain would do that. It was very hard on my health, so I had pneumonia and bronchitis recurring, etc. It was a mess! And I think for temporary stress, it's not astonishing to have symptoms. But worrying about our kids is normal stress. That's when I would be checking my bloodwork, doing the mindfulness, running genetics, talking with a counselor, doing some self-care.

Do you get massage? Do you talk with a counselor about it? Are you exercising 2-3X a week with light cardio?

You HAVE to take care of yourself. You're coming into the harder years, where there's a lot a mom can worry about, and we have to take care of ourselves to feel well and calm through that. It doesn't happen by accident.

Adding: I just saw you're working a job too! And you're saying you don't have time to exercise because of that? Exercise would help your stress, yes. Start very small. What you might do is do it on the way home from work. Like get a Y membership and go walk for 30 minutes. You can pray, do body scans, pay attention to your breathing, hit the steam room. It will help. You might also need some help with supplements like the 5HTP, genetics to help you pinpoint, etc., but yeah just add some exercise. Walking would be enough. And our Y has a steam room. 

Edited October 9, 2019 by PeterPan

[bodiesmom]

I notice a difference in my anxiety levels when I keep my vitamin d and b's at optimal levels 🙂

[Pen]

I also need to keep my vitamins, especially B  D, optimum.

plus some added supplements 

keeping completely gluten free (and low grain, low processed foods etc) also seems to help in my case 

[Chris in VA]

I try grounding when I'm panicky. I think of and visualize 5 red objects and say them outloud. They have to be actual things I have seen (makes my brain work harder), so, for instance, not any stop sign, but one I actally know of. Then 5 blue, 5 yellow...usually by then I am calmer. 

I also brain dump before bed, writing down everything for tomorrow as well as any worries. Prayer helps a bit, too, but often revs me up more and I end up crying--which can be cathartic but I don't want to cry all the time during my day. 

Good sleep, low sugar/steady blood sugar, and vitamins plus magnesium seem to help. 

It got bad last year, with me not able to leave the apartment easily. 

Hang in there. 

[Nicholas_mom]

Yes, peri/menopause - has a slew of these that I am currently going through it, as well.  I get a couple of panic attacks during the day and night.  There is book called "The Hormone Fix" which has ideas which I learned from this website: https://drannacabeca.com/pages/about-dr-anna-cabeca   

I bought the book from Amazon so I haven't read it yet, but her website has a wealth of information while I wait for the book.   On her website, click on her "Blog" and under "hormones" is articles on anxiety and stress.  

Edited October 9, 2019 by Nicholas_mom

[unsinkable]

I have No advice. But lots of sympathy

I call it my Gerbil Wheel of Worry.

[Just Kate]

Thanks so much, everyone! I am going to my doctor for bloodwork tomorrow morning (my dr had actually put in an order for bloodwork during my appt last month, but I never went). Is there anything I should be specifically looking for there?

I don’t currently take any vitamins because I never feel confident in what I should be taking. I probably need a basic multi-vitamin and probably some Vit D3. I’ll try to research what else. 

I’m going to attempt to try to exercise, but other than walking my dog, I’m not even sure what to do. 

[Just Kate]

1 minute ago, happysmileylady said:

If you are already walking the dog, then start small.  First, look at how long you are already walking the dog.  Once you know it's like....say 15 minutes around the block...try to add just a little bit in.  Maybe something as small as walking around a cul de sac that you normally skip.  Try adding a little bit, like 5 or 10 minutes, each week.  If you can work up to say, 45 minutes, from say 15.....then that can help.

 

 

Thanks! I’ll give this a try!

I really hope that I can find a way to deal with this, as I don’t know that I’m going to be able to keep working my stressful job, along with raising two teens, if I keep feeling this way. ☹️

[Arctic Bunny]

7 minutes ago, Just Kate said:

Thanks so much, everyone! I am going to my doctor for bloodwork tomorrow morning (my dr had actually put in an order for bloodwork during my appt last month, but I never went). Is there anything I should be specifically looking for there?

I don’t currently take any vitamins because I never feel confident in what I should be taking. I probably need a basic multi-vitamin and probably some Vit D3. I’ll try to research what else. 

I’m going to attempt to try to exercise, but other than walking my dog, I’m not even sure what to do. 

I have started with free stuff... because why not! I began with the “Daily Yoga” app. Then I started looking for something more... exercise-y. I have been using the NTC (Nike Training Club) app. It’s all free. You can start a “Plan” or just pick workouts. You can filter by equipment (none to full gym and everything in between), time (15-45 min), level (beginner-advanced), intensity, and more.

I spent a lot of time researching how to get started on exercising. The NTC app let me just get started already and do *something*, which, I hope, is a lot better then researching.

[maize]

How are you sleeping? Do you dim lights and screens and use blue light filters and amber bulbs or blue blocking glasses in the evening? Get bright light in the morning and middle of the day? Living mostly indoors under artificial lights can mess with our brains and bodies, including our emotions.

[PeterPan]

13 minutes ago, Just Kate said:

I’m going to attempt to try to exercise, but other than walking my dog, I’m not even sure what to do. 

If you join the Y, they will have both paid trainers and a free service for wellness consulting. The free service will show you things they offer and get to know you and make basic suggestions. Like with me, they were really generic and encouraging, like try walking in water while wearing a belt or try doing 30 minutes on machines as 10-10-10. The Y has tvs in their fitness rooms, so 3 tvs, 3 machines. I got caught up on all my tv and got fit, haha.

[PeterPan]

1 minute ago, arctic_bunny said:

Yoga

Yes! And the Y may have yoga or pilates classes. 

Part of the reason I keep suggesting the Y is it doesn't get nixed with the weather and allows you to make friends. Friends are good for your social and they'll keep you coming back. 

But truly, do anything that calls to you. Nothing too wild or ambitious, just a change, a little something extra, something that you think would work for you. That's where the wellness consultants at the Y are nice, because they can help you sort through what you might like.

[happi duck]

30 minutes ago, Just Kate said:

Thanks so much, everyone! I am going to my doctor for bloodwork tomorrow morning (my dr had actually put in an order for bloodwork during my appt last month, but I never went). Is there anything I should be specifically looking for there?

I don’t currently take any vitamins because I never feel confident in what I should be taking. I probably need a basic multi-vitamin and probably some Vit D3. I’ll try to research what else. 

I’m going to attempt to try to exercise, but other than walking my dog, I’m not even sure what to do. 

The book I linked above has info on vitamins.

Eta: your library may have it, even a previous edition would be helpful

Edited October 9, 2019 by happi duck

[gardenmom5]

look at ways to lower/support healthy cortisol/adrenals levels.  (I'm allergic to holy basil leaf, but most people aren't and it can be very helpful as an ingredient in an adrenal support sup.)  I take a combination of Ashwagandha/relora/L-theanine.  4x per day.  I'll slip in an extra dose or two if needed.

yoga.  yoga by adreanne is on youtube. free.  even if you just do a very basic 20 minute practice (preferable at least 3 - 4 times per week), it can help to calm the sympathetic nervous system (stimulates fight or flight) access the parasympathetic nervous system -(calming).  most forms of exercise stimulate the sympathetic nervous system.

yoga breathing/ SRI - Somato Respiratory Integration techniques.  maybe about five - ten minutes a day.

[gardenmom5]

for stress - you need b-vitamins.  they're water soluble.  you don't store them. Make sure you get bioavailable molecular forms.

[bethben]

I had bad anxiety when I was in my mid 30s.  I actually went on a prescription for anxiety because it was affecting my sleep.  It calmed my brain down and for the first time I realized how warped my thoughts had become.  I knew they were irrational mentally, but somehow when I was on the anti-anxiety medication, I was able to feel it.  I was shocked to realize that "normal" people could think calmly most of the day.  Now, I am almost 50.  I am having some panic moments that I am learning to attribute to perimenopause.  They don't happen all the time and I am able to recognize that they will go away in a few days/week.  That being said, I too take Ashwaganda in a tincture form 3X a day and it does help.  It takes some time to adjust the anxiety levels though.  I, like others, take a B complex - methylated form.  I'm not anti-anxiety drugs, but do try to exhaust all possibilities before I go that direction.  It's not a horrible direction if you need it.  

[Pen]

Supplements: look at Inositol and NAC in addition to vitamins.  

I sometimes need 1.5 or double dose of B vitamins to feel right.  

Plus sometimes extra B12.  And almost daily take 1tsp to 2tbsp of Inositol (which is in Bcomplex group, but technically can be made by body so not a “vitamin” required from outside, but I clearly do better with a lot more). And often some choline, especially if I’m not eating eggs which would otherwise be my main choline source.

I have used Cronometer app to help track if there are basic vitamins and minerals I am low in via my food intake, even by ordinary RDA standards.  Quite aside from what I may not absorb well or be depleting more of due to stress or whatever. 

[Just Kate]

On 10/9/2019 at 2:56 PM, maize said:

How are you sleeping? Do you dim lights and screens and use blue light filters and amber bulbs or blue blocking glasses in the evening? Get bright light in the morning and middle of the day? Living mostly indoors under artificial lights can mess with our brains and bodies, including our emotions.

 

Just getting back to this thread!

I actually sleep okay. I fall asleep quickly and usually don’t wake up in the middle of the night. BUT I fall asleep listening to either a podcast or a show on Netflix every night. If I don’t...my mind starts going and I can’t fall asleep. I do realize that this probably isn’t good for me. 

[maize]

3 minutes ago, Just Kate said:

 

Just getting back to this thread!

I actually sleep okay. I fall asleep quickly and usually don’t wake up in the middle of the night. BUT I fall asleep listening to either a podcast or a show on Netflix every night. If I don’t...my mind starts going and I can’t fall asleep. I do realize that this probably isn’t good for me. 

I fall asleep every night listening to an audiobook. I don't think listening is unhealthy; much better than either watching a screen or chasing down racing thoughts.

[Just Kate]

On 10/9/2019 at 3:22 PM, gardenmom5 said:

for stress - you need b-vitamins.  they're water soluble.  you don't store them. Make sure you get bioavailable molecular forms.

 

Any specific brand recommendations? This is why I don’t take vitamins...I get overwhelmed looking for the “right” kind. 

[Just Kate]

I just got my bloodwork results back from my doctor and it doesn’t appear that they tested for vitamin d or b deficiency. ☹️

I’d like to start taking both. Specific recommendations or suggestions on what I should look for when purchasing?

[Harriet Vane]

I know you've already been to the doctor, but I'll suggest another possibility anyway.

When I struggled with overwhelming anxiety, it turned out that I was anemic. My hemoglobin was borderline, and my ferritin was extremely low. Aggressive iron supplementation was life changing for me. It took about eight months to nudge that ferritin score into the normal range. I took supplemental iron for years.

Make sure you get a FULL iron panel and not just hemoglobin--you can be anemic even if your hemoglobin is within "normal" range.

Too much iron is poisonous, so this is one you would want to get tested before trying supplementation.

[Pen]

34 minutes ago, Just Kate said:

 

Any specific brand recommendations? This is why I don’t take vitamins...I get overwhelmed looking for the “right” kind. 

 

You didn’t ask me, but I have quite a a few brands I like 🙂 : 

Thorne and Emerald and ? Minitabs for multi vitamins

Emerald and Country Life for BComplex

Country Life for Bone Solid mixture of minerals plus

Carlsson for D3

Life Extension for K and Neuromag 

NOW or a bulk brand for powdered Inositol

NOW for Inositol / Choline caps mixture

Jarrow for methyl cobalamin lozenge or ? For B12 liquid drops

Source Naturals for NAC

 

[happi duck]

3 hours ago, Harriet Vane said:

I know you've already been to the doctor, but I'll suggest another possibility anyway.

When I struggled with overwhelming anxiety, it turned out that I was anemic. My hemoglobin was borderline, and my ferritin was extremely low. Aggressive iron supplementation was life changing for me. It took about eight months to nudge that ferritin score into the normal range. I took supplemental iron for years.

Make sure you get a FULL iron panel and not just hemoglobin--you can be anemic even if your hemoglobin is within "normal" range.

Too much iron is poisonous, so this is one you would want to get tested before trying supplementation.

I'm not the op but I'm anxious and have low vitamin d and iron.  I take a vitamin d supplement but I think I need to get my iron up.

Thanks for sharing!

[prairiewindmomma]

You want your vitamin D3 to be in an oil base. I just use the stuff from Costco. It’s dirt cheap, and I get it tested every 3 months so I know it works. I have to avoid sunlight due to medication I am on, so I take 4000IU a day to stay at an optimal range.

I use Costco’s B spectrum as well, and my B levels show it.

I agree about checking ferritin and hemoglobin both.

For some people, chronic inflammation in the body also causes psych issues. Some good quality fish oil would also be something I recommend.

I give l-Theanine to a couple of my kids. One has a Rx for clonidine to take a bedtime because the sleep/anxiety issues were huge. It’s not needed all the time, but it’s nice to have on hand.

Do what you need to to get your body under control so that your cognitive efforts can work. 🙂 

[gardenmom5]

6 hours ago, Just Kate said:

 

Any specific brand recommendations? This is why I don’t take vitamins...I get overwhelmed looking for the “right” kind. 

I like Emerald Laboratories B-healthy.  it's available on amazon subscribe and save (at a discount).

6 hours ago, Just Kate said:

I just got my bloodwork results back from my doctor and it doesn’t appear that they tested for vitamin d or b deficiency. ☹️

I’d like to start taking both. Specific recommendations or suggestions on what I should look for when purchasing?

most people are deficient for D3 - blood level of 50 is now considered the base.  My NDs have preferred closer to 80.   D3 is pretty standard, and most drops/ gel tabs are fine (no capsules) - though higher quality oils will be more absorbed than cheaper oil as a base.  For some - vitamin K will help the D3 be absorbed.

 

[Pen]

K2 along with D3 is believed to help calcium go to teeth and bones where it belongs, rather than calcifying places like arteries. 

[Pen]

Magnesium balance also is important in anxiety 

[PeterPan]

8 hours ago, Just Kate said:

it doesn’t appear that they tested for vitamin d or b deficiency.

You can run them yourself through healthcheckusa.com They'll cost more than if your insurance covered them, but you'll get done exactly what you want.

If you've been wanting to do 23andme anyway, you could do that and run the raw data through knowyourgenetics.com That way you can see if you need special forms of the B, etc. or if any old form will work.

When when you take the D, you might take some K2 with it for absorption. I use a D in oil gel caps (because it's oil soluble and seems to work better) and this K2 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07G3BM83Z/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

http://www.foodform.com/cart/product.php?productid=16189  This is the B I use. When you don't know your genetic status, just a nice, food based vitamin might be the ticket. I've used this one for many years on the advice of a nutritionist. I take 2 a day, one at breakfast and one at lunch. I don't feel well on inexpensive B supplements, but it turns out I have a mild MTHFR defect that we didn't realize till we tested. 

If you run the genetics, the vitamin D issues will show up (VDR=vitamin D receptor gene), but also another nifty gene to look at is TPH2. It affects conversion of tryptophan to 5HTP, so when it's glitched the things the 5HTP should lead to (melatonin, serotonin) get glitched. So 5HTP was a huge breakthrough for emotional stuff in our house, huge, and it's something you can see in the genetics.