fairfarmhand Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 A person I was friends with kind of dumped me. Vague reasons “the kids are feeling kind of awkward” “growing up” “life heading in other directions “ it still hurts. This person does this. I know that’s how they’ve operated for years. Still stings. I don’t know why. They just are restless and don’t do long term relationships. Blah 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said: That always feels icky, I had someone do that to me (except more ghosting and less explanation) and it still smarts to think about, even several years later. I had this too. This was over 10 years ago and I still miss that friendship - until I think about the way the person ended it. Sometimes Sorry, Fair, it hurts even if you know it typical of the person! Edited June 28, 2019 by marbel 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Sorry. I've been there before. One of my closest friends just stopped calling and responding to my calls once. I know for certain nothing happened between us, she was just that type of person. I had watched her do it to so many people before me and was actually expecting our friendship to end that way. It still hurt when it happened though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 iI'm so sorry. It stings. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 28, 2019 Author Share Posted June 28, 2019 4 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said: I'm sorry. 😞 You'll probably never know why, and, if your friend just ended it that way with no explanation, it probably doesn't matter. If you feel it wasn't you, then move on and don't let that put weight on your shoulders. It's one of those things you can't change, so it's best to try to let go of it and find a different direction. I know this is hard and much, much easier said than done. Intellectually I’m there. But I hear of mutual friends getting the invites and the phone calls and such and it’s...hard. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Sorry, I know the feeling. The friend in my life has been doing this weird you are our dearest friends one minute then can’t be bothered the next. I think we finally are done. I am sad but it’s been exhausting. For the record I have watched that friend do it with many before me and suspected I was nearing my no longer useful date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 I'm so sorry. The same thing happened to me decades ago (college roommate and BFF all 4 years of school, then POOF I was apparently no longer useful) and it still rankles me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 It's happened to me, too. And, yeah, it was a pattern with them. If it helps, I put my energy into another friend who was much more a friend of the heart. I hope you find that person, too. But,yeah, particularly when the "friend" is social and a doer and a lot of fun, it can be really hard to lose that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 It sucks. I got dumped from my last in person friends in town last October during the Kavanaugh hearings over my political stances. It really sucks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 I’m sorry 😕. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 I’ve been there. It is truly amazing just how bad it hurts. One time it was a true heartfelt bestie. There was a misunderstanding and it was eventually resolved. But oh so painful at the time. The other time it was more just that the person was fun and would always make sure I was included in things and I always had someplace to go and people to socialize with. It was not the same heartbreak but still a loneliness. Rejection stinks! I always kind of beat myself up for being so upset and letting another woman hurt me like that. Reading here over the years I saw I was not alone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 That stinks. I’m sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 So sorry. I realized the same thing when I got dumped by a friend. I was like, “Hmmm...well, I guess I saw her do this with her friend, Sue, and her friend Grace and her friend Nancy...I guess I always knew this is what she does.” But yes, it still stings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 (edited) From what I know of you here on the boards, I can't imagine the problem is with you. I know it hurts. A long-time friend dumped me when we were in high school and basically cut off contact, and I never really understood exactly why. Even now, years later, I still want to say, "Why did you do that? What in the world?" It's not that we had a lot in common or that I even think we would still be close friends. It just seems like such a strange thing to do. Hugs to you! Edited June 29, 2019 by MercyA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 29, 2019 Author Share Posted June 29, 2019 I totally understand life taking people in different directions. That's happened before. And the relationships kind of just slowly fade. This is really the first time that someone was perfectly fine one week and a few weeks later was telling me "Thanks but no thanks." In all my other friendships, I've been able to disagree, reconcile differences, be hurt, hurt someone else's feelings, annoy them, have them annoy me, and we got through it. I'm open to confrontation. I'm willing to apologize. Have done it readily. So I know it wasn't necessarily me. Why does it hurt? My brain knows the truth. My feelings don't. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 29, 2019 Author Share Posted June 29, 2019 5 hours ago, Indigo Blue said: Wow. I am so sorry. Maybe it would help to stay away from social media for awhile and do something nice for yourself. It's not social media. It's just...word gets around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 I've had this happen to me quite a few times. I've heard: "kids are growing up and in different directions" "no longer homeschool and you do" "we still homeschool and your dc are graduates" "crazy busy" "some friendships are just for a season" There are other reasons and excuses too. It still hurts when a long time friendship just drifts away. Friendships, like any relationships, take work. They don't just coast along and remain healthy without some effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 I'm so sorry. I lost a friendship a few years ago, too, and it sucks. I hope you're able to heal from this; take the time to grieve a bit as needed, but keep moving forward, hard as it may feel. ((((hugs))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 So many hugs going out to you. It's not easy when it happens naturally; it's so much harder when it happens like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 I’m sorry this happened to you. i think your post influenced my dream last night. I dreamt of old friends, one who was really close and dropped me for illogical reasons- I didn’t do anything, her kids did, I didn’t care, other friends did, but she took it out on me. Anyway, those old friends were in my dream getting together without inviting me and I found out by being at the same place at the same time. Reading the thread this morning, I think I had that dream because your post unconsciously reminded me of that. It really hurts to go through and makes it tougher to befriend a close friend again. (((Hugs to you))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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