Do you expect your kids to work quietly?

[Cecropia]

My 11yo and 14yo like to chat, hum, tap pencils etc. while they are at the table doing schoolwork.  I feel like I am constantly riding them to be quiet.  I'm a product of a public school "silent classroom," "12 inch voices" environment, strictly maintained.  I concentrate much better in silence, but this may be how I was trained.  It feels hypocritical to require the boys to be quiet, because my preschooler and toddler are constantly making noise and conversing with anyone in earshot.  I don't like discouraging my 4 yo from his normal loud-ish play and his need to be social (aka incessant prattle) so that his brothers can work.  In the end, we couldn't create a silent, distraction-free learning environment no matter how hard we try --- so why am I so bothered by the sounds my older children make?  They tell me that the public school classrooms they were part of (through 3rd and 6th grade) were *much* louder than our household and difficult for the teachers to control.

One of my fears is that it will be hard for them to break the habit of making noise when they are finally in a classroom environment where it is expected (standardized testing, college)...

Do you struggle with the noise level of your home environment vs your homeschool environment?

[catz]

LOL - my kids are teens now and do have some longer periods of quiet. But no, I don't expect quiet expect maybe the 2 hours a week my kid is online with a tutor over skype.   I especially wouldn't expect it if there was other noises going on around them.  

[KungFuPanda]

Make a joyful noise!  ?

i like quiet work spaces, but I live with people who require background noise. Also, I may be a hypocrite since half my work involves music. 

[marbel]

My kids were never quiet at home.  Math especially was quite loud with all the moaning, pencil-flinging, and gnashing of teeth.  They had zero difficulty being quiet in other class-type situations - Sunday School, group classes, dual enrollment, college...   It just wasn't difficult to differentiate between homeschool and "regular school." 

[Ravin]

Definitely I do not expect DD to be quiet. Though I find I have to be. Sometimes the sound of me breathing distracts her, but she insists I be present.

[Lady Florida.]

I only have one but when we were homeschooling, no I didn't expect that. One of the benefits of homeschooling was that it didn't have to be like school. He could eat or drink when he was hungry or thirsty, go to the bathroom without asking, and hum or sing or talk to the dog as long as he was paying sufficient attention to his work.

[SparklyUnicorn]

No, but my kids aren't particularly loud in general.

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

13 minutes ago, Lady Florida. said:

I only have one but when we were homeschooling, no I didn't expect that. One of the benefits of homeschooling was that it didn't have to be like school. He could eat or drink when he was hungry or thirsty, go to the bathroom without asking, and hum or sing or talk to the dog as long as he was paying sufficient attention to his work.

 

Exactly.  Anything goes in my book so long as learning is happening. 

[freesia]

Okay, file this quote in the don't even worry about  it one minute file: One of my fears is that it will be hard for them to break the habit of making noise when they are finally in a classroom environment where it is expected (standardized testing, college)...  

If you are generally working on respect for the adults in charge, they will be able to do it. 

But to answer your question: yes and no.  When I am working with one child and there are other children in the room, I expect them to be quiet so as not to distract the child I am working on.

We always had one hour of silence (quiet time) b/c I need it.

Otherwise, no I don't expect silence. If the talking/joking goes on too long, I tell them to get back to work.  If someone is humming and annoying the others, they can go to work somewhere else or stop.  If no one minds, they can keep on.

I think a nice balance of noise and quiet is good. We all need social time, but we also need to just get our work done, too.

Now, if one of the boys is working all day and evening b/c he talks too much, I'd talk it through with him and help him to see that less talk would lead to more work getting done.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Although even if one is not requiring complete silence during school time, I imagine there are times we are telling our kids to be quiet and being in situations where it is required.  We do leave the house and do other things and sometimes they require quiet.  It's not difficult for my kids to manage it.  I suppose if my kids needed more practice in that department I'd insist.  I just don't think that not making them be quiet at home during school time would lead to them being unable to be quiet in situations requiring quiet.

But then, as I said, my kids are not particularly loud either. 

 

 

[Lady Florida.]

19 minutes ago, freesia said:

 

But to answer your question: yes and no.  When I am working with one child and there are other children in the room, I expect them to be quiet so as not to distract the child I am working on.

If someone is humming and annoying the others, they can go to work somewhere else or stop.  If no one minds, they can keep on.

 

I can see where noise could be an issue if you have more than one. The closest I came to that was when my niece came out of school in 7th grade and I did most of her homeschooling (my brother would only allow it if I took over because he rightfully didn't trust her mother - his ex - to be organized enough). Anyway, ds was pretty young then and her schooling was more serious at her level. I didn't allow him to annoy her while she worked, and even sometimes had to send him outside for a bit in order for her to get some work done. Mostly though, they worked well together and she was really good with him. They talked while he did his second grade work and she did more academic 7th/8th grade work. She was actually helpful in getting him to stay on task.

[happypamama]

Wish, yes

 

Expect? Hahahahaha no. They are incapable of it. They MUST hum, fidget, tap, whatever. I am super sensitive to noise (even when it was just baby DD and me all day, I kept TV/radio off; I prefer background silence), and my most fidgety, humming kiddos are also my most distractible, so their noises distract each other. So our solutions are headphones that play background music for one kid, and another kid likes to drag himself out of bed early to work before anyone else gets up so that he’s both not distracted and can hum all he likes. And we have a plethora of places where kids can take their work. My rule is that if you’re in the schoolroom during school hours, especially if I am trying to teach another child, because I detest talking over a dull roar, even a quiet one, I have the right to insist that you stop making noise. If you need to make noise, and I understand that they really do need to, you need to go to an alternate room. Husband is almost finished with our new family room, and I’m so excited about being able to read to and with the younger ones in there while the older ones work at the schoolroom table. 

[Lady Florida.]

2 minutes ago, happypamama said:

They MUST hum, fidget, tap, whatever. I am super sensitive to noise (even when it was just baby DD and me all day, I kept TV/radio off; I prefer background silence),. 

Ha! That's me too. I'm very sensitive to noise and am pretty sure I have some level of misophonia. So naturally fate gave me a child with moderate ADHD who must fidget, hum, tap, and find every way to make noise known to humankind. 

Dh has to have the tv or radio on all the time for white noise. I leave it off most of the time when he's not home because like you I prefer background silence. I only turn on the tv when there's something I want to watch. I listen to music or an audio book only if I'm in the mood. Otherwise, silence is not only golden it's absolutely beautiful. More beautiful and precious than gold. :D

[Targhee]

I can’t do emojis but mine would be snorting drink out my nose. Quiet!?!? I can’t get them to do anything quietly. Except the library, for about 20 min max. And they aren’t little. Oh, and church they can manage ok. But they need to move, do, hum, talk, sing, etc while learning.

If someone needs a quiet space they can move to a quiet space in the house or put on headphones.  

ETA: Dh does shift work so often is sleeping in the day, and I do sometimes tell the kids to not do certain activities while he’s sleeping (eg no music practice).

[RegGuheert]

35 minutes ago, happypamama said:

Expect? Hahahahaha no. They are incapable of it.

Yeah, when I read the thread title I kinda thought it was a joke.

IME, if they are quiet, they are likely NOT doing school.  That usually means they have left the building.

[TravelingChris]

No, no, no.  I needed quiet at times but no.  What annoyed me to no end was my youngest in high school who would play music to study.  Sometimes with headphones, but often not.  She was the only child being homeschooled since the others were adults.  And she likes to play some songs or music over and over.  

I love music and usually want music on.  But what kind of music depends on what I am doing.  I often have a hard time reading if songs with lyrics are playing so when I need to concentrate, classical is the usual choice- but even there it is tricky since it is much better if it is a piece I don't know.

[Tanaqui]

If your children are NT, then it should be easy for them to adapt to a new situation where they have to be quiet. And if this is your only concern, then I wouldn't worry about it at all!

[Cecropia]

To be clear, I'm only asking them to be quiet, not sit in silence... The two older ones will get very loud together!  I'm glad that they are good friends, but it can make school complicated.  Yes, half the time they will continue work into the evening hours because of all the distractions.  I often wonder how anyone can manage a classroom of 20+ kids.

This brings to mind 3rd grade for my oldest, when his teacher pushed hard to have him evaluated for ADHD because he kept tapping, singing, leaning over his desk...  The discipline chart was always full of "negative colors" that year.  His grades and retention of lessons were fine.

Dh and I never believed for a second that he was anything but NT, and we refused the testing.  He's always been a kinesthetic person/learner.

As a teen, he just doesn't realize that he's been flipping and tapping a pencil for the last 5 minutes, pacing the floor like a caged animal, or bumping into furniture until someone else points it out... I think of him as a person who "lives slapstick."  However, if an interesting assignment is put in front of him, like an art project, he will sit still with a laser-like focus for a long period of time.  I really hope the focused side will come out when it needs to.

[BlsdMama]

Expect?  Or just madly hope?  Or maybe just have lovely daydreams?

 

My house is a zoo. None of these people are quiet. No. That’s not true. One of them is. I don’t have favorites, but there are days that if I did? She’d get the gold star. 

 

Tonight was one of those if you can’t tell. ;)

[Tsuga]

No. I used to. I do think it's irritating at work when someone hums all the time. But at the same time... if they're working, they're working. 

[purpleowl]

I don't expect them to sit in silence like they'd have to in a traditional classroom.

I do, however, expect them to be considerate of one another (and of me). If I'm trying to read something to or with your sibling, you don't interrupt. If your sibling is working on something that requires focus and asks you to tone down your volume or your silliness level, you do so (or you take it to another room). Things like that. 

It certainly isn't perfect all the time; we have plenty of reminders. ;) But that's generally what my expectations are.

[LuvToRead]

No, I don't.   They have no problem being quiet when they need to do so.   Like Purpleowl, I do expect them to respect one another and to not bug each other.  I also let my girls get up and down, snack, take as break whenever they want.  My girls are 16 and 12.