would you go?

[caedmyn]

A friend of mine puts together a girls' night out weekend (don't know how else to describe it) every year which is this weekend. Everyone stays in one big rented house, usually 2 to a bedroom. It's a pay-in-advance thing so I've paid already.

 

But then DH came down with the flu on Sunday. DD got it Tuesday. Another child got a bad cough on Sunday which he's recovering from. Two of the others started coughing yesterday but they are only coughing a little and I don't think they're going to get any worse. I started coughing some yesterday too. Obviously I can't say with certainty, but I think there's a good chance no one else will get the flu. The kids and I aren't prone to it in general--we've lived in this area for almost a decade, and while DH has had the flu several times, the kids and I have only had it once. DD tends to take after DH more in terms of susceptibility to and severity of illnesses.

 

I can't decide whether to go tomorrow if I'm still feeling ok and not coughing any more than now, or not. If the toddler gets the flu I'll stay home. I think DH could handle it if any of the others do. If I drove myself instead of carpooling with others I could leave if I start feeling like I'm getting the flu or start coughing a lot.

[FriedClams]

I'd go, and leave of you need to. After that week, some time with friends and fresh air would do you some good!

[gardenmom5]

how healthy is your dh?  is he healthy enough to care for a houseful of sick kids?

you have three very young kids.  

now you're sick.

 

sorry.i wouldn't.

[katilac]

Actual verified flu? I'd be less than excited if someone came from The House of Flu, lol. If it's just cougjing and crud, that's one thing, but I'd check with your doctor about whether you might be contagious if it's flu. 

[maize]

I would stay because the other women may not all have your immune system-- if you pass flu germs on to them they could become very sick or take those germs home and make their own families sick.

 

I remember reading research indicating hat a lot if people get mild cases of the flu and think they just have a cold-- but they are contagious to others.

[emmaluv+2more]

If you think there's a chance you have the flu then you should not potentially expose other people. You should not go, imo. You could already be contagious even if you don't yet feel sick.

[marbel]

Your own family aside, what about your friends? I would probably skip it to avoid passing it on to them. You don't want to be the subject of a forum thread somewhere, you know, the friend who gave everyone the flu during girls' weekend out.

:-)

 

I'm kind of kidding, but if I thought I'd be contagious, I'd stay home. If you are past that point, and your family is good, then go and have a great time!

[xixstar]

Me, I would go if it was a cold. I'm never quite sure when people say everyone got the flu - like full on flu with fevers and chills and whole nine yards of feeling awful? In that case, if you feel like you're getting it, I wouldn't go because I wouldn't want to share it.  But if an unfriendly cold ran through the house, you usually don't get what everyone has and don't feel like you're getting some awful -- depending on what that cough means - then maybe I would.

Also depends on who I'm rooming with, I have one friend that would probably pack up and leave if she heard my kids were sick and I coughed once, while another friend would smile the knowing smile of escaping a house of sick people and might just ask me to please cough in the opposite direction, lol. I personally wouldn't be bothered if someone showed up with a little cough. Now if you show up all congested, blowing your nose every 5 seconds, complaining of a sore throat and coughing out lung bits - well, I would be giving you a pretty severe side eye and would give you lots of space all weekend. 

So, it all depends on how you're really feeling and the people you're hanging out with too. 

[Annie G]

I wouldn't go if I thought I actually had the flu. But I'm also not sure your family has the flu.  

[caedmyn]

I think I will see how much I'm coughing tomorrow and ask the organizer what she thinks.

 

I don't think my signature is current...my kids are 16 mo, 5, 7, 9, and 12.

 

I'm not worried about giving people the flu, only the cold. I don't think I have it and I don't think I'm going to get it. I was certainly exposed enough to DH when he first got it and I'm past the incubation period. The times I've got the flu it started out with feeling awful, aches, etc. The times he got it and I didn't I didn't have cold symptoms, I felt perfectly fine. So I think this cough is a cold and not a mild version of the flu.

 

To me all indications are for 2 separate illnesses. The kid who was coughing got sick at the same time as DH got flu symptoms and they weren't ever in the same place in the few days before to be exposed to the same thing. Kid never had a fever or body aches or fatigue other than when he got worn out from coughing.

 

I think DH can handle sick kids fine, except maybe the toddler. They mostly just watch TV when he watches them anyway. I'm not concerned about anybody getting terribly sick.

[sassenach]

This flu is hitting different people at very different severities. Dd caught it from her boyfriend. He and his mom had verified flu and it completely took them out. Dd caught it  (she'd been vaccinated) and she got a much milder version. Passed it to younger dd (didn't get vaccinated this year, but did the previous few) and she was slightly more severe than older dd, but nowhere close to bf and his mom. FIL caught it from them and got knocked on his butt.

 

Same virus, different immune systems.

[sassenach]

I think I will see how much I'm coughing tomorrow and ask the organizer what she thinks.

 

I don't think my signature is current...my kids are 16 mo, 5, 7, 9, and 12.

 

I'm not worried about giving people the flu, only the cold. I don't think I have it and I don't think I'm going to get it. I was certainly exposed enough to DH when he first got it and I'm past the incubation period. The times I've got the flu it started out with feeling awful, aches, etc. The times he got it and I didn't I didn't have cold symptoms, I felt perfectly fine. So I think this cough is a cold and not a mild version of the flu.

 

To me all indications are for 2 separate illnesses. The kid who was coughing got sick at the same time as DH got flu symptoms and they weren't ever in the same place in the few days before to be exposed to the same thing. Kid never had a fever or body aches or fatigue other than when he got worn out from coughing.

 

I think DH can handle sick kids fine, except maybe the toddler. They mostly just watch TV when he watches them anyway. I'm not concerned about anybody getting terribly sick.

Are you sharing a room with people? If so, those are the people I'd check in with. If I was them, I would want to be given the choice to take the risk or not. Truthfully, a lot of years I'd shrug and take the risk of catching something in trade for a friend's company. This year, with this flu, I'm feeling more conservative. 

 

Side note: Today I got a notice from ds17's classroom that scarlett fever/strep has hit multiple kids, then a few hours later I get an email from ds15's school that they have multiple hand foot mouth cases breaking out! I'd like to just put everyone in a bubble for the rest of winter.

[Spryte]

I would not go.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I would stay home for various reasons, #1 being that the friends probably would blame me when they went home sick and I couldn't imagine leaving my DH, sick, at home with the littles.  I mean he's good but not as good as me at taking care of them.  It sucks but I'd stay home.... with the option that in a couple days I go down for the last couple days if everyone is better, including myself.

[SKL]

I'm no germophobe, but I would be reluctant to expose other families to what I hear is a pretty serious bug this year.  If any of them has an immune compromised or otherwise fragile family member, it could get ugly.  It just wouldn't be worth the risk for me.

[marbel]

Are you sharing a room with people? If so, those are the people I'd check in with. If I was them, I would want to be given the choice to take the risk or not. Truthfully, a lot of years I'd shrug and take the risk of catching something in trade for a friend's company. This year, with this flu, I'm feeling more conservative. 

 

<snip>

 

The thing about doing this is - what are they going to say?  I doubt anyone is going to say "oh, I don't want to share a room with you, please stay home." More likely, they would say "oh, sure, no worries" while being worried all weekend.  Or, come up with a sudden reason to stay home themselves.

 

Of course, maybe not - I don't know the people involved. I just don't think most people, when asked if they mind sharing a room with a person who has flu in her house, and has some related/similar symptoms herself, are going to be perfectly honest if they're hesitant about it.

[LarlaB]

Actual verified flu? I'd be less than excited if someone came from The House of Flu, lol. If it's just cougjing and crud, that's one thing, but I'd check with your doctor about whether you might be contagious if it's flu.

Agreed.

 

You can carry and spread even if you’re somehow not affected. And if it’s actual verified flu I have a hard time seeing how that’s a good thing. If it’s anotther variety of crud i view that differently to be honest...the flu is severe for most who have it.

[maize]

You've been exposed to the flu or at least a flu-like illness (don't know if influenza has been verified). You have a contagious respiratory illness with a cough.

 

I know you could really use the retreat, but I don't think exposing your friends to infection is kind. Would you be willing to go but wear a face mask? That is what folks do in Japan when they need to be in public with a respiratory infection.

[mlktwins]

I wouldn't go and I would not be happy if I went and someone in your situation can and exposed everyone. That being said, my boys had the flu in December. I took one of them in because he had white spots in his throat. I was thinking strep for sure, but he tested negative for strep and positive for flu. He had the flu shot this year. He had a low grade fever and sore throat. Would never have guessed the flu. I think it stayed a mild version because he had the flu shot. His twin had a little higher fever, mild sore throat, cough, and mild aches. Still would not have thought flu. With how bad the flu is this season, and how differently it affects people, I wouldn't risk it with your friends. They may be willing to give your money back if you tell them why you can't make it.

[ktgrok]

You have a cough that started just recently. You are contagious. No, I would not go stay in a house with a group of women and expose all of them to it. Just because your body fights it off well enough to be only mildly ill doesn't mean that is how they will handle it. Some of them could get quite sick, and spread it to their own families. 

 

I'd honestly be pissed if you showed up and were going to share a bedroom with me while likely carrying flu germs. 

[ErinE]

Theres something going around here that isn’t the flu, but has caused bronchitis in multiple cases. I ended up with inflamed chest muscles from coughing so hard and it took a long time to recover from. Just because it isn’t the flu doesn’t mean it can’t lead to multiple doctor visits. I would recommend you stay home. You may not have it, but you might still be contagious.

[JFSinIL]

Whoever you'd sharing a room with doesn't want to catch your germs or listen to you cough all night. Stay home. Or arrange to meet up with them for lunch etc but do not stay at the house.

[sassenach]

The thing about doing this is - what are they going to say? I doubt anyone is going to say "oh, I don't want to share a room with you, please stay home." More likely, they would say "oh, sure, no worries" while being worried all weekend. Or, come up with a sudden reason to stay home themselves.

 

Of course, maybe not - I don't know the people involved. I just don't think most people, when asked if they mind sharing a room with a person who has flu in her house, and has some related/similar symptoms herself, are going to be perfectly honest if they're hesitant about it.

You’re probably right. I forget that about people. I wouldn’t hesitate to tell a friend to stay home. The ladies that I do my weekends away with are the same. I guess we’re well matched!

[marbel]

You’re probably right. I forget that about people. I wouldn’t hesitate to tell a friend to stay home. The ladies that I do my weekends away with are the same. I guess we’re well matched!

 

Those kinds of friends are unusual in my experience.  Even my closest friends are always kinda too polite, kwim?  Not quite honest for fear of hurting feelings  :-)  

[caedmyn]

I could probably have a room to myself as a few people have cancelled. I am not coughing all night either...not even close. Last night I coughed for about 10 seconds when I went to bed, and for about 5 seconds after waking to go to the bathroom. That was it. I had thought about wearing a mask. And I can't meet them for lunch or anything because it's 3 hours away.

[BarbecueMom]

I wouldn't go.  That being said, I probably would not agree to an expensive retreat or getaway this time of year in the first place.  Because it's the peak of flu season, you're always going to have people cancelling or coming while ill or exposed.  Any chance they could start shifting the weekend to another time of year, when people typically aren't as germ-laden?

 

I'm actually going to an annual/semiannual girls' night thing tomorrow night, but we started doing dinner at a new restaurant then drinks and games at someone's house instead of prepaying for expensive tickets.  Weather and illness seem to always mess something up if we plan for something that requires a firm commitment for everyone in January.  Our "buy tickets/make reservations ahead of time" events happen in early summer and October when everyone's healthier.