Preteen wwyd

[lynn]

DD hates the idea of changing into pe clothes.  The pe clothes rule is standard as long as they are dressed properly they get credit.   So dd wears "PE" clothes to school to avoid dressing out.    Her clothes are clean, she is clean but it is sports shorts (longer shorts not running shorts and t-shirt)    Do I say something.  Not say anything and let peer pressure dictate her choice?   I mean after all the kids just came out of 5th grade where they had PE every day in whatever clothes they had on.    She has always gone against the flow when it comes to trends and is pretty much tshirt and jeans

[ebrindam]

If the school doesn't care if she changes or not, I wouldn't interfere. 

[Katy]

I might try and probe to see if this is the result of typical body insecurity, or if it's the result of bullying.  Obviously would intervene for the latter.  If it's typical, I might ignore it, using the pick your battles philosophy.  Depends on if DD stinks after exercise, I guess.

[J-rap]

I think if no one has a problem with it, you could just let it go for awhile and see how it plays out?  

 

If she has anxiety about changing in front of others, it might help to talk to her about it, and let her know it's pretty normal.  One of my dd's had anxiety about changing in front of fellow members of her ballet group during recitals.  I helped her figure out a way to do it that made her feel not so exposed, because I knew there would come a time when she couldn't run into the bathroom to change each time.

 

Now, she doesn't have any problem at all changing in front of people, by the way!

[bettyandbob]

I'd let it go. 

 

From 7th-10th we had to where the PE uniform, not just athletic shorts and a t shirt. I suppose we could have worn the PE uniform all day, but no one did that. I suspect if your dd is only required to wear athletic shorts and a t shirts she may actually blend in with what many kids are wearing all day at school. 

 

I might try to find out if there are any issues beyond typical " I don't want to change in front of anyone", but not push too hard. I would monitor though. As she gets older body odor may be an issue and changing and adding deodorant is an easy way to fix that. 

[marbel]

I agree with letting it go if the school doesn't care and if you are as sure (as anyone can be) that there is not some more serious issue at play.

 

A concern I have is that she may get teased about smelling badly for wearing her gym clothes after the class (whether she actually does smell badly or not).  You might get her some wipes and deodorant to put on in the bathroom just to be sure.   In middle school I was pretty stinky after exercise. 

[regentrude]

If its fine with the school, leave her be. Perhaps the social atmosphere or cleanliness in the locker room is not conducive to wanting to change there. And I bet she's not the only one.

[Lecka]

If it becomes a problem then you can address it. Right now it sounds fine.

 

If it gets to be winter and it is way too cold then maybe it is a problem then, but maybe your daughter will have gotten more comfortable with the idea of changing by then, too.

[bettyandbob]

If it becomes a problem then you can address it. Right now it sounds fine.

 

If it gets to be winter and it is way too cold then maybe it is a problem then, but maybe your daughter will have gotten more comfortable with the idea of changing by then, too.

Or she can wear track pants over the shorts and just pull the pants off.

[Lecka]

That would work :)

[lynn]

Thanks.   I do pick my battles wisely for I know there will be many over the next few years.  As long she wears clean clothes, I guess I'm good with it.   Thankfully we are having a cooler than normal August.  A friend reminded me that she probably is not the only one and she could possibly be setting trend. :lol:   Did I mention my girl doesn't do trendy.    Anyways,  thanks for responding.

 

At open house they said sweat pants are acceptable so I guess I better start looking......

Edited August 8, 2017 by lynn

[Ivey]

I would make sure she has deodorant and an extra set of clothes in her locker, in case she becomes extra sweaty/stinky during PE one day. 

 

Otherwise, I think her plan is fine. :)

[Ivey]

Double. 

Edited August 8, 2017 by Ivey

[SKL]

I think the whole point of gym clothes is that kids change so they don't bring the sweat back to class.

 

Can she slip into a stall to change?

 

I used to change in a stall or private shower when I was in high school.  Technically it was against the rules unless you were on your monthly, but I dare anyone to check to see whether I'm on my monthly.  :P

[Kanin]

Are yoga pants PE and school appropriate? Everyone's wearing them these days, and I think they're pretty age-appropriate for middle school. 

[foxbridgeacademy]

I always wore my PE shorts under my skirt and a tighter t-shirt under my normal shirt.  No need to actually go in the locker room where the mean girls were and no teacher to protect me.  There's no way I would try to force my kid to undress in what amounts to a (single-sex) public place if they weren't comfortable with it.

[MercyA]

I wouldn't force her to do something that makes her uncomfortable. That said, I'm wondering if there is anything that would help her feel better about changing in the locker room. Maybe this is too personal a question, but is she wearing a bra yet? If not, maybe wearing one would help her feel more comfortable. She could bring also bring long t-shirts for gym class so that she is pretty well covered when she is switching bottoms. Just some thoughts.

[rose]

I was bullied terribly in the change room. I used to do exactly what your dd is doing. I didn't stink too much because I never put much effort into PE. I just really hated that change room. There was never teacher supervision and the girls just knew that it was the perfect opportunity to pull out the bullying without mercy. At first it was because I was flat, then because I didn't shave my legs yet, then something else, etc. etc. If I were in your situation I would probe. I might even question the teacher if I didn't think my dd was being honest.

[Tap]

I didn't read all the replies, so you may have already mentioned this.

 

All of dd's schools private and public after 6th grade required dressing for PE and then redressing for class unless they were in the first  or last class of the day.  They were absolutely not allowed to wear the same clothes after PE, even if they met dress code.  This was to protect the teachers and classrooms from the odor of 20 teens who stank and from dripping sweat all over desks/chairs etc.  Maybe some kids were dry after class, but not all and they couldn't pick/choose so everyone had to change. I can not imagine being the teacher having to deal with the stench of 20 pre-teen/teens who just left PE.  Even with deodorant...bodies still stink.  Hot, Sweaty backs, chests and legs, don't get deodorant.  :svengo:

 

If she comes back and says she has to change, I just wanted you to know it is common expectation. 

[Frances]

 

I think the whole point of gym clothes is that kids change so they don't bring the sweat back to class.

 

Can she slip into a stall to change?

 

I used to change in a stall or private shower when I was in high school. Technically it was against the rules unless you were on your monthly, but I dare anyone to check to see whether I'm on my monthly. :P

 

 

According to my nieces, this is what almost all the girls at their school do for both PE and sports practices. And no one ever showers at the school after PE or sports practices, even if there is a dance after a game. It was completely different when I went to school. Showers were required in middle school and almost everyone chose to take them at high school.

 

Does she know what most kids do at her school? I'd be fine with letting her not change, as long as she's comfortable wearing the clothes after PE. However, unless her PE classes are pretty easy workouts and never in hot weather, I would think that could be pretty uncomfortable at times.

[kiwik]

We has to change from our uniform dresses and back. There were showers but I don't recall anyone using them - I think we usually only had 5 mins to change if we wanted to get to our next class on time. If she wore her PE clothes to school then changed after PE would that work? It would reduce the time exposed and maybe everyone would be in a rush afterwards anyway.