vent: last minute notifications of things I'm expected to do

[TheReader]

Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh. 

 

The rebellious teenager inside of me wants to not comply, but ugh. 

 

My middle son has a guitar recital & art show tonight* and his art teacher JUST notified us (all the parents, not just us) that the kids need to bring "a dozen cookies or so to share" for the show. 

 

None of the emails reminding of the time, when to turn in the framed artwork, when to pick up the artwork, NONE of those prior emails mentioned bringing refreshments. None. 

 

Now, I *am* going to the store today for another reason. I *can* pick up cookies, and probably will. But I would really like to throw a tantrum, stomp  my foot and say NO. No, you cannot email me at nearly 9 a.m. day-of, for a 6 p.m. show, and expect I can grab cookies in time (or make them, or whatever). 

 

I like the art teacher, usually, but this is annoying. 

 

*the boys attend a once/week homeschool enrichment set of classes, one of which is art, another is guitar (for this kid): the drama, art & guitar programs put on a play/art show/guitar recital at the end of the year, which is what we're attending tonight and why it's all combined in one thing. Art is on display in the foyer, guitar recital at 6:30, play follows, art may be looked at before, during intermission, or after the play, and apparently, art class brings refreshments.....

[Rachel]

I kind of agree. If it isn't an inconvenience, pick some up. Otherwise I wouldn't stress.

[2_girls_mommy]

Since you are going to the store today and can afford to buy some then I would just do it, but be thinking all of the thoughts that you are, lol.  

 

If it wasn't possible due to what I had going on in a day, then I just wouldn't bring any and apologize to the teacher when you got there explaining that it wasn't mentioned before today's email and that it just wasn't possible for you to do it since you had other plans and didn't have time to schedule that in without enough knowledge. 

 

Honestly, I would probably still say something today politely, that it was lucky that you were going to the store today or that you wouldn't have been able to get any since you weren't aware before this morning that this was needed. 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I hate that.  HATE THAT.  I would say something.  I'd probably get the stupid cookies, but I would nicely suggest that a little more time for such a request would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

[TechWife]

I agree that more notice should have been given. The organizer in me wonders, though, whether or not another parent agreed to organize refreshments and then dropped the ball? The teacher may just have figured out that there's a problem. If so, then the teacher could have let everyone know that and apologized for the late notice. 

[Erica in OR]

I'd guess there are some families who won't bring cookies—simply because they might not even see the email in time since it's the day of the event.

 

Erica in OR

[73349]

Ugh, that drove me nuts about preschool. Tuesday afternoon, they'd be like, "By the way, you need to send [item I do not have] for Thursday."

[Guest]

It makes me nuts that every stupid event has to have cookies. I'm an adult, I can live a few hours with no snacks.

[2_girls_mommy]

It makes me nuts that every stupid event has to have cookies. I'm an adult, I can live a few hours with no snacks.

OMgoodness!! So true!! 

[Carol in Cal.]

I like that custom, it creates community by keeping people around, talking, after the 'main event'.  But they should have planned it sooner.  I run out of patience with this kind of thing at about age 8.  These are allegedly grownups.  Um.

Edited May 11, 2017 by Carol in Cal.

[sangtarah]

I'm with you, OP. I greatly dislike last minute requirements. I would buy some, but grudgingly.

 

Once my dd had a Christmas function with her troop, and the night before the get-together, the leader sent out an email to tell everyone that there would be an optional gift exchange. Ack! Of course we had nothing, and of course there was a suggested amount to spend. And I knew if I didn't get something, my kid would be left out and have hurt feelings. We were barely able to make it work, but there was 1 or 2 girls that left crying because their families weren't able to. It was horrible. The leader should planned much farther in advance, OR brought a few extra gifts so no one was left out.

[JustEm]

I wouldn't buy the cookies. Requests with such short notice are rude and i refuse to encourage them by complying with them even if I am going to the store that day. I would happily bring cookies if knew in advance but with such short notice no way.

[mathnerd]

Requests with short notices usually mean that it is a "nice to have" item and they don't mind if you cannot bring the item. That is what I would go by. So, if you can get the cookies, then great. Else, the art teacher might be getting some herself, probably.

[SKL]

I agree.  The only thing worse is finding the note, all crumpled up in the kids' bag, after the event is over.   :P

 

This is one of my pet peeves.  It's the reason I opt out of most charity drives on principle.  That week when they asked me to come up with 3 different things - informed via 3 differently timed notifications - as if I live in the upstairs of a grocery store, LOL.  Hey news flash - there is nothing "quick" about going shopping with 2 six-year-olds in the winter time.  At the very least consolidate your requests and send them to me in time for me to work it into my weekend.

[TheReader]

Well, I'm back from the store, and I bought the cookies. A pack of 36 "mini m&m cookies" so that should cover us and one or two who opt out. 

 

I don't mind having the refreshments, since it's for before/during/after the event and does get people chatting and such, turning an otherwise "come, look, leave" thing into a social thing, which is nice. I don't even mind bringing them, I just DO mind the "oh, by the way, bring cookies tonight!" notice. 

 

But, I was at the store, I can afford $4 for some cookies from the bakery, and I'm such a non-confrontational person (IRL....I save all my confrontation-y thoughts for the internet, LOL!) that I complied :) 

 

Now I'm off to a fun purse-making class at my local quilt shop, which should be fun! Feel free to chat amongst yourselves about this while I'm gone :D 

[Word Nerd]

We sometimes get after-school texts asking for bake sale items for that evening's school basketball games. Yeah, that's not happening. I don't know anyone who has time to whip up something homemade with no notice and get it to the school--individually wrapped/packaged, no less--by 4 or 5.

Edited May 11, 2017 by Word Nerd

[Bluegoat]

I got an email yesterday telling me a run my daughter signed up for next weekend requires me to participate.  It did not say that in the letter sent home, or I would never have agreed.  Now we have bought the t-shirt, we have to back out, and my dd12 is, understandably, upset.

[Tess in the Burbs]

if you are already at the store, just get them.  You could even say something like, normally I can't do last minute food items, so maybe a little more notice next year(with a smile on your face)?  

 

But I've not brought food to an event if it was the night before.  And no one said anything.  And I felt no guilt. 

[TechWife]

 

 

Now I'm off to a fun purse-making class at my local quilt shop, which should be fun! Feel free to chat amongst yourselves about this while I'm gone :D

 

I need details: fabric selection, pattern, pictures, etc.. 

 

Forget the cookies, we're talking fabric now! 

[Anne in CA]

I got an email yesterday telling me a run my daughter signed up for next weekend requires me to participate.  It did not say that in the letter sent home, or I would never have agreed.  Now we have bought the t-shirt, we have to back out, and my dd12 is, understandably, upset.

I would demand a refund on the tee shirt for this one. That is BS. I would be livid. This is not a "bring some cookies." This is blackmail.

[TheReader]

I need details: fabric selection, pattern, pictures, etc.. 

 

Forget the cookies, we're talking fabric now! 

 

LOL! 

 

The class was so very fun, and I got home with 10 minutes to spare before my in laws arrived to go with us to the guitar recital (for which I had grabbed the cookies, only to find out when we got there that they weren't serving them until AFTER the entire recital, play, art show, etc; had I known that, we would not have taken them as most of the guitar students left after their portion vs staying for the play, so we didn't even get to eat the cookies we brought....). 

 

The purse class was for a hobo bag, I think it's called; here is my version. We could pick 4 half-yard cuts of fabric and choose our own placement of each for the front, back, pockets, etc. Super fun and easy, and I'll likely make some for my nieces for Christmas this year. 

 

Hmmm. I have no idea how to upload, it's giving me a size error.....let me check on that and come back. I picked adorable fabrics, I'd love to show it off :) 

[TheReader]

I need details: fabric selection, pattern, pictures, etc.. 

 

Forget the cookies, we're talking fabric now! 

 

Okay, deleted some other pictures, so here is a shot of the purse...not a great shot, but gives the general idea. The inside has half black fabric (the same as the trim on the pocket, and the base of the bag) and white fabric (a white w/black floral); both front and back are "half & half" with the seam down the middle so the 2 fabrics wrap around, and 1 strap is one fabric, the other strap is the other fabric. 

 

You sew the 2 straps together, but then knot them to adjust the length, and it has an inside pocket as well (out of the gray w/orange flowers); inside base is the white fabric that you can't see, and you can't tell in the photo but I did all the topstitching in red thread to be a little extra pop of color and pull out the red in the flowers on the gray fabric. I love it!

 

 

[heartlikealion]

Live a few hours without snacks. Speak for yourself. ;)

 

OP, your purse class sounds fun and you did a good job.

[Miss Tick]

Cute purse!

[HS Mom in NC]

I'm not the personality type to comply with nonsense or to leave it unaddressed. If it goes unaddressed the likelihood it will happen again increases dramatically.  I would've replied all to the email and said this:

I would love to contribute to refreshments, but since there wasn't enough notice and I'm swamped today, I won't be able to.  Next time let me know at least week in advance I'll be sure to bring them.  See you tonight at the recital.

Then I would make sure I'm really too busy to go to the grocery store so it would be true. Notice I didn't apologize for it either.

I also agree that it's ridiculous that people always expect refreshments at these things.  For heaven's sake, people can stay and chat after without stuffing their mouths with food.  I don't take issue with refreshments at recitals/shows being an option, I take issue with it being obligatory every time.

I sew a lot and really like your purse.  I've been looking at different quilted bag patterns for a future project and I know those take work and skill. 

[TheReader]

I'm not the personality type to comply with nonsense or to leave it unaddressed. If it goes unaddressed the likelihood it will happen again increases dramatically.  I would've replied all to the email and said this:

 

I would love to contribute to refreshments, but since there wasn't enough notice and I'm swamped today, I won't be able to.  Next time let me know at least week in advance I'll be sure to bring them.  See you tonight at the recital.

 

Then I would make sure I'm really too busy to go to the grocery store so it would be true. Notice I didn't apologize for it either.

 

I also agree that it's ridiculous that people always expect refreshments at these things.  For heaven's sake, people can stay and chat after without stuffing their mouths with food.  I don't take issue with refreshments at recitals/shows being an option, I take issue with it being obligatory every time.

 

I sew a lot and really like your purse.  I've been looking at different quilted bag patterns for a future project and I know those take work and skill. 

 

Can I hire you to write emails to this group for me, LOL?! I wish I had that personality. I really do. I am the type to either quietly comply, while grumbling elsewhere, or quietly not comply, while also grumbling elsewhere. ha! Not productive in the long run, though I *did* share my complaints/suggestions on the anonymous end-of-year survey.

 

That got an earful (penful?) about how, if the extra curricular "leadership team/group" wants to "organize a bake sale" it should involve those team members, I don't know, baking the baked goods for the sale, manning the sale table, etc. Not sending a flyer out that says "elementary students with last names A to H, bring your goods on this date; last names I to Z, bring yours on this date..." and then having the treats available at the usual study hall snack table (which a teacher mans, and which mostly jr high/high school students visit). We quietly did NOT bake anything, since it was optional, and left it at that + the feedback in the survey later. We'll see if anything changes next year. 

 

But thank you about the bag; it was relatively easy as far as bags go, but I'm very glad I did it in a class, as I'm 3D object challenged when it comes to sewing. Give me nice, flat quilts any day of the week, but 3D stuff.....:shiver:....no thank you, usually! It's definitely the best looking bag I've done, probably because I was with an instructor who helped a lot. 

[HS Mom in NC]

Can I hire you to write emails to this group for me, LOL?! I wish I had that personality. I really do.

 

I has its downsides, but I'm ok with them. I've found there are people who really dislike the straight forward, candid type interactions and there are people absolutely love them, even when they're getting push back. Of course, that's probably true of all personality types. And for the record, I love it when people are candid and straightforward with me, even when they're openly disagreeing with me.

 

 

[Alicia64]

When teachers really bug the heck out of me like that . . . I try hard to think of what is best for my kid. If he wants to walk in with a thing of cookies, pick the cookies up to make him feel part of the evening's celebration.

 

Just remember: everyone here agrees with you.

 

Alley

[Carol in Cal.]

I would demand a refund on the tee shirt for this one. That is BS. I would be livid. This is not a "bring some cookies." This is blackmail.

Worse than that.  It's bait and switch.

[Carol in Cal.]

I would demand a refund on the tee shirt for this one. That is BS. I would be livid. This is not a "bring some cookies." This is blackmail.

Worse than that.  It's bait and switch.

[TechWife]

Okay, deleted some other pictures, so here is a shot of the purse...not a great shot, but gives the general idea. The inside has half black fabric (the same as the trim on the pocket, and the base of the bag) and white fabric (a white w/black floral); both front and back are "half & half" with the seam down the middle so the 2 fabrics wrap around, and 1 strap is one fabric, the other strap is the other fabric. 

 

You sew the 2 straps together, but then knot them to adjust the length, and it has an inside pocket as well (out of the gray w/orange flowers); inside base is the white fabric that you can't see, and you can't tell in the photo but I did all the topstitching in red thread to be a little extra pop of color and pull out the red in the flowers on the gray fabric. I love it!

 

 20170512_103526-1.jpg

 

 

That's cute! I love the fabric - the contrast is great!

SaveSave