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Balance? extracurricular, park days, playdates, field trips...


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What is your balance? How much do you do outside the home, how much would you like to do - is it too much, not enough?

 

I'm trying to stop our social pendulum - we are either doing too much or nothing. I have to find a middle.

 

ETA: And social circles! Are you happy with the amount of social circles you have?

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If I feel stressed, then we are doing too much. If the kids are getting antsy and bored, then we are doing too little. Where the middle ground falls has depended on what else is going on in our life: pregnancy, new baby, work commitments, etc.

 

Right now, I am happy doing 1-2 activities a day as long as I know we have at least 1 day (preferably 2 days) completely free each week. I'm also happy doing multiple activities for each child as long as I know that there will be breaks in the summer or the off-season. We don't do any activity year round.

 

We are also happy with our current social network. All of the older children have more than 1 social circle and at least 1 close friend. Having a close friend that they feel they can talk to and get together with has been the most important thing.

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What is your balance? How much do you do outside the home, how much would you like to do - is it too much, not enough?

 

I'm trying to stop our social pendulum - we are either doing too much or nothing. I have to find a middle.

 

ETA: And social circles! Are you happy with the amount of social circles you have?

 

I never did "play dates." 

 

We did a monthly park day with our support group. Sometimes we met spontaneously during the month, but not on a regular basis, and the whole family, not just individual children.

 

We left the house every Thursday for a field trip. No field trips with the support group unless it was on Thursday or it was so awesome that I didn't mind messing up our routine.

 

No outside classes during the day, before 3 in the afternoon. Ever.

 

We had activities at church on Sunday and Wednesday evenings. DDs did Highland dance and 4-H (classes/meetings in the late afternoon/early evening). Eventually ballet took the place of Highland dance, classes in the evening.

 

We stayed home on Mondays and Tuesdays. No exceptions (unless late in the afternoon, for dance or 4-H).

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We are home bodies and free/down time for our kids is a priority for us. Not counting weekends, I don't like to have to leave the house more than twice a week. For us that means Wed - swimming in the afternoon and homeschool group fortnightly, Friday - excursion or visiting friends and violin lessons.

We still do a little school on those days but our full days are Monday/Tuesday/Thursday.

 

We are also introverts, so this amount of socialising, plus church on the weekend and random play days (probably twice a month) is enough for us.

 

As for social circles, we started homeschooling in one area and built relationships, we moved an hour away but still travel back regularly. We have made new friends in our new area and see them regularly, and we have church friends and extended family.

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For my family we've really had to cut down on out activities outside the house. I found myself feeling like we were always running and not really accomplishing what i wanted to. Now what we do is we have Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday's that are stay at home days where we school, read aloud, do art and science experiments. Tuesday my kids have classes outside the house, and Fridays are our fun days. We do fieldtrips, parkdays, educational games, visit grandparents etc. If We are out of the house all day, that's ok. We get everything done Monday-Thursday.

 

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My kids get really stressed when we have more than 3 things per week and school tends to go badly. Right now we are overbooked and life has been really rough until some of these activities end. I find I really need to guard our school day and be home to prep dinner properly -- that mean kids doing clean up/chores before dinner too. Our weekends are always packed though so we have less resilience for busy weeks.

 

DS8 is the only extrovert among us but fortunately he has a best friend who is like another brother in the family and can come over a few days a week after school hours without big disruptions. He'll even do chores with us :)

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We have three standing items each week and find it's the right amount for us.  Tuesdays we're usually out of the house most of it, and Wednesday mornings.  But we do the bulk of our schooling in the afternoon so really, we only give up some of Tuesday and school around it.  I dropped other invitations this year because I knew I'd go crazy trying to keep up with it all.  It wasn't only the getting out of the house, but the big part being the social obligation part (being prepared for a class, for example).  The time out is just a fraction of the time that an outing takes away from our week.

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We have extracurriculars most days of the week. Mostly physical activities, park day, outsourcing, and co-op starting in January. We do extracurriculars only late in the afternoon, co-op once a week. Field trips will probably be on the weekends. We don't have play dates ATM, but will probably be no more often than weekly.

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We have nothing Mon and Thurs. On Wed our only thing is P.E., in the afternoon' Tues is our busy day with co op and piano lesson. Friday is a fun day, we meet friends for an activity and park/play.

 

After school hours we have daily swim team year round. Seasonally basketball and soccer.

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Thank you for replying. I have a tendency to commit to too much, I say yes a lot. With this overbooked semester ending in the next 2 weeks, I'm trying not to go into a hermit shell next semester.

Maybe just drop one or two activities from the schedule, or see if there are any weekly things you can change to fortnightly, etc. Obviously you are feeling overstretched right now, but the only way to find the right level of activities for your family is probably to tweak it finely until you hit on something that works. (For now.)

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Well  the 6th grader has weekly golf and tennis lesson, robotics, alg 2, tutoring, math circle, and a math circle led geometry class. Fortunately, most fall on the weekend.  Unfortunately, most fall on the weekend. Next year will be the test when he is eligible as a 7th grader for his school's teams. 

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I would like more completely at home days than we have, but I am also happy with the activities we have. I think we are at a decent balance, though some weeks it sways one way or the other.

 

Monday and Tuesday are home. My sister teaches my kids piano here on Tuesdays. Wednesday mornings is our combo women's Bible study (where I teach)/homeschool group and childcare. Thursdays at noon we head to my mother's and have lunch, then the kids stay there for the afternoon and evening. I do errands and then we have date night.

 

Fridays are sometimes home, sometimes out for activities, etc. Probably 50/50.

 

Since many of these things are luxuries for me (women's group! visit with my mom! date night!), it helps my introverted self with the week. If the activities were more demanding of me, I'd need fewer of them and more days home, especially in a baby year.

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This semester we had school M-Fri. No outside activities M-W. Nature study field trips every other Thursday. Gymnastics on Friday. Soccer on Saturday. Church on Sunday.

 

Next semester 2hrs of Forest School will replace gymnastics on Friday afternoons, but otherwise it will remain the same.

 

If we could, I would love to have an activity every day after school. DS has sooooo much energy! Unfortunately extra-curriculars are really expensive here so we are already maxed out!

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I never did "play dates." 

 

We did a monthly park day with our support group. Sometimes we met spontaneously during the month, but not on a regular basis, and the whole family, not just individual children.

 

We left the house every Thursday for a field trip. No field trips with the support group unless it was on Thursday or it was so awesome that I didn't mind messing up our routine.

 

No outside classes during the day, before 3 in the afternoon. Ever.

 

We had activities at church on Sunday and Wednesday evenings. DDs did Highland dance and 4-H (classes/meetings in the late afternoon/early evening). Eventually ballet took the place of Highland dance, classes in the evening.

 

We stayed home on Mondays and Tuesdays. No exceptions (unless late in the afternoon, for dance or 4-H).

 

We're still homeschooling, and our routine is quite similar to what Ellie's was with her girls. Also, same here, we don't do "play dates." To me, that seems so artificial and random, and it feels like moms (with perhaps very little in common) trying to "match up" their children and saying, "Go play. Go like each other. Go be friends." Awkward. And, I don't think that's how it actually works most of the time.

 

We go to church as a family every Sunday. The girls are either with us in the adult service, or they are in their class with agemates. They have Bible study (with fun activities) on Wednesdays at church.

 

We are home every Monday and Tuesday, no exceptions. I have learned that when we are home on those two days, it establishes our mindset for the rest of the week. We get so much done on Mondays and Tuesdays! It really helps (at least it helps me, LOL) to have these two days devoted to being home, doing school work, catching up on laundry, making a pot of soup, being together (and happy with that) at home.

 

On Wednesdays, we do have school work to accomplish, but it is a bit more relaxed and slower. We have church that night, so we pace ourselves. Thursdays are similar -- school work, chores, exercise, and so on. The girls have choir practice or concerts in the afternoons.

 

We are generally home on Fridays, but Fridays are flexible. If something comes up, we are there. If we find something that takes us out of the house, we go. If the girls seem to be too cooped up, there's always yard work. ;) If it's pouring down rain, there's always books and math. ;) Fridays are for wrapping things up, thinking about and planning for the weekend, reading, playing games, practicing instruments, talking, cooking, whatever. Whether we are at home or out, by Friday we are definitely out of "school-at-home" mode.

 

Saturdays are for chores, yard work, errands, family trips, family time, holiday and birthday celebrations, and rest (not necessarily in that order). We never do fit it all in on one Saturday, KWIM? It sort of rotates.

Edited by Sahamamama2
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We're not doing too badly this year - I cut a few things out on purpose because we have a new baby.

 

Mon and Wed my dd11 has violin, but she walks herself.  Tuesday dd9 and dd11 have piano in the afternoon, and all 3 kids have choir in the evening.

 

Wed dd9 has skating, but gets a drive with a friend.  THat will be finished for the year today.

 

Saturday ds6 has ballet in the morning, and dd11 has chess club in the afternoon.  We can skip chess if necessary, and we tend to combine it with our regular library trip.  I am hoping to convince dd11 to takethe bus to this as well - it is a simple ride.

 

Sunday we all go to church.

 

It helps a lot that most of these things are within about 2 km of our house - choir/church is the only one further.

 

In the past I've found one problem is I plan forgetting about appointments and such, which also take time away from home.

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My husband and I had a firm 3 activities per kid rule decided upon.  1 music, 1 physical, 1 social.  We did leave the option for an extra musical activity if they wanted.  Catechism doesn't really count as an outside activity as much as a class, so I don't try to hold it against them.  

 

Then this year happened and my mom somehow hoodwinked me into 2 physical activities.  This doesn't sound like a big deal until you see that tae kwan do is 4 days a week, and since the kids are in 2 back-to-back classes we are there 2:30-4:30.  Dance is only one day, but Saturday 9:30-11:30.  I actually like the TKD a lot more and I think it is better for them overall, but I am definitely feeling like there is too much.  

 

End result: We have activities every day except for Sunday, and Sunday is church and then my MIL comes over, so I do not count Sunday as a free day.  It's gotten to the point where I don't do extra outings, like library or anything like that.  We are committed through May to both dance and TKD, then something has to go.  My mom is going to throw a fit about it, but it's too much for me, and the kids need at least 1 day at home without obligation. 

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We are very active with outside activities as part of our homeschool, but we are also very scheduled, so that I accomplish the majority of what I want to accomplish. I also school year round, but with different goals and schedules depending on the subject and season in a way that works for us.

 

So our neighborhood school school from beg. of Aug to end of May. This is our official "school year" as well. BUT our co-op, where my kids do some core classes, goes from Sept to mid May. So we have the full month of August to work full time at home with very little field trips besides what I want to do. And the subject load can be lighter as they won't have started some of their courses yet. So I can really jump into new things we are doing at home and hit them hard or finish up things/review before starting the year full on in Sept.

 

So for us currently with a middle schooler and a high schooler and a tag along toddler we school at home on Mondays, but leave semi early for 3 hours of dance classes. We leave the house at 2:00. We do not finish our school by then. They go for 3 hours, come home, have dinner, and wrap up stuff at night as homework. This is part of the deal for the way our schedule works.  I get alone time while bigs are gone for this. I put the toddler down for a nap, have alone time, and can clean and cook. They get a ride home so I only have to drive one way. That is helpful to my sanity.

 

Tues is our at home day. It is also the day that I have to schedule dentist appointments and whatnot, but that is really rare. For the most part, this is our full, long day where we have time for read alouds, catching up and checking in on ongoing stuff, time for projects, etc. We generally go into the evening on this day.

 

Wed. is another school day at home. They only have 2 hrs of dance, so they are home until 2:30. So a bit later than on Mondays. Again I drive and drop off, they get a ride home. So I take toddler home, put her down, etc.

 

Thursdays vary.  Twice a month we have homeschool group activities in the morning. On those mornings the field trip or party or learning activity is school, even for my high schoolers. A short day twice a month doesn't hurt them. We cut out say spelling and English those days. In the afternoons after lunch they wrap up math for the week and homework for their classes at co-op the next day, do some reading, etc.

 

Fridays they have a full day at co-op. Sometimes there is something for the week that I feel didn't get accomplishes as it should have, and they will have homework over the weekend. I have a schedule of what I want accomplished as far as how many math assignments and what have you.

 

On Weekends we often have scouts and related activities, projects, field trips, camping, plus church stuff all day on Sundays. I take the toddler to her dance class on Sat. mornings.

 

This schedule is working well for us.  I don't take the toddler to preschool storytimes and playdates during the week. She has her co-op friends on Fridays, dance on Sat, and church classes on Sundays. I think that is enough for her. Plus she plays with neighborhood kids and her sisters and stays active at home during the week.

 

**** OOps I forgot that for a few weeks, one of my dds has an educational therapy class on Wed. mornings. So I take her and the toddler to that, run by the library, and then come home for lunch and a couple of subjects for her on Wed. before dance. The teen stays home and does her regular work at that time, and the therapy is the middle one's school on those mornings. They do spelling and reading and other things. She does math and reading and science when we get home.  That will only last for a few more weeks.

 

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When my kids were in elementary and middle, it was important for me to keep my mornings at home.  We'd get all our school work out of the way in the morning, starting with more important subjects, and leaving less taxing subjects that I'm okay with letting slide at the end.  Then our afternoons are free for park days and after school activities.  

 

I rejected any regular activities that occurred in the mornings, because that just disrupts our rhythm.  Who wants to do school work in the afternoon?  I did make exceptions for one-time field trips or special events.   

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Our regular out-of-home activities:
Monday - ds music lesson (alternate weeks), dd both playdate

Tuesday -  library, younger dd music lesson, elder dd swimming

Wednesday - both girls Guides

Thursday - all kids drama class, ds flying (once a month)

Friday - younger dd gymnastics, elder dd swimming

Saturday - dd orchestra rehearsal

 

Obviously we have lots of other ad hoc activities, either occasional / one off activities or things with other people.

But we try to keep Sundays free, or at least flexible, because I can't cope with having something scheduled for every single day.

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What is your balance? How much do you do outside the home, how much would you like to do - is it too much, not enough?

 

I'm trying to stop our social pendulum - we are either doing too much or nothing. I have to find a middle.

 

ETA: And social circles! Are you happy with the amount of social circles you have?

 

 

We home educate so HOME comes far before anything outside the home. It can be tough at times, but I find that anything that cuts into our normal "working time" means a few minutes of fun for a more frazzled feeling down the road.

We've had years where we've hung out with a homeschool group & years where we haven't. One year we refused to participate when our group met at 10am on a Thursday. Years when they met on a Friday afternoon was a totally different story. ;)

 

For our home each child generally has 1 extra thing going on outside of the home, but it doesn't happen during school hours. That's it. We aren't currently active with a local group as it's going through some ugly growing pains right now & their time/date doesn't work for our normal schedule either. :) Instead, we choose to seek out a few select families & get together with them as times suit :D

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Our situation is a little different as my DS is an only child living in an area where he gets very little social interaction. So he goes to swimming/gym class twice a week (a private lesson with a teacher, though she often brings her 4 year old along) and three ballet classes a week. We also have scouts which is once or twice a month - usually one night a month plus a camping trip one weekend a month. I am hoping we can also spend more time outside the house (day trips etc.) and more ballet lessons. This might seem excessive but on days when we don't do this I might be the only other person my son talks to (if his dad is away or working long hours) and that gets a bit much a few days in a row.

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I find the balancing so difficult.  We have swung wildly back and forth between doing many activities (6 to 8) to doing only one or two.  

 

It seems to vary depending on whether I've been working.  I worked for the first three years I homeschooled and then when I quit my job, we did ALL the activities and ALL the field trips and I felt like we just ran around like crazy.  We cut back the next year but perhaps too much - I felt like we never left the house or saw other people.

 

Then the following year we actually had a really good balance going - we didn't do any field trips with other families (because my kids just wanted to hang out with the kids not actually pay attention to things).  We did field trips on our own and really enjoyed that - maybe once a month.  We would get together with another homeschooling family about every month and a half just to hang out.  And the kids took swimming, piano/guitar and DD took art classes (only a 6 week class) and was in Girl Guides.

 

Of course then I went and got a job again (only a term position so thankfully it is over now) and when the fall came around, I found that we had again signed up for SO many things.  Fortunately many of them were only for Sept-Dec so we have reevaluated and will be dropping most of those come January and hopefully finding more time to have fun at home, because I feel like we haven't had time to relax at home at all.

 

It's tough, finding that balance.  My kids and I are all extroverts so we need that social time but then I get cranky about not having any time at home to do all the fun things we have here - board games, colouring, sewing, knitting, playing with our Lego and marble run, making our own music etc.

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Our situation is a little different as my DS is an only child living in an area where he gets very little social interaction. So he goes to swimming/gym class twice a week (a private lesson with a teacher, though she often brings her 4 year old along) and three ballet classes a week. We also have scouts which is once or twice a month - usually one night a month plus a camping trip one weekend a month. I am hoping we can also spend more time outside the house (day trips etc.) and more ballet lessons. This might seem excessive but on days when we don't do this I might be the only other person my son talks to (if his dad is away or working long hours) and that gets a bit much a few days in a row.

We have a large age gap between my older set and my youngest. She will be like an only child for the bulk of her homeschooling life once the kids have left for college and life.

 

I can't even imagine what our life will be like, as I am so used to being busy with a houseful of homeschoolers, occasional babysitting kids, all of their activities, etc. We are already a family that needs to be involved in church and homeschool activities for our sanity. Plus my kids are very active in dance classes and scouts too, similar to yours. I see that we will keep those up  when it's just one at home, and probably add more or the quiet might be too much for me!

 

OR I will embrace it and quietly sip my tea in peace, lol. 

 

We have another hs family that has 3 olders close in age, and a younger that is best friends with my mdd.  She is worried about when her olders are all gone, what it will be like for her youngest. They are in dance and one co-op. She feels they may add another co-op. I can't imagine doing that, but who knows when it is just my one at home. I suppose that could be an option.

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When my kids were in elementary and middle, it was important for me to keep my mornings at home.  We'd get all our school work out of the way in the morning, starting with more important subjects, and leaving less taxing subjects that I'm okay with letting slide at the end.  Then our afternoons are free for park days and after school activities.  

 

I rejected any regular activities that occurred in the mornings, because that just disrupts our rhythm.  Who wants to do school work in the afternoon?  I did make exceptions for one-time field trips or special events.   

 

Yes, this is us, mornings are at home, no matter what, however our afternoons are crazy! We have one or two things every day, most days we're late home to make dinner so I get take out. Everything is rushed. I try to scale back, but we have good friends in different circles, we see on different days. It's hard to cut any of them out.

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I have found that amount of outside activities that feels right varies widely by family and also may be different for each kid in a family. One family might do best keeping to a strict "one outside activity per kid" and one family might do best to have something outside the house every day. Some kids are extroverts and need more time with others, some are introverts and need more downtime. 

 

General thoughts that have helped us keep a balance:

 

*Have some times or days that you resist doing outside activities. For us this is evenings and Sundays. We aren't strict about this but we try and keep the evening activities to a minimum. This is harder and harder as the kids get older but it has allowed us to have a lot of great family time when dh is home. We allow some things on Sundays but we won't sign up for anything that requires a regular Sunday commitment (other than church). 

 

*Alternate busy seasons with less busy seasons. Somewhat serendipitously we don't have kids who play any sports in the spring or fall. Our oldest swims year round and my daughter does ballet so those are kind of always there. Summer becomes very busy with summer swim. Winter is basketball. But spring and fall we don't have any other extra sports. This means that we have some free Saturdays in the spring and fall to do things like travel, hike, bike, or just have down time. 

 

*Let the kids personality and interest drive the activities. I have one kid who is not interested in doing anything scheduled or organized. So he doesn't. I have another one who is interested in doing everything. :) We can't do that but I know that for her it's important to have lots of social time and so I try and plan that. 

 

*We do very few organized field trips. We did more when they were little but I have found that we can almost always replicate the same thing ourselves. So if I hear about a great class or tour or field trip the first question I ask myself is "Can we do this on our own?" If the answer is yes, I prefer to do it that way. I like being on our own schedule rather than having to adhere to someone else's. 

 

*We have three main social circles: Church, our Co-Op and Scouts. Swim and Dance might add in there but are more season dependent. When we think about getting involved in new things we try and pick things that overlap with the social circles we already have. So for example, when my oldest was moving from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts we chose a Troop that has families from our homeschool co-op. It has a lot of other kids in it also so he met new people but it has also deepened those relationships he already had. Similarly, we encouraged him to start going to a youth group at a different church that ours (we don't have a youth group at our church) because one of his closest friends was in it. That friend had recently started private school and we knew the youth group would be a way for them to see each other regularly. 

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I think if it feels like too much and dinner isn't happening the way you would want it might be too much. Or you just need to plan dinners better and utilize the crock pot and lunch coolers for on the go. Whichever makes you feel more sane.

 

I know there have been years where we had dinner out at a fast food one night a week regularly because of an activity or we packed our lunch cooler on that night, but multiple nights like that would have been too much for me.

 

I have learned to meal plan and use the crockpot, etc. and that makes everything better. I have a set day of the week for planning and another one for shopping. I sit with the calendar when I am writing the menu for the week to think about what would work best each night.

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We're going all the time. It's fairly rare to have a day where we don't leave the house for an activity or two. My weekends are usually much slower. Too much is just when I feel stressed. Usually my December is really slow because regular activities don't meet. So I took on a few December activities. And now all my regular activities decided to keep on in December for the first time ever! So I am super stressed, and can't wait until the week of Christmas, for everything to finally get back to "normal." 

 

Right now we have Gymnastics for both kids (DD is competitive, so has practice a lot), lego league, Girl scouts, and co op. And DD always has a second sport, which rotates - right now through Dec. 17, it's aerial, but then after that it's back to ninja warrior for a while. It works for us...

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One day a week when we don't leave the house. We seldom do anything in the morning. So those all day field trips might happen twice a year. I just struggle with getting back on track if we miss a mornings school work. We're almost always done by noon, leaving the afternoon free for fun. I have a 10 year age span and I found it was unfair to my high schoolers and middle schoolers to disrupt their learning for those fun field trips particularly when it was just a bunch of little kid things. My big kids just struggled with staying on schedule if we missed too many days.

 

 

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I spend a lot of time contemplating this balance. Many of my close friends think our schedule is insane....in fact I am pretty sure my dh thinks it is insane most days. However, he is an introvert, I and most of my children are extroverts. My children love activities. They also long for home play time because unfortunately we don't get much of it....and that is the one thing that I wish we had more of.

 

School is a priority and the kids know that if it is not getting done, the fun homeschool field trips and activities will not happen.

 

Not a day goes by where we don't have to leave the house. Sometimes I long for a more simplistic life, but my kids have chosen year round competitive sports.

 

Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday dd11 and dd6 have gymnastics, and ds has tennis (all in the afternoon/evening) dd11 goes 20 hours a week, dd6 9 hours a week, and Ds plays tennis 3 hours a week.

 

Wednesday all 3 have piano at our house and then we head to church where we eat dinner with friends, younger 2 have children's choir, and then all 3 have classes.

 

Friday and Saturday dd11 has gymnastics but the other 2 are free.

 

Sunday we have church

 

That is our base schedule that doesn't change. To that we add 1x a month art and nature class with our homeschool group, and 2 field trips a month. The field trips are educational and I am ok if school doesn't get completely done those days, however, I always have. Few things they have to complete if at all possible.

 

We spend so much time with our homeschool group that we don't plan any play dates during school time, but the kids get together with their non homeschooled friends occasionally on the weekends. Dh and I are also part of an active church small group and have monthly family activities with them.

 

I also belong to a large Italian family and several of my siblings homeschool their children so we get together to school together every once in awhile and go out to eat for lunch together regularly.

 

Add to all of this we are about to begin gymnastics meet season where we will travel every weekend in January and February. And Ds is going to play in a church flag football league during that time as well. Thankfully we have involved grandparents who are always around to take a kid where they need to be. 😜

 

We camp any free weekend we get and the kids love that. (We aim for once a month).

 

At this point my oldest doesn't have much time to pursue hobbies, and that makes me sad...but she has chosen this life and I am trying to support her. Dd6 is quickly headed in that direction as well. This is one reason we treasure summers.

 

I used to say no field trips during the day, but now if I stood by that we would never get to go since dd6 has to be at the gym at 2 three days a week and dd11 has to be there at 3:30 on Fridays. I head up our homeschool group and it is full of gymnastics kids so we tend to work around their schedule. Friday's mid day in the fall and then anything but a Friday in the spring since you never know when we will be traveling on Fridays.

 

This post is making my head spin....I think my biggest challenge is keeping the academic rigor at an appropriate standard while allowing them to pursue their sports. I am not willing to sacrifice academics so we have a full plate.

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Well, when our dc were young, we worked around their naps and bed times.  So I rarely, if ever, scheduled anything that interfered with those 2 things.  Then, as they got older it was the increase in the amount and difficulty of their schoolwork which limited our time in the car.  

 

Another factor was the activity itself.  For example, our hs group did ice skating a couple times a month in the afternoon.  We always did that because it was later in the day and not too time-consuming.  But when one hs group we joined had some great field trips that took an entire day, I got all the details about the trips and we did those as a family on the weekends with dh.  I found that MUCH more enjoyable for our entire family.

 

At the times when we were able to find a church, that was more than enough socializing for us.  Ideally, I would have liked for us to have stayed put in one place and attended the same church all that time, really getting to know people, etc.  But that never happened.

 

I think the deciding factor for me was the amount and quality of the school we were getting done.  I knew I only had these kids for a short time and what I did with them in that time would impact them for the rest of their lives.  So I determined to do what I had to do to make sure I didn't let them down.  And I never cared about socialization.  After having one go through the public schools, that was the least of my worries for the next 5 kids.

 

ymmv, of course. 

 

Yes, thank you! We originally began homescholing our eldest for academic reasons, but then have gotten caught up in the busy-be-social trap. Thank you so much for this reminder.

 

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