My daughter is resisting treatment for depression

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well I'm confused by her saying sad vs happy.  This isn't really my understanding of what depression is (sadness or lack of happiness).  I say this from personal experience as well as experiences of those I've lived with who had depression.  But I also don't want to claim it is the same for everyone so who knows.  Plus she might just lack the terminology and is using "sad vs. happy". 

 

It's very common for people to resist treatment.  It's like they need to figure out that they really need the medication or something.  Nearly all of my family members with chronic mental health conditions went on and off medications many times before figuring out they needed them.

 

That's all I got.  Sorry. 

[fairfarmhand]

it could  be she's feeling disconcerted because she's not used to feeling healthy and that is what is making her uncomfortable. 

 

many medications can also have side-effects. you may need to carefully probe to see if it's there are side-effects and those may be that to which she is objecting, but she lacks experience to accurately describe or identify them.  

 

Yes this!

[Mimm]

I'm probably going to get slammed for this, but I would let her go off the medication as long as she continued therapy. She needs to learn appropriate coping mechanisms and how to deal with her emotions and antidepressants don't teach that, therapy does. The change in her behavior may be slower but can still happen.

I just know how much I hate antidepressants and how much I would resent someone for making me take them. This is actually where your therapist should come in. If the Dr thinks she will not a harm to herself or others, then medication should be optional. Depressed does not automatically equal suicidal.

 

No, I appreciate the input, no slamming from me.

 

However, I'm reluctant to let her cope on her own because we've pretty much been there done that. She's always been an emotional volatile person, but I would say the actual depression is about a couple years old. So I'm pretty familiar with how she'll cope on her own.

 

Sorry, I did not mean anything I said in a critical way, just looking at all possibilities. I am glad you are comfortable with dr and therapist.

 

Best wishes to you and your dd.

 

I am a bit raw about all this. It's a sensitive topic.

[Mimm]

I was able to talk to her on the way home from school (bought her Starbucks, muahaha!) She was irritated at first but came around and agreed to give it more time. It's funny, she said, "Well diabetes is a physical thing, depression is just emotional." I said, "No, depression is a brain chemistry thing." She gets upset when people dismiss depression as something people should just "get over" but she does that to herself sometimes. :)

 

Thanks for the input, everyone.

[maize]

Maybe it would help to have the dr. or therapist spend some time explaining to her again just how very much a physical thing depression is?

 

Glad you were able to talk to her.

Edited March 28, 2016 by maize

[MaeFlowers]

No, I appreciate the input, no slamming from me.

 

However, I'm reluctant to let her cope on her own because we've pretty much been there done that. She's always been an emotional volatile person, but I would say the actual depression is about a couple years old. So I'm pretty familiar with how she'll cope on her own.

 

 

I am a bit raw about all this. It's a sensitive topic.

I don't think she should cope on her own. I think she needs therapy. Are you saying she has a hard time coping even with therapy?

 

Antidepressants were created to be used short term. They are supposed to help give the energy/drive to get into therapy so that you can learn new cognitive processes/behaviors. Once those behaviors are ingrained, that is you're practicing them, you can try going off of meds. For some, this works, others not so much. Maybe if she understood that, she would be willing to extend the trial period.

On the other side, If she quits, she might realize just how lousy she really felt. But be warned, she may not be able to return to the exact rx she is currently taking and have to find another.

[Pen]

I'm wondering about things like the sad books.

 

Is she busy building her own neural connections to crave sadness, depression, crying?  Or in a sense, just strengthening the sadness, tears, type connections, and maybe increasing her production of sadness neurochemicals?  So maybe it becomes an increasingly strong feedback loop, so to speak?

 

Maybe she needs to deliberately work on things like enjoying happy, funny, and so on books, and learning to enjoy the feelings that those sorts of books provide?

[OnMyOwn]

As someone else said, she may not be thinking clearly right now and you may need to make some decisions for her.  It might be hard, but, imo, I think as long as you feel you have her best interests in mind and that you have a good treatment plan, you should go ahead and require her to follow it.  It's always hard to say because every situation is different, but I'm pretty sure that is what I would do.

[Laurie4b]

 

 

I am a bit raw about all this. It's a sensitive topic.

 

I am the person who first asked about being on meds for depression if she also has manic episodes. 

 

The approach to meds if she is bipolar is much more complex and antidepressants can make things worse (not necessarily right away) which is why I was confused and asked the question in the first place. 

 

Does the GP who is prescribing the medication know about the manic-appearing episodes? It would be really surprising that a GP would be prescribing meds for a patient who was even possibly bipolar because it's a much more complex condition to manage medically and most wouldn't want to risk being the one to make the wrong call and being liable for it.

 

The fact that you have seen what you think are manic episodes is enough of a red flag that is causing people to suggest a psychiatrist. 

 

 If we go back to other disease analogies, if your dd was being treated by a gp for what the doctor thought was IBS, but there were some other symptoms that people recognized from their experience as possibly indicating a more complicated diagnosis, people would suggest a gastroenterologist. That's what we're doing here. No criticism of your parenting, just giving information. The issue is that when you mentioned "manic" episodes, that is "red flag" type information . It would be wrong of us not to tell you what we know about that. 

 

I think everyone who has posted recognizes that it very hard to parent a teen with mental illness and their normal need for growing autonomy is countered by the need to stabilize the mental health issues. The effect on your family could be thought of as a symptom of the disease and an indication of it's impact. That is part of diagnosis: how much does this condition interfere with a patient's daily life? If it's making their family miserable, that's part of the patient's daily life. Does that make sense? It's not her needs vs. your needs. It's how big an impact does this have? Going to the example of a physical disease, if a patient requires help getting on and off the potty, that is impacting the patient's functioning. A separate decision is who is best equipped to help. Usually family will be impacted by that. I hope this is making sense. Bottom line is it is not her needs versus the needs of the family, but her needs and the family impact is a result of her degree of impairment.  

 

If she is bipolar, it's even more critical for her needs that she get well-stabilized while she is a minor in your household. 

[gardenmom5]

I am the person who first asked about being on meds for depression if she also has manic episodes. 

 

The approach to meds if she is bipolar is much more complex and antidepressants can make things worse (not necessarily right away) which is why I was confused and asked the question in the first place. 

 

Does the GP who is prescribing the medication know about the manic-appearing episodes? It would be really surprising that a GP would be prescribing meds for a patient who was even possibly bipolar because it's a much more complex condition to manage medically and most wouldn't want to risk being the one to make the wrong call and being liable for it.

 

The fact that you have seen what you think are manic episodes is enough of a red flag that is causing people to suggest a psychiatrist. 

 

 If we go back to other disease analogies, if your dd was being treated by a gp for what the doctor thought was IBS, but there were some other symptoms that people recognized from their experience as possibly indicating a more complicated diagnosis, people would suggest a gastroenterologist. That's what we're doing here. No criticism of your parenting, just giving information. The issue is that when you mentioned "manic" episodes, that is "red flag" type information . It would be wrong of us not to tell you what we know about that. 

 

I think everyone who has posted recognizes that it very hard to parent a teen with mental illness and their normal need for growing autonomy is countered by the need to stabilize the mental health issues. The effect on your family could be thought of as a symptom of the disease and an indication of it's impact. That is part of diagnosis: how much does this condition interfere with a patient's daily life? If it's making their family miserable, that's part of the patient's daily life. Does that make sense? It's not her needs vs. your needs. It's how big an impact does this have? Going to the example of a physical disease, if a patient requires help getting on and off the potty, that is impacting the patient's functioning. A separate decision is who is best equipped to help. Usually family will be impacted by that. I hope this is making sense. Bottom line is it is not her needs versus the needs of the family, but her needs and the family impact is a result of her degree of impairment.  

 

If she is bipolar, it's even more critical for her needs that she get well-stabilized while she is a minor in your household. 

 

this.

 

also -- OP, you need to define and clarify what is a manic episode.  

 

do the manic-like episodes you see fit the criteria of a manic episode for someone with bipolar?  (if you haven't already, you should be able to read up on the criteria online.)  I'm only saying that because of the times I've seen people use a descriptor because something is similar - but it  isn't as intense nor meet the criteria.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree with Laurie and Kristen.  The thing you need to realize, OP, is that the brain chemistry is different for someone with bipolar vs. depression.  So getting a correct diagnosis is key for being able to give the brain what it needs in order to be healthy. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I was able to talk to her on the way home from school (bought her Starbucks, muahaha!) She was irritated at first but came around and agreed to give it more time. It's funny, she said, "Well diabetes is a physical thing, depression is just emotional." I said, "No, depression is a brain chemistry thing." She gets upset when people dismiss depression as something people should just "get over" but she does that to herself sometimes. :)

 

Thanks for the input, everyone.

 

It's confusing for sure.  And there is no blood test.  So there is no official way to tell exactly. 

[Mimm]

I'm wondering about things like the sad books.

 

Is she busy building her own neural connections to crave sadness, depression, crying?  Or in a sense, just strengthening the sadness, tears, type connections, and maybe increasing her production of sadness neurochemicals?  So maybe it becomes an increasingly strong feedback loop, so to speak?

 

Maybe she needs to deliberately work on things like enjoying happy, funny, and so on books, and learning to enjoy the feelings that those sorts of books provide?

 

I have no idea what to think about this. She openly enjoys sad books/movies/tv shows. The best way to get her to read something is to tell her it's really sad.

 

If someone without depression/bipolar told me they loved sad books, I'd laugh it off as their own weird quirk. I don't want to see everything about my daughter through a lens of depression, but that is an integral part of who she is.

 

I am the person who first asked about being on meds for depression if she also has manic episodes. 

 

The approach to meds if she is bipolar is much more complex and antidepressants can make things worse (not necessarily right away) which is why I was confused and asked the question in the first place. 

 

Does the GP who is prescribing the medication know about the manic-appearing episodes? It would be really surprising that a GP would be prescribing meds for a patient who was even possibly bipolar because it's a much more complex condition to manage medically and most wouldn't want to risk being the one to make the wrong call and being liable for it.

 

The fact that you have seen what you think are manic episodes is enough of a red flag that is causing people to suggest a psychiatrist. 

 

 If we go back to other disease analogies, if your dd was being treated by a gp for what the doctor thought was IBS, but there were some other symptoms that people recognized from their experience as possibly indicating a more complicated diagnosis, people would suggest a gastroenterologist. That's what we're doing here. No criticism of your parenting, just giving information. The issue is that when you mentioned "manic" episodes, that is "red flag" type information . It would be wrong of us not to tell you what we know about that. 

 

I think everyone who has posted recognizes that it very hard to parent a teen with mental illness and their normal need for growing autonomy is countered by the need to stabilize the mental health issues. The effect on your family could be thought of as a symptom of the disease and an indication of it's impact. That is part of diagnosis: how much does this condition interfere with a patient's daily life? If it's making their family miserable, that's part of the patient's daily life. Does that make sense? It's not her needs vs. your needs. It's how big an impact does this have? Going to the example of a physical disease, if a patient requires help getting on and off the potty, that is impacting the patient's functioning. A separate decision is who is best equipped to help. Usually family will be impacted by that. I hope this is making sense. Bottom line is it is not her needs versus the needs of the family, but her needs and the family impact is a result of her degree of impairment.  

 

If she is bipolar, it's even more critical for her needs that she get well-stabilized while she is a minor in your household. 

 

Thank you for the additional information. I have an appointment with her doctor soon to discuss meds further and I'll discuss this more with her.

 

this.

 

also -- OP, you need to define and clarify what is a manic episode.  

 

do the manic-like episodes you see fit the criteria of a manic episode for someone with bipolar?  (if you haven't already, you should be able to read up on the criteria online.)  I'm only saying that because of the times I've seen people use a descriptor because something is similar - but it  isn't as intense nor meet the criteria.

 

When I say a manic episode, it's an extreme happiness and good mood, all the time, for days at a time. She feels good about everything going on in her life. She writes and draws feverishly, or sometimes has a hard time focusing on it at all. She's extremely high energy, running through the house, tripping over things, etc. She can't sleep. It's hard to express just how giddy and happy she is during these phases. She's been laying on the floor more than once laughing uncontrollably and saying, "I don't know why I'm laughing!!" She cried tears of joy because we were having taquitos for dinner one night. She's loud and rambunctious and tends to hurt her sister accidentally with hugs and rough housing (rather immature behavior).

 

I don't find her displaying egotistical or reckless behavior as described in the google searches I did. But the mood swings are so markedly different from her depressive phases. I don't know, maybe I'm just exaggerating it in my mind. She's always, since babyhood, been high energy and intense. She runs through the house constantly, even when not in a manic phase. She moves quickly through life. She reads quickly, is always doing more than one things, has terrible focus (unmedicated ADHD), is impulsive and scattered and impatient... What parts of her personality are just her personality and what parts are depression, what parts are ADHD?

 

This feels like I'm bashing her a bit and I don't mean to. She's wonderfully creative, passionate about her interests, extremely empathetic, funny, cares deeply about what is right.

[Joker]

My dd was on a medication that we felt was working and we didn't listen to get when she wanted to stop. She eventually stopped on her own and just pretended to take it daily. We found out and listened more closely to her. She also felt therapy was pointless. We switched therapists, found a good psychiatrist and switched her medications. Our current therapist said the medicine dd was on actually probably made her issues worse so it was good she quit taking them behind our back. Dd also needs more than one medication. She's currently on two but they think she is bi polar and want to add a third. We're finally starting to see real progress. It's still very slow going and will continue to be for a while. It's not at all easy on the rest of the family but the ultimate goal for us is a healthy dd who will be able to function on her own in the world.

[gardenmom5]

I have no idea what to think about this. She openly enjoys sad books/movies/tv shows. The best way to get her to read something is to tell her it's really sad.

 

If someone without depression/bipolar told me they loved sad books, I'd laugh it off as their own weird quirk. I don't want to see everything about my daughter through a lens of depression, but that is an integral part of who she is.

 

 

Thank you for the additional information. I have an appointment with her doctor soon to discuss meds further and I'll discuss this more with her.

 

 

When I say a manic episode, it's an extreme happiness and good mood, all the time, for days at a time. She feels good about everything going on in her life. She writes and draws feverishly, or sometimes has a hard time focusing on it at all. She's extremely high energy, running through the house, tripping over things, etc. She can't sleep. It's hard to express just how giddy and happy she is during these phases. She's been laying on the floor more than once laughing uncontrollably and saying, "I don't know why I'm laughing!!" She cried tears of joy because we were having taquitos for dinner one night. She's loud and rambunctious and tends to hurt her sister accidentally with hugs and rough housing (rather immature behavior).

 

I don't find her displaying egotistical or reckless behavior as described in the google searches I did. But the mood swings are so markedly different from her depressive phases. I don't know, maybe I'm just exaggerating it in my mind. She's always, since babyhood, been high energy and intense. She runs through the house constantly, even when not in a manic phase. She moves quickly through life. She reads quickly, is always doing more than one things, has terrible focus (unmedicated ADHD), is impulsive and scattered and impatient... What parts of her personality are just her personality and what parts are depression, what parts are ADHD?

 

This feels like I'm bashing her a bit and I don't mean to. She's wonderfully creative, passionate about her interests, extremely empathetic, funny, cares deeply about what is right.

when I was in a profoundly stressed place in my life - I loved reading very angsty fiction (with a happy ending - to give me hope  there was a light at the end of the tunnel.). it was an outlet. I was eventually medicated, and I lost interest in angst because I got mentally healthier. emotionally healthy people do NOT submerse themselves in sad  fiction. (they might occasionally read it - but they read other genres too.)  sad people use it as an outlet.  a favorite author started writing as an outlet for her PPD.  iow: she wasn't in a healthy place either.

 

sometimes I would laugh inappropriately too.  It was a chemical  release - like dumping an overflow because it has no where else to go and there's no room to store it.   I recognized it was not normal, but I could not control it. 

 

for me, while my chemistry was very messed up - I wasn't, and am not, bipolar - but my chemistry was swinging back and forth (in ever widening arcs) in my brain's attempt to achieve a balance.  that balance only came through rx. but I was older, and knew what was normal  and that I wasn't.  and yeah - it calmed the hills and the valley's.  two days after I started it - I could "feel" an episode, but I felt detached from it and it wasn't affecting me.  it was only an antidepressant - but I'm the only one I know of who was on it who did NOT have trouble getting off of it.  I was in pretty serious circumstances.

 

 the DSM IV (5 is supposedly more restrictive, and not available online)  criteria for bipolar manic is they must last a minimum of a week:

and include a minimum of three typical characteristics.

 

no one thinks you're bashing your daughter.  we  think you're a loving mom who is struggling to figure out what is going on with her mental health so you can get her the medical help she needs.  you're doing that BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER.

Edited March 29, 2016 by gardenmom5

[momof4babes]

when I was in a profoundly stressed place in my life - I loved reading very angsty fiction (with a happy ending - to give me hope there was a light at the end of the tunnel.). it was an outlet. I was eventually medicated, and I lost interest in angst because I got mentally healthier. emotionally healthy people do NOT submerse themselves in sad fiction. (they might occasionally read it - but they read other genres too.) sad people use it as an outlet. a favorite author started writing as an outlet for her PPD. iow: she wasn't in a healthy place either.

 

sometimes I would laugh inappropriately too. It was a chemical release - like dumping an overflow because it has no where else to go and there's no room to store it. I recognized it was not normal, but I could not control it.

 

for me, while my chemistry was very messed up - I wasn't, and am not, bipolar - but my chemistry was swinging back and forth (in ever widening arcs) in my brain's attempt to achieve a balance. that balance only came through rx. but I was older, and knew what was normal and that I wasn't. and yeah - it calmed the hills and the valley's. two days after I started it - I could "feel" an episode, but I felt detached from it and it wasn't affecting me. it was only an antidepressant - but I'm the only one I know of who was on it who did NOT have trouble getting off of it. I was in pretty serious circumstances.

 

the criteria for bipolar manic is they must last a minimum of a week:

and include a minimum of three typical characteristics.

 

no one thinks you're bashing your daughter. we think you're a loving mom who is struggling to figure out what is going on with her mental health so you can get her the medical help she needs. you're doing that BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER.

You are definitely not bashing your daughter OP.

You are simply describing symptoms.

 

What you describe certainly sounds like a manic episode IME. A good psychiatrist would be the expert to look at the overall picture, and put it all together.

Edited March 29, 2016 by momof4babes

[Alessandra]

no one thinks you're bashing your daughter. we think you're a loving mom who is struggling to figure out what is going on with her mental health so you can get her the medical help she needs. you're doing that BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER.

This.

[maize]

What you described sounds like a manic episode to me as well.

 

Strongly, strongly recommend you find a psychiatrist. Do it tomorrow, first thing; they can take a long time to get in to see. A qualified psychiatrist will be able to look at your dd's full profile and history and make the most accurate diagnosis and treatment recommendations. I would not trust a pediatrician or family practice dr. to manage something that could possibly be bipolar; it is just too complex.

Edited March 29, 2016 by maize

[gardenmom5]

What you described sounds like a manic episode to me as well.

 

Strongly, strongly recommend you find a psychiatrist. Do it tomorrow, first thing; they can take a long time to get in to see. A qualified psychiatrist will be able to look at your dd's full profile and history and make the most accurate diagnosis and treatment recommendations. I would not trust a pediatrician or family practice dr. to manage something that could possibly be bipolar; it is just too complex.

 

oh no way in h3ll!  nothing to do with mental/emotional health.

 

peds (and other PCPs) are NOT trained in mental health, and should not be relied upon to give a needed diagnosis.

 

you will get answers faster with a psychiatrist - and they can also prescribe rx  more effectively because of their experience.

 

and yes,  there can be a wait time to get into one.

[Mergath]

Sounds like a manic episode to me, too. And keep in mind that not everyone who is bipolar has manic/depressive episodes that fit perfectly with the descriptions online. My dh's manic episodes present as him not sleeping for days at a time, with his mind racing and extreme agitation and irritability. He doesn't, however, become wildly productive or happy. There are different types of bipolar disorder, too. It's a very hard thing to try to figure out without the help of a psychiatrist. 

[Critterfixer]

I'd third or fourth the psychiatrist, regardless. I found it very useful to have a psychiatrist dealing with my medications and assessments. I was fortunate enough to have one that was willing to listen to my assessment of how I felt while on medications, and we ended up finding an antidepressant that I tolerated and did well on for about a year or so. ( I couldn't deal with SSRIs.) You actually might be able to use the need to consult a psychiatrist in your favor: It would be a second, better opinion on the medications for your daughter, and also it might be good for her to hear from a highly qualified individual that medications do take time to establish a new state of chemistry in the brain. 

[Okra]

Yes! She's SUCH an intense person and she likes that intensity. So the fact that she's able to feel sad and happy and angry on her meds isn't "good enough" for her. Because she's not feeling things as intensely.

 

What that intensity does to the rest of us and TO HER doesn't seem to bother her.

 

 

HUGS.  This is a super difficult situation for you to be in.  I KNOW you are not interested in hearing this, but I am jumping in saying that this sounds exactly like my bi-polar friend.  If your current treatment seems to be working then fine.  But, please keep your mind open to other possibilities as well. I do think you should keep her opinion in mind, as that is the going to be critical when she grows up and makes her own decisions. Open family support is so wonderful to have.

 

I read the above quote, and immediately decided to post without reading the rest of the comments, because it sounded so much like a dear friend of mine.

 

Being on anti depressants was actually the thing that helped diagnose my friend, as it swung him over to a manic phase. He was then diagnosed and put on medicine for bipolar.  He always hated his medicine, he said it boxed in his emotions, and he hated it.

 

But, from my perspective, the medicine worked fabulously. When on the medicine, his life just kind of hummed along okay with not any terrible drama.

 

But, when off the medicine, for him, he would do things ln a manic phase like this:  He would pick up someone's cello and randomly play a few bits.  He would decide he LOVED the cello and he could be an amazing cello player.  So, because he wanted a fine quality instrument he went out and purchased a $5000 cello (which he couldn't really afford).  Honestly, he could do amazing things during his manic phases, and it make me a little bit jealous to see all his energy and enthusiasm.  But, reality was hard to find when he was in a manic phase, and that is why the medicine was good.

 

Because eventually, he would come out of the manic phase become depressed and sad, lose his job (his cello also) and it was just a terrible cycle.  

 

But, overall, he hated his medicine.  He was on and off it for years and years.  He did not like that his emotions were boxed in. He wanted to feel everything.  But, when off the medicine his life would be very difficult to manage, and he had a hard hard time with the reality of everything.

 

So, overall, I just wanted to extend you hugs, and encourage you to keep your mind open just in case it is more than depression. I hope you and your daughter are able to find a path that works for both of you.

Edited March 29, 2016 by Okra

[Alessandra]

I wanted to add one random comment, *not* directed at op, but just because it is pertinent to the discussion.

 

We have an amazing pediatrician, smart, dedicated, caring -- I could go on. She will not prescribe psychiatric drugs. She says it is simply too complicated, medicines often act differently in children than in adults, and practitioners like psychiatrists who deal with drugs all the time are the only ones to go to.

[MooCow]

We know how to help her. Our current treatment is working, she's just resistant to it... I'm mostly interested at this point what people think about the ethics of forcing a teen to accept treatment she doesn't really want.

 

My dh and I did not make it an option. Until he was 18 he took his meds. When he turned 18 then it was his choice.

Then the carp hit the fan, but that's another story.

[Okra]

My dh and I did not make it an option. Until he was 18 he took his meds. When he turned 18 then it was his choice.

Then the carp hit the fan, but that's another story.

 

Well, I have a feeling this is what the OP wants to avoid. This is why she wants to take into consideration what her daughter is thinking.  I think it is wise to take into account what the daughter is thinking/feeling, and keeping an open discourse so that the daughter feels that she has some say in the treatment, while still having DD receive mental health care.  (I don't know how to do that, though, it is a complicated situation.)  

 

Hopefully, OP can keep an open line of communication so that when DD turns eighteen there won't be an about face. I believe that is what the OP originally was asking.

[nd293]

It seems really crappy to drug one child for everyone else's sake, but it seems crappy to let her inflict her crazy mood swings on me, her father and her little sisters.

Are you looking at this as an annoying emotional display, like tantrums in a young child? If so, I guess it would be crappy to drug one child for everyone else's sake.

 

But you seem to view this as an illness (which it is), so it should be treated as such. If you replaced depression with epilepsy you would not think there was any concern about treatment. I'm not sure I agree about following children's wishes when it comes to medical matters in general, but to follow a child's wishes on a matter where their ability to think clearly is impacted by the original condition...it makes no sense.

 

I went on medication for short term depression, and yes, anger was the primary emotion. I didn't drug myself so that my anger didn't effect everyone else: I treated the condition with medication as required, while making lifestyle changes, just as I would have with any major health issue.

[Joker]

We listened to our child, a teen, because if she doesn't learn to take responsibility for her illness then it's all pointless. I'm not just in it right now to make our home life easier.

 

I need dd to understand that therapy can be good and can help. So, I had to take her feelings into consideration when choosing one. I liked several that she didn't. We kept looking. We now have one she trusts and likes. I just consider it a bonus I do too. This is one that she would keep seeing as an adult and that's important to me.

 

I must take her feelings regarding medication into consideration also. She needs to know she has a voice and also see that medication can help. If I just force it, she won't continue with it outside of my home. When she feels more in control, she takes it with no problem. Hopefully that will continue outside of my home.

 

My goal is for her to function well when she is on her own. I don't just want to force her into these things because she will need them for a very long time. I know it may not work out how I would like but I need to feel I truly did all I could.

[EndOfOrdinary]

A very wise person once told me that if an addict likes you, you are not helping. Your daugher sounds a bit like she has some rather difficult ideas about emotions. She sounds a bit like a "sad addict." If that is the case, the best thing you can do is the stuff that really makes her rather negative toward you. My husband is an addict due to mental health reasons. It is not fun.

 

As someone who was diagnosed bipolar when around that age, I would suggest getting her thyroid checked. I was not bipolar. I have hormone issues. The medication I refused my parents wanted me on. It made me feel terribly blah and very unsettled. If she has not had complete bloodwork done, you might really want to get her in. There are lots of things that make a person react the way she does.

 

I did love therapy, however. I really needed someone to hear me out and tell me I was not crazy.

[Soror]

As someone who was diagnosed bipolar when around that age, I would suggest getting her thyroid checked. I was not bipolar. I have hormone issues. 

I've never been diagnosed with anything but have experienced the swings from thyroid and hormone issues, thankfully they are leveling out with treatment(my highs aren't so high and lows aren't so low) but it is not unusual for Hashi's patients to go up and down as the thyroid is killed off.

[EndOfOrdinary]

I've never been diagnosed with anything but have experienced the swings from thyroid and hormone issues, thankfully they are leveling out with treatment(my highs aren't so high and lows aren't so low) but it is not unusual for Hashi's patients to go up and down as the thyroid is killed off.

I have Hashimoto's as well. It was not anything ever really talked about in Tiny Mill Town, USA when I grew up. I was just "crazy." It was discovered when I became pregnant with my son while on birth control and then had weird hormonal stuff going on. Since it has been being treated, it is night and day from how completely out of control I really was with the high/low. I just had no idea what normal felt like!

 

ETA:autocorrect did some very funny changes!

Edited March 31, 2016 by EndOfOrdinary