Popular Post Donna Posted December 18, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted December 18, 2015 (edited) **UPDATE in post #25** I was reading the stories of people being sad or not feeling like celebrating during the holidays so thought I would share my story... Backstory: My husband's parents have both passed away and most of his family live 8 hours away (we visit them for Thanksgiving). My family lives far away and aren't speaking to me anyway, something I spent over a year being depressed about but cannot take any more ignored invitations so have stopped trying (it's been 3+ years). This time of year always makes me sad. No large family gatherings and my kids are older, the fun of little ones is over, gifts are small and practical, and they mostly know what they are getting. I decorate, bake, and put on a smile for my kids, especially dd who loves the holiday. A little over a month ago, we were visiting a single friend, divorced with adult kids who have all moved far away, and she was telling me how sad she feels being alone during the holidays. Even though I have my immediate family, I miss the fun of an extended family celebration so I invited her to stay a long weekend and celebrate Christmas with us. She agreed and we made plans to add some of her "family" traditions in with ours and celebrate. Then a couple weeks ago, a neighbor a few houses down asked middle ds to help with her husband in the beginning stages of Alzheimers. (Ds has shoveled snow and cleaned gardens for her in the past.) The husband was tired of being stuck at home all day with only his wife and was upset he no longer had his driver's license. Ds takes him "out" once a week now. They go to Home Depot, do any shopping he'd like to do, sit and talk over coffee at Starbucks, etc… Both he and ds enjoy the outings. Originally neighbor offered to pay ds hourly for this but he refused so she gives him enough to cover their coffee. This couple never had children and I thought they might be alone for Christmas, so I encouraged ds to invite them for Christmas dinner. He called the wife the other night and while he was sitting next to me talking to her on the phone, his eyes filled with tears. He got off the phone and said she told him they had just made plans to eat Christmas dinner at a restaurant but she was "so honored" to be asked to a Christmas dinner because they "had never been asked to a Christmas dinner before" (the reason for ds and then my tears when he told me) and were always lonely during the holidays. She called me later to offer to bring something for dessert and was so excited she just kept talking and talking and the joy in her voice was evident. It is not like me to offer invitations to other people especially people I barely know like these neighbors or this friend who is a relatively new friend…I don't deal well with even the possibility of rejection. I am not sure what made me feel a strong need to step outside my comfort zone in these situations but I am glad I did. Hopefully we will have a wonderful celebration and make some closer/new friends at the same time. Hoping maybe my story might encourage anyone who knows someone who might be lonely this time of year to visit or give them an invitation if you have the ability. Edited December 27, 2015 by Donna 79 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I hope you have a wonderful Christmas! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I love this! We had a recently divorced man at Christmas one year. He had no other family close by. The next year, he'd found other people to celebrate with and that was fine. We were glad to be there for him when he was all alone that one year. We go out to Chinese Lunch with our older friends who don't have much family nearby and who weren't able to have kids when they were young. They love it that they go out to Chinese Lunch with us. I was an only child and my parents were the only family within 2500 miles. We spend Christmas with just the three of us and I loved it. Don't worry that your kids are missing out. I adored Christmas because my parents adored it and made it fun. Just make it fun for your kids and they'll be fine. Create your own memories with just your little family. With that said, I think it's really wonderful that you can invite others to join with you. Maybe you have created a tradition with them that will last forever (like my older Chinese Lunch friends), or maybe just for this year (like the divorced man), but either way, good job on turning something sad into something sweet and precious. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I'm so glad you stepped out of your comfort zone, too! Thank you for sharing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 We have gathered the "strays" in the past for Christmas - single people with no nearby family, or sometimes couples who don't have family close to celebrate with. This is always lovely. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 No one should be alone for Christmas! Thanks for stepping out of your comfort zone, and for sharing your story. I know you will have a lovely Christmas celebration! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 That's great that you did that! We have an open door policy at christmas (and easter). Many years we've only had family, but a few years ago we had a disabled friend, and this year it looks like we will have a friend who moved away with his family years ago, and just moved back recently but without family this time, so he's a bit of a stray. I hope we have more opportunities to have people come for Christmas, it's a wonderful atmosphere when you have people like that with you for the holidays. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Oh Donna, that is such a lovely story. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. Be sure to give us an update in a few days! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Your story brought tears to my eyes, Donna! :hurray: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewelma Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 In my area we call it 'Orphans' Christmas.' Anyone in a couple block radius who is without family join in at my neighbor's house; she has done this for 10 years. There are a lot of internationals in NZ, so last year there neighbors from America, China, Czech Republic, and Latvia. It is so special to have this open invitation, as we are without family here. Ruth in NZ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 We have a big festive community dinner at church between the services. Everyone brings something. I think it's a rather nice tradition and no one has to be alone and has something fun to do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Thanks for sharing such a lovely story. Apart from the religious significance of the celebration for me, what you have explained is exactly how it really should all play out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I was reading the stories of people being sad or not feeling like celebrating during the holidays so thought I would share my story... Backstory: My husband's parents have both passed away and most of his family live 8 hours away (we visit them for Thanksgiving). My family lives far away and aren't speaking to me anyway, something I spent over a year being depressed about but cannot take any more ignored invitations so have stopped trying (it's been 3+ years). This time of year always makes me sad. No large family gatherings and my kids are older, the fun of little ones is over, gifts are small and practical, and they mostly know what they are getting. I decorate, bake, and put on a smile for my kids, especially dd who loves the holiday. A little over a month ago, we were visiting a single friend, divorced with adult kids who have all moved far away, and she was telling me how sad she feels being alone during the holidays. Even though I have my immediate family, I miss the fun of an extended family celebration so I invited her to stay a long weekend and celebrate Christmas with us. She agreed and we made plans to add some of her "family" traditions in with ours and celebrate. Then a couple weeks ago, a neighbor a few houses down asked middle ds to help with her husband in the beginning stages of Alzheimers. (Ds has shoveled snow and cleaned gardens for her in the past.) The husband was tired of being stuck at home all day with only his wife and was upset he no longer had his driver's license. Ds takes him "out" once a week now. They go to Home Depot, do any shopping he'd like to do, sit and talk over coffee at Starbucks, etc… Both he and ds enjoy the outings. Originally neighbor offered to pay ds hourly for this but he refused so she gives him enough to cover their coffee. This couple never had children and I thought they might be alone for Christmas, so I encouraged ds to invite them for Christmas dinner. He called the wife the other night and while he was sitting next to me talking to her on the phone, his eyes filled with tears. He got off the phone and said she told him they had just made plans to eat Christmas dinner at a restaurant but she was "so honored" to be asked to a Christmas dinner because they "had never been asked to a Christmas dinner before" (the reason for ds and then my tears when he told me) and were always lonely during the holidays. She called me later to offer to bring something for dessert and was so excited she just kept talking and talking and the joy in her voice was evident. It is not like me to offer invitations to other people especially people I barely know like these neighbors or this friend who is a relatively new friend…I don't deal well with even the possibility of rejection. I am not sure what made me feel a strong need to step outside my comfort zone in these situations but I am glad I did. Hopefully we will have a wonderful celebration and make some closer/new friends at the same time. Hoping maybe my story might encourage anyone who knows someone who might be lonely this time of year to visit or give them an invitation if you have the ability. Where is the love button when you need it? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 made me smile! Also, as a true introvert I do not like having people I don't know in my house. Or even people I know sometimes, lol. I get a bit anxious, and awkward sometimes. But when I invited DH's brother and brother's girlfriend over for Christmas dinner (a small thing Christmas day, we do a big dinner christmas eve with my family when BIL and girlfriend are at work), she asked if she could bring her father. Of course, I had to say yes, but was kind of annoyed that we'd have a total stranger over. I knew I SHOULDN"T be annoyed, but hey, I'm not perfect. Anyway, I was anxious about it but he was the most lovely man! He was an aging hippie, lol, and told great stories and we had a lovely time. I was SO glad I "did the right thing" and invited him despite my introvert inclinations. And he's coming again this year, lol! I hope you have a lovely Christmas! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Have a lovely Christmas, you are creating special memories. Thank you for sharing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 That is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 (edited) Bravo! May this kindness be returned to you and your family--especially your son. What a great kid! A heartfelt Merry Christmas! Edited December 19, 2015 by Jane in NC 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 What a lovely story. I hope that you, your family, and all of your guests have a wonderful holiday. Regards, Kareni 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarynB Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Donna, your post brought tears to my eyes too. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. I think you're wonderful for doing this and your son sounds like an amazing, awesome person as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 (edited) I was reading the stories of people being sad or not feeling like celebrating during the holidays so thought I would share my story... Backstory: My husband's parents have both passed away and most of his family live 8 hours away (we visit them for Thanksgiving). My family lives far away and aren't speaking to me anyway, something I spent over a year being depressed about but cannot take any more ignored invitations so have stopped trying (it's been 3+ years). This time of year always makes me sad. No large family gatherings and my kids are older, the fun of little ones is over, gifts are small and practical, and they mostly know what they are getting. I decorate, bake, and put on a smile for my kids, especially dd who loves the holiday. A little over a month ago, we were visiting a single friend, divorced with adult kids who have all moved far away, and she was telling me how sad she feels being alone during the holidays. Even though I have my immediate family, I miss the fun of an extended family celebration so I invited her to stay a long weekend and celebrate Christmas with us. She agreed and we made plans to add some of her "family" traditions in with ours and celebrate. Then a couple weeks ago, a neighbor a few houses down asked middle ds to help with her husband in the beginning stages of Alzheimers. (Ds has shoveled snow and cleaned gardens for her in the past.) The husband was tired of being stuck at home all day with only his wife and was upset he no longer had his driver's license. Ds takes him "out" once a week now. They go to Home Depot, do any shopping he'd like to do, sit and talk over coffee at Starbucks, etc… Both he and ds enjoy the outings. Originally neighbor offered to pay ds hourly for this but he refused so she gives him enough to cover their coffee. This couple never had children and I thought they might be alone for Christmas, so I encouraged ds to invite them for Christmas dinner. He called the wife the other night and while he was sitting next to me talking to her on the phone, his eyes filled with tears. He got off the phone and said she told him they had just made plans to eat Christmas dinner at a restaurant but she was "so honored" to be asked to a Christmas dinner because they "had never been asked to a Christmas dinner before" (the reason for ds and then my tears when he told me) and were always lonely during the holidays. She called me later to offer to bring something for dessert and was so excited she just kept talking and talking and the joy in her voice was evident. It is not like me to offer invitations to other people especially people I barely know like these neighbors or this friend who is a relatively new friend…I don't deal well with even the possibility of rejection. I am not sure what made me feel a strong need to step outside my comfort zone in these situations but I am glad I did. Hopefully we will have a wonderful celebration and make some closer/new friends at the same time. Hoping maybe my story might encourage anyone who knows someone who might be lonely this time of year to visit or give them an invitation if you have the ability. This is awesome! I have tears in my eyes too. It reminds me of a movie I just watched, "It happened on 5th Avenue" where they just kept collecting people to join them. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! We are often alone too. I should find someone else like this. Edited December 19, 2015 by TranquilMind 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I hope your Christmas is just lovely! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Donna, this is so lovely. Thank-you for posting this! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted December 27, 2015 Author Share Posted December 27, 2015 UPDATE: We had a wonderful Christmas day! My friend arrived around 2pm. We relaxed, talked, cooked, and took a walk. It was strangely warm here, humid enough to turn on the air-conditioning, and while walking thunder & lightning started suddenly while we were a mile from home then it poured. Luckily my husband came in the car and rescued us. We dried off and laughed the rest of the afternoon about our misadventure. Our neighbors arrived just in time for supper (it was still pouring). Dinner went well. I cooked way too much food and will be eating it until the new year. Everyone ate and talked for hours afterward. Nice conversation and good company! It seemed like everyone enjoyed the evening. My friend is staying for the weekend so she, dd, and I drove to the beach today and walked along looking for stones and sea glass. Tomorrow we will go into the city for some music. I am so happy with how our holiday turned out! Thank you everyone for the kind words and for listening! 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 What a lovely update! Thank you for sharing. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Thanks for the update! Have a very blessed rest of the weekend!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Thank you for the happy update, Donna! :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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