Is a 40 hr workweek old fashioned?

[momee]

My dh is working 715 to 545 every day. M - F and now with a new system at work, he's going in on Sat. from 9 - 12. That makes 10.5 hr days x 5 plus 3 hrs on weekends. That's a 55 hour work week.

 

At that time in, he's making about $6 less per hour than if he only worked 40 hours.

 

WHAT IS UP with boss's expectations?

 

Dh doesn't take a lunch, he hardly makes personal phone calls, and RARELY takes doc appts and such and he's NEVER taken a sick day.

 

I almost want to hear he's not alone in working so many hours, but I really don't because it's sooo sad for families.

GRRRR.

 

Anyway, dh says most people are working like this now and that I need to be more realistic about the way it is when I question why he's working so much.

(I am very happy he's not at the other end of the spectrum not working at all:D but I just hate that he has to work so hard)

[riada]

My dh is an engineer. He is on call 24/7 every day of the year except during his vacation. He has exactly 90 minutes to be on the train from the time they call. The commute is 45 minutes to the train depot. Once on the train he works 12 hours, sleeps 8, works 12. Nice schedule huh!

 

My point is that I have to say I don't think 40 hour weeks are the normal anymore. I think the employers want more hours for less pay. And in the defense of some employers I have heard them say the work ethics of most employees are lacking. Therefore it takes more hours for an employee to accomplish what could be done in less hours if they were more productive.

 

I feel sorry for employers of slacking employees and I have a deeper sympathy for the hard workers and their families. They miss out on so much.

[abbeyej]

It was normal for dh and all the people he worked with. A 60 hour week was pretty normal.

 

Now he works at home much of the time, but the actual hours are easily 60+ (and sometimes a lot of "+") per week. Still, we do get to *see* him, which is a huge relief.

[Cheryl in NM]

Dh works a compressed shift. That means that on week 1 he works Sun.-Tues. from noon to midnight and on week 2 he works Sun.-Wed. from noon to midnight. That's 36 hours for week 1 and 48 hours for week 2. I really hate being alone most evenings of the week but on the other hand, if I were working and ds were in ps we'd only see Dh on his days off. I do feel like a single mother sometimes though!

 

It does seem like the workday and work week are getting longer though. I think if we as a nation could simplify how we lived this would slow back down. Before the industrialization of America men were home, but they were in the fields or barns sunup to sundown. Of course, at least they were home and you could go visit with them while they worked. My grandparents still live this life. It seems so idealic, but that's what I want for my life!

[LNC]

My husband works out of our home. He travels throughout the state on day trips most mornings, but works on paperwork & emails in his home office during the afternoons and some evenings. His office is attached to our bonus room/playroom. Many times he's up working on paperwork/email while our children are quietly playing with legos and playmobil right next to him. I'm cooking dinner downstairs or cleaning up. He could stay home with a napping baby-preschooler while I went to a dr appt. Now, I can run to the dr. while they can finish up their school and he works upstairs.

 

Many of my friends say that he "helps" me all of the time and their husbands have to work more, but it's just the blessing of telecommuting! Another benefit is that he feels he is more productive than his co workers who have to deal with all of the chatting and complaining that goes on in the offices.

I have had to train our children to be very quiet in our home, but the blessings far outweigh any challenges.

[Mx5]

My dh is working 715 to 545 every day. M - F and now with a new system at work, he's going in on Sat. from 9 - 12. That makes 10.5 hr days x 5 plus 3 hrs on weekends. That's a 55 hour work week.

 

At that time in, he's making about $6 less per hour than if he only worked 40 hours.

 

WHAT IS UP with boss's expectations?

 

Dh doesn't take a lunch, he hardly makes personal phone calls, and RARELY takes doc appts and such and he's NEVER taken a sick day.

 

I almost want to hear he's not alone in working so many hours, but I really don't because it's sooo sad for families.

GRRRR.

 

Anyway, dh says most people are working like this now and that I need to be more realistic about the way it is when I question why he's working so much.

(I am very happy he's not at the other end of the spectrum not working at all:D but I just hate that he has to work so hard)

 

I don't think I know anyone who "only" works 40hrs/week anymore.

 

My dh works 55-60hrs/ week and has to really be careful to not exceed that. He's a pastor, so there's always the on-call-24/7 expectation.

[lllll]

No, your dh is not alone. And I don't think this is anything new, because back in 1985 when my dh started work (after grad school) he was immediately informed by his boss that the company policy was "10% overtime, minimum". Because he's never been paid by the hour, this is basically unpaid overtime. And it's been the same everywhere we've lived.

 

Just a couple of days ago, he left for work at 4am and got home at 8pm. That was a 'longer' day, but not uncommon. (We're a 45 min. drive from his work.) And with the advent of the cell phone he even gets to bring that thing home for a week at a time every 1-2 months. Then, we are awakened at all hours of the night! And he sometimes goes in on Saturdays, too.

 

Like you, though, I'm just thankful he has a job. Things could always be worse.

[riada]

It does seem like the workday and work week are getting longer though. I think if we as a nation could simplify how we lived this would slow back down. Before the industrialization of America men were home, but they were in the fields or barns sunup to sundown. Of course, at least they were home and you could go visit with them while they worked. My grandparents still live this life. It seems so idealic, but that's what I want for my life!

 

:iagree: I don't know of anyone that works a simple 40 hour week. Even our banker friends put in much more than that. I agree that if we can simplify things then the hours worked (outside the home) could slow down. Wouldn't that be nice!

[Murphy101]

my dh has had to basicly work like that and maybe more hours, sans o/t b/c he is salary, for the last decade.

 

sometimes, like now, he even has to work a 2nd p/t job around that to bring home much needed money.

 

I'm glad he has a job, but sometimes one does wonder why they are working?

 

working just to work some more it seems, rather than working to actually make a life, a living, kwim?

 

it can get very depressing and discouraging sometimes.:grouphug:

[hornblower]

Dh used to work 40-60 when he was a CEO but no more!

M-F 8-4:30, takes a 30 min lunch & a couple coffee breaks & leaves the office for a 15 min walk during those breaks at least once a day.

And he makes way more money than back in those crazy days. Am I ever glad he got this job.

 

Still doesn't beat my old work when I had a 37.5 h/work week & every bit over was paid at 1.5...But he gets more paid holiday time than I did. I only had 2 weeks & had to wait 7 years to get 3. He started with 3 full weeks (on top of all the stats + 1 'family day') & every 5 years it goes up by a week to a max of 5 weeks.

[G5052]

I worked full-time for 15 years before having children in scientific research and program management, and I always worked more than 40 hours a week. It was a very competive field with certain projects going on 24/7, it was expected that you would put in the hours to get it done or lose your edge.

 

DH is a upper-level specialist in the federal government, and he has always worked more although he now limits his in-office time to 40 hours a week. However, most of his work-related background research and reading is done at home. I've even helped him with it at times when he's had a deadline.

 

I am a part-time online college professor now, and most of the professors I work with put in way over 40 hours a week during the school year. There's always a lot of background reading, writing, and most take classes themselves on the side.

 

The way I look at it, if we were farming, we'd be putting in long hours too although we'd around home more. We have a friend who is a dairy farmer, and the hours they put in as a family year-round is incredible. They love it though!

[Country Girl]

We are easily looking at 55 hrs a week (there have been some weeks he has left the house at 5am and gotten home at 8pm everyday, although this is rare) plus he usually puts in at least an hour every night at home and a few on the weekends. So, yes, I'd say the 40 hour work week is gone (at least here).

 

On a side note... when we were living in Europe the 40 hour work week was much more common. A busy time was when he was putting in a 45 hour week. I miss those days:001_unsure:

[Jenny in Atl]

I think the 40hr work week was only a reality for a very short time. Before the 50's and 60's, very few worked hours as few hours as this. Anyone who was in farming, or in a labor field never worked only 40 hours. I really feel it was a product of the labor movement/factory work. We have since moved to a service economy, so very few work just 40 hrs.

[Wendy In KS]

Dh gets on the bus at 7am and gets to work right before 8am. He leaves at about 4:20pm to catch his bus home. He gets an hour lunch which he almost never takes (he usually eats his lunch at his desk). He can go in late or leave early if he needs to for any reason. Our only issues are him catching a bus at the right time.

 

He is salaried, and works for a rather large company in our area, and we feel very blessed that he has his job and that it is so flexible.

[Danestress]

And the only 40 hour a week jobs I have ever had were low paying, no benefits type jobs.

 

I know good 40 hours a week jobs exist - my sister makes great money as a nurse practioner working 40 hours a week with SIX paid weeks of vacation a year. So I think one can hold out hope of finding such a job. But I think that most people who are making the kind of money one needs to support a family with several children and a SAHM are working a lot more than that.

 

My DH likes his work and is one to always want to do a really good job, so he works longish hours. He typically works from about 11 hours a day. Some weekends he will work a few hours, others not. Luckily his office is 5 minutes from home, so not having a commute really helps.

[3lilreds in NC]

When dh signed on with his current company 10 years ago, he was told they didn't want people who only wanted to work 40 hours per week. Dh is lucky in that he's been there long enough that his time is quite flexible, and he can come home to take the girls to their activities and stuff, but when he comes home early he spends time working in the evenings when the kids have gone to bed. He worked LONG weeks when he first started. It doesn't help that he has workaholic tendencies, either. But, I do think a 40 hour work week is pretty much a thing of the past unless you're paid hourly, clock in and out, and your company doesn't want to pay overtime.

[jmgconner]

At my husband's old job, he was salaried and they demanded mandatory overtime. He has since moved to another company and they work the standard 40 hour week. I'm grateful that he has a job, but I wouldn't mind seeing the return of 35-40 hour weeks.

[annabanana1992]

Salaried employees always work 40++ with no overtime pay - just the way it is...

[cathmom]

Hornblower, what does your dh do?

 

My dh worked 40 hours until last week. Now he will be doing extra work for the same company on the weekend and will be paid overtime. So technically it will be a 48 hour job plus an hour commute each day. I feel sorry for him that he has to work every day of the week now, but we just can't do anything else. If he got a different PT job, he would be paid much less and have to work many more hours for the same $$.

[Murphy101]

I don't think it's a lack of desire to work o/t.

My dh doesn't mind working long hours sometimes to get a project done or whatever.

But when your life becomes work rather than working for a living, one has to wonder why the heck they are doing it.

Yes, some ot is expected with salary jobs, that why the company pays salary rather than hoursly - to save them money.

But there's been times when my dh figured up how many hours he actually worked and divided his salary and found he made only $7 - $8 an hour! Most burger joints have a higher starting pay than that. And he's been with his company, a major one, for 13 years. And it's not like everyone there works like he does either. It seems the slackers continue to slack and everyone just expects others like my dh to take up the slack? Esp when they find out he's married?! What's up with that? They say things like, "Well I can't stay - I have to go get my kid from daycare/school!" and out they go. They almost NEVER work past 5 or come in before 8. Well hello, just because my dh is married doesn't mean he never wants to see his kids!:glare:

[riada]

My dh is working 8 to 4:30, he gets 30 minutes for lunch, he usually takes it - or if not might take an hour lunch the next day. The boss is really good about letting him off for appointments and stuff. My dh makes up the time later, because he feels it's right. He has even gotten time off so he could be there on my ds first day of preschool, kids dentist appointments, family doctor appointments.

 

His office is really nice with a fully equipped kitchen with free drinks, bagels, candy bars, fruit platters most days. They have a 'beer bash' usually every Friday with beer, pizza, wings. They have a mini arcade room with several games, a ping pong table, and a Xbox with Guitar hero and rock band. For about a 8 month period someone would come in and give the employees a massage once a month. (The massage guy is in Australia right now on a working holiday)

 

When the company was doing better then it is now we had a family day at he waterpark, a evening boat cruise for couples with dinner and dancing, and for about a 8 month period they ordered in a nice lunch from a restaurant every wednesday.

 

He has a 15 minute bike ride to and from work, so it's an easy commute (As long as there is no snow. :p) or pouring rain.

 

Sometimes they do ask him to work over time on a call. I'll say it about even outs to a 40 hour work week right now, 42 1/2 if you include his lunch time. But in the past it has been worse, maybe a 55 hour work week.

 

We have really good coverage. They fully covered by ds $2500 dentist bill. We have access to free conselling, money management classes, debt management.... I forogt most of the stuff, we got a hand full of pamphlets when he started.

 

Sounds like a dream!!!!:001_smile:

[hornblower]

Hornblower, what does your dh do?

 

 

umm, well, not to go all smoke & mirrors but I'm not allowed to talk about it except vaguely. He's in the financial regulatory industry. Ahem. I promise he had nothing to do with the events unfolding the past year or so. Wrong country anyway :D

 

Salaried, health & dental benefits, retirement plan & stock options and SANE people to work with = Bliss.

 

I know we're 'lucky' but luck favours the prepared too, kwim? Dh worked very hard to be where he is now.

 

It must be very hard for people to balance life with these insane schedules some of you are posting. Whatever happened to the "8h work, 8h play, 8h sleep" life? (courtesy of our Australian friends, I believe?)

[cathmom]

Thanks for satisfying my curiousity (however vaguely!) :D

 

I know what you mean about SANE people to work with. After years of working in a hospital that mistreated its employees every time they turned around (when salaries are less than 5 % of your budget, wouldn't layoffs be your first choice of how to deal with financial problems????), dh finally has a job in a place where they all appreciate his hard work and his skills and he is so much happier!

[Jen500]

My dh works for the gov't and belongs to his union-no working >40 hrs/week unless he's paid overtime. No money available for overtime pay, so no working overtime for him. He does have a second job though, so between the two jobs he works >40 hrs.

[Tracey in TX]

DH's "slack off" weeks are in the 55-65 hour/week range. Most weeks he averages 70 hours or more. During stressful or crunch periods he can near 100 hrs/week. It is insane and I feel for him. He's a workaholic by nature, but having a boss with Sun-Thur work week, 8 hr time zone ahead of us makes it impossible to work minimal hours.

[tadbhoward]

My dh generally only works 40 hours but he is union and hourly so he makes big money for any overtime he works. That being said his commute adds a couple hours a day b/c they have to go pick up material on one side of town every day and then drive to the job on the other side of town. He leaves the house at 5am and is home by 5pm on all evenings except for Tuesdays when he has school and gets home at 9:30pm.

[Mrs Mungo]

When he's home, 10-12 hour days are the norm. No overtime, he's salary. He's worked *much* longer hours at some of his positions in the past. He is constantly "on call" but that means something different for him than most people, lol.

[Reya]

My DH is on salary, but as a contractor, he gets paid by hours worked. So if he puts in 3 extra hours, he gets paid three extra hours. (No overtime pay, of course.)

 

The only downside is that he gets no distinct sick leave/vacation--they are lumped together, and he only gets 10 days for the entire year. He also has only 5 holidays.

 

Good pay, terrible benefits. :-)

[Tabrett]

My dh is an engineer. He is on call 24/7 every day of the year except during his vacation. He has exactly 90 minutes to be on the train from the time they call. The commute is 45 minutes to the train depot. Once on the train he works 12 hours, sleeps 8, works 12. Nice schedule huh!

 

My point is that I have to say I don't think 40 hour weeks are the normal anymore. I think the employers want more hours for less pay. And in the defense of some employers I have heard them say the work ethics of most employees are lacking. Therefore it takes more hours for an employee to accomplish what could be done in less hours if they were more productive.

 

I feel sorry for employers of slacking employees and I have a deeper sympathy for the hard workers and their families. They miss out on so much.

This seem backward to me since studies have shown that people who work 30 hours a week and get paid for 40 get 40 hours of work done in less time. People are motivated to work harder if they can work less with the same pay. I think companies are just trying to get more work out of people for less pay.

[Aubrey]

*sets up soapbox*

 

Ahem. Hard work is a good thing. Being willing to work as hard as necessary is a good character trait. In hard times, when this trait is maxed out, it is indispensable. Valuable.

 

But. It seems like...well...we've achieved a level of civilization where we *don't* have to fight for our lives. At least, here in Am. Most of us.

 

And I don't think we really...fully appreciate that. Somehow, we...almost...have become reverent toward hard work, long hours. He who works hardest/longest/etc is the holiest or something like that.

 

I think we *underestimate* the amt of time our dc need. From *both* of us. And, easy as that is to do when the opportunity is there, it's even easier when the culture seems to demand it. Sure, you can work only 40 hrs IF you're lucky enough & have enough $, etc. But if you're barely making ends meet? You'd better suck it up & work harder.

 

And while working harder is *good*...sometimes...I have the sense that those who *don't* make enough to make ends meet don't get the choice to put their families first. Like it's not ok to put your foot down & say, "It's OK for a woman to stay home w/ her dc." Or, "It's OK for a man to work ONLY 40 hrs (plus lunch, when he can't come home anyway, plus commute time, plus, plus, plus."

 

I mean, 8 hrs to work, 8 to sleep, & 8 at home doesn't even mean 8 to play. It's 8 hrs in which to eat, shower, dress, pay bills, take care of small home repairs, run errands, etc.

 

I think staying over-busy contributes to the high divorce rate & to the disappointing outcomes of our children. (Not realizing whatever hopes you have for them.)

 

I think women are guilty of it because we *can* multi-task. I think men are guilty of it because they can't as much. And it's hard to transition from the office to home, & when you work too many hrs to allow for that transition, it becomes easier to just work longer or hide when you're at home. In front of the TV, behind a desk, whatever.

 

I hope I'm not offensive in the way I'm presenting this, but I think it's important, because until we stand up *together* to defend a person's right to time w/ their families, we will individually be picked off. YOU aren't willing to work 60+ hrs? That's ok, I've got a line of people who ARE willing.

 

And that's part of what's wrong w/ our economy, imo. Ever since 9/11, you could read reports: Am productivity was going up, up, up while Am's themselves became poorer & poorer--thr layoffs, lack of raises, underemployment, etc. We as a society are working longer & harder for the same & less $, & the fear & the exhaustion is making us fight ea other instead of fighting these ridiculously long schedules.

 

Ftr, those who work long hrs, imo, are the victims. They're being taken advantage of because of their good work ethic, & their families suffer for that. Just in case I made it sound like they're the bad guys--I don't think that at all. I just think we need to band together to fight this instead of just accept it because the culture makes us feel guilty not to.

 

*folds up soapbox*

 

:grouphug: :001_huh:

[Parrothead]

My dh has something they call AUO - administratively uncontrollable overtime. Two hours every day. So he has always worked 50-60 hours a week.

[Mommy22alyns]

*stands up and applauds* Way to go, Aubrey! I repped you too.

 

I really don't have anything to add.

[hornblower]

Aubrey, I think you're very right.

I agree when times are tough, people need to do what they need to do. But a lot of the stuff that comes down the pipeline happens because nobody stands up to say 'are you insane? I'm not going to work that much! I have a LIFE and my life is not my job.' And there is a weird competitiveness about it in certain industries: you only work 60h? whoa, wish I could do that! I'm pulling 70 most weeks & sometimes 80, man!

 

When dh was CEO of a company, I routinely worked out his hourly salary. Just to tick him off, really <eg>. Then I'd remind him of all the truly CRAZY people he had to deal with. And I nudged and shoved and finally kicked him to go out of his comfort zone & finally move to another job. I think sometimes people get so immersed in the workaholic culture of their industry that they lose perspective on what a normal life looks like.

[abreakfromlife]

Excellent post Aubrey! My dh is a civil engineer and he works for a small company - 15 employees total, and they only let them work 40 hours a week, no overtime. They have really good benefits, excellent 401K, etc. We love it. So the comment about only low salaried, low skilled jobs isn't always true.

 

It does make it a little hard to live on one income with no overtime allowed, but once we can get rid of some debt it'll be easier. And God has blessed us with an online stay at home job for me, so that helps. Dh has a 30 min commute, but we don't even want to think about working anywhere else b/c all of the other civil engineering firms do require at least 60 hours a week.

[Andie]

I don't think it's a lack of desire to work o/t.

My dh doesn't mind working long hours sometimes to get a project done or whatever.

But when your life becomes work rather than working for a living, one has to wonder why the heck they are doing it.

Yes, some ot is expected with salary jobs, that why the company pays salary rather than hoursly - to save them money.

But there's been times when my dh figured up how many hours he actually worked and divided his salary and found he made only $7 - $8 an hour! Most burger joints have a higher starting pay than that. And he's been with his company, a major one, for 13 years. And it's not like everyone there works like he does either. It seems the slackers continue to slack and everyone just expects others like my dh to take up the slack? Esp when they find out he's married?! What's up with that? They say things like, "Well I can't stay - I have to go get my kid from daycare/school!" and out they go. They almost NEVER work past 5 or come in before 8. Well hello, just because my dh is married doesn't mean he never wants to see his kids!:glare:

 

 

There was a bad period of time at dh's former job when this was a problem. Since I was home, it was just assumed he had no demands on his time outside of work, and people with kids in the on-site daycare were taking advantage. :angry: He straightened folks out, thank goodness.

[Murphy101]

Ftr, those who work long hrs, imo, are the victims. They're being taken advantage of because of their good work ethic, & their families suffer for that. Just in case I made it sound like they're the bad guys--I don't think that at all. I just think we need to band together to fight this instead of just accept it because the culture makes us feel guilty not to.

 

*folds up soapbox*

 

Well I agree and would have rep'd you, but apparently I've already done it recently.

 

Reading through some of these replies, it does appear the main problem is a lack of unions or maybe of more effective unions? I'm not a huge fan of unions, but I do see a need for them sometimes.

 

And yes, for those who do work hard, like my dh, they feel bent over a barrel. These are not people who are willing to risk quiting and seeing their family suffer and the company knows it. People say my dh could quit and get other employment. Maybe. But sure not a given. Actually a very big risk. Finding a decent paying job, hopefully with decent benefits, that allows him to have more of a life outside work are not a easily come by. For anyone.

[JoyfulMama]

First: applause for the soap box post by Aubrey :iagree:

 

Second: It is so wondeful to know that we are not alone in very long work days for DH. We moved and DH started a new job 9 months ago, with the promise of a different schedule... well... guess they weren't too truthful! So now he's frustrated even more (70 hr week was tough, but 80-90 is even worse!).

 

Third: Unions... My DH is a supervisor, and his men are union workers. They get paid OT, but DH does not, as he's salaried. When a union worker doesn't show up, my DH has to do do that job in addition to his own. (Inability to attract/retain additional workers.) COE/owner and the office men are taking advantage of that. So guess what - DH's not sticking around to continue to put up with it!

 

He may get fired before he can quit... all because DH would like to do more than pass out when he comes home!

[Jami]

Well we've been very fortunate in dh's jobs thus far. He's a graphic designer and has only worked with small companies who truly have valued their employees. A few times he's had some very long weeks because of project deadlines, but those were rare. And he didn't mind it because being in a small company helps one feel that they're an integral part of its success.

 

Right now he has a situation much like Julie's dh. Minus the massages. Though his first job offered those. ;) He works roughly 8:30-5, with lunch break (and the office buys lunch about 3x's a week). It's a gaming company, so they have gaming systems for "research". But he brings his work home often, in part because he loves what he does so much and because he wants to help the company succeed.

 

Benefits haven't always been ideal, in part because of the size of the company, but his employers have been committed to doing what they could, when it was possible.

 

Jami

[Danestress]

But, in addition to looking at work hours, I think we have to look at how free time is used. DH works a good number of hours. But he spends most of his free time with his boys and I. We bought a house that is smaller than the one we could buy way out in the burbs, because he wanted to live near work. He figures that if you live half an hour from the office, that's 5 hours a week commuting, and you never eat lunch with your homeschool children. He watches almost no tv. His only hobbies are working out (which mostly includes the boys) and painting (which is around the house, after they are asleep), and which they love to watch when they can.

 

He would say that men who aren't spending their free time with their families are missing out themselves on a lot of joy, and are robbing their children of their birth right. Even with his long hours, he manages to have a lot of fun and a lot of time with his children.

 

I think that some father would use more hours off work to spend more time with their children. But many Dads would use that time to zone in front of the television or play more golf.

 

I'm not sure what you meant about the multitasking thing. Neither DH nor I is a good multitasker. But I almost think that's a gift to the kids. If you can't play with them AND answer the phone, put in laundry, and mow the lawn, then you just play with them. When you are with them, then you are really WITH them, kwim?

 

I know it would be nice to have time to work, commute, have hobbies, watch tv AND spend time with your kids. But most lives don't provide for that. So we brutally eliminate the unnecessary. And the boob tube is the first thing to go.

[Aubrey]

But, in addition to looking at work hours, I think we have to look at how free time is used. DH works a good number of hours. But he spends most of his free time with his boys and I. We bought a house that is smaller than the one we could buy way out in the burbs, because he wanted to live near work. He figures that if you live half an hour from the office, that's 5 hours a week commuting, and you never eat lunch with your homeschool children. He watches almost no tv. His only hobbies are working out (which mostly includes the boys) and painting (which is around the house, after they are asleep), and which they love to watch when they can.

 

He would say that men who aren't spending their free time with their families are missing out themselves on a lot of joy, and are robbing their children of their birth right. Even with his long hours, he manages to have a lot of fun and a lot of time with his children.

 

I think that some father would use more hours off work to spend more time with their children. But many Dads would use that time to zone in front of the television or play more golf.

 

I'm not sure what you meant about the multitasking thing. Neither DH nor I is a good multitasker. But I almost think that's a gift to the kids. If you can't play with them AND answer the phone, put in laundry, and mow the lawn, then you just play with them. When you are with them, then you are really WITH them, kwim?

 

I know it would be nice to have time to work, commute, have hobbies, watch tv AND spend time with your kids. But most lives don't provide for that. So we brutally eliminate the unnecessary. And the boob tube is the first thing to go.

 

By multi-tasking, I mean trying to hs, work PT, take some college classes, have a baby on a hip, & volunteer. And then wonder why we're tired. Men usually just work, kwim? And then when they're home, they're home.

 

I agree about time w/ your family, but when I was teaching, I was working 80 hrs/wk. When I came home, I had papers to grade & lessons to plan. On the rare occasion that I even *saw* my dc, I couldn't hardly talk to them. I couldn't switch gears well enough, & if I did, I couldn't really switch back. So *if* I had free time or needed a break, I was more likely to watch TV than I am now.

 

I know this isn't everyone's situation, but it was hard to see it. Once I was out, I could see it much better. But then...sometimes I start to take *this* life for granted, & $ gets tight, & I think maybe I should just work a little, start slowly on a Phd, take in a little ironing, & it snowballs.

 

Like I said, that's a GOOD thing when you need it. If something were to happen to dh, I'd need to live like that. But I don't want to live like something's happened to him when he's right here, you know? I want to live my life w/ as few regrets as poss, & ime, working too many hrs is the LEADING cause of regret.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

As military officers, dh and I routinely arrived at work at 6:30 am and left after 6:00 pm. When we were serving on ships underway, we had two 4-6 hour watches each day plus our normal work as division supervisors. I was pretty happy if I got six hours of sleep a night underway (and it was often split into a couple hours before and after a night time watch).

[Lolly]

Another question: Was the 40 hour work week ever really the norm?

 

Dh is on call 24 hours 7 days a week. When on vacation, he takes calls and tries to solve them from wherever we are. He works 11 hours most days. He usually works 6-8 hours on Sat. and 5 hours on Sunday.