idnib Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I'll go one better--dd got a cardboard BOX one year! A used cardboard box!!! And I got a dirty, chipped coffee mug. That was the year that she called me up and yelled at me that I hadn't gotten her anything for Christmas. I pointed out that I'd given her 3 nice boxes of stationery and some pens, along with $50 worth of postage... Nope, those were from dh, NOT from me and she wasn't going to send me a thank you note. Whatever. Unbelievable. A long time ago there was a thread for the"worst gift ever" on the mothering.com forums and one woman posted that her mother-in-law gave her an engraved plaque that said "Jesus loves you even though you're Jewish" and she wasn't even Jewish. They just assumed she was Jewish because she doesn't eat ham! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 Unbelievable. A long time ago there was a thread for the"worst gift ever" on the mothering.com forums and one woman posted that her mother-in-law gave her an engraved plaque that said "Jesus loves you even though you're Jewish" and she wasn't even Jewish. They just assumed she was Jewish because she doesn't eat ham! wow.... that's really bad 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 She does not speak English. And my German isn't good enough. Just learn a few insulting Klingon phrases. Everything sounds like an insult in Klingon, so she's sure to get the message. :D 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Unbelievable. A long time ago there was a thread for the"worst gift ever" on the mothering.com forums and one woman posted that her mother-in-law gave her an engraved plaque that said "Jesus loves you even though you're Jewish" and she wasn't even Jewish. They just assumed she was Jewish because she doesn't eat ham! :svengo: Ya know, I think we have a winner here. I'll cherish my potato peeler. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 She does not speak English. And my German isn't good enough. This might help... http://smile.amazon.com/Dirty-German-Everyday-Slang-Whats/dp/1569756732/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1440798174&sr=8-1&keywords=dirty+german (I checked out the Spanish one and it was quite accurate.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 No. I'm in a constant tense state when I'm near her. My body language is probably already messed up. LOL I might be misinterpreting but I was envisioning some colorful body language. 😶 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 You know, for the price of all four* of you going, your DH can go this year and take one kid, then next year and take the other. The kid at home gets a one-on-one domestic vacation with you. EVERYBODY wins. *I've decided you have two kids. This may or may not be true. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I received a clothes hanger that doubles as a passport holder My in-laws sent us a photo of their house (Framed) as a wedding present. :confused1: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Nm. Forgot it was jawm. I hope you find a good solution. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Thinking about this more, I don't even know when we will actually be able to do this. Summer is just too expensive. So I'm not seeing anything free in sight at any other time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Thinking about this more, I don't even know when we will actually be able to do this. Summer is just too expensive. So I'm not seeing anything free in sight at any other time.Can you go the 12th of never? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Can you go the 12th of never? sounds like a really good time to go 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I will go, but I don't agree with this reasoning at all. I really do not think I should subject myself to this crap for any reason. I have no doubt my kids will leave there not being all that thrilled they went. It's just, as I said, I cannot win here. No matter what I decide, I will be miserable with the decision. Either I end up hurt, or I hurt my husband (and I'll still be hurt). So I'll, once again, hurt (just) myself. Which yes as I type this makes me realize how stupid this whole thing is, but I can't seem to come up with anything better to do. I'm sorry you're facing this. <gently> You know what the better thing to do is. Right now you're not willing to do it. That's not meant to be a slam or anything. I know it's hard. Having been in a similar situation I told dh that he could deal with his family (in this case his brother) in whatever manner he wished; however, he was not free to subject the kids or me to the crazy. He was a grown man and my first responsibility was to our kids, not his family and not his feelings. The prospect of debt to visit toxic relatives would be the nail in the coffin for me. I wish you peace with whatever decision you come to. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Count me in the "don't go" camp, too. I've been where you are, almost exactly. The only difference was that she just lived in another state, not another country. She did not speak enough English to communicate directly to me beyond the basics. Unfortunately, I do understand Spanish, and so I heard every awful word that horrible excuse for a human being ever said about me, often directly to me. I heard every awful word she said to/about my then husband. That man has more faults than I can count, but I swear it started with that woman belittling him and degrading him his entire life. She continues to do it today, only now he lives with her. He has learned the magical art of drowning her out, I suppose. I stopped going to her house years before my divorce, and I would not let me children go, either. There was no way I was going to subject myself to that any longer, and I certainly wasn't going to subject my children to it. The last time I saw her I left her house and told her I wouldn't be back. She followed me to the car and said she was sorry, but then she continued the lies and deceit and hurtful behavior. It never stopped. Gifts? She sometimes sent one to me or the kids. Never anything we could possibly want or use. She got into the habit of sending me XL pajamas, and this is when I was a size 6. Passive aggressive much? That was better than when she told all of the family that I stole the checks she sent to DH and kids, cashed them, and kept the money all for myself. Ummm....there were no checks. Ever. My kids are old enough to deal with her now, so DD12 just spent a few weeks at her house with her dad. It took about 3 days before her grandmother wore her down, telling her how everything she did was wrong. She slept too long, she made the bed wrong, she read too much, she played games too much, she cut the potatoes wrong....every single thing. Luckily, I warned her, and she's strong enough to stand up for herself. She told her grandmonster that she is how she is, it's how we do things in our family, and she isn't going to change after a couple of weeks with her. Good for my kid! Anyway, I vomited all of that to implore you not to go. Seriously. You will regret it if you do. (But we'll all be here when you get back to console you if you do decide to go!) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 nm 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I would Just Say No. Tell your dh he can go or not as he chooses, but you're not subjecting yourself or your children to such abuse. Bu if you do go, can you plan lots of really long day trips to explore the city she lives in? For every day? Without her? It would let your kids get to know their heritage from their father's side while giving you a great excuse not to spend time with your MIL. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Oh I do know she wants us to come. She sent us $1500. It doesn't really put a dent in the cost, but it's something. She'd put out a good spread for sure. I just ugh..I'm not in the right frame of mind to endure her flipping nonsense. Use that for your husband's trip and call it good. She knows that doesn't make a dent, maybe she just wants to see him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Team Don't Go! (Hugs) I have a typical mil. Stories of great mil/dil relationships make me so jealous and make me miss my late mum even more. More (hugs)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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