s/o girls and tangled hair

[Guest]

I have fine, thick, curly hair and my daughters have fine, thick straight hair. We all sleep in braids or buns, keep our hair combed, and wear it back in styles that keep it straight unless it is a special occasion. If I let them run around with their hair down, even at shorter lengths, it's asking for a mess. A nice ponytail, pony braid, plaits, or french/dutch braid takes almost no time and keeps their hair nice and neat.

 

Little girls with hair flying around is a pet peeve of mine - just because I remember how painful it was to detangle and it always ended up in my mouth, etc. Long hair styled nicely and confined is way easier than short hair or medium length floating free, especially if it is thick.

 

I always try to tell my friends I wear my hear insanely long because it is easier and they never believe me. But I spent a lot more time trying to make my curly hair look presentable at short lengths than I do now. Keeping it braided at night, silk pillowcases, and wearing it up during the day makes life much easier!

[Guest]

I had wondered if using thinning shears would help, since several people have mentioned thinning as an option I may try that.

It depends in the follicle. If her hair is fine, but she has a lot of it, thinning shears are a recipe for flyways. I find I also end up with more splits from them. But thicker hair with a more course and thick strand width? Thinning shears tend to do less damage.

 

Believe it or not blunt cuts usually give us less heartburn with tangles than layers, too. The different lengths of ends result in more tangles for us than when it all falls together. Who da thunk?

[abacus2]

Wet Brush .

 

It looks just like a normal brush, but includes some type of detangling magic.

[Mommy22alyns]

Sylvia has very thick and curly hair.  We have it cut with long layers in it to thin things out a little and keep the curls bouncy.

 

She tends to keep it in a ponytail most of the time, but she wakes up with wicked bedhead.  We brush with a Tangle Teezer - it hurts her much, much less than the Mason Pearson.  We brush immediately before showers and she does not "ruffle up" her hair while washing or drying.  Plenty of conditioner from the middle down.  Wide-toothed comb afterwards.

 

 

Rebecca has long straighter hair that is more fine than Sylvia's.  She always wears a braid for gymnastics because it keeps her hair tangle-free through all the flipping around.  She does a braid/bun for competitions.

 

Here they are (showing their new pics off a little too!):

 

 

[El...]

Do we need a real silk pillowcase, or is microfiber/polyester the same?  I'd like to do more about dd's hair.  She wakes up looking like Beyoncé on a big hair day.  :)  Beautiful, but BIG!

[gardenmom5]

my hair tangled badly - so my mother kept it short.  I resented it, because I wanted long hair I could braid, etc.

 

I used conditioner on my girls hair.  even today - I HAVE to use conditioner. I am generous with the amount. (start at the bottom, and work up.  scant if any on the scalp.)   I also let it soak in while I wash of my body - same with my girls when they were younger.  then I rinse it as well as I can while finger combing it under the running shower. (water pressure helps)

 

1dd had thick hair past her posterior - and using conditioner meant it could be combed out.

 

when it gets long enough - a French braid at night goes a long way to preventing tangles.  (and I can't stand it all over the place.)  for me - I found short hair was still a hassle - just a different kind (and it cost more because I had to cut it so often)

 

 

eta: for pillowcases - you need satin or real silk.  it's how it handles the hair rubbing against it.

eta: I have to use conditioner an 1" out from the scalp (no closer), as that is an area that wants to tangle.

[Word Nerd]

You can also find satin sleeping caps in the ethnic hair care aisle.

[Melissa in Australia]

I have hip length hair as does my dd.

 We  do not  brush, but comb- and braid at night. when she was little she had two plats every day and one at night- makes hair maintenance way easier.

[Junie]

My dd10 has rediculously tangly hair.  This is the oil that we use.  http://www.garnierusa.com/products/haircare/marvelous-oils/treatment/marvelous-oil-deep-nourish.aspx

 

She uses it before she takes a bath.  It works best if it stays in her hair for a while before washing it out.  Braiding at night, like everyone else.  We should have a Braiding at Bedtime Club. :)

 

edited for grammar

[shawthorne44]

My hair is a lot like your daughters.  

 

At bedtime, put the hair in a pineapple.  A ponytail on the top of the head.  That will help stop the nighttime tangles, and it won't do anything weird to her hair.  

 

Throw away the brush.  It is just damaging her hair and making life harder.  Get a wide toothed comb, and one of those combs with a handle that is pointy.  Tell your daughter that h-- or high water, her hair is going to be completely combed once a week.  Spend an evening with her watching TV or doing something that she can focus on that doesn't require a lot of movement.  Maybe something she normally doesn't get much of.  Like trash TV or a video game.  Have a cup of water nearby and put a towel around her shoulder.  Get sections and put gobs of conditioner in it.  Just that section.  Then comb.  Use the pointy handle when it is a real rats nest.  When the hair starts to get gunky, dip the comb in the water.  That will thin it out enough to un-gunk.  Keep going until you are done (probably an evening's activity especially at first).    When everything is combed, keep combing it all over dipping the comb into the water often.  That will even out the conditioner and keep it from gunking up the hair when it dries.  

Also, I know you said your daughter's hair wasn't curly but based on the description it needs a curly girl treatment.  So, I would get a conditioner that the curly girl woman recommends and also throw away the shampoo.  

[JumpyTheFrog]

Toss the brush. Brushes are for people with fine, straight hair. They are a complete no-no for those with curly, frizzy, or otherwise unruly hair.

 

1. Buy a beach comb like this: http://www.amazon.com/Large-Tooth-Detangle-Shampoo-Unbreakable/dp/B005NI80RY

Wide-tooth combs aren't good enough.

 

2. Before rinsing out conditioner, comb with the beach comb, starting at the bottom. Don't rinse until every tangle is gone.

 

3. Blot wet hair with a towel if desired, but never, ever rub the hair with the towel.

 

4. No blow drying either.

 

5. You may have better results if you give up shampoo or only use a little on the scalp.

 

6. When my hair starts to tangle up more, I know I'm overdue for a haircut.

[AMJ]

knot genie.

 

www.knotgenie.com

 

This works wonders for both my daughter and myself.

 

We have one something like this.  It doesn't hurt as much, but it also doesn't get all the way through DD10's really fine but densely populated hair, so arms tend to get tired before all of the tangles are out.

 

DD10 basically has a brush she prefers with thick, stiff bristles with rounded ends.  She brushes her hair ever night at bedtime, and again most mornings after I remind her she still has wild bed head.  Sometimes she will brush her hair in the middle of the day, too, especially after being out in some wind.

 

With DD10 the main trick is multiple brushings throughout the day.  She will also brush her hair just before washing it, to reduce the pain of combing through tangles when wet.  We have a VERY wide comb for her to use on her wet hair, and it is needed.  She works bottom to top in small "bites" (sections, just a lock or two of hair at a time).  She is like me in that she likes her hair unrestrained while sleeping -- braids and pony tails cause lumps that disturb sleep.

[prairiewindmomma]

My 6yo has long fine curly hair as well. We do conditioner + a wide comb on washing days.  On days when she doesn't need to shower, we use a brush like the knot genie and it's a 10! leave in conditioner.  I don't braid her hair and morning care only takes a couple of minutes if I do it daily.

[flyingiguana]

I have never been allowed to comb my 2nd daughter's hair.

 

When she was about 7, it was so bad the hair was felted.  It had to be cut short.

 

After that, she learned to keep it brushed on her own.  It was easier to learn the skill while the hair grew.

 

Does it really need to be in a bun for ballet?  My daughter was also in ballet during this period and no one had a problem with her cutting her hair.  I recall a lot of bobby pins and gels to keep it back and IF the girl had long hair it went in a bun.  But if it wasn't long -- no problem.

 

After all, they weren't insisting on the boys having buns.

 

She now cuts her own hair and likes to do layers so it's not so thick.  Here she is demonstrating (with a lot of extraneous commentary):

 

[hornblower]

from what i know of dreads on Caucasian hair it's definitely not a maintenance free solution & the people I know who have them fuss with them a lot.  It seems you'd swap one problem for another.

And then there was the mold... but maybe it's because we live in PNW where we all get moldy....

 

I'd definitely cut my kids' hair before dreading but ymmv.

[catz]

Dreadlocks are actually quite high maintenance.  I'd just go with a short pixie haircut in a child that couldn't/wouldn't maintain their hair.  I had that as a child for years and it was super easy.  We went with a very short bob with my dd for a couple years when she wasn't interested in brushing/maintenance.  Now her hair is long and she loves having it brushed and does a good job with it on her own too.  Cutting it doesn't mean it will be short forever.  With my dd, she needs to brush through her hair or have me do it at least 2X a day.   If she weren't doing that, I'd be looking at a change.  Having hair that doesn't look like a rats nest is basic hygiene to me.  There are lots of girls with shorter styles at our dance studio.  They just need it out of their face and back for ballet. 

[Holly]

Have you tried detangling while she's in the bath/shower? I only comb out my tangles with the help of lots of conditioner and a shower comb (you can also find shower/detangler brushes like this), and it works for my girls too. 

 

This is what I do too.  I have very thick, wavy hair and what normally can take 20-30 minutes to brush out (if it's really tangled) only takes a minute! 

[pehp]

My daughter has really long hair also.  (She's 4.)  My best tip is just to get it detangled and brushed-out, and then put it in pigtails, a ponytail, a french braid, or two braids every day and *braids every single night*.  this cuts down significantly on the tangles and keeps it much easier to brush.  HTH!

[KungFuPanda]

I use Afro picks. They come in packs of three and work great on my fine, curly hair. I'd never attempt brushing it dry though, that's just crazy. When I was a child my mother's solution was to keep me in two braids until I could care for my hair myself. That was about 4th grade :-/

 

I condition daily with TJs conditioner. I've never had build up.

[maize]

Checking back in to say that this thread has been very, very helpful.

 

I've given up on brushing dd's hair, this week I have just been finger combing and things are going much better.