Katy Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 So the other thread about health and prescriptions got me thinking about judgment... Have you ever noticed that if you judge someone for something (something that's morally nuanced, as opposed to unabashedly evil), you get tested with the same thing you just judged them for? BTW... I use karma in the what goes around comes around, you reap what you sew sense, rather than a strict religious sense about future lives. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Are you saying that someone's going to have a gallbladder attack? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Please note that I was not judgmental, so my gallbladder is safe. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I'm already falling apart so I'm safe from judgment but not ill health. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Jean,I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Just don't tell me that "I deserved it" as someone did long ago. Someone no longer in my life, btw. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 (((Hugs))) No, you do not deserve any of it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 You mean like when you talk to your husband about how unhealthy belly fat is and then a few years later you realize you have developed all this belly fat that won't. Go. AWAY?! Or something like that. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 No, I have not noticed that. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 No, I have not noticed that. Because really the world doesn't work like that. I mean sometimes people do have to eat crow or their words or whatever, but many times they can go on in their ignorant judgmental way. And on one level that's ok. I don't really wish that someone who is judgmental get what is coming to them even as I do wish they would learn to have some compassion and see that there is a bit more grey in the world than the black and white that most judgmental people seem to only see. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Jean, I liked your post because it sounded so familiar. Not because I like that you are falling apart. It just resonated. Misery loves company, right? :) Not that we are miserable. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Jean, I liked your post because it sounded so familiar. Not because I like that you are in Poor health. It just resonated. :) Those of us in poor health have to stick together.:) And shake off any blame that comes our way. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Those of us in poor health have to stick together.:) And shake off any blame that comes our way. Yup! So true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Haha, yes. More seriously, I think that it's more that we notice it when it's coming back to us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I see precious little karma in the world, but maybe that's a good thing in the end for me, idk. :-/ The world and life seems very unbalanced. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I have noticed that if I say "Friend, xyz always happens to you because you ___," then the very next day xyz will happen to me. So now I cringe at the very thought of making such observations. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I think you have to be self aware to realise it. Some are able to hold the idea that someone else caused their own health issues at the same time as being certain that their own were all due to unfortunate circumstances. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 No, I haven't, because the world doesn't really work that way. Humans are simply primed to see patterns, so when we think we see one (as in "I was a judgmental twit and boy do I feel dumb now!", or whatever) we go "dingdingding!" and make a connection. But there is none, just like there aren't any camels or weasels in the clouds, and leaving the bus stop doesn't really make the bus come any sooner. With that said, if a more or less belief in a just world helps you be a better person and live a better life and be less judgmental, then by all means, don't let me stop you! The trouble is, that sort of belief often has the opposite effect. Not so good. Edit: Forgot a word! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I think you have to be self aware to realise it. Some are able to hold the idea that someone else caused their own health issues at the same time as being certain that their own were all due to unfortunate circumstances. Most of us have lives that are a lot more complex. There are some things that I might have been able to control in my health 20 plus years ago when I first got sick. I wasn't perfect. Of course in my case they don't really know what caused my problems - even the doctors aren't able to tell me that I'm sick because I was an idiot and did xyz. I work hard to try and have good health habits now to help to promote healing and to at least not contribute to further health problems. But you know what? I'm still not perfect. But even with tracking of my health habits to keep myself accountable and pretty good stats on that, I somehow haven't been able to get to even normal health let alone stellar health. So either I'm doing this all wrong and all this research I do on health is worthless (and numerous doctors, nutritionists and personal trainers have given good feedback so I doubt that) , or it just isn't that cut and dried. I might have more issues than some but I'm certainly not alone in this by any stretch of the imagination. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Most of us have lives that are a lot more complex. There are some things that I might have been able to control in my health 20 plus years ago when I first got sick. I wasn't perfect. Of course in my case they don't really know what caused my problems - even the doctors aren't able to tell me that I'm sick because I was an idiot and did xyz. I work hard to try and have good health habits now to help to promote healing and to at least not contribute to further health problems. But you know what? I'm still not perfect. But even with tracking of my health habits to keep myself accountable and pretty good stats on that, I somehow haven't been able to get to even normal health let alone stellar health. So either I'm doing this all wrong and all this research I do on health is worthless (and numerous doctors, nutritionists and personal trainers have given good feedback so I doubt that) , or it just isn't that cut and dried. I might have more issues than some but I'm certainly not alone in this by any stretch of the imagination. Hugs... Sorry. I wasn't talking about you at all! I actually realised what I said didn't make much sense. And Im too tired tonfigure out how to say it. Of course most health conditions are a complex mix of factors and we can only control so much of anything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Oh I wasn't responding only to you. Some of this probably fits on the other thread but the other thread makes me a bit more hot under the collar and I don't trust myself to respond politely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Because really the world doesn't work like that. I mean sometimes people do have to eat crow or their words or whatever, but many times they can go on in their ignorant judgmental way. And on one level that's ok. I don't really wish that someone who is judgmental get what is coming to them even as I do wish they would learn to have some compassion and see that there is a bit more grey in the world than the black and white that most judgmental people seem to only see. There are many times I hope for karma for those who are judgmental, but I agree that in general, the world doesn't work that way. It's all pretty much a lottery IME. Personally, I'm convinced that I get to deal with my issues to fix a character flaw I have... (I'm probably only half joking with this rather than my usual sarcastic self. Thinking there are things I might be able to "fix" is a mental boost.) I definitely grew up with the belief that humans evolved (or were created) to fix themselves and if you take care of the body properly and are fortunate enough to avoid accidents and other "non-care" things that happen, all will be well. Couple this with being a naturally "in charge" personality (from birth) who seriously dislikes NOT being able to fix problems or even know enough about them to contemplate fixes and it's not really a good combo. Google is only so much help. Then add in the very unnatural feeling that, to me, makes going to dr appts akin to picking up snakes (which I loathe) and it's been an "interesting" ride for the past 18 months. I handled one issue and was (more or less) proud of myself and glad it was DONE - resume regular life. Uh yeah, right. Apparently I hadn't learned enough. The second issue is half dealt with. Apparently that wasn't enough either. So now there's more - all unconnected by the way. It would be WAY too easy to just have ONE issue (sigh). I like to think it's getting (mentally) better, but that would be a lie (sigh). So it's not really karma in my case. I never cared if others used doctors for health issues, and can easily admit that sometimes they are needed. In my case I'm more or less convinced there's some student (current or former) who has a voodoo doll and pins. It fits my scenario the best. :tongue_smilie: But I'll also admit to hoping for karma for some of the judgmental folks. And in the process of it all, I definitely have seen myself develop more compassion and more knowledge of the grey vs black & white, so there HAS been character development of the type that I think only comes from BTDT. Perhaps that's why I hope for karma. Character development is always a win for all of us. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Because really the world doesn't work like that. I mean sometimes people do have to eat crow or their words or whatever, but many times they can go on in their ignorant judgmental way. And on one level that's ok. I don't really wish that someone who is judgmental get what is coming to them even as I do wish they would learn to have some compassion and see that there is a bit more grey in the world than the black and white that most judgmental people seem to only see. It doesn't work that way. At least I have no reason to believe it does. I sometimes say stuff like, "What goes around comes around." But mostly because I wish it were true. Of course it can always happen that one says something about a situation and then change their mind when they are actually faced with it or experience the situation from the other side. We assume we understand why other people do what they do, but I don't think we always can unless we find ourselves in a similar situation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I gotta admit, though, that I do smirk to myself when I see someone who is pregnant with their first child talking about how their children are always going to _____ ... I think the karma bus will come for them soon :D 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I gotta admit, though, that I do smirk to myself when I see someone who is pregnant with their first child talking about how their children are always going to _____ ... I think the karma bus will come for them soon :D Karma, character development, reality... maybe they are all interchangeable words in this context? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 No, I haven't, because the world doesn't really work that way. Humans are simply primed to see patterns, so when we think we see one (as in "I was a judgmental twit and boy do I feel dumb now!", or whatever) we go "dingdingding!" and make a connection. But there is none, just like there aren't any camels or weasels in the clouds, and leaving the bus stop doesn't really make the bus come any sooner. With that said, if a more or less belief in a just world helps you be a better person and live a better life and be less judgmental, then by all means, don't let me stop you! The trouble is, that sort of belief often has the opposite effect. Not so good. Edit: Forgot a word! I have taken this entire thread as tongue in cheek, not literally. Of course the world does not work this way. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Of course it doesn't always work in that way, but here are some examples: Judge other parents about leashes, then realize they will save your nephew's life. Judge someone for being disabled with migraines, my headaches got debilitating (though said person was also clearly a narcissist, so this might not fully apply) Judge schools as inadequate compared to homeschooling, have a kid who's not academically oriented, but is instead athletic & extremely social, realize school might really be a better place for him. Judge someone for not taking care of themselves, get diabetes anyway. Judge someone mentioned in this forum for being neglectful of housework, have a muddy & chaotic weekend where you never get all the mud mopped up or the dishes caught up. Decide you are too tired to deal at night after everyone goes to bed. Get depressed and overwhelmed and tempted to do nothing about the mess. Realize on a Tuesday that perhaps St Patrick day will become your new spring cleaning day, school's off, tell everyone to clean something upon reward of the Aquarium this afternoon. Decide "attachment" parenting is ridiculous, until you have a child that CLEARLY needs it. I guess what I mean is, there are a lot more gray areas of life than I thought when I was young and knew everything. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I guess what I mean is, there are a lot more gray areas of life than I thought when I was young and knew everything. We tend to think our experiences are universal and right (whatever that means to any of us) until we experience enough conflicting events to realize they're not necessarily so. I wouldn't have attributed it to karma either, even the tongue in cheek kind, but maturity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I have eaten my hat more than once. I think everyone's diet needs a little hat every now and then. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 But more importantly, do you think eating hats will help prevent health issues? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 But more importantly, do you think eating hats will help prevent health issues? Cupcake hats. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Cupcake hats. In kilts? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 In kilts? YES. A shopping cart full of cupcake hats in kilts left in the parking lot. Maybe we could bake them in a crockpot. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 YES. A shopping cart full of cupcake hats in kilts left in the parking lot. Maybe we could bake them in a crockpot. What if that parking lot was outside a house with nine bedrooms? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 What if that parking lot was outside a house with nine bedrooms? Only if we have to take off our shoes to enter the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I guess what I mean is, there are a lot more gray areas of life than I thought when I was young and knew everything. Since, as a collective, we really do seem to know everything, why is it that on doctor appt days, everything is perfectly fine? This has it's mechanical equivalent, of course, with taking a car into the garage, then having to describe the noise, then wondering if you really heard the noise or if it's all some fantasy the mind has made up. :glare: But more importantly, do you think eating hats will help prevent health issues? Currently eyeing the hats in my house to determine which one is the best candidate. I've had two dr appts in two days which has exceeded my personal limit by a lot, but there's a minimum of another three scheduled within the week... so right now? With feeling perfectly fine and wondering what in the world I've agreed to and the suggestion that eating a hat could work... it's awfully tempting! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 So the other thread about health and prescriptions got me thinking about judgment... Have you ever noticed that if you judge someone for something (something that's morally nuanced, as opposed to unabashedly evil), you get tested with the same thing you just judged them for? BTW... I use karma in the what goes around comes around, you reap what you sew sense, rather than a strict religious sense about future lives. YES. Repeatedly. Mostly since having children :glare: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 No, I haven't noticed such a thing, but I am not particularly superstitious. I don't think there is some grand unifying power paying any attention whatsoever to our lives, meting out justice or retribution or reward. Things don't 'happen for a reason', they just...happen. What we chose to make of it or connections seen or unseen or lessons learned is up to us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Of course it doesn't always work in that way, but here are some examples: Judge other parents about leashes, then realize they will save your nephew's life. Judge someone for being disabled with migraines, my headaches got debilitating (though said person was also clearly a narcissist, so this might not fully apply) Judge schools as inadequate compared to homeschooling, have a kid who's not academically oriented, but is instead athletic & extremely social, realize school might really be a better place for him. Judge someone for not taking care of themselves, get diabetes anyway. Judge someone mentioned in this forum for being neglectful of housework, have a muddy & chaotic weekend where you never get all the mud mopped up or the dishes caught up. Decide you are too tired to deal at night after everyone goes to bed. Get depressed and overwhelmed and tempted to do nothing about the mess. Realize on a Tuesday that perhaps St Patrick day will become your new spring cleaning day, school's off, tell everyone to clean something upon reward of the Aquarium this afternoon. Decide "attachment" parenting is ridiculous, until you have a child that CLEARLY needs it. I guess what I mean is, there are a lot more gray areas of life than I thought when I was young and knew everything. This stuff happens to me all the time! Hope your week is great to make up for the messy weeknd. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TianXiaXueXiao Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 When I was a sophomore in high school, I made fun of my class mate's warts one day. The very next day, I woke up to find a large wart on the palm of my right hand, on the pad just below the index figure. Boy did I feel like a jerk! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWillSoar Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 It does seem like it always happens to me. My first two kids were always such good eaters, and I thought it was because of my great parenting skills. Then I had number three. Picky, picky, picky! When my first born was an infant, my neighbor had a three year old who wouldn't take naps. I remember thinking, "My kid is going to take naps at that age." Then that time came and he refused to take a nap. In fact, none of my kids were good at taking naps! Serves me right. Now I really try to not be judgmental because I know it will come back to bite me! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 While I don't believe in any real kind of karma (including the non-spiritual kind), I do think how you treat people affects how they treat you. For example, a poor parent will often end up with adult children who want no no real relationship with said parent. A user will have a huge "friend turnover", as each supposed friend realizes they're only a friend for what they can provide. Treating a customer service person nicely will often (not always) get you a better resolution than yelling. Of course none of those things are a given. So in a true sense of you get what's coming to you from the Universe/God/Goddess? No, I don't believe it. Can you make things better or worse for yourself? Yes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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