JoJosMom Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I will never forgive my mom for not letting me say goodbye to my grandmother. Take her. The soonest that I can get her there would be tomorrow night. The biggest question now is whether there is any likelihood of meaningful interaction. Jo wants to go if Yia Yia is still able to interact; she is okay with not going if not. Having been the one to sit with my brother after life support was withdrawn, I will NOT send her to view a dying body in the ICU; she's not ready for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 In other news, I've got to go back for another squish and an ultrasound. I cleverly scheduled it right before Thanksgiving, which effectively gets me out of cooking. :D Although I will make pie. Pie is important. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 The soonest that I can get her there would be tomorrow night. The biggest question now is whether there is any likelihood of meaningful interaction. Jo wants to go if Yia Yia is still able to interact; she is okay with not going if not. Having been the one to sit with my brother after life support was withdrawn, I will NOT send her to view a dying body in the ICU; she's not ready for that. Send her. If it's too late it's too late, but if you don't send her she might miss something that she could keep forever. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I would take her. It is so hard to know whether any meaningful interaction is possible. Even twilight sleep, the light coma at the end, has bits of wakefulness and recognition--if not words. I think taking her will help her process her death. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Sorry, CF; double squish is no fun. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 If she wants to go and it is possible, then I would fly her there. It can bring her some needed closure. What to say and do? When my dad was dying, ds and I sang some hymns to him. Or you can read something. We also just spent some time talking about our lives, which sounds a bit weird but it was actually distracting for my dad and comforting in a way for him to just see and be with the grandkids. Note: actual death throes (death rattle, movement even after death etc. can be very disturbing. It was for me, and I'm an adult. Dd also was able to take care of some last minute things for my dad that were really on his mind. So dd and dh went off to take care of them and being able to physically do something for him helped dd. And it helped my dad because it was something that was really weighing on his mind and having that taken care of made it easier for him to let go. Thanks, Jean. This is very helpful. If Jo goes, she'll have to go by herself, so I'll need to prepare her beforehand. And, honestly, DH is not very good at reading her emotionally. She is INCREDIBLY sensitive, but she hides it. I am more than a bit terrified right now. As for the next part, I've seen dying and I know my child. She needs to NOT be there for the active dying process. Period. Yia Yia got a blood transfusion last night. I'm hoping that she rallies for a few days. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Critterfixer is my favorite thing.Yeah, she's got some pretty amazing ideas!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Ladies, I could use some help/advice/insight. Yia Yia is fading fast. DH should be there in a few hours. My question is wrt DD. IF (and it's an IF) it looks like we will have a couple more days in which meaningful interaction is possible, 1) should I fly DD there tomorrow and 2) do you have suggestions for her as to what to say/how to act? I know that you can't give me specifics because you don't know her, but and general advice or things to consider would be very appreciated. She wants to go. Take her. It will be meaningful for her. Have her just act as naturally and loving as she already is. It will be closure for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I should add: Jo watched her beloved great-grandmother, my grandmother, die of ALS. Jo was turning 7 at the time of diagnosis and was 8 1/2 at the time of death. In case you don't know, ALS is a hellish way to die. We kept Jo away for the last several days, but I question whether we waited too long for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (edited) The boys picked a picture of a Gypsy Vanner stallion for the art teacher. I guess I ought to get sketching, huh? All that hair is going to take me a good week to draw through. Edited November 7, 2017 by Critterfixer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 My thing would be IF Yia Yia rallies after the transfusion AND Jo can go, see her, and leave before Yia goes, I would totally send her. Because then she has seen more death than just the horrific one she has seen. But those are big ifs. Good point. Thanks, Angi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 We finally ordered dd's Anatomy and Physiology books. A bit late but oh well. (She's still finishing up Biology from last year so it's not that late but there might be a week when she has no science.) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 This is just my .02, but I think death is scarier when it is an unknown, unfamiliar thing....when it is something to be feared, and hid from. In reality, death is a part of life, even messy hellish ones. My kids have had several close family members die. The one that they struggle with the most is a suicide (gunshot to the head). They didn't get to say goodbye, or process much. It was a brief funeral, and he was just gone. I think seeing healthy family, sick family, then dying family helps with closure. ----------- I know what ALS death looks like, we had a friend die of ALS. (It looks similar to what a lot of brain tumor deaths look like--locked in syndrome--problems breathing, etc., fwiw.) I get avoiding death rattles...but this is leukemia/anemia, right? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I guess I've been thrown by the wayside! We get multiple most favorite things. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Ladies, I could use some help/advice/insight. Yia Yia is fading fast. DH should be there in a few hours. My question is wrt DD. IF (and it's an IF) it looks like we will have a couple more days in which meaningful interaction is possible, 1) should I fly DD there tomorrow and 2) do you have suggestions for her as to what to say/how to act? I know that you can't give me specifics because you don't know her, but and general advice or things to consider would be very appreciated. She wants to go. When my grandmother was dying (bone cancer, I think?), my mom had me go read to her. Now, I wouldn't suggest telling your dd to just read whatever comes to her (from the Bible) like my mom suggested, because that was horrible. But maybe you could think up a couple things that Yia Yia would enjoy hearing. When I first saw my grandmother in her very ill state, I nearly passed out. That was well before I went to read to her, so the drama was a little less at that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Dd8 now wears the same size shoe as dd(almost)15. Gah. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanalouwho Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I need to vent. Everything is going wrong. My washing machine is broken. My refrigerator is broken. My garbage disposal is broken. My septic system is not working at 100%. Thankfully it is still working. All the bills are late. Like, we're about a week away from disconnections and repos. We've been waiting on a check from our home insurance so we can start fixing things. It was supposed to arrive today at the latest. And today we find out there is some issue with our mail. Our bank called to say they had returned mail and wanted to double-check our address. It was, of course, correct as it hasn't changed in 2.5 years. So we talk to the post office. They say everything is good, and that they know they sent stuff out for us today. We wait for delivery, and receive nothing. We call the post office back, and they have no answers. Where is our check? Was it sent back like our bank statement was? Or was it delivered somewhere else? What is the issue? The postal deliverer hasn't changed, our address hasn't changed. So why is this happening? Why now, when we need our mail more than ever? Sent from my HTCD160LVW using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Lana--I'm so sorry that's happening? Do you have any hurricane waivers on bills? I know we got notifications that our mortgage, insurance, and a number of other bills would not be subject to late fees/cancellations because we were in a hurricane affected area. I'll pray that that check arrives soon. Is your adjuster local? Ours printed off a check on the spot when we we got hail damaged/had the roof leaks earlier this year. --------------It's been a rough year in TX. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanalouwho Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Lana--I'm so sorry that's happening? Do you have any hurricane waivers on bills? I know we got notifications that our mortgage, insurance, and a number of other bills would not be subject to late fees/cancellations because we were in a hurricane affected area. I'll pray that that check arrives soon. Is your adjuster local? Ours printed off a check on the spot when we we got hail damaged/had the roof leaks earlier this year. --------------It's been a rough year in TX. They did give us a short grace period, but they are losing their gracefulness now. It's just really hard right now, and with this one check we could have our heads above water again. But now we have no idea when/if this check will arrive. Sent from my HTCD160LVW using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 ((Lana)) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 :grouphug: Lana. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 They did give us a short grace period, but they are losing their gracefulness now. It's just really hard right now, and with this one check we could have our heads above water again. But now we have no idea when/if this check will arrive. Sent from my HTCD160LVW using Tapatalk Yeah, ours are up the 30th. I'd text whomever your adjuster is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 So, dh has been working 12 hours a day....pretty much all year. Some days it has looked more like 18 hour days. He asked me to hire a lawn service to lay mulch, tidy the bushes, etc. It looks great. It really does. But I am :scared: :scared: :scared: at the cost (which dh approved). Tell me to support my dh, please. I need encouragement in welcoming his desire to make our house look nice. It's admittedly more work than we could've done in a month of Saturdays, it's taking a 4 person crew (in fit shape with good equipment) an afternoon. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (edited) (( Lana)) I wish I could say more!!! I wish I could do something for you! Edited November 7, 2017 by KrissiK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 So, dh has been working 12 hours a day....pretty much all year. Some days it has looked more like 18 hour days. He asked me to hire a lawn service to lay mulch, tidy the bushes, etc. It looks great. It really does. But I am :scared: :scared: :scared: at the cost (which dh approved). Tell me to support my dh, please. I need encouragement in welcoming his desire to make our house look nice. It's admittedly more work than we could've done in a month of Saturdays, it's taking a 4 person crew (in fit shape with good equipment) an afternoon. It's worth it for the time saved for your family. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 It's worth it for the time saved for your family. It's worth it for the time it saves your DH so that he can enjoy free time with his family. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (((JJM))) I'm so, so sorry the leukemia is progressing so rapidly. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Send Jo. Jean's advice is good. So is everyone else's. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (((Lana))) Praying for resolution of all these things! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (edited) It's worth it for the time saved for your family. It's worth it for the time it saves your DH so that he can enjoy free time with his family. :iagree: It's a "time is priceless" BOOYAH!!!! Edited November 7, 2017 by Another Lynn 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanalouwho Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 ((JJM)) I agree. Send Jo so she can get closure. ((Prairie)) I understand sticker shock, but it sounds as if you DH has been working hard this year. It's okay to decide that his time is better spent resting with family. Sent from my HTCD160LVW using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (((Lana))) What a mess! :glare: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (((Lana))) (((Prairie))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 (((JJM and Jo and Family))) We went through this 10 years ago with my MIL. My kids were much younger (and two were not yet born). It helped to call dMiL's nurse at the hospital to get her assessment of MiL's condition. DFiL didn't understand the signs like the nurses did. We all went and we had a couple of days with her at the end. I would definitely send Jo and I wish there was a way for you to go as well. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 COFFEE!!☕ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸ It's the only thing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Want coffee. And chocolate pie. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Tire isn’t repairable but it’s under warranty so it’s all good. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 ((((Lana)))) ((((JJM)))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Lawn service? Just pretend you are in ITT Island, where such a thing is a given. #awesomesauce 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Susan, I just finished the first episode of Stranger Things. It's good. Creepy. But good. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I am glad it's under warranty, Jean. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Must write...500 words... :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I made gf cornbread. Tasty. And it came out even though I tweaked a couple of recipes to fit the ingredients I had on hand. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Alex and John ran circles around the sanctuary in opposite directions so they could scream in excitement every time they passed each other. So cute. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 14,490. Imma edit for a while. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Now Mary's crying because she realized she forgot to read at quiet time. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I need to vent. Everything is going wrong. :grouphug: :grouphug: After a night with a fever, chills, and endless nursing, I think whatever it was that looked like a breast infection is gone! No more fever or hard red patches. Is there a nice way to tell your parents that they're planning on staying too long for Thanksgiving? They were invited for the week of Thanksgiving and I was told they are planning on coming the Sat before until the Mon after. Which will mean that the kids get no down time before going back to school. Sat-Sat is what I was expecting- two extra days don't sound like much but they will make a big difference. We've had visitors almost every weekend! It's nice that people want to visit, but my kids (and I) are introverts and need space. And these are not helpful visitors- they will be the "what's for dessert," "I don't like leftovers or pizza," and "who's going to fix me lunch?" "we're on vacation and not here to work" kind of visitors. I can't think of any way to suggest they at least leave Sun instead of Mon (so the kids have one quiet evening before going back to school) without being offensive. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Paige, so glad for the relief. Ugh about the guests. I have no idea what I would say, but the ITT has plenty of bossy-pantzers who I'm sure could come up with something. Maybe you can schedule an "emergency fumigation" for Saturday? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lots of little ducklings Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 :seeya: I left a blade from the food processor drying on the kitchen windowsill. For a week and a half. (Because corner cabinets #suck, especially bottom corner cabinets.) . But the blade was just a tad too close to the kitchen faucet, and well... washing dishes turned my finger into a bloody mess. It's a ridiculously small cut to hurt as much as it does. #whine #wimp #cornercabinetssuck #isaidsucks 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lots of little ducklings Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 First off a Layoff It’s gonna be a week of Mondays here. I can tell it by the slightly trembling tear, Exclamation point upon the fear, That nothing that we’ve studied stuck this year. Stubborn feet refuse to load the gate, We got up early and we started late, While waiting for the brain-fog to abate, Turned out that gray was the steady state. It’s gonna be a week of Mondays plain. I figure we will muddle through the pain, Grouse and grumble right on through the strain, When nothing’s lost, there’s nothing left to gain. Random Musings I saved this. :001_wub: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 :seeya: I left a blade from the food processor drying on the kitchen windowsill. For a week and a half. (Because corner cabinets #suck, especially bottom corner cabinets.) . But the blade was just a tad too close to the kitchen faucet, and well... washing dishes turned my finger into a bloody mess. It's a ridiculously small cut to hurt as much as it does. #whine #wimp #cornercabinetssuck #isaidsucks That was a like of sympathy. Now put that blade away. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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