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I like this one:) :waving:

 

I know, right? Maybe I am just old, but I have a very hard time understanding. License = freedom, adventure, maybe a little mischief;)

Well, I do know that new drivers have a lot of restrictions. When I was in high school, you pile a whole bunch of girls in the family car and go to the football game and pizza after. Some of my best high school memories are of my BFF and her little blue 1976 Toyota Celica. We had so much fun driving around in that little car. Nowadays, if you're under 18 you can only drive family members around, and that's no fun. Edited by KrissiK
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I'm sorry Heather. Would saying something like "based on what he said about my husband he is no longer welcome at our house " work? That would be tough no matter what. ((Heather))

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Deleted for privacy Edited by Professormom
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Well, I do know that new drivers have a lot of restrictions. When I was in high school, you pile a whole bunch of girls in the family car and go to the football game and pizza after. Some of my best high school memories are of my BFF and her little blue 1976 Toyota Celica. We had so much fun driving around in that little car. Nowadays, if you're under 18 you can only drive family members around, and that's no fun.

Wow. That is no fun. We don't have that restriction here. There are limits to how many kids can be in the car, but they can drive friends.

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Heather if you tell him directly, he could make his own decision to stop coming, give his parents a bogus reason why and no one is any wiser.  Or he could lie to his parents about you and really make it ugly.  Seems like any hope of salvaging friendship with his Mom is to talk to her directly.  So.So.Hard.  (In answer to your original question, No, I've never had to do that.)

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Well, I do know that new drivers have a lot of restrictions. When I was in high school, you pile a whole bunch of girls in the family car and go to the football game and pizza after. Some of my best high school memories are of my BFF and her little blue 1976 Toyota Celica. We had so much fun driving around in that little car. Nowadays, if you're under 18 you can only drive family members around, and that's no fun.

 

Right, these days it seems no fun and it's expensive. I tried to tell him that he doesn't actually have to get his license (it'll be 9months min. after the permit anyway), but without the permit and practice, whenever he decides he's ready, he's going to have to wait at least 9 months! It's better to be ready and not need it then to need it and not be ready. 

 

DH doesn't even care (is he the chauffeur? NO.) He's happy to not ever add anyone on the insurance and happy to not worry about DS driving. I'm future oriented, though, and know my nephew is struggling to get enough practice hours while he's in college because he doesn't have anyone to help him since he's in school away from his family. He's been trying for almost 2 years. Other nephew didn't get his license until he was close to 24 and it hurt him with getting jobs. I'm really only trying to help DS avoid problems later.

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Right, these days it seems no fun and it's expensive. I tried to tell him that he doesn't actually have to get his license (it'll be 9months min. after the permit anyway), but without the permit and practice, whenever he decides he's ready, he's going to have to wait at least 9 months! It's better to be ready and not need it then to need it and not be ready. 

 

DH doesn't even care (is he the chauffeur? NO.) He's happy to not ever add anyone on the insurance and happy to not worry about DS driving. I'm future oriented, though, and know my nephew is struggling to get enough practice hours while he's in college because he doesn't have anyone to help him since he's in school away from his family. He's been trying for almost 2 years. Other nephew didn't get his license until he was close to 24 and it hurt him with getting jobs. I'm really only trying to help DS avoid problems later.

 

Paige, I think you're exactly right.  When discussing teen issues with friends who have kids older than mine, one concern was getting enough driving experience before the teen leaves for college (if he/she goes away) because often they park the car at college, rarely drive it, end up being not-so great drivers due to the lack of experience.  This is one reason I don't really love all the new restrictions and waiting until kids are older to start the process.  I know it's designed to help them be better drivers, but I think it may backfire.  

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Heather, I think a non-emotional, Johnny did this, we don't want that drama here, I'm sorry, end conversation, would work. It must be hard. I've had some kids I didn't want here before but usually the parents and I aren't close in that situation and I'm happy to be free of both of them. 

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I said suck!!!

 

 

I get my kids in trouble for saying that word!!

 

But sometimes.... you just have to use strong language.

I noticed that:)

 

But you are right. Most things get the glass half full treatment with me. But there are some things that can only be called what they are... a glass full to the brim with sewer water.

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Heather if you tell him directly, he could make his own decision to stop coming, give his parents a bogus reason why and no one is any wiser. Or he could lie to his parents about you and really make it ugly. Seems like any hope of salvaging friendship with his Mom is to talk to her directly. So.So.Hard. (In answer to your original question, No, I've never had to do that.)

Exactly!! That is what I was thinking too. He has already lied about so many people and situations. Grr.

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OMG. DD (9) has had her friend stuck in a closet for almost 3 hours! We told them that they couldn't play because DD had homework but she snuck her in and she has been hiding. We found little friend scared and crying.  :crying:

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Heather, I think a non-emotional, Johnny did this, we don't want that drama here, I'm sorry, end conversation, would work. It must be hard. I've had some kids I didn't want here before but usually the parents and I aren't close in that situation and I'm happy to be free of both of them.

:lol:

 

That definitely makes a difference. If she does decide that it is worth losing our friendship, I will be clear that that would make me sad, but it is *her* choice. And yes, the non-emotional part has me a bit worried, but not for the obvious reasons, lol. If someone comes at me with emotional weaponry, lol, I tend to go hard shell pretty quickly and have a very hard time softening up again. The challenge for me will be to honor her emotional side. I am not cold to her, but it could look that way if I am not careful.

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OMG. DD (9) has had her friend stuck in a closet for almost 3 hours! We told them that they couldn't play because DD had homework but she snuck her in and she has been hiding. We found little friend scared and crying. :crying:

Oh no! Poor little thing.

 

Just pull her aside and tell her that she now has an awesome story for dinner party conversations when she grows up. Lol.

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I used to drive blue Celica too:) It was one of my favorite cars. But not in high school. That was the black 77 Grand Prix.

Oh yeah...

https://goo.gl/images/9KutfS

Oh Heather, you totally rock!!! I am not showing that car to DH, I'd have to wipe up the drool from my iPad. His first car was a 1969 Grand Prix and it is in the garage, covered and not running.

 

And this is a Muscle Car Booya/h!!

Edited by KrissiK
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Sorry to drag the drama into our happy place. I think I am going to avoid the seas with this one, even though I had been inclined to see if anyone had any ideas that would let me justify not dealing with this at all :lol:

 

But, I have a feeling it would not go well.

 

However, I did my part to get us a little closer to 1974... because 1974 is magical.

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Thanks, all of y'all:) Your love is giving me strength.

 

I am going to try to keep it that way.

"This is our concern. He knows so he can fill you in. You can choose how to handle that info in your own time and way, but we don't think that x event is a fit. We don't need to be involved in anyway from this point forward, we have other things that need our attention. But, I love you and wanted to address it with you directly in order to honor our friendship." Fin

 

I'm afraid that saying that you don't think that the even is a fit is going to elicit some arguments about why they think it is a fit.  Or they might just think it is your opinion but not a firm boundary. 

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Oh Heather, you totally rock!!! I am not showing that car to DH, I'd have to wipe up the drool from my iPad. His first car was a 1969 Grand Prix and it is in the garage, covered and not running.

Awesome! Well, not the not running part, but the rest of it. Well, maybe not the idea of Mr Krissi drooling either, but everything else;)

 

It was a really fun car. But, man, I had to parallel park that beast for my driver's test. No pressure there!

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Sorry to drag the drama into our happy place. I think I am going to avoid the seas with this one, even though I had been inclined to see if anyone had any ideas that would let me justify not dealing with this at all :lol:

 

But, I have a feeling it would not go well.

 

However, I did my part to get us a little closer to 1974... because 1974 is magical.

It's probably a good idea to avoid the seas. They seem to be a bit treacherous lately.
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OK - I have been discouraging my kids in getting their permits and license.  Ds (20 by that time) will get his license finally this summer.  He's had a permit for two years.  We've stretched it out as long as we can because as soon as he gets his license he is required to get auto insurance.  Even adding him to ours is going to be very expensive. 

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I'm afraid that saying that you don't think that the even is a fit is going to elicit some arguments about why they think it is a fit. Or they might just think it is your opinion but not a firm boundary.

Hmmm. That is a good point. That makes it seem open for the future, which barring some personality conversation on his part, is not likely.

 

You have much wisdom, my friend:)

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OK - I have been discouraging my kids in getting their permits and license. Ds (20 by that time) will get his license finally this summer. He's had a permit for two years. We've stretched it out as long as we can because as soon as he gets his license he is required to get auto insurance. Even adding him to ours is going to be very expensive.

It is a HUGE jump. I almost choked when I got a whiff of our differential coming up next year. We are going to try to find a beater because there ain't NO way speedy Gonzales is going to be driving either of our vehicles, lol. But, it doesn't even matter. It is still a lot of $.

 

I get why parents put it off and they are very justified in making the decision. I have just been surprised at the trend for the *kids* to not want to get it. It isn't even apathy, it is almost antipathy to the idea. And it seems like there is a maturity issue attached to it with most of the people I know. But that is an uber tiny sample size. I am sure there are many reasons. Different strokes and all.

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OK - I have been discouraging my kids in getting their permits and license.  Ds (20 by that time) will get his license finally this summer.  He's had a permit for two years.  We've stretched it out as long as we can because as soon as he gets his license he is required to get auto insurance.  Even adding him to ours is going to be very expensive. 

 

I want him to get his permit and be able to get his license when he wants. I don't actually want him to get his license anytime soon. We don't have to add him to the insurance with a permit so I see no downside to getting it as soon as possible so he can have lots of practice. I also think that in an emergency situation, I want him able to drive even if he doesn't legally have the license. He can have his permit for 5 years for all I care, as long as he's prepared when he needs the license. 

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OK - I have been discouraging my kids in getting their permits and license.  Ds (20 by that time) will get his license finally this summer.  He's had a permit for two years.  We've stretched it out as long as we can because as soon as he gets his license he is required to get auto insurance.  Even adding him to ours is going to be very expensive. 

 

He's had a permit for two years and he didn't go away to college.  He has been under your roof (and driving instruction) the whole time and will continue to be while he gains more experience newly licensed.  Sounds good to me!  The concern that was voiced to me (and made sense) was related to kids who go off to college, live on campus, and end up not getting much driving experience.  

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I want him to get his permit and be able to get his license when he wants. I don't actually want him to get his license anytime soon. We don't have to add him to the insurance with a permit so I see no downside to getting it as soon as possible so he can have lots of practice. I also think that in an emergency situation, I want him able to drive even if he doesn't legally have the license. He can have his permit for 5 years for all I care, as long as he's prepared when he needs the license.

Our state only allows permits for two years.

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Our state only allows permits for two years.

 

What happens after that if you don't want to get a license? Can you get a new permit? I need to look into that.

 

FWIW, my irritation with being the chauffeur is not actually in being the chauffeur, but the presumption that since I'm the chauffeur there's no need to make an effort.

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Oh, Heather!  That really stinks!  I have never had to deal with that situation, and I hope that I never will.  Yuck.

 

FWIW, I like the approach that you and your husband came up with.  Truly, I think that this will be a "less is more" situation.  Any detail that you provide can be disputed and can be a wedge.  I'd stick with the option of letting him explain how he managed to be expelled from a home that is warm and welcoming to a whole bunch of OTHER kids.  He'll have to actually come up with an explanation, not just an altered version of what you tell his mom.

 

And then you should have chocolate and wine.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

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What happens after that if you don't want to get a license? Can you get a new permit? I need to look into that.

 

FWIW, my irritation with being the chauffeur is not actually in being the chauffeur, but the presumption that since I'm the chauffeur there's no need to make an effort.

You get a permit for one year at a time. You can renew once for one time. I'm not quite sure what you're supposed to do after that.

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The boys have the puppies out again for another evening run. I bothered the chickens this evening and all four of the little dogs defended the chicken house by "barking loudly" when the rooster gave his alert and alarm call. Good guard dogs!

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I believe that the Silent Generation = the Greatest Generation (Tom Brokaw's name for them)

 

That's what I thought too, but Wikipedia says that's wrong, and Wikipedia is always right. Which is why I posted that my grandparents are from the Greatest Generation, though the youngest two would be considered Silent Generation by some sources (Greatest is from about 1901 to mid-to-late 1920s, and Silent is from mid-to-late 1920s to early-to-mid 1940s - iirc, my grandparents were born in 1911, 1914, 1925, and 1927, though I'm not 100% sure on that first one - might have been 1912).

 

Are we posting on our birth pages now? I have a few pages. :/ 

 

 

No, we post on every page, silly.

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I feel so sick. Neck hurts, ribs hurt from puking, puking all day, heartburn all day, sniffly nose, sneezing, headaches,...why does this baby make me so sick? I don't recall feeling so sick with the others, but maybe it's like birth amnesia. All I've eaten today is plain bread. DH even bought my favorite cookies and just looking at them makes me want to gag. 

 

I thought my morning/all day sickness was passing. I think I am the best birth control my teenage kids could ever get. 

 

 

Talk to your doc about anti-emetics.  I was badly nauseated for the first 4 1/2 months of my first pregnancy -- lost 15 lbs in the first trimester.  I couldn't even keep down pills, so my doc prescribed me Zofran oral dissolve tablets.  They taste foul and the generic that is available tastes even worse, and they caused significant constipation, but they were the only thing keeping me out of the emergency room (did that a few times to get fluids through an IV because I couldn't keep down water).  The tablets are expensive, but I found taking one every 2 or 3 days was enough to help me keep down some food and water.

 

When pregnancy #2 came around my doc put me on those again at the first week-long bout of nausea.

 

 

My DH also took to cooking everything outside on the grill -- even pots of soup -- because any aromas could set me off.  When we went to his folks' house "for dinner" I hid upstairs and they brought some mild food to me up there.

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Hey gals. Happy Sunday. Today is the ILs 68th anniversary. That is a very exciting number:)

 

 

 

 

Congrats to your ILs!

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  About the pending conversation.  No experience there.

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And ((Paige)). We haven't met yet, but morning sickness is of the devil:(

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:   Regarding that teen it sounds like a firm hard stance and blunt honesty with his parents is required, including refusing him entry at the door if he shows up anyway.  They might deny what you say, but you are responsible for the actions of the minors that come to your house.  Anything he does while there you are potentially liable for.  Besides, if no one ever confronts his parents about his behavior they can keep skating along believing that there's no problem or it's not that bad.  If he is to get help (if needed) before turning 18 (when life's repercussions come down a lot harder on the teen) his folks need to act soon.

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I know, right?? I had my DMV appointment on my 16th birthday.

 

 

My brother put his off a bit.  He did his flying solo on his 16th birthday (the first day he was allowed).  He did get his driver's license shortly after, so he could drive himself to the airport to work and take lessons.

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I like this one:) :waving:

 

I know, right? Maybe I am just old, but I have a very hard time understanding. License = freedom, adventure, maybe a little mischief;)

 

 

I wanted to like your previous post, but I ran out again.

 

You have a good plan.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

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Well, I do know that new drivers have a lot of restrictions. When I was in high school, you pile a whole bunch of girls in the family car and go to the football game and pizza after. Some of my best high school memories are of my BFF and her little blue 1976 Toyota Celica. We had so much fun driving around in that little car. Nowadays, if you're under 18 you can only drive family members around, and that's no fun.

 

 

When I was a teen 5 of us from 3 different families would carpool to our schools in a town 30 minutes away (by highway).  The eldest, who drove, was worlds better than his mother, who used to drive us before he got his license.  I hate to think what we would have had to do had that carpool not been an option.

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DS has been old enough to get his permit since Feb and still doesn't have it because he's not studying to pass the written test. He says he doesn't care to get his license because it's just going to be more work for him! Dude, if you think I'm chauffeuring your butt around forever you are wrong.

 

 

Has he tried to take the written test? 

 

After I moved to the US, we went to the DMV to ask what paperwork I'd need to get a learner's permit... and apparently I had everything I needed, so they said that I could go right ahead and take the written test. I was completely unprepared - didn't have the faintest clue about Texas traffic laws (and I'd never driven a motor vehicle of any kind). But, they said that if I failed, I could just take it again on any other day, so, take it I did... and I passed, with the minimum score required to pass (for one, there were 3(!) questions of "how much is the fine if you ...", which imo was completely idiotic... the answer to each of them was "too much", imo). For reasons, I didn't actually take the road test until I was 23 and had a newborn, but anyway... you/he might get lucky and just pass the written test. 

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OMG. DD (9) has had her friend stuck in a closet for almost 3 hours! We told them that they couldn't play because DD had homework but she snuck her in and she has been hiding. We found little friend scared and crying.  :crying:

 

 

Oh, dear!   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  to scared friend.

 

 

 

I bet she won't agree to doing that again any time soon!

 

What did her parents say?

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