How do you wisely spend your time?

[beth83]

It has been an ongoing journey to purge my life of distractions.  I would like to believe that I am not alone.  I'm not even sure how I got here, but I recently realized that I do not know how to just sit and be.  Although, maybe I never did?  I have general ADHD tendencies, but I don't like labels.  Despite having that personality, I still want my children to see me at rest.  I don't want to constantly feel like I need to have my mind distracted, as it often turns to my phone or the computer.  Again, I can't be alone here, right?  I mean, what did pioneer women do?

 

I yearn for the simple life.  I limit our weekly commitments because I don't want to be on the go all the time and become a slave to our schedules or the world.  I'm good during school time, but then afterwards, I'm at a loss.  I want to use my time wisely and set an example for my children.  The Lord has been saying, "Find rest in Me."  But how?  It really hit me recently when I realized that I get anxious if I don't have something to distract me during nursings.  I always turn to my phone.  I don't like that. 

 

The internet can be such a resource for us, as homeschooling moms, but too much can be a bad thing.  Does anyone else have a difficult time getting back to the goodness of the old days without all the distractions?  I've tried to add in more reading, but I have just about maxed out on my daily limit there.  Maybe I need to pick up a craft?  Maybe there is something I am not thinking about?  I want to be like the woman of yesteryear who sits rocking on her porch as her children play.  I'm just not there, yet.  Maybe that is just an unrealistic expectation for me?

 

How do you wisely spend your time?

 

Someone please tell me I'm not alone in this journey.

 

 

[Coco_Clark]

I'm not sure how to answer the poll other than, "all of the above"?  I have also never been able to "sit and be".  I am always doing something, and often two things, though I've never really thought of it as a negative.  I dont think "rest in me" means sit around and do nothing without boredom.  I think it was a comment on fretting :)  And that woman of yester-year certainly wasn't sitting rocking on a porch watching her children play.  The kids were out in the field solo while she worked.  

 

I usually clean, do laundry, wash dishes, ect in the morning. I have daily chores, as well as weekly rotating "zones".  Cleaning is boring, IMO, so I always have a podcast or audio book going while I clean.  Occasionally music so I can dance/clean.    

 

I usually read in the afternoon, because I'm tired and like to sit. I try to have an audiobook, a novel, a spiritual book, and a book on education in my stack at all times.  I'm not always reading one in every division, but I at least make an effort to rotate those divisions.

I often craft.  I find knitting a good use for my hands while I'm sitting next to the kids waiting for them to finish independent work, or when we are at the park.  Or if they are having a rough day relationship-wise and need to be watched over while they play lest it break out into bickering.  Basically anytime they need my eyes and ears but not my hands. 

 

I take short breaks throughout my day for these boards or social media.  Since I stay at home and my husband works long hours, that's often my only outside contact and/or conversation above a 6yo level all day.  I'm on for 5-15 minutes, about a billion times a day.  I actually miss nursing for this.  It was a convenient break.  

I don't do much baking unless the kids are all asleep or I'm willing to make it a family project.  They love to help so it depends on if I want all that "help."  I'm not a baker for the love of it- I just like eating bread/cookies/pies.  But I do spend a considerable time baking and/or cooking.  Just not "while they play".

I'm supposed to be lifting weights a few times a week.  I don't.  But I'm supposed to.  So that's an idea for something to do- a workout.  I do work out at roller derby practice, though they are late at night and early Sat morning, so also, not while the kids play.

  

 

 

[73349]

The trick for me, when I make good use of my time, is having a written list. Maybe you should make yourself a little menu each week?

 

Some good ways to use my time are

• checking/folding the laundry,
• crocheting (I can only do single crochet, but that's enough to make washcloths, hats, and scarves),
• paying a bill,
• unloading the dishwasher or washing something by hand,
• reserving library books online,
• dusting one room,
• planning the menu for a week,
• scheduling things for school,
• making holiday-related plans.

 

I only get real reading done when DS is asleep at night or in quiet time. Same for studying Spanish.

 

On the other hand, sometimes I waste my time on

• Facebook,
• Twitter,
• Kenken (a math game)

etc., especially if my netbook is already on.

 

If you have a separate home phone or it's a time when you wouldn't answer your cell phone anyway, could you put it away in its charger or your purse instead of having it at hand?

[Critterfixer]

During down time in school (boys working on math problems or Latin workbooks) I do my algebra and my Latin. Sometimes I don't get a whole lot done, depending on how much I'm needed. 

Housework is scheduled, and I refuse to waste my free time doing any extra. However, if I do have a nice afternoon to myself I do like to cook.

I write in my free time. That's my other.

[Gentlemommy]

Read, crochet, clean, cook, and very seldom, I watch something on Netflix.

[Guest]

I have a Diaspora and a bunch of blogs that I follow sporadically, but I prefer forums to Facebook. It's not unusual for me to stick around chatting about things like kilts and cupcakes when all my questions have been answered and the problems that brought me to the forum have been solved.

 

Not the greatest habit in the world, but it's better than cigarettes anyway.

[Artichoke]

I think one of the wisest ways I've spent my time while my children were playing was to have played alongside them. When I wasn't playing with them, I'd do whatever needed doing next. I'd also take the time to relax and read or go online sometimes.

[HS Mom in NC]

Sometimes it's meal planning, crafting, reading, online time, writing, watching TV or exercising.

I only watch TV when my husband is reading aloud to the youngest or the youngest is in bed. Sometimes we watch something together and I almost always craft during that time. I quilt.  This year is my year to decide the color scheme and decor for the Christmas tree (we rotate yearly among the females around here) and I quill, quilt and papercraft for that.

I try to keep online to adding something useful to an online conversation and only using FB to maintain some sort of connection to people.  It's easy to get distracted by trivial posts or reading articles that don't contribute to my life, so I try to make those the exception, not the rule.

 

Chores are divided and scheduled and rotated monthly between me and the kids. 6 and older means being part of the chore rotation.

 

I don't know what "sit and be" is.  Does anyone do that?  I don't mean meditating I mean sitting and doing nothing?

[JustEm]

I picked other because I tend to do all of them, minus a craft.  

[Artichoke]

 

I don't know what "sit and be" is.  Does anyone do that?  I don't mean meditating I mean sitting and doing nothing?

 

I do this on our back deck most mornings and occasionally in the hammock in our back yard.  I've always done this, even when we had a houseful of young ones. When the kiddos were really young we had very little money so this was my one and only form of relaxation.  Seriously, I even gave up bubble baths because the water bill would rise.

[Garga]

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have an active mind. I carry a book with me whenever I think there's the remotest possibility I'll have to wait. (Don't have a smart phone, or I'd carry that.) Like, sometimes I have to wait two whole minutes for the carry out pizza to be ready at Pizza Hut! What'll I do for two whole minutes?? That's when I'd pull out the book.

 

I keep a magazine in the car for unexpected times when I'm stopped somewhere.

 

I get bored super easily. I watch tv while I cook and do dishes. I watch something on the ipad while I'm getting ready in the morning (teeth, dressed, etc.)

 

I kinda get what you mean about just sitting and thinking and not having input, but another part of me doesn't really care if my brain likes constant stimulation.

 

I'm not really sure what you're asking. Are you saying that you don't mind thinking and doing as long as it's not electronics? Do you really mean you want to sit completely still doing nothing? I'm thinking not since you considered starting a hobby.

 

You said that God told you to rest in Him. I guess you need to start there then and not with a hobby. My old pastor (he died a long time ago) said that reading 10 chapters a day and not understanding them is not as good as reading one verse a day and having understanding. How about you take 5 minutes a day (at first) to read a single verse. You can skim the chapter for context, but then stop on a single verse and consider everything it can possibly mean. Build up to more time slowly.

 

If, though, you are mostly wanting to be away from electronics, then you can make yourself set them aside for a certain time each day, and slowly build the time you stay away from them. Perhaps no electronics for the first 3 hours you're up or something like that.

 

A hobby could be good as well. I discovered photography a few years ago and adore it. I love to spend time editing the pictures--oops, wait, that's on the computer. But at least it's creative on the computer.

 

If you're not happy with the way things are now, you can make small adjustments and slowly grow them. Limit your time on the electronics, start up a devotional time, get a non-electronic related hobby.

[Clear Creek]

While my children are playing, I work online at my part-time job. Cleaning is a household activity, so if I am cleaning, the kids are cleaning at the same time. I'm not crafty, and the only time I have to read is after the kids go to bed. I love baking, but as I approach 40 I have come to realize that I need to bake out of necessity, not as a hobby...because then my hobby becomes eating the baked goods, and that is not good for my waistline or my blood sugar. ;)

[Dramorellis]

I voted other because really it's a mixture of all of the above. For example, while the older two were engaged in something at the table and the baby was sleeping I cleaned the bath tub, folded a load of diapers, cleaned a pot, wiped down the stove, swept the floor and made a phone call. However in between I sat down and got on the computer at least twice within that hour. Checked some email, sent some, got on WTM obviously, Facebook etc. My problem is that I can zone out in my own head and tune everyone around me out. It is hard to be present with the children on days like that. I try to find distractions to keep me tuned in because all I want to do is go inside myself in my thoughts. I have no problem sitting in silence but when it's time to come up for air that is the hard part. So I may be sitting on the porch knitting while the children play but I'm totally not there. I don't know that that is better.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

My best spent 45 mintues of the week is probably the one where I write out my meal plan and grocery list.  This takes so much stress and wasted time off of me for the rest of the week. 

[Garga]

  I mean, what did pioneer women do?

 

  I want to be like the woman of yesteryear who sits rocking on her porch as her children play.  I'm just not there, yet.  Maybe that is just an unrealistic expectation for me?

 

 

 

I'm watching Colonial House from PBS with the kids right now.  They took regular people and put them in Massachusettes and are having these regular people try to live as if they were a British colony in America in the early 1600s.  

 

I've watched a lot of these types of shows.  I also watched Pioneer House a few years ago. What did the pioneer women do, you ask?  They worked from sun up until sun down until their bodies were worn out and they died young.  The didn't have a spare second to head to the phone or the computer or to a book or anywhere else.  In all these shows, the thing you always come away with is that people in the past worked hard all day long every day.  I've seen follow up interviews with the people who worked on these projects and the women reiterate over and over how brutal the workload was.  One woman was petting her washing machine during the follow up interview and saying, "This is freedom.  This machine...it's freedom."  I thought she was going to kiss it.  The men didn't mind the work so much in these shows, but in the Pioneer House show, the women were worked into the ground and were glad to be back home, even those who had a good attitude about the project.

 

I don't think it helps us in our lives today to compare how we live against how people in the past lived.  First, you have to be sure what you think they did is true.  Did the moms sit around on the porch rocking while the kids played?  Or were they out in the barn wrangling a chicken to the chopping block so they could drain it and pluck it and skin it and make dinner over the next 3 hours?

[SparklyUnicorn]

I goof off a lot.  LOL

 

I don't know if message boards count as wise use of time.

 

Anyhow, I also do have a lot of hobbies.  I'm learning violin (I take lessons once a week and practice).  I love to cook and spend a lot of time doing that.  I read a lot.  I spend time working on math because I want to learn about it.  On and off I've had various crafty hobbies.  Anything from soap making to pretending to crochet.  I like logic puzzles and crosswords, etc.  DH and I like to play board games and cards.

 

I clean when I can't stand how my house looks anymore.  Otherwise in that department it's mostly just the basics so we can live in it.  I hate cleaning. 

 

My guess is back in the day moms spend a lot of time doing housework if they didn't work outside the home.  Some changes in how we do certain things has freed up some more time.  Ya know, we don't have to go beat our clothes on a rock down by the river.  We don't tend to make every single food item from scratch.  I stopped ironing long ago because I found it to be an unnecessary waste of time.  I just mostly buy clothes that don't need ironing. 

 

Growing up, my mother didn't work outside the home, but we lived in an extremely small apartment so you could clean it top to bottom in an hour.  And some stuff doesn't have to be done every day.  She spent most of her free time sitting at the table smoking cigarettes.  She had no hobbies.  To be fair she did have an illness so she did all she could and sitting there most of the time was easier on her than trying to do all sorts of things.  But just saying, she didn't do anything elaborate with her time.  I can't imagine she was totally unusual.  If the kids are gone all day, and the spouse is gone all day, what exactly is there to do all day long? 

[Peregrine]

I chose "cook" because I couldn't choose more than one answer.

 

When my children play in the morning, I make coffee and clean up the kitchen a little while it brews. Then I try to wake up further before we start school. Sometimes I check my email.

 

When my children play after lunch, I clean up a bit and prepare to do any final school stuff for the day.

 

When my children play in the late afternoon, I cook dinner.

 

I do "me" stuff during the kids' rest time (a little over an hour) and after they go to bed. I work on my Spanish lessons, read, check the boards and other internet sites, play Scramble, etc. during those times.

 

 

[violamama]

I practice the viola, which I play professionally. I also run a music academy which involves quite a bit of computer time, but I tend to do that at night when they're sleeping. Sometimes I take a nap or run on the treadmill in the garage, but only if the toddler is sleeping. 

 

I try not to goof off on the internet too much because it means I'll have to fit in the practicing later, and then I'll probably have to use a practice mute which I loathe or drive to the college which is annoying. 

[happypamama]

Little bit of everything! I cook, I clean, I waste time online, I look up useful stuff online, I fold laundry, I tend my babies, I knit. . . My problem is not enough hours and energy, not not having enough stuff to do.

[SereneHome]

I don't spend my time wisely at all.

 

If I did, I would

be sleeping right now

have my own business

have my house cleaned

read all the books that I keep taking and re-taking from the library....

 

the list goes on and on and on.....

[FO4UR]

I think the idea that women of yesteryear rocked on their porches while their children played is...it's a flawed ideal...a fairy tale...and those women were no more or less spiritually devoted than women of today.

 

 

Children of yesteryear were largely left to play while mom worked b/c life depended upon her cooking from scratch and cleaning, sewing, etc...  Big kids learned to work along side their parents.

 

 

Find a moments rest in what brings you rest. If catching the latest picture of your nieces and nephews on fb makes you smile, that's a moment well spent.  If you WANT to craft, go for it.  One thing is not of more or less value b/c one is on an electronic device.

 

Someone up thread mentioned cleaning is time wisely spent...I beg to argue. :hat:  I can spend the next 30min mopping, scrubbing, and washing.  By noon tomorrow, that work will be destroyed.  Or I can spend the next 30min on my writing project and that work will be mine, it will stay done, and it will bear my name for years.  YEARS.  Try that with a mopped floor!

 

 

 

[texasmama]

I always feel so virtuous when I sit quietly and do Sudoku.  Bonus points for doing it with one of my kids who also enjoys it.  I find it relaxing.

[SKL]

Most often if my kids are home and playing, I am doing some sort of housework.  I chose "clean" but it could also be reorganizing, or doing the endless job of purging outgrown stuff to make room for newer stuff.

 

I don't like to read when my kids are with me because I feel it is sort of detached from them.  We aren't together all day, though.  I generally do solitary, sedentary stuff (on work breaks) when my kids are at school or sleeping.  Crafting and cooking, when I do them at all, is usually a family activity.

[Critterfixer]

Cleaning--eh, just depends. I did take some extra time this week over two days with a steamer and a bottle of dilute bleach in a desperate attempt to save myself from the winter vomiting bug this week. It's now been three days since the last case in the house, and I'm still symptom free (knock on wood!) so if that kind of extra cleaning is effective I do call that time well spent.

But see, extra cleaning in the form of baseboards or washing walls--not happening.

[Ausmumof3]

I find it hard to sit and be without text to entertain, book or internet.

 

I have consciously tried it at times and I became more focused and productive. Our brains really need time to clear themselves and process all the input sometimes.

[KrissiK]

Spending my time wisely? I honestly don't know what that means. I do a lot of cleaning or cooking when I'm not teaching school. I know I should probably read or do something edifying when I'm not cooking or cleaning, but this afternoon I just made myself a huge mug of coffee and watched a couple episodes of "Parenthood", which is my latest addiction.