Do you think asynchronous & twice-exceptional are overrepresented here?

[MinivanMom]

Do you think asynchronous & twice-exceptional gifted kids are overrepresented on these forums? Do you think it affects the tone of the conversation here?

 

I've had a few conversations (in real life) recently with friends who send their kids to public school. I was really struck by how positive their comments were about giftedness. I don't think I ever hear anything negative about giftedness in real life. Everyone has kids that are globally gifted (identified as gifted in both math & reading/lang.arts since they are identified separately here); all of their kids are gifted, not just one or two; and the parents are thrilled, thrilled at their fantastic luck in having such fantastic children. I look at their kids and (from the outside) their kids are wonderful, intelligent, and socially adept.

 

I know my in real life experiences are highly anecdotal, so I'm wondering what you all think? Are asynchronous and twice-exceptional kids overrepresented here? Are they perhaps overrepresented among homeschoolers? Does the anonymity of an online forum just give people a place where they feel safer being real and sharing about the challenges that come with gifted children?

[Arcadia]

I think the main difference I see is that in real life people don't care about PG, HG or MG. The distinction doesn't matter to my neighbors just like the chat sub-forum of this board. Giftedness is rarely talk about, economy/employment is the top topic.

 

I think it depends on your social circle and on your neighborhood. Here kids learning to read at two is so common no one thinks it is out of the ordinary. Same for two year olds working out multiplication without help; not widespread but common enough to not appear extraordinary. There are kids on the spectrum in my neighborhood, not sure about other special needs. For asynchronous in terms of academics, parents would hire afterschool tutors on top of coaching their kids themselves. People just deal with it so to speak.

 

The only people I encounter who are negative about even the word bright are the highly competitive people who don't want anyone being "better" than their kids. Their spouses and kids are okay though, just them.

 

I have friends in other neighborhood who get funny looks from strangers in their neighborhood because their toddlers are reading. When they are in my neighborhood they don't get any looks from anyone other than maybe a senior out on a walk being complimentary.

 

ETA:

My school district has scrap the gifted program for many years and parents don't need to report any outside testing. So no one knows how many PG/HG/MG kids are in public school (b&m, ISP, online) or private school.

 

ETA:

Now I am confused as in over represented compare to what reference point. The people posting on the accelerated sub-forum compare to all the members in this WTM forum? Or over-represented as in 2E are more likely to be homeschoolers? Or 2E here compare to the national average?

[lewelma]

I do think that asynchrony/2e does lead people to homeschooling.  These types of kids have very individualized needs that simply cannot be catered for at a standard school.  Homeschooling allows them celebrate their strengths and shore up their weaknesses in a much more straightforward manner than if they were in school moving lock step with the class.

 

So yes, I do think they are over-represented on this board.

 

Ruth in NZ

[regentrude]

Do you think asynchronous & twice-exceptional gifted kids are overrepresented on these forums? Do you think it affects the tone of the conversation here?

 

Yes, I do believe that is probably correct. As bad as the public school situation is for gifted kids without additional issues, I would imagine it virtually impossible for a gifted+asynchronous/2E student not to run into problems at school that may necessitate homeschooling.

So, yes, I think parents of such students often have no choice but to homeschool and will thus be overrepresented here.

 

Also, as I have noticed on other (non-homeschooling) forums for parents of gifted students: parents of gifted students with additional problems - be it behavioral, LDs, emotional etc - are always overrepresented on these forums, because parents who do not have any problems will have much less of a need to seek advice on internet forums in the first place.

[JennW in SoCal]

I do think that asynchrony/2e does lead people to homeschooling.  These types of kids have very individualized needs that simply cannot be catered for at a standard school.  Homeschooling allows them celebrate their strengths and shore up their weaknesses in a much more straightforward manner than if they were in school moving lock step with the class.

 

So yes, I do think they are over-represented on this board.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

And thank heavens, too, because it is awfully lonely out in the real world to have an asynchronous, 2E kind of kid.  There have been periods over the years when the WTM boards were a lonely place, too, as no one ever posted about 2E kids.  I'm rather fond of this current group here, even though I'm done homeschooling, because I'm so happy to see the challenges of these outside the box kids being so openly discussed and the parents getting so much support.

[JenneinCA]

Yes. If my child could be successful in any other situation we would be doing that instead.

 

I have three kids, only one of them is truly in the need to homeschool category due to the terrible asynchrony and then later anxiety. The others I homeschool because they benefit from homeschooling and the opportunity cost has already been paid.

[prairiewindmomma]

We homeschool because our boys are both 2e. The IEP/SPEd teams could offer only a few practical resources and encouraged us to keep homeschooling. I was grateful for their transparency.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Yes, I do believe that is probably correct. As bad as the public school situation is for gifted kids without additional issues, I would imagine it virtually impossible for a gifted+asynchronous/2E student not to run into problems at school that may necessitate homeschooling.

So, yes, I think parents of such students often have no choice but to homeschool and will thus be overrepresented here.

 

Also, as I have noticed on other (non-homeschooling) forums for parents of gifted students: parents of gifted students with additional problems - be it behavioral, LDs, emotional etc - are always overrepresented on these forums, because parents who do not have any problems will have much less of a need to seek advice on internet forums in the first place.

I think this is borne out by the numbers of us who spend the majority of our WTM time talking about one or two of our children when our signatures claim we have many more children than that at home. :) We will mention the others when their interests or strengths come up, or if there's a situational problem, but the all-consuming desire to understand and be understood as a hs'er with challenges? It rotates and revolves around the 2E child in our lives. Raising one of my sons has been a full-time job. He is the joy of my life and the apple of my eye but I know for a fact that my free time will increase exponentially when he goes to college in a year.

 

If I'd I only had my middle two children I might not have homeschooled in the first place. If I had homeschooled just the two of them, I probably would have wondered what all the fuss was about, everybody needing "support" when homeschooling isn't any harder than any other job.

 

I crack myself up.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

:iagree:

 

And thank heavens, too, because it is awfully lonely out in the real world to have an asynchronous, 2E kind of kid.  There have been periods over the years when the WTM boards were a lonely place, too, as no one ever posted about 2E kids.  I'm rather fond of this current group here, even though I'm done homeschooling, because I'm so happy to see the challenges of these outside the box kids being so openly discussed and the parents getting so much support.

 

Same here. The hardest years with my ds are behind me (I think...I hope...) but I like to drop by now and then to read the 2E threads because I'm so glad you all have each other and I'm so glad your children are getting what they need, as well.

[Wheres Toto]

I do think that asynchrony/2e does lead people to homeschooling.  These types of kids have very individualized needs that simply cannot be catered for at a standard school.  Homeschooling allows them celebrate their strengths and shore up their weaknesses in a much more straightforward manner than if they were in school moving lock step with the class.

 

So yes, I do think they are over-represented on this board.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

:iagree:  Definitely agree with this.  It's why we're homeschooling.  If my son was "just" gifted, or "just" quirky, or "just" typical - I don't know that homeschooling would have ever occurred to us.

[Dmmetler]

I think it's just that those of us with asynchronous/2e kids are the ones who talk a lot ;).

 

 

[kiwik]

My eldest is globally gifted (as in all but one subtest (which was 93rd percentile) fell in the gifted range and overall >99.9 prcentile). He is truly bad at writing though and he gets a lot of negative attention for this. It was more obvious he was gifted at preschool though because the teachers had time to actually talk to him and the activities were more open ended.

 

My not quite as highly gifted younger child will probably do better at school (provided he keeps his temper under control).

 

All this is a roundabout way of saying the kids they are talking about are probably MG extroverts.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I was really struck by how positive their comments were about giftedness.

This would have been me if DD was in school. Or even with her at home, if she were an only. It would have been all roses and sunshine. DS11 would never have been recognized as gifted. I truly believe that with every fiber of my being. I had nightmares about what would happen if I put him in school, always featuring a remedial reading group because he wouldn't read in front of people, despite being able to read virtually any written material before he even reached K. DS8 would have been "offered" meds by now, but at least he might have been recognized. Wouldn't have lasted long without drugs, barely has lasted here without them some days, LOL, but who knows...

 

Anyway, I think one big reason you are seeing universal happy parents of gifted children is because so many gifted children in PS, and I would bet dollars to doughnuts most 2e kids, are never recognized as such and are instead thrown into other, less positive categories. It is hard to escape a pigeonhole. Atypical intelligence, masked intelligence, deficits that appear larger than strengths, inflexibility on the part of teachers, administrators, and the classroom environment, etc. all serve to hogtie a kid in school. In my experience, PS is not a strength-based model of education. Happy gifted children are probably more of the all-around variety, although I find this funny as well, because all my kids are actually pretty well-rounded. They just don't appear so at first (superficial) glance, just DD. Of course I let them round slowly and evenly, as necessary. We can be flexible like that at home. Easy to pigeonhole at school for sure.

[Crimson Wife]

 

I've had a few conversations (in real life) recently with friends who send their kids to public school. I was really struck by how positive their comments were about giftedness. I don't think I ever hear anything negative about giftedness in real life. Everyone has kids that are globally gifted (identified as gifted in both math & reading/lang.arts since they are identified separately here); all of their kids are gifted, not just one or two; and the parents are thrilled, thrilled at their fantastic luck in having such fantastic children. I look at their kids and (from the outside) their kids are wonderful, intelligent, and socially adept.

 

I know my in real life experiences are highly anecdotal, so I'm wondering what you all think? Are asynchronous and twice-exceptional kids overrepresented here? Are they perhaps overrepresented among homeschoolers? Does the anonymity of an online forum just give people a place where they feel safer being real and sharing about the challenges that come with gifted children?

 

The gifted kids who do well in PS are those who are MG, maybe skew towards verbal or STEM but not wildly so, don't have 2E issues, and are the "teacher's pet" compliant personality type.

 

HSing tends to attract a disproportionate number of families with HG+ kids and also 2E kids because those children struggle more with a traditional PS classroom.

[Greenmama2]

I think this is borne out by the numbers of us who spend the majority of our WTM time talking about one or two of our children when our signatures claim we have many more children than that at home. :) We will mention the others when their interests or strengths come up, or if there's a situational problem, but the all-consuming desire to understand and be understood as a hs'er with challenges? It rotates and revolves around the 2E child in our lives. Raising one of my sons has been a full-time job. He is the joy of my life and the apple of my eye but I know for a fact that my free time will increase exponentially when he goes to college in a year.

 

If I'd I only had my middle two children I might not have homeschooled in the first place. If I had homeschooled just the two of them, I probably would have wondered what all the fuss was about, everybody needing "support" when homeschooling isn't any harder than any other job.

 

I crack myself up.

Oh gosh, I agree with this whole heartedly! My second has an explosive temper which brings it's own challenges, but it is my exceptionally bright/exceptionally anxious elder child who takes more than 98% of my parenting energy. We decided to homeschool when she was a toddler - it was already obvious that school would not be a good fit. If my DS had been an only we might never have home schooled.

[MinivanMom]

I think this is borne out by the numbers of us who spend the majority of our WTM time talking about one or two of our children when our signatures claim we have many more children than that at home. :) We will mention the others when their interests or strengths come up, or if there's a situational problem, but the all-consuming desire to understand and be understood as a hs'er with challenges? It rotates and revolves around the 2E child in our lives. Raising one of my sons has been a full-time job. He is the joy of my life and the apple of my eye but I know for a fact that my free time will increase exponentially when he goes to college in a year.

 

If I'd I only had my middle two children I might not have homeschooled in the first place. If I had homeschooled just the two of them, I probably would have wondered what all the fuss was about, everybody needing "support" when homeschooling isn't any harder than any other job.

 

I crack myself up.

 

This makes so much sense to me. Now that I think about it, there are certain posters here who have a lot of children, but I feel like I know a lot about just one of their children in particular based on their posts.

[MinivanMom]

My eldest is globally gifted (as in all but one subtest (which was 93rd percentile) fell in the gifted range and overall >99.9 prcentile). He is truly bad at writing though and he gets a lot of negative attention for this. It was more obvious he was gifted at preschool though because the teachers had time to actually talk to him and the activities were more open ended.

 

My not quite as highly gifted younger child will probably do better at school (provided he keeps his temper under control).

 

All this is a roundabout way of saying the kids they are talking about are probably MG extroverts.

 

Yes, all the friends I'm thinking of have children who are MG extroverts with very easy-going temperaments. They are a very particular type. Public school is a good fit and they are beloved by their teachers, even if they aren't always fully challenged by the curriculum.

 

[MinivanMom]

This would have been me if DD was in school. Or even with her at home, if she were an only. It would have been all roses and sunshine. DS11 would never have been recognized as gifted. I truly believe that with every fiber of my being. I had nightmares about what would happen if I put him in school, always featuring a remedial reading group because he wouldn't read in front of people, despite being able to read virtually any written material before he even reached K. DS8 would have been "offered" meds by now, but at least he might have been recognized. Wouldn't have lasted long without drugs, barely has lasted here without them some days, LOL, but who knows...

 

Anyway, I think one big reason you are seeing universal happy parents of gifted children is because so many gifted children in PS, and I would bet dollars to doughnuts most 2e kids, are never recognized as such and are instead thrown into other, less positive categories. It is hard to escape a pigeonhole. Atypical intelligence, masked intelligence, and deficits that appear larger than strengths, inflexibility on the part of teachers, administrators, and the classroom environment, etc. all serve to hogtie a kid in school. In my experience, PS is not a strength-based model of education. Happy gifted children are probably more of the all-around variety, although I find this funny as well, because all my kids are actually pretty well-rounded. They just don't appear so at first (superficial) glance, just DD. Of course I let them round slowly and evenly, as necessary. We can be flexible like that at home. Easy to pigeonhole at school for sure.

 

What a sad thought, but this is probably what's happening.

[Arcadia]

I think it's just that those of us with asynchronous/2e kids are the ones who talk a lot ;).

I agree about parents with 2E or PG being more vocal in the accelerated forum here or any "gifted" forums.

I do know HG kids and adults who enjoy school (including private school) maybe because they are "extreme" extroverts but I don't know any PG kids in real life. I also know HG adults extroverts though who even though they don't work have a full social calendar :lol:

 

That's how I know some of the kids in my neighborhood that is on the spectrum. Their moms announce that on the neighborhood mom's group mailing list every time autism month comes around (kids privacy anyone :P ). I do know kids with ADHD but their moms don't announce the fact. I don't personally know any with dyslexia even though my school district does the free evaluation for dyslexia upon parents request. I know quite a few neighborhood kids with speech therapy by the school district since they were three.

 

School districts are so unequal here too. Mine are good with services and don't push medications so there is no push to homeschool because of autism or ADHD. My kid's school offered for my older, I did not even need to request. Some districts are even more proactive at providing services. When an informal poll was done recently in my area for a new k-8 school and high school, no one was homeschooling, plenty in private. The school district was polling for numbers for planning purposes.

 

ETA:

A neighbor who homeschooled for a few years did it for religious reasons and her children went to private "religious" school when she went back to work.

 

ETA:

It is sad that some of you get treated badly for being PG or 2E. I only had a teacher asked about hot housing and she was just curious not accusatory since the "tiger mom" book was just released. Only a friend (not in same neighborhood) who's toddler might be PG had bad experiences with strangers and is looking to rent elsewhere.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Yeah, I talk about DS11 all the time because he is a tough nut to crack, school wise, and he is so different from me strength wise. Plus, as my oldest he is the homeschool test dummy here. ;) Easy to parent though. DD is just easy. She is just like me so that helps, interested in everything, easy to please in a variety of ways, never bored, busy as a bee. DS8 is easy to educate, generally compliant with whatever I throw at him for school, although a (euphemism alert) challenge to parent sometimes.

[Dory]

I do think that asynchrony/2e does lead people to homeschooling.  These types of kids have very individualized needs that simply cannot be catered for at a standard school.  Homeschooling allows them celebrate their strengths and shore up their weaknesses in a much more straightforward manner than if they were in school moving lock step with the class.

 

So yes, I do think they are over-represented on this board.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

This is basically why we are homeschooling. My dd is fairly well rounded and would do fine in the public school, but she wants to be home because she likes how much more she can read and learn. My boys, on the other hand, were drowning at school. My oldest is 2e and NEEDED help but was just getting shuffled around. He thought he was stupid because that's how he was treated.

 

MG kids seem to do the best in the school system. Their parents are usually the ones happy and beaming about them. That's my dd.

 

It's a rarity for me to talk about my kids gifts with the people in the real world around me. I have one friend who has a PG son who is much older then my kids and she chats with me once in awhile. It is soooo amazingly relieving to just talk about parenting these kids with someone who understands. I have had people tell me my kids are only this way because I must push them, or that I was going to ruin their futures if I allowed them to go so far ahead, or that I'm allowing them to become as socially inept as Sheldon Cooper (my SIL). I have never had anyone in my immediate social circles encourage me in what I am doing, or offer any understanding, except that one lady with the gifted son.

 

I think perhaps people with PG and HG kids tend to turn to homeschooling at a higher percentage then usual, and I think that perhaps they gravitate towards places online where they can talk to others in similar situations. That's probably what is happening here. It's lonely sometimes parenting a 2e kid and it's even more lonely when you have the same problems as them and have never figured out how to handle it in your own life. A freak raising more little freaks. I hurt for my kids.

[boscopup]

When I was pulling my oldest out of school due to being ridiculously bored, one of the other parents asked why I didn't just skip him a grade. Well, I could have done that, except that he couldn't keep up with the physical writing requirements, and he would have still been bored in reading and math. That wasn't a good solution. Now that he's a rising 5th grader, his writing is catching up, so he's not as asynchronous. He's a whole lot easier to teach. I still wouldn't be able to stick him in a classroom a grade level up due to the writing (his writing is right at grade level), but the gap is closing. He could probably handle public high school if we were zoned for one that offered advanced classes (rural area, failing schools).

 

My youngest would probably do fine in public school, but he'd be completely bored. He is not asynchronous, that I can tell. His LA abilities are above his math abilities, but he's ahead in both.

 

Middle kid is probably the one I talk about the most. He might be 2e. I have no idea. I don't think he'd do well in a classroom. In fact, he probably would have ended up in special ed for reading and been bored by the math (where he is ahead).

 

Many people homeschool their kids because they had problems with placement in school - gifted, 2e, or LDs. And people come here to ask questions when they have problems, so I would think that yes, the vocal people will more likely be those with outliers. The kid that happily goes along at grade level with no struggles and no boredom isn't going to have a parent with lots of questions, kwim?

[AimeeM]

I'm not sure. In my own real life, I've only ever known asynchronous gifted folk.

 

In my area, anyone who tests high on the end of year standardized test earns a place in the public gifted program. The problem is that you must test high across the board. So no matter how gifted you may be in one area, no matter the extreme of your gift in one particular area, you will not earn a place in the "gifted" program or the "gifted" school (we have a dedicated "gifted" school here - public). You can imagine the result of such entrance requirements - we have a lot of bright, motivated children (i.e. Batman Children) who are told they are gifted, because of one test, and a teacher recommendation (because the other requirement is that teacher recommendation and that the child "does well" in class). Because there is no way in hades that over 50% of the population (here) is gifted.

 

This standard of "gifted-ness" also means, of course, that 2E children AND asynchronous gifted children almost never get a chance to shine in public school - which leads many parents to homeschool, so yeah, I guess it may be overrepresented here.

 

My husband was blessed to receive an education in a stellar Catholic school system that recognized some gifted children are asynchronous. While overall a "genius" on paper, he did not do better than B/C work in language arts; he did, however, get bussed on Saturdays, all day, to the Catholic high school, during grade school, for Algebra/advanced maths, along with a few similarly minded peers. If he had attended our local public schools, today, he never would have had that chance, because he wouldn't have earned the necessary "all over" test scores to allow him entrance into such programs.

 

 

[Erin]

I do think that asynchrony/2e does lead people to homeschooling.  These types of kids have very individualized needs that simply cannot be catered for at a standard school.  Homeschooling allows them celebrate their strengths and shore up their weaknesses in a much more straightforward manner than if they were in school moving lock step with the class.

 

So yes, I do think they are over-represented on this board.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

This is exactly what I was thinking.  

 

I'm a fan of public school.  I'm a public school teacher.  I have one very bright kid who is excelling in school.  

But I also have a bright kid with ADD.  That combination is a recipe for falling through the cracks and he was doing exactly that.  

I grew up with a 2E just like my son.  My brother was always in trouble, always behind, but clearly genius.  He struggled until he was in upper middle school where the gifted track kicked in for him and away he went.  

 

I've seen it from the other side of the desk, as well.  I can think of one kid in particular who was always the "naughty kid, just wait til you get him" type.  He didn't have any official labels on him, but I recognized the signs immediately. We had a ball in second grade.  :)  He still seeks me out to chat when he knows I'm in the high school, subbing.  High praise, there.  

He was indeed a devious little turkey, so you had to stay on top of him, but he was the definition of 2E.  Worse than my own, even.  lol  With devoted, determined parents, he's going to make it.  He's a sophomore this year and he's almost got himself figured out.  

 

But just making it wasn't good enough for me.  I want my kid to thrive.  

Homeschooling lets me do that. 

 

And, with the nationwide decline in gifted education in schools, it seems to be the answer for a lot of people, hence the weird skewing at this board.

[Erin]

My oldest is 2e and NEEDED help but was just getting shuffled around. He thought he was stupid because that's how he was treated. {SNIP} That's probably what is happening here. It's lonely sometimes parenting a 2e kid and it's even more lonely when you have the same problems as them and have never figured out how to handle it in your own life. A freak raising more little freaks. I hurt for my kids.

 

To your first point, my son was the same way.  He would come home in tears, not understanding how other kids got their work done in class and it would take him all hour and then some at home.  And that was on days when he'd actually remember to write down the assignment.  Other days he would be zoned out in the back of the classroom and tune in just long enough to catch, "And that's due tomorrow!  Have a good afternoon, guys."  

Oh crap.  

 

He clearly had reading delays, probably dyslexia, as well as what looked suspiciously like ADD.  I asked for testing several times and nothing ever came of it.  No one else thought there was anything to it.  He was just a little behind average.  

Well yeah.  That's because he was bright enough he'd figured out how to compensate!

But consequently, because he knew he wasn't able to work up to his ability, he thought he was stupid.  We're still working on that one.  :(

 

 

To the second:

This is my brother's fear.  I mean, it's a real worry for him and he has his Masters from MIT and works for Google.  (Ie, obviously he managed to muddle through)

You can already see it VERY clearly in his older son.  I remember listening to him explain the subway system one time when he was 2.  Two!  lol  I don't know about his younger brother yet, but this one is extremely bright and quite likely ADHD.  They're still hoping it's his age rather than ADHD, though, but I have a sneaking suspicion... 

[serendipitous journey]

I do think that asynchrony/2e does lead people to homeschooling.  These types of kids have very individualized needs that simply cannot be catered for at a standard school.  Homeschooling allows them celebrate their strengths and shore up their weaknesses in a much more straightforward manner than if they were in school moving lock step with the class.

 

So yes, I do think they are over-represented on this board.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

 

The gifted kids who do well in PS are those who are MG, maybe skew towards verbal or STEM but not wildly so, don't have 2E issues, and are the "teacher's pet" compliant personality type.

 

HSing tends to attract a disproportionate number of families with HG+ kids and also 2E kids because those children struggle more with a traditional PS classroom.

 

Ruth & Crimson Wife said this much more clearly and thoroughly than I would have!  This sums us up.  If A. were the sort to fit in PS he'd probably be there. 

 

There are two other considerations that come to mind, RE the OP and talking with other parents about their children. 

 

1.  I've found that few other parents have the same standard of "wellness" that I do.  Some friends have gifted children doing very "well" where well includes getting good grades by doing the bare minimum of work and generally having a very poor work ethic -- that would not be "well" at our homeschool, that would be cause for changing something.  Or a child doing well may be emotionally frail in ways that do not interfere with her general performance and rating by teachers.  Things like that. 

 

Naturally, some of them really ARE doing well -- hurrah!  :)

 

2.  Barring a diagnosis, pretty much all the bright parents we know have children who are thriving in elementary school.  HOWEVER, nearly all the parents of this group with high-school age children have had some serious challenges, often arising from issues that could have been dealt with or addressed earlier.  The work-ethic thing comes to mind.  Another is children who are hard for the parents to manage and so the parents rely on the school to manage the child, and consider that if reports from school are good then the child is developing well.  So, one reason I'm homeschooling is that everyone in our peer group enjoys their tots & early elementary children and nearly all of them really struggle with the ones in high school.  If these are mainly elementary-ish children (in the OP) the happy reports are not surprising. 

 

Again, homeschooling isn't a proof against serious high school troubles.  And some children do really well all the way through, only the expected and fairly minor bumps & glitches.  BUT I do think that the hard issues I'm working out with my young children could be glossed in elementary but would come back to bite us later.  Just a thought. 

[raptor_dad]

 

I've had a few conversations (in real life) recently with friends who send their kids to public school. I was really struck by how positive their comments were about giftedness. I don't think I ever hear anything negative about giftedness in real life. Everyone has kids that are globally gifted (identified as gifted in both math & reading/lang.arts since they are identified separately here); all of their kids are gifted, not just one or two; and the parents are thrilled, thrilled at their fantastic luck in having such fantastic children. I look at their kids and (from the outside) their kids are wonderful, intelligent, and socially adept.

 

 

I'm thrilled to have such fantastic children. 2E issues don't change that.

 

I do think non-ideological HSers are more likely to have either more gifted or more quirky kids or likely both.

 

However, we have IRL friends from grad school who are living in the area(>1000 miles from grad school). Their daughter is highly social and poised, globally bright, plays hockey and soccer,etc etc...They live in a suburb known for good schools and she is identified globally gifted. This past year in 2nd grade they have been dealing with the acceleration issue. She is bored, especially in math. She started "losing" her homework and refusing to do the work. All the issues that we usually assign to "quirky" 2e males are showing up. They have gotten her a grade skip, which won't be enough, and plan to spend next year school shopping. The issues that come up on this board aren't limited to 2e kids. Lots of regular posters, Regentrude, etc, came to HS late; after the public schools failed for non-2E reasons.

 

 

[Heathermomster]

Do you think asynchronous & twice-exceptional gifted kids are overrepresented on these forums? Do you think it affects the tone of the conversation here?

 

I've had a few conversations (in real life) recently with friends who send their kids to public school. I was really struck by how positive their comments were about giftedness. I don't think I ever hear anything negative about giftedness in real life. Everyone has kids that are globally gifted (identified as gifted in both math & reading/lang.arts since they are identified separately here); all of their kids are gifted, not just one or two; and the parents are thrilled, thrilled at their fantastic luck in having such fantastic children. I look at their kids and (from the outside) their kids are wonderful, intelligent, and socially adept.

 

I know my in real life experiences are highly anecdotal, so I'm wondering what you all think? Are asynchronous and twice-exceptional kids overrepresented here? Are they perhaps overrepresented among homeschoolers? Does the anonymity of an online forum just give people a place where they feel safer being real and sharing about the challenges that come with gifted children?

Yes, 2e kiddos on the WTM seem to be over represented.

 

I attend a quarterly support meeting with the moms of my son's peers, and there is no discussion of advanced work going on. I've learned to just be quiet. In fact, I rarely attend the meetings anymore.

[raptor_dad]

OK. I've thought about this further and I don't actually think 2e or async. kids are over represented on this board.

 

A flexible approach to classical homeschooling should accommodate kids who are rather gifted. The ones who need more are likely to be either more highly gifted or more asynchronous  or more 2e. This over-representation isn't the fault of the board but rather it reflects the limitations of public schools compared to homeschooling. The content parents you see IRL would likely be thriving on the WTM general board. They would be the great success stories. I think the accelerated board draws the parents  for whom the standard offerings fail; it doesn't matter if that is WTM or the PS gifted program.

 

 

[Cammom220]

It's an interesting question- I think parents whose kids are having challenges may naturally seek support and conversation with other parents in a similar boat. My son isn't 2e, but he was asynchronous enough as a toddler/preschooler that we were feeling worried. We didn't know about asynchronous development and had not yet considered giftedness as a contributing (not causing) factor. 

[psychmom]

I don't know the answer to the OP's question--but I think I am an example of someone who ended up here because of the challenges presented by 2e children.  I never considered homeschooling until my dd was in preschool and I realized that due to some medical issues, she was not going to be toilet trained by kindergarten.  She could read chapter books, but was still having multiple accidents daily.  She also had some other challenging behaviors--what I now recognize as oversensitivities that can go along with giftedness.  I sought out every resource possible, and while I don't post all that often, I have found these boards to be an invaluable resource! 

 

My ds, who is 6, is also likely gifted (dd has been tested, but not ds). Honestly, if he had been my oldest, I doubt I would have considered hs with him.  He can be stubborn as a mule, but otherwise he is much more easygoing than my dd and does not seem to have as many asynchronies. 

 

For various reasons, both kids are going to private school in the fall.  I am conflicted an anxious about this, but I guess that is for another thread!  I will continue to haunt these boards, because they truly have been a lifesaver :)

[WinsomeCreek]

I found this board while seeking answers and resources for my most out there kid. It turns out he doesn't look (or test) 2e at all when placed in an appropriate learning environment. In fact all of the positive, interactive, social and happy qualities only showed up in a classroom once he was accelerated to a group at the right working level. I don't worry as much about my other kids (one is dyslexic, other has memory issues) since they are much more content working below their abilities. So it is my globally gifted kid that brings me here, not the 2es. Just to add to the data....