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Neighborhood Toddlers? WWYD


Paige
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That's totally unreasonable to send the babies over. My almost three year old is allowed in our yard with his older siblings, but he's not allowed to leave it, even if the big kids go. My 5 and 9yo boys like to go just down the road to play with a family whose kids are 4, 6, and 8, but the almost 3yo is not, unless I go with him.

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HOLD THE PHONE! She kept your baby INSIDE (hidden from plain sight!) feed her when she doesn't know if she had food allergies while you were frantically searching!?!??!  NO!!!! You find a baby in your house, you take them to every single house until you find their parent!!!!! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

 

Yep. DD had walked over, rang the doorbell, and asked if she could play or have a drink or something. We found her when we started ringing doorbells ourselves. DD was fine. At the time I was so thankful to find her that I wasn't mad. 

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When this happened here a couple of years ago, I told the older child to take the younger home.  I just politely told them that our yard wasn't safe for kids that young and they needed to go home.  Each time I saw them, I told them the same thing.  

 

When a 3yo started showing up on her own to play, I told her to go home too.  I told her she was too young to play in our yard without an adult watching her.  

 

 

Over time, they stopped showing up in my yard.  I simply didn't want the liability.  We had a large Rainbow Play structure and I didn't want to have to worry about the kids being out there alone, falling, getting hurt....whatever.   Not my kid and I don't babysit without being asked first. 

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Well, if you are uptight, I don't know what I am b/c I'd send them all home.  We have never had kids (of any age) playing in our yard w/o specific prearranged plans being made ahead of time.    

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Uh, I have a toddler.

 

No way in HADES would I allow Tazzie or Princess to take him anywhere. EVER. The most they're allowed to do is be in *our* yard w/him, and that's a recent development, and I'm racing from window to window to check on them.

 

The idea of sending him to someone else's yard? No, no, no.

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How unfair to the seven year olds, among all the other outrageousness.

 

If I am reading this correctly, these children are admitting themselves to your back yard?

 

Oh no way would that happen here. Have the sibs return those babies and then let them know they can only play in/on your property via the front door and your nod of approval, not once for all but every single visit.

 

I would not give one hoot what any of the neighbors think of me. If they don't recognize me as someone with at least a decent bit of common sense, their opinions aren't valuable anyway.

 

You can say no with a smile. But still, protect yourself. As it is, you are lawsuit bait.

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I would tell the parents that I'm not comfortable with the little ones over at my house and them not there to watch their child.  It's your property and your responsibility to do what's best. 

 

Also, I wouldn't let any children play on my property without my approval first.  I don't want anyone feeling comfortable enough that they can just let themselves in and out of our gate whenever they want.  They would need to let me know they are there first.

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HOLD THE PHONE! She kept your baby INSIDE (hidden from plain sight!) feed her when she doesn't know if she had food allergies while you were frantically searching!?!??!  NO!!!! You find a baby in your house, you take them to every single house until you find their parent!!!!! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

 

 

We had a situation around here that would blow your mind. A six or seven year old girl got out through a hole she made in her fence while her mom was sleeping inside. (Her mom had the flu.) She became lost and wandered into a church. The woman at the church, instead of calling the police, took her home and kept her overnight. She called the police when she saw the newscast that the girl had been reported missing. 

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I am pretty free range, but NO WAY would I let someone else's toddler play in my yard unless the parent asked me to watch them. I would sweetly take them home every. single. time. and sweetly let the parents know I am unable to supervise the toddler at that time.

 

I wouldn't mind the 7-8 year-olds, though, as long as they were reasonable well-behaved. We've got a triangle of boy houses here and they're all going in and out of our yards at all three houses. They're all pretty good at letting us know where they're playing as they move from house to house.

 

Cat

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I would take the two year olds home, and just tell the moms that your yard is not supervised so young children can't play there.  And I would see whether I wanted to make friends with the moms enough to invite them to bring their littles over and supervise or not.  If not, I'd send them home with the older sibs, every time, unless I was personally willing to supervise them by being outside in direct view.  Anything other than that is just plain dangerous with that age difference and the specific hazards of the property.

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I'm pretty sure there are adults home at both places all the time the kids are home. One is a SAHM and the other has them in daycare when she works and there's usually also a grandparent or babysitter and maybe a boyfriend or more at home with them when she's home.

 

Now I'm worrying about what will happen to one baby if we don't let baby stay. Baby would probably be safer in my unsupervised yard than (un)supervised with sibling by the creek or even in their own yard. There's a pool with no fence. I know...boggles the mind! There's a reason we aren't close friends.

You don't have pool fence regulations over there? Your house may be safer than theirs but it isn't safe for little kids. How about children under 7 need to be invited guests or supervised by a parent (who has asked or been specifically invited).

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I haven't read responses, but I would not be okay with watching someone else's two year olds without them expressly asking me...as a favor...occasionally :).  I don't even let my four year old go out of my fenced backyard without me, my three year old, no way!  She makes foolish (typical three year old) decisions inside the house, with me in the adjoining room where I can rescue her.  My neighbor sends his four year old out to play with my kids, which I think is borderline annoying, and I don't stay out to watch him if my little two go in.  I would just mention to the parents that you are uncomfortable with the situation.  

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HOLD THE PHONE! She kept your baby INSIDE (hidden from plain sight!) feed her when she doesn't know if she had food allergies while you were frantically searching!?!??! NO!!!! You find a baby in your house, you take them to every single house until you find their parent!!!!! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

If she's out looking frantically then she isn't going to be home. I think it's also reasonable to keep a lost child safe outside your own house and keep watch for the frantic parent so you don't miss each other.

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I would take them back immediately and pretend that I thought they were lost. "You must have been SO worried about little Jane. She must have followed her older sister out of the house. It's so scary to think what could happen to a two year old out without a parent. I'm glad we were able to find her for you."

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Take them home when they show up.

 

I would not be fine with it at all. Especially in today's litigious society and they're TWO. Wth are those parents thinking?

 

Ditto.  I would never assume it was ok for my kids to play somewhere....even when they were older.  I would NEVER have thought it ok to send a child that still needed supervision.

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I had a neighbor who would send her 18-month-old over with her 4-year-old. She would walk in my door and start going through the pantry and fridge looking for snacks. It was so weird. We lived in a townhouse at the time, and all the kids kind of ran around out in front of the houses and the moms hung around outside, so I don't think it was a safety issue, but I did feel like I was babysitting. And with kids that little, i can't really communicate with them the way i feel like i need to communicate with a child guest. I don't feel that way with kids about 3 1/2 and older. I mean, yeah, I feel somewhat responsible for any kid at my house, but if the kid is potty trained and stays with the older kids, I'm fine with it. Plus, old 3-year-olds just don't feel like babies to me.

 

My ds started running around with dd when he was just under 4 and she was just under 7. Dd isn't necessarily responsible for him (I don't tell her to keep an eye on him or anything), but I do ask them to stick together.

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I had to tell one child that her sibling was too little to play here and luckily, the other child was there at the same time and I think she got the message. No babies have been over since. I felt like a big meanie because the little guy was so cute, happy, and sweet before I crushed his little spirit. But I held firm and I don't think the older siblings were upset at all. They took him home...he probably cried.....and they came back happy. The older kids always ask to play, but they hadn't informed me when they asked the other times that the babies were with them. I would be asked if Girl A and B could play and agreed to that, and then when I looked in the yard, I'd see that it was Girl A, Baby A, and Girl B. 

 

I haven't seen or heard from the parents. 

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